We Discovered The Weirdest Thing On The Internet | The Yard

[@malloriebiron5918]

They should get Drew Gooden as a guest, but not tell Anthony to see if he can recognize him.

[@nicolaserrazuriz4]

Drew Goonen

[@kabiedotjpg5683]

​@@nicolaserrazuriz4that's how I read it too

[@isaacspears2218]

Nah they should get danny Gonzalez and call him drew the whole time and slime would believe it

[@EffigyOfficial]

Best idea ever

[@ponge2800]

​@@isaacspears2218thats probably true

[@CBD_Shawarma]

Adding The Goon Comnder to the list of yard bits that made me laugh harder than I have in a while but will NEVER be able to explain to someone. 1. Bruce the dog 2. Adult only child pagents 3. The Goon Comander

[@chrish1349]

throw breslyn on there

[@Tyr808]

When he said "Home Ec and Shop" I started fucking crying, this bit went so hard

[@lucashuck7465]

Add to that list the integrators > into graters > into graders bit in the patreon leak a year ago (about 38 mins in) that completely destroyed Nick and Lud for a few minutes.

[@CBD_Shawarma]

@@lucashuck7465 real eyes realize real lies

[@brysonberan2505]

​@@chrish1349Breslyn was a Legend, not a bit

[@Chris_M5]

Just wanted to comment about the Great Wall of China part because it’s frustrating that Ludwig is *technically* right while Aiden is so much more correct. Realistically, the wall was started in 770 BC and finished in 206 BC. The next 1500 years or so was spent maintaining and rebuilding the wall. When the Mongols took over China, the wall started to weather. When the Chinese took back China, they did a lot of repairs and even expanded the wall to its largest size. Now I could understand an argument that the end of the Ming Dynasty is when the wall was finished, even though really they were adding on and fixing an already finished project, BUT THIS WAS STOPPED IN 1644. After the Ming fell, the wall saw no real expansion, just repairs and reconstruction. To argue the wall was finished in the 1800s or 1900s is to argue that the Eiffel Tower is still being built because it gets new steel and paint every seven years. Just because they rebuilt some defensive sections and fixed some big holes doesn’t mean they “finished” the wall. Part of me knows I’m arguing this because I hate Ludwig being thinking he’s right after the North Macedonia thing, but the idea that this ancient wall is modern is an absurd thing to believe.

[@jaguarjagan9733]

bro i respect u so much

[@mirandacosgrove2824]

Nerd

[@ricochico1144]

​@@jaguarjagan9733same, didn't know how to express it but I think this is how I feel

[@xylon7333]

yeah youre absolutely right. I went and pulled up the article google pushed and the parts of the qing dynasty mentioned are just repairs and new towers etc. The "Great wall of china" constructed in modern thought was mostly by the ming, like you mentioned, 200 years before the opium wars would break out

[@SquirellsRJustUmamiMagpies]

But if it was before the opium wars, wouldn't the people who decided to build the wall have possibly/probably been smoking opium already? It's existence was know already in order for their to be wars over it correct? Or did opium smoking not become popular until later???

[@kekyoin1261]

theres NO way they didn't know about gooning before this. the yard set is a goon cave.

[@BuffiestFluff]

These guys and forehead fables hit so many similar or identical topics insanely frequently. Lmao

[@antlerbraum2881]

Slimes definitely a gooner

[@kidgquiff]

​@@BuffiestFluffhonestly surprised there more cross over fans than me ahahaha

[@BuffiestFluff]

@@kidgquiff we in it

[@tflame6080]

"Taylor Swift's penis will be preserved in a jar in the pyramids" is a sentence that nobody has ever imagined before this podcast

[@Benjammn]

Same for "Ludwig's Matryoshka Sarcophagus Extravaganza" but here we are. 😂

[@rxcmxrt]

new sentence just dropped

[@0kd]

huge episode for gooners

[@EddieUsername]

had to pause the porn playing on all 17 of my monitors and rewind to make sure I was hearing slime correctly when he first said it

[@jacobmorgan1438]

Stand proud, brothers 🫡

[@looneylex_]

Unironically loved listening the lads talk about the Taylor Swift concert like some sort of heavily RNG based boss fight that could ruin a speedrun

[@holdy_baby3612]

its like in moon where you can only have an optimal easter egg run if the excavator goes to tunnel 6 and its rng based

[@chickenpermission4909]

@@holdy_baby3612 you better pray that’s the Richthofen in your group has good coms

[@Twelvesnakes]

Swifties are fucking wild and so parasocial.

[@looneylex_]

@@holdy_baby3612 we need a summoning salt video on Taylor Swift Eras Tour

[@Bighomie39]

​@looneylex_ the Speak Now Ultra Shortcut is crazy. What you have to is yell, "CURSE OF RA" on any frame of Dear John that is a multiple of 21, and it'll activate the John Mayer boss fight early, instead of having to wait through the song as usual. As for why it's on every 21st frame, you need to imagine a bus full of Swifties that comes every 21 frames. Anyways, after activating Early John, you need to play All Too Well (Taylor's Version) (Ten Minute Version) at 4x speed (because Red is her 4th album). This will cause an instakill of John, thereby also skipping Taylor needing to learn the power of self-respect and killing John in a very strange homage to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Finally, you need to play Famous by Kanye West backwards to summon the newly revived Yeezombies from the scrapped "Kanye Quest" route. The triggering of the Yeezombies, combined with the Early John Kill, will then entirely break the logic of the game, causing the concert to skip from Speak Now in the "True Swiftie" route to the end of the "Taylor's Version" route (essentially the bad ending), in which Taylor Swift rerecords the lives of every American citizen, thereby brainwashing them to be eternally loyal to Taylor Swift, who herself has just been crowned as the new Swiftsiah. Needless to say, this skip cut a lot of time off the run. As of right now, Matty Turk and healy317 compete for the record, and are two of the few Eras Tour players to have mastered the Ultra Shortcut.

[@Fennecfoxgurl]

Girl dinner actually started as the 'gremlin scrounge for myself don't wana cook or order' meal and then some people took it in the eating disorder direction but it's mostly just like 'I had cake and grapes for dinner'

[@Cm0N.]

*shows those bouncy balls you get from coin machines* girl dinner

[@PicassosCat]

Boy dinner is pizza we found in the trash that hasn't touched anything dirty yet

[@macin6931]

​@@PicassosCatnah we eat one of the homies (democratic decision)

[@abblebea3647]

Yeah, honestly its so sad to see how it got misinterpreted. I thought it was a fun little jokey joke but ppl took it WAYY too seriously and started adding in their pills and shit 💀

[@Kyleand3rror]

@@PicassosCat from what Ive seen boy dinner is more about impossibly large portions rather than the goblin energy of girl dinner

[@zachvinson4847]

Slime at 27:25 Saying you came huh as the goo commander was so under appreciated. Only Aimen responded

[@maddyoyakawa]

36:12 “girl dinner” started out as like scraping together anything you had but ppl turned into “haha look how much i dont eat”

[@acrimonyy]

I always saw it as "look at my weird choices that can hardly be classified as a meal"

[@acrimonyy]

Also how tf are you that far into the pod it was uploaded literal minutes ago 💀

[@maddyoyakawa]

@@acrimonyy listened to the audio yesterday 😭

[@acrimonyy]

​@@maddyoyakawaoh based

[@Blocko_Boi]

Alternatively boy dinner is scouring the fridge eating as much deli meat and viscera until full

[@jasonjavelin]

We all salute the Goon Commander 🫡

[@bizzleboy240]

Indeed good sir

[@yaboixxiti]

All hail goon 🫡

[@DinGo365]

🫡

[@xGNEPx]

🫡

[@grimeycranberry]

🫡

[@SafeHawke]

I can't believe Nick and Aiden went to break out Lud and Slime from Covid Island, found them dead and somehow revived them just to continue the podcast. Find out more on the premium

[@Bighomie39]

They revived them by gooning. The raw goon energy was able to bring Lud and Slime back from the dead

[@MAJ0ROCEL0T]

​@@Bighomie39No you see, they had been Gooning which game them the power of life but they had to nut in them to give them enough life energy to come back. And due to this sacrifice Slime decided to take up the mantle and become the Good Commander. It's honestly such a noble sacrifice those two made.

[@99geckoenthusiast43]

Can't wait for the goon sesh with Aiden pateron goal.

[@pT5xRebELZz]

No way you guys been making goatsy jokes for the past 2 years and it took you this long to discover gooning

[@Dmc225]

Goon Commander is an incredible development. The bits about Aiden's dad and the chum bucket back to back legitimately had me tearing up laughing

[@ZaynomR]

this genuinely has to be the most VILE episode yet. Gagged multiple times. 10/10

[@seana3918]

Idk I still get grossed out from the dog fucking episode.

[@graindeath]

its interesting how different peoples baselines can be because i watched this one while eating

[@zoid4258]

Just wanna clarify, "Thích Quảng Đức", the monk who self immolated 100% did not survive just a heads up. I know it was a joke but a lot of people don't know any of that history. Definitely worth looking into if you don't know about it.

[@wesleyhills5325]

I'm pretty sure they put him out and gave him a blunt and Seinfeld

[@ToppFic88]

Listening to QT deny the COD Zombie lore resemblance to all the TSwift easter eggs. Then to have Nick immediately "Ahhh" validating the theory as soon as Lud brings it up is so funny.

[@desmondhume]

i do love it when a basic concept of feminism like famous women having an expiration date is unearthed on the yard. so magical 💖

[@kabiedotjpg5683]

It's like watching a baby discover that they have feet.

[@Amelia-ge7uz]

being part of the 4% is crazy

[@trashtrash2169]

In the same episode as the introduction of the goon commander. This will surely be a historic moment.

[@habala3135]

that's what adrenochrome is for. The Swifties will offer theirs willingly.

[@desmondhume]

@@habala3135 anything for my goat

[@matthewclinton3338]

I love how the jokes in each episode have started to reflect which ancient civilization docuseries slime is currently watching on Nebula

[@aethn7576]

"girl dinner" is just putting together a random assortment of food, enough to make a gratifying meal. unfortunately it got hijacked by people with eating disorders showcasing how little they eat (which should not be applauded)

[@wumbojet]

The first time I saw the term "girl dinner" someone posted a tub of mayo, one cracker and a pack of cigarettes

[@beepboop_watches]

for example, my girl dinner last night was chips n guac, some leftover fried rice and 2 dill pickles! a lot of girl dinners revolve around 1. fridge cleanouts, so leftovers or meals that only have a few ingredients and 2. little to no prep work so things like cheese and crackers, buttered noodles, hummus and veg, etc etc

[@rxcmxrt]

yeah, the original one that I saw was like a pack of cheese, olives, an entire jar of pickles, peanut butter, and halo top with a kombucha and starbucks

[@SC2TiMeLorD]

Girls should not be fat

[@rxcmxrt]

@@SC2TiMeLorD when you die you will be forgotten swiftly and willfully

[@Marxsenpai]

Nick's most brilliant moment was saying "In the world?" when Lud said "it's the 19th city."

[@1simp695]

nah, it was when slime said "did you not have intuition?" amd nick goes "Yeah, I went to school"

[@JanetRobinson-xe1tg]

Great to have the gang back together! Have to say at some points during this episode I was laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe. Just want to comment about the women singers that grow old and fade away. Many of them do but there are some like Cher and Dolly Parton who became classics. It’s much harder for women to stay relevant and maintain a strong base. Taylor Swift is a phenom so she may just fade away some day. Love the mini croc on the croc. Have a great weekend guys, - Janet

[@Kyleand3rror]

someone botted janet?

[@Carly135991]

I work in auto insurance and made 15 liability decisions to the incredible content of 4 men talking about gooning.

[@collinwade]

I already can tell the ep is gonna be a classic

[@themelk0r21]

Whenever I’m about to bust I can hear the goon commander whisper in my ear “stay your hand solider”

[@agustinmorandini1115]

I didn't really understood ASMR until I heard slime's goon commander. It evoked such negative feelings upon myself that I can only hope the reverse exists.

[@msteerie]

Girl Dinner did not start as "oh I'm barely eating anything" it started as "hey I don't need to put so much effort into my meals everyday". Girl Dinner is eating what you have around, some cheeses, some bread, some leftovers, etc etc. Girl Dinner was not originally "oh I'm eating two cucumber slices" but that is what it slowly became. Girl Dinner is a Charcuterie Board, it will fill you but its not something you had to assemble or put effort into

[@yukiNmori]

I have girl breakfast Two slices of banana bread and a coffee

[@lancelaurel3828]

Charcuterie boards are literally assembled with effort

[@msteerie]

@@lancelaurel3828 yeah I didn't know how to give good examples for it 10 months ago. But I still think my point still stands about its original definition & what it later became.

[@lancelaurel3828]

@@msteerie I get ur point hehe no worries my friend I agree

[@ADDERALLJESUS]

Slime knowing what gooning is and not knowing what a polycule is is so funny

[@JaimieWFYT]

In the Slime cinematic universe, Goon commander might be the funniest and best executed character he’s ever done. Bravo to him and Miles

[@TheDragonl_]

Watching Luds pant go further and further up and eventually turning into Jhorts was really entertaining !

[@coneg2714]

on the Curse of Ra stuff, I needed to send the copypaste to friends recently and the top result is the Know Your Meme page. Got stunlocked trying to grab it there because a section in Curse of Ra History is about Slime using it on Magi after she won Combo Breaker

[@ResidualSol]

Goon commander is a top 10 all time yard bit. Actually cried laughing at the commander coming back for the taylor lore drop

[@chainsmoker34]

Dude, the fact that my favorite streamer Supertf learned about gooning this week, and then I get my weekly yard ep, where they learn about gooning. What the coincidence

[@aedion4901]

i hoped they were gonna talk about him lol

[@elanormotherman5401]

Seeing B. Dave Walters, undisputed Baron of the Valley, cheering for Aidens Valo round is surreal. Hope you are able to upload the short film, sounds genuinely sick.

[@Adam-zd5mf]

of the valley?

[@steegen101]

they gotta get someone from Dimension 20 on the pod

[@BlueTurn]

Lmao gooning is such an insane thing funny to see yall learn about it.

[@chilicheesehotdogs3930]

1:08:11 slime refers to his phone as a joy thief still which is very cool and fun

[@ETK_]

1:19:10-1:19:22 seeing Aiden’s facial expressions kills me every time 😂

[@KillerTacos54]

God I love Slime. His Goon Commander bit is one of his best yet

[@lol85007]

Ludwig gets in accident auto play this episode and all I hear is "We worried you got in an accident" from a year ago

[@edgartinoco9572]

I’m not even 5 seconds only the video but I know from the title this will be my favorite episode

[@capriciousstudent]

In my favorite salvia trip video (which is no longer online), two brothers take a huge bong rip of salvia on their front stoop, and proceed to collapse to the ground like family guy characters in real life

[@iDr3aM]

When I was in high school, my friends and me smoked salvia. My experience was that the pixar-like lamp in the corner of the room turned into the claw from toy story and carried my friends away one by one while putting them into a filing cabinet and I knew whole-heartedly that after my friends were gone, it would do the same to me and I would permanently be stuck in this state of mania and my friends would have to explain to my parents that I was smoking this legal drug and the claw got me. My friend turned into a piece of garbage in a kitchen garbage bag and a woman opened the lid to add more garbage and he was thankful that he could see the entire world and all of its beauty. She closed the lid and he got super upset and called her a bitch. Then some aliens came and told him he's the chosen one and has to come learn the secrets to save humanity, but he can only take one thing with him. He was sitting on a blanket and tried to pull it out of the couch cushions but it was jammed in, so he started crying because he "failed humanity" because he couldn't bring the blanket with him. My other friend turned into lego and thought it was raining lego-eating-acid so he didn't have a good time at all and it mostly consisted of screaming and crying like he was being burned alive.

[@skeletonizer7512]

Cant wait for them to join the GoonSMP ! 🤩

[@pezjerk]

it died with mr toasten still in it Sad day for humanity

[@sebas31415]

@@pezjerkit became better with Mr. toasten.

[@LeonMassey]

Can't wait for the starcraft 2 mod where all the Terran voice lines are replaced with the goon commander

[@capitalgoldgoblin6474]

The Goon Commander bit made me laugh so hard every time

[@PearTree-n4j]

Aiden pulling up his shorts is like when you push up the feathers on an owl to reveal it has long and skinny legs

[@mistermistery4097]

25:05 The synchronized reaction got me good

[@senanrutgers-kearns3396]

Viking Funeral Trick Shots | Dude Perfect (RIP Cody)

[@720logan2]

hearing slime say totsugeki was an out of body experience

[@Kevinofrepublic]

As a long time Castle Super Beast listener it's wild to hear literally anyone on The Yard talk about FGC. I know they're melee boys but, it's wild to hear them talk FGC outside of melee. I also wasn't expecting to hear Slime say The Backyard or Sol Badguy

[@kuza4722]

girl dinner is like one frozen waffle, leftover pizza slice, baby carrots and handfuls of spinach

[@xenobytes]

this is definitely my most favorite episode of sleep deprived podcast

[@moogle6001]

Ludwig: I'm 6ft tall, on god fr. Also Ludwig: You have to swim in the onsen

[@AlexH089]

the goon renaissance is making me realise liva was ahead of their time with geekygoonsquad

[@kaptainkowalski]

Legitimately one of the best episodes ever

[@Bighomie39]

I found myself getting increasingly confused the longer Ludwig's story about the TS concert went on. It really did feel like a COD Zombies easter egg Edit: forgot to mention this, but the part about QT watching a livestream of the concert every single night, as well as that stream putting up Jerma viewer counts, had me flabbergasted.

[@brassbiscuit]

Shoutout to Folkeric for the streams

[@birthdaygiraffe8802]

God every time Slime did the gooning voice I was laughing AUDIBLY

[@rewpbertt]

that cashapp ad read had off camera gun point with the teleprompter queue cards saying NO BARGE NO COMMANDER NO FLUIDS

[@fain5722]

For my records, this is the viking funeral ep

[@averygallegos8843]

Finding gooning on your own I think makes you the master chief

[@kaydenbush]

This might be the funniest episodes in a while. Commander Gooner is my favourite one off character

[@uhohstinky1234]

I love the Sleep Deprived Podcast

[@bluewuppo]

Apandah did WHAT in this episode?!?

[@JojoDigitalArtist]

59:37 "She is so famous to have known chants at her concert" ...looks at literally any asian pop group that's been doing this for years...

[@berrytheboom]

crazy how they thought girl dinner was originally a meal to stay thin, girl dinner is just throwing together side dishes or things you find around the kitchen to eat, and some people started using it to show their tiny meals.

[@calko248]

goon commander may shamefully be my favourite bit for a long time

[@KurtMage]

Re: Guilty Gear, since it wasn't mentioned, a lot of the naming is hard rock/metal references. Axl Low is named after Axl Rose, Sol Badguy's name comes from a nickname of Freddie Mercury, and Slayer is named after, well, Slayer. The Koopalings in Mario are similarly named after musicians, albeit, they don't do anything thematically in that vein, while Guilty Gear has a very in-your-face hard rock aesthetic. From a "death of the author" perspective, I'd agree that it's not really my style, but the thing that makes it feel funnier to me is that it is this way b/c it was created by a japanese game developer who REALLY loved western hard rock music, and much of its aesthetic, and decided to make a game that combines that with anime.

[@krispy12]

I never thought that I'd be able to explain why they're called "Puka Dogs" on the internet, but basically puka is pidgin for hole. That's why the bun is a cylinder, making it a hole dog

[@maylyd859]

Slime's aggressive manspreading this ep really sets the stage for the goon commander

[@Krinios]

this is in my opinion the most ep of The Yard of all time

[@shottyjonny3972]

Goon Commander is such a good bit thank you slime for the premium slop

[@cheetosher]

random auto play, just hours after lud got in an accident. glad hes okay

[@ruby_img]

these men will never understand girl dinner

[@Bholmstrom_]

Slime's goon bit is one of the funniest things I've heard

[@SarcasticGoose]

Half way through this episode, I'm so excited to send this to any women in my life, I'm sure this will be relatable and educational for them :)

[@Bighomie39]

We need to up the recruitment on girl gooners

[@Aziraly]

The monk burning alive in the Rage Against the Machine cover absolutely died. He was protesting the treatment of monks in Vietnam

[@NovaWolff69]

Goon commander has got to be one of my favorite things ever

[@DarkBiCin]

Did the 48 hours film fest in high school. Did 2 years back to back with the same crew. Was an absolute blast. The first year was super rough but the second year we were super motivated and ended up 2nd best which felt so amazing for just doing something random with friends

[@willow990]

Supertf and the yard entering the goonverse at the same time is awesome

[@themudkip5295]

"the quest to beat the Goon Commander" is one of those yard jokes that is impossible to explain how FUNNY it is to someone who doesnt watch

[@mattmoyer925]

Dude it’s so funny because Sol bad guy is literally the main character of the game and not a bad guy at all

[@youngrootv]

Between this and Supertf I’ve learned about the intricacies of gooning against my will

[@katjosephperez8772]

AbbyBagel said she’s teach Slime how to swim? That’s so sweet and wholesome, and I spent all of yesterday listening to true crime, so now I’m crying at the wholesomeness

[@KobytheHero]

The dissonance it takes for Slime to like Metal Gear and not appreciate the camp all throughout Guilty Gear is insane to me

[@skyeeva9858]

Thats not GIRL DINNER its supposed to be a non-meal that you fill yourself with when you dont feel like making a proper meal, the ones that you see thats very little food is people with EDs and not what is originally meant by girl dinner ! Girl dinner is like having a whole charcuterie board but you just eat from the package type thing

[@oCloudy]

Hey Yard just wanna let you know: The Mint mobile link is not working. I was interested if there was a discount or something.

[@ex_archiv]

Everyone cheering for aiden is so evangelion coded

[@Bighomie39]

Does this imply that Aiden is gonna goon in the hospital?

[@isaac.merback]

slimes goon character is my favorite new thing

[@BadAce1508]

The goon commander has to stick around!!!! The guys are great at doing these improv bits!!!! Also why is the pod name different on Spotify?

[@JaimieWFYT]

The KZbin video needs a more tempting title, and the 2 intro clips for engagement. Just playing towards the strengths of different platforms

[@danielhearne5742]

Will we ever get to see the short film? Sounds like a great video!

[@CasmirByrne]

Goon commander is actually the funniest character ive ever heard

[@MICHELANGELO_JR.]

I wish Slime explained to Nick that Sol Badguy is of course, the main good guy in Guilty Gear 😂

[@asaistudios]

R/gooncaves this is a crazy sleep deprived podcast moment

[@usermnm1104]

"I'm Rick'ed-often" is CRAZY 🔥🔥

[@firewolf11567]

Definitely the best episode so far

[@daltonbutcher1015]

I’m 30 seconds in and they’re all sitting the exact same way, banger ep incoming😎

[@traw6360]

The goon commander makes me laugh every time 😂

[@sunnyd1722]

I think the Goon Commander is one of the best they’re made

[@dreairhead8857]

I like saying “I’m going to be in Paris around 9/11”, and not just “in September”

[@OBAJ27]

1:02:50 unnoticed nick joke "they had hash there?" had me fucking rolling