We Haven’t Had Sex in 3 Years (How Do We Reconnect?)

We Haven’t Had Sex in 3 Years (How Do We Reconnect?)
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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[@julsandhan]

There is no way I'd let my husband work himself to death while I stayed home. We have taken pay cuts when his job demands were hurting him, our marriage, and our home life. It was the best decision we have probably ever made.

[@Rob-fn1kp]

yep........no surprise who the toxic one in this relationship is. Dude should have nipped this in the bud when it first started though- the signs are ALWAYS there

[@BHarris25]

I got fired from a great paying job in July and my stay at home wife got a job and ironically we’ve never been happier even though our income has been cut in half.

[@rachelgee7894]

Yes. I'd rather be poor and have a husband than rich without one.

[@Rob-fn1kp]

@@rachelgee7894 oud rather be poor and with a wife like this?

[@olivias2836]

Agreed. I could stay home if it was super important to me, but the amount of financial strain it would put on my husband would not be worth it. Our kids are thriving going to school/daycare while we both work because we have a healthy, stable marriage and home life. Not knocking any stay at home parents if that works for your family- but the reality is that doesn’t work for every family and the pressure and false narrative that families with stay at home parents are healthier or superior is dumb

[@ShadelessGhost]

I grew up hearing “if you don’t do your part in the relationship, someone outside will pick up your slack”. I’m hoping this dude’s situation gets resolved.

[@zachnunya8749]

Who is going to place food on the table if he stops working two jobs?

[@laurenecarter246]

@@zachnunya8749 the kids 12 years old. The wife could get a job inside school hours. What's the wife going to do when the daughter goes off to college?

[@zachnunya8749]

@@laurenecarter246 I would like the wife to work in whatever capacity she reasonably can to help make ends meet, so that he can not work two full time jobs and have time to sleep and be a father.

[@LtGrandpoobah]

I hope neither of them have found themselves in that situation of infidelity. But that would explain 3 years of involuntary celibacy.

[@atlantean1209]

Wish this Dr. would ask more questions vs talking and talking. Would be nice to know what the wife has actually said about why she doesn’t care for intimacy anymore. How can you give advice with so little information?

[@nt3833]

Are you kidding me? No one can work hours like this and be happy and healthy in any relationship or just life in general! He’s running himself into the ground and his wife is just sitting back watching it. That’s the problem that I see. Even if she doesn’t have an education she can get some type of work to relieve some of his burden. And not to mention no intimacy! I’d be curious to hear her side of things. Hope things get better for them!

[@texan903]

That woman might not be sleeping with her husband but she's sleeping with someone, possibly the same for him.

[@Tristum1970]

maybe . It’s possible where she doesn’t care about sex anymore and that happens too…. Either that or for sure she is sleeping with someone else …. No normal person would accept this situation as their life

[@wshelby83]

@ N T so true! And even if he’s working, the sex will help with stress. She should help him more by getting a job. He’s working a lot. He probably doesn’t even have time to do things that he finds fun

[@ElimEx1]

i have 2 jobs and work 85-90 hours a week. It's a great way to hide from home problems. Having said that, not all couples are compatible in that area and trying is not worth the effort and the aggravation. So they form a relationship based on the house and the kids.

[@oncetwice5942]

Just reading the title made me think, “damn that’s rough.” I couldn’t live like that in a marriage.

[@jessicadominguez1315]

Right? It's not even a marriage anymore, he's giving alimony without leaving the house.

[@nightfangs2910]

She'smonkey branching to another guy while he's working seen this many times, if you're a man in a sexless marriage you're the only one

[@macsc6112]

I would never let my husband work this much if i wasnt working myself. Its completely unloving and selfish. I'd feel like a completely bum.

[@hillarylayne8028]

What if he actually chooses that much work over her?

[@texan903]

@@hillarylayne8028 what if she has wants he feels he has to meet and she prefers he be away working?

[@Kai...999]

I'm leaning on the notion his wife is probably getting intimate with someone else and has checked out of the marriage entirely. This video has good advice and hard truths.

[@demetriuscooksey7147]

We were doing it like a couple times a year. I told her I wasn't gonna live the rest of my life without a s*x life and was leaving. She thought I was bluffing so I moved out. She was beside herself with outrage. But eventually we started talking. Then dating. We just started over. We got back together and renewed our vows. Then started a family. 3 kids and married for 26 years. Looking back, leaving her was the best decision I could have made. We both realized what we had and how much we took each other for granted. I realize it could have gone another way, but for us it worked.

[@phataton7588]

Never underestimate a good breakup to shake up the female privilege

[@Cardinal15]

We have a construction company and I work along side my husband doing whatever it takes to provide for our 3 kids.

[@marcmercado2085]

Someone is reconnecting with your wife, and it’s not you.

[@randyadams1312]

Even DR John realizes this is likely hopeless. The wife stays at home, controls the house and do any work while he works two jobs and get yelled at for trying to control his home and life. She is predatory. She reminds me of a late aunt who used my uncle, stole his money and never went back to work after a few months of leave (she could, chose not to)

[@esstong8064]

She got herself a working mule, why work if i dont have to in the expense of the husband...

[@c976061]

This is my parents

[@Tristum1970]

Agreed. I have a sinking feeling that she thinks she has it made and the last thing she wants is more of *him. He will need the either or statement. When she doesn’t agree, leave immediately and go to war legally . Because - I hate to say this - she’s declared war on him already . Allowing him to work himself to death, while she is at home …. And in control and yelling at him….. she’s declared war . And for effs sake …. Stop one of your jobs and get some rest . Otherwise it’s a death wish

[@oambitiousone7100]

Would it be different if she did all the domestic and also earned money? I’m in a marriage where he earns more, but i have always worked more. I don’t sit around all weekend, eyes glued to the TV

[@RichardLeo-mf3zb]

@@Tristum1970 Maybe she wants him dead so that she can get life insurance.

[@kc-il4sb]

A solid marrage is the foundation of the family. It really is the most wonderful gift to give your daughter. Like he said- you are worth it!

[@amyeastman8764]

3rd marriage and it’s once again not working for him. Maybe it’s time to stop getting married.

[@catslove3884]

When you have been married 3 times, you are the problem.

[@stephanied9629]

Wow.

[@markieclift2193]

​​@@TPrice-dv1yumy love, if they were all unfaithful then the one common denominator is you. Sometimes we attract the very thing we don't want. I'm not saying you deserved what you got or what they did was right, but maybe it is time to look at why YOU keep picking cheaters.

[@xdxdxdxd4575]

I immediatly thought about Ross from Friends. :D

[@SLRagen]

Times are freaking hard. I respect his work ethic. Sometimes this is just a season hopefully he and his family can get caught up and be able to have more time together.

[@probablynot1368]

I’ve not voiced this to any family or friends, as I don’t want anyone to pity us or just be grossed out. Cancer, multiple surgeries, chemo, radiation, tissue loss, and massive scarring has taken a toll on our intimate relationship. Conventional intercourse is not possible without several days of using tissue expanders prior to the ‘event’. Sometimes, the pain and bleeding caused by stretching and tearing scar tissue is too much to bear. We’ve cried, we’ve hugged, we’re working through it together. Thank goodness the ability to orgasm has been spared. After 35 years of a fulfilling relationship, we’ve had to learn to be creative in satisfying each other’s needs. It’s not what it had been - these past 5 years have been frightening at times - but is has added a new dimension to our relationship. We can’t possibly be the only couple dealing with the ravages of destroyed or failed tissue, extensive reconstruction surgery, recovery, and the permanent changes to an otherwise healthy sex life. When Dr D talks about the how important it is to have an active sex life (as when he says “burn down the house”, “melt the paint off the walls”, etc), it creates a sadness in us regarding what we had once enjoyed with spontaneous abandon, but now have to slow down, plan, and approach it much more tenderly. We had one surgeon who knew this was a difficult road ahead, and suggested it might “be better just to sew it completely shut and be done with it.”

[@kerrissedai6857]

I’m sorry that this is your journey. It sounds very difficult. I hope you and your spouse stay strong in your love and grow even closer together.

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

Looking into the eyes of another and knowing you are seen and they get you see them is 90 percent there!

[@starrjohnson1327]

Have you tried progesterone cream or oil? Many women use it as a lubricant. It can also calm the tissue in your vaginal walls

[@oregoncoastmama3004]

People don't understand this part about cancer. My sister had aml, then bone marrow transplant. She was in remission BUT the repercussion of her body fighting the transplant destroyed her. People didn't understand why she was still struggling so much. Because her body fought her transplant she lived with scleroderma, and graft versus host disease. She was always in pain. Her skin looked completely different. It attacked her organs for 12 years. She just passed away a little over a year ago because her organs shutting down among other things. It makes me soooo mad that her quality of life was not great for 12 years but selfishly im glad i got the extra 12 years with her. Anyways long story short. F@CK cancer. I'm so sorry you are going through that struggle but I do know that orgasms without penetration are great. Good for you guys not giving up on that intimacy and true love❤

[@user-es5jq6yy9l]

This is why unconditional love is important and relationships should not be based on sex

[@zachnunya8749]

Jon totally Fd up this call. The wife refuses to help pay bills. The wife refuses to engage in intimacy. The wife knows she can gripe and yell bc she has him by the balls, if he leaves he’ll still have to support her bc she has no work history for the last 12 years. He’s in a scary gloomy situation and she is utterly selfish and has zero regard for his health and wellness.

[@Nah-ah]

The wife got settled with the idea of being stay at home wife. This is something a lot of men want their women to do and then it backfires! My husband did the same and I said nah, taking 2.5 yrs off then gonna work part time, “nah nah, I’ve got this!” He didn’t. I could’ve easily just stayed home the whole time bc I did get a bit too comfortable but saw him struggling with work. I returned full time when my daughter turned 6 yrs old. We all have to have that conversation especially before kids come along.

[@sidneybristow815]

The alternative is divorce. You think she’ll suddenly think, I need a career? The alternative is slaving away at someone else’s dream. Telling her to get a job will end in divorce and their kid will choose drugstore try and find happiness. They agreed she’d be a stay at home Mom. He needs assertiveness training and management skills to get a handle on his time. Then he needs to work out. Once she sees he’s attractive to other women, she’ll work on herself.

[@zachnunya8749]

@@sidneybristow815 where does all this time come from to work on assertiveness training and lifting weights? He already doesn’t have time to sleep. If his wife cares for him at all, why would she sit idly by while he drowns, not give him affection, and scream at him when he tries to discuss things with her ?

[@VanAllenVlogs]

He explained in the beginning that this will be a discussion based on the man since his wife isn’t on the phone.

[@zachnunya8749]

@@Nah-ah I respect you a lot for insisting on going back to work. I “know a guy” whose parents agreed that the mom would stay at home until the kid was school age. She got comfortable and flat refused to ever go back to work. Saw the husband killings himself for decades to stay on top of finances, but had no desire to pitch in. . She also refused to stay on top of housework or cook, etc. and berated him every chance she got, because she knew even if he left her she would keep the house and he would have to continue providing for her.

[@wf4983]

This makes me angry, and I don't get angry often. The daughter is 12. She doesn't need a mom that completely stays at home, half day would be more than enough. My mom worked full time with 3 kids. My sister works half time with a baby. This call doesn't sound good - sounds like the wife is dissatisfied with her life, but does not do anything to better it - no work, no energy, no empathy.

[@ZGADOW]

I will never understand how people get married more than twice.

[@karenKristal]

More than twice 😂😂

[@strnglhld]

My uncle’s done it 8 times now. He has a terminal “wandering eye”.

[@haydeecolon7868]

@@strnglhld 😆😅🤣😂

[@jessicadominguez1315]

@@strnglhld One wonders what his fiances all think. Do they think they are the exception and will be the one to stand the test of time or do they enter into marriage with your uncle with eyes wide open?

[@rustyshackleford6637]

Jim Edmonds is on his 4th

[@madalene7724]

Thank goodness, Dr John said, “You’re picking the same woman to be married to”. I watch my nephew keep dating the same type of woman and the outcomes of these relationships are the same. He ends up in a world of hurt, with nothing to his name. Very heartbreaking!

[@schustererik83]

yea, women truly are evil. most of them are pretty terrible in relationships

[@ttalah2964]

The reason she is still with him , because he is paying all bills and filling pockets with money . If I have a husband that he pays all the bills , providing us with food and house , that means 90% of my problems solved . Again this is one part of story , we don’t know her part . I wish for them all the best .

[@amde8554]

A lot of people seem to be harping on the job situation which is just a symptom of the overall dysfunction. This guy is so afraid of conflict and standing his ground he has never had a date night. The passivity is toxic. Hiring a babysitter should be something they can work through together.

[@xXShadowRejectsXx]

The introduction put a smile on my face. I was raised my entire life in Texas, I had so many people comment on my accent when I traveled up north over the years. I gave the same exact response every time, "I have an accent?" haha.

[@Marco-fn6kg]

brutal call i feel for this man

[@beautepley8352]

I've seen Dr. Delony on the Ramsey show, I had no idea he had his own show and is a doctor with an interest in mental health. My interest is peaked! Good advice he gives, always.

[@luminous6969]

*piqued

[@rustyshackleford6637]

@@luminous6969 peeked

[@beautepley8352]

@@luminous6969 I looked up the difference between piqued & peaked. Peaked means you're sick or ill I guess lol! Thx

[@KC-kg3ld]

He’s amazing!! His show has helped me a lot in life in general. Very wise man

[@beautepley8352]

@@KC-kg3ld yeah I can't believe I didn't find him sooner. I watch a lot of KZbin therapists. His show is a little different with callers, but I kinda like it because you get a quick snapshot of life advice cuz time is limited. No time for fluff

[@lauvasquez7198]

This is a crazy thought to me. We feel like it’s been too long when it’s been 6-7 days without. Never understood couples that go longer than that and why on earth would they put up with it. You only get to have sx with your husband or wife. That’s one of the special gifts of marriage.

[@marvelstarwarsgeek1511]

Dr John is such a great host the way he puts his callers at ease is not critical or harsh but tells them straight how it is whilst respecing the callers feelings.

[@tacooflove6175]

Change jobs, change cities, something’s gotta give and either you choose what’s changes or life will force something to change for you because your body will give out. I hope you guys can build something new around you and your wife and start a new adventure for your daughter to witness.

[@Rob-fn1kp]

change wife. get one who respects you

[@andre1987eph]

That’s the worst advice I have heard in a long time. Why change jobs, cities, etc. ? He’s not even on his path and purpose if he does that.

[@DawgMama]

As an older person, my first reaction is not alarm but want to question age, health, etc. Sex isn't the epitome of intimacy and not always the yardstick for happiness. When woman are going through the change, it can be difficult for them to physically connect, without a ton of effort. If he's working night and day, this doesn't allow for a lot of meaningful connection.

[@schustererik83]

yea, its almost like its on HER to go the extra mile, since she does nothing else

[@troyeberling2432]

I like how women always play the hormone card but yet ignore the effect hormones have on men. Men bond and connect through sex with women yet women ignore this and then cry that their male partner doesn't want to connect with them. Let's look at testosterone. It is what drives a man to want to have sex. Which is what women complain about. The testosterone ranges fo women are like 30-70. Testosterone ranges for men are 300-1000. Even on a man's low end when hormone problems really start to show up we have over 4 times the amount when women are at their peak. For men sex is the yardstick for happiness because our self worth is directly attached to our sexual attractiveness to our female partners in a monogamous society.

[@CRobinsonpk]

@@troyeberling2432say it louder brother.

[@ladybug3380]

@@troyeberling2432monogamy isn’t natural

[@troyeberling2432]

@@ladybug3380 Society has normailized it for the last how many millenia. And our dating strategies are still based off of a monogamous society. Women want a monogamous protector/provider. In return men want a monogamous lover.

[@brandonclark482]

Man this call was HEAVY.

[@boston312]

This channel always makes me feel great about my single life!!!

[@monicareyes2286]

Exactly my thoughts

[@nothanks1945]

Bull.

[@n.m6249]

Wait till you are 70 in some old age home on some rocking chair

[@auemmjee]

​@@nothanks1945people who don't like themselves are the only people who don't enjoy being single... it's the most peaceful and free way to live

[@user-vi7cn3xv6v]

@@nothanks1945 You have no idea how wonderful it feels after working with perople all day to come home to a clean quiet house and noone to demand food and attention to stress us single people out . If I were married I couldn't be watching this on You Tube . The guy would want attention. I can go on vaction to anywhere I want and spend my money on a nice vacation. Single responsible people save more than married people with tons of debts. I would'nt trade my single life for marriage any day. We call the shots in our companionship relationships. The guy can't come by unless he's invited. I don't deal with his problems. That's his business especially if he has kids. They are his and their mother's problems. He want marriage I tell him nope. I'm happy being responsible for just one person "me". I have friends and family that I spend time with.

[@tentrickspony8925]

His wife is cruel to him.

[@rhondaarnold5249]

Agree with everything you said, except she needs to get a job too! Working that many hours he literally has nothing else to give because he's to exhausted from overworking. If she can't recognize how selfish she is being, seeing him suffer, then she doesn't really love him.

[@BronnyJames2025MVP]

God all you conservatives make me sick. Life isn’t about working. This is why he needs union worker protection. Capitalism is literally killing him.

[@squidward6187]

I feel so bad for people in sexless relationships. Me and my partner always express concern about it. Like, are you gonna get bored of me? But the fact that we talk about it is everything. Sounds like he can't stand up for himself and unfortunately women can't respect passive men. Why do you think we like the bad boys when we're young?

[@llIlIlllII]

Passive men treat their partners like a mother. They're afraid to be assertive because mom is the leader in the house. Mom makes the decisions. Mom knows best. So no wonder women aren't attracted to that, eh?

[@JozelleRenia]

Awhhhh Jim! This is so sad. I pray that they get it resolved! 😢

[@melkerner]

3 years?, try 7+ - trapped with kids in a 22 years loveless marriage, been thinking of calling in - lot's to unpack. I am trying my best to reconnect - but she is walled off and will not allow any vulnerable connection. Like living with a mannequin, except when it comes to the house chores, kids or errands. Any other time, silence, avoidance or cell phone use - nothing for the relationship.

[@watchmanexpert]

Why u don’t left ? I did !

[@ineedhoez]

3 marriages? Damn.

[@aliparker3]

There's just no love here either way. You can hear it.

[@DarthVader964]

Thank you john. This video helped me so much

[@Alex-kb9rd]

No point being in a relationship anymore. So much work and one wrong move or (in)action and it all falls apart.

[@kitkat3155]

I could never watch my husband work that much and not get at least a part time job, he’s going to end up killing himself from exhaustion if this continues. 😢

[@moewilson4605]

The daughter is twelve. No reason mom cannot get back into the work force so this guy can just do one job. Perhaps there are health issues that may prevent one partner from working but I don’t think this is the case. My parents raised seven children. Mom went back to work when the two youngest were in school full time. She had a career of 18 years working full time.

[@acdcmiami]

Its beyond that. Shes done with him. Its not about getting out of the house.

[@BronnyJames2025MVP]

I disagree.

[@luaella]

Seems like a good man that needs help communicating his needs and asserting himself to his wife. He should not be treated that way, and he should not be working himself to death! Hoping he can have those difficult conversations or choose to leave for someone who will love him better.

[@biscaynesupercars]

I’m single but I’ve heard married men at my job say things like they haven’t had sex with their wife in a year or 6 months or 4 months or 2 years. I just do not see how thats even possible unless you’re an elderly couple or on the verge of divorce

[@Coastpsych_fi99]

It happens to women too but it’s insane

[@biscaynesupercars]

@@Coastpsych_fi99 i mean obviously its happening to women too if its happening to men lol

[@zanakaysag3839]

It happens and there are reasons for it. Possibly undetected health issues, unresolved relationship issues and/ or needs getting met elsewhere.

[@sueblack5794]

Something rarely talked about they may have married women who aren't really that attracted to them in the first place. Men are very dense when it comes to choosing women who actually desire them versus ones who just tolerate them.

[@biscaynesupercars]

@@sueblack5794 but 3 years without sex with your spouse?? Unless they are just grotesque or morbidly obese and just completely gross you out I still can’t see how going 3 years without sex is even possible in a marriage

[@melc172]

His wife needs to go to work while their kid is at school. This guy wants to try, not sure she wants to. He's gonna kill himself working like this. It's a tough rut to get out of...I hope they figure it out and save their marriage. Too many people give up without fighting for their marriage....it will be worth it in the end. Prayers and well wishes for this couple.

[@CrystalM1917]

She could even find a work from home job, work hrs around her daughters school schedule. Its really not that hard to find a way to help out. The daughter is almost old enough to stay home alone for a couple hrs or go to a friends home so they can have a night out a couple times a month.

[@James_36]

what effort is she putting in? nothing, sick of women getting no accountability

[@Price8903]

3rd marriage. Are you marry happy…..? Do you truly enjoy being married or just think you have to be married…?

[@rominabielma]

Exactly!!

[@oncetwice5942]

That’s a very good question. Years without sex can definitely change someone’s perspective on marriage tho.

[@ykciR]

The wife needs to work so the husband doesn’t have to kill himself with work. if she doesn’t want to get a job she has no interest in reconnecting with the husband. Dude needs a break to be with his family

[@godislove4540]

This marriage is already over. She’s clearly not in love with him or she would want to make love to him and would voluntarily get a job to help support the family. He is the common denominator….it’s his unresolved trauma from childhood that is causing him to marry women who are not the most loving.

[@mindyl5990]

Quick the blame the wife much? Only hear part of one side of the story and that is enough evidence to point fingers? I’m a stay at home wife and I can tell you it is more difficult than men think. And at the end of the day the men rarely appreciate any of it. And they assume everything takes 5 minutes so that means the rest of the day you were sitting on your bum. I sincerely doubt it is only her.

[@weekendnomad5038]

@@godislove4540 oorrrr she’s depressed and waiting for him to make the first move

[@weekendnomad5038]

@@mindyl5990 right. I guess I suck at being a housewife . I’ll be on my feet all day doing stuff and it won’t even look like I did much :/

[@oncetwice5942]

@@godislove4540 You know what? You might be right.

[@Furtivexx]

CGA is going to love this episode

[@peruvianheat2053]

😂😂 coach gang 💸

[@Drifter-tw4kt]

Coach gang in the house....

[@vanessapanek9959]

Some people are just emotionally unavailable which means that they’re so caught up and wrapped up in their own emotions that they aren’t able to think about yours

[@jmckee]

Hi john love your show.

[@nancyt6895]

This poor guy working literally around the clock for his family and getting no joy out of life. It's definitely affecting his daughter's views of relationships. His wife doesn't respect him or their vows. I think spouses sometimes forget that the other person only has one shot at life, too.

[@hommy1614]

That poor daughter, in the midst of all this silent chaos. Either the parents go to counseling or this young lady will sure need to some day, so she can unravel this in her own mind. I wish they had discussed his wife's situation in more depth. So commendable that he worked to provide for his wife while his daughter was young, but are there now options for his wife to help supplement to help work toward a solvent situation? They all three need him at home more, so he can see what and who all the work is going toward and spend quality time rebuilding with his wife and building memories with his daughter. I so hope they take that retreat date and begin something new.

[@andreao3258]

I know this guy is bad at marriage but how do you date someone for 15 years without marrying them?! All those years of dating didn’t save him from his predicament.

[@Joseph-en7gx]

John’s a TEXAN. Now I know why I like him.

[@tombob4002]

I wake up every morning and my 1st thought is omg im so happy i didn't make the mistake of having kids. When im down in the dumps bc i hate society. With there blinding white headlights and there over sized trucks that dont even fit in a parking spot. I just remembered at least i don't have kids n then i fell better

[@powergrower]

It blows me away after listening to this show for about a month now the number of people that are married and not having sex. How is that even a thing? Every relationship I have ever been in we had sex pretty much everyday sometimes several times. Kinda just thought that was a given.

[@tentrickspony8925]

I hope he learns to put himself first.

[@YoYo_Ma]

I can't imagine watching my husband work himself to death while I stay at home. It's one thing to stay home when the kids are little, but once your kids are in school full time?

[@rachelgee7894]

A 12 year old can stay home by herself. The babysitter excuse is null.

[@AprilMay.2023]

Wow how he knows to ask the right question "what are you running from?" I mean is it really the debt or the person. I wish you luck. Hope all works out for you.

[@v.m.4453]

Dr. Delony's face is like "I could never!"

[@powerhouse5853]

😂

[@teresavict1831]

There is hope 🙏

[@sidneybristow815]

He’s in a cycle of habit now. You can’t fix it with sex. You need to reconnect with similar goals, but all you do is work. She is depressed and it’s hard to be appealing when depressed. Where can she go? What does she want? Figure it out before she takes half your stuff. This guy is bad at romance. He thinks he knows but his knowledge is lacking about women. His Mom is not a role model for how it should be.

[@James_36]

how is it his fault? his partner is totally selfish he literally does 90% of the big things in daily life

[@jasperjoy1933]

Looks like John Delony is wearing a shirt that actually my favorite band.

[@kenya1067]

This Canada Texas thing reminds me of that episode of king of the hill when boomhaur went to Canada and did a house trade. And the people who swapped with him didn't like Hanks beer.

[@noname75013]

He is blaming the husband and it is NOT only the husband's fault. He is a worker so he is putting effort into the marrage.

[@Jane5720]

I don’t see where he’s blaming the husband, I think you got to take away wrong

[@jennbennz]

"going to work" is NOT marriage work

[@KC-kg3ld]

How is he blaming the husband? The marriage is over. 1 of them will cheat eventually and that poor kid is stuck in the middle. They need to end it now and move on

[@katwilliams2950]

He doesn't blame him. He can't talk to the lady because she isn't there. He's holding the guy accountable for his part. Just working is not effort into the marriage. Do I find it problematic that she's fine with him running himself into the ground while she stays at home, yeah. Having one 12 yo is not an excuse to let him be the sole worker. However, for the fact that they sleep separately, and not for a specific reason is a sign that they both just checked out and accepted the failure. People can just work by themselves. A relationship is way more than just him making money, her taking care of the house, and that being it

[@Metallicblack44]

Going to work is not putting effort into the marriage. Putting effort into the marriage looks completely different not being an absent spouse and neglecting your wife’s needs because you are always working

[@lisamcgill664]

Good advice

[@lperry7289]

Sex is so important , and when you prioritize special time , it’s so so good.

[@FrankS111]

That’s right men…read the comments here. You can be working two jobs to support your family and your wife wants to stay at home …. and the women and simps here will BLAME YOU for an unsuccessful marriage. Be VERY CAREFUL in whom you marry. Most of these women (especially modern ones) wants a traditional man but wants to be showered with attention and never have to initiate anything. To summarize, the guy works two jobs to take care of his family and most women here blame him. Just let that sink in. I will teach my 3 young sons to be incredibly careful of women as they get older.

[@MijoShrek]

3 marriages is on the guy. No way in hell am I digging my own personal hell where on the 3rd you go 3 years without any intimacy. Smh. Some dudes pick the same kind of person and need to stop, and work on their own inner worlds with themselves because he's got deep inner self issues first and foremost.

[@vanessapanek9959]

It’s what they talk about in Pink Floyd when they talk about the wall is too high means you’re emotionally unavailable and your wall is too high for anybody to break through means you’ve gotten to a point so far that you just come to a point where you’re comfortably numb that’s what that song means in so many words

[@Bjustis2222]

Great video. The way you help people is awesome. On another note…. Loving the whoop band G shock Combo! I have that exact set up.

[@pugscaniche7866]

Feel sorry for him.... I hope he's OK now😢

[@Lorenzo11281]

Like what information you said this is the first time I seen your show

[@SafetyTrainer]

It is difficult to do things you’ve never been taught to do. Men are initiators. Women respond well to this. Read books, watch videos, get a mentor and do what you learn. Kudos to this guy for reaching out for help!

[@bee12355]

He is too exhausted for Sex.

[@kathymonnin9818]

Oh doc you have hit the nail on the head. She has created a life she wants everything handed to her. Him working two jobs is killing him and she doesn't care enough to change it. He has to figure out what that little boy has to do to be a dad he is not a dad if he is not spending time with his daughter. He has let his wife get by with this for so many years life has changed and they need to make a big change. Daughter is at an age where life will fly by. CHANGE NOW.

[@aqua-mina]

Everyone has an accent! 0:27

[@lcamp626]

I am going on 9 years without any sexual interaction from my husband. I have had major medical issues during this time. Since then I have changed so much from my life changing medical diagnosis. I don’t feel like we are the same people, and like your caller, it’s more like roommates

[@lcamp626]

Also I don’t look like I used too because of so many surgeries. And I still have several to go. My husband asked me to grab stuff out of his office, and found sex toys, someone that can be controlled by someone on the web…. And a ton of porn. We never watched porn. He always said he didn’t like the way it devalues women…. Yet here we are.

[@lw1814]

It’s his 3rd marriage…he’s the common denominator. Dude has to figure out himself 1st before anybody else.

[@Essentialoils4ujess-weagle]

Kids pay the price always! These 2 need to figure out how to heal together. Personally I think it’s good for kids to see their parents working together cleaning up life’s messes. Poor guy is going to have a stroke 😢 if his wife isn’t willing to help him clean up their financial situation.

[@nicholasrobinson1877]

My only issue with this episode is that Dr. Delony basically blames the husband for his wife’s immature behavior. Nobody wants to work two jobs, it’s done out of necessity. Every time he brought that up, John glossed over it and basically accuses him of not trying hard enough. And when he brought up how his wife is verbally abusive, he basically just laughed and made a joke out of it. If the roles were reversed and a man were hollering at a woman in front of their child, I guarantee Delony’s response would be different. The fact that this guy called into the show is proof enough that he wants to fix this, so the comments from other users suggesting that he isn’t trying hard enough is ridiculous. Please stop blaming everything on men.

[@Tvj_films8452]

that wife don’t love him anymore. She got her kid and hides behind that. Anytime he ask for date night, she makes sure the kid is there too. She probably very dependent on him taking care of everything but wants to leave. So she has this type of resentment towards him.

[@jackdeniston59]

Yeah this guy - John -i s typical....Women are perfect and not responsible for anything.Truth is women destroy relationships. Men fail by believing it is our fault. Nope.

[@tw23707]

you have to remember that this Dr. John is a complete cuck & will continue to "white knight" for women no matter how bad their behavior, in his eyes the men are always held responsible & the women have no accountability, it does not matter how atrocious the women act it will always be up to a man to fix the relationship.

[@zeal4god402]

My opinion, keep the construction job, be your own boss driving/delivering for uber/lyft/amazon flex One day after dropping off a passenger/package, while his daughter is in school, he drives to the house, gets his wife, they connect emotionally and have fun somewhere, go to a secluded spot with tinted windows up, get a little intimate in the back seat, and climax at the house

[@distorbia20]

My husband was working his backside to the ground doing really difficult jobs. I was stay at home mum but I had a university degree decided to take some time off for the kids. But we saw my husband less and when he was off he was exhausted but would still make time for us. This poor gentleman is overworked. I honestly think if she got part time job or even full time job around her daughter she can take some of the pressure from him. Is not fair he gets to miss out family life. I love my husband too much to watch him kill himself to the ground. Reevaluate your life brother and make changes. The wife needs to work the daughter is 12. Honestly if you love each other you would want see both of you healthy and happy

[@avaglynn1]

People treat you however you allow them to treat you. This guy needs to stand up to her and tell her to help out or else. He's providing for her, and won't leave her for not having sex. Why would she change anything?

[@johniii8147]

Doesn't sound like he's good at marriage and doesn't pick well.

[@vanessapanek9959]

Like I can go over the song, Runaway, train by some of the other bands, that kind of stuff that that that song came out when I took off from Northern Minnesota, and became a runaway

[@Prismalpink]

FYI, not all spouses who say they are too tired to have sex are cheating… my mother is a cancer patient and when she was younger, she had an ovary removal and a few other big surgeries over her 30 years of marriage. There’s a possibility it could be an underlying medical condition

[@mrskitty7929]

So what does he NOT do? Has he tried reading a few books to see what HE can do differently? Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage, 5 Love Languages, Love and Respect just to name a few. I would love if mine would do that for me

[@codyhameha7107]

Yeah, he just needs to work harder /s 🙄

[@kristic4472]

@@codyhameha7107 he's working plenty hard for the bills, and food and shelter, but how hard is he Realy working on strengthening his relationship with his wife? A lot of guys think they're doing this or that and so their wife should be satisfied with that, but they don't bother to try and connect like they did when they were dating, or even when they were just friends. Women need to Know that they're Loved, and Valued. Not just to clean house, not just to be a bed warmer/sxual release toy, not a burden. Make her feel safe, loved, and something special and precious to him, and she will be his. Working 20hr days says the opposite.

[@hillarylayne8028]

@@kristic4472 I agree. Work hard for a short amount of time but 3 years of putting work ahead of marriage and that's why they're there. She probably feels like he'd rather be at work. I wonder if she's asked him to give up one of those jobs and he chose not to?

[@pinkkfloydd]

@@hillarylayne8028 This just in: woman thinks man should do all the emotional and financial labor.

[@strnglhld]

@@pinkkfloydd Nah, just his half of the emotional labor part

[@JasonTaylor-po5xc]

Working around the clock has serious health issues in addition relationship issues. But, sex is important, especially to men. Sometimes you have to schedule time to be together.

[@DRJON76]

Giving this gentlemen's life as example: What is the point of marriage, if you get less sex than someone who is single? Not 3 weeks, not 3 months, But 3 Years!!!

[@oncetwice5942]

That’s what I was thinking. Intimacy is VERY important in a marriage… at least 2 - 3 times a week, unless menstruation starts and you wait till it’s over to have sex again 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Wickedtingzz]

I know a couple Who are married and the woman let’s the man sleep with whoever he wants , she just doesn’t want to hear about it . The wife all of the sudden after 3 kids has no desire to have sex in any capacity … it happens I guess cuz they live happily married that way

[@honusbigtime591]

@@Wickedtingzz my life story

[@honusbigtime591]

Minus the extracurriculars. Meaning that describes my wife

[@marciabernard3820]

@@honusbigtime591 oh

[@Price8903]

No sex *in over 3 years…… I’m crying for you man. 😢

[@Ryan_DeWitt]

That would be a "nope I'm out of here" thing for me. Unless she had some major health issue that prevented it.

[@mindyl5990]

You are assuming she is the reason. Maybe it is he who does not want. And secondly, if it IS her, he must be doing something wrong. Does he care about her needs? Does he do foreplay? Does he say sweet things to her or does he treat her like she doesn’t exist? Is he critical of her? Controlling? It all matters. If you treat her like garbage…or treat her like you don’t love her (women need to feel loved)…then she is not going to want to do it with you. This guy was previously married yet so it tells me I think he is very likely doing something wrong but refuses to change it

[@texan903]

No sex with the wife in three years and vice versa for the wife.

[@NnoxLupus]

@@mindyl5990 What about his needs? I mean, yes there is two sides to every story of course, but to assume that he is the reason she is like that is stupid. She could be using him, that is a real possibility that happens all of the time. Or, she could not be interested in him, but comfortable because she’s been with him so long. That happens to a lot of people, they lose connection. Why blame the man automatically? They also have needs just like women. So what you’re saying is f*ck his needs, it’s all about the woman’s? He’s calling to get some help at least, that’s something and it means he still cares and is trying. Why are you so quick to judge and blame the man, as if the woman can do no wrong? The woman could be in the wrong just as much as the man could.

[@anotherperspective5033]

Try 7

[@stephenb7902]

You do what you have to do I workef 16 18 hours a day for 5 years but you have to make room for family no matter what it takes

[@timothygibney159]

You know i felt lonely... until i saw this video. Being single is A Ok

[@rhettfreeman8186]

The child is 12..it's time to go back to work honey

[@lbslott]

Sometimes it’s not so black and white. He didn’t say (unless i missed it) whether the child was homeschooled or going to school.

[@smolrat159]

She does not need to go back to work.

[@melissabrock4114]

@@smolrat159 he's working overtime and barely sleeping so she doesn't have to work

[@GameChanger597]

@@melissabrock4114It doesn't seem to be bothering him personally though. It only seems to be troubling their relationship. If it's causing problems for him directly, then she 100% needs to get a job, but from what I heard, it sounds like he's using his job as an escape and wants her to stay at home with their daughter regardless of her age. Some moms stay home until their children leave the house and there's nothing wrong with that at all as long as it's a mutual agreement, but if he's struggling to pay bills because she doesn't feel like working, then that's when it becomes unacceptable

[@smolrat159]

@@melissabrock4114 being a homemaker is a full time job. I would understand if she is being neglectful though

[@trey1941able]

He hasn't had sex in 3 years. On the other hand she's been getting slammed by someone else for 3 years.

[@Mc.flyyy11]

100%

[@Tristum1970]

We don’t know that . But it’s possible that he is simp enough for the is to be the case and he wouldn’t see the signs if they smacked him in his face

[@mxusa8383]

She’s either getting it somewhere else or she’s grooming her next tree to swing to waiting for it to be safe to leave for something else.

[@gabbymontoya2085]

A man connects with intimacy .. and woman connects emotionally .. so help each other

[@vanessapanek9959]

So, like another brick in the wall is like trying to Decom compartmentalize everything, but it means many different things that song

[@KC-kg3ld]

The marriage is over. They need to talk about it and walk away before someone cheats. Mine on and both of them may find someone great. I knew someone who went though this. The wife eventually cheated and the relationship broke down. The guy moved on and met a great woman. The wife is now bitter. Yea he daft that he’s the 1 seeking help speaks volumes. Don’t know is she’s doing the same but if she’s not, she’s comfortable and doesn’t want him anymore. A lot of women lose themselves in their children and forget about their husband.

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

Have these conversations in front of a marriage counselor so that no one can yell

[@barbaradann1446]

Dear John... where were you 18 years ago when I needed you?

[@desareecrane8734]

Holy crap…3 years!!!😮

[@timothygibney159]

Normal these days. 1/2 are sexless

[@weekendnomad5038]

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my husband working so much .. I’m a SAHM but I also wonder if she’s depressed and waiting on him to make the first move.. I feel weird if my husband doesn’t show me affection without me doing it first and it gets me down

[@andre1987eph]

9 years without - 2013 to current (2022). Tying my own record from 2000 to 2009. 🤷‍♀️

[@bobthebuilder5779]

OMG Im not going 9 days without unless something bad has happened