We Broke Up . . . Then I Found Out I’m Pregnant

[@vikker8274]

I married a “nice guy” at 23. Others were looking for bells and whistles into their 30’s. 33 years later it was one of the best decisions ever. We’ve been through so much and are kind to each other and laugh a lot. This guys sounds responsible and that’s huge.

[@traditionalgirl3943]

Those reasonable, willing guys tend to have the commitment that grows love through thick and thin. A stable committed marital vow is powerful. Let God be a big part of your relationship and it will produce much good fruit. ✝️❤️🙏👍😊🌷👏👏👏

[@Neoteny374]

G-d bless you, Ma'am. Yes, he does sound responsible, doesn't he. I got together with my wife when she was 16 and me 19.

[@sixthangel9716]

Married a nice guy my girlfriends think was boring and 10 years 4 kids later happiest time of my life. He's always there day in day out grinding through the hard times with me. Some other girls wanted the "cool" guys and ended up being single moms.

[@eileenwatt8283]

She young but he's willing so give him a chance. It's better than having another in the picture.

[@anndeecosita3586]

The problem is he thinks he’s a nice guy but can’t really say because she barely knows him. I have dated several guys who seemed “nice” to begin with until their other side came out.

[@Neoteny374]

"He's a good guy" "He's putting in the effort" "He asked to be moved to another shift" Girl, what you have is a boyfriend stepping up to be a man, a husband and a father. Why is single motherhood even being considered. Society is broken.

[@wolfpackwarriors]

Women are extremely selfish

[@anndeecosita3586]

She barely knows him. I think it would be good to move forward with coparenting but not jump into getting married or moving in together. She needs to see what he’s like when he’s angry/frustrated or whatever. If they had been dating in a committed long term I would feel differently.

[@Neoteny374]

@@anndeecosita3586 See what you did there? You quickly framed the narrative that he is bad. For no other reason that he is male. You're saying she ought to consider being a single mom as her default option because men start at a baseline setting of angry/abusive. Although he ought to stay as "a coparent" but not as a family. Which means of course , financial coparenting from way out in the outer darkness. It's terrible to think what women today think is virtuous.

[@chill3282]

@@anndeecosita3586 In the short time they have known each other he has proven himself to be a good person and is taking actions in being responsible and a good father. Also, people who are angry are angry. What kinda logic is this? You’re assuming the worst based on nothing other than what? He’s a guy? He’s a person? Give people the benefit of the doubt especially when all evidence supports it.

[@CJ-re7bx]

​@@Neoteny374there is nothing virtuous about anything in this situation either way. It would probably be more traumatic for the baby to go through potential abuse and a divorce afterwards, rather than two parents slowly moving towards each other and communicating more and more until they do decide to get married though.

[@lost4weeks]

😂 Casually dating but having unprotected sex is a wild combination. I am not even religious but praying for these youth man

[@JustBeingAwesome]

Keep in mind that even with an UID you can get pregnant. Not everyone who gets pregnant isn't using contraception.

[@deusexmachina9776]

@@JustBeingAwesome that is so rare. if only women who used protection end up pregnant we would have very few single mums

[@RDCFemmes]

No method offers 100% protection, C'mon it:s 2024 and people still don't know that? Abstinence is the only guaranteed method.

[@kdog4587]

​Same here! I'm married and also have PCOS too and still got pregnant! Our son's 4 now, best thing that happened but still, it happens for sure@Vanessa___kelman

[@deusexmachina9776]

@Vanessa___kelman again very rare case

[@14elvira14]

She doesn't realize how much she's going to need him. Babies are so so difficult.

[@snicole042]

Babies are easy it’s when they start walking and talking haha.

[@izabellapollock]

@@snicole042definitely not easy when the baby needs childcare and a roof over their heads. It’s hard to do without family support or baby’s father in the picture. Even if she does have support and housing from family while she cares for baby, the father being present (if he’s a good and useful person) will help a lot. Babies need a village and definitely benefits from both parents being present

[@TheMissionLog]

That's what I thought. Then I realized how controlling and toxic he was and was SO much better off on my own! Single motherhood with an infant was rough but I am infinitely grateful we didn't end up married!

[@TheMissionLog]

@@snicole042 For me it was the other way around. Having a baby was torture because she was so needy and I never got a break. Once she starting walking and talking it was easier because she could communicate what she wanted and do some things by herself. I finally had a break!

[@isabelleharvey4832]

lol no she doesn’t. My son is 4 and I’ve had little to no help. A baby isn’t a reason to keep a man around if he’s not the RIGHT man.

[@therealjd1503]

A similar thing happened with me . I broke up with my then girlfriend and fortunately a few days later I begged her back. We got back together and the next day she found out she was pregnant. That was 20 years ago, we are happily married, had twins from that pregnancy and one more several years later. I have looked back at that time often and thank god I asked her back before I found out she was pregnant. If not, she would have always thought I was just there for the kids.

[@JozelleRenia]

Wow, I’m happy to hear a successful turnout for y’all 😊

[@haploid2k]

Um, I recommend a paternity test. “your” child is likely actually fathered by whomever at the bar she got revenge on you with.

[@benascg-ll7sq]

Great point on being glad you asked her back before she found out she was pregnant. In any case you showed up as a man of integrity. Question : based on your experience, what is the one advice you would give the caller? Thank you

[@benascg-ll7sq]

I commend this young woman for her willingness to confront reality and prepare for the future

[@h.neubert8770]

@haploid2k doing too much bud

[@sophiegosselin5280]

She's in a state of shock. She doesn't realize a lot of things because she's very young. Good luck Jade, take a deep breath and congrats on your baby

[@ruthirwin8222]

She not that young

[@MaryWehmeier]

Immature.

[@DFringeMinority]

She is just selfish...

[@sneakerdude3654]

20 is young

[@dakotasikes6690]

They screwed up but she doesn't realize how lucky she is to have the dude willingly step up

[@laladesy7352]

He should be stepping up he made the kid with her… That’s not luck it’s you taking responsibility for what you chose to do

[@dakotasikes6690]

@laladesy7352 yes but she needs to step up to she chose to sleep with him now is second guessing everything and working the bare minimum hours if anything she needs to step up and be thankful it wasn't the abuser that got her pregnant

[@FEVERDREAM889]

You owe it to the baby to give the good guy a chance. You can fix communication issues. It sounds like you found the guy that so many single moms want...a present and passionate father. His communication wasn't great because you were casually dating, which doesn't get his maximum attention. He was appropriately communicating for your dating level. And now he's stepped up to match the level. I hope it works out for y'all. Don't let casual dating ruin a happy future.

[@jeannet7443]

Yep!

[@Catechuman23]

This comment is the correct answer to the dilemma.

[@Trish-lamour]

However, they should sit and talk talk talk before move in together.

[@FEVERDREAM889]

@@Trish-lamour Oh for sure. They need to give it a chance to get to know each other. Not just write it off because of "poor communication" when they weren't even really a couple.

[@petrap1769]

eh no she has to do what feels best for her

[@ShrinkingJenn]

That Magic Moment happened to me! Was dating for 6 years but things kinda fizzled so we decided to go our separate ways. Took a pregnancy test for a clean break, but it was positive!! Within minutes of results we were planning our wedding. Next week is my 28 year wedding Anniversary, have 2 amazingly wonderful daughters, and love & support with a beautiful life! Thank you Lord for that Magic Moment!! 🌻🌷

[@Dansyoung]

This is what life is all about. When times get tough, we lace the boots up and address the situation to the best of our abilities. Thanks for the great story, too many folks throw in the towel, a relationship will always require effort and work.

[@Leipuanani]

So happy for you!❤

[@worldinperson]

you did get pregnant to keep him, didn't you? 😂

[@haploid2k]

Congratulations! May God bless you and see to it that your husband never thinks to do a surreptitious paternity test on his presumed children! Or, if he does, his life insurance policy will pay out in the event of an “accident”. Lord Bless Us All!

[@Heavens-Humanaterian-Army]

I'm happy for you but your not them.

[@MegananaOwl]

I appreciate how Dr. John doesn’t cast judgement on her for her past decisions, but does give her the hard truth of the reality her decisions have created.

[@pierrehenry3483]

It was very foolish on both their parts but it has already happened. No need beating down on the past.

[@theluckienurse]

Maybe I have a fashioned mindset but the way this man wants to step up for both the baby and her and do “the right thing” would’ve earned my love and loyalty, forever. Especially since she started the call by saying there was nothing wrong with the man in the first place.

[@simba8665]

No wonder why fathers used to pick husbands for their daughters. Or other societies have short-gun marriages, once the find out you got pregnant without marriage. Some people will disadvantage a generation from their foolish decision based on zero logic.

[@mildajasaite871]

Looks like there is a lot of us with same mindset... a woman complaining that man wants to take care of her and their baby 😅

[@theluckienurse]

@@mildajasaite871 it’s insanity 😂 meanwhile single mothers everywhere are crying and praying the father of their child was like this man lol

[@biznachos1]

I'll have a baby with you ~ but don't move quickly in the relationship....

[@landonlowe4029]

lol got your order wrong😭😭

[@elenagandolfo4058]

its healthy to question things

[@landonlowe4029]

@@elenagandolfo4058 it is but the point here is you probably should ask the questions before you have an 18 year project 😂 it’s all jokes though well a real joke but a joke nonetheless

[@tjturner3916]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that's crazy. There's no "slow down" at this point. It's not about her any more. This is just sad.

[@elenagandolfo4058]

@@landonlowe4029 idk she said that she has a good support sistem even without marriage in the picture so its completely fine to question what you really want

[@aribbonatatime]

"Baby daddy is a good guy and he wants to be there for the kid. Should I leave him?" 😂 You literally can't make this stuff up.

[@bluevillsplash]

She doesn't want good. She wants PROBLEMS!!!

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

“He’s great” great person” “we work different shifts only reason we broke up he on a shift now I still wanna leave him lol

[@haploid2k]

Welcome to Western women in 2024. She is upset she got knocked up so soon, and hasn’t had enough fun with Chad before settling down. John doesn’t get this. She had plans to gobble a mile of phallus, but she barely got to the 500 foot mark before biology got in her way, and John is here taking practicalities to someone who NEEDS to get to 1000 feet before she can legally drink. He doesn’t understand the modern Western woman’s priorities.

[@spacepope87]

Read what some woman has replied to my comment I left. Anyone who doesn't fit their narrative is an "Incel" 🤣

[@marier.245]

100% !!

[@lexir7504]

"he wants to move so fast" girl you're literally pregnant

[@ryukirito2616]

The dude is moving at the speed he should be, she’s still stun locked

[@purplefreax]

Shes the one who open her legs that fast 😂

[@landonlowe4029]

Lmaooo yeah something else of his moved fast so he has to follow😂

[@texasdazzlers]

When your whole relationship revolved mostly around casual sex, everything seems too fast. She should be so grateful he wants to even stick around.

[@Ja50nkAt]

​@@texasdazzlersFor real, most men are like "peace out" lol

[@natzzzzz841]

Kid has NO idea what she's in for . . .

[@jet4415]

Absolutely clueless!

[@chloeknorth]

Huh. Weird comment to make.

[@Nickbronline]

@@chloeknorth How is that weird?

[@paulenabroxson2023]

Neither did I and I was in a 1 year relationship

[@snsn7251]

Hardly a kid but yeah she needs a reality check

[@2daFull]

I never understood the reason people have children with people that they don't want a long-term relationship with.

[@dihe1392]

Yet they can't marry because that's too much commitment 😂

[@imperialbengal4068]

It’s usually not a planned thing. You’re giving these people too much credit assuming they had any forethought at all.

[@imperialbengal4068]

@@dihe1392 how would 2 people who barely know each other getting married magically make things better? Marriage is hard with people who actually love each other.

[@dihe1392]

@@imperialbengal4068 that's the irony of it. People are willing to bring humans into this world but marriage is too much commitment🤣

[@dihe1392]

@@imperialbengal4068 they can get a divorce but you can't unalive a kid

[@Texasvampire]

I am a 28 yr old single mom of an 8 & 6 year old. There comes a day when those kids who love their dad so much. Think he is the greatest person in the world. Asks you why y'all aren't together. In that moment you will think to yourself "Did I do the right thing? Did I try hard enough?"

[@yourbestam]

Just because people have children together doesn't mean that they have to be romantically together. But hey, if you need children to stay together that's your prerogative, cuz I can never imagine staying with somebody just because a child was born. If he can be a good dad with them being together, then he could be a good dad without them being together. That's how it's supposed to work.

[@simplygina7703]

She should be grateful he wants to take responsibility and stick around. Wow. Why would you choose to be a single parent willingly when a good man wants to be with you? SMH

[@murdahmammiez]

U cant force love. And the child can feel if their parents love eachother or not. Good guy but she still doesnt really know him yet.

[@murdahmammiez]

Hé can still be the Best dad n co parent . Doesnt mean she needs to mary him just cuz hes a good guy

[@chuckokoye2410]

@@murdahmammiez how would they know if they’re in love? they haven’t been together long enough to know that lol. I think they at least owe it to the kid to TRY. if it doesn’t work out, then at least they tried.

[@dblueguy]

​@@chuckokoye2410They literally already broke up, it didn't work.

[@biolife3274]

She don't like him

[@snicole042]

Does this current generation not know how reproduction works? If this man is stepping up to take care of his child, LET HIM.

[@simba8665]

What did you expect though? No one can tell a woman what to do in America, that's offensive lol.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Not just this generation. In millenial times it was already common for men to ask if they could do it without condoms cuz it "feels better." And ofc they were gone when the girl got pregnant.

[@minavelez2009]

Stop pretending this is a 'this generation' thing. This has been happening since the 60s!!

[@batkat0]

​@@Nathan_Bookwurmlmao that's a tale as old as time.

[@batkat0]

Which generation are you referring too? "The US teen birth rate has been declining since 1991, when it peaked at 61.8 births per 1,000 females ages 15-19, and has since dropped to 15.4 births per 1,000 in 2020. This is a 75% decline from 1991, with the rate dropping 20% from 1990-2000, 28% from 2000-2010, and 55% from 2010-2020. The rate has continued to decline, reaching 16.7 births per 1,000 in 2019 and 17.4 in 2018."

[@nataleedenlinger635]

I landed myself in the opposite situation where the dad doesn’t want us or to support us. I would kill for this situation

[@Leipuanani]

Yes. She didn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

I'm sorry 🙏🏿❤️

[@m.nonymous5173]

Same

[@Girlgonewise]

Sis, you better stick with this guy. You should have thought about all this before having sex.

[@imperialbengal4068]

*unprotected sex

[@rz8753]

Exactly it’s too late to be indecisive about him / she was sleeping with him what she expect

[@lindsey5365]

My older sister was a teenage mom. I saw how hard it was for her and taking care of my niece while still completing high school with my mom’s help. I am 36 and still waiting until marriage. Would not change my choice and mind until waiting for my husband and our wedding night for nothing. Can’t say it’s been easy though but here I am.

[@annimalasenko7326]

I think that's called overcorection😅

[@joetheboy04]

That traumatised you. I can guarantee you have behaviours that keep men away because of what your sister went through and the hurt you carry from your dad. I pray you heal and meet your man soon

[@rz8753]

My sister was the same , teen mom. And I’m Going to be 36 I still don’t have children idk well see what happens but it was very hard for her

[@Black_Samurai-fish]

36? Having kids has sailed. I’m sorry. Maybe if you ever marry you can adopt though. There’s a lot of good kids who need a mom and dad.

[@i10v3di1f5]

@@Black_Samurai-fisha lot of people have kids past 36. the ship hasn’t sailed until you hit menopause.

[@nomnomnugget]

This young woman makes no sense. She'd rather be a single mother than try to work it out with a good guy? She needs to grow up and think about that baby. She decided to move fast in the relationship by having unprotected sex, but now that's pregnant she doesn't want to move fast by getting back with the dude and try to get to know him? What are they teaching the next generation? Geez 😩

[@DaniDani-ml8xk]

Exactly 💯

[@Afrez1189]

Feminism has brainwashed a lot of women to think men have no value... that men are completely unneeded.

[@ceradaddygibson]

She should probably not have the child if we’re being honest

[@KrisG66]

I'll bet the sex wasn't that great.

[@anndeecosita3586]

She doesn’t have to be with him in a romantic way to start getting to know him. There is more than one one type of relationship. If anything they should try to lay a foundation for a friendship. My mom said after she and my dad divorced that the reason they didn’t have as much animosity as some divorced couples is that they were friends long before they became lovers so that part reminded.

[@drkimap5784]

Gotta accept the guy’s offer and enthusiasm. Many men his age and even way older would abandon ship.

[@annt7384]

Does she, though?

[@aries84151]

Its SO CRAZY !!!!! Does she even know how many women would literally DIE to have a man like that?!?!?! Im looking for a man to NOT TREAT me like an option for YEARS, she got it ALL offered and doesnt want it? WTF.

[@Lesh004]

She needs to be upfront, she’s not wanting a romantic relationship, but a partnership. It sounds like he’s a good buy who’s ready to go all in. She’s gonna need him more than she can even begin to know. Raising a kid requires support.

[@inkdemon64mclemore57]

My husband and I had only been seeing each other for 3 months when one drunk and stupid careless night ended up with me pregnant. We sat down, we talked, and we tried to be a couple for our son. Almost 5 years later and we couldn't be happier. We're best friends and so much more. This won't happen for everyone, but this young lady owes to her child, that young man, and herself to give him an opportunity to be there like he wants to be.

[@fandoms5ever]

I think she’s just having a hard time reckoning with the fact that her lifetime partner got chosen for her faster than she expected. She won’t get to date and fall in love the normal way due to her actions. She has to grieve that and reckon with where she is

[@JustBree716]

Also she won't get to date and be the 304 she wants to be either. It's not wholesome like u think it is. But I do agree that a lot of us including me have fumbled relationships and don't realize until much later. She is on a fast track to poverty if she doesn't make a good decision

[@warrensloan3467]

I will never understand why a relationship is scarier than a pregnancy.

[@kindnessheals]

It depends on how messed up the adult relationships were when you were growing up.

[@Stanley_Baby]

Because she’s ran through, it would be different if she could still pair bond. How do I know she’s a tart? She let a guy cum inside her who was “casual”

[@tinajernigan1728]

Exactly.

[@FancyRPGCanada]

From the way he's stepping up it sounds like he's worth giving a chance. I think this girl should watch the movie "Knocked Up", it's pretty similar to her situation.

[@daphne3717]

From what I gathered, he didn’t want a relationship when they were just hooking up. “Bad communication” to a woman means he’s not texting her back. Now that she’s pregnant, all the sudden he wants to commit, and she’s just confused and scared to trust him and the situation.

[@vaska1999]

She broke up, so it seems it's very much the other way. She's clearly not that into him.

[@rubired123]

She’s still thinking as a single young and I don’t think it’s hit her that she’ll be caring for a human in a few months.

[@14elvira14]

Thank you John! People think it's rude to talk logistics, finances of parenting but that's a real obstacle to parenting!

[@HomemadebyVictoria]

Pregnancy centers often offer free diapers, formula, baby clothes, etc. Plus they can connect people with other community resources thst can be helpful. And they are often a really nonjudgmental, kind support system.

[@michaelweyenberg6238]

This a time where she needs judgement. A childs future is at stake.

[@rodyar2520]

I feel bad for the kid

[@SerErryk]

She's going to be a terrible mom it sounds like. I hope I'm wrong.

[@luisrichardo]

Nah, don’t feel bad yet. I think dad is going to end up being the rock here.

[@laladesy7352]

@@luisrichardomost men are known for being deadbeat in and out of marriages so more than Likely not . Women are known and have always been the support system for kids

[@kel-to-the-sey]

Dr. John is literally such an amazing fellow. He makes everyone feel comfortable, rather it's a hard truth or not. I admire him and we are blessed to have him in this world!

[@stephanie7572]

He's not the romantic lover she pictured, he's not Romeo, he's not a prince on a white horse whispering how lovely she is...she needs to grow up. Sounds like the boyfriend is kind and responsible. Does she know how many guys would bug out on her in this situation? Change their phone and disappear?

[@nt3833]

Yes, but there also needs to be love.

[@vaska1999]

​@@nt3833If she gives it a chance, love may develop. Obviously, there was a sexual/erotic attraction.

[@victoriaporsiempre]

@@nt3833exactly

[@tjturner3916]

So you were dating, you broke up, you discovered you're pregnant and this guy said, "Let's make the responsible and adult choice to care for this life we created." It kinda sounds like the woman is the problem here... I mean, if you don't want to be an adult, don't do adult things. Sex is an adult thing.

[@erichchan3]

Clearly the woman is too selfish here. At this point the most important thing is not her feelings but the baby.

[@Maarjaanaa]

@@erichchan3 not selfish. Just very young. She will be a good mum and maybe a happy wife too as this is really a good guy (i think of myself young... 😅

[@greenAbbot]

How is it not “popular” to say that kids do better with two parents who are on the same page? That’s a statistical fact, not an opinion.

[@Kivlor]

It's a hate fact. It defies the dominant religion in our society.

[@special_k-hvac]

Its not "popular" because people are idiots and they dont know stats

[@francestaylor9156]

Because it hurts ppl’s feefees.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

This "when parents are on the same page" is key though. They weren't even really together, how do they know they're on the same page? While the statistics may be true, it is no argument for her situation. People also change over time, so while you might be on the same page in the beginning, it's not said that 10-20 years down the road you're still compatible. My partner, kids and I had tons of health stuff going on after the kids were born, and we both mourned it in different ways which broke the relationship. We're still together as friends cuz the kids need special care so we can't separate, but we're not setting a good example for the kids here by having a broken relationship. People are focusing on staying together for the kids cuz "it's better", but it's only better when the two parents are a team on the same page.

[@h.neubert8770]

They are not yet on the same page. As clearly stated in the whole conversation.

[@michellefrench6617]

She wants to do the right thing. Sending love to her and her child. Let’s lift her up! She is a brave mother and young woman. ❤❤❤

[@RachelSings21]

God I SO wanted her to say thank you for all the free stuff he gave her, that stuff is PRICELESSSSSSSSS and not a thank you in sight 😬😬😬

[@landonlowe4029]

Not thankful about her baby dad not thankful about John’s gift… sense an issue here 🧐💀

[@vaska1999]

She's in shock. You can hear it in her voice.

[@taybee4653]

He gave her some very honest advice! Hopefully she starts by trying to communicate with her ex and get on the same page. She has got to start taking charge now before the baby gets here.

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

I hate it for the guy because she's clueless, and he's going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life.

[@imperialbengal4068]

Should’ve thought of that before busting in her

[@MindyabusinessB]

Crazy right?!? The unfortunate consequences of having unprotected sex

[@JustBree716]

Right, poor guy is gonna get the brunt of her bad decisions. John loves to coddle

[@MindyabusinessB]

@@JustBree716 last I checked it takes two to tango. They’re equally at fault.

[@JustBree716]

@@MindyabusinessB sure. But the point is is that she said out of her own mouth that he is willing to try to make a family while she sits on the fence which makes it much more believable that she will sh!t on this man

[@lexir7504]

the more i'm listening the more i'm 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ why not atleast try to make it work with this guy you're putting yourself in sooo much pain and trouble for not only you but for your child AND the child's father. having the support of him in the household will make it so much better for everyone. you baby him your family his family. having a baby brings together alott of people and affects alot of peoples lives try to be more open

[@nt3833]

Yes but you also need to have love. So before they marry or move in together they need to get to know one another and date.

[@2bornot2b11]

John always gives such wonderful advice. I love how he helps young people gain a mature perspective on very grown up situations. However, the advice for this young pregnant mom to get a second job is not so great. It takes a tremendous toll on your body to grown a human being. Mom needs lots of time to rest, cook meals that provide adequate nutrition, and bond with the growing life inside. As a first time mom, she will spend an exorbitant amount of time sleeping. This is essential for the health and well being of the child and mother. Finances are important, but making sure this baby comes into the world healthy and that the mother is healthy enough to take care of baby is more important.

[@Maarjaanaa]

I think he suggested her a second job to tell her how much money, help and support she needed and would need in future. She need this good guy to support her and their child now and later on.. She herself said HE WAS A GREAT GUY!! Take him, woman, try it!

[@sjordan7085]

A man of integrity is a priceless diamond, a rare find to treasure forever! Being a single mother is in deed a horrendous challenge. Believe it or not, it is possible to bring up a well adjusted child who contributes to society in meaningful ways, and is happy and becomes a well-adjusted adult. On the down-side, as a single mother, it means sacrificing one's own life, every step of the way, to be the very best Mom one can be for at least twenty years, in every aspect of life. Every day means being the very best Mom can be and being totally focused on that goal. It can be done!

[@TheOnlyGuitarFather]

My wife had our son 11 months after meeting. . It was rough the first couple of years as we really got to know each other but 10 years later there’s so much love in our house that I can’t imagine anything better.

[@klickingkayasmr7585]

I love your profile picture--what is this photo? Where to find?

[@DrKrysRacquel]

I understand her hesitation. He wasn’t willing to communicate well (both of them) so she rightfully ended it. However, now she feels he is only doing this because of a child. I think she wants true love and realizes if they get together it is solely due to the man feeling responsible. While it’s great he is being a standup guy, she also feels he doesn’t actually love her which makes her feel unsure. I pray it all works out for them and they both grow to love each other

[@AZ_TONY]

"Casually dating" with "communication issues" yet you were jumping into bed with him, sorry but you brought this on yourself sis

[@GAFB1122]

And he was jumping into bed with her. I know she made the call to the show, but let's not forget that piece!

[@jzwalz51robin45]

Hitting it raw CASUALLy

[@vaska1999]

Wow, I'm sure she hasn't figured that out yet!

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

"We don't communicate with each other, but we had sex." 😵‍💫

[@midnightblue117]

Yep that’s their communication... They have brilliant minds!😂

[@debasishraychawdhuri]

she thinks they don't communicate enough, he thinks there is enough communication.

[@treesnmoguls]

unprotected...

[@mikeram4210]

And I bet it was more then one time 😂😂

[@olivevideogames]

This happens when you’re just “casually dating” someone? Amazing.

[@TheBlazingEagle]

Yeah, maybe don’t sleep with people when ur not ready to build a life with them.

[@dblueguy]

​@@TheBlazingEaglenah just don't be an idiot and use birth control.

[@seosam652]

It really is fascinating.

[@Leipuanani]

😂😂😂

[@DaveKoehler1992]

Yeah, people wont even begin dating until sometime after they've begun having sex I think thats common to people in their 20s,30s and even 40s now

[@Tellmetheteasis]

I hope she does the right thing for this precious baby 🫶🏻

[@JanelKLauren]

“Choosing” to be a single mother at 20 is not unwise, but it is dangerous. I pray she finds all the resources she needs if this is her desire. Otherwise, I pray these two young people are able to grow in love and raise a beautiful family.

[@plantsntrance5513]

So glad my mom put me on birth control as a teen and gave me an important talk about the consequences/how to be safe with sex. Thank you parents!! 🔥🔥

[@SaystheTruth3]

Exactly! Same here. She also told me flat out that she is NOT taking care of my children in her house. Glad I waited ❤

[@plantsntrance5513]

@12-stringchords no i was like 15, it is very normal for teens to experiment and learn! Its totally ok if youre safe! My mother was smart to start this early!! Its completely natural! If you think you can prevent teen sex then you are delusional! Be smart and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT if you dont want anything bad to happen! 😀 Like birth control, and talking to your kids like a human being 👍

[@SaystheTruth3]

@@plantsntrance5513 I completely agree! 💯 Prevention & education Is important.

[@JustBree716]

Similar stance I took with my daughter. She just turned 27 and no kids.

[@plantsntrance5513]

@12-stringchords i said i was 16 and making sure your kid is on birth control is not ENCOURAGING them to go have sex, if you think youre gonna stop it then youre an idiot! Its called being PROACTIVE because my mom wasnt an idiot, She knew i was gonna be sexually active so wht is she supposed to do?! Say stop?! Well i wasnt gonna anyways because Its NATURAL!! If you have a problem with preventing teen pregnancy that way then sorry get over it!

[@TMPS93]

I like how Delony leaned more toward coparenting vs them "playing house" at the end. If they have the chemistry to be a healthy couple, great. A happy and healthy couple will provide a great environment for the kid. If they don't, then they should stay apart but make the kid the #1 priority. I have seen way too many young parents stick together "for the kid" and then the kid is screwed up because their parents are constantly fighting. Those couples are way better off broken up.

[@KarimeCastillo-t9g]

You chose the father/mother of your child and how amazing he wants to make it work. The very least she could do is give it a go. Both hold each other accountable and make each other and their baby a priority. To other people listening never go to bed with anyone you wouldn’t want in your life forever or want them to be a mother or father to your child. Stop being shocked when your decisions have consequences.

[@RealRickCox]

Great advice! Having a baby is a BIG deal. Everyone's life is about to change and there's nothing that can fully prepare either parent for the job.

[@jenisblessed2200]

This exact same thing happened to me. We continued dating and learning each other better and purposefully. We are now 10 years in.

[@melinated2497]

You shouldn’t just be with someone for a kid, but it might be worth putting extra effort in exploring whether a relationship might work. I have a hard time understanding opening your womb up to someone you don't really know or who is not committed to you in the first place.

[@jeannet7443]

Your last sentence is the first problem, and the beginning of many more for unmarried mothers..

[@rz8753]

I agree like you can have sex casually and feel that’s not too fast but having a baby and him trying to make it work is.. doesn’t make sense

[@Tm-gg2mz]

Most people can marry and have a good marriage if both are emotionally healthy, committed and basically get along and are attracted to each other. 20 is young but not super young. I know plenty of people who got married at that age. Having kids grows you up fast and if you're both committed to growing and making it work, I would tell you to go for it!

[@DensityMatrix1]

Yup. Marriage is about making a team not any fantasy nonsense.

[@simba8665]

@@DensityMatrix1 try tell young women that today. Everything is me me me.

[@DensityMatrix1]

@@simba8665 They are going to find out. Life is long. You are only in your twenties for what seems like a blink.

[@simba8665]

@@DensityMatrix1 but you know what’s more scary, delusional people this sometimes never wake up. Some older women still act like this, sounding as this they gonna live or be fertile forever

[@JamesCraigWhoop]

As Maury says, you dont have to be together but he needs to be in the baby's life

[@alyssapowelltate4000]

But being together will be a MUCH better situation

[@JustBree716]

She'll be the one dragging him downtown for child support and he'll have to fight to have his rights. Dr John should have pointed that out as well. So often women weaponize the kids

[@Lavitamia]

Something’s not right when well-meaning advice to a pregnant woman is to get a second job in addition to her full time work.

[@bettywith2girls]

EXACTLY! Thank you! I thought that was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e advice, that when she is feeling her worst and is the sickest, in her 1st trimester...she should increase her hours and/or get a 2nd full-time job?! Unsafe for her and for the baby. Dumbest advice I've ever heard, I'm sorry.

[@claireh8125]

I mean it’s what would be the best for the baby, he’s even paying for her to get coaching. But maybe if she lets her baby daddy help maybe she doesn’t have to get a second shift

[@ediegal1009]

He clearly asked that as a wake up call.

[@m.i.n.d.y]

Getting married to someone she barely knows as soon as a baby is involved could quickly be one mistake that leads to another. They could end up having a great marriage or they could end up being great parents who are not romantically involved. Both possibilities are valid options and they should feel free to choose what is best for them. Either way, it sounds like this child will have two loving parents and that is what matters the most. I wish them the best and I hope they get the support they need

[@debasishraychawdhuri]

I am not convinced that the child will have two loving parents, the dad would be a loving parent for sure. Mom already regrets having the baby.

[@fykafunk]

Happy to hear a shout out for "Promises I Can Keep". Very informative read, I recommend that book to everyone.

[@anyagee9467]

She doesn't seem to be into him.

[@Leipuanani]

I know! She should not have let him into her!

[@simba8665]

How do you open your legs to someone you are not into? Mind bugles me thinking sex has no consequences

[@vaska1999]

​@@simba8665 A lot of girls have really poor boundaries.

[@Stranger_Than_Fiction299]

Dads that are pro active and participatory with thier kids are SO necesary and needed! (talking as someone whose father was mostly MIA) Hes taking initiative, this guy is head and shoulders more manly than so many. If its at all possible to give him a chance to work it out with you and the baby mom, please do it. Mad respect to you, DAD! Mom, best wishes to you and the new arrival, I hope everything works out for the new family!

[@blackgurldaily4055]

When she made that long “yeah” after John said she’s about to be a single mom that told me everything I needed to know.

[@czarna.slask87]

I was in the same situation 3 years ago. I also thought I don't him... We are together. 2nd baby on the way. Staying with him mostly because of the kids at the moment.... There were good times bad times... He is a good person in general but he does not understand me and my feelings and I don't understand him. It is really hard. There's not one good answer for this situation.

[@StitchetyDoodah]

I am 43 and my oldest son is 21. He’s married and about to have his second child any second now. He’s SUPER responsible, he’s a welder in the Union and makes more money than my husband does 🤣🤣🤣. His father and I had a VERY similar start. His father and I didn’t continue our relationship because he’s honestly a jerk. BUT I have to be around him to this day because now we have grandchildren. YOU GOT TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE effectively and positively with this man whether you have a relationship or not. YOU HAVE TO PUT THE WORK IN. You can do this! Good luck 🍀.

[@kd78orangerangerpete]

You sir do a wonderful thing helping people as you do. It restores a little faith in humanity when you express your opinions and values. I was beginning to think i was the only one left with some similar opinions as you have. I beat myself up through my first marriage of 15 years trying to cope and tolerate with what was going on. I wish i knew of you back then but it was what i thought in the end. I guess i just needed someone to tell me that back then. It would have at least helped mentally i think because i had nobody. Things are great today however. I got with the one ive wanted for 20+ years. 😊

[@jossamar]

Seriously, don't do the deed if you can't see yourself dealing with that person long-term. It's just not worth the risk.

[@cathykearns2147]

Also, please check into your company’s policy for maternity leave. Every employer is different and working through issue this early will help you have peace of mind as baby time gets closer.

[@MissusTayIor]

You’d rather be a single mom???? This is a real man. Stop looking for all the feels and choose the man who wants what’s best for your child because this isn’t about you anymore.

[@zeroounce8874]

Exactly. She got a guy who wants to be a man, a husband and to take care of his child. Girl, you can’t find any better than that. This guy is responsible.

[@ecase727]

I was 19 and had been dating my girlfriend 22 for about 4 months. We broke up and I moved to take a new job. About 5 months later I was living 1500 miles away feeling a bit lonely and reached out to her. She came to visit and we picked up like nothing had changed, 2 months later she told me she had missed her period. We were both scared to death. Marriage and family had never crossed my mind, but my dad raised us boys to know what a man’s responsibilities are. So I stepped up and married her before the baby was born and we will figure it out. Last week we celebrated our 43 wedding anniversary, 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren. and I would not change a thing. He wants to be there with you, not just for you. Let him and you will figure it out.

[@IAmTamiGirl]

How are we still having a suprise pregnancy in 2024?? Like we know what causes this

[@galaxythree4653]

Surprise pregnancies happen even when precautions are taken. Unless the sexually active partners are sterile, surprises are possible by various means. Life happens in the best planned circumstances.

[@geometerfpv2804]

​@@galaxythree4653Nonsense. People are daft about it. They expect the pill or IUD to work magic and they don't pull out. Pulling out is already incredibly effective if you're not a dummy...then you add a pill or IUD to that, and it is pragmatically impossible to get pregnant. All this stuff about "I spilled a little.on her leg and BAM" is complete nonsense. Don't put the fluid up in there and it won't happen, it doesn't take a freakin' genius.

[@simba8665]

@@galaxythree4653 always prove religious folks right. No sex before marriage

[@galaxythree4653]

@@simba8665First I would need to believe in marriage to make your statement true. Maybe that is the way you feel. Life happens, then we need to be responsible for our own part in those decissions. Yes sex comes with responsibilities. Maybe that is the lesson, not NO sex before marriage. Maybe don't have random sex. She is lucky he is behaving like a stand up guy.

[@midnightblue117]

@@galaxythree4653 Only when uneducated, reckless, and impulsive people don’t want to use it correctly.😂

[@neisci]

I think you owe the child to put some effort into it. With so many fathers walking away from their children lives, you want a man that wants to stay. Walk this line with a therapist so whatever decision you make, you do it with peace of mind. Being a broke single mother is a life sentence not in heaven. "Support system " often disappears once the baby is here. Don't count on them. If they stick around great, if they don't...ohh well. Be ready for whatever.

[@simba8665]

This is America, don't expect too much from the humans here

[@juniorgod321]

“ I don’t know him very well, but I had no problems about opening my legs up to him!” 🤪🤪🤪

[@themadbassist]

Lmao right!! 😂

[@seosam652]

It’s so strange!! I can’t believe people sleep with people that they barely know!!

[@LuxeByLo]

Speak on it!!!!!

[@sherryford667]

Very true, but the man doesn't get a free pass either. It's time for him to man up.

[@rz8753]

Yes lol it’s so odd 😂 like girl you know how babies and sex work .

[@marlene1708]

Very good advice, hope she can take it to heart. Getting to know this person, put the romantic portion aside. Romantic things can grow over time.

[@vkp00]

While it might be an unpopular opinion, rushing into a relationship raises valid concerns. Despite time constraints and doing things out of order, diving headfirst with someone she barely knows is risky. What if this "perfect" guy isn't what he seems? Commendably, he steps up, but with only one prior (abusive) relationship as experience, what if she mistakes non-abusiveness for "perfection"? As Dr. John suggests, they should focus on communication, planning, budgeting, counseling, and dating. Taking a step back will allow her to see what type of person he is when things become really stressful. It also allows her to see what type of people he surrounds himself with and how he treats other people. Don't continue to make life changing decisions without thorough consideration and effort.

[@Ciera_Banks]

Exactly!!! I was thinking this as well. I don’t think this guy is worth it, if he was he wouldn’t have LEFT HER in the first place. He legit left and wanted nothing to do with her. He just wants the baby. Doesn’t care about her. I think he’ll try to take the baby one day imo. I wouldn’t trust it. Could be a huge mistake. They can co-parent, absolutely, both in the life but I do NOT think they should try to be a couple. Sounds like bad news bears.

[@alexis_253]

My “baby daddy” wants to be in my child’s life but he was abusive and cruel to me throughout the majority of our relationship. I broke things off when I found out I was pregnant because I knew there was no way I could raise a child with someone who treated me the way he did, for fear of him treating the baby the same way or continuing to abuse me in front of the baby. You don’t need to tell me that I should have left him before pregnancy. I already know that. But what I’m saying is that just because the guy wants to be all in, doesn’t mean you should welcome it. Many people in the comments are saying otherwise which is crazy to me. I think it’s better for a child to grow up in a loving home with a single parent vs parents who won’t be able to model a healthy relationship for the child.

[@rosamaundallen1035]

People need to quit having casual sex with each other and call it dating. That is not dating. It is just two people having sex. She questions whether or not she should try to have a relationship with him now that she is pregnant but have no problems being sexually loose with her body. People are dumb, backwards, and have no morals.

[@Heavens-Humanaterian-Army]

Most people have no good role modles or strick parenting to make them be programded to think in a conservative.

[@chrisgrace81]

You don’t know him well but you engaged in a life altering activity!! Moms and dads, teach your children well

[@StyleandGrace08]

This happened to me We dated 6 months and then broke up I learned 2 weeks later I was pregnant We got back together 2 years later we got married Married 11 years so far…. That’s key - we waited 2 years…..didn’t want to run too fast This guy sounds solid enough to explore it. At least 5 years from now you will know you tried.

[@Carla-hl3fm]

John, you set her up as BEST as you can! That was awesome! ❤

[@alexmusso]

The guy sounds like a good man, someone who actually steps up to the plate amidst tough seasons, not one who backs out when the going gets tough like a lot of people nowadays. Sounds like you both can work on being one, seeking a common goal and not going 2 paths, and on communicating. Obviously, this is an example of why you don't sleep with people you're not married to, but that ship has sailed already. At this point, they need to consider the future of the new person they created, and it would appear that can be a future altogether with some effort on both parts.

[@babsblan]

That's why marriage is supposed to come before sex.

[@mlokole254]

People seem to think that that is just a way of keeping them from the good stuff! If only they knew its for their benefit

[@Nikitajade08]

But they don’t listen 😭

[@paigenicholespeaks6172]

FACTS

[@gregnagy7569]

Nope, sexual incompatibility will destroy an otherwise strong marriage. Please don't suggest this is a male perspective.....I gave the same advice to my daughter.

[@MissBlueEyeliner]

@@gregnagy7569I’m a woman. I’ve been in straight relationships, turns out I’m gay. Imagine if I married one of them without having slept with them. My life would be miserable. And marriage is NOT the end goal for a lot of relationships. I’m glad you gave your daughter that advice.

[@j.d.7569]

Adoption is a great option…so many people would love to raise your baby.

[@j.d.7569]

Sacred selection adoptions….check it out!!

[@funicon3689]

assuming she's white yes

[@Grace-rx7cv]

I mean the outcomes on adoptive children's rates of drug addictions, incarceration ect is similar to that of children that grow up in single parent households. I have so many friends who were adopted into seemingly "good" wealthy and intact families and they all struggle with addictions, depression ans chronic feelings of disconectedness, emptiness and rejection. Knowing their birth parents gave them away, even if they did it because they felt it was in the child's best interest. The adoptive parents often struggle to connect as a birth parent would have because they don't have the oxytocin bonding hormone that is flooding a mother system during labor, after birth and breastfeeding. There really isn't any "good" option here, just lots of hard roads forward. This woman is 13 or 14 years old, she is 20 and there's a decent chance she can make a good go of this.

[@zoenicholson1776]

@@funicon3689 that’s not true and extremely racist.

[@MARYREED-nh7gb]

I believe that the mother can have an open adoption as well, where she is in the baby's life.

[@Nickbronline]

Doesn't want to raise a child in a broken home but shuts down the idea of being with the father of her child despite him being a good guy? You can't make this up.

[@AlannahGardener]

Why should she settle with a man she doesn't like just because he's a good guy? They can coparent together without being romantically involved

[@Nickbronline]

@@AlannahGardener Because it isn’t about her anymore. It’s about the child. At least attempt to make it work.

[@AlannahGardener]

@@Nickbronline Children don't need their parents to be romantically involved to have a good life. In fact they will have a better time with 2 parents happy seperately than they will with the parents together but miserable

[@Nickbronline]

@@AlannahGardener I agree, however that isn’t the case here. Watch the video again.

[@nt3833]

But if they divorce they will have a broken home.

[@CatalinaFOIA]

She better hang onto him or she will regret it.

[@cammiebaby]

I wish there was some one like him in my life when I was young and pregnant.... He blessed her and is trying to help set her up for the future. She such a blessing. ❤

[@Zelfal]

The man found out she was was pregnant and was like i should step up and be there for her and most likely his child. Thats a man thats worth reevaluating a relationship for working different shifts thats actually better for a family if the mother would like to work outside of the home but the fact he is making so much effort means that he wants to take responsibility for both u and child. honestly sounds like a pretty swell guy to be willing to provide, u guys messed around and now u have a child on the way, communication comes with time relationship has both ppl knowing everything about one another.

[@enaibee1661]

I think the same

[@motorboater211]

They don’t have to get married but that guy 100% gets to be apart of that kids life. Dude wants to step up and that baby deserves to know her dad

[@traveler320ak7]

Things should sloooooow way down. If you don’t Love this man DO NOT move in with him.

[@Jeremy-wp4yh]

Too late for that. Children need a father

[@alexis_253]

I totally agree with you! Seems to be the unpopular opinion we have! I would not force a relationship that isn’t meant to be because that will affect the baby negatively, not positively! They can coparent and each be a part of the baby’s life. I don’t like how she’s being told to go against her gut.

[@BobbaFett312]

4:05 "i dont know him very well", good enough to have his kid... smh

[@mikethemechanic7395]

20 year old single mom. Bad decisions. She will ruin her child’s life. I met my wife at 25. We did not marry till 32. Kids by 37. We made sure our marriage was strong and we owned a house and had good jobs before kids. I saw a lot of fellow friends have kids 18-23. They all divorce by 25 and the kids have different dads like a roulette wheel. My brother got his college gf knocked up her last year of college. Tried to stay with her to make it work. Lasted 1 year. The mom had 2 different kids with different dads. My nephew actually survived and married at 27. Just had a child 1 year ago. He made sure he did not make the same mistake as his mom. I tell my 11 year olds about bad decisions with teens getting pregnant..

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

Yes when the baby is born you will need each other - all 3 of you , God bless ❤❤❤

[@carolethomas9808]

You have a good support system til they get tired of it.

[@TeviaRocks]

If you don’t want to be a single mom and don’t want to get married… consider adoption

[@rarebird_82]

Or abortion, jeez cant believe Baloney didnt even explore this option, instead of railroading this girl into ruining her life before it starts 🙄

[@geometerfpv2804]

​@@rarebird_82She's already pretty far along

[@mf8125]

@@rarebird_82yeah I don't like that he put his religious views above all and doesn't even bring it up.

[@penthousewhippit]

@@rarebird_82seriously! Why is that never discussed as an option when it's clearly the best option for her in this case. She already sounds suicidal just talking about this

[@Black_Samurai-fish]

She should definitely give the baby for adoption or to the father but she’s an idiot. She doesn’t need a kid.

[@abeal49]

working different shifts is great for new parents; it saves a fortune on childcare. I can't believe she thinks it's a problem. He's a good guy and he's stepping up. Men like that are actually hard to find.

[@abeal49]

@RocketMomma-ig5tt right. That's why this guy sounds like a keeper he wants them to live together

[@kizzykiz]

I meticulously planned out both my pregnancies and still struggled with the unexpected things and difficulties that come along with raising children. I can’t imagine how harder it can get when you’re young and not married to the father of your child. I wish her the very best and I hope this guy will at least be a positive influence on the child and be a good co-parent.