Weird Neighbor Has Zero Boundaries

Weird Neighbor Has Zero Boundaries
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[@triplebbb291]

As a married man, I would never spend one on one time with another woman, period. This went so far beyond that. He contacted her when his wife was away, invited her to drinks, texted her plans and went to her place for drinks, and didn’t tell his wife. I mean, COME ON!!!!

[@caarecengi]

My wife had to leave town suddenly and we have tickets to go to a show with another couple - she suggested that I take the neighbor lady who lives next door with us === and this neighbor, while single, knows that I would never compromise my marriage vows, plus she was friends with my (now wife) before we were married. Both myself and wife feel safe with this woman. But it's all above board.

[@jennifersteen8236]

Yeah. The sad truth !😢 He's a snake in the grass! He's sleazy and despicable! And the wife is just plain old stupid to believe his twisted story!

[@justicestanford5894]

@@caarecengi yeah but you told her somethings just fishy about this

[@miranda13c]

⁠@@caarecengiThe obvious difference there is the fact that YOUR WIFE SUGGESTED IT. You didn’t sneak around and go with your single neighbor without telling your wife. I guarantee your wife wouldn’t like that one bit had you came up with the idea yourself and went with your neighbor without informing her beforehand.

[@heleh9889]

Can God allow us to get the chance of being married with respectful men like this one?...the one who is posting, obviously...

[@sherryd3299]

Her husband asked a needy, lonely woman to have drinks. Caller is naïve.

[@bobbylacy2374]

My spouse took calls from his ex-wife, and the person he cheated on his ex-wife with, four years after we were married. I have never met either one of them and they had been divorced ten years, with the affair seven years before the divorce. I said I didn't like it and why was he taking their calls? He said they "needed someone to talk to" and thought nothing of it. Did he take the calls at home, in front of me? No. He kept taking their calls. The ex-wife quit calling but the ex-mistress didn't - until I found out her home address ten states away and mailed her family a Christmas card. He came home and asked me directly, "Did you send (blank) a Christmas card?" Um, yeah. It's been years, he's retired now. But, I don't know if the calls ever stopped back then. The ex-mistress is his sister's best friend since high school. 😢

[@bwabwa8810]

​@@bobbylacy2374and you're still married to him?

[@TM_Stone]

The husband is perfecting the Horizontal Senior Samba with his neighbor. Wife is clueless.

[@yourgirlfae]

@@TM_Stoneshes not clueless, women from her generation would rather die than fault their husbands.

[@texasrose2315]

​@@bobbylacy2374You don't think he was still cheating???

[@indiaandrews6996]

This lady’s husband waited for his wife to be out of town to ask the female neighbor out for drinks. This lady is beyond naive thinking her husband was being kind.

[@debfox]

I agree 100%! She has bigger than neighbor problems, she has husband problems!

[@Chet_24]

Why is she taking trips without her husband? That seems weird.

[@farhana6913]

​@@Chet_24 not really if you are in long marriages it's perfectly healthy. A lot of couples especially if they have kids given each other time away with their individual friends or individual families for respite from kids

[@Hellsbells888]

Debfox, the husband works away for a lot of the time. Has he got a second family going on? Not just the affair.

[@mrussell1052]

Why can't it just be a husband trying to help his wife, admittedly he didn't do it the best way. Not all husbands are cheaters. And we know just how manipulative women can be in this type of situation.

[@standground7956]

*As a husband, I don’t give two schits* about what’s going on in another’s women’s life or her personal issues. Many call me a jerk, that’s fine. I will hear out my mother and biological sister issues here and there. Other than that, I’m good with only being concerned about my wife.

[@50statesUSA7]

Those are wise words to live by caring about another woman like that opens yourself up to problems it ain’t worth it

[@robertandkristinhall5006]

Exactly. Anyone in a committed relationship should not be worried about issues of someone of the opposite sex. Tell this lady to go find her own man.

[@laraludwinski8378]

Amen!

[@NaturalBeauty214]

As you should. Too many married men think they can straddle the fence and be a sound support when all it does is open the door for emotional entanglement.

[@CulturedClassics]

You all sound like 16 year Olds talking about adult situations

[@Matrimonyncheese]

If your "friend" is willing to go on what they think is a date with your spouse, that isn't a friend ....

[@dawnywarthog6642]

Not much of a "spouse" either. The spouse is the one that took the vows.

[@CrayolaCoffeeBean]

They both suck.

[@ArmOr_of_the_Alpha_and_Omega]

​@dawnywarthog6642 friends also have a responsibility to be loyal though. BOTH are guilty. Not just one or the other...BOTH.

[@amyhughesbudgie]

She has manipulated you into feeling guilty for having boundaries. You are not responsible for this lady's feelings.

[@saeedhossain6099]

are you referring to the caller or the caller's friend? a simple question would be, "Who paid for her trip to Hawaii to help with the mother and was essentially a "Porter"". sorry but the lady's story adds up as well as my son's narration of how there are only crumbs left in the oreo package.

[@amyhughesbudgie]

@@saeedhossain6099 sorry I can't make sense of your reply

[@saeedhossain6099]

@@amyhughesbudgie Is it the caller manipulating Dr John or the callers friend manipulating the caller. sorry but in any story where the narrator presents an immaculate victim, I'm assuming I'm listening to either a Disney story or one fabricated (or conjured) out of whole cloth.

[@LolaizaJazzmine]

Psycho neighbor. Good for this lady putting stop to madness.

[@Adrianafaith123]

How awkward to have your husband ask a single neighbor to go for drinks while your wife is away??? uhm....no....

[@annlatham]

Imagine visiting friends seeing a text on your husbands phone ( coming from his female coworker) saying she may come over to have a drink …. but your husband quickly lets her know his wife is there … giving a warning he’s not alone. Men are stupid.

[@rebelwithacause2229]

She is upset because she is “hurting her” because she has no one. Honey, there is a reason this person has no one. Choose yourself first. It’s okay.

[@allthingseducation]

Not all of us are lucky enough to have someone -- I don't but I do respect people and their boundaries. When I want to be clingy i just watch videos instead - I know proper behaviour. My cats help too! Please don't judge all of us out there who have no family or friends sometimes it just happens.

[@rebelwithacause2229]

@@allthingseducation this isn’t directed at you and those that do not have anyone. This is about the fact that she doesn’t respect boundaries and as a result has burned bridges over time resulting in people not wanting to spend time with her because she is overbearing and clingy.

[@allthingseducation]

@@rebelwithacause2229 I agree most of us who are alone would not do this! Thank you!

[@Kiara_Wrestler]

Yep I've been through this with a best friend walking over all my boundaries, then forcing me in a corner saying "you're all I have". It's emotional blackmail

[@MMAAQQ123]

This is a good point!

[@tanyamilewski5700]

The friend is crazy, the husband is shady

[@LLandS18]

​@@clearsky4003the wife is not shady.

[@candicane1]

@@clearsky4003wife isn’t crazy or shady, but she’s naive.

[@saeedhossain6099]

​@@clearsky4003anyone who paints themselves as immaculate victims are walking red flags, even the minute the caller's voice breaks into tears, literally it would be written into a Hollywood script.

[@vanessasingh39]

😂😂😂pretty much sums it up

[@SL-ud7tf]

Well said @Tanya

[@Price8903]

Her husband is the real problem. He knows everything and how his wife feels and he was sneaky in his approach.

[@truebengalsfan]

Who's friend is it ?

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Lady, your neighbour accepted what she thought was a date from your husband, while you were out of town. Sympathy or compassion or guilt is the LAST thing you should feel for her - make that someone else's job.

[@isay207]

Maybe she's been ghosted for a reason by other women. Got aggressive hitting on married men

[@dhritikapoor2897]

So your husband waited for you to go out of town to have a conversation over drinks with your friend? Lady, you are naive and too trusting . Everyone around is taking advantage of you

[@AdrienneJung.M]

Yep

[@doubleboy2388]

Yea she is very gullible. Her own husband is playing with her. And she doesn't have the ability to see the red flags

[@donaldlee6760]

I'm ashamed to admit but this sounds like something I'd do. Only the stupidest man on earth would sleep with the next door neighbor lady that likes creating drama. I don't think he wanted to sleep with the drama neighbor.

[@PackIsBack32]

Maybe, maybe not. We don't have all the facts. Agreed that it sounds fishy though.

[@miss.teetee1166]

@@PackIsBack32 we have all of the facts we need, we have enough facts to know her husband was immensely inappropriate and his behavior is unacceptable for a married man. His timing and his wording towards the friend was not okay. I think the wife is very naive to believe that her husband was being innocent with his gesture towards the friend.

[@Julie-me8hk]

He asked her out, he should never had asked her out, he is married, she is not.

[@bisiilki]

I go for drinks with my married male friends a lot. Solo. They'll call me and chat. It doesn't always have to be a problem!

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@bisiilki should be chatting with their damn wives.

[@LLandS18]

​@@clearsky4003her husband shouldn't ask any woman out on a date when he's married. Whether she's younger, older or a couple alien from Mars.

[@intello8953]

​@@bisiilki Lol what? Is your husband a cuck or something? You don't have any female friends or something?

[@honestreflections5541]

@@LisaLisaCJIf the men are her friends why does she now have to go through their wives?

[@karenswanson118]

Sadly I knew my husband was just as guilty as the neighbor. We ended up divorcing 2 years later after 25 years of marriage. Quite frankly it was the best thing that could have happened for me.

[@katmoore2151]

You're not Renee? I appreciate that you'd like for that to be the outcome, but I highly doubt you're the lady who called.

[@pepperp9529]

The husband is LYING ! No man would Not think that looks weird right off the bat.

[@TheAcidicMolotov]

Untrustworthy hateful person

[@marianemashkalo4182]

But she said he is brilliant!

[@Bazzman1974]

Nah. The husband is just as naïve as she is. If he had nefarious intentions, he: 1. Would have gone through with it 2. Would not have told his wife about the incident He's foolish, not evil.

[@christinao8877]

Fatal Attraction vibes. Billy Graham said he never put himself in the position that he would be alone with a women that would wasn’t his wife. No meetings, no dinner, no drinks.

[@jasonrodgers9063]

Former VP Mike Pence had the same personal rule. He was ridiculed for it, even though he was being upright and honorable.

[@deirdremorris9234]

Smart men. Saves their butt from false accusations.

[@annmcevoy9299]

Billy Graham didn't take an elevator alone with a woman. Smart man.

[@aqua6613]

@@christinao8877 different generation, different breed of men but it's a good policy. I'm a trucker and have to deal with a bunch of men who have women waiting for them at home while they are out here playing around. I'm not the one to play with because I was married to a cheating trucker too. I'll be the first to gather up receipts and to send them to your wife 😆 except most women are tied in and dependent on the money so they stick around or they have kids and don't want to leave for the kids etc. But what example are they setting for those kids. A toxic one.

[@LLandS18]

​@annmcevoy9299 Billy Graham was a monster that started the Evangelical movement into government. That started stomping out the separation of church and state. He was not a smart man. Also many women have come out and said that he had an affair with them and has proof. What he says and what he did are two very different things. Please don't hold up people like Billy Graham or any of these large mega church pastors as people. You should look up to. The pastors and the priests and the holy name that you should look up to are the ones who actually work with the poor. Who don't need private jets who don't have to drive luxury vehicles who don't need Coco Chanel top line suits. That aren't actively taking a million dollar salary at a time when people's average income was $5,000 a year. Billy Graham's not a good man. I bet you you have better men in your life to look up to than him. Also I will say there's an awful lot of adults that have come out and said you did things to them when they were children. But none of those have been instantiated and none of them have made their name public or gone after any money. So they're not looking for money. I'm just saying a lot of times where there's smoke. There's fire. If it was one or two. Maybe they're making it up but the two dozen of adults that have come and thinks that he did to them as a child. I don't know how fake that is. You know since we all want to protect the children. Like I said you have better men in your life to look up to than him.

[@taytayqueen7024]

Yikes…the husband should not have asked her out anyway. She sounds like she’s being delulu about her husbands intentions. Yikes yikes yikes

[@LovesLakes]

He did not ask her out. He merely said they needed to talk and told his wife in advance that he was going to do that while she was out of town so as to keep her out of it and protect her.

[@aqua6613]

@@LovesLakes my first husband was a douche. His "friend" sent him a naked picture of herself. They had been childhood friends. I asked him to correct her and he refused and made excuses for her unacceptable behavior. I took matter into my own hands and wrote her a lovely email. Well we ended up divorcing anyways and guess who he moved right in with him. That was my lesson never again to fight for a relationship with a man. He had already made his choice. It didn't last but 6 months with her anyways 😆 and I was glad I didn't waste my whole life in a marriage with a guy who put other women above me. Screw them both 😆. I had really low self-esteem back then. It taught me to "grow a pair".

[@LLandS18]

​@@LovesLakesWell you're a sweet summer child too. You're very nice. If your wife cut someone out of their life and it's just a casual friend, a neighbor. You do the same. You don't have a secret talk where you whisper in her ears. You know what it was cute in adorable when you were nailed. It's not cute and adorable. Not that you're an adult.

[@TheDirkKnight]

@@LovesLakeshe literally didn't tell her before it happened 💀

[@cindyms.1237]

The problem she has is her husband. He waits until she's out if town to ask her out on a date. He's the one in a marriage. It was super sneaky on his part because he didn't tell her it even happened. Your neighbor isn't your friend.

[@pattilemonhouse7911]

Equal guilt.

[@GameTime-yj6qv]

​@@pattilemonhouse7911husband more guilty because he is married.

[@pattilemonhouse7911]

@@GameTime-yj6qv , false. The mistress is an Interloper into a family. She doesn't care about the havoc she causes to that family.

[@GameTime-yj6qv]

@@pattilemonhouse7911 while that is true, there's no affair if the husband says no.

[@pattilemonhouse7911]

@@GameTime-yj6qv , there's no affair if the woman says no.

[@dayzeereyes128]

She’s delusional about her husband and he knows it.

[@hiddenhand6973]

Husband knew what he was doing, stop this.

[@bobbylacy2374]

Exactly! I think she is very naive to believe her husband was innocent in all of this. Men's egos get in the way and they really like the attention. The problem with that is the opportunity to take it too far at any time. Boundaries are there for a reason.

[@roadrunner9622]

​@@bobbylacy2374Yep. That's why you stay one step away from temptation. If you're not "in somebody's house having drinks," then you won't even be there to slip up in a moment of weakness.

[@jessicabender1301]

This lady wants her husband on her side. He is not on her side. He literally had drinks with her.

[@dq6169]

I found out after my divorce that my husband had slept with 4 (four) yes, 4 of my so-called friends!!

[@tatertot80]

I hope they're not your friends anymore!

[@charlesbell5500]

Friends are the worst for cheating. Having any friends in marriage is absolute suicide.

[@marietgagliardi]

I had a fake friend ask my husband out at church one day when I was sick. He called me to complain about it. I dropped that @$% so fast

[@beehungry6190]

Damn that is evil

[@Veracityseeker7]

Foul!

[@Jennifer-m3e8m]

Why would you ask a lady for a drink? He should not have been around her without his wife.

[@katiejon17]

There’s a whole lot of drama here. But the crux is: this woman may have no one, but she sure has been willing to push this caller out of her own marriage and family with the goal of taking her spot... leaving Renee with no one. Leave your neighbor alone and move on. I’d be keeping a real close eye on my husband too.

[@waterydepths5584]

I met a woman at a week long conference who got too attached to me. As the conference was ending she wanted to come to my house and stay with my husband and me. I told her no, it was a small one bedroom, one bath home with access to the bathroom through the bedroom and no accommodations for overnight guests. She then started begging, "I'll throw a sleeping bag in the corner of the living room, you wont even know I'm there." she was practically crying. Unbelievable! Thankfully she didn't know my address and I left the conference without further contact with her.

[@LotteLaVey]

Sounds like she was afraid to go home, maybe she had an abusive husband situation. (Not saying it’s any responsibility of yours to fix that)

[@sharonscain7673]

Your husband did the invitation! Get real lady!

[@NurseNikki316]

Maybe your husband shouldn’t be inviting her “for a drink” or any conversation behind closed doors 🤦🏽‍♀️ Of COURSE she thought it was a date!! This woman will just justify her husband’s bad behavior.

[@NBid-rp9ch]

Exactly.

[@ChrisAndCats]

I don't understand how he genuinely didn't realise he had just set up a date! I do doubt his story tbh. Nobody can be that oblivious.

[@EllenRipley42]

​@@ChrisAndCats I agree.

[@TheAcidicMolotov]

@@ChrisAndCatsuntrustworthy people tend to take the word of others over their own partner

[@davidvanwinkle5033]

You made that up. What a load of BS ​@@TheAcidicMolotov

[@veronicaa9996]

This is her husband's fault. He should have just called her on the phone amd set the "friend" straight.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

He's not the caller's father, he shouldn't be involved in her friendships at all. All the spouse can do is act as a sounding board for their spouse and offer advice, but ultimately other people's friendships are their own business. It's highly suspicious that he didn't give the caller a heads up that he was planning something, and that he waited until she was out of town to contact the neighbor, and that he suggested they drink together. I don't think he had good intentions at all, he's just scrambling to come up with an excuse, "babe, I wasn't cheating, I was trying fix your friendship!" The caller is in denial because she doesn't want to face the truth that her husband isn't faithful, so she'd rather blame the other woman. Tale as old as time.

[@SirenaSpades]

He shouldn't have been in contact at all.

[@thornyrose1235]

Sounds like the husband went to see her out of his own volition while his wife was away and then made up the stupid excuse about how he was going to talk to her about boundaries. His excuse that he couldn't talk to her when he got there is BS. He still stayed for the drink. She's blaming the neighbour but it sounds like her husband is going along with it. Red flag!!

[@flozzy1626]

too many assumptions

[@corinnalopez1774]

Yep!

[@madelineasmr926]

@@flozzy1626you’re right, there are a lot of assumptions going on in the video. But one, the husband should have included his wife in any private conversations and two, with the amount of people who cheat, it’s better to never put yourself in that type of situation with even a hint of something fishy going on. At best it was a terribly stupid action without much thought and at worst it’s exactly what people say it is. The man is already out of town most of the month. That’s typically not conducive to having a healthy, strong marriage as it is.

[@brownin329]

Renee, Renee, Renee...come on. Your husband had some plans. Your friend is not your friend. She is the only one responsible for making friends and she will make them if you leave her alone long enough. You should also make some other friends. Do it now.

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

BEWARE of needy, lonely people as there is a reason why they are in this situation. They can latch on to you and getting rid of them is very difficult. They can turn on you.

[@MMAAQQ123]

This was my ex bf’s mom. I felt bad at first for her and wondered why her own kids never wanted to be around her and why she had no friends. Welp she spoke horribly about me, tried to convince her son to cheat on me, she would introduce him to other girls, and she basically was fake to my face the entire relationship.

[@roadrunner9622]

Sad but true.

[@pepper1188]

Yep. If they have no friends, there's a reason. Huge red flag

[@pasoldier9304]

John didn't have time for b.s. As soon as the caller denied that her husband was on a date, he said, "Get to the question" 😂

[@glodaily]

I love this lady. She has such good intentions and boundaries. Feeling guilty sucks.

[@STAR-LIGHT.1111]

The neighbor is manipulative and doesn't sound like a good friend at all. You can't feel sorry for someone who goes against your boundaries.

[@ericworley4361]

We didnt even get to hear what exactly actually happened during the "have a drink and talk" incident between her husband and this woman....

[@caseymatos826]

Bless this ladies heart..... She has no clue of the manipulation of husband and friend.

[@TheHeartWeCarry]

My friends and I started a non-profit called The Friend Ship to help people navigate these types of social situations. Yes, social situations can be nasty and uncomfortable, but they can also be beautiful and are necessary to survive in this world. Best to the caller and good on her for being so open and thoughtful with her experience.

[@lorrainegonzalez8135]

Absolutely the best advice! Don't allow anyone to cross your barriers. Otherwise, you will get trampled on. You cannot have a friendship with someone who doesn't know how to be a true friend.

[@JusttRaquel]

It's funny how people blame the other woman for accepting the invitation, but they don't blame the actual husband for extending the invitation, which is a bigger problem

[@evelyndaisy9722]

Yes he was out of line for that.

[@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose]

You are right, BUT in this context, it seems she was waiting for this moment the whole time because she wanted a 3 some BEFORE this & INSTEAD of meeting single men online... She was literally thirsty for him 😩

[@BarnzTT]

AH YES. ALWAYS BLAME THE MAN, BUT IF THE SITUATION WAS REVERSED I AM SURE SHE JUST ACCEPTED BECAUSE SHE WAS PUT IN A VERY AWKWARD POSITION BY HER MALE NEIGHBOR.

[@BarnzTT]

The caller could not say no to their neighbor in so many occasions, but blame the husband for hanging out with the neighbor? Then let us take away girls night out shall we?

[@greenAbbot]

@@BarnzTT I can tell you are very wise and have something really important to say, because you used all capital letters.

[@melissaa.8547]

This poor lady doesn’t want to face reality

[@soupergiffy]

The neighbor accepted what she thought was a date from a married man - AND WAS FINE WITH IT! Goodbye, tell them why, and hope that encourages them to make true healthy changes. Good words John!

[@LaCantressa]

The neighbor is not the problem. Delony tried to address it, but her denial is deep.

[@deedeebrecca8645]

This one got to me. Miss Renee, I just want to give you a big hug. No matter what happens you have a big heart and I admire you so much.

[@trishashaffer8278]

I am grieving a loss of a friendship that i terminated in Feb still. She was a mean person to her family but love bombed on me and mine and i truly enjoyed our friendship. I thought our friendship would influence her to be kinder, however, it never did. I pray for her and her family that they are well but i couldnt deal with the toxicity anymore. Sending hugs and i pray this woman sees the issue with her husband asking her friend out for drinks while she was gone. That is messed up.

[@doubleboy2388]

What is wrong with this woman. There is a difference between being nice and tolerant. But she is being taken advantage of. Not only by this crazy neighbor. But also her husband. He likes this neighbor. And the neighbor knows that. Thats a big reason she has so much entitlement. Because she has feelings for this ladys husband

[@jeannet7443]

That the neighbor allegedly "has no one" is her problem and not this lady's responsibility. Good grief.

[@charlesbell5500]

I know eh? When she started crying saying, "she has no one," the clip from Spiderman popped up into my head, "I miss the part where that's my problem." 🤣🤣🤣 That's the attitude she needs. How the hell does her neighbour's loneliness have anything to do with her? Strange.

[@CaseyAvalon]

"Just because it feels bad doesn't mean it's wrong" Dang, that resonates! So true.

[@tamaramen4517]

My grandfather is naive like this. He would never have thought about how having a conversation can be misconstrued because he knows his intention and constitution.

[@rhondaa5191]

Love this. There are truly some beautiful souls that still trek this earth yet we are so jaded that we frequently fail to see them.

[@sallyspits]

If a single man tries to sleep with my girlfriend, I don't necessarily hold it against him. I will never be friends with him, but he's just doing what he does. I look to see how my girlfriend reacts to it. My eyes are on her, not him. If she goes for drinks with a guy and the guy tries to sleep with her, I am quite mad at him, but more than that I ask her "what the hell were you thinking? What did you expect?" and more importantly "why did you have drinks alone with a single guy?"

[@LLandS18]

Oh so it's perfectly okay for men to hit on your girlfriend make her feel uncomfortable. Hell personally as someone who's engaged and men still hit on me even though I have my ring on it makes me feel really f****** unsafe. But that's okay for him to do that because he's your buddy, right? But how she react you're going to judge her. Even if she just does what she has to do to make it under the situation and be safe f*** her, she's for the streets. This comment right here is spoken like a man who doesn't know what it's like to be a woman. You have no idea what it's like to be a tiny woman in a world full of angry men. I'm not saying all men calm down. You seem like the type who needs that clarification. But there are angry men out there that want to do women hard. The fact of the matter is women are the victim of violent crime more than men. One in every two women are going to experience sexual harassment. One in four women are going to be victims of sexual assault. One in three women are going to be victims of domestic violence. that perpetrator is a man 98.87%. So sometimes women have to do what they have to do in a situation in order to make it out in one piece. To not be assaulted to not be rape. So you're going to judge her for that. You're not going to protect her from that. I hope she sees you for what you are and walks away.

[@Veracityseeker7]

💯

[@madelineasmr926]

My husband had drinks one time with a single woman, his best friends ex when his best friend died. He went out of state for the funeral and they went out for drinks after to talk more. I was furious. It’s one thing to have conversations with someone over something traumatic but there is no excuse for a married man going out for drinks with a single woman regardless of the issue. I made it explicitly clear how NOT okay I was with it, no call to Dr John required. Thankfully it’s never happened again but it was extremely shady and gave me pause for a long time.

[@HDubya7880]

As a daughter-in-law to a Borderline MIL, the neighbor's behavior absolutely fits the pattern, and it's eerily similar to some of the antics my MIL would try to pull. My husband cut off contact w/ his mother 3 yrs ago & while I still struggle wt feelings of guilt & "that was too harsh ", I am also relieved that we don't have to attempt to force an appropriate, reciprocal relationship with her. She is unwilling to admit there is a problem, and she is unwilling to even try to make amends with her son/my husband. I keep reminding myself of that when I feel the guilt creep in - "She is CHOOSING to not get help. She is CHOOSING to not do her part to try to fix the relationship. She is emotionally immature and she needs professional, clinical help in order to heal. While I'm not going to sit in judgement of the husband's actions vs intentions, if the neighbor is Borderline herself, she could have acted provocatively in some manner as they often engage in risk taking behavior (drugs, spending, promiscuity, etc). Neighbor lady has BPD written all over her

[@samanthac.349]

I agree with you 💯. I think the neighbor likely had BPD. I recognized the behavioral pattern, too.

[@pamelavesey6381]

Her husband invited another woman over for drinks. While she was gone.

[@westbeach400]

Full stop! This is an issue

[@x-mess]

'. And got caught bc neighbor is.. Clingy

[@Chet_24]

I still don't know why the wife is taking trips without the husband. That seems weird.

[@Veracityseeker7]

​@@Chet_24People work, people have families. Other people have jobs and can't necessarily go. You sound like you would have a scary clingy possessive marriage. I guess that works for some people.

[@syrinx114]

@@Chet_24 You don’t think a woman should be able to go on trips without her husband?

[@saralik3871]

the husband asked her out though

[@charlesbell5500]

Exactly. Btw, I'd like to ask you out honey. 😘😍❤🤣

[@Caseinpoint1777]

Most likely this isn’t the only date her husband has gone on

[@meganbailey6511]

Her husband that comes home once a month? He would have plenty of opportunity.

[@joannaison8265]

Even family members have boundaries with their loved ones.

[@Mananon88]

Having drinks with another woman alone?? Completely inappropriate.

[@roadrunner9622]

Why couldn't he just have that 30-second conversation right there over the fence? And then he says he didn't even end up broaching the subject, because the friend "might go into hysterics." 😒

[@lisacraft9929]

The same exact thing happened to my mother. A new neighbor lady moved in next door and love bombed my mom. Knocking on the door all the time. Calling all the time. Telling my mother that they were going out that night, not asking her. Telling her. Crying because her grown children cut off all contact with her, boo hoo. Turns out, this lady had left her children and their father for another man. Broke up 2 marriages. Anyway, my mother ended up yelling at her pver the phone to stay away. It got ugly, but the neighbor lady caused it by being too pushy. The ironic part is that by forcing themselves on other people, they end up with no friends at all.

[@Prophezora]

Why is the caller cool with her husband?

[@texasdazzlers]

@@Prophezora She’s a weak person who is used to being a codependent to every toxic person in her life. He’s probably not a good guy at all, and she’s too blind and weak to realize it and command any respect for herself.

[@deirdremorris9234]

Religious abuse possibly? Christianty teaches to serve and love others, but forget yourself.

[@amaragrace94]

​@@deirdremorris9234 lol no it doesn't

[@deirdremorris9234]

@@amaragrace94 Actually it does. Im not saying CHRIST taught that. HE railed against the religious of HIS day. But Religious Abuse happens in every religion. Im "guessing" the caller might be a Christian bc Dr. John speaks in churches.

[@charlesbell5500]

@@deirdremorris9234 It also teaches not to covet your neighbour's wife! 🤣🤣🤣

[@donnaw2868]

"You have to choose guilt over resentment every time". Very well stated.

[@Alphaphotographer]

This lady is so kind and considerate. Love her personality. That pesky neighbor lady, especially after accepting an invitation to have drinks with your husband while you were gone, needs to take a hike.

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

I can’t believe she actually believed her husband 😂😂😂

[@user-ld2qx5yw3h]

The caller sounds a lot like me, just too nice, doesn't like upsetting people, ect. I understand how challenging it is to be in situations like that, firsthand. I hope she finds the strength she deserves.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Same! So many times. Recovering people pleaser here, and it's really hard. I love her heart genuinely cares about this person, but doesn't realize it's not mutual.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

Me three 🥹❤️ I need boundaries

[@angeronalove5799]

Dr. John, it was a joy to listen to this show. You were so supportive and so clear with her. She sounds like a lovely woman full of integrity and kindness.

[@Steve-lk1eb]

John needs to get better at saying “you’re dancing around too much and I think it’s best if you get to the point.”

[@PaulaCosta-wj7zc]

He does so in his own way.

[@saeedhossain6099]

gotta get those clicks, views and tune ins. everything this caller said reads like a poorly written hallmark movie with plot holes that'd easily fit a Mac truck. either Dr John is the most clueless person when it comes to people lying to his face to garner sympathy, he's doing it for the show, or it's just his kink.

[@universaltruth2025]

This lady is too nice & empathetic. And the neighbour is a bucket with a hole in it.

[@amberm5626]

This poor lady needs emotional boundaries. I've been there. She isn't responsible for the other women's lack of friends. I hope she finds peace.

[@chow902]

My neighbor is like this. I love her deadly, I really do. But she's an alcoholic and got too attached. She's has been disruptive to our family and I've lost alot of sleep because of it. I wish more than anything that we could be friends, but the cost is too high.

[@chow902]

*dearly

[@ST-rj8iu]

deadly and she is too attached? Okie dokie

[@stephaniec5215]

“My husband would come home once a month..”. ???

[@PinkHydrangea]

I found that very odd.

[@charlesbell5500]

Yeah like what kind of marriage is that?! 🤣🤣🤣

[@AbbaJoy1]

Yeah, John never asked about that. And I know men can be blind to women's flirting, but how can he not see that he shouldn't have contacted her, twice! I'm afraid she's in denial, and either John didn't catch that or didn't think she was ready to hear it. She says they've never been closer since that happened. 🤔 I'm suspicious, but that might be because I was naively trusting, myself.

[@KJ-nv9uz]

It could be his job. I thought she said he was retiring soon. We also dont know the extent of the stay. But knowing ppl with jobs that require travel, it's not that off putting.

[@SirenaSpades]

35 year gaslighting

[@joannawert3095]

Years ago a neighbor invited my husband to go horseback riding with her. I don't think so!

[@julianafrancis5699]

The men must learn to say No ,also.

[@ChrisAndCats]

He could have said that sounds like a great idea - my wife loves horses. Ie it's both of us coming....

[@aqua6613]

​@ChrisAndCats maybe it was horseback riding...without the horses 😅

[@sharroon7574]

Women need to find their own men instead of trying to steal from others.

[@Caseinpoint1777]

@@julianafrancis5699right.. How will he act without his mom around policing his behavior?

[@starsigngirl9789]

Sounds like this woman on the phone is an empath and that Neibour is a narcissist

[@audrey04021]

This is one of the best. Just truth, acknowledgment of right efforts, then Done And Dusted. We do not owe relationships to anyone. Period.

[@lubazak636]

In my experience, the fact that someone has no friends, there is a big reason for that.

[@joywebster2678]

Well that sounds judgy as heck. I relocated for a relationship, he died. I'm still in that new community, without any local connection to enter groups. I've tried volunteering, and other groups, but this community is closed. So until I can save enough to move, im isolated. But judge away.

[@taurinenrgy]

Some can be introverts, let’s not demonize everyone.

[@ST-rj8iu]

yeah, they have their shite together and got tired of weirdos that have no money and complain about their marriage. I am not a therapist, social worker, couples' counselor, or money lender.

[@taurinenrgy]

@@joywebster2678 is hard to make friends in small tows, people have their social circles and don’t like to take new people in. My experience has been worse in broke towns, people just walk angry.

[@murdahmammiez]

Her husband might have been possesive

[@meowdy87]

There is a reason people like this don't have friends- they don't know how to be one

[@rpurdy4821]

This neighbor woman has no one because she ends up driving them off just like she is with Renee and her husband. It's not Renee's fault that this woman doesn't understand boundaries and decent etiquette. Sometimes we just have to remove someone out of our lives.

[@philipramsden4975]

My wife and I are currently going through the divorce process. Her best friend was over helping set up for my daughter's graduation party and told me she was sorry about what was going on with me and my wife and then proceeded to hit on me. I turned her down, but damn. Women are something else.

[@susangrande8142]

Men do that kind of thing, too.

[@ifitdontapplydontyoucry]

Good on you to turn her down. Yes women are something. And things won't change until men stop simping and do the right thing. When a man matches a womans energy, he becomes one himself.

[@ifitdontapplydontyoucry]

​@@susangrande8142men who do that have the spirit of a woman. They were corrupted by one, usually momma.

[@IndigoMystik]

'Best Friend' - if you were her best friend, maybe you wouldn't be divorcing...

[@AlexBobalexRavenclaw]

When someone is desperate and lonely, they misread a lot of normal interaction as extremes. Having drinks with a friend, even of the opposite sex, in a public space I think is fine. In a private space, better be a trustworthy friend. I get her husband. He was likely trying to fix a situation and protect his wife by showing up and getting in between clingy friend and his wife, possibly to look threatening. But friend’s mental state of desperation totally backfired on him, he was not ready for her crazy. Renee, you’re awesome! I hope you and your husband continue to hold firm boundaries for yourselves and your neighbor.

[@mysticjen379]

I think this is what happened as well.

[@orielwiggins2225]

"People hurt themselves because they ponud up against your boundaries and then they blame you for that pain. " "Just because it feels bad, doesn't mean it's wrong. Just because you feel guilty, didn't mean you've made some mistake.." "If the person on the receiving end can't hear your holding them accountable, then you are right to say as for me and my sanity, we're gonna have to withdraw from this relationship." I needed to hear this. This woman struggle is how I feel far too often.

[@acts539rlm6]

Funny she called for help when she already knows it all? She has every answer before John says anything. Especially with the husband. He knew exactly what he was doing, and she has every excuse ready to go on his behalf. There is no personal accountability in this lady’s tone at all

[@lindarockower6028]

Picked up on this. She enjoyed the validation from the neighbor & she almost comes off as passive aggressive here, not setting boundaries, then playing victim. Exhausting.

[@coconutwater4531]

@@acts539rlm6 yes she’s a martyr who gets off on being a victim

[@alaynamarino]

I love how you said that "as for me and my house, and me and husband, and me and my sanity"

[@arimax888]

Major🚩🚩🚩s😕 Her husband is so comfortable playing it down & giving excuses which leads me to believe that this is NOT his first time!! She's in denial, likely has low self esteem hence why she'll likely just look the other way once she realizes that he is cheating

[@Sandy-of6gq]

Omg I almost made the same mistake with a neighbour who had no life and wanted to attach an umbolical cord to me. It's so hard to put boundaries with those types of people, they just run over it/ guilt trip you/ get scary.

[@ohiogma]

Had a “friend” like this once. She had a miserable life. invited herself on our vacations constantly hung around our home. She snapped at me at times even when I was good to her. She wanted my husband my home the car I drove she wanted my entire life, it just took me a long time to figure it out. Stay away from this woman

[@Beverly2020]

Several years ago I was love bombed by someone at work. None of my work friends wanted to include her in anything we did outside of work hours, because she really was very quirky. After getting to know her, I realized how deeply she was wounded from a horrible childhood and she had dragged that into her current family. After years of being smothered, I ended the friendship in a very hurtful (to her) way and I still feel terrible about it. Later she was fired from her job for being unreliable, although she was extremely talented. I feel like I will carry guilt for hurting her forever.

[@shirleyfgfgh7082]

You dodged a bullet dear.

[@larissabrewington9065]

She lost me when she said that her husband asked to talk then have drinks. Married men don't do that with their wives friends alone. It's just a bad situation... This did NOT scare him in the way she thinks. He was scared cause he realized that he couldn't do this without destroying his marriage.

[@towpottsfam7631]

Why the hell is this man doing this behind her back while she's away with drinks and realising he can't even talk to her about what was planned. Red flag

[@bernadettehuff2984]

Ya, I think some of her not wanting to continue the "friendship" is she felt threatened by the neighbor and the husband. I am single and old, but a couple moved in across the street from me. She was about 4 yrs older than me and him about 5 yrs older. She came across the street, knocked on my door and told me not to steal her husband! I told her, no worries, I don't want the one I have, why would I want yours? LOL Women are threatened by single women.

[@VioletRaya-w7y]

​@bernadettehuff2984 that is so weird.. if ppl are easily threatened by neighbors, then they should live off grid lol

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

​, she wasn't threatened, before... THey were friends e

[@Caseinpoint1777]

@@VioletRaya-w7ynot just neighbors. When women like that feel insecure in their relationship they perceive every attractive woman as a threat

[@joywebster2678]

​@bernadettehuff2984 yes I wascommenting elsewhere on this feed that I moved to this community for a man as an older woman, he died after I go here unexpectedly. I've tried to break into the community alone but single women are not welcome, as married women grab their husband's arms tightly. Sorry I'm not looking for a " man" I'm looking for community. But wow..older women are protective. The man that died was a single never married man.

[@ChrisAndCats]

0:56 who cares if she was upset? And 12:28 NO! Not what was *she* thinking - what on earth was *HE* thinking? He cannot be that ridiculously oblivious, surely?!! He invited her on a *date* !! How did he supposedly not know that? I'm sorry but I really doubt that story.

[@x-mess]

That 3some comment as well…..

[@texasdazzlers]

A borderline finds a weak codependent, and her husband saw a chance to get lucky. There, I fixed the title.

[@jeanettejones6325]

Exactly!! Renee is blind as a bat!! When I heard the 3some part😮

[@jeanettejones6325]

What is wrong with Renee?? She is weak as a newborn kitten!! Both the neighbor and her mother can kick rocks😤

[@texasdazzlers]

@@jeanettejones6325 She sounds very bored and lonely, honestly. Codependents thrive off of these kinds of relationships, no matter how much they complain about them. I think she’s craving the companionship she isn’t getting from her husband, and I get the feeling he isn’t as great of a guy as she thinks he is.

[@Caseinpoint1777]

Nailed it 🎯

[@kathyhansen2820]

Actually he probably dodged a bullet. The neighbor will just move on to the next friend that happens to be married.

[@Kimball042]

This caller is being emotionally manipulated by the neighbour. My MIL did the same with her adult children.

[@phyllisarrington7436]

The husband is looking for a side chick. Wake up, caller 😮

[@Jenny-uv4dl]

Amen

[@roymercer22]

Is this your reddit assessment? Lol

[@shanchan8247]

One thing I can't stand is clingy people! I need time to myself so I avoid people that constantly want to hang out.

[@ChrisAndCats]

I agree. Having people constantly "popping round" would drive me bonkers.

[@Amila-ym7ny]

They fortunately expose themselves too easily. I made the mistake when i was younger and never again. Those people have issues and are weird af. I want nothing to do w it

[@anniethomas451]

I finally had to set boundaries with friends and neighbors! They kept asking why I wouldn’t answer my door. I had one neighbor who actually pounded on both doors. I told them I will not open the door unless you have called first. Then an old acquaintance (last seen 20 yrs ago), because I did not answer the door, left a post it note on a piece of my mail.

[@delainedelta5854]

Hey Renee, if you're reading this - please don't feel bad because it's hurting her - there must be a reason why she has no one. I had a similar experience and I can tell you it can only get worse. My so-called best friend tried to destroy my marriage (it didn't work). Do yourself a favour and terminate the "friendship" with this woman. Sending love and good energies from Germany

[@altenberg-greifenstein]

How naive to imply that people who have many friends are good, healthy non-toxic people

[@delainedelta5854]

I didn't say that and don't mean it that way. My response was just based on her situation.

[@dudeorduuude5211]

The caller is a nice woman. Her neighbour is that cat that asks to be pet and then bites you. Her husband probably had good intentions but shouldn't be inserting himself when it isn't his issue and he clearly doesn't know the intricacies. I suspect this neighbour is incapable of healthy friendships.

[@AJ-ml7xu]

You chose to include her…ma’am you didn’t have to.. let her deal with her own issues..you’re a kind woman.

[@ozarkview928]

Right on Dr John ! I know all about those kind of people! Been there .

[@marcicisketti4608]

Boy how I missed John’s therapist voice. So soothing, I remember when the only thing I had that was soothing to me was his audiobooks, 2 years ago, helped me sleep at night. Considering what I was going through and dealing with 2 years ago, sleep and wherever and whatever helps take it and use it ! I’m just glad that high high high stress is over with. What was dealing with is locked away forever in the part of my brain , that used to have to remember 25-30 numbers, we no longer use that part anymore, so I think that’s where all that bs went , and to be locked away forever! 😊

[@roadrunner9622]

Even if his invitation was innocent, why would they have to "meet for drinks" to have this conversation? He could have said it in 30 seconds right there over the fence.

[@Voodoofoxx]

It was definitely a conversation that could have occurred in the driveway.

[@luna84_]

First of all, its not anyone's responsibility how the other person feels after putting healthy boundaries toward someone else that just doesn't respect them. Which in this case is why this woman is lonely, bc she doesn't care and respect people of their boundaries. Im glad this guy Dr. John let her know on that subject. It hurt to here that she was hurting bc she supposedly felt she was hurting someone else but the fact is this other woman was hurting her. That's the bottom line. Former friend is just right. I wish all the best to this caller and her family. Sending love from Texas 💙

[@mary_syl]

Sounds like a classic needy loner situation where the neighbour has no boundaries and stalker tendencies. Not good at all. Only a very hard cut will do it and even then there's a big risk she will hound them and become vengeful. People like this can sadly become very dangerous in their delusion and you should never engage with them just out of pity! The female caller sounds like a very kind person but she too made the mistake of including someone out of pity and not setting boundaries before. I hope she can still resolve this without having to move! 👍

[@mariannawilk7260]

I’ve realized through the years that I need the people whom *I* choose as friends far more than the people who want me as their friend. I’ve always been a person who’s respected people, took my time to listen, even sacrificed too much in doing so, and cared and engaged deeply in my relations. Unfortunately, the energy-suckers sense that right away, and looking back at many of my friendships, they’ve been exactly that; me giving far more than I got back, exhausted after each conversation or meeting. I had to let those people go. I told them a few things, some understood, most didn’t, but I’ve always thought that it would not be fair to that other person to pretend everything is fine and then talk or think sh*t behind their backs, just as it would be unfair to myself to waste my precious time and energy at the expense of my own wellbeing. I’m still giving my absolute all in friendships but I’m more aware of who’s contributing positively to my life, more aware of the energy in that relationship, and guard myself against vibes that just don’t feel right one way or the other. I’m learning so much through this channel, thank you!

[@rhondaa5191]

This.

[@javaskull88]

She needs boundaries, but so does her husband.

[@wolfsupernova-fv4jd]

There is a word that describes this type of person who showers you with love, then tries to manipulate you and make everything about themselves...