Weekend RUINED By BROKEN iPhone Charger

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We had some lovely plans for this weekend, including getting fully back on track with my health kick after being in hospital this week, but sometimes the universe just decides it has it's own plans, and this was definitely one of those times... Andy's iPhone charger broke, and I didn't get to him quickly enough or make the right decisions when I did and it led to a massive meltdown, almost as bad as the one when we had to call out the police, and the whole weekend had to be written off...
Check out the previous video 👉 • Andy's New Job
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ABOUT KEVIN CHAPMAN
I'm a 38 year old KZbinr from the UK. I've got a cracking beard and I'm currently going through the autism diagnosis process. I started this channel back in 2017 and by the time I left my full-time job as a Computer Science teacher in July of that year, my partner Anna was trapped in our house by our son Andy, who is autistic and had refused to go to school for 18 months. Our daughters Lucy and Amy and our dog Dave hardly saw me because I was always working to try and solve all our problems! Today I'm a full-time content creator and always at home when the kids get home from school (all our kids!) and Anna has been able to return to university. This channel is the story of my ongoing journey! Previously known as lollujo Vlogs and The Chapman Family.
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#Autism #Meltdown #Health

[@WhiteLiteBarbie]

I’m so sorry Kevin. I work with autistic children as a behavioral interventionist, so I’ve been in many situations like that with different kids. I get what you mean, and I understand how you feel. You’re doing great. You’re strong and you’re doing everything really well with Andy.

[@xeniabear]

hope you're all ok

[@merkman2001]

Bless you Kev. You are an excellent Dad and do the best you can. Very proud to know about your family and watch your videos.

[@jennifermurdock945]

I feel for you. It’s heartbreaking for parents to physically restrain their child. The child doesn’t know that they’re not in control. I look at restraint as what is needed when it’s gone to the stage of violence or trying to break things, including mom and dad. I’m happy you all were able to get him in a position to give him the meds. I’m sorry you are having those “am I dying” moments, Kev. I went through that in my 40’s when I was diagnosed with three autoimmune diseases when in months of each other. Two of them are lifelong diseases and can hasten death. I’m 52 and with therapy I was able to exist with my autoimmune diseases. Therapists can also help you with proper restraints for violent meltdowns. I would suggest you and Anna work together with a therapist to help you deal with both sides of the meltdown. Have a peaceful day. Jenn~

[@margaretspence109]

People who have never been in that situation will always say you should have done such and such different but you were in that situation and you kept Andy safe and gave him the medication that he needed to calm down.

[@emilyt.2317]

You guys do an awesome job keeping Andy safe. For the TV in his room is there a way you can box in the TV, secure the TV base to the shelf, and then attach a thick piece of plexiglass to the front of the box so that he can’t get to it.

[@crazycat1166]

Having worked in supported living with people with autism this sinario sound very familiar in regards to meltdown, loss of reasoning and the need for medication to calm down . The main thing is you kept everyone free from harm. I completely understand the need for physical restraint in these situations. If nothing else it's to keep him safe. Hope you can manage to get some safe restraint techniques at some point. Andy is now pretty much a full grown man at this point so I can see that it must be getting harder to manage. It's a positive that you at least have medication for him during these times. People will always judge in these situations but without being there it's impossible to comment on what you "should" do. Sounds like once Andy calms down he doesn't dwell or possibly even remember his meltdowns so from that perspective it's actually probably harder for you and Anna in terms of analysing it afterwards whereas as distressing as it is for andy at the time the positive thing is he's able to move past it once it's finished. Not sure If it would help you to think of it that way but I found that a helpful way to process meltdowns when working as a support worker.

[@conboy1605]

As a carer who has only worked with autistic people, what you said is only the main goal in that situation is to calm it down and if it is using gental force then that’s what you got to do, you did a fab job and don’t worry about what others are going to say. In my eyes you did what you needed to do to keep everyone safe fab job again keep smiling

[@conboy1605]

@@Toffee146 not to good with the spelling but yeah that’s what I mean

[@jaimereynolds258]

I have experienced this many time with my son. You just try so hard to calm the situation at any means that doesn't cause some sort of harm to the child. After that, you just want to get away and take a break. If people on the outside saw, they wouldn't even know where to begin. To avoid that at my home, my son isn't allowed to touch the chargers. He has to get me and then he points to what he wants....if he wants the tablet unplugged to use, or if his tablet is dead and needs it plugged in. Sending love to you guys.

[@Rotmo]

You and Anna are absolute heroes, Kevin. Oh, and Andy is too :)

[@GrannyGooseOnYouTube]

Blessings, Kevin. So sorry Andy had such a rough time, and sorry it impacted such a great day. You're such a good dad.

[@blackcherry3148]

It seems like it worked better in your old house when Andy mainly watched tv and used his iPad in the the living room instead of his bedroom.

[@erinmarsh505]

Stay strong, you've got this ❤️ hope you're all OK ❤️

[@tillyadby1652]

Oh Dave you and Anna are doing great. I used to work with autistic kids and at one point was restraining a child not as old as Andy, on a daily basis. It’s awful but I 100% support it when this is needed It’s because these children are in crisis they have no control. I was trained how to safely “handle” them so it doesn’t hurt them but they can’t hurt you or themselves, their strength is overwhelming. I feel for you both but anyone can see what an amazing job your both doing. What a week you have had. Sending positive vibes xx

[@robcunningham8033]

I feel for you so much Kev. You had to do what you felt was right and to keep both you, Anna and Andy safe and that was by pinning Andy down so that no one would get hurt and nothing in the house would get broken I hope things get better take care.

[@Jordan_long]

I’ve got to say both you and Anna do an amazing job dispute the fact you have had no training. Keep it up.

[@emaroberts3991]

I have an autistic older brother he’s not as severe as Andy but he does have meltdowns and he is a big lad. It’s just my dad and it does take a toll. You shouldn’t have to justify yourself you guys are doing amazing. Keep going it’s nice to watch something you can relate to on a personal level.

[@trinityrhino]

I know all about 'Am I dying' anxiety. Hugs x You're doing great with Andy xxx

[@lorrainedavidson8227]

Aww poor Andy. You guys have had a hard week! Sending good wishes to you all.

[@georgebcfc4048]

Hope you all are ok

[@debbieblincoe9880]

Sending love and hugs - it's a hard road with a child and teen on the spectrum!

[@helenjames6982]

hope you're all okay

[@charlottevicarage1331]

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but: you did the right thing. He CANNOT be smashing stuff up every time something goes wrong, because, as you quite rightly said, these things cost money to replace and you can't keep replacing something every time he breaks it. You're not made of money. Plus, restraining him was the right thing to do, however, I would advise you get onto safe handling training asap as you cannot continue letting him hit you or Anna. Maybe you teach him not to be so heavy handed with his chargers? I am heavy handed with stuff and sometimes, I shut a door harder then I should, and my mum pointed out to me that it shakes the house when i do that, and she pointed out to me the cracks that were forming around the hinges where the plaster was falling off and told me about it, saying that if the plaster fell off, there will be no back door. I learned (for the most part) then to close the door carefully. That, and keep anything breakable out of his reach when he does this again.

[@marcharper-reeves2377]

Glad your all and big man Andy are OK

[@RedWolf-kq6lt]

Aww I hope is everything is okay

[@ChrisOlive96]

Sorry hear about what happened kev, hope you're all OK now.

[@hollietarbuck3599]

Have you ever been offered Team Teach training to physically intervene safely to protect him and you? I cannot even imagine having to deal with this on a daily basis. Hope Andy is ok :)

[@hllb]

best training ever! ive done it 3 times working in an sen school!

[@Keeko251]

It does sound awful but this mad be hard on all 3 of us hope us are all okay ❤️

[@dianewestley8460]

Sending love to all of you ,my son has autism ,I know what your going through ,,bless you 😀♥😀

[@TheHumoid]

5:06 😂😂😂

[@tomcant2022]

keep up the beautiful amazing content

[@itzyaboiicarl]

Hope your OK I've recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and am really struggling with it

[@TheShellie28]

My son is very similar he has asd late diagnosed I called the police at one point as he was kicking our backdoor in its a glass panel and they wouldn't come out it makes you feel helpless it's crazy

[@abbiesmith9353]

it’s probably a stupid suggestion but do you have an area or room you could make into a scensory room, like somewhere you could keep him contained but he’s safe?

[@nathanboo7649]

I'm sorry the weekend got ruined. Some simple things can be extremely overwhelming and difficult to deal with, especially if you have autism. I'm autistic too. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of medication is it that you give Andy? Seems like it works wonders when he's having a meltdown.

[@gliderdan3153]

Are you insinuating that the medication is going to harm him?

[@nathanboo7649]

@@gliderdan3153 I am not. I was just wondering what medication it is

[@jewelsevers6856]

Sending lots of love 💖 Must be the month for it Had to call ambulance for my Autistic daughter this week Your are doing a great job

[@kimberwright565]

I had a similar day on Saturday. I had a serious accident at work that resulted in me going to hospital then being under observation for yesterday and today. I have a package to pick up, shopping to do and other important things but I’ve only filmed one scene from a series I’m doing and edited another video. My weekend is ruined.

[@motherwar.]

Hope youre okay!☺️💕

[@kimberwright565]

@@motherwar. I’m okay now.

[@aprilhill6873]

Hope you are ok

[@madisonslittleworld2577]

When after melt down maybe try weighted blanket for Andy may like it, well done handling situation.

[@shadowfayfurry1323]

Have you tryed coating the cable in some sort of hard plastics that can bend a bit but not anoth to break

[@Ohnree]

I hate the way you always feel like you have to apologise or justify your actions. Every diagnosis is different, you do what works best for you. You’re both amazing and anyone who tells you otherwise is completely deluded. Keep up with the fab and interesting content. P.s. your voice sends me to sleep so it’s most appreciated 😂🤍

[@danielvanc_iow]

If you can’t eat in moderation, how do you expect to spend, however long, having no goodies - which is MUCH harder? You have to be realistic and cutting it all out isn’t that. Cutting out smoking isn’t the same thing, Kev. Good luck with it al but be realistic with what you will be able to achieve 👍🏼

[@randompotato4216]

I've downloaded twitch and I'm going to follow anna but stay safe only eat during your fast when you need to make sure you eat healthy only foods

[@garethclements3930]

My son is autistic so I understand what these situations are like to experience. If anyone wants to say Kev and Anna didn’t deal with this correctly, you’re simply wrong, you have to do what you have to do.

[@sandiriddett877]

I hope you will get that training, but meanwhile you and Anna are doing a great job, You may even teach an online course about living and working with people like Andy..as you said their aren't many resources out there right now. This video is already a teaching moment. This is how one deals with a situation. You got the medicine into Andy and everyone stayed safe. I'll check in tomorrow and hope you all had a better day.

[@Harry-ts8vj]

You did what you have to do your doing the best you can don’t beat your selfs up

[@exploringandadventuresea3585]

I think you should be ok with Birthday cake or Birthday party foods because birthdays are a really special

[@JohnJ1831]

I hope everyone is safe and well

[@evonneokafor]

I hope so. It seemed very scary.

[@JohnJ1831]

@@evonneokafor I know

[@randomness051]

Sorry Kevin, sounds awful. I can't see how anyone can say don't hold him down. Of course you have to hold him down, you can't have things broken everytime

[@BenKlassen1]

Tough situation. There is a veritable tsunami of similarly affected children that will be in need of governmental assistance once their families are no longer able to care for them.

[@patriciavelasquez5566]

❤

[@lewistaylor3151]

Hope your okay

[@shadowfayfurry1323]

And have you thought of building a case to put tv in that all you can access is the one of button

[@shadowfayfurry1323]

Like make out of wood with a think plastic that you can still see through

[@bugsypresents7649]

I think you and Anna do a grate job with Andy. I have dyspraxia and love watching your videos

[@chrismahrra8513]

i have adult autsim and i can see both side of this situation but i think what you do for Andy is amazing you are a great family and i see that some people can be nasty toward people who have children with autism and i am glad that Andy is now ok

[@sebastianredgwell9816]

My brother is autistic and I completely understand and get what you mean by he'll just smash the house up my brother would do the same until he eventually looses energy and passes out basically

[@lewisrichards352]

I know its hard hope you all well you need to push for training its disgraceful in my opinion force feeding does not help but sometimes you got no option to do it

[@benuw6776]

RE the cables, doesnt Andy have a habit of licking them, probably doesnt help them as moisture kills them? Im not taking the p*ss, in previous vlog (in the car) he licked it before putting it in.

[@GodoftimeGaming]

Asd is miss understood what you did was right I really feel funding for asd isn't there as it should be alot of people will say your in the wrong which isn't true ive seen first had melt downs are like trying to calm him down when he doesn't understand what he's doing is wrong I really hope they support you and give you the training plus he's getting older

[@martincollins1478]

I Jedi mind tricked myself into feeling ill watching your hospital trip vlog... Started panicking because my heart was beating really fast.. Pretty sure two sugar donuts and a can of coke were the cause of that now though.

[@lewistaylor3151]

Love the vids

[@Aiden-pl1bo]

Hey there Kevin I'm just wondering why don't you give Andy a tiny of his meds before he goes to bed to help him sleep

[@imaginaryenemy2565]

Because that would be misuse/abuse of his meds their not sleep meds their most likely sedatives to help him calm down a side effect of them is they make people sleepy especially after having an episode/meltdown their emergency meds only to be used in these type of situations

[@distinctlyaverageguy954]

It will be whats called PRN. By law PRN can only be given as and when required

[@Aiden-pl1bo]

Thank you to all who replied yes you are probably righr

[@twilliamspro]

Is any still on the medicine he was out on Before Fluoxy something because i recall you having Meltdown issues before and the doctor Uppingj his dose and he .was cool as a cucumber

[@twilliamspro]

Was Amy still there? Could she have gone to Anna?

[@littlepinkc82]

Hi kev I have a 5 year old that has just be diagnosed I would love to pick Anna's 🧠 would she be will to talk about or answer some questions

[@JOAELLIS]

this might be a completely stupid question but if u got Andy a Punch bag is he over time able to learn to punch that when he is angry or worked up? I'm assuming probably not but its just a thought...Obviously i mean in the very early stages of meltdown

[@evonneokafor]

I know how Andy feels as I am slightly autistic and do have the bad fit that seen me smash mobile phones and feeling regrets afterwards. Lucky that my condition is not bad enough to have medicines but it must be very hard for people to understand sometimes.

[@emmabennett2371]

Hi kiven and Anna and family

[@wubear260]

Kev why not tray and enrol in a BJJ class or find a course yourself on how to safely restrain a person.

[@TheBillABCTV]

Kev I don't know Anna's twitch account. I am subbed to your Twitch account. Follow it I meant.

[@ashleyyoungs6252]

Mine broke last night so i spent 14 pound on a same day delivery for a new one

[@kimbob367]

I dread to think what my son is going to be like in a few years. He is only 6 at the minute but he is getting strong. And with the autism he has hit out and hurt me a couple of times . I don't know how you and Anna do it everyday.

[@randompotato4216]

Why don't you add a shower curtain? Its impossible to see anyone in the shower

[@imaginaryenemy2565]

They most likely have one the point is teen son in the bathroom with a showering mom is kind of awkward

[@randompotato4216]

@@imaginaryenemy2565 He said andy was out of the bathroom and kevin was in the bathroom getting the medicine

[@imaginaryenemy2565]

@@randompotato4216 Kev stayed in Andy's room to prevent damage Anna was in the bathroom

[@randompotato4216]

@@imaginaryenemy2565 I'll delete the comment then

[@imaginaryenemy2565]

@@randompotato4216 you can leave it up it was a simple misunderstanding

[@harryroberts2630]

This is going to sound awful, and I'm potentially seeing this in completely the wrong light. But is there not a chance that expediting his move to care the best thing overall? It has SUCH a profound affect on you and Anna - you're infinitely patient and loving, but the expense is that it dictates your entire life. Particularly given your health scare. The toll must be overwhelming; I know I couldn't do it and keep the chipper attitude that you do. Moving him would allow you to resume control of your life. Yes he would take an initial step back if he went into assisted living? But how long would it take for him to return to his 'normal'?

[@simonmcpherson1323]

Sounds horrific. Do you have neighbors sharing a wall with you? I'm worried someone is going to report you for child abuse cos they dont realize whats going on.

[@MrJohn0fficial]

Early

[@dickhammerbush1514]

I don't understand how 350lbs man can't pin down a skinny teen in more than 5 minutes 🤔 just shoot for his waist and use ur body weight to hold him down.

[@george-pi5mo]

there is no logic to what you just said at all

[@levisharman4055]

I mean, Have you ever been in that situation? You essentially have to hold someone down, without hurting them, while also bracing for all forms of unpredictability that comes with doing something like that. It's extremely difficult. Also that urban myth of "Autistic people are surprisingly strong" is not necessarily true but that state of meltdown just brings on essentially survival mode(I haven't a better term to put on it) so all the adrenaline pumping round, mixed with how boney a skinny person is(My brother is autistic and a similar build to Andy) means elbows, knees ect become far more painful. If their was no regard for well being you could just take someone down like you said but this isn't one of those situations

[@dickhammerbush1514]

well let me explain it in a little more detail then, you lock ur arms around his waist just above his hips, you pull him in tight and then for every forward step you take he will lower back slowly, you guide him down by walking forward, once he is on the ground you flip ur right knee over his hips so ur basically sitting on his waist, then restrain wrists.

[@imaginaryenemy2565]

@@dickhammerbush1514 easier said than done you'd most likely hurt yourself and him in the process which is what they are trying to avoid if you haven't had to restrain a child with behavioral issues than to you the solution is simple but they hit, kick, fail, bite and headbutt among other things it's not easy to just grab them and I've mostly dealt with toddlers I can't imagine dealing with a teen who's basically already a man don't judge you haven't been in their shoes

[@imaginaryenemy2565]

@@levisharman4055 you were on the right track and it's not just for people with autism with many mental illnesses and developmental disorders when the person is at their breaking point all reason and logic are out the window their in fight or flight mode and they don't even know why they are experiencing lots of anxiety, fear and rage so they aren't being gentle and agreeable like we have to in our day to day their using full force because they can't control their emotions or bodyoften time hard to think things through it even happens with nuerotypical tantruming toddlers and children people in general are alot stronger than we look

[@jaydavisvlogs9320]

Sounds stupid but maybe give Andy a bit of weed. Not too much and it will calm him down a lot. Trust me. I self harm and I have extreme split personality and the slightest little thing cause me to flip out and I smoke weed when I feel myself getting angry and it calms me down for a few hours and sends me sleep aswell

[@gliderdan3153]

Don't think you should be suggesting drug use, it's illegal