We need to talk about The Female Gaze

Talking about the female gaze, and how attraction doesn't necessarily have anything to do with looks.
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[@shahrasadsconspiracytheori7903]

I highly dislike the “male gaze” vs “female gaze” discourse that’s happening on TikTok bc it kind of just bastardized this film and feminist theory and just watered them down to “what boys like!” Vs “what girls like!”

[@teenagewitch3646]

It’s not exactly wrong? Like I’m clearly not attractive to the male gaze, and I know there are women who are considered to be the male gaze. It doesn’t necessarily affect me- because women like me and im actively attracted to women. But I know it exists- like men writing women in books lol

[@FrozenAfricaPrincess]

Exactly, they’ve taken terms they don’t seem to fully understand and just ran with them. Gaze relates to camera angles, composition, point of view etc… in films, not whatever is going on on TikTok. It’s not even meant to be applied to real life people.

[@Booby_toesdays]

WLW thirst trap compilations are the best example of content created for the female gaze 👀

[@sporer_]

Because TikTok is stupid. They hear terms that they think will make them sound smart and then just make a new definition for them. Gaslighting is the biggest example... which on TikTok just means lying.

[@johnvermintide]

i feel the people who use 'female gaze' too easily do not really understand what it actually is

[@Kaastengels]

I think you're one of the living example of female gaze tbh

[@hells_fallen_angel7130]

THE WAY I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT 😮‍💨

[@Goat.Cheese]

100%

[@Grimeszs]

yes! he makes me feel funny lol

[@rodentsofrandomness9203]

Agreed fr

[@usernamee4259]

I can not explain how much I agree with this

[@marieldavidson4040]

The hand flex isn't inherently female gaze or sexy by any means. (Please don't flex your hands at women, that would be weird). It's the meaning behind it. At this point in the story, Darcy and Elizabeth have hated each other until she stays at his house, and they discover more about each other. Quizzing and challenging each other's beliefs during her stay, creating a more intimate relationship between them. While saying goodbye at the house, he helps her into the carriage, which is the first time they have EVER touched. That hand flex is the equivalent of stomach butterflies and the beginning of Darcy loving and accepting Elizabeth as she is. It's sexy because we, as the audience, know it's the beginning of an intimate relationship between them that is not based on sex and bodies. But based on a relationship that challenges both of them to be better people and rise above the pride and prejudice they have toward each other. The female gaze is about being seen for more than our bodies, for the whole package; the messy, the soft, the intelligent, the capable, the bold, etc.

[@Mistyfaery]

Perfectly worded. Couldn't have said it better myself

[@paulogaspar8295]

it's still the male gaze. It created a general fake stories that attracts women. Just because it has a context behind it it doesn't deny the fact that is female gaze. Like 50 shades of grey and twilight where made for the female gaze. Hot rich boys with a bad side that the protagonist is going to break and make them a good guy. You see thousands of media with this formula and it always attracts female viewers for their horniness.

[@marieldavidson4040]

@@paulogaspar8295 context is everything. Female gaze is always being seen for the whole picture of our womanhood (which is imperfect and full of faults). Whether it is Anastasia Steele or Elizabeth Bennet, women want a man that that takes them as they are and a relationship that can grow and evolve. They don't want to be seen as sex objects.

[@ashi-art3944]

thiss👏👏

[@invisiblechicken]

Was thinking basically the same thing. It was like he could still feel her touch and he didn’t like that it was causing these feelings because she isn’t the type of woman he should consider marrying and so he flexes his hand to try and remove that feeling, and it is such a powerful moment for being so understated.

[@MissCaraMint]

I once dated this guy who had a very serious face and demeanor. Very quiet too. The moment he would just let go and laugh it would totally transform his entire being. It was very very attractive. So warm, open, friendly, and just the idea that that I can make this serious man laugh was just incredibly attractive.

[@harrehloueh4539]

what happened between you too if you dont mind me asking, i want to know more about love life so that i can explore mine with my boyfriend and work things out if we have troubles yk? im 14 but i really do love him and if this isnt love then idk what is. i just wanna have us last as long as possible..any advice?

[@MissCaraMint]

@@harrehloueh4539 What happened to us? Oh just life really. We kept planning on when we were going to be living in the same city, and then something would change and our work would once again separate us. It takes a toll eventually when there is no end in sight for long distance relationships. It would have been fine if there had been a firm future date, but as I said our work just kept moving us to different places. It ended amicably. We sat down and had a discussion about how the fact that we kept essencially getting separated was getting harder emotionally and how it might be good to break it off before any hard feelings developed. A year later we actually did end up in the same city entierly by accident, and we went on a few dates, but then the pandemic happened and it kind of put an end to that. Regardless we do still talk occasionally, and are pretty friendly. I still love him, though not romantically anymore. I guess my advice is just to talk. Make sure you are both getting what you want out of the relatoinship, and that it’s making you both happy. Bring up issues before they become large problems, and see if you can work them out together. But also, though it is painfull sometimes breaking up is the better option if either of you isn’t happy. I’m obviously not saying to break up over the smallest little thing, I just want to remind you that giving up your happieness just to make a relationship work isn’t healthy. Loving someone sometimes means letting them go, just as much as other times it means staying by their side. Ok that’s all for that. You are young and I remember feelings my being very intence at your age which is the only reason I bring it up. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just remember to have open communication and you should be fine. Communication, trust, and mutual respect are the coundations of a good relationship. Sorry if that comess off as a bit pompus.

[@northernguy6703]

Bet if he had exact same personality but were 3/10, you would not even have looked back

[@MissCaraMint]

@@northernguy6703 My dear. A person might be a 10/10 for someone, and simultaneously be a 1/10 for someone els. This is why you can't reduce people to simple numbers. I get the implication from your statement that you probably don’t feel too good about yourself at the moment, and that perhaps your perceived self value is tied to other people's perception of you. Particularly women. You need to find value in yourself. You need to be able to happy by yourself, or you'll never really be happy at all. Another person can't validate you enough to make up for your own lack of value in yourself.

[@northernguy6703]

@@MissCaraMint This is true to an extent, however there are features that is considered pretty / attractive by general consensus in a society, such as clear skin or youth, (This is why makeup in almost every country aims to recreate this)

[@chelsey241]

Male gaze doesn’t just mean “things men are attracted to” and female gaze doesn’t just mean “things women are attracted to”. The male gaze is when media portrays male characters as agentic and powerful, and female characters as sex objects and scenery. The audience is then supposed to relate to the male characters and participate in objectifying the female characters. The female gaze isn’t the same thing but with switched genders, however, it’s when media directed by, or aimed at, women focuses on women with agency and power. This often includes portraying their sexuality, but doesn’t have to. The audience is supposed to relate to the female characters.

[@johnvermintide]

h m m m

[@savsol5607]

Yes*

[@alexanderphilip1809]

objectification without cost or social backlash. nice. Media potrayals be damned but males being "agentic and powerful" is a historically accurate fact with contemporary evidence to back it up it doesnt need validation from media potrayals which if anything only worsens things considering how disassociated from reality most 21st century hollywood creatives are. How that relates to the portrayal of women in media is not exactly mutually inclusive as you suggest. Essentially female gaze is a multimillion dollar coping session to overcompensate while for men the male gaze doesnt need to be catered to. If we dont like somrthing there is always something else o keep us entertianed. Its the patriarchy you see.

[@sarahmcmahon600]

Thanks for explaining! Would a good example be Harley Quinn in suicide squad vs Harley Quinn in birds of prey? From what you’ve said that seems to be an obvious comparison Edit: I spelled Harley as Harry the first time oops

[@chelsey241]

@@sarahmcmahon600 I’d say that’s a perfect example!

[@batgirl5751]

I think a lot of what the 'female' vs 'male' gaze stems from, is simply physical vs emotional attraction. The male gaze is very focused on the physical attraction part of it, so much so that they often turn those conventionally attractive men into huge assholes who 'take what they want', or just make them idiots. The female gaze is much more focused on the emotional attraction aspect. It takes into account that, phyisical appearances aren't what a character is. Characters like Loki are so incrediby appealing to women because there's more behind the eyes (or muscles). Loki is smart, skilled, and is often vulnerable. Thor is a big, goofy idiot who is shamed when he's vulnurable. Edit: This is mainly talking from my experience, I'm not trying to blanket statement what ALL women like or what ALL men think women like Edit 2: Tysm for all the comments and likes!! Yall have brought up some really good points, keep it up

[@vicki6210]

But limiting our access to the female gaze based on predominantly emotional attraction is part of the issue, it doesn't exist because it can only serve within the confines of what men can't see rather than an overt display of objectification to match the male gaze

[@johnvermintide]

alright this is a good explanation

[@nishthagupta1357]

Exactly yes.

[@cailybanes9137]

i dont like loki i like big muscles am i female

[@buzzedup8299]

I have no idea how can a child molester looking type provoke emotional reactions that are positive.

[@digitalharmony26]

Nothing hotter than a man who is self aware, has self respect, has respect for women and people in general, understand women to some degree and double bonus if he’s fine as hell.

[@ellielou52]

And wears nail polish! I'm obsessed with this trend. I always liked it but it was only emo boys and black nail polish. Now it's far more widespread and open. I'm also a hand girl so... that tracks.

[@thenonexistinghero]

Basically nothing hotter than a man who doesn't exist in reality sounds like.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

No disrespect. That's great. But .... That's patronizing to us men. I can't speak for all men but this is basic decency. I don't like the phrase the "bare minimum" at all but if what you're saying is true, I'd be your boyfriend and all of these men wouldn't be single.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Ok never mind you're just sharing what you find attractive as it's relevant to the video. My bad

[@digitalharmony26]

@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 I can understand where you’re coming from. You’re right, having basic respect and human decency for women should be the default, but unfortunately it isn’t.

[@izzimurphygallagher9443]

I feel like his old tiktoks should be what he's getting sh*t for rather than his arrogance. Arrogance is ick, yes. But multiple videos shamelessly beating and K*LL*NG an imaginary pregnant girlfriend... makes me feel really worried for when/if he does get a girlfriend. Not sure why he feels he can call himself the female gaze now, considering his older videos were about harming women and ending their lives for bothering him a tiny bit. That's scary.

[@FilmCooper]

YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! IT FEELS LIKE THE DEFINITION OF MALE MANIPULATOR, BUT BECAUSE HES NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE NO ONE WAS CALLING IT THAT

[@shirin9452]

Huh!? That’s what he was doing before this? Edit: Jesus. Just got there. Hell no

[@wellokthen3834]

He looks like he'd kill someone gonna be honest

[@eeeeee2919]

Big “if”💀

[@marlie7989]

it was a trend way back on tiktok, i find it funny tho, it's obvi not something he would actually do, it's just grim humor

[@shirin9452]

I think an interesting part of the female gaze is attention to the sort of things the male gaze wouldn’t take in. Hands, wrists, arms. The look in the eyes which shows the expression of the brows and perhaps the hairline but not the whole face. Clothing, perhaps. Posture. Things that make a person who they are rather than how they look. I remember seeing the male gaze in Wonder Woman so blatantly I almost walked out-the slow pan up the body? Ugh. I think the female gaze is kind of a function of viewing a person as their identity rather than the shape of their body or their secondary sex characteristics.

[@scientia.veritas]

@@kshamwhizzle6544 that's not remotely how the two films were, but obviously internet feminists need SOMETHING to justify the continued victimhood. Themescera was always an isolated society, away from human civilization. So while she understands the human biology (i'e', procreation), she doesn't understand human customs (holding hands, marriage). If anything, Steve Trevor - the highly-competent war soldier - was given the infantile treatment to keep Diana in the focus. If Steve was given any less importance storywise, he would be akin to the "object" feminsts often complaint about. The issue with Captain Marvel was less about what's between her legs and more about what's between her lines. Dealing with overpowered characters, who can do pretty much everything and don't have any real challenge, is a narrative sh*tshow. This is why it is so difficult to make good Superman films. This simple criticism of a narrative flaw was taken as an affront by so many insecure women just cos they missed a chance to say "yas kween slay" yet another time. You can take my words for what they are worth, or accuse me of mansplaining and dodge. Your choice.

[@its_dey_mate]

@@scientia.veritas Gosh, thank you. When I read that "lil feminist me" bit I genuinely sighed and thought I alone ended up in the sexist part of KZbin. I want to add to what you said. People called out Captain Marvel, because she was a plank of wood with no emotions, and she didn't face any hardships, she just...became one of the strongest characters in the MCU without deserving it (by deserve I mean by overcoming great difficulty...like in every other properly told story in existence ever?). People somewhat liked WW, because it is a somewhat competent superhero movie, that only fumbles in the end (Where the woman beats the angry war-loving man btw). Our society isn't a patriarchal one anymore (Without taking into account countries known for their horrific treatment of women and also very specific areas that are however going in the right direction), despite many people not wanting to accept that, now both genders are equally f*cked in different ways!

[@killme5630]

Ikr. Sometimes it irks me that most men only focus on the blatant ass or tits shots, going as far to just focus on it and enlarge it to the point that ot looks hideous. Do women ever focus on just balls all the time??

[@draculacousin]

oh my god this is so true when i have crushes i focus on the small things that makes them idk how to explain it ☠️☠️

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

Its like how men assume women are attracted to bulging muscles. When all my female friends have tastes that are like Coal miner from the 1800s Line cook Elf prince (Yes Legalos) Dad bod and not the deadbeat kind Huggable bear

[@T_Cup]

I think a better example than Thor vs Loki would be Wolverine vs Hugh Jackman. Both are nuanced, but Wolverine's aesthetic is all about brute force, physical strength and muscles, whereas Jackman is a guy who loves musical theatre and his wife of 26 years. Same looks, same body, same muscles, but one is a caricature of a traditional masc man and one is an actual person you could see someone falling in love with = so it has a lot to do with the way he is perceived and who is doing the perceiving

[@fellix7531]

Very well said~~

[@anom6707]

Idk if you watched Logan but I highly disagree with your statements on Hugh jackman’s Wolverine.

[@T_Cup]

@anom6707 I haven't, but I don't think the last movie in his X-Men repertoire changes the overall Wolverine aesthetic Jackman made so famous that it's hard to imagine anyone else in the role

[@kaylowe0681]

THIS EXACTLY i love hugh but not the biggest fan of wolverine

[@Syd_Smith]

I find Hugh attractive, but Wolverine? Not at all

[@theforgottencompanion]

Personality, and the willingness to show at least parts of said personality does so much for the female gaze. By displaying part of your personality, whether it be through music, acting, comedy, writing, other forms of art, fashion, or even by just discussing and showing passion for your interest, you become human; and that humanity is worth its weight in gold. Even more so if you're willing to show emotions. By surpassing the concept of just being something to look at, you catch people's interest. They want to get to know you, they want to know what you like and what kind of things you enjoy. Showing that there's something to engage with opens endless opportunities, and THAT is what the female gaze is about

[@lucid1776]

So the female gaze is just being a human of substance. 💀

[@rogerjack18]

Ha tell that to twilight and 50 shades of grey the females main leads where bland so the female audience could insert themselves it's objectification using the bamboo archetype/broken both gazes are sexual

[@CandyAndromeda]

If only lesbians were that way about other women. I've been looking for a gf for 2 years. Nothing.

[@theforgottencompanion]

@@rogerjack18 you're right, the female leads were written to be bland so that readers/viewers can insert themselves, but the female leads weren't written for the female gaze, the male love interests were. There's a reason why the mysterious handsome stranger is such a popular trope in romance media. It plays off of the need to know who the mysterious love interest is, which is an aspect that fits into the female gaze. Also, something being the female gaze doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't sexual, it just tends to be sexual in a different way than the male gaze. To top that off, just because something is written by a woman it doesn't mean that it is written through the female gaze, just like how something by a male writer doesn't automatically mean it's through the male gaze.

[@painunending4610]

I wish this was true but I show my personality and emotions and no woman has ever been attracted to me. Why can't they just be attracted to looks? It would be so much easier 😞

[@thejunkdrawerqueen]

so… i’m gay but, the i’m female so i can talk about the female gaze in a quirky unconventional way. This entire video is so insanely right, the attractive part of the “female gaze” type thing is people being attractive without trying or being creepy, and so Loki is hot, villains tend to be more attractive because, unlike Thor or the hero, the villain is attractive without being designed and made specifically to be attractive to women

[@FirstnameLastname-zq8oy]

I highly disagree with the villain part. Many villains are intentionally designed to look cool, badass and even attractive (many often have conventionally attractive actors playing them for a reason). The reason why villains are popular is because a lot of women are attracted to morally grey “bad boy” characters, however whether this is a good or a bad thing highly depends on the specific character, in my opinion with loki it’s understandable, but with those asshole wattpad bad boy types it’s a bad thing. Although in all fairness it’s usually only young teen/tween girls who are attracted to the latter, and the reason is usually due to a lot of internalised misogyny, not the “female gaze”.

[@AndromedaD]

The female gays

[@tomsnowden6201]

@@FirstnameLastname-zq8oy You're the winner here. Except that grown women still love douche men..Look at the "50 shades of grey" series..That said, ppl need to stop letting Hollywood effect their outlook on the real world.

[@Syd_Smith]

I like how Loki ended up in this comment

[@thenonexistinghero]

Whether something or someone is considered creepy is entirely up to subjective taste. If a girl likes a guy, a guy playing music outside her room is romantic. If not, he's a creep and will soon hear police cars in the distance closing in.

[@af9162]

0:47 as a woman, he makes me uncomfortable and I want to go home. Note: *I’m already home*

[@ash6111]

Agreed

[@thegoat8827]

Why? He’s so good looking 😞

[@thatmoviegirl3814]

Something else that I think a lot of people get wrong about the female gaze is in relation to when women are attracted to “mysterious” guys. Guys tend to think that when a woman wants a mysterious man, it’s because the guy is either emotionally unavailable or it’s a ‘mystery’ whether or not he likes her. Or that his actions in general are a mystery. But personally, when I’m attracted to mystery in a character, it’s because the character has actually displayed a vulnerability or an insecurity that needs to be explored. It makes me wonder “oh, what’s his story?” Even if the character is otherwise emotionally constipated, it’s that spark of emotion that makes me want to peel back the layers and see what else makes this character tick.

[@MonikaCult]

THANK YOU! Everyone says that we want the "Sigma" men who are cold mistetious and practicality emotionless but thats not what we consider mysterious at all, it's the characters that show some type of insecurity/fear or struggle that isn't showed very often or explored that much. I wouldn't care about the character if they were just "cold", "quiet" or any of that stuff without emotion.

[@thedeed8740]

I have had people tell me that I’m trying too hard to be mysterious I am literally just socially awkward there is no mystery 💀 Also I agree

[@ellielou52]

*nodding enthusiastically*

[@letsgetthisbread9374]

Sort of what I discovered makes a character charismatic are the lines between what 'defines them' and 'what they attempt to use to define themselves' Charles Horton Cooley once said "I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am." And that, I think, is something everyone relates to.

[@Hello-hello-hello456]

some people still genuinely believe 'women want bad boys' like a universal truth

[@jadehodkinson9964]

A big thing I've noticed about the difference between the male and female gaze, is that the male gaze tends to centre a whole image. Like a 3/4 frame of someone shirtless or in a bikini, more exposed skin and a full view of the person and their persona. Whereas the female gaze is more towards the subtle features and characteristics such as like hands and neck/shoulder lines and the attraction between people which overall tends to be more alluring and up to imagination. This video also explains it very well with a different view: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqjXqKavpLCIfNE

[@johnvermintide]

idk why but this theory shebang thing makes it seem that it relies on the stereotypical ways a man and a woman view attraction from

[@drilonkennedy-gorne2049]

That is such an interesting interpretation! I've noticed the opposite. The male gaze tends to "cut up" the female body into consumable chunks, while the female gaze focuses on the interplay of many different aspects of a person's (usually male body) humanity.

[@mhawang8204]

Nope. The most male gaze shot is a pan from women’s legs up in a bikini or Shia LaBeouf looking at Megan Fox’s midriff in Transformers. You don’t even see the women’s faces, only body parts that are supposed to be sexy. This is how the camera is objectifying them - they’re objects to be gazed upon, not humans with emotions and thoughts.

[@beepbopboop7727]

Not really, the male gaze also likes to focus on boobs, or legs or lips.

[@xthemightygoatx]

I mean kinda. one of the hottest things ever to me is my husband's prominent collarbone. but i think its a bit more complex than that as well.

[@flos7254]

I think nowadays different ways of 'atracction' are getting bigger in movies/tv and media in general. In my own experience if a guy i find physically atractice "forces" this "atractiveness" (idk, thirst traps for instance) he becomes unatractive to me. And it's got nothing to do with self-love and finding oneself hot (that's amazing and i wish everyone could see themselves that way), it's about how this physical atributes become the personality. In the case of Loki/Thor (you'll guess who i like better) Thor's "atractivess" is portrayed though strength (physical and mental) and when he's sentimental that's shown as a weakness. Loki in the other hand is a character with much more depth and he is as atractive in looks and in the subtle way his interiority is shown, you need to see how his mind works to undertand his motivations and actions and he becomes "misterious" (similar to what is atractive a about mr. Darcy)

[@FilmCooper]

RIGHT!!! That is such a good point! Yeah there is a difference between confidence in the way of self love, and confidence that other people will think you're hot. That's a really great way that you put it!

[@seabreeze4559]

vanity in men is ugly

[@mariazeredo6657]

@@seabreeze4559 Vanity in anyone is ugly

[@seabreeze4559]

@@mariazeredo6657 in men it's effeminate, so worse, think Narcissus in the Disney Hercules

[@saumyavig8964]

@@seabreeze4559 wtf lol

[@micah1387]

The female gaze is about perception by the audience not the sexualization of the opposite sex. It's about the way we view characters both from the protagonist (audience self insert) and the off screen presentation of them

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Passion and interests are probably the biggest component of the female gaze. I don't see attractive men and immediately think they're hot, I see men who are passionate about their interests and who seem to be emotionally well adjusted and that's what I find hot. But also hands and hair.

[@ellielou52]

Hands are my jam. Hair is pretty great too.

[@joannadzenowski6214]

Okay but honestly though,even as a bisexual woman,my male friends don't get how I can find something hot without it being inherently sexual. I need some context before I can judge attractiveness by vibes

[@marvin2678]

yeah youreeee sooo much better than us evil men

[@weirdshrimpnumber9755]

​@@marvin2678Nobody said men were evil though?

[@marvin2678]

@@weirdshrimpnumber9755 male vs female gaze?!?!?!?!?!

[@misfits9294]

Honestly, I just really appreciate a man with content covering film analysis actually take time to look at, understand, and analyze the female gaze as an actual concept in film, and not just dismiss it and act like it's stupid. Because other than being more empowering to women, it says SO MUCH about a shift in media and framing media in general, it's genuinely fascinating on its own. i see so many women creators making stellar content explaining and breaking down the female gaze, but I'm very glad some men out there are too :)!

[@omgthisissoawesome]

I think one of the best examples of the female gaze that's more focused on the physicality aspect is George of the Jungle. There's a very cool analysis written somewhere that explains it well, but essentially.... despite George being ripped, the way he's treated on-screen highlights his more sensitive and gentle nature. He's all dexterity, he's non-threatening... they literally have a scene where he's wearing a flowy shirt and running with horses. It's like he's pulled straight from a romance novel for women despite it being so easy for the writers to portray him as a male power fantasy/rugged man of the earth type character.

[@hyu4782]

Jack Black on The Holiday is my female gaze, he’s not conventionally attractive but every little thing he does in that film just makes me swoon. I’d mention also Jude Law from the same movie but I feel like my point might get across better with the Jack Black example (I also happen to have liked him better)

[@monbub]

Honestly I love Jack Black as a person so you're based af

[@Store-ko7jj]

2:20 his hands. I love a man with veiny hands c: and the tender gaze right before, so wonderful

[@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594]

Chris Hemsworth is DEFINITELY for the Male Gays, and Loki is DEFINETLY for the Female Gays

[@BruceWayne-fj9bm]

Lots of straight women like Chris Hemsworth. Female gays liking Loki, a dude doesn’t make any sense. Girls who say they don’t like muscles are lying.

[@jorgenavarro4268]

@@BruceWayne-fj9bm Women are hypocrites, they are always half naked on all social networks. But a man can't show his body

[@chandratownsend3891]

Characters like Thor are nice to look at, sure. But a character like Loki makes me giddy inside. Looking conventionally hot may catch my attention at first but it sure as hell won't keep it.

[@JaydenConnors]

@@chandratownsend3891 Loki IS conventionally attractive tho?

[@GriffithFemJesus]

@@BruceWayne-fj9bm The point is not that girls don't like muscles, the point is that girls don't care about muscles that much. I find Thor objectively better looking, but Loki infinitely more attractive. I mean, if I had to choose I'd go for Loki no doubt.

[@FridayGirl19]

This s super oversimplified but, Chris Hemsworth: Shirtless, action movie, guns blazing, stoic hero stuff = male gaze Chris Hemsworth: Being a Dad, baking his child's birthday cake, hyping up his wife, general dorky behaviour = female gaze. Other excellent examples - Gomez Addams (specifically Raul Julia's depiction) and Rick O'Connell. It's the same guy in different fonts.

[@jorgenavarro4268]

Misandry

[@gingko_maple]

​@@jorgenavarro4268Doesn't exist.

[@Cpruett]

@@gingko_maple You think bigotry against men just for being men isn't possible?

[@skeletorlikespotatoes7846]

This is not supported by studies at all

[@mightychondria666]

@@gingko_maple say sike

[@NotInMYName_AntiZionistJew]

Few things sexier than genuineness, empathy, kindness and vulnerability.

[@lolababs206]

TRUE, unfortunately 99.9% of men don't possess it

[@Alice-7777]

Nope only one looks only looks matter in this world

[@Damian-nm9qn]

​@@lolababs206 is that it? or is it just the fact that they're too ugly for these qualities to be noticed?

[@mr.batman_xoxo.]

FRRR

[@morgannyan2738]

@@lolababs206 thats still more than the 100% of women who dont posses it.

[@teenagewitch3646]

This was refreshing content??? The movie reference is definitely going on my list as a lesbian myself. I found you trying to find more information on his wrongs and im not mad at all. Thank you!

[@kiriki4558]

Female gaze is not about attractiveness only. Is about the femenine perspective, viewing things and exploring experiences and fantasies from the position of a woman or with the focus on thing women take into account (like the personality and subtle clues). From a personal experience, very few shows directed at young audiences (when i was a child) represented protagonist or issues that mattered to girls. I could emphatise but not conect to the characters, specialy the femenine ones, because i knew they weren't made for me.

[@marvin2678]

yeah ofc we evil objectifiyng men dont take that in account we onyl care about looks

[@luxborealis]

Eh, I feel this really comes down to what a woman personally likes. I’ve certainly had to sit through a bunch of female friends hooting and hollering at some shirtless scene. That being said I see where this is coming from. As a bisexual man I’ve been scratching my head at some of the men my female friends find attractive, until I realized mannerisms can override sheer physical appeal in many cases, even if both are a bonus.

[@autumnatic]

Demeanor and voices override a lot. See the Benedict Cumberbatch phenomenon...

[@rrodz1447]

Female gaze is the personification gaze. Because women are often used as archetypes, symbols, objects, the “female” gaze is about personifying and particularizing. That’s why the usual standards of beauty and sexiness need not apply, because we move past what we have been told to recognize as attractive, to what is really attractive, which is intimacy. Only through intimacy do we see quirks and peculiarities that make the unconventional appealing, and so recognizing someone unconventional as attractive gives us that feeling of intimacy. First this tiktoker was providing the avenue for people exercise that muscle and they were happy to. People do want to connect to others after all. But arrogance is distancing, posturing is distancing, inauthenticity is distancing. He might not have more too give, though.

[@maevem316]

Wish people would stop using male or female gaze to mean who that gender finds sexually attractive at all tbh. It's a film theory term about the way the camera treats characters, and yes, the male gaze often includes/refers to women being objectified for sexual reasons, but that's just because that's a common way women are treated by men in storytelling... the female gaze is *also* often used to refer to how the camera treats women, ie not objectifying them, whether they're sexy or not

[@-mokerly-5984]

Yeah, this

[@anom6707]

Using “the male gaze” and “the female gaze” outside of the context of movies is just weird as hell. Why are we using film studies terms to describe and generalize real life preferences? Gives me cave dwellers vibes, similar to incels saying chad and femcels Stacy.

[@Solararisa]

@@anom6707 I mean, people ARE using these terms FOR films. I don't get why people get so offended at everything. These terms were coined way back in the 90s for describing how characters are inherently treated by the writer, camera and direction. It's also true that people are generally attracted to people that are visually closest to them. Which is why men tend to be attracted more to masculinity and women to femininity. There are exceptions to the rule, always. Discussing the standards doesn't invalid the exceptions.

[@marvin2678]

so female gaze good , male gaze bad...great

[@marumaru.3471]

Damn, I didn’t know Kev used to make that type of content. Thanks for the info

[@rebia5542]

Yea same I'm definitely going to uh .. not go look for those

[@shahrasadsconspiracytheori7903]

I WAS SO SHOCKED WHEN HE SHOWED THAT

[@yosute__]

3:06 it's not that bad I think it's ok to feel yourself every once in a while, self love and all that

[@heavyy_eyess]

finding out you make full-length videos has restarted my life system. This is amazing

[@elizabethgrey6040]

You’re absolutely right about the whole trying vs not trying thing. I find that’s most clear with the whole “sigma male” trend. Admittedly my type is something similar to how sigma males are described: introverted loner, kind of a loser but in a cool way, doesn’t fit in, doesn’t care about social expectations etc. But the thing is I would NEVER EVER be attracted to a man who calls himself a sigma male. Instant turn off. Disgusting. Pathetic and not in the good way. Because the moment someone is trying too hard it ruins the appeal and makes it look like they’re just desperate for pussy. He can call himself a lone wolf or some other cringey shit and I wouldn’t care as much, but the term sigma male shows he isn’t doing it for himself, he’s doing it for social validation. And that’s just gross. So yeah, spot on.

[@johnwalker1058]

I feel like the concept of the sigma male is similar to the concept of humility in that regard, that there is a sort of paradox for how self-identification equates to a self-disqualification of said trait. If you brag about being humble, you then immediately cease to be humble. If you self-identify as a sigma male, you are trying to get external validation for going your own way, which goes against being a true sigma male as the true sigma male would not care what someone else thinks about their chosen direction. So a man unironically self-identifying as a sigma male immediately ceases to be one by that very act, even if he might have actually been one before.

[@elizabethgrey6040]

@@johnwalker1058 Spot on

[@quinnisasin9085]

I think the “female gaze” is more about characters who actually embrace femininity and don’t push it away like so many characters do. (For example- you!! Women love men who aren’t afraid to be feminine!!!)

[@MBCC-S-706]

he's... not really feminine? he's just not trying too hard lol. femininity would be doing or wearing things that are heavily associated with feminine women.

[@lostcherrylovers]

@@MBCC-S-706 yes, but for example wearing a lot of jewelry (rings, necklaces, earrings), not necessarily though, but especially nail polish tends to be considered as feminine

[@MBCC-S-706]

@@lostcherrylovers Ah yeah true

[@hollypuckett3931]

@@MBCC-S-706like his jewelry, polished nails, and literal womens clothes? 😂😂😂😂❤

[@marvin2678]

Sure hahahah yall are saying the Same Shit and be the First one Ro leave a man that gets emotional....at least dont lie

[@fernie7620]

I agree with this a lot!! you put it really well - I've seen his videos and never fund him attractive, and I think the way you said "He has the knowledge that he will be perceived as hot and that makes him unattractive" is so on point

[@ellanaa9464]

You've hit the nail on the head. Now that we have kind of repurposed the term, he could fall into the female gaze if it wasn't for his personality

[@Thatsmygirl-]

The way he acts like we weren’t on our knees dying after his thirst trap

[@creationsbyjessie]

The flexing of his hand isn't attractive because that's what she was looking at. It's because of the uncontrolled response to simply touching her hand. It's about knowing you've left an impression and knowing that someone is focused on you in a considerate way. Not creepy, but considerate.

[@ticijevish]

Also, in the time the novel is set, women were expected to wear gloves in public and soin to skin to contact between the sexes was forbidden so, for a gentleman to touch her hand when she was being inappropriate (without gloves), was a breach of a taboo. And it was discreetly done. No one in the scene commented on it. He might as well have sent her a letter proclaiming his desire for her, à la Atonement.

[@grimmsus1469]

I seriously adore how open and accepting and supportive you are of literally all different kinds of people. you’re the best

[@jayjayredpanda]

I love how no ones talking about the fact that "Most replayed" part of this video is coopers thirst trap

[@m1zumisaki]

I KNOW I was looking for a comment that was like it's ok when you make a thirst trap I liked it 😚 but if I say that a man will take it the wrong way like 'oh so it's ok if it's a guy that YOU like??' which is not what I mean 😭

[@dr.k1012]

The frat boy, predator thing was a lightbulb moment for me.. SO TRUEEEEE

[@thenardiersiblings]

Here's something interesting: I'm orthodox jewish, and we keep something called "tznius" in regards for how to dress. Two parts of the body that we definitely don't need to cover up are the face and the hands. Those features are considered important to knowing the person on an emotional level. Building on what several people said about women having emotional attraction rather than physical attraction, and women focusing on face, eyes, and hands, it makes sense!!

[@leomcshizzlepjocastdeserve1631]

actually what makes the mr darcy hand scene attractive is the risk during the time period you werent supposed to touch the opposite gender outside of the correct circumstances in that instance he broke protocol

[@rein.drops_]

“My audience is made up primarily of women” CUZ WE LOVE YOU COOPER!!

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Okay no but your thirst trap was perfection, when you ran your fingers through your hair I literally shivered 😅

[@missmischief9732]

What's visually and mentally stimulating to women is very different from our male counterparts but alot of women also have a difference of opinion on what they as individuals find stimulating

[@amila_]

Idk why but this entire video has been so relaxing without you even trying lol ASMR gaze fr

[@morningcoffeesubs9008]

I honestly knew nothing about Kevin when I saw his viral video on my feed of him changing expressions to seem more confident. And yes, this video alone was great in my opinion. A man with duality can be attractive. A man that is not necessarily fitting into the beauty standard but carrying himself with confidence is attractive. I didn't question why a lot of people found him hot just from that video alone. From what I saw now, I'm also not confused why a lot of people turn against him. There's no bigger turn off than being an asshole 😅 But I guess a confident man (no matter the look) with good intentions he acts upon is (at least in my personal opinion) the perfect example for the female gaze.

[@ithinkiknowme6450]

Exactly

[@BlackpilledSaihara]

A man who is not conventionally attractive can only fit female gaze only if he is white. If he was south asian for example everyone would shame and make fun of him.

[@christianoronaldo623]

Attractive=confidence Unarrative =arrogance

[@myself2noone]

Sometimes I watch videos like this and I wonder how much of this is something someone believes, and how much of it is just regurgitating words that are currently fashionable.

[@tannie375]

The Hemsworth and loki thing is so real istg. Was watching loki s2 and him just walking up to a guy threateningly... he ate that shit up

[@RannaIsis]

there is nothing wrong with half-naked handsome guy but THAT HAND FLEX

[@justinaacuriouswanderer1496]

4:48 OMG. You couldn't be more accurate

[@miamcnally4256]

As a woman I view the female gaze as our emotional attraction towards men which I honestly think is more important because if I see a man that is conventionally attractive but is arrogant or immature I can acknowledge their physical attractiveness but I could never be attracted to them

[@GulfbeachMateo]

"Emotional attraction" That's such a remarkable Bullshit characterization. Women didn't go see Magic Mike to check our romantic loving fathers.

[@autumnatic]

The ones that were tens before they opened their mouth...

[@shaktimishra9710]

I am sure that if a man isn't attractive and still have emotional intelligence you will still reject them. Guys it's dumb to pretend that looks doesn't play big roles in relationship.

[@rainydaymusique]

THE PORTRAIT OF THE LADY ON FIRE IS SO GOOD I love you for recommending it 😭

[@isabellariquetti2410]

Agree with you in everything. I think what Kevin can portrait more is how confidence can change how people view you. I don't think he becomes attractive, but it becomes less unattractive. Maybe because not long ago boys were all like "wanna go out with me? no right? why would you ever go out with someone like me" and that lack of confidence is a huge turn down for most of the confident woman

[@sabrinabailey8950]

the backdrop of your videos is the epitome of the female gaze. Beautiful 10/10

[@Prior2Popular]

Not all men like the same type of person. Not all women like the same type of person. I think that settles the whole thing. There’s no formula to being “the perfect man every woman wants to date” and vice versa. Everyone is different.

[@FencingMessiah]

It's about the majority. There are patterns to human behavior and the majority of men and women are attracted to certain traits. Ignoring that is kinda ridiculous

[@HollyHargreaves]

I'm attracted to Nick Kroll, you nailed that one

[@energiesolaire5738]

This sentence sums up what I don't like personally about masculine personality traits : "If it’s there, you might as well enjoy it and take it until it doesn’t work anymore and then perhaps abuse it.". It's nice when it is about free stuffs in a hotel room but when it comes to people and playing with their feelings or women's sentimental distress, that's a huge DON'T. It's not because you can that you should, guys. A true gentleman says NO a lot and that's why we love hanging out with him. RESPECT is the key.

[@I3youzfrvr]

THE WAY JD IS LITERALLY MY PFP 😭😭😭😭

[@bluehorizon17]

I feel like Euphoria's Rue and Jules is a good example of female gaze, i always enjoyed by their wholesome and pure freliendship-turned-relationship, and always teared up when they were hurting

[@milfsloverr]

nah they are obviously made for the male gaze. They are over sexualized, like yes most people in the show but dont forget that they are in a lesbian relationship, and most lesbians on medias are sexualized and made for men. I could name lots of examples. Plus the entirety of jules persona is about men, being accepted and liked by strangers who are men rather than her own best friend n then girlfriend rue. Their whole relationship seems fake and as much as i like euphoria i dont think they should be an example of female gaze,again, more male gaze imo.

[@luckysmom51]

I audibly gasped at 3:04 “Cooper”shocked at what I’ve seen

[@unofficialDetective]

But Loki is just sexier than Thor, it’s not that difficult to understand.

[@bbqueeno.o]

No but seriously that video of yours popped up on my shorts feed and I was like daaaaamn cooper helloo 😳

[@ianisimo]

the male gaze is just the idea that because of the patriarchy media will often carry these masculine ideal and the female gaze is when WOMEN create the media not necessarily about the object being attractive

[@MP-yo2fx]

You were made for this!!! You are so amazing

[@raspberrytoffee]

The living embodiment of the female gaze is, *absolutely*, allowed to have a take on the female gaze xD

[@AngelsPrefer_Yae]

love how real cooper is, specially when he just outed his own thirst traps and didn’t pretend like “I would never do that!” yk what else is real, the captions corrected every time cooper said “Female gaze” to “female gays”

[@autumnatic]

Was he outing himself or just doing it again... because it worked. lol

[@AngelsPrefer_Yae]

@@autumnatic real

[@owethudlamini5259]

I think he really explained it well from my perspective why it stopped working. It worked for the first video because he was confident without knowing he would get a good response, like an underdog. But it lost its fire because he started doing it thinking we will hype him up… like nah… sometimes you only lucky once.. and I think he tried you drag it on for so long

[@jdb6026]

I think that if the male gaze is supposed to sexually objectify a woman, the female gaze is supposed to objectify a man security-wise. For folks who still don’t get the latter, it’s seeing him as an object of security and as disposable.

[@hollyhedges1486]

I think the best way for me to understand female vs male gaze is woman fall in love with what they hear and men fall in love with what they see and I know that’s not always necessarily true but I realized this when I was talking to my friends about having crushes on people with the same gender as us and the guys always say they would date like huge ripped guys and I think it’s because that’s what they think woman want but all we really want is someone that looks at us like a human and not an object I think also men need to realize that saying they would never be friends with a woman is such a red flag I’ve seen multiple guys say how they only talk to woman when they are trying to date them which is the exact opposite of what woman most of the time want at least in my experience because that automatically makes us feel like you view us as an object and not another person I think a good song that also made me realize this was we’ll never have sex by Leigh Ross it just explains how I know a lot of woman feel and guys just don’t realize also if you’re trying to get a girls attention treat them like how you treat everyone else like one of your guy friends because it makes you seem so much more confident we don’t want guys to chase us because it makes them seem desperate and like they get no female attention and people are attracted to people that seem wanted These are just my opinions and advice so you don’t have to listen to any of it hopefully it made sense have a good day

[@JaydenConnors]

Dont cap. All yall girls run away if a guy has female friends cos YOU'RE the one who gets insecure.

[@hollyhedges1486]

@@JaydenConnors nah I really don’t care unless the guy flirts with them or something

[@JaydenConnors]

@@hollyhedges1486 i was talking about most girls. Also most guys get chilly if their girl got guys around too, so it aint gender specific. Guys have guy friends and girls have girl friends because they are the most similar. If not having opposite sex friends is a red flag then most people around us are red flags.

[@hollyhedges1486]

@@JaydenConnors why is it a red flag if they don’t flirt with them

[@JaydenConnors]

@@hollyhedges1486 It's not a red flag to have opposite sex friends. It's just that if you go see the friends circle of either gender then most probably it's only gonna be filled with their same gender. So it isn't a red flag of a guy only has male friends or vice versa

[@martian_prince4099]

shout out to you for calling urself out. Cringing at ur own thirst traps is so real

[@justheretoventok6302]

2:00 not me screaming "PLEASE USE YOURSELF AS EXAMPLE" at my phone while my familie stays at my place TwT

[@RS_mamf]

Hearing you talk about this.. then simply looking at you. It’s an interesting conversation. Because whether this is you naturally or an act, Ur clearly utilizing the female gaze to help ur channel. From the way you dress to the things you talk about, this channel is clearly ‘for women’

[@christinalynn1206]

This video was so refreshing! Especially since it was made by a man who didn't just complain that the female gaze is "impossible to please." I do definitely feel like the popularization of the femals gaze, especially on social media, has opened up another door for men to try to exploit. This is not at all our fault, of course, but the fault of the nasty men that will go to great lengths to try (and usually fail) at attracting women.

[@painunending4610]

It does feel impossible to please sometimes. It's all so nebulous. I'm a man and no woman has ever been attracted to me an honestly it's something I want. I would like to be desired, but to do so I would have to act in a way that isn't natural to who I am Honestly reading about the female gaze makes me wanna hurt myself sometimes. I know you don't wanna hear this, nobody does, but I don't think I can keep these feelings inside any longer

[@domjoannou8516]

@@painunending4610 buddy do you need to talk to someone

[@colemacgrath2005]

@@domjoannou8516 nah he’s right

[@domjoannou8516]

@@colemacgrath2005 ok still doesn't mean he doesn't need to talk but are you also ok buddy

[@Maya_hee]

@@painunending4610 I am not sure if you would feel comfortable doing this but I would like to ask: What comes to naturally to who you are? How would you be deviating from that if you decided to try and be desirable to women? Are these questions that you can somehow answer for yourself?

[@kiuura]

portrait of a lady on fire is SO GOOD AAAAA

[@Solararisa]

I think the fem gaze is generally any character who aren't afraid embrace their femininity. Male gazey content is often super focused on portraying male characters in a masculine way and female characters in an objectifying way, in turn portraying their femininity in a negative way.

[@FencingMessiah]

We both objectify each other for different traits. No gender is above the other when it comes to this

[@uvunitos71]

Holy shit man. I watched the movie you recommended and now I’m in tears

[@h.j8496]

As a woman : (for me at least) I find intelligence and class very attractive. A true gentleman. Someone who makes us as women feel seen in a safe and respectful way. Not as some object to be won. We are just women who want to be respected. Also men don’t have to be barely clothed to be attractive, full suits and formal wear is so hot to me.

[@da_twink8989]

FAX SPEAK OUR TRUTH GURL

[@thisisntallowed9560]

The opposite of degenerate, narcissistic and stupid

[@catoschuitemaker708]

I loved that you talked about the portrait of the lady on fire!! Saw it a couple of weeks ago and thought it was so good :)

[@keepperspective]

You’re not wrong-confidence is sexy but expectation is icky. Weird line.

[@rachamanda13]

the way I gasped when you mentioned portrait of a lady on fire, one of my bisexual awakening movies lol love that movie!

[@elenalawrence215]

I'm bisexual and non-binary but my biological sex is female, so I understand female gaze to a certain degree even though not all females like the same thing. Just an example of used to explain it is how one point in time a guy likes me and he worked out a lot and went to the gym and kind of had the idea of what women liked but in reality that idea was based off of the male gaze and I did not find him attractive in anyway. Compare that to my boyfriend who I'm currently in a relationship with, the first thing I noticed is how kind he was and how much he took care of his guitar because it was something that he cared about he also has an amazing sense of humor and a great understanding for everyone he interacts with but IDK if that's just my experience with the female gaze

[@Moon-nn8id]

off topic but i love the paintings and overall design of ur background

[@Nope-ldcanymore]

to my fellow women; is it just me or is Cooper make you feel safe and comfortable? Like a hot friend you can just laugh with. Idk why hes just strangly comforting, and makes me feel a little less alone in my head

[@harrehloueh4539]

yes, hes like my comfort youtuber. hes calm, careing, nice and self aware. hes also very gentle but funny so hes like the definition of the female gaze in my opinion. idrk what it is ab him but i feel like him and i could hold a conversation for hours and i wouldnt feel uncomfortable like i would feel safe yk

[@Nope-ldcanymore]

@@harrehloueh4539 no you’re absolutely correct, definitely the female gaze

[@luxborealis]

Not sure if I should be appalled at the absolute thirst in the comments or how sad it is that our society puts women in a position where a person simply being safe to be vulnerable around is an attractive feature.

[@amesossi]

i think you hit the nail on the head honestly! also, i loooove portrait of a lady on fire. perfect example of the female gaze!!!!

[@_dowob_]

man i just want a hug

[@amybow]

🫂

[@Sore-Looser]

....you will never have love

[@abbybourgeois7472]

you understand. you understand.

[@ME-wl3st]

Can we agree that female gaze is the guys in "Supernatural". Or Dean or Sammy or Cas. Period!

[@CoLiCoVis]

Ok I’m kinda late to the party but I always loved a simplified look into the female gaze in Tarzan. Specifically when Jane draws him and expresses her admiration for his eyes. Look up the scene you’ll know what I’m talking about

[@AaraBeloved]

my ex used to say i was weird for liking certain things he did that showed his personality I understand now that theres a difference of attraction- what he expected others to be attracted to vs what i expected others to be attracted to. Maybe this has to do with female and male gaze but I really think its more so with how these binary genders have been raised and what we are meant to expect as attractive.

[@gracesnow2154]

THE WEEZER AT THE BEGGINING IM WHEEZING

[@ffsno9078]

Most women are attracted to usual body parts. Men think it is the chest or even the d, but often its something weird. Like for me it's the forearms. With Loki it's the smirk. For a friend of mine, it's the wings. Another goes crazy at the sight of the inside hip dip.

[@rosegold-sc6fp]

I'm so glad you popped up on my KZbin shorts. Immediately subscribed. Love your content and can't wait for your channel to blow the fuck up!!

[@amarilismelendez7878]

What is beauty but in the eyes of the beholder. Regardless of gender. What's wrong is the perversion of thoughts while gazing. Through the eyes carries the window to the soul and source to witness information. What is love and what is lust. What is sin and what is virtue, this, within the many souls that live on this earth. What is being human and gazing through our eyes. Maybe adopting the Dog Gaze is the best course of action for humanity xD. Will it be any different from how we gaze at things? Will it change how we perceive ourselves? Stick around and find out. (You don't need eyes to perceive, even the blind can dream.) Idk. I Liked the video, made me think of all of these questions regarding what is the female or male gaze.

[@taryn6901]

Watching this video compared to your more recent ones, it’s really cool to see how your confidence has evolved on camera in just a few short months! I’m excited to see you grow as a KZbinr and commentary channel :)

[@DansEarway]

Nick “SON of Jules” Kroll 4:02

[@tyriaxepheles7996]

Male gaze is a feminist theory of female objectification in art and psychology (later there was also a film theory). It's about women being seen and men doing the seeing. Women being objects, men being actors. It's not about "this is what men find sexy and this is what women find sexy." It was a term used to describe a power imbalance. Female gaze does not exist and thats the point.