weaponised incompetence 2

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[@veggiesnake4430]

"Well, do you know what I've cooked for the last nine months? YOUR KID." Sorry, but she ate him up with that line. Queen material.

[@falconstudios146]

That's a fucking roast.

[@camo.0w0]

​@@falconstudios146 underrated comment 10/10

[@BlehBlahBlegh]

If she was a real queen she’d dump this loser

[@BB-TheCandleFairy]

@@falconstudios146this was just as brilliant as her comeback ong she definitely gave him that roast he wanted

[@maryschwartz5500]

I just had a t style c section and I swear if my husband talked that way to me he would be in the oven, it takes at least 6 weeks of recovery did he not listen to her doctors?

[@silenteye9547]

spending 3 hours cleaning a single cup while your wife cleans the whole house and then saying you're helping is wild

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Men need to realize that they have as much responsibility as much as women do. Instead of “helping”, they need to do. Instead of “babysitting”, they need to be a father, etc. The bar is so low.

[@silenteye9547]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 It starts from an early age,, Girls are expected by default to help around the house, cooking cleaning ext, while boys- even only children, don't have that same expectation

[@StarDust1000000]

It's a big cup

[@StarDust1000000]

It's a big cup

[@squibkib]

​@@StarDust1000000not an excuse.

[@AstarothFox]

Too few people realize birth includes the loss of a whole ass organ, alongside the baby. Placenta is a whole ass shared organ. That is huge trauma.

[@nat.dorenvic]

I couldn't agree more. Not a woman, but a person with a uterus here - i have tokophobia and all of what you mentioned are some of the reasons behind that fear. Also - p3nises disgust me, abortion rulings are non-existent in Poland and THE PHYSICAL and MENTAL TOLL it takes for a ZYGOTE, a single cell(!), to develop into a multicellular organism! I LEARNT THAT SO MANY YEARS AGO, AND IVE BEEN IN AWE SINCE.

[@liviwaslost]

Plus, all the bleeding after.

[@ndawn90]

​@@liviwaslostBecause there's literally a gigantic, open wound on the inside of the uterus where the placenta was. The average placenta is 10" (22 cm) in diameter, which means that's how big of a wound it leaves behind.

[@ashoalcraft4404]

And then the horrific cramps with the stabbing pains as your uterus shrinks back to size. That was so, so much worse than giving birth.

[@pineapplepapercrafts]

My husband was floored when our midwife said it was like recovering from an internal shotgun wound. I honestly didn't even know until I was told. I'm so thankful my partner is helpful and wants to be a good dad and support for me and our kids. These men are children.

[@JamieLBW]

That woman is probably still wearing a diaper to soak up all the blood and fluids still, not to mention your hips and back huuuurt. Plus if she's breastfeeding oof. I can't even with that man

[@alex._420]

Fr like, here organs are literaly putting themselves back into place 💀 men istg

[@mangledfoxy2052]

Men say women aren’t as strong as them when I know damn well most, if not all, of those men, wouldn’t be able to get through pregnancy, birth, and raising a child the way they expect women to

[@gothickittenlovesblo]

my literal vagina ripped from having my baby. I had stitches for about 2 weeks and holy shit its so painful. I could barely walk!

[@KireiC]

I hope to GROD this is an account faking an outrageous conflict for clicks. Because it being real is SO gross. After giving birth you need *at least* a few days of easygoing. I LOVE cooking, and I wasn't up to full blown meal prep for weeks postpartum. Luckily my husband knows how to cook (and also spent all of my labor and birth right by my side so he KNOWS it takes a crazy toll on the body).

[@gothickittenlovesblo]

same, it did seem staged but ive heard some horror stories of shit like this. Hell my own father thought it would be funny to smack me on the bottom 3 days after giving birth with stitches in my vagoo. I almost passed out and my gma about beat him to death in the parking lot@@KireiC

[@IAmContemporary]

So men are really out there trying to convince us that they can’t cook/clean/take care of kids because ‘you didn’t ask and I don’t know how’, but they can HAVE A JOB? Do you go to work every day and just sit around until someone explicitly asks you to do a task? “John, why aren’t you delivering the letter?” “No one asked me to 🤷🏻” “You’re a mailman, John, it’s implied.”

[@duqial]

Yeah and that's a child argument not a grown man. I hope more people talk about sharing chores and who takes care of what before deciding to move in together

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@duqial The moving-in, finances, marriage, and parent talks need to be had before anyone makes serious commitments with another person. Even if one doesn’t want to get married or have kids feelings can change, and stuff can happen.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@duqial​​⁠ The moving-in, finances, marriage, and parent talks need to be had before anyone makes serious commitments with another person. Even if one doesn’t want to get married or have kids feelings can change, and stuff can happen.

[@sylth4103]

if a man doesn’t know how to cook or clean and has his spouse doing all the work he should at least be bringing in a good and stable income for his spouse. cleaning and cooking is a full time JOB especially when you have kids. but men can’t even do that these days, then expect their wives to WORK and have a FULL TIME job at home. there’s a reason woman back then stayed home people don’t give enough credit to how hard it is to take care of children and keep the house decent. if you think you can have a full-time job and have enough time to take care of the house without help, you’re sorely mistaken.

[@queerantine69]

​@@sylth4103just cleaning a small portion of the house exhausts me for a day so yep

[@brinagotsued]

First story: 1. Husband fixes dinner 2. His parents fixes dinner 3. Divorce!

[@iyanutookoo]

i have a feeling it’s rage bait bc wtf

[@3zra._.]

@@iyanutookoome too, but it looks like the camera is rather concealed so maybe it’s not? Idk I’m hoping it’s bait

[@KatherineAcosta20]

@@iyanutookoo Might be bait, but I've known way too many men like that guy so I kinda doubt it, although the people I know in that type of relationship usually are ashamed to show that side in social media...

[@Vampress09]

@@iyanutookoo Yep me too! Not that it doesn't happen but it's probably not this convenient to record and post it.

[@Peaches2456]

@@iyanutookooit is! I watched the entire video. At the end, they explain it’s a skit. People have only been posting parts of it either unaware that this is a skit or attempting to rage bait

[@dandydylan4012]

I’m not sure if it’s the same outside of America, but here “doing a roast” takes literal hours no matter what method of cooking it you use, not to mention the prep involved before you even put the thing in to cook. It’s insane he expects her to prep an entire roast, no matter the size, 48 hours after going through severe bodily trauma and being in the hospital, not even to mention that it was GIVING BIRTH TO AN ENTIRE HUMAN. If he wants a roast so bad for his parents and “sucks” so much at it, literally just look up a recipe with instructions and try your best to LEARN not to suck. The audacity of that man

[@Falcodrin]

What? Throw a random hunk of meat in a crockpot with water, frozen pearl onions, carrots and potatoes in very rough chunks, you can season with whatever you want then just leave it for 8 hours.

[@sophisticatedPJs]

@@Falcodrin afaik usually where I live "making a roast" refers to cooking one large piece of meat in the oven with marinades and a lot of prep beforehand (which then requires keeping an eye on the internal temperature to make sure it doesn't over or undercook), such as a whole turkey, whole chicken, large cut of beef, large ham, etc. (typically as an "impressive" centerpiece dish to make for special holidays/when you have guests over) rather than cooking something in small pieces or throwing something together in a crock pot. a POTroast would be what you're describing, which isn't what he asked for. It may just be a miscommunication between cultures and local terminology though. (but even so it's terrible to ask someone who just went through the physical trauma of going to the hospital and pushing a human out of their privates two days ago to cook for you, even if it's a simple meal, in an age where you can have literally any food you can imagine delivered to your door at the push of a button. if it's a simple recipe, he can do it.)

[@LilChuunosuke]

​@@Falcodrin idk where tf youre from but that does NOT sound like a roast

[@liviwaslost]

@@Falcodrinbrother where is the garlic?! That ain’t no roast

[@yotuba9493]

That sounds more like something you would eat when you give up and want to die via bad cooking. Not a roast ​@@Falcodrin

[@WynnWynn-gl3fk]

Cleaning is an adult job, not a woman’s job. It is for males too and the same with the cooking.

[@chaosdisembodied5483]

Even then, I'm a minor and I help clean the house. It's a life skill that everyone should do

[@phoenixsinclair2959]

It start in childhood if your parents love and chose to raise you..

[@MAndSquared]

⁠@@phoenixsinclair2959Yeah, teach them before they reach adulthood so they aren’t left floundering when they’re living on their own for the first time. It doesn’t even need to be often. Just at least enough so that they know what to do themselves

[@jordanaultman8423]

@@MAndSquaredas someone currently floundering living alone yup! I love having to google how to clean my own floors

[@teddyjlockwood]

I'm a 20 year old guy, and I live with two of my sisters since our parents moved away. I find it really hard to notice that chores need to be done because of my neurodivergency, so I often just didn't do many around the house. But then my sister came to me and told me that they've been frustrated with the fact that I haven't been doing a lot of chores, and so I've been making conscious efforts to do better. It did mean that I had to learn both how to do some stuff and how they wanted it done (because apparently I didn't finish them to the point that I was supposed to, but I didn't know that until they told me) Yes, it's really sucky doing chores, but it's just part of living as adults, especially if you're living with other people. There's also things one can do to try to make it less horrible. Like personally I prefer to do chores while home alone and listening to whatever music or show I want, as loud as I want, without being disturbed. It's not always possible for that to happen, but knowing things to make it better really helps. I also hate touching cleaning supplies and the water used for hand washing dishes, so I got gloves to wear

[@trcsunny2187]

Her mother in law should be cooking and bringing food to them. I always did that when my grandchildren were born. I stopped at the store and picked up groceries too. New moms shouldn’t be expected to entertain family.

[@SLYKM]

This exactly!

[@dionysus_adores]

100% doctors say you pushed out a kid so you gotta take it easy for a long while. Mil can at least cook if she's gonna drop by

[@elleumm]

If my parents were visiting, and his wife made a roast 2 days after giving birth, my mom would be appalled. Like she’d probably throw everyone out of the kitchen, and then give him a serious lecture about medical advice. My grandmother would have been far worse- she’d have started shouting, told him exactly what kind of man she thought he was, and then ordered him out of his own house altogether. So I hope his mother would actually be at least a little outraged.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@elleumm The mother probably condoned this, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she had to entertain her in-laws after giving birth either. I’ve heard this is a normal dynamic in certain religious and cultural settings.

[@deea3586]

The father in law AND mother in law should be the one cooking and brining food. Let’s not give these men a pass no matter what generation.

[@SephyMac]

“You do it much better than I do.” You know what’ll help you get better at making a roast? Practice. Go make the roast!

[@KatieBeij]

Like, does he think she was born knowing how to make a delicious roast? She took time to learn how and he can as well

[@LaMara-vv2wq]

There's also plenty of meats he can cook that isn't a roast beef.

[@bigjedimullet]

“You do it better than I do” only works if it’s an equivalent exchange. Like, “you cook eggs better than I do but I’m a better baker, so if you make the eggs and I make the bread we can have a great breakfast together”.

[@strawberry_punch_art]

" Would you rather have a mediocre roast or none at all? Cause that are the options here. I'm not offering to make it."

[@mentally_ill_cat]

Why aren't the grandparents bringing dinner for the newly parents... grandma should know how tired she is. If my child had a baby I'd totally cook a few meals for them... why isn't that a thing for family to do for new parents.

[@melissabennett6571]

I thought the entire reason people visit new parents is to bring them food and give them an opportunity to like shower and/or sleep.

[@1013avalancha]

💯 My thoughts too. Sounds like there’s a reason their son is an inconsiderate demanding individual.

[@lizcollinson2692]

To be fair we don't know the in laws expectations. They may just want to see their grand child. They may not be expecting food, they may still bring food.

[@Beautiful6776]

You'd be surprised at how many grandmas would still take the son's side and make the newly mother feel bad. Especially if they're one of those women "back in my day, I could feed my husband and my 4 children even though I was tired and blah blah".

[@kamilareeder1493]

I dont want to jump to conclusions at all. Im hoping that grandma and grandpa can and will, he just hasn't asked them to help because he is trying to bully her. Im sorry, but I think he must literally hate her and the baby 💀💀💀

[@JamieLBW]

I realized I was guilty of weaponized incompetence when I woke my husband up early because the Internet was out before even trying to do simple troubleshooting that I know how to do. My husband is the IT guy, so I just got used to him doing all things tech for me. But upon realizing this, I've stopped waiting for him to do IT stuff for me, and started hanging up my own shelves too. If I need help, I know I can go to him because he's a caring partner. But I need to remember I'm capable too!

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

This was beautiful.

[@KireiC]

That's awesome - so good to grow like this.

[@duqial]

My grandma is a specialist at doing things herself and I admire that about her. She literally would do a whole flat renovation by herself, painting the walls, putting furniture together etc. or demolish a barn with her own hands if my grandpa didn't stop her 😂

[@fionafiona1146]

I watch a KZbin channel by a Vietnamese woman in Germany and she literally made a video about the strength she gained just because people thought she could try things sexism took out of her hands back in Vietnam (carrying things beyond 10 pounds, hanging her own self, building IKEA furniture

[@phoenixdarkmoon8040]

I confronted my husband about this one morning. I get crippling migraines sometimes. I'm on 4 different medications to treat them. 2 preventatives and 2 abortificants. On this particular day I had taken them all and was still in agony and my husband had woken me up several times for things he could have easily done. Brushing our 8 year old's hair, changing our 3 year old's diaper. The third time he woke me to give our children their medications. (Daughter is on prozac for anxiety son has ADHD) and I snapped that he was a PHARMACY TECHNICIAN he is FULLY CAPABLE of measuring out the liquid medications to give to our children. That I understand that its usually something I do because I'm usually the one gwtting them ready for school in the morning but that he KNOWS how much pain I was in and that I needed to rest so why did he keep waking me for things he's able to do even if he doesnt do it exactly the same as me?

[@triciad4100]

I guaran-friggin-TEE that first dude's idea of "looking after the baby" (while she unwillingly cooks food for HIS PARENTS) is playing on his phone next to the crib and handing her the kid every time they so much as sneeze, because "you're so much better at it than I am!" ETA: 23:15 I know exactly the eggs he's whining about off the top of my head, and I've never even tried them. But he can't remember what the egg carton in his own damn fridge looks like?

[@Koy_txt]

Fr- like bro can’t take anything serious for more than 2 seconds 😭😭

[@ChaosTheoriesLux]

It's not like there's anyone he can ask at the store or check the supermarkets app. Or even order it to his house. So many ways to not be incompetent yet he decides to broadcast it online.

[@triciad4100]

@@ChaosTheoriesLux RIGHT?! Literally every supermarket app has a list feature where you can see a damn picture of the thing you're looking for. And curbside pickup is free in a lot of stores too. It must take some real effort to be that useless.

[@emwatson8032]

I bought those eggs on accident when I went to the store by myself and brought shame to the household (I’m the wife - my husband is the shopper/cook)

[@triciad4100]

@@emwatson8032 I bet they were delicious though. They'd better be when you have to sell an organ to afford them. 😂

[@rembbokie]

The guy in the beginning literally could have just ordered some food online, picked it up himself, or asked his parents to pick it up on their way over. You’d think they’d totally be up for helping them out since their daughter in law just gave birth. But considering they raised that man, maybe they wouldn’t be willing to do that. Btw I love your giant Leebit with the pride flag :] And your makeup looks great, you’re beautiful!

[@SLYKM]

I'm pretty sure he learned it from those parents. Sometimes mothers don't want their boy to do work that she had to do for his father.

[@juliaboskamp9666]

That was what i'm saying most grandparents don't care that they don't have a homemade meal when they come over to see they grandbaby for the first time they just want to hold their grandchild

[@SuprousOxide]

I bet he could have asked his mother and she would have done the cooking

[@olinartz9526]

That’s what I’m thinking! Cant you order things like roasts on doordash or something? Please correct me if I have that wrong btw, I don’t use DoorDash or really order food to my home

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@olinartz9526 Depends if the restaurants in your area make roasts. Either way, you’re right. The dad or MIL could have gotten Door Dash for whatever restaurant is available in the area. There is no reason why a mom who just gave birth should be cooking and entertaining family. Another solution would be for the MIL and dad to make a roast since they wanted it so bad. It takes 2-3 hours, and could have been started while the mom and baby took an afternoon nap.

[@personofthetao]

I remember a joke I was told a while ago: A man runs to his girlfriend one day and says: "this will sound crazy babe, but I think the table in the living room is magic!" "What? What do you mean?" "Well, whenever I leave something on it, such as my beer cans, my magazines or my dishes, the next time I'm in the room they disappear! And the cans are in the recycling, my magazines are stacked neatly in the corner and the dishes are in the washer! It's the craziest thing!" The girlfriend stares at him for a moment. "You're joking." "No, I'm not! That table is truly magical, I swear to you! It's incredible!" A week later, the man calls the cops. "Hello? Yes, my girlfriend has been missing for a week now! And all her stuff has disappeared with her!...*gasp*... maybe she sat on the table..."

[@catlover2223]

😂😂😂😂

[@user-guigui01]

I want to have that table to travel. 😂😂😂😂

[@theresepankey9978]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@EieiExamplEeiEi]

Ahahhaaha I love this one

[@deea3586]

The guy who expects his wife who just gave birth to make roast for guests coming over is infuriating. I could only imagine how difficult that lady’s life would be if she stays with her husband. Actually all the men in the video were all enraging. I hope we don’t continue to normalize this behavior from men. We need to start calling these men out more seriously.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

We’ve been calling out this behavior. Other men need to step up and call out this behavior because men who sue weaponized incompetent usually don’t care what we say, but they’ll listen to their male peers.

[@deea3586]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 you’re right, one half of the population can’t do it on their own, we need the other half to start waking up from patriarchy and start demonstrating and preaching what it means to be a good human. They need to realize the world would be so much better if they weren’t spending so much time oppressing the other half.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

⁠​⁠@@deea3586 The funny thing about the patriarchy is it was created by men, but also hurts men, but they’d rather blame us for the system instead of calling out the system en mass. It’s so frustrating because the sender is clear, but as you said the other half needs to wake-up, and I don’t think they ever truly will.

[@deea3586]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809I hope they do wake up. I hadn’t really fully grasped the gravity of the situation we’re in and only vaguely knew of the term patriarchy but understand more now after hearing so many stories of other women. I feel I lived so many lives through them and been finding a lot of similarities to my own experiences too. I’m trying to figure out ways to channel my rage into something productive that I can do in real time no matter how small, knowing what I know now, to change how I interact with others, when things happen as demonstrated in the video, to challenge that norm we’ve come to just ignore and just shrug off. Let me know if you have any suggestions like action steps to lessen the helplessness I sometimes feel when dealing with issues like these.

[@juliaboskamp9666]

This is the reason why many women make the choice to stay single and be childfree, because they have seen what their mother had to deal with. And why more and more men say they are lonely, because many women have made the choice to not suffer the same way their other female relatives did

[@mattrose99]

Whenver I see grown men who cant clean I just remember how my dad was in charge of keeping up the outside, my mom the inside. But when something needed to be cleaned inside he did it and knew how to do it well. My mom complained that when she was very pregnant he didnt let her clean at all, he told her to rest and finished whatever she was doing. Growing up I cant say I ever saw thier workload being uneven, even when my mom was a SAHM once he was off work it was time for him to be with his kids

[@Tree-House69]

Legit wish I knew a single cis man like that IRL, I know a chunk who at least aren't being intentionally malicious with their incompetence and unwillingness, but they still are nonetheless.

[@HallowIsSmol]

your dad sounds awesome.

[@catsareexcellent]

Your dad sounds like a lovely and amazing person

[@maddieb.4282]

@@Tree-House69my dad was a stay at home dad and my boyfriends have all been extremely responsible, empathetic and competent. You definitely can find them, just start looking for higher quality men and raise your standards for yourself so you also have something amazing to offer the right person

[@Loxalair]

What kills me about the "my wife stopped cleaning" tiktok is that at no point in the video does he ever touch any of the mess. He's just marvelling at how messy it is. Alright then sir, maybe. Pick up something. And wash it.And it'll be magically less messy

[@HaruDoneYet]

The first one reminds me of the guys who get minor medical procedures done and insist they have to stay off their feet for a week when in reality they could go back to daily life in the next day or so. But when his partner has a major medical event she’s expected to be on her feet cooking after 2 days. He just seems like that type of guy.

[@juliaboskamp9666]

Yeah he reminds me of my dad when my mom was pregnant with me she got pregnancy diabetes and he still expect her to do everything in the house because she was on maternity leave She ask him to wash his own working clothes because she was tired but still he didn't do it and because of that she fell of the stairs when she was heavily pregnant with me

[@dellybird5394]

Yep. Tons of new dads that act like they're the first person to ever experience sleep deprivation while their wives are going through the same thing PLUS healing a dinner plate sized wound in their uterus and passing massive blood clots. Bonus points if she's breastfeeding. Sleep deprivation is very rough, but it comes with the territory. If you don't want to deal with that, don't have a baby.

[@catrakitten]

Personally, I believe that society has made men lazy. Men are given everything they wanted like the spoiled brats that they are while women are expected to do all the work and be a certain way. And I'm loving the earrings and makeup. The earrings remind me of Catra.

[@RagnarokLoki2012]

Society has absolutely made men lazy. I'm a transmasc non-binary person, and I've seen it from so many different perspectives: women have been pushed to be so much more different than their female ancestors, while men have never been pushed to change. Men are very similar to their fathers and grandfathers. And people wonder why heterosexual relationships these days can be so miserable: a woman who works, cleans/cooks, keeps house, and takes care of any children, with a man who works and... sees that as his only job. What a joke straight cis men are...

[@kentalacrucia]

Man here. Stuff like this disgusts me. My mother made damn sure I knew how to care for myself before she died. I can cook, clean, whatever. I'm not going to make someone do it for me. I'm a grown ass man. These people are grown ass men. They can take care of their selves. It's really not that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm a lazy fuck. I always have been since I was child. But I have never and will never expect someone to do something for me because I can't be bothered. This stuff makes my blood boil.

[@tofoo1]

Men are not given everything they want in ANY way. Do you think men want to go to work at a job they hate? No, but it has to be done to put food on the table

[@skrunklington]

this 100% also i think as a society we give men and boys little to no consequences for their misbehavior. (with the whole "boys will be boys" mentality.) while we praise them for doing the absolute bare minimum shit like cleaning, cooking...hell, even just HELPING with those things. actually taking care of themselves, being a decent parent?? like bro you don't deserve praise you're SUPPOSED to do these things. it's actually so baffling how we as a society expect so little from men and so much more from women.

[@tofoo1]

Honestly think it deleted my reply lmao cant see it

[@Tomoitochan]

I had an ex -boyfriend that lived with some friends(a couple) but every weekend he would pick his dirty clothes and take to his mother to do the laundry; so I asked him why he didn't do it by himself, he had a washing machine. He told me he "didn't know how to do the laundry, the settings and everything" and I said "If you can look around on the internet with me for tuturials for a game or a bug in my notebook you never saw before you can look one how to do your own laudry". Of course he never did, unfortunatly I don't think he will ever learn, his family is somewhat upper class and I'm sure he will just pay someone to do it. But I do wonder how guys can live without knowing the basics of how to live by yourself.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I literally learned how to wash my own laundry by looking it up on wikihow when I was 13 years old. Nowadays, there are entire KZbin channels dedicated to teaching people basic life skills! Those didnt exist when I was a kid and I still managed to figure it out all on my own.

[@duqial]

His excuses are dumb ngl. I personally don't wanna do the laundry, but I have done it in my life and I know I can figure out any washing machine, I just simply don't want to. Still I hand wash some of my clothes, so my mom doesn't have to. I am a girl btw

[@USSAnimeNCC-]

I have learn to do laundry with my hand because the landlord won't allow laundry or washing machine and some guy have problem with a smiple easy to use machine

[@whitney88b]

Even if you don’t want to do laundry, there are fairly inexpensive wash and fold services all over the place. Even ones with pick up and delivery! Not wanting to learn a new skill is fine, as long as you’re not farming it out to someone without paying for their labor

[@Hawthorn6852]

When I first dated my most recent boyfriend I had dinner at his house and we had this Asian dish that he had supposedly done research for and went to all this work to learn how to make himself. So thinking he knew how to cook, we had cooking dates sometimes. They went terribly because he insisted on following cooking ASMR videos that didn't give all the instructions because you know, the main goal was ASMR, not education. He also was surprised when I said I knew how to make spaghetti. He was like "You know how to make pasta?" I said "um... Yeah it's easy" and then he teared up because "it's not easy if you were never taught". Like there aren't instruction on the bag or something... I ended up finding out his mom did all the cooking, his laundry, and even cleaned his room. As an adult.

[@complainer406]

I'm a wife who asks my husband for praise when I do the dishes 😅 My husband and I both do it whenever we do chores, we've found it's an easy way to make us both feel more appreciated in the relationship

[@SLYKM]

I'm don't ask for praise but I want it. I also don't feel bitter and don't need people to thank me, so it's fine if I don't get praise. But I like how it feels when people are like "wow you put some effort into this." I think maybe it's an inner child thing bc housework has always been a challenge for my family.

[@complainer406]

​@@SLYKM Growing up whenever I'd do a chore my parents' response was always "Why didn't you also do (other chore)?" Definitely had a big effect on me and now a little bit of praise goes a long way in helping me feel motivated

[@gem9535]

I don't think it's wrong to want praise for doing chores and other basic things. Heck, I still like getting praise for doing the dishes, because it makes me feel appreciated, but it's a problem when a partner EXPECTS it and acts like the bare minimum makes them a great partner. That's the issue with me.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@gem9535 That’s the issue I have with praise as well. There’s nothing wrong with saying “thank you” when your partner does something, but doing the bare minimum is not praiseworthy, and it’s rather pathetic to expect praise for doing one’s duty. I e heard stories of men expecting a blowie just cuz they babysat their kids when in reality they should be watching this kids like a father is supposed to and not expect anything in return.

[@Sojo214]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809It’s the expectation of praise, not the praise for the bare minimum itself.

[@Cutiethestuffedmonkey]

My favorite explanation of weaponize incompetence is the episode of liv and Maddie where Parker does things poorly so his mom won’t make him do them and eventually she gets him back by treating him like a baby and not allowing him to do other things he’s not “mature” enough for

[@zadarasimoleons1019]

Perfect. I'd do this. If I can't trust you to look after our children for an afternoon, what makes you think you're capable of driving?

[@Cutiethestuffedmonkey]

@@zadarasimoleons1019 perfect! That seems like a great plan honestly lol!

[@Nekomata_Hybris]

The “when your wife asks you to do something do it shitty so she won’t ask again” thing reminded me of when I was a little kid, me and my twin both had long hair so after a shower my mom would blow dry our hair to get it done before school, and one morning my mom was really busy with something and asked my father to dry my hair while she did my twin’s hair. I was like.. 6 at the time? So he decided put the hairdryer against my head and turned it on full blast, and the hottest setting, burning me. I shrieked, my mom took the hairdryer from him and never had him do my hair again and to this day I have a fear of heated hair appliances (blow driers, curling irons, straighteners etc) the only people I trust with them are myself and my mom. And even then, they still make me nervous.

[@mauirandall8176]

That's super fucked up 🫂

[@haylene7521]

Did you have to go to the hospital to get checked out?

[@Nekomata_Hybris]

@@haylene7521 no, i didn't get like- any serious burns, since it was only like a second before my mom snatched the hairdryer from him. it just hurt like a bitch.

[@catlover2223]

So, he was willing to injure his child so he didn’t have to help again?! I’m sorry! I know that was your father, but that was a SHIT move!

[@buffer_brain1917]

Yeah, my dad has 4 daughters and still has no idea how to do their hair. When he divorced my mom and had to take care of kid me on his own, he found the fact that I’d cry while he dry brushed my curly hair too difficult so he just wouldn’t do it until it matted. Now he’s been divorced (again) and has two more daughters whose hair I have to brush and style when I see them.

[@TheCyancheese]

Even better: the roast wasn’t for him, it was for his parents that he invited over to see the baby.

[@someonewithazeldaprofilephoto]

I'm a physically disabled dude and these men make me so angry!! Like if I had the ability to help around the house I would 100% do so. I wish I had the physical ability to clean up, and to pretend that they can't?? Why?? What the heck. It's just pathetic to be honest. I am so sorry for their girlfriends , wifes and kids..

[@aneurysm2908]

Not to mention that growing up with these fathers has a such a detrimental effect on kids too. As someone that grew up with a father like this it feels as though my father is a stranger and as I've grown up if I was ever left alone with him I would get scared about dinner or if things will ever be clean When it came to being in the house I felt like the most responsible one there as a 12 year old.

[@bottomofastairwell]

Unfortunately, one person just can't do it all, so you're right, it does have the unfortunate effect of parentifying kids, because one of the parents just isn't doing the job. And then, because that kid had to be a grown up as a child, the whole relationship dynamic is unbalanced and potentially unhealthy for both parents. Mom can end up treating the kid like they're way older than they are, treating them more like a partner than a child, which isn't healthy. And dad is just useless, so there's no real relationship there and it feels incredibly unsafe and unstable. Kid grows up and had to unpack that unhealthy family and relationship dynamic for half their damn adult life to unlearn all the damage that was done. And that's WITHOUT any outright abuse or neglect. And people wonder why we're all so damn traumatized

[@Burgercat55]

Yup, same here 😭 i saw my father in many of the tiktoks being presented

[@jennivamp5]

Same here. I was regularly cooking dinner for my family from the age of 12 and was responsible for the laundry much younger than that. I have never seen my father cook anything more complicated than beans on toast and I have not once seen him do a load of laundry in my entire life

[@deadpool1454]

22:43 Okay. I'm the designated grocery runner. It's not hard to recognize the feminine hygiene or even the hygiene products my partner uses. If it is, especially for pads tampons etc, as for the wrapper or the empty box. Also to my bros out there: You will not melt away wicked witch style if you're in those isles

[@ceikaiyiacheeksthedirector2920]

Feel bad for these women being single and raising all these children by themselves

[@tofoo1]

“Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a father”

[@larissam.2299]

Frrr

[@gem9535]

Married, yet still single mothers. What a rip off.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

I don’t. They chose this life, and knew before the wedding that their man was trash. This is why paying attention to red and yellow flags is so important.

[@ceikaiyiacheeksthedirector2920]

@@gem9535 indeed

[@KiwiMiwe]

these men didn't get married because they feel in love and wanted to share the world with someone that they felt was special, they got married because they got spoiled as a child by their mother and wanted someone to treat them like their mother did

[@jamiejam4588]

I’ve even heard of husbands/boyfriends going so far as deliberately ruining their wife’s laundry by adding bleach, purposely going against washing/drying instructions, etc. just so their wives won’t ask them to do laundry again. Of course, miraculously their own clothes are never affected. This whole phenomenon pisses me off to an absurd degree!

[@lizanna6390]

My brother tried to avoid making our mam a cup of tea by making them terribly. It backfired as she decided to respond by giving him practice.

[@JamieLBW]

Thank God my husband is an actual partner and loves our son and prioritizes caring for him and spending time with him.

[@femkefeenstra7754]

First video: that was an act. They admitted it in another video, I don't think they even have kids. But yeah, those partners DO exist unfortunatly...

[@lizcollinson2692]

I guessed that from the first time, because she acted surprised. But I wouldn't be surprised that they were inspired by someone they know.

[@zachanikwano]

Okay, that's why it felt off. Honestly I wish they hadn't done that, now Those People are going to claim any video of a woman recording her man being awful are staged. Fun.

[@softfunkylittledudes9974]

the fact that it was believed by so many people is just telling, cause. yea there are lots of men like that and it’s so depressing

[@wen_and_only]

First one reminds me of a story my mom told me about the time she gave birth to my third sibling. It was a day or two after she had given birth but the process took longer than expected and she was in labor for a couple of days. There were also medical complications involved and the doctors told her after she had given birth to stay under supervision for a few days to make sure everything was alright. My father planned a racquetball day with one of his friends a day very closely following when my mom gave birth but there would be no one to watch me and my other sibling if he went to play with his friends. So what he did is drop my sibling and I off at the hospital and demand that my exhausted mother supervise two young children right after she had just given birth. He would not allow her to say no because he abruptly left and she had no choice but to watch while she was stuck in bed and couldn’t do anything. :/

[@nadjak3410]

Shit my dad would've done in the 90s, too 😶

[@feliciasjoberg9886]

PLEASE tell me they got divorced shortly after that

[@maddieb.4282]

I’m gonna hope he’s an ex husband

[@wen_and_only]

@@maddieb.4282 unfortunately still my dad. My mom is very Catholic and “doesn’t believe in divorce” :/

[@DapperMrAlex]

It blows my mind that these men think women somehow just "know" how to do these things. No one is born knowing where the eggs are in the grocery store! No one is born knowing what cleaners are to use on what surfaces! Everyone has to learn these things!

[@justb3you]

bruh, I had a 35 year old man tell me women should single-handedly take care of the children and the house because we just know how because it's in our DNA. I was so pissed. Like have you ever seen toys targeted for girls? Toy cooking sets, cleaning sets, dolls, baby dolls that when fed water they "pee" so you have to change their nappies, baby dolls that cry, burp, crawl. Never seen one of those targeted for boys. We aren't born knowing how to do these things, we just know more about it because that's what has been pushed on us since we can remember. He was living alone but of course, he had his mommy go to his house to cook and clean so he wouldn't overwork himself after working from 8am to 2pm. Most people don't even have the luxury of a 6h working schedule and he couldn't even do the bare minimum.

[@Ale_V72]

OMFG!!! I can tell my boyfriend (who I live with) that I'm out of energy from a nap so I don't want to make dinner (we take turns) and either he does it or we eat sandwiches if none of us want to cook. It's not that deep my dude!! SMH to that man

[@SLYKM]

Yea, when it's just me and my partner, it's like we either make dinner together or we scrap together whatever is easy to make.

[@tinytatotot2910]

Lighthearted edition! A bunch of the neighborhood dads used to tell my dad to do weaponized incompetence, since my dad always did the same, if not more housework than my mom - he roasted them to me when we were out alone on a walk and taught me and my brother to never be like that (They did equal work in raising us, my dad took care of the house and took us to locations and my mom organized social/school stuff, it worked for them. Now he's a single parent because my mom is gone and is amazing, couldn't ask for a better dad)

[@tinytatotot2910]

That may be because my dad was also raised in a single parent household for most of his childhood and raised by my grandma who is pretty progressive for someone raised the 50/60's. She would not have allowed my dad to do this type of shit and neither would my mom. This weaponized incompetence is sadly common for most dads I know. I just got lucky

[@madmagdelena]

They really do coach each other on how to be incompetent! I've seen it! Glad your dad was different

[@sophisticatedPJs]

"I need help going to the grocery store!!! where are the right aisles?!?!?" hey. hey buddy. hey. hey. do you know how to read. there's a sign. there's lots of signs, actually. everywhere. directing you exactly to where you need to be. the shampoo aisle will have a nice big sign in bold letters right above it that says "shampoo". If you can't find products that a high schooler working a minimum wage job can (source: I work at a grocery store) maybe you should question what you're doing with your life and not why your wife isn't babysitting you through it or doing it for you.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

It was kind of funny when he screamed ‘why are there so many types of toothpaste!’ But otherwise I agree haha.

[@jenniferbreininger6015]

He’s not even doing it with young children that never shut up! I can’t tell you how many times I get to the car and don’t have the pork for the pork tenderloin I’m making for dinner!

[@gloomy_gal]

My mother was yelling at my father for not doing anything to help around the house unless it was to his own benefit or so he could say he could help. this reminded me of that. She then said "what sort of example are you setting for the kids? Youre teaching your kids to be selfish" and i thought to myself nah hes just gonna make it so i never end up in that hellscape of a marriage.

[@gloomy_gal]

Anyways sorry for trauma dumping 🙏😭

[@zyqa]

You'd only be trauma dumping if you went directly to some stranger and said all of this. The purpose of a comment section is to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences. But I'm glad you were made aware of what your father was doing early on and recognized those weren't qualities you wanted in your future partner. Unfortunately for some, they never do realize how messed up it is and they grow up only to find someone just like them later in life and the cycle continues.

[@gloomy_gal]

@@zyqa man this is sweet thank you

[@visualsno]

I left my relationship that had lots of weaponised incompetence and fell in love with a friend who showed up to help clean my apartment when he wasn't even asked. We did some deep cleaning together. He cleaned my exes stuff. He packed his boxes. He said he did it all for me, not expecting anything in return. He jumps to help tidy up after hanging out. He volunteers to cook and clean. I never thought I would see it. I was trapped in a cycle of feeling dismissed and unseen. There really are men out there who not only help, but take responsibility for their part. Sometimes I feel like I took him off the market- like this super rare, amazing, ideal man. And now he's mine. I'm so lucky. Also with childcare- with my ex I was terrified of having a child and being trapped, but with my boyfriend I am excited and I have no doubt he will be an amazing father and partner to raise a child with. He literally works in childcare. Such a rare man to find, let alone a 21 year old.

[@Hisfriendmike]

As a guy who grew up with 5(five) sisters I could NEVER think of sitting around while my sisters do all the work my parents raised me right. In my families house everyone cooks and cleans because nobody believes it’s either a man or a woman’s job it’s just a job that needs done. These “men” are pathetic

[@catherinej6542]

The second video reminds me of a similar one that was reposted to twitter: (disclaimer; not sure if the woman in that video was a cleaning account as well, but even if she was, that doesn't make the situation better) son has covid, mom catches covid while caring for son so they are both quarantining upstairs while dad basically lives downstairs for a week. Mom and son recover and the entire kitchen is trashed; dirty dishes and counters, food just left out, etc. and she deep cleans the entire kitchen. One man did that much damage ALONE in one week🤦‍♀

[@gem9535]

Imagine being a grown man and not able to cook for himself and his parents. Embarrassing.

[@valerielarrieu8074]

When I stopped cleaning to see how long it would take for my ex to pick up the slack, he had the audacity to tell me to clean it up after a day or two. He noticed. He just wouldn't do anything about it himself.

[@claratalbot7613]

I have disabilities that make some tasks harder if not impossible for me to do. However, if I'm asked to help out with cleaning, I see something needs to be cleaned, or I'm having to look after the apartment or my parents' house on my own for x amount of time, I will do at least the bare minimum to keep it clean & tidy so it irritates me to no end when people who are abled bodied refuse to do basic chores or act like they can't do them. If my disabled butt can get up & do chores including ones that I shouldn't be doing, then people who are abled body should have no problems doing said chores

[@universal_stupidity]

I know you know this but it's also ok to not be able to do some things. It's not weaponized if trying to do the task is literally going to hurt you. But yes! I'm also disabled and I'm a student so I'm not married or anything but I still actively help out in my dorm however I can (and sometimes in ways I shouldn't). It's not hard, if we can do it they can do it.

[@Meipmeep]

My health issues creeped up and I asked my teenagers to step up and help…. Unfortunately we all have autism, ADHD and ptsd so they opted to use their own money to pay for housecleaning services and set up a schedule with the cleaning ladies themselves. I do my best to help but one day of directing the cleaning and managing my son’s anxiety levels so he’s actually helping clean his own stuff has me in bed for days.

[@claratalbot7613]

@universal_stupidity Absolutely agree. If a task is going to hurt, then I wouldn't want anyone to do it & would rather find a safe alternative way of doing the task even if it would cost more. I just wish that the people who do weaponize incompetence wouldn't because not only are they being lazy & making others do their work for them while also making those who actually can't do the task look like they're the ones being lazy

[@kaileighmarie3032]

my mom has extreme ocd and my dad knows this so even on days when he goes to work at 5 am with little sleep he will come home and do the dishes, and clean the kitchen and other areas just so my mom doesn’t have to come home to a mess. she does most the cooking bc he only really knows how to make burritos and enchiladas but hey they make it work and i think it’s super sweet!!

[@brittanyblue4495]

Weaponized incompetence is bullshit. I had to leave the state for a funeral, for 5 days. I left my home absolutely immaculate, and my husband in charge of two kids, three dogs, and the housekeeping. I came home to happy, healthy kids and dogs, and a house that was sliiiiightly less than what I keep it under my own perfectionist standards, but so goddamn close to perfect, no one would ever know. I never worried once that I'd come home to a shitshow. I knew it'd be a pain in the ass, but that my husband would manage the home to the same level that we both do when we're together. I wouldn't still be married, otherwise. Expect better, people.

[@sunshinesaccharine]

weaponised incompetence is the kind of thing a child would do. doing a poor job with chores so you aren’t asked to do them. but the thing is, that’s a CHILD. these grown ass men trying to avoid household responsibilities is just embarrassing

[@colleenkearney5635]

So, I was married (many years ago) and we had custody of his daughter. I was a SAHM for the most part, but also worked part time. I went out of town to visit friends for four days, and he literally called me every couple of hours to ask unnecessary questions about cleaning, shopping, and talking care of his little girl. He kept saying he didn't know what to do with her, or how to entertain her, and he was really upset that I wouldn't come back early to take over because she was "driving him nuts." Of course, when I did get back, the house was totally unkempt and I spent several days righting everything. It's so nice I had those few days off, you know, so I could relax. 😮

[@sylaisee_bebop]

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WOTH THE LIP LOOK IT REMINDS ME OF WATING POPSICLES DURING THE SUMMER 1000/10 NO NOTES NEEDED

[@sylaisee_bebop]

it’s giving the color of flames

[@jadamiller7485]

Him: cook my parents a roast 2 days after giving birth! An option: How about I call your parents and ask THEM if they want a roast 2 days after me giving birth. Let them know how great a person you are to your wife.

[@adalinwilliams6589]

Dude, my ex definitely weaponized his incompetence and was extremely abusive BUT after I gave birth he was genuinely attentive and gave me my rest. For quite a while before going back to being horrible. He watched me give birth, saw how much I struggled and pulled his crappy self together for me to recover. It's the ONLY thing I can say about that man that's good.

[@claratalbot7613]

If anything, the mother in law should be coming over with food or the husband should be cooking the roast for the parents. All that this lady should be doing is recovering & resting. Like even if the roast isn't as good, ur parents should be understanding of the fact that ur wife just had a baby & that ur both a little sleep deprived. I can't imagine wanting my future wife to do anything when she's sick unless she's up for it, let alone if she ever gave birth to our child/children

[@liul]

So, another woman has to do it, because poor man and his father in law, they are too precious. You are misoginisitc

[@liul]

The mother in law has been, most likely, cleaning her whole life for her family. And you just want to make her keep working for others, because her son is too precious to cook. You are as bad as the entitled husband

[@DiligentThroat]

@@liullol what? Expecting a new mother to get help from her in-laws is not being entitled 😂

[@claratalbot7613]

@liul I guess u did not see the Or in my comment? I said the mother in law Or the husband should be cooking. The only person who should not be cooking is the lady who literally just had a baby 2 days ago. U saying I'm as entitled as the husband. However, I wouldn't expect someone who is sick, injured, or recovering from surgery, etc. to do any tasks they're not up for. Let alone someone who literally just gave birth recently. How does that make me entitled?

[@MAL341]

@@claratalbot7613their point is that instead of saying “the mother or father in law should bring food or the husband should learn to cook” you omit the fact that the father in law could also be someone who takes on the temporary responsibility of cooking this meal. It’s still a statement assuming that women should take on the role of cooking, in general, even if you didn’t intend to insinuate that. The MIL shouldn’t just be assumed to be the next person in line to cook just because she’s a woman. That labor is expected way too often of women with no good reason for why.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Normalise telling boys to aspire to be house husbands.

[@Jay-ch7fp]

I started thinking about how I would make a tiktok with my partner to the same sound and cleaning the house, and I think it would show us speed-cleaning a room together (well-oiled machine) and then collapsing on the couch to hang out for a minute, and then getting back up and speed-cleaning a different room, and then like watching a movie or something.

[@probsnooneyouknowtbh3712]

The amount of women who see weaponized incompetence as "he's just a silly goofy little guy who doesn't know how to do stuff haha" is so sad.

[@rebekahbudd5830]

My dad told my husband "if your wife asks you to do something, take your time. Because she will just ask you to do something else after". Thankfully my husband does not follow that advice

[@ErutaniaRose]

As an autistic disabled person who’s had a hard time learning more adult tasks, these men bother me so much. It’s not difficulty at this point, there is no willingness to help, do part of the work, or to learn.

[@ErutaniaRose]

@@liam1561 For real.

[@maxdark1585]

The man wanting his wife to cook after giving birth is a weak, weak man. My baby brother is 8 years younger than me and my mom had a very complex and scary birth with him, which resulted in the doctors tying her tubes because if she had more kids, she'd die. My moms mother came over after she was let out of the hospital, and dads cooking and cleaning and wrangling the 3 oldest kids with the only help from mom being "why dont you show mom your drawing if she's not too tired". HER mom got after her for being "lazy" and my dad, literally drowning in a newborn, 3, 6, and 8 year old, tells his MiL "she just got home from the hospital with our last baby. Im handling it. Either stop or leave." Generally I grew up with a p capable dad who had to practically beg mom to actually rest when she needed it cause mom hates taking care of herself. He also hates her mom, as do I, and frankly the only reason mom talks to her is because of societal brainwashing telling her she needs a mom in her life. Thats a different story tho

[@maxdark1585]

Knowing dad, he probably would've said smth more graphic if he wasnt holding a toddler. He didnt want us to hear how scary mom's latest birth was at the time, but her mom DID know those factors and was still. Calling her lazy.

[@maxdark1585]

The store thing is the only thing my dad does, but not nearly to the extent as the guy in the video. Dad knows where things are in the store, BUT he has adhd so he needs a specific list cause he will forget and/or get distracted and buy things he wants. Meanwhile my mom has autism, so if she has a specific meal plan she usually wants an exact brand for her plan, especially for things like meat. SO when it comes to those highly specific things, she adds pictures to her list. Simple as that. Calls only happen when the specific brand she wants is out, he can navigate just fine. Tbh it took me a while to realize the men in these tiktoks were not fictional cause my dad is just. A normal dude. So it didnt occur to me for MANY years that men are actually sexist and it isnt a massive overplayed joke.

[@hellaradusername]

There's a Shel Silverstein poem that goes like "if you have to do the dishes and you drop one on the floor, maybe you won't have to do the dishes anymore"

[@eerielconstantine5051]

2:27 I would be charged with murder if my man ever spoke to me like that 😂

[@Blueleaf11]

Who TF are these inlaws that expect a god damn roast every time they visit!? Nevermind the new baby...no thank you! Make your own damn roast!

[@rebeccabowler2892]

“I see you’re not sure how to put away left overs. Lemme show you how to do it with tonight’s dinner” and then have him do it every night

[@rebeccabowler2892]

The tone of voice is patronizing when you say that btw

[@Bagans15Crazy]

Weaponed incompetence makes me feral

[@Sleipnirseight]

When his parents come to visit, maybe they can explain why they raised a son who can't cook food like an adult _and_ who lacks ANY empathy for his OWN WIFE. ETA: I bet $50 he wants to watch the baby because he plans to immediately hand them over to his mom when she arrives, so he'll be responsible for nothing at all.

[@MonaLyssa33]

This has just solidified why I am pursuing single motherhood by choice. It's easier to take care of one baby than it is to take care of two.

[@maddieb.4282]

Maybe just don’t have kids

[@MonaLyssa33]

@@maddieb.4282 My kid will be the most wanted and planned kid. Too many terrible parents have unplanned and unwanted kids resulting in kids who grow up to be assholes.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

1:34 Ah, the classic: “You’ve been sitting around and live basically for free.”

[@beccashea9845]

Oh my god the first clip filled me with so much rage I can’t contain it like tell me that’s fake

[@ColinIzer1111]

I wish I could tell you it was fake... unfortunately it's not. This lazy ass woman really did just refuse to make her husband a roast! disgraceful . 🤦‍♂

[@bottomofastairwell]

Saw a few comments that confirmed it was ragebait. But still, you know people like this DO exist and god its so infuriating

[@Saturn_Drawz]

My dad acts like this. One time my mom told my dad specifically to clean off the table and he turned around IMMEDIATELY and told me and my brother to do it.

[@juliaboskamp9666]

My dad was the same after my mom left him he expect me to be wife 2.0 because his mistress said she didn't want to clean his house

[@roxyndra]

My partner hates dishes in the sink. I hate dishes on the counter. I'm the one who usually cooks, so I need the counter to prep. We made a deal YEARS ago that if one person cooks, the other person cleans. It didn't work that way for a while. So now I just throw EVERYTHING in the sink. My rule is nothing dirty stays on the counter. How quickly did the dishes start getting cleaned on their own rather than me having to wash them after cooking~! =^_^=

[@darkshadowrule2952]

"Know what I just cooked for the last nine months? Your kid!" I died 😂

[@iminyourwalls3698]

This is no man at all. If he can be childish about cooking dinner, imagine how he would act as a partner in raising the child that was just birthed.

[@RPGLover87]

With Kiwi mentioning that she sometimes has issues getting around to housework now I'm imagining this scenario (that's intended to be funny, making clear because tone's hard in text): Cuddly toy on couch: Savannah, I've fallen over, can you pick me back up? Kiwi: I'm vacuuming, can't you just... Toy: I haven't got muscles. Kiwi: Fine... Which one is the weaponised incompetence in this scenario is completely up for interpretation... Is the toy making excuses or is Kiwi being insensitive? I also have that exact problem as well, I will get around to wiping the kitchen floor, but I don't know when. Generally I do the things that get in the way more frequently than the things that can be ignored, like I'll clear, spray and clean the sides and sink in the kitchen, but the oven and floor are way less frequent. Also when I do get around to a task I tend to be quite thorough, like if things get cluttered I completely reorganise the apartment.

[@jacqueline7938]

Husband: My wife stopped cleaning. Also Husband: Stopped cleaning.

[@aBombinaBubble]

Imagine if she'd had a C-section. He'd be saying she took the easy option too. Having done both natural & emergency C, the latter recovery was 10x harder...

[@audreydoyle5268]

Recovery for a c-section is like 6 weeks minimum. MINIMUM! My mother was 4 weeks PP with my brother after a traumatic emergency c-section hanging washing and asked me to help, because her stitches were pulling way too taut. Her husband couldn't even be effed to do the fricking laundry for a month!

[@carterhoule7113]

him saying its like he's studying for chemistry and then just listing that she wants organic pasture raised and FOR THEM TO NOT BE BROKEN 😭

[@wt_9026]

getting ready to have company over, my ex would decide his workbench toolboxes etc needed cleaned and reorganized. or that the attic steps need to be re-built. two true instances.

[@vamplinvamp]

I am so grateful for my parents. They truly are the blueprint of what a healthy straight couple should be. My dad travels for work but when he’s home, he refuses to let my mom do any chores. He’ll see her get up to do the dishes and he goes “Nooo, let me do that baby. Go sit back down.” Every time! Because he’s gone so often and I’m in college he knows that she’s constantly doing housework so he pampers her when he’s home. It’s so sweet.

[@Mc-DonaldsWifi]

It's actually insane how bad the mess can get when the wife decides to stop cleaning and the husband will not lift a finger to clean a single room. He's fine with the house becoming a pigsty than keep anything tidy.

[@Drockthehouse95]

I genuinely want to experience the schadenfreude of watching these men live on their own for a month and having the realization that they are entirely inept while their lives fall apart by their own inaction.

[@lucienmyette6205]

The whole time I was watching this video I was like “yep. My ex-boyfriend did that. And that. And that” etc. Thank you for reminding me I made a good decision ending a 12 year relationship because it was miiiiserable.

[@hallejr]

This video actually inspired me to do some laundry since usually my mother does it.

[@m.z1256]

yayy

[@ChaoticKide]

Jokes about inability to parent that I love: First time parent vs. second+ time parent Jokes that suck: I am Man therefore can’t parent

[@witchfixpodcast2997]

People act like it's all financial reasons for not wanting to have a kid but for me it's THIS. It's giving birth and 2 DAYS later having some...idiot, standing there like a twelve year old who forgot he has food-tech tomorrow, acting confused that his dinner schedule has been interrupted. Better no baby, than dealing with a man baby.

[@verahvd]

24:42 grocery shopping is difficult and stressfull for many people. But being an adult means you have to figure how to accomedate yourself sometimes.

[@lilpetz500]

That first one was horrifying even if it was a scene out of a 50s TV show. Like, his justifications implying she's lazy, she just cooks it better, he's tired too, he probably even views it as a generous compromise that he offered to sit with the baby. So many excuses to make someone who underwent a major bodily pain and recovery, who's had major body changes for almost a year, get up and do something that he is completely capable of. I hope his parents coming over arent proud of raising a son that thinks like that And that second one. We've really built a society that thinks it's normal, if not cute, that if a typical cishetallo couple splits up the woman often becomes financially unable to support herself by a system, and the man becomes unable to support basic living and self care tasks. The breadwinner/housemaid dynamic is so often dysfunctional.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I wish all these women a very swift and happy divorce.

[@StonedHunter]

Can I just add why the hell are the inlaws coming over less than a WEEK after the kid was born? Unless they're coming over STRICTLY to help mom recover and tell off their idiot son, they need to stay home and let her rest.

[@nordikkai7185]

To be fair, I like to say "where did we put stuff" because I feel like "where did you..." comes off as super accusatory and like you're antagonizing the other person for putting something away. One has "can you remind me where you like to keep that thing" vibes and the other has "where did you hide the thing i want from me" vibes

[@KarmaStreams_13]

I went home two days after my emergency c section with my daughter who had to stay in the NICU because I was a single mom with another baby at home growing while I had lived in the hospital in active labor. I FLATLINED and walked myself down to the NICU for skin to skin 5 hours later. This was after my other child was born emergency c section and I conceived my daughter 7 weeks later it was hell! I love my kids and honestly I would rather do it all alone again than have stayed with the one who behaved this way.for any ladies in the comments wondering if it’s worth to to walk away 100% YES DO IT. Your mental stability and happiness in life is worth so much more than dragging yourself down with someone who is dead weight ❤

[@Talmorne]

I wonder if some of these videos are intentional clickbait ragebait. That first one for sure feels like it was acted out purely just to create ragebait

[@gothickittenlovesblo]

FUN FACT WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY THE BONES IN YOUR HIPS SOFTEN SO THAT THEY CAN LITERALLY MOVE OUT OF THE WAY TO LET A BABY OUT.

[@aaronhoy3410]

No they don't. The hormone loosens the ligaments, tendons, muscles & other connective tissues that hold the pelvic bones together & to other bones in the body to allow them to shift a more than usual to allow for birth. If the bones themselves actually softened that would be very bad.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

* crying *

[@therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar]

My ex went back to work 5 days after my c-section. I hadn't showered or eaten anything I didn't cook.

[@leah_vanderlan79]

I love your makeup! I could never do the eyeshadow so well!

[@Hana_H]

ya the eyeshadow is poppin

[@gracelovely3838]

The measuring cups were probably for baby formula, implying that the father can't even feed or change his child without help from the wife. Absolutely ridiculous

[@Soy_boi]

These women really doing the Lord’s work picking up the parenting these brats, on top of their own children!

[@wellgoslowlyontumblr]

it was the “you’re always saying i’m gaslighting you” that got me

[@summermuse2013]

It’s crazy how both parents are complaining about how difficult raising a child is, BUT THEY STILL WENT ON WITH IT. AND IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT’S CLEARLY NOT STABLE. Both men and women need a wake up call on patriarchy, relationships and dynamics. They don’t even think before getting pregnant or if they do think they are completely delusional.

[@tofoo1]

I agree but what does the patriarchy have to do with this??

[@cloudyskyz2237]

@@tofoo1probably because of the patriarchy men are able to say what they can or cannot do (in general).

[@tofoo1]

@@cloudyskyz2237 men are able to say what who can and cannot do? (Not trying to argue just clarifying lmao)

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@tofoo1 Men set the rules, and demand that everyone else follow.

[@tofoo1]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 I meant give an example, I should’ve clarified

[@blakelay]

New wife moto: "If your husband does a shitty job doing chores make him do more because he clearly need more practice!"