We Need Some Time Apart

#261 Life in close quarters can be full on when you're carting your life around on a boat together, so we're spending a bit of time apart as we head back westwards along southern Portugal.
We want to take the varnish off and speak our mind about some issues that we think are important, and give you guys a sense of some aspects of our lives away from the camera.
Philosophize This! Podcast By Stephen West
bit.ly/Philosophize-This
Happiness Hypothesis Jonathan Haidght
www.happinesshypothesis.com/
Psychology Podcast - Scott Barry Kaufman
scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/
Happiness Lab
www.happinesslab.fm/
Song Credits:
00:00 Hollow Coves - Heatwave - open.spotify.com/artist/7IAFA...
02:13 Good Lee & Andrew Rothschild - 24 - / andrewrothschilds
05:58 Honey Hounds - Easy Like The Breeze - open.spotify.com/artist/2gBYe...
09:02 Brother Mane - Epiphany - open.spotify.com/artist/2vC1D...
11:08 Yellow The Sun - Song For You - open.spotify.com/track/40ucfP...
14:17 Bill Beaumont - For The Birds Outside My Window - billbeaumont.bandcamp.com
17:19 Lachlan Ross - City Lights - Lachlanrossvisuals.com
Thanks to our amazing featured music artists for supporting the show! You can listen to them all on our Spotify playlist: www.tinyurl.com/t9fqquf
Produced by Elayna & Riley
Edited by Andrew Dickerson
Follow our Insta's for more!!
/ elayna.carausu
/ riley.whitelum
Don't forget to like us on Facebook!
/ sailinglavagabonde
Join our Patreon Crew. For LIVE broadcasts, exclusive content and other perks! Please become a Patron and support our production.
/ lavagabonde
Download Elaynas music here!
elaynac.bandcamp.com
Pick up some official La Vaga merch and help support our journey!
shop-lavagabonde.com
Subscribe to our new sexy website for blog posts and updates!
www.sailing-lavagabonde.com
Follow us on Twitter!
/ @sailing_lavaga
Like Elaynas Music page on the book!
/ elaynacmusic
FAQ
What cameras do we use?
BIG CAMERA: amzn.to/1t6fAfY
OTHER BIG CAMERA: amzn.to/2rybQE2
HANDY CAM: amzn.to/25KvT0x
GOPRO: amzn.to/1t6haPc
DRONE: amzn.to/2ooXPLs
SELFIE STICK: bit.ly/Spivo-Stick
What software do we use?
Adobe Premiere Pro bit.ly/Adobe-PremierPro
Predict Wind bit.ly/PredictWindForecasts

[@charlesward8196]

My wife and I have been married for 41 years. I can’t imagine what it would be like without her. That being said, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the same room ALL OF THE TIME! With a toddler. Working under deadlines with over a million people judging your product and comment only a keystroke away. On a rocking boat. Doing watch and watch while sailing. Maintaining an ocean-going yacht where everything that breaks costs twice as much to fix (or much more) than a house on land. That is a lot of stress. A lot of little stresses, and some big stresses that pile up and compound. Dealing with officious officials in port, overcoming language barriers and slow internet. Shopping for food where the labels are incomprehensible. Trying to operate a non-profit business with global supply chain issues during a global business stoppage. Having to always be “ready for your closeup” on camera. Living with interrupted sleep cycles. Just as La Vaga needs to be hauled out for maintenance, so does a partnership. Thanks for doing the hard work to produce this content, and thank you for sharing with us, both the smooth sailing and the rough. EDIT. Wow, Riley/Elayna, and everyone, thanks for the positive replies, being part of this community is wonderful.

[@C.Hawkshaw]

Awesome comment!

[@InnKogNeeto]

The. Best. Comment. Ever!

[@BB_Chaptsick]

Well said, sir.

[@SuziePG]

Well said.💜

[@BGWya]

Very very insightful!!!!🤔

[@katieirvine2845]

Honestly, we'd all respect you guys if you wanted to take a digital break. Your 'mental load' is most probably astronomically high, especially with the sheer amount of effort you guys put in to creating content to please the masses. We as the audience aren't privy to half of the organising and background admin work you guys do, and I can imagine your list of things to do only grows rather than shrinks. HUGE respect and love from me, please take time to just be people x

[@melissavaughan4074]

Great idea-take a digital break and instead of posting send a link to a podcast or something you want us to watch. A meditation series...a free yoga teaching. Have you all been keeping up with your yoga.!

[@sandyc6569]

👍

[@TideKnotTravellers]

Really well said... 😊

[@patriciafoeller4896]

Ditto 👆🏻 please take care of yourselves and your relationship. 💕

[@maryannlammersen6536]

Katie said it well. Maybe you feel you have obligations to keep up? Lennie is the piece that you have added and that needs to fit in with all you are doing. I see many people implode after children come along. Many times it is the massive amount of energy a little one takes. If family is most important then maybe we can see fewer videos and deal with it. Nothing is more important than your happiness. Thanks for all the great footage and you have complete control over how much you work at it. Kudos to you both.

[@JainaTargaryen]

Riley, thanks for speaking up about mental health. It's really important for men to hear from other men who are struggling. Society is still way too focused on gender roles and men being tough all the time.

[@namastesteven5655]

Having a child will put a massive stress on any relationship never mind that you all live in a boat with little time for your own space.......please dont let resentment creep in once it does it's a difficult journey to bring it back on track...good luck guys

[@fifich6953]

Sailing, life, companion, years of social networking, all can be very exhausting. May be you were giving an impression of being the perfect sailing mates etc. I often wondered whether something was lurking in your spirit. I can hear in your voice, especially these last few months. It's good you are speaking about this, and remember your not alone. No one is perfect and low moments can happen just like high times. We are all here for a short while, Keep track on positivity, and your beautiful family and life🥰🙏

[@jacqui2651]

Excellent advise.

[@Sssssssslf]

couldn't have put that much stress on them when they decided to make another one just a few weeks after this

[@Likeaworm]

My dad always tells me "Son, a key to a happy marriage is spending time apart. You don't have to do everything together."

[@megang8670]

I love this. Been with my partner since I was 17 over 20 years now and two kids later. Always take time apart mini vacay or even just get away for a day. It’s got to be hard being on top of each other all the time. But good on you both for all that your doing for your mental health ❤️

[@06frostdaniel]

“You’re probably sick of me banging on” - not at all. Being real is one of the many reasons we all tune in, and there’s no limit or restrictions on that. ❤️ It’s hard enough feeling down, let alone broadcasting it to the world in the the hope it will help others.. I can promise you it does, so thankyou.

[@amandalevy1227]

Wonderful comment Dan... And ALL so true. 😘

[@samuelbackley8757]

Well said Dan well said

[@aleta5873]

Dan Frost..exactly ! You never know how many people are being helped with their sharing.

[@sailingrubyrose]

Love the comment about giving making you feel so good that it's almost selfish- very true. Wishing you two all the best X

[@LostNative]

Completely understandable. I also think Elyna should get a day away from Lenny as having a baby around isn't getting her own space needed to self reflect while a baby is talking away. Even in this video you can see who's had a more relaxing time. You both live in a small space, it's great your having some time. Elyna you look so beautiful but your eyes have a look of exhaustion, please have a day to yourself with a girlfriend or yourself. Sending hugs to you both, making sure you reconnect and have alot of cuddles after your space. Sorry if I said to much, hope your well and thank you for showing us your life. 🥰 You both sailing a boat with a filming job and a toddler. Give yourselves a pat on the back you both do great things. Xx

[@smetlogik]

Cool part is you''re real. Appreciate the honesty and transparency, not often found on YT or real life.

[@jamesamo4616]

Very real

[@sarahspillman2570]

👌 couldn't have said it better myself !

[@kellyszymanowski5715]

Exactly what I was gonna say. Thank you for your vulnerability to share the hard stuff with your viewers. We want the best for you guys and if space is what ya need were here for it :)

[@need2growup]

Great video! I agree - so real. We’re all going through a lot these days and I’m glad to see you’re taking care and time for each other and yourselves.

[@mrpaul5726]

Appreciate your honesty and raising mental health issues, you will gain support, not lose it, by being so real. Thank you and all the best.

[@Lea4-22]

SO TRUE, PAUL: YOUR COMMENT IS RIGHT ON POINT. RILEY AND ELAYNA: your followers like myself are here to help you. Others DO NOT matter. I am sure your Donors will agree.

[@chikatoo]

When times at “home” are tough... I always find it helpful to think of all the people who are in a much worse situation who have much less, who don’t know where their next meal is coming from or a roof over their head. And I’m thankful for what I have and who I have even though it’s not much. So sometimes it’s nice to reflect and see what you actually have, a beautiful family your health and an amazing catamaran that can take you all around the world. It may seem simple but like you said giving is a bigger gift to yourself... and see what you have through others eyes is a gift in itself. Especially during this pandemic I’m staying home and staying in because I’m in a hotspot in the United States where people aren’t taking this seriously, and you’re out there exploring the world and enjoying yourselves. So I hope you can see what you have and just be thankful and when little things annoy you or bother you about each other try to look at the big scope of the world and realize that you’re living in virtual paradise...With a beautiful beautiful little boy

[@veneciavortex]

Favorite video you’ve all done. Beautiful, of service, real . Thank you both for your generosity and vulnerability. Blessings on your journey mates!

[@robertlemoine3500]

It’s ok to be human guys .cheers unknown friends.

[@LenParliament]

Yep, that's what I was going to say. Thank you for sharing the occasional downswing, that we all e experience.

[@JahvisLoveday]

Really agree that especially young men should speak up. My close mates and I all sat around a fire not long ago and all talked about our anxieties, our fears, and what we worry about. We are all at the age of 19 and I'm so happy that we are starting to get comfortable enough to talk about these things together.

[@beckypincalifornia1985]

Jahvis Loveday Bless you and your friends. Thank you for sharing your story. What most politicians forget is that medical care includes mental health. Mental health issues are NOT a sign of weakness. They are a sign of being a normal human, experiencing ups and downs. Please vote and volunteer to support mental health initiatives.

[@emilybarker3240]

Yes. So few guys actually share their ACTUAL emotions. Good job

[@Sssssssslf]

that's awesome, great job i hope my boys have friends that feel comfortable talking about emotions like that when they're your age

[@KraljOsovina]

That's great Jahvis! Thanks for sharing it 😃👍

[@GrahamOwen916]

I've watched hundreds of you're videos, starting with the first old La Vaga. They helped pass the time pretending I was in paradise while I was rehabbing a torn ACL. I've never commented before, but as a husband, father of two, and a human, I deeply respect both of you for opening up and sharing your experience with this issue. You're not alone. Life is a beautiful, messy struggle. All my best to you guys.

[@birddawg1171]

“It takes a village” remember you both need time to yourselves and also social interaction with friends and that makes it extremely difficult on a boat constantly moving from port to port while being new parents and also difficult in the “Covid” time we are living. Love you guys and hope it all works out. Come back to the 🇧🇸

[@Jane_under_a_tree_with_a_book]

It is a mature kindness to give space to yourself and others.

[@bluewaterpines8323]

Tis tru

[@tacchan1311]

Here's one of my favorite quotes and it applies to everything in life, really: "A smooth sea never made skillful sailor"

[@SETHFANKHAUSER]

Love it. Just looked it up, Franklin Roosevelt said it.

[@scottroder5516]

I have been married for 40 years to my beautiful wife. This year during the Covid lockdown in Texas, we were spending our first Winter in our RV. It was awful to have no where to go, no outlet. So I started working on me. I went for bike rides darn near daily, and it was magical. We are still happily married. Everyone hits those times when you need to get away. It is great that you recognize it. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Much love to you two, you have entertained me for years. Long may you love.

[@holliemarie7876]

Next Riley needs to watch Lenny for the break while Elayna gets me time as well:)

[@MrBlocky00]

I thought similar. Except why did he get the holiday and not her? Blokes bloke bit of a joke but we don't know what's been said... Maybe she couldn't part with him or other things. Brave ppl putting it all out there

[@jonathan9552]

So I'd imagine she can't run the boat alone and it would be very difficult for him to man the boat alone trying to care after the kid.

[@holliemarie7876]

@@jonathan9552 of course I mean off boat:)

[@Paintedcolour]

@@jonathan9552 I'm sure she can run the boat alone.

[@yeboscrebo4451]

Susana Depetris not likely

[@gayleouthwaite5741]

Don't forget that this Covid-19 situation has also had a huge impact on everyone's mental health worldwide. That on top of everything else you are experiencing as a couple and parents makes it that much harder.

[@tommcluckie6034]

anyone who thinks its all fun and games isn't living in the real world everyone else gets a holiday from their job that should also include you guys

[@darylj2617]

owning a small business usually means little to no time off. its bittersweet.

[@Sailing_Gypsy]

I know this was some time ago now, but thought I'd say thanks for your honesty, ultimately that is what this world that's saturated with social media (aka ´the highlight reel´) really needs. Something I have learnt over the years is how important diversity is in our lives, which is probably why people like us are attracted to a life on the water! But even that can become ´all consuming´ at times.. and a break from sailing and time apart becomes essential. I know now you are currently ramping up for the build/launch of the new boat, and I can imagine you are in the midst of a high pressure and extremely stressful time!! maybe I'm wrong, and I'm sure there's a lot of excitement too.. But just so you both know all of us here are behind you every step of the way. So if you feel like you both need some time away from filming and editing and putting your lives on show whilst you focus finishing the boat I am certain all of us will completely support you both in that decision. Just do what's best for you guys and your little family. Take care of yourselves, much love and fair winds... Jimmy X

[@morgandevol6218]

I will be praying for you guys to find joy when together and refreshment when apart! Love the channel and the content! Remember you can’t give from an empty cup. My faith in God is what fuels me, find your fuel!

[@livhemingway2224]

Going through the terrible 2s, 3s, and 4s with a child are very challenging. Elaina can't do it alone, not if you want a healthy child. Having time apart is all good but Elaina needs time off to reconnect and balance herself also without toddler in tow. I think, docking and giving Elaina time free from all baby and baby daddy activities would be truly beneficial for her psyche too. More so, if mum thinks she doesn't need it.

[@Victoria-xi8id]

Raising a child alone is perfectly acceptable and although not ideal, will not rear an unhealthy child. Many, many successful people were raised by one parent. That is not the issue here. Everyone needs their own space. This couple is phenomenal and doing everything right..

[@tobiaskuhl7237]

Exactly. I have to convince my girlfriend to let me take the son alone sometimes because she can't let go. But it is important. Now he is almost 2 and we can really hang out. The pandemic actually brought me and the boy closer.

[@sharonbarber4602]

I’m a mother of three and I agree. I’m in a nice comfortable home with my kids and it’s as child proof as I can get it and I am overwhelmed. I can’t imagine a toddler on a boat. She needs a break for sure.

[@aleta5873]

Elaina needs a break from both her men. The toddler is a hand full...

[@jackiebryant5808]

Agree I raised 2 children on my own one is 26yrs o,d and the other 19yrs old. It was so very hard on me now I have many health issues however the closeness my kids are to me is priceless ! I had to be mother and father, parenting is for life!

[@zacreynolds2524]

do appericate seeing a young male talk about their own mental health makes me feel less in the dark about my own, thanks your a real one.

[@Jumamu]

Thank you so much for sharing this side of your lives!! It’s pretty obvious we’re all here for you!!

[@jenniferself8673]

I'm so happy you shared this, thank you! In this age of watching clips, reading blogs and viewing FB, Insta and Twitter posts it's easy to get sucked into the notion that some people have everything sorted and are living perfect lives, in abundant happiness with no struggles! Every now and then we need a reminder that what we see on screen is polished and picked out perfection - like you said - you're not going to pick up the camera when you're feeling like sh*t! Life can be epically tough sometimes, but that's what makes it all worth it. Five years ago my boyfriend and I moved to a country where we couldn't speak the language, we knew nobody, but we wanted to move to a simpler life, quit working and live off the land on a little homestead. That meant working and living together 24/7. Man its been tough! Especially in winter when we're literally in each others space for several months. I can imagine that intensified significantly on a boat, with a toddler!! But, its the best thing we ever did - and we find ways of coping and giving each other space when we need it. With some yoga, meditation, mindfulness and a little time apart, even if its a few hours a time, we've made things work. I'm sure you guys will too. Best of luck xxx

[@valstreate7412]

A successful relationship is an art, the art of compromise.

[@stevenredpath1787]

Your topic, editing, and speaking from the heart really shine in this video. I must run home and tell my wife I love her. Thank you.

[@resplendentclarity2188]

I appreciate your honesty. I think the comments that are disregarding Rileys recent sadness are out of touch and unfair. He has as much right as Elayna to have periods of low mood and difficulty. From what I have seen, they work as a team, and this time Elayna has been tagged in. Next time it might be Riley who is tagged in. A sign of an incredibly healthy relationship, regardless of the difficulties being experienced.xx

[@pbonck]

Most people won’t remember 2020 fondly. No worries. 2021 has to be better.

[@blendon1463]

2020 is epic

[@MegaTattoo69]

Yeah it almost seems like you can only go up, from 2020 😵😵🤪

[@blendon1463]

@@MegaTattoo69 I would not like to have your sad thoughts on life

[@blendon1463]

Great time to be alive for the lovers

[@blazbohinc4964]

Many people I know said "the key to a happy marriage is spending time apart". And it's true.

[@angelebabin4313]

I agree !

[@rayyoung7780]

Thanks for your openess. A word or two from an old guy who has been through some stuff. I have been married 52 years and have along the way suffered some serious stuff. For example we lost our son, our only child, when he was only 19 in an auto accident. That threw us into depression. My wife went on antidepressents and I took the typical male route and stuffed my grief. It eventually caught up with me and several years later I went into depression and went on anidepressents. A couple of observations. Antidepressents are helpful but eventually you need to work out your new reality and figure out how to go on. I quit taking the antidepressents because they not only took the lows away but they took the highs away and I missed the joy that I had lost. In going through what we did and being careful to observe what it was that helped us turn things around we discovered that we got better when we stopped focusing on ourselves and started helping others. Unfortunately there are many folks who have suffered losses like ours. They are hurting and in need of an understanding ear. We learned to be good listeners but we also read and went to conferences and learned how to help those who are depressd because of loss. we spoke at grief conferences, we hosted a grief group, and sat for many hours with hurting people. When you suffer the kind of loss we did you discover that there are those, who like first responders, come rushing in to help and there are those who run for cover. It would have been easy to say that those who helped were our real friends and those who ran for cover weren’t but the truth is everyone did what they were capable of at the moment. It took us a couple of years after the loss of our son to get to the place we could start helping others. We are Biblical Christians and believe that happiness comes about from our circumstances but joy is a decission we can make that will allow us a possitive outlook in the worst of circumstances. This has gone too long but one more thought. The last 15 years of our marriage we have been together 24/7. They have been the best years of our lives because we have stayed focused on helping others and becoming better at it as a couple. I’m thinking what you two might need is a babybsitter and a couple of nights in a hotel. Keep working at it. You have much to give and Lenny needs both of you. in the meantime those of us who enjoy the content you share with us will be praying for you. Best wishes.

[@hdubby4533]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have children so have never experienced the loss of one but I have experienced severe depression and I know that it is not an easy battle to fight your way out of. Thank you for sharing your story and for helping others through the darkness. Bless you and your wife💓

[@TheGreatBlumpkin]

A lot of us are having hard times since a lot of us are on lockdown and stuck in a small house with a significant other. You're not alone! Time apart is a great way to decompress and release some stress from the relationship.

[@angelaclark5916]

Send Lenny to grandparents for a month or so, that way you as a couple can have time to reconnect. It will be worth it andLenny will be totally fine.

[@gregknipe8772]

ya, what pandemic? this is just a tv reality show, right?

[@twoheartsinonehome9869]

A MONTH JESUS CHRIST

[@cochinaable]

Better yet send him to boarding school.

[@rickgee765]

“Life on Life’s terms”. Can’t be happy all the time, but we can be reasonably content.

[@colliesworld6380]

Rick Gee true!! And there is nothing wrong with that

[@tonymalone4187]

I'm in my 70s and suffered with Depression all my life even got to the stage of hanging myself, the only thing that stopped me was my Dear Wife finding my body, I asked for help and I got it, every day isn't Rosey but tomorrow is always better. You've done a great Series to the young men of today to bring this to the forefront Bless You all on the Vagabond I Love the Vids.

[@Ok-551]

Thanks Anthony.

[@dissaescobar1312]

That’s awesome sir. Your story just made my day.

[@RadicalPersonalFinance]

I’m so glad that she found you D that you are alive. May you know God’s peace and strength and joy today.

[@ChiChi-dy9qi]

That was such a refreshing, authentic and genuine look into your lives. Thank you so much for this video.

[@achenarmyst2156]

Riley‘s list is precious: GIVING, preserving friendships, workout, meditation. Life on sea can teach you a lot. 🍀

[@jameshickey9393]

Been married 36 years, we take separate adventures every now and then, not a bad thing. We think it's good for any relationship.

[@lelawilkerson4299]

@TRUMP 2020 hate to hear that. Your wife must B AFRAID to be alone, or very insecure. I am better at being alone. I wish to find a man tht realizes ALONE time IS healthy!

[@michaelangelos5117]

My wife wanted time apart and then she came back 7 years later and told me she made a mistake. And I told her, I have a dog now.

[@luluwinke6581]

sorry not sorry

[@kurtcraig3421]

i havn't spoken to my wife in years either, i didn't want to interrupt her. she also told me i wasn't very vocal in bed. sorry dear but i lose my voice after all the pleading to get you here in the first place.

[@autonomous_collective]

Smart man.

[@autonomous_collective]

@@kurtcraig3421 Well said, Kurt. Well said.

[@lanycera]

@@kurtcraig3421 Oversharing much? lmao.

[@mikelaragt]

Wow!!! Thank you very much for opening up like that. When you look at couples in social media it's easy to think that everyone's life is perfect except your own. Thank you for sharing this, I know it is really hard to share with others the not so good parts of a relationship, but it does remind us that every couple goes through rough patches. When you are going through tough times with your spouse, it can feel very lonely. But I think the really important thing is how you tackle those obstacles and overcome those tough times together. I've been married for six years with 5 year old twins... and things can get really though at times.

[@riaavelar8491]

I love how transparent you are. So much love to the both of you! ❤️

[@billjones261]

Rearing children isn't easy, particularly when they go through the terrible 2's which can certainly put pressure on a marriage relationship for sure, maybe more so on a confined boat.

[@f0t0b0y]

I couldn’t even imagine.

[@aleta5873]

Bill Jones, exactly. Just the thought of all the safety factors too...

[@jennnageli8967]

Thats exactly what I think. As rewarding as children can be, it's really the most challenging part of a parents life especially those in a confined space.

[@asayaeverson2598]

Such a massive relief to hear you guys talking about this stuff. It means allot

[@emilyreynolds9573]

I appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing a bit of reality. It's nice to know you are concerned with the way your lives are perceived by your viewers. I love watching your videos. Our family has been processing some deep grief this year and your videos are something we look forward to. Thank you!

[@lexlip6408]

its honestly super refreshing to see this real side of things with you guys. been a follower for a while and sometimes it feels in-genuine when things seem to go perfect at all times. wishing you happiness in any way that means to you

[@patriciajohnson1944]

If you only new how many folks you have helped get through their C-19 quaratine by virtually sailing with you, you would be amazed. Thank you for sharing ALL of your life. Always be true to yourself and those you love. Meditation is amazing and something we all should do ". . . may I free suffering creatures and place them in bliss ~ may the compationate spirit of love grow within me ~ that I may complete the enlightening path . . . " You are all giving so much to so many . . . Thank you

[@kathrynhall7021]

Patricia Johnson 100% AGREE

[@SeanyRay08]

This was not unexpected. You ultimately went solo to begin with and bumped into this amazing person which changed your perspective. You're a great couple that brings out a lot in each other. Glad you're being open about it and hope you resolve it in a way you're both happy with. Lenny is all that matters as parents now and that's another big adjustment! Lots of love from the UK x Lenny's food review haha!

[@ryansauer1373]

Vulnerability shows such strength, thanks for sharing you 3. Everything is going to work out.

[@saskia.h]

Thank you for making the effort to be realistic and truthful! It’s highly appreciated. 🧡

[@valarya]

I really really really appreciate it when "influencers" (I only put quotes bc you did) show the reality of their lives. It's so important for us as humans, young people especially, to have real role models; so often people are comparing their lives to the lives they see on screen and that in and of itself can lead to depression. Life is messy, and not always perfection... although I would say even the mess is perfect. :) Does Elayna ever get alone time without the kidlet? That's ALSO important. Love you guys! ♥

[@10bbremer]

So, if you are living a life style that some would consider a vacation, how do you take a vacation?

[@bjanii]

Thank you for being so brave to show an even more intimate part of your life and therefore showing that we are all human ❤️

[@hollyspencer2799]

Absolutely beautiful video thank you x

[@shellyackerman3177]

Thanks for sharing your authentic selves. Life is hard at times. Even for beautiful people on a beautiful sailboat! 🥰

[@polishking4372]

Few weeks apart and You be happy again .25 years of marriage experience lol.But one Advise Rilley, She need Break from kid to ,Keep Lenny For few days so she can Get away and Clear her head .Best of luck

[@tobiaskuhl7237]

I have the same with my girlfriend and our son who is the same age as Lenny in the video. But it is very hard for the mother to leave her child, even for a day. I have to convince my girlfriend to let me take the boy for some hours so she can be alone. And every time of course she is very happy and rested when we return. But the next time i have to fight her to get the boy again haha.

[@polishking4372]

@@tobiaskuhl7237 maybe she doesn't trust you With Kid ? Never had problem asking wife to Live kids and Go away for few days .

[@beerhammer1881]

TBH, been married 34 years with 2 kids, never needed time away. I would guess this lifestyle had to end once you had a baby. It's not fare to deprive Lenny of a normal childhood, might be time to drydock the boat, get a regular job and focus on the family. Lenny can never go to school, have friends, ride a bike and all the great stuff that makes up a childhood. The ocean will always be there, your son is only little for a short time, don't waste it!

[@_._._DJ_._._]

Agreed... Some of the best times are when its just you and the kid...

[@polishking4372]

@@beerhammer1881 they can do the as they visit islands, They can Ride bikes or Have fire on beach .You be suprise how big Yachting Community is ,40% have kids with them And they become friends For life .Unfortunately Do to Covid19 Lots plans or even gathering is prohibited so They having hard time to enjoy themselves.Things will get better and Happiness will return. Why will they want get regular job ? They make 10x more doing this then Most people working on land .Cheers

[@DidiPort]

Hi “Riley, Elayna” and Lenny, you are human after all, this was suspected, you live in a pressure cooker a 45ft one. The balance you have communicated gives an important insight to all relationships, thank you for the honesty. You never fully appreciate the good times, until you weigh them against unsettled times. These unsettled times are the opportunities and are times of growth. For you each can grow from witnessing, respecting and looking to understand the others perspective. Introspectively witnessing your own perspective - maybe you write down your actions and thoughts from an objective perspective and be strong enough to see the others perspective, again write this down and share what you have written. This is tough stuff, this honestly will enlighten you to each other. When the relationship wins you both win. I read the word “compromise” is an earlier comment, this is of course the precursor to the relationship winning. Space is important, reflection is important, introspection is important and honest communication is important. Be kind to yourselves and to each other, be aware when and open to do both. Tough times never last tough people do. Tough people work hard and hang tight, the sun will arise again and appreciate it more than ever you will. As you both appear to love read/listen, Riley and Elayna if I can recommend a Book, it is called “First you need to row a little boat” by Richard Bode, I think you will like it. There is a sequel, “Beachcombers at Miramar” Best of wishes. The Portuguese Wallaby Down Under

[@maryrankin9869]

Love your honesty.Dont give up ..you have so much to share,,,appreciate all your special talents and love!

[@Beibyface]

I think momma needs at least a few days without kid and with friends instead.

[@yeboscrebo4451]

Mikkel F. Lerche recipe for disaster

[@skapitapita]

@@yeboscrebo4451 disaster because....?

[@yeboscrebo4451]

Shep Grignard because you can’t take a break from being a mom. Baby needs milky

[@dogzer]

@@yeboscrebo4451 Baby needs mom love. Mothers are the most important thing for the kids. Ask any kid who do you love more, momma or dadda? 90% of the time they'll say momma.

[@JenShea]

Agreed! Every woman can use a wee break, once in a while

[@jcoghill2]

I'm constantly confronted with the mental projection I have of what living on a boat would be like and what it really is and they are not the same thing. Through the incongruence I see more clearly.

[@michaelangelos5117]

I lived on a boat for 15 years and it gets small.

[@TheZenguitarguy]

"I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." Rilke PS No one here would object if you took a pause from producing films to spend time healing and coming together. Everyone, on one level or another, is experiencing a sense of stress and compression that effects their relationships and lives. Sending a lot of gratitude and support your way.

[@flippingnic2983]

Thank you Riley, I have added your words of wisdom to my journal; Strong friendships are beneficial, Giving is wildly beneficial, a Cardio workout everyday, Meditation, and maintain a Gratitude Journal. Thank you. Just what I needed. 💛💚💛💚💛

[@rosanoosterom4326]

I am still catching up to real time but thank you for this honest and reality of life we all experience! All the love!

[@clarion61]

There is a reason why on every flight safety talk they say "in the event of a loss of cabin pressure masks will drop from the ceiling PLEAS E PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK BEFORE ATTENDING TO OTHERS" You guys are parents so you owe to your child to be selfish about your own well being, you cannot offer Lenny the support , guidance & attention he deserves unless you are both healthy mentally & physically. The steps you have taken to relieve the pressures of marriage, parenthood & working together are commendable, sensible & necessary. It may also be worth considering getting grandparents involved with Lenny's care for a short time to give you both the opportunity to focus on each other. Remember it takes a village to raise a child & that goes the same for everyone, its cliche but true that "nothing worth doing is ever easy" I wish you all the luck, love & happiness you deserve.

[@angelebabin4313]

Beautifully said.

[@deesnider6304]

Reading so many “mental happiness” books can be tricky at times. I honestly believe some of those outside influences can make one see problems that aren’t really a problem at all so to say. Everyone needs time apart especially when you coexist in a small space. Being apart from one another gives your head and heart the openness to think about those wonderful little things that made the other person so perfect to you in the first place❤️

[@rogonaut1533]

times are changing, time to change. thank u riley for speaking out, much appreciated. love and power

[@JonathanRobinson11]

Bravo. Bravo to you both for being transparent and demystifying the notion that anyone, no matter where they live, is happy all the time. It takes work. That’s the thing that needs to be talked about! Cheers!

[@thomasg1644]

Raising kids is difficult. Lenny doesn’t have any other kids to play with most of the time so he is looking to his parents to provide constant attention, which is really hard to do. I can’t imagine raising a child on a boat. Best of luck to you!

[@lydiaajohnson]

My son is an only child-grown now. When he was a kid, I was the constant playmate. Not that I didn’t love my son immensely, but it was tiring. I’m told that a second child brings more relief to parents by my friends who had two. A third is another story. But, I hear it’s nice to have two. Caveat: I came from a two child family, and we fought a lot. 1) We were three years apart, so it was uncool to hang with my baby brother. 2) We weren’t challenged to solve our disputes, so they spiraled. We weren’t taught to love each other, so that compounded things. I do believe that two sibs can work if parents are willing to do the work of teaching their children how to get along, and they don’t put more than two years between them if they want them to hang together. Sounds like a lot for La Vaga. But, it just might work. I’ve seen more in a smaller boat.

[@mlsyogi4821]

You two are an example of how to handle all that life throws at you. The world pandemic is NO help, and having a toddler just increases the intensity. Thank you for sharing; it’s important.

[@joygarland8831]

I can’t imagine how tough it is doing all you do but you are loved, appreciated and have so much support. Thank you for being the realest, most honest versions of yourselves and showing the raw side of your lives that other influencers don’t. You’re so appreciated and you add so much happiness and inspiration into my life. Thank you for taking the time and putting in even more work than you already do to make these videos. Love you guys. Stay safe❤️

[@rebeccawilson8412]

Being in a small confined space with one person all the time is hard but then to throw a toddler into the mix its definitely a whole other story. Take the time off you need, take time apart when you need it because family and your relationship is so important ❤️

[@garysmith5781]

Been there done that..it is hard to spend time apart, really sucks actually. However, it can be beneficial. I wish you all the best of luck..You are an amazing family..nothing wrong with taking a break..peace and love...God Bless..

[@Yorghan]

As someone who's suffering from severe depression for several years now, and is dreaming of becoming a liveaboard and circumnavigator once, this video was pure gold! Thank you so very much you two for being so honest, so open and just being you!

[@helenspicer4246]

New to the channel and what treat to have some ‘real ‘footage and conversations.....your absolutely right that sometimes life just wares you down and your need some time out...even more important in the confines of a boat I should imagine. Thank you for a great vlog xxx

[@Sophia-qe2vn]

That teaches us that wherever we are, we can't really escape from ourselves. Even on a sailboat living a "dreamy" life. Love yourselves, that's the key.

[@airstreempillow5751]

The way you all approached the issue is to be commended. “Doing life” is complicated at best, but doing it in a small confining space, raising a child, and sharing all this with the public can be extraordinarily stressful. Having been married 34 yrs, I can certainly relate to issues couples face year end and year out...we all go through trying times but at the end of the day, I can’t imagine being without my wife. The good will always outweigh the bad if you are determined to make it work...and I have a feeling you guys will be just fine in the end. Hang in there...you will be better for it and you will find at the end of your journey you’ll be glad you did years from now. It will make you guys stronger and even closer and the ultimate benefactor is Lenny. God bless!

[@beccalex89]

I can't imagine what it would be like to depend on just one other person to meet all my needs every day, isolated on a boat. It's a tremendous amount of pressure and a big job. Most people rely on entire communities of support to raise a child and build a family. I hope you're both well and find the balance you need to thrive and be happy.

[@farcuf]

@Mr. X not my experience at all.

[@Juggernaut-fg2up]

I’m disabled and am forced to live on my boat alone. I don’t feel sorry for couples, I’ve had no one for five years

[@dharmaqueen]

@Mr. X Not everyone.

[@HaitiHinche]

One of my favorite episodes. Glad to see you have the tools to manage the lows. They come for everyone!

[@vquient21]

My father in Law introduced me to your channel!! I look forward to my Monday’s now just to watch your lovely family! I’m grateful for you guys!

[@juliebatsel238]

A deep Thank You for sharing. It's all a journey, eh?: ups/downs; winds/no winds: inhale/exhale....even the pause between the breaths. We're all lucky to be here, through it all. Lots of love. xoxoxox

[@jwaller8200]

Would be nice to have a grandparent or trusted family member to watch Lenny for a week so that you could reconnect as a couple. We watch my grandson at least once a week for several hours so my kids can enjoy each other. Breathes life into their relationship ❤️

[@SiCDesigns]

been a long time sub. This shows that everyone can grow and we are all never done growing and understanding. love seeing the growth. Hope things come back better then ever.

[@brothexG]

"Giving is so good that it's probably selfish" Beautiful.

[@bryleesawyer4836]

Thank you for sharing, it really does mean a lot to me, and to your global community. My job is supporting other people's wellbeing, yet it is absurb how hard it is to admit when my own is not so good. Saying it out loud is an important first step. I'm grateful for this video today 🙏

[@sueo.6731]

I think now, more than ever, people are experiencing depression on some level, given what's going on in the world. People who particularly suffer from depression probably have it worse than ever and others. Aside from what's going on in the world, to be in tiny environment with 2 other people, 24/7, and for a long period of time, can't be easy, regardless if anything's going on in the world or not. Hope you all get through this with flying colors.

[@mrso6473]

Heyyyy I had to reply to this as I’m a Sue “O” too!! I completely agree with you its a very strange time and the worry of this virus is like a cloud hanging over all of us taking the shine off everything! Funny Riley should mention being thankful for a fluffy cloud ⛅️ We have followed them for years now and I truly appreciate the honesty as its my husbands dream to buy a Cat and take it around the Greek Islands! Its not all perfect and certainly not easy!! Well done to them both for being so real!! I like you truly hope they get through this!! Xx

[@Slick1G3]

very true sue / Riley needs to realize what he has >.every mans dream

[@sueo.6731]

@@mrso6473 PS: If they need a break from Lenny, I'll take him!!!!!!!

[@earthandfire4840]

congrats for being on trending guys! ive watched your videos for years. love your filming style and your family. x

[@erosmoonlore3585]

thank you, for being the people you are. together or apart for a time, you're equally as wonderful and Lenny has chosen his parents wisely

[@mymainepage5184]

Looks like mama could use alone time as well. As a mother of young boys I know it can be hard to have time away but it is much needed especially when living in a boat because she can’t just get in her car and have a grocery trip to herself or anything even as simple as that. Also I know every time I leave my boys with their dad they all realize how much they needed the time alone together as well. Just my opinion and I know I don’t know much about your personal story to know if that’s even a good opinion or suggestion buttttt I also know moms need to have time to sift through all those open tabs in our brain and come up with some solutions to help through the hard times.

[@vetercrew85]

I couldn't agree more! My husband used to take our 3 away for a camping weekend once a year. It was heaven for me. Years later, they have good laughs about their adventures; I have good memories of the peace and tranquility of having the house to myself, and the luxury of immersing myself completely in my own projects.

[@allisonbrown8613]

I agree, I hope she gets some well deserved alone time soon. Who knows, maybe she has and they haven't shown it in filming. Either way, Elayna, I hope you are finding peace in the ways you need. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

[@anniecampbell224]

See my comment above on TEETHING ("next time send Riley off with the kid" :)

[@lisssmall4669]

Time apart and time alone is vital. My husband and I (together 22 years now) found that it was even more important, and yet paradoxically harder to come by, when we had very young children. When each child was about 1.5-2.5 years old, it was HARD. Add in working together and a pandemic, and it must be even harder! Take good care of yourselves and each other, you've got this.

[@KingLuis1985]

my wife an i are almost 6 years now with a 4 year old starting kindergarten and a 1 year old. i can confirm this. it's hard and even just getting time to yourself to do your own thing can be hard to come by.

[@_._._DJ_._._]

@@KingLuis1985 It gets easier.. One day you will miss these days....

[@erinhillen2383]

Thank you for being so open and honest! And especially to Riley for speaking up about young men & mental health! Very important. Love you guys! Always look forward to your videos ❤️

[@srberry7291]

So refreshingly honest! So healthy. We are 65 ye olds loving following you....totally makes sense what you are going through... thank you for your vulnerability. 🙏❣️

[@cinziam457]

First: Everything that Charles Ward said...plus: Second: So this is pivotal. And what "Reality TV" should be. Thank you for being honest. You have integrity, and it shows that you respect the people watching you enough to not present an Instagram version of your reality.* Ironically, it's what will, IMO, catapult you onto a whole other calibre of viewing, which will bring even more pressure and chaos. If you don't already, consider enlisting the help of professionals for both your personal lives as well as the business end of things -- even Oprah sought personal counsel via Maya Angelou, and had business advisors. The family you've created is the most important thing, so it's great to see you taking time out to do what you need to be healthy & happy individuals first. * I can't recall the episode number but there's one in which Elayna has a bit of a cry and she shares that she's surprised to hear that people think she's brave; and how "brave" is she, really, if she's miserable (at times) and crying? Well, Elayna, you ARE brave because you're doing it all in the face of fear. That's the very definition of bravery! Seriously, how many couples had a hard time getting through Covid lockdown? Most! THANK YOU for this episode in particular. It really affected and resonated with me. Oh, and thanks for all the resources/links above!

[@lottejohnson250]

The older I get the more I realise what you're talking about is just life. You can't escape it, whether you get on a boat or on top of a mountain. We are all only human, the more everyone understands no one is perfect or has a perfect life the better. Props to you guys, talking about life and all its baggage is important stuff.

[@freebs3545]

thanks for all your honesty!

[@uniontube44]

Praying for the three of you. Deep joy and love. God is good

[@pepibopi]

Moms never really get a break. Really interested to know how Elayna’s time apart went, having to handle Lenny on her own.

[@vjregnier]

Thought the same thing, not easy being a woman/mom always "on "

[@itsmePassportBro]

Me too why did Elaine get dumped with the baby. What about her alone time.

[@taylorcalhoun1557]

my guess is it would be next to impossible for riley to sail alone with lenny at his size. he’s very active now and i think they always need two sets of hands on board with lenny now!

[@emilybarker3240]

I feel this comment as both my toddler and 5 month old cry

[@dickenscider7328]

All you wingers here need to watch Bill Burr’s take on motherhood

[@FairleyTrashed]

Life anywhere with a toddler is so hard. Extra hard on a boat with little support. Much love.

[@ayda7544]

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability❤️ Life is a rollercoaster. Thank you for keeping it real. Sending you big love from Turkey💙🌊

[@StephenWalkerAhoy-Boats]

Thank you for making and sharing this insightful video. So appropriate for everybody at this difficult time.