I Think My Friend Is a Pedophile (What Should I Do?)

[@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl]

He’s working at a daycare. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He needs to be stopped

[@yourworstnightmare1488]

guy's living his best life with his dream job and y'all here hatin'

[@HA-nj1qt]

@@yourworstnightmare1488💀

[@Schnuffbab]

@@yourworstnightmare1488😐

[@vanillaghetto]

Exactly. And who says his pics are fully clothed. This caller and the host are clueless. And neither of them calling out the obvious problem of this pedo-man getting a job at a daycare??!!! Can't believe this guy hasn't informed the daycare. This is why men should not be working with young children. Yeah, I said it.

[@getgudcyber924]

@@yourworstnightmare1488Dawg what

[@JohnThomas-lk8sz]

As a prosecutor who went after these cases, I would not give him advance warning that you report it. He’s going to destroy evidence.

[@rachels8597]

Bingo. If they raid his laptop unexpectedly and find nothing, that will just make everyone certain he is innocent. But give him time to cover up, and regardless of what they do or don't find there will always be a lingering doubt in everyone's mind.

[@johniii8147]

Exactly. Don't give him a chance to hide it. I don't care how good a "friend" someone is start messing with kids well it's time to take action. Keep your mouth shut to the person and report it ASAP. You'd much rather be wrong than allow it to continue.

[@sweetkids9]

The problem is an investigation would take much longer, which would mean more kids getting hurt while the investigation is going on. If he goes to him right away it's guaranteed that he would at least quit his job. A good investigator can get anything off anybody computer, even after deleted. I'm guessing Dr John has a good reason when he gives advice that is so cut and dry. I do understand where you're coming from though.

[@johniii8147]

@@sweetkids9 That assumes the computer still exists. You could easily just destroy it/get rid of it so there is no evidence to find. A warning gives the chance to eliminate any evidence.

[@blessedwifeandmama]

Absolutely

[@Mulatica89]

As a teacher, this terrifies me. I recently reported a fellow teacher for some red flags. He is a total creep and I am going to protect these children as if they were mine!

[@StrongerThanBigfoot]

Good for you. Report them all

[@brookerafferty7362]

THANK YOU 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jcoxy1057]

God bless you. thank you for all your hard work in raising our kids

[@everythingplayfull]

Good for you, I had a student teacher who got arrested for cp 10 years after. There were many red flags. Children could have been saved

[@mimique1111]

As a parent with a child at a daycare, thank you!! ❤

[@z.z9255]

As soon as he said “he works at a daycare” my heart dropped. Very sick and disturbed individuals should not be employed anywhere NEAR children

[@Sunmoonstars976]

They always find a way to get near kids.

[@GabrielleTollerson]

IKR

[@jessicajingle8012]

Same. My stomach flipped when he said that. I would be LIVID if I had a child in daycare and found out one of the workers was taking pictures of them just to keep as personal pics on their phone. And that's without any of the other info about this guy.

[@GrammaJo360]

They shouldn't be working at youth treatment centers either! The employers might keep a guy away from the girls but think nothing about one on one activities with a boy. Be so careful who you hire!!

[@zebzeifc8952]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@jessicajingle8012I absolutely agree, if I found out ANYONE is taking pictures of my son without my consent and that includes family, I’m not gonna be happy at all

[@gmoney1089]

"If everybody is smelling smoke, the house is on fire" good quote

[@ubahfly5409]

Alotta times it just ends up being Aunt Agnes' meatloaf. 🤷‍♂️

[@tiphotisted]

Or they’re all high af😂

[@shooby9496]

I'm gonna have to use that one.

[@HoffyRS]

Where theres smoke there’s fire more times than not.

[@Shannon_Robbie]

Sounds similar to the old expression: if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be a duck!

[@christophertrojanowski2769]

A collection of yellow flags is a red flag

[@collydub1987]

And the fact that photographing kids is an orange flag at the very LEAST

[@roadrunner9622]

The fact that he works at a day care automatically turns any yellow flags into red flags.

[@TheLily97232]

@@collydub1987 dark Fanta orange

[@ichigotheg.o.a.t]

​@@TheLily97232lmfao, lol. lmfao, lol. lol. lol.

[@kezzokav5905]

Yellow? What accounts for red if this is yellow?!??

[@SarahL.22]

Hearing "porn", "younger and younger", and "daycare" are RED FLAGS!!

[@tripl9]

yea bright red

[@gamingbypix]

The fact they worked in a ministry together is prob why they seemed like yellow flags not red flags 💀

[@chelsiewhite6601]

Asking for a friend what color are red flags for color blind people?

[@willuigi64]

@@chelsiewhite6601 red. It’s a figure of speech to represent something alarming about someone. yellow is potentially alarming, green is positive. They are not meant to be interpreted literally.

[@sleether4049]

I dont think men should go into daycare in general. A normal man would NEVER choose to do this job, there has to be an ulterior motive

[@PhoenixEMichelle]

Years ago I was on an international flight and in the row next to me was a young seven-ish year old girl traveling alone. She was seated next to an adult man that she didn’t know. during the flight I saw her get up and go into the bathroom. He was right behind her and I thought I saw him follow her in and close the door behind him. I immediately alerted a flight attendant who banged on the door until he opened it. It turned out they were in two different bathrooms. I felt silly and embarrassed but the flight attendant assured me that I had done the right thing. I know that I did.

[@ani1344]

Better that you endured a moment of embarrassment than for that little girl to endure a lifetime of healing from trauma. You did the absolute right thing and I think it’s brave. Good job!

[@dondrejames1679]

​@@ani1344 but that wasn't the dichotomy. It was alert the flight attendant or do nothing. Doing nothing was the correct choice. She portrayed an innocent person as a monster because of the screwed up fantasy in her head not actual reality.

[@skyde666]

so you dehumanized a random innocent man because you couldn't be bothered to check if he followed her into the bathroom or no?

[@elduchie68]

Ignore any criticism here. You DID do the right thing. I watch my daughter like a hawk if we are out together. If a concerned citizen called the police and they confronted me about any concerns from the public, I'd appreciate it. Also, it's not hard to prove parental rights to authorities.

[@jorgitoislamico4224]

Ignore the person promoting Satanic imagery and simbolism.

[@teenindustry]

The fact that he is choosing to work in childcare is huge. If I struggled with this I would work in the most kid free environment I could possibly find

[@danktankdragkings7117]

a bar?

[@AProbablyPostman]

I'm pretty sure part of treating this is staying away from children.

[@PoisondBacon]

⁠@@AProbablyPostmanI’m pretty sure that was the point of the comment jackass

[@Immortal4everable]

It shows that he’s not fighting to avoid his urges. He put himself there because he gets off on it.

[@scourge8097]

@@Immortal4everable If you go back to the original comment about the porn, that was the time. Porn HAS/IS getting more disturbing. The level of violence is...extreme. "Younger," to me could ALSO mean younger as in the "barely legal," type younger. He should have asked then what he meant. If they were drinking... Personally, I just keep going back and forth thinking about my best friend...then thinking about my Nephew. It goes from "No way could I turn him in based on this," and then I think about someone saying this to me, and then they're taking a picture of my nephew at daycare to take him and it's..."fuck it, not risking it." What an awful position to be in...but man, is there ever a scenario you'd be happier to be wrong?

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

As someone who was sexually abused my ENTIRE childhood... PLEASE SAY something. Do not give him a heads up. If something does not seem right... say SOMETHING.

[@Topseee]

Why oh why ...to waste time.on a podcast instead of discreetly calling the police....I do not.get it ...

[@sarahbennage1225]

Because he was afraid he was overreacting. He wanted confirmation that this was indeed a bad situation. Not everyone knows how to handle these things... I'm really glad I stumbled upon this podcast so I know, God forbid, what the territory looks like.

[@BreezybriefswithBrooke]

I agree. Say something!

[@susancuenin2137]

Say something right now!

[@morganssmashingpearls3329]

Meanwhile people are sympathizing with a self proclaimed pedo elsewhere in these comments. People are dumb.

[@jordanott5464]

Him getting a job with kids after that confession is a red flag.

[@thistleskeptic]

Exactly. If he intended on holding off from his urges/controlling himself, he would not be in a job around young children. He is working with kids because he is sexually attracted to them. I find it very hard to believe that this man has not acted on any urges and does not have child p*rn accessible.

[@CJ2023Incognito]

Bright fiery RED!!!!! Not yellow..

[@rachels8597]

@@CJ2023Incognito its like people think that it's only a red flag AFTER he molests someone.. nooo that's not smoke OR a fire, that's a dead body in a pile of smoldering rubble. You waited WAY too long.

[@user-jy7yw5kw3w]

@@bewiesinsalone1874 a man working at a daycare is kind of suspect. A positive I could see is that some kids grow up without a male role model, so having that early on and throughout all stages could be helpful.

[@lyndseymeagenwalker3057]

@@rachels8597 " it's only a red flag AFTER" that is exactly the issue! To me there is no such thing as, "fun with flags," when it comes to children. Evil is evil. It is not a spectrum.

[@Stacydsullivan]

It’s not ok to take pictures on your phone of kids in a DAYCARE. The parents need to know today OMG.

[@willardjoee]

“If everyone smells smoke, the house is on fire” perfect analogy.

[@Matclrk8]

agreed

[@GoatedKanye1]

Agreed

[@dylanlilley1491]

“ ahh I don’t see the flames so I guess we’re cool let’s just keep watching tv” this was so fitting for so many different situations man

[@boxtobox10o]

it's funny young girls ignore that when the 18+ man is good looking

[@stoverboo]

@boxtobox10o Always the victim blaming.

[@rfcbass6810]

I suspected my friend was a pedo. I lured him into a conversation. He is facing sentencing on the 28th. Dude is going away for years.

[@Lppt87]

😮 how? You reported him?

[@rosiemackenzie5976]

Never underestimate the power of a gut feeling.

[@itmattersnot1216]

May God bless and keep you always for doing the right thing

[@Joey007ist]

One of those few crimes where all friendships have to be tossed aside to do what’s right. Immediately.

[@ImperialKnight86]

How did you suspect?

[@ember13dp]

This guy got counseling for being attracted to young people, then GOT A JOB WORKING WITH KIDS?!?!?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@stellarocquie7957]

Sure. There are mindless, irresponsible, enabling people who will tell you that pedophiles are treatable and curable. Nice, huh? And THERE'S NO ACCOUNTABILITY. Let THAT sink in.

[@cjpatz]

I know right. I don’t think of this Counceling as something you can graduate from.

[@garynaccarato4606]

@@stellarocquie7957 In my opinion once somebody is clinically diagnosed with pedophilia by a mental health professional (and or they get convicted of anything like that) they should automatically be legally barred from any kind of occupation that involves children right off the bat.

[@fkUtoo]

Why red flags how ridiculous. I could say same thing about Trans men talking to children in school about s3xual choices if you wanna go that route.

[@TT-rz5td]

I'm fairly confident that in the interview when they asked him "why do you want to work here?" He didn't say, "because I am attracted to children." 🙄. Moron.

[@calgal5752]

DO NOT GIVE HIM A HEADS UP!!! Report him! Your duty is to protect children! This is the first time I strongly disagree with Dr. John. Don’t give him the chance to destroy evidence!!!

[@suegreen7798]

My father abused me for years, this was in the 70s. No one stood for me, even when I tried to tell them. Large family, 7 siblings all older than me, no one did what needed to be done. He went on to be convicted years later for being abusive to his stepdaughter. They don't stop until someone does something.

[@nau304]

I am so sorry 😞 How are you healing yourself from all the trauma?

[@murielinez]

It was very brave for you to report your experiences to your family. I so sorry that no one listened. My guess is that they knew. Given you are the youngest of 8 siblings they may have seen it as a sick right of passage. I hope that his eventual conviction brought you some peace.

[@gamingbypix]

Glad he was at least convicted! Convictions are rare! Even more now even though we have loads of survelince means etc. Glad you're healing and hope you're doing well. I was in a similar situation.

[@witchbitchnoelle9110]

I'm so sorry. The guy my moms sister married messed with me for years & Ever since The truth came out my mom's sister has blamed me for it every bit of it. How tf can a 12-15 year old "seduce her husband?. To top it off, she's still friends with him til this day.

[@fetaa_cheese]

thank you for sharing, sue. i’m praying for your healing and thinking of you. survivors are a huge family as well and im giving you a big hug ❤

[@NoudlePipW]

*NEVER* warn them!!!?!?!?!? If he has nothing to hide, he doesn't need a heads-up.

[@amandapanda2529]

I agree 100%. He knows it's wrong so.

[@JessicaKarsten-z7t]

Yep. No warning.

[@anonymouse9833]

Yeah this is that "religious counseling" crap that I hate

[@JUJU-._.-]

FACTS!!! Because his enabling ass family will 100% give him a call about what’s coming up

[@susanpage8315]

⁠@@anonymouse9833In my last church a man sexually assaulted his adopted daughter (age 5). He was allowed back in the church because he “paid his dues.” As anyone knows, churches are a pedo’s dream. They claimed he would never be alone with children! Unbelievable, but not surprised.

[@TheProPainter]

No friendship is worth not protecting those babies

[@0annonymous]

One thing to do to protect yourself, is to report the crime anonymously so that report doesn’t come back on you The idea is to report without being found out, but start backing away, so you don’t get caught In the wrong place at the wrong time when the hammer comes down You don’t have to be obvious about backing away from the person. Once you find out what they really are, you can cover your own tracks if you’re cleverly, creative enough to not be discovered, as the one who turned them in. You must be really smart about it, but it’s also up to law enforcement to make sure they don’t reveal you either The idea is to be able to safely and anonymously report crime without ever having to worry about having any future involvement later on when it goes to court Don’t even offer your signature anywhere because you don’t want to be identified in any possible way…. If someone you’ve known for a long time, has suddenly revealed something about themselves, that’s not right, be sure you don’t get caught in the middle of it when the hammer comes down

[@stargateproductions]

@@0annonymous With the way the justice system is, I agree with reporting anonymously.

[@no_regerts5176]

Have you guys read the 6th Amendment? You have the right to face your accusers. You have the right to discovery of all evidence. Failing to know this and remain involved means the bad guy wins.

[@monejohn9973]

​@@no_regerts5176 I'd confront u with something u can't return from ....f00l

[@sewingbreesinger4831]

This right here!

[@notormal]

Exactly! As a parent, as a daughter, as a human... I would be grateful for someone to speak up and question, even me vs being affraid to offend anyone.

[@lobstah_chowdah379]

Telling him you reported it to law enforcement is a horrible idea that has a high probability of ruining the investigation

[@GenericScreenName808]

I was thinking this too, giving him time to wipe the hard drives is potentially problematic if he’s the least bet tech savvy

[@GenericScreenName808]

I’m in a safe, well-funded, progressive purple city and I forget that not everyone is as lucky. Is it safe to assume not every police departments has resources for situations like this? Like if there’s alot of gang violence your town might have a special unit dedicated to that, if someone isn’t trying to make a name for themselves by going hard on a particular type case I just wonder how many people fall through the cracks

[@lobstah_chowdah379]

Most major cities with large police departments have a unit dedicated to these investigations. Smaller towns would usually prioritize a case involving potential harm to minors especially someone who has access to children unsupervised

[@jameson1239]

@@GenericScreenName808deleted stuff isn’t gone even smashed hard drives can have data recovered there are very specific ways to make data irrecoverable

[@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis]

NO!!! Absolutely do not warn him that the cops are coming!! That is a horrible idea. The friendship is done at this point- now focus on protecting the kids. There’s so many reasons why you shouldn’t warn him, and there’s zero reasons why you SHOULD warn him. He could potentially destroy evidence, he could harm someone else or himself, he could hinder the investigation. Why give him a heads up, to be courteous? To make yourself feel better? That’s out the window. If he’s innocent, the heads up won’t matter. If he’s guilty, it might matter.

[@mossie1954]

Correct.

[@acfaio]

Why would the friendship be done ? You don’t just throw away something meaningful, I mean that’s exactly why he is calling. He wants to find solutions to stay friends with his friend. That’s why some people are considered REAL friends… and some just don’t want to be there for you and help you when you struggle. Please reflect on that.

[@dianemorrell9638]

​@@acfaioboundaries that's why. Lòok up the definition. Help the friend by stopping him.

[@austinschmidt8228]

@@acfaiohe literallly is not calling for that reason. He said in his own words he’s calling to see how to handle this situation he’s in.

[@hopematthews7457]

@@acfaiothis sounds like your making justifications for someone attracted to kids? no one is obligated to stay friends with someone like that lol. what world do you live in bro?

[@itslochjess2111]

This caller lost me at "he works in a daycare". Bro, you know something could happen and it will be on your head.

[@Printknight528]

No it won’t be on his head. No evidence to throw him behind bars. Just a feeling and drunk conversation. Maybe he gets fired from this daycare but he can go to another one now he has no one to confide in

[@signity5540]

@@Printknight528I think he means in terms of conscience

[@MarieBender-np6vc]

Yeah "yellow flags" ? When it comes to children someone doesn't need to be physically hurt to be reported. There's no yellow flags it's a red flag. If you are questioning ANYTHING report it just in case

[@fatheranthony4pope]

Except then ALL daycare staff should be prosecuted as pedophiles by your logic.

[@dellavest9269]

No, not on his head. On the Ped0s head. Never spread that responsibility farther than the person committing the crime. No one can be held responsible for the actions others. Adult men are responsible for themselves. Js. But, once you know something, you cannot say you did not know, and going to the police would be the next step. This caller needed reassurance that what he was seeing was what he is seeing, and indeed, that is a reportable crime. We all know of a situation where we weren't SURE sure, and needed the input of others to tell us we're not crazy.

[@bohobabie5987]

I was raped by my father’s brother when I was 11yrs. That side of my family was deep into toxicity and many of the adults knew I should have NEVER been left alone with him. Unfortunately I was. If the adults in these kids lives do not take some responsibility and accountability they will regret it. I pray that they wake up before it’s too late✨

[@Hundredstuclo]

Ridiculous, call the police, warning him is ridiculous!

[@nomanejane5766]

And what is the police going to arrest him for? He hasn't done anything illegal, creepy yes, but not illegal. He needs to wear a wire and try to get him to admit to having cp or something

[@MrFrankEast]

@@nomanejane5766 Thats what brainless room temperature IQ dave ramsay fans fail to realize. Conjecture doesn't get people arrested. its essentially he said she said.

[@Cjdub357WestCoastUltimo-gd8rv]

Hopefully they will investigate like they get paid for

[@vanillaghetto]

@@nomanejane5766 He's already admitted to having a kiddie porn problem...hello, that's illegal. It's on his phone, computer, google, etc. And taking unauthorized photos of other people's kids is illegal.

[@illestvillain1971]

​@@nomanejane5766but sadly theres no way thatd work. Firstly if hes told him something he already is aware that he knows so if he asks abt the daycare hell get defensive real quick. How would you corral all these bits into a conversation?? It would be an accusation of something. If he tries to bring it up casually or assertively hell get suspicious instantly. Honestly theres probably not enough proof for a warrant to investigate properly. Interrogations woukd probably not get anything, and testimony is weak evidence. It sucks to high heaven.

[@sophiamichael2788]

The caller said that his friend is breaking the rules of the daycare center by taking pictures of some of the kids. The fact that he is willing to break that rule and possibly lose his job just to have a picture of the child on his phone is extremely telling.

[@cameronspence4977]

Yeah. Id say that qualified as a red flag, I can see how some people might not immediately realize but yeah. Thats a bit over the line...

[@SassySlater]

Also what is the purpose of the images? Name me one legit purpose?

[@jimjones3287]

@@SassySlater trading online, masturbation. These are purposes, none legit.

[@criticRN]

This ^ 💯

[@liz090833]

Exactly. And having it I think is part of the ritual type of deal bc think about it, he could just do a Google search, he likes that he took those photos. It's part of it, red flag? This is a crimson banner ffs! By

[@lindacrouch9054]

I have ZERO tolerance for someone who looks at a child in any kind of inappropriate way. DO NOT tell him that you are calling the cops and let them seize his phone and computer! You have to stand up for the children!

[@constance6761]

Exactly. No mercy, no grey area.

[@ApriliaRacer14]

ZERO!

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

@@shaderrr9666 Go to the police station and turn yourself in. There are plenty of services in prison.

[@shaderrr9666]

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 you know that pedophiles want help aswell? We are humans as everyone else and are born with different brains....

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

@@shaderrr9666 You mistake my comment for being malicious, it isn't.

[@laurensimonee]

He shouldn’t even speak to him about it, just report him and cut ties. That’s insane

[@xxmike505xx]

Don't talk to this dude first. Nope! You don't tell the potential perp that you suspect this. 1) You make an anonymous report to the daycare. 2) You call CPS and make an anonymous report. 3) You call Crime Stoppers and make an anonymous report. 4) you make an anonymous police report.

[@1463FJ]

Wrong!! Do NOT tell him!!!

[@hoodhippychick]

🎯

[@GOLDFISH817]

They won’t follow up on it if you have no evidence I fear

[@Oliviaandtrina]

​@@1463FJ did we read the same comment?? The first sentence says NOT to tell him.

[@Newcards4u]

He was testing the water when he disclosed that he felt attracted to children. To see if he was around similar people, so he knows who he can talk further with.

[@susanlosey9511]

That guy is studying to be a minister. He is mandated by law to report him for his actions towards children.

[@badfish420]

Honestly? By not reporting the guy, he's would be doing what so many people have done when faced with the sexual abuse of children by the clergy of almost every major Christian denomination (JWs and Mormons included). The amount of trauma inflicted on innocent children and covered up by agents of the various churches is appalling, shameful, and very unchristian.

[@Mommapunkin]

Maybe so, but chances are...they will not. Because it will destroy his life, he can be rehabilitated without destroying his life. Religion is a strange bedfellow..

[@terryperry4160]

So is any counselor, even if it's their patient. My sister was a school counselor and the sad and horrifying things she learned and delbt with made her eventually change her vocation. She was mandated and did what was the best for her children.

[@Summer.Gold1]

ANY adult human being is mandated to report.

[@youcaninspireme]

I disagree with having a conversation with the “friend.” Go to the authorities and let them investigate.

[@jennifert2953]

Oh boy no! I’ve been a daycare teacher my whole life! Can’t take pics of kids! Nope. That is instant termination.

[@Willy123T]

Really? I specifically remember an event where my boss told me to take pics for the facebook page. Of course all the kids had photo release forms signed by their parents, so it's a lot different from what I assume the caller is talking about.

[@eurekahope5310]

I am curious about this, too. Many classrooms take pictures of kids for yearbooks and classroom displays. In the age of personal phones, maybe classrooms should have a designated camera so their is a clear delineation between photos for classroom purposes and photos of children for unknown personal purposes.

[@mariee.5912]

@@Willy123T I guess not on your personal phone.

[@EmpressMermaid]

I'm a teacher myself. There is a HUGE difference between taking and displaying photos for class-related purposes and taking and storing them for your own personal use on your phone. We have it drilled into us in our training that all interactions with children must be public, above board and transparent.

[@EmpressMermaid]

@@eurekahope5310 That's why I've always made it my personal policy to use separate electronics for teaching and personal use. I have a Google Voice number for communications if I need to talk to anyone outside of school hours. (This became an issue during lockdown when I taught from home, but I stuck to it) Most teachers don't go this far but I feel it's for both my protection and theirs.

[@belle-v7q]

Wow, I am so grateful to this caller!! What a good man

[@ey3z4ya]

Is he tho?

[@shamarirobinson6432]

​@ey3z4ya asking advice about how to protect the kids, I would say so. He is a little spineless but not a bad person

[@Amy_399]

​@@ey3z4ya he is, he's just disappointed in his friend, its not easy to report a decade long friend.

[@scootchieandboo]

Great conversation. I was victimized as a child because no one wanted to confront or accuse the nice uncle, what hurt most was my own family started to discuss all the signs they saw after i came to them. All those signs and not a word because his feelings were more important than my safety. Even today im told if i only spoke up sooner, like they werent the adults. Jim you are the adult, one that could save children because youput them first. Not a friend on this planet is worth tolerating pedophillia for, please i hope you stopped him

[@deannajohn1209]

😮

[@yuhboi8559]

I’m so sorry you went through this! Thank you for being brave

[@ihateallyall]

I had an uncle too who wanted to have me over, just me not siblings, when I was 5 so he could teach me basketball. he specified to my dad “drop her off, I can teach her” my dad said he had a bad feeling and told him hell no. a couple years later, he was caught sending sexual texts to the players on the basketball team he coaches, 14-16 year old girls. then some time later he married a woman 30 years younger than him.

[@NefariaAdventures]

@@ihateallyall was his name Boyce?

[@GusMac-kv7zi]

I have seen this personally and I was teenager and spoke out, nothing was done for my cousin and it was discovered later she had been victimized. At the time I also saw that her mother was turning a blind eye and putting her child in situations alone with the perpetrator and that was my cousin's grandfather. My cousins aunt ran away from home at 15 turned out she was running from SA. My aunt knew full well my cousin was being abused.

[@test1test219]

Noooo! Do not tell him. He will hide evidence, and just keep doing it!!!!!!!

[@Notcoolmom]

I work in geriatrics. If I had a mental illness that caused me to want to abuse SPECIFICALLY confused elderly patients, I wouldn’t work in hospice unless I was planning to do something bad. Why would you even put yourself in that situation unless you are actively looking for victims?

[@purplepheasant4776]

It's not a mental illness! It is an active decision like every action is. Everyone wants to be "free" while denying autonomy. We all have choices.

[@20maxilo]

yes you said it. He was actively putting himself in the situation.. This happens alot. If you look online there are several cases of these people being in children specific fields... Its not uncommon at all

[@stacybroussard3097]

Amen!

[@0annonymous]

One thing to remember is when doing background checks, you might not necessarily find anything Sometimes a person has very little to no criminal history, and then they may do something like this Let’s say you know, someone who happens to be a drunkard, and you know they drink and drive, and let’s say they may be in their 50s Let’s say you do a background check and they got caught when they were 19 and haven’t been caught since…. Let’s say you didn’t even know they’ve had a history of drinking and driving until you got to know them…. OK, so something comes up and you later have to do the background check and find out that what you know has been going on for a long time has happened before and there’s only been one incident where they were actually caught, but they haven’t been caught sense because there’s no further reports OK, now imagine this with creeps They may have little to no criminal history, if nothing ever gets reported I was abused by my drunken abusive parents for 13 years…. Nothing ever got reported because I didn’t have the opportunity, And I was too scared to say anything Just because there’s no criminal history doesn’t necessarily mean something may not be going on secretly behind closed doors Let’s say you hire that babysitter, and they came back, clean after a deep and thorough background check…. Comforting, right? So you leave your child with them, but at some point, things start happening, and you don’t know why No, you must go through the process of trying to figure out what’s going on between your child and the babysitter, but you might not even get a clue for a while, because let’s say it may be hard to detect, especially if the child happens to be nonverbal Let’s say worse yet you also happen to have a special needs child…. But remember, you did your homework and deeply background checked that babysitter, only to eventually find out they’re a creep, who was never caught The same was with my drunken abusive parents, who were eventually caught again for child abuse 13 years later, after they killed, one child, and it made the paper Same goes for that drunk who was caught at 19 and took steps to never be caught again So the drunk goes on with their life only until they end up, slipping up and messing with the wrong person Just because there’s limited criminal history doesn’t mean they’re not still doing something secretly, just like my abusive parents who lived their whole lives as drunks from the age they could legally get a hold of booze Just because there’s limited history on someone or even know history, when you do that deep background check doesn’t necessarily mean they may not secretly be doing something behind closed doors I’m not saying this is so in every single person’s case because it’s definitely not…. What I am saying, though, is sometimes you have a rare case where are you come back with a clean background check or with limited criminal history where maybe they’ve gotten caught doing something small, pretty much a misdemeanor…. What you may not know, is sometimes in certain rare cases, something could still be going on behind the scenes if someone knows how to cover their tracks, so well it pretty Heymuch looks like a white collar crime Just because someone has a clean background doesn’t always mean they’re innocent, although in many other cases, they really ARE When dealing with creeps, most of them tend to slip up some time or another as you get to know them, whereas others may be good at covering their tracks, and avoiding being caught A good many of them will reveal themselves sometime as you get to know them, others may never get caught, but that doesn’t mean they may not secretly be doing something I’m not saying this is the case in every single case because it’s not What I am saying is, there are some of those rare cases where you may have a creep hiding in plain sight I’m not saying this is the case in all cases, because this is rare

[@Slightlysalty1]

The pull of wickedness is ferocious and not everyone is strong enough or conscientious enough to abstain from their desires no matter how terrible the desire.

[@snowps1]

No warning! Call the police now and let them take care of it.

[@pandabear7177]

Do not warn him!!!! Just report it. Full stop.

[@matlabatt]

What are you with the fbi pedophile protection department. Your advice should have your laptop checked with a warrant.

[@matlabatt]

Sorry i originally thought you wrote " do not harm him"

[@beepbopboop7727]

Exactly

[@Printknight528]

Report what? Feelings and a drunk conversation?

[@pandabear7177]

@@Printknight528 yep

[@ChipZilla69]

Don't warn him. Just gives him an opportunity to hide the evidence.

[@conflict7269]

Yes the worst suggestion ever he should have went to the cops anonymously

[@jordanjoestar-turniptruck]

Remember To Catch a Predator? The reason it got cancelled was during it's Murphy TX sting, Hansen's crew and the police got sloppy and did some things to accidentally tip off one of the predators. They were going to show up at his home and waited outside for hours. He knew the writing on the wall and was destroying evidence, and when the police broke into the house he offed himself. His sister sued NBC and dozens of predators went free because prosection didn't want to deal with these investigations anymore. NEVER give a predator a heads up.

[@LuisSanchez-xc9ih]

Right because is not like he’ll be able to see this video

[@anthill1510]

@@LuisSanchez-xc9ih How likely is it that the guy listens to this show? Also it takes a while till an episode get`s published after a call, so there is plenty of time to call the police before the video can even be found anywhere.

[@melodysuain3239]

People would rather put their kids at risk than offend their family member!! If his family feels it, they should do something!! He's taking photos of kids! Great job John.

[@aqua6613]

I warned my ex's best friend after I noticed strange behavior. I got cussed out. 2 years later I found out he molested his friends 7 year old...he was 38. I wish people would listen and at least be more observant with their kids after someone has warned them. He was totally engaging in grooming behavior.

[@abemartinez9623]

Had a 13 year old cousin SA us. Bro was 9 I was 11. I regret everyday to this day not outting him. My mom always talks about how much she loves him. I hate that guy makes me angry when I see him. Still can’t bring myself to say anything. We’re all in our 30s an when he gets near me I get straight up hostile. Ugh I don’t think I could bring myself to say anything at this point . What a terrible thing

[@bofasofa9399]

P3do= mental thoughts/attraction m0l3stor/r4pist= physical action has been taken Just being attracted to someone does not mean you act on it.

[@TtotheCizzel]

@@bofasofa9399 i wish more people understood this

[@arlene385]

@@abemartinez9623 iiui

[@sedrickblake1017]

If I were to ever even think that I liked minors, I would absoultley NEVER work at a daycare. I would quit that job instantly and stay as far from kids as possible. The fact that he works there and did not have the line of thinking that I just had means that he is a danger to kids and he is intenaionlly putting his self in situations where he gets to be closer and closer to his fantasy.

[@SS-lk2ej]

Warning a potential pedo that you’re calling authorities is a perfect way to ensure they can prepare in order to get by with everything and continue to harm kids while falsely presenting as a stand up person in the community. If you have a suspicion, call a detective and let them handle it.

[@aaronoverstreet6082]

Exactly!

[@boxtobox10o]

where's this energy when young girls get with 18+ men and actively want them for things like money, maturity, D, endless things? no shame there for the girls apparently

[@tristybrooke33]

We are REQUIRED to protect children that exist in our society and communities. Required!!!

[@doxxandkillpedophiles1361]

….What requirements are you talking about? Is there a law about it I haven’t heard of? Not saying I disagree just that you phrased it horribly.

[@mst-pierrem5729]

That's a morality thing, but unfortunately not a requirement if your just in your personal life (I wish it was it'd be better ).

[@jes6161]

amen

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

What? Naw lol defeats the whole purpose of not having kids. That’s the parents job.

[@jamiestwrt]

@@doxxandkillpedophiles1361 Morally obligated maybe better wording. But who cares, she's right.

[@lisacorbett6950]

This is the worst advice i have ever heard for the health and safety of kids. Call the police. Call the daycare. Call DHS. DO NOT give him advance notice.

[@jmal529]

I've never heard this channel before but this popped up on my feed so I checked it out. I was literally wanting to scream at my phone because it's the worst advice I've ever heard for a situation like this because you're giving the guy PLENTY of advanced noticed to strap a brick to his laptop and phone and drop them off a bridge. I'm literally dumbfounded by the "advice" I just heard and I hope for everyone's sake that the caller had enough sense not to follow it

[@KufLMAO]

DHS?? What? Lol. You mean DSS?

[@Adkguerrilla44]

The guy on the phone is the "friend" hes testing to see if and what his friends may do if they suspect him of being a pedo

[@steveC2307]

John gives great advice generally but I’m not so sure about this. If he is a pedo he will be manipulative and conniving. He will toss the laptop and delete photos on his phone. Then the cops won’t have a case. Get the cops involved before he has a chance to delete anything. Like a conversation with him will result in him handing himself in? I don’t think so.

[@ElmoLahti]

You’re forgetting that the dude has rights and none of these services can do much without propable cause. What we have here is reasonable suspicion at best.

[@sweetnaomi56]

Ignoring red flags is how children get hurt. I hope justice has been served.

[@arote1]

This is dangerous territory. You should report and not tell him anything. As a medical professional I can say boldly child abuse or suspected child abuse is mandatory reportable. If you confront him, you put put yourself and family at risk.

[@sujoodalqalb]

This

[@cafeaulait69]

Report him for what, the police won't act without evidence.

[@wilsonthe5nake]

@@cafeaulait69 He has pictures of kids on his phone😪 he’d at least get fired

[@chem3066]

It’s only mandatory reporting if you are a professional SW, nurse, doctor etc.

[@kermitTheFrog466]

fully agree, cant believe he is giving thus advice. terrible

[@Alexistxsj]

“Younger and younger” IS a red flag bruh.

[@anthonymarino7718]

A grown man working at daycare is a red flag

[@Highontheholyghost]

Yup. Him saying “young” would have been one thing because all men like youthful looking women. But younger and younger is him trying to beat around the bush and get you to read between the lines ESPECIALLY that he said “Younger and younger to the point that it’s scary to me”

[@stinky_twigs]

@@anthonymarino7718 no, not really. the man who protected me at the daycare protected me from a woman, soooo... no. 😊

[@Kevintendo]

@@stinky_twigshow u remember that?

[@stinky_twigs]

@@Kevintendo because it was extremely traumatizing

[@roxweinzel7436]

Call the police. Don’t call friend first. Destroying evidence then he won’t be stopped and he’s already messing with that child. Hurry. Call the cops. Hurry

[@mossie1954]

You are so right.

[@bobbylacy2374]

Exactly! Err on behalf of the child. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse at 8, I saw this man from my sister's church singling out my 7-year old niece. I walked up with him holding her like a baby on his hip. He was taking pictures of just her and, all of a sudden, she's gone. I ask my sister and she says she might be at the fair display tent. I walked in and he was holding her hand and kept pulling her closer to him as they walked. I called her over and told her to go with her sister. She said, "It's okay. He's our friend!". Nope! After she was gone, I lit into this man and said I will protect her and you won't touch her again. He smirked at me and I knew I was right. Any decent man would have said they never realized how it looked, etc. He didn't. Trust your gut ALWAYS! Protect the children!

[@ELIZABETHMARLONE2005]

No don't do that my friend who was 16 was going through a tough time said he wanted to s a, a girl that he had a crush on but I talked him down from it and then his friends went and told everyone and shared screenshots of what he was saying and it made his feelings worse and so no learn from my story and don't tell people

[@ELIZABETHMARLONE2005]

​@bobbylacy2374 no don't "trust your gut" that's how you blow situations out of proportion like how my friend on the group chat when he was 16 said several comments about wanting to you know what to a girl he had a crush on by force I told him to cut it put and even made progress with helping remove those thoughts cause he was depressed but them his friends found out and told everyone what he was saying which only made his thoughts and mental state worse

[@ELIZABETHMARLONE2005]

​@@mossie1954in the situation with my friend his friends only made it worse by telling people and if he followed through it would have been on them

[@quintboredom]

14:00 NOOO, that's really bad advice, like everyone has pointed out, he WILL destroy evidence

[@jansilloway325]

I taught abuse prevention classes to elementary school kids for 10 years. These predators are “so nice!!” and teaching children and parents how to trust their instincts and red flags is what everyone should do. Thanks, Dr. Delony for this episode. It’s so common, it’s alarming.

[@lyndseymeagenlivingston7110]

Please link any that you can, education HERE. Jan, thank you for being brave!

[@nickdipaolofan5948]

Jan, that is what I keep trying to say to my wife. A few years ago there was a "super nice" guy in our church who was friendly with all the young kids and gave out candy and invited them to come play with his dogs, etc. My radar was instantly raised to keep an eye on this dude. One day my wife says that he was inviting our kids and others to come to his house to play and my wife was cool with it and I was like HELL NO. She was like, "why?! he is such a nice man and he is married and ALL THE KIDS LOVE HIM, bla bla bla" and she was mad because she already told him yes. So I had to go to him and be the one to say, "Thank you for the offer but I am not okay dropping off our kids to someone we barely know". He never got caught doing anything to kids that I know of but I am not at all sorry for protecting my kids when my gut was seeing all sorts of red flags.

[@ravenestrella2310]

Thank you for so bravely doing the hard, and, I'm sure at times, heartbreaking work of teaching such important classes to these children! My heart just shatters knowing that we live in a world where such classes are necessary!

[@jansilloway325]

@@lyndseymeagenlivingston7110 you’re inspiring me to put my curriculum together. The biggest lesson I learned was that “stranger danger” is not the issue; it’s friends and family of the children. I taught 5000 county school children every year for 10 years, and only one child had a reported incident with a stranger. By the time I stopped teaching, kids showing kids Internet porn was a constant problem. Be vigilant.

[@taradiane]

yeah they don't just groom the victim, they groom everyone involved with that child.

[@littleboots9800]

Him saying his pornography viewing was tending towards "younger and younger" was him telling you he is watching children being sexually abused in a round about way. That is a crime. That alone is enough for the dude to report him. At this point he will be complicit if children are abused if he doesnt act.

[@roadrunner9622]

What about the caller claiming to be "in ministry?" Doesn't that make him a mandatory reporter?

[@littleboots9800]

@@roadrunner9622 I didn't hear him say that, I thought he said nonce guy did stuff at the church. In the US it varies by state. In some clergy are mandated reporters, in some only cops and teachers and in Texas everyone has a duty to report.

[@dancing_qu33n]

Idk about the caller. He said he works in the ministry. I'm assuming he's a minister? He said he's a mixed drink kinda guy. A minister? His friend is a pedo; he's watching videos with his mate. A minister? You are the company you keep. I hope his church members recognise his voice and leave his church. Both are disgusting

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

You realize there’s 18 year old pron right?

[@adams303]

That and then getting a job working with young children…yikes. There needs to be a report made, and the situation investigated to ensure the safety of the children.

[@BeckyJayson]

Never tell someone you're about to report them. Call CPS and report. You can even do it anonymously. Report them, tell what you know, let them take it from there.

[@davidmcmahon6862]

John, absolutely flawless work on this call.

[@PaulM10001]

Terrible advice. Why would you warn him that you're going to contact the authorities ? Any evidence he has will be destroyed !

[@jvsaints3028]

I was molested by a neighbor when I was 5 and only recently remembered the situation. I am now 71 years old. Another little girl was with me and we never had anyone to help us. I don't think my parents knew about this since I never told them. I didn't know this man. It happens and we must protect children at all times when something doesn't feel right. Our guts tell us more about a situation than we realize.

[@FireSilver25]

So sorry that happened 😢

[@el5880]

Suppressed memories are a common feature in SA

[@XxSuicidalNinjaxX]

Im sorry you were hurt like that. You deserved to be protected but I hope you know that it doesn’t make you any less lovable or valuable❤ you are worth a million bucks

[@JessicaL-wf3et]

How did u remember? 😢

[@pansypox]

I am almost positive that I was SA’d as a child and just can’t remember for the life of me. Sorry that happened 💔

[@skwerlee]

sounds like he needs to anonymously report his friend to the proper authorities. If his friend is in fact that way, they'll find evidence on his computer for sure.

[@kiethmergard]

Not always. Many predators are extremely brilliant. To the point they could survive any investigation with little more than their reputation ruined. Unfortunately that’s the world we live in.

[@Grigsy]

Not how the law works.

[@KennedyIvy]

That sounds against the law.

[@stellarocquie7957]

@@Grigsy But the law DOESN'T work.

[@skwerlee]

@@KennedyIvy anonymously reporting a suspected pedophile to law enforcement is 1000% legal. They can begin an investigation but of course would have to obtain search warrants to search a computer without consent.

[@RI3773]

You are not allowed to take any pictures of kids at daycares on your personal device. You need to report it and he needs to be prohibited from going near kids.

[@leprechaun3677]

That’s not true at all

[@RI3773]

@@leprechaun3677 Yes it is, it is true in Australia. There are privacy laws about that. In my centre you are not allowed to have your personal mobile out during work. Children’s safety should be paramount, and everyone need to be able to recognise the signs that someone is a predator. A person who is taking photos of kids on his personal device is a clear red flag!

[@leprechaun3677]

@@RI3773 this is the U.S. and a lot of daycares do take pictures of children to send to their parents during the day. A lot use software to do this, but it isn’t uncommon to get text messages. Usually you end up doing a photo release form when enrolling them; but we don’t have that context here. But anyways, it might be illegal in Australia but that doesn’t apply in the U.S.

[@RI3773]

@@leprechaun3677 At our daycare centre they also take photos of the children that is sent to parents but it is through ipads that the centre owns. I would be very surprised if the US allows childcare workers to take photos of children on their personal devices such as their mobiles.

[@leprechaun3677]

⁠@@RI3773 then be surprised; because they do. You also have to think too, in the US, as long as you’re not taking inappropriate pictures, it’s 100% legal as it’s considered protected speech under the 1st amendment. Now the daycare could say it isn’t allowed and he could inadvertently get fired for it. But as long as those pictures were appropriate, it isn’t illegal. It’s likely, that if this incident was ever reported, the cops may not have even had enough evidence to get a warrant to search his phone. Edit: be careful when speaking in absolutes, you’re speaking from what you know to be true in Australia. But that doesn’t apply to every country and every jurisdiction.

[@shadrach6299]

I was talking to my husband about people touching children. My husband said that children can be seductive. I’ve never forgotten that remark. He was a sick pup

[@steviemac2681]

The problem is if you tell him he's got 10 hours to resign, he'll have time to get rid of evidence.

[@beepbopboop7727]

Don’t do this. He will just move and become more covert. You need a conviction to keep him away from children.

[@andrewjmp3494]

There are no "appropriate" reasons for a child carer to take personal pictures on their phone. That's insane!

[@Printknight528]

That’s just not true. They have field days, Easter, arts and crafts. You’re saying you’ve never seen a picture of kids in school on Facebook?

[@princeicykeybord]

@@Printknight528yes..as a group. Not with individual children.

[@jenniferl995]

​@@Printknight528the caller said he was breaking the rules by taking pictures. He's taking these pictures home for his personal use, not creating some fb album for the parents or the facility.

[@alladreamwedreamed]

He's probably photoshopping the innocent pics into dirty pics, for his gratification, or to share. It's all so gross but it's a thing.

[@aal62976]

My kid's day had an app that they posted pics of kids on. Taking pics of kids, individual or group, in an activity. But taking pics and keeping on personal phone for personal use, absolutely inappropriate

[@roadrunner9622]

The fact that he works at a day care automatically turns any yellow flags into red flags.

[@angiecats5298]

The fact that he seeked out a job at a daycare centre while having attraction to “young people” should have been a massive red flag already…..

[@Steven-hq3go]

Almost all men are attracted to youthfulness alongside sexual maturity in the opposite sex

[@rosa2098]

The fact that he’s works at a daycare is a red flag. He’s probably working up the courage to do something to the kids.

[@XxSuicidalNinjaxX]

Yes sorry but men should not work with kids ever. The percentage of reported CSA done by men is in the high 90s. It’s not all men but it is almost always a man.

[@nickvanhoesen5065]

Working at a daycare in and of itself isn’t a red flag. However working at a daycare after that original conversation is definitely a red flag

[@chilltarts]

@@nickvanhoesen5065 A man working at a daycare is always a yellow flag. A man with confessed thoughts of pedophilia working at a daycare IS a red flag. Period. That’s just the way it is. 🤷‍♀️

[@Parrotgirl-tattoo]

Or he already has. More than once even. This is creeping me out. 😮

[@Gamesnshi]

@@nickvanhoesen5065obviously thats what he meant

[@churrymurray]

Taking pictures of kids for personal files is 💯 gross and inappropriate

[@hammypie]

“He might take his life and that’s not on you.” EXACTLY, THANK YOU !!! Report him ASAP !!!

[@EvySurvived]

One can only hope. There is no cure for peds

[@mossie1954]

Incorrect...the caller will then always have that on his mind. Plus if he tells him he is calling the police, that gives the other guy time to get rid of the evidence of the pics and computer too?

[@nickevershedmusic8927]

​@@EvySurvivedno, they need extreme therapy

[@eskarina1000]

Thank you for saying that you have compassion for people with this kind of attraction and acknowledging that their existence must be pretty much constant torment. I thought I was the only person who felt that way. And just so no one comes at me, I also agree that they 100% have to be stopped from hurting any children. Too many people conflate compassion and understanding with condoning.

[@kykywilliams]

My cousins $*xually abused me as a child. Then my father did the same to me. He was abused himself as a child. I cant count how many times inc3st and seggsual as*ault has occured in my family. I'm sure theres more than i know. It doesn't excuse what he did though. They are all doing time now for what they did. I refuse to let monsters continue to prey on my family. His side of the family stopped talking to me when i reported it. Sat on his side of the trial. They can all kick rocks. My niece is now the same age I was when i was first abused. I refuse to let the cycle continue.

[@nopenope9118]

I’m so sorry that happened to you but I’m SO PROUD of you for sticking up for yourself and your younger family members. Going no-contact with family who are supporting an abuser is the smartest and healthiest decision. End the cycle!

[@rhondahagerman3]

Thank you for choosing to break the cycle of this generational curse❤

[@matthewvega3848]

I’m sorry 😞 this happened to you , your amazing for sharing well done

[@85jjp]

I’m sorry that happened to you. Your niece is lucky to have someone like you stand up and protect her.

[@Chicken_nugget-fried]

Me to

[@TourettesMajestic]

I’ll never forget when my mum out of the blue said “I shouldn’t talk ill of the dead… but there’s a reason I never left you alone with uncle X” I’m still not 100% sure what she meant, but damn is that a red flag and a half

[@liz090833]

Oh my gosh I think you know exactly what it means and that's why it's so damn creepy to think of your family like that, it's hard thinking they could have that evil side to them. I'm really glad that your mom was there to protect you I just wonder if anyone was there to protect her. 😢

[@gabrielleswann6729]

Eek! Maybe google records of any crimes done by him?

[@Wise__guy]

That’s not how you use “red flag”. Your mom is flat out calling out your uncle

[@noahdouglas702]

Abuse against children and animals is the sickest of crimes. Helpless innocent lives hurt. Evil.

[@Seanb33ee]

Sad thing is a lot of them were innocent victims once and they wouldn’t have went that way without getting messed up by someone themselves. Twisted cycle.

[@dawnofza1443]

Why must he warn him? That's the WORST advise. Just report him already. Jeeeez! 😢

[@m.n5084]

Just report him without warning and investigators can do their job. That way he doesn't delete the material. U can also stay anonymous if u want.

[@stellarocquie7957]

Law Enforcement is useless. They're probably complicit.

[@EvySurvived]

Bad Bad Bad advice. If you can collect evidence from a person whom you suspect to be a pedophile go to police. Do not tip off the offender.

[@mossie1954]

@@EvySurvived You are correct..The worse advice he could have given him.

[@nancycoonis3957]

The most important thing that the caller said was that he “broke the rules” by taking the pictures. As a school administrator you almost never actually have the definite evidence that someone is a pedophile. That is why we put in all of these “boundary” rules that employees must agree to. Once the employee breaks one of these rules, you can act immediately to get them out of the classroom and also can document it so any potential future employers know why the person was let go. Also, it allows the admin to contact the police. The fact that the school admin is not acting is horrifying.

[@alycewich4472]

They may not know...

[@The_Youtube_Winner]

as soon as he mentioned he works in the church i rolled my eyes. it’s almost cliche at this point LOL

[@kt45026]

1000%

[@jessenunez7205]

It’s sad too cause there’s good people in church, these bastards just make headlines. I don’t trust any priest or leader of the catholic religion but I never blame the followers of it. Most are innocent and halfway decent. Same with any other religion tbh

[@cameronspence4977]

Now just imagine how painful it is for the rest of us.

[@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis]

So did I. I was actually gonna comment something like “religious man working in youth ministry found to be a pedo- of course.

[@InsaneLaughter01]

At this point if I meet a man who is overtly religious (like makes it his personality) I immediately beilive he’s a pedo. There is a connection between pedos and overly religious men.

[@zebzeifc8952]

The wife analogy was absolutely perfect

[@roxannesmith4519]

In Australia we report anonymously if we see any indicators of grooming or potential abuse. You never speak to the suspected perpetrator and there is heavy fines for anyone who discloses the identity of the reporter.

[@darrenr49]

same thing in UK. although idk about the fines

[@iamgoo]

This is practical and standard everywhere including the US, not a country thing this is just common sense tbh

[@lambchop6278]

Actually didn't know that. Good to know.

[@MsHolley350]

🤔 yet multiple children in state care are systematically &constantly abused - boys molested & girls becoming pregnant by "certified" foster carers... various state departments take children from loving homes into 'care' - many without factual cause, whilst leaving truly vulnerable at risk children in the hands of abusive neglectful "guardians"...😤 These systems & their departments are not designed to save the innocent, they're about keeping govt money in govt hands

[@1faithchick7]

It's the same in the US. This was the worse advice ever. I have never heard anyone ever think it's a good idea to tell someone ahead of time they are calling the cops.

[@nonelikememe]

The caller is a damn good friend to him and a good Man. That has to be very hard to call out a pedophile. Most people protect their love ones when they are molesters.

[@Katrn30]

When I started to question that the man I knew was a predator, I got a lot of pushback. People just don’t want to believe they have been wrong about someone.

[@dewilew2137]

@@Katrn30 like Michael Jackson.

[@EarthAngelNeliana]

@@Katrn30especially because while most think of ped0s as a creepy mustached man in a white van in reality it’s teachers, camp counselors, religious leaders, other children, etc. people need to have open lines of communication with their kids and daily discussions about boundaries and relationships. Get involved in your kids activities if possible or even sometimes my mom would send myself, grandparents, or another much older sibling to supervise my sisters when at sports games or events they couldn’t attend.

[@Katrn30]

@@EarthAngelNeliana exactly! The guy I know is a teacher of kindergarten kids with special needs, a former pastor…and how awful was I to suspect him right? Turns out to be true and he admitted it all in a letter. Listen to your gut people!

[@Machoke.]

Right. I feel for his situation. You have these suspicions, but imagine accusing someone and it happened they are not a pedophile. I feel like his concerns are legit, but that’s not a light accusation at all.

[@Cheerfultoday]

I’m shaking and holding back tears while watching this. This may have happened sixty years ago. We had a much beloved family “friend “ who I also adored. He had a very cool, early camper on his pickup truck which he was happy to let us explore. As we got older, my parents would let him take one or two of my siblings and I on small little “fun” trips to go fishing or what have you, but they would be trips to outdoor places, like campgrounds. I was about 8 or 9 years old when this man took my younger brother and me to maybe a state park or similar place. He cooked us delicious hamburgers, and we had a great time, but once lunch was done he told me that he and my brother were going to have a “rest time” in the camper, but I would be staying outside the camper for that. I was so hurt and angry about being left out, but because I was a girl, I couldn’t join them. The rejection was terrible! After they came out I didn’t feel anywhere near the affection I’d felt for this “friend” previously, but we went home and that was that until, some time later, my brother told me what the “friend” had done to him, and that I couldn’t tell anyone about it, ESPECIALLY Mom and Dad, and I didn’t. This was in the mid sixties, and people didn’t talk about ANYTHING sexual to children, even about “bad touches” or anything like that. Beyond that, we only saw that man very rarely. I don’t know if my parents had found out about him, or if he knew he needed to stay away from us, or what. I do know that he had sexually assaulted my older brother in the past, plus I have a third brother, the youngest, who I don’t know if he was assaulted or not, and honestly can’t remember if I ever even asked him about it. Thank God the man on the phone call had a conscience and was working on it, and I pray that things have been resolved for the pedophile, at least as far as no longer working with or near children. It’s my understanding that they cannot be “cured” of their pedophilia, but I don’t know this for sure. He absolutely must be kept from children for the rest of his life. One other thing: although the “friend” never touched me, he absolutely victimized me. Collateral damage is still damage.

[@yeoldetort]

As a victim of sexual assault as a child IF YOU SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING!!!! DO NOT TELL THEM THEYRE BEING REPORTED! They will delete their evidence and come up with stories to explain it away HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

[@Petruskinhap972]

This is absolutely terrible advice, disgusting and scary. Even if he quits his job or stops hugging the niece in front of you , he will find another way to do it, like predators do. He will just now be more careful around you since you know what’s up. You need to contact the police immediately and PRIVATELY and not give this predator an opportunity to get rid of evidence or run. Imagine being a parent sending a young kid to this day care. Jesus.

[@DawnNa_22]

I agree. I would assume the guy told him about his proclivities because he was subliminally crying out for help. Either way, protecting kids should always be prioritized. If he’s innocent then there’s nothing to worry about anyway. But the fact that he’s taking and saving photos of other peoples children is alarming.

[@headshot21000]

@@DawnNa_22i would agree with everything you said. But one thing is untrue. If he is innocent. Its not a no big deal. Getting investigated for being a pedophile is a huge deal. And everyone around you is going to look at you with side eye. You will never have your relationships back to normal again. Might as well start a new life 😂. Forever everyone is going to think your pedo half the time

[@cozymoggele]

This is why I'm gonna be homeschooling my kids if they ever happen c': I don't trust ANYONE

[@bensheard3969]

I'm sorry but you don't really have a grasp of how these people operate and you prefer demonizing them because it feels better to you.

[@mossie1954]

@@sounds0fmeows Thank You, I too think the same way and gave the Dr a pce of my mind, it is just dreadful advice...Glad someone else saw this like yourself!

[@chelseastrmserver2813]

I disagree about giving him a heads up. This is one of those situations that you ask for forgiveness if wrong, but never permission.

[@joshuacoldwater]

Taking photos of a child is the BIGGEST 🚩 I have ever heard. I worked at a summer camp as a teenager, and I was a preschool teacher for a few years. There is NEVER a time where photographs should be taken of the children. Furthermore, he mentioned “favorite kids” this is not only odd but extremely disturbing. I hope that these “favorite” children were not harmed in any way, shape or form. It was always my job to hire a staff that would protect the children with their lives, because they understood that the children in our community are the future. This man should not be around children, ever again.

[@me-li8kd]

I remember years ago the IT Department at my job found weird (but not pornographic) pictures a guy had of children at playgrounds on a shared computer (all the grunts shared the same computer) in his profile. We knew he was a father and we just assumed guilty or not he would say he was taking pictures of his children. When management confronted him he broke down and admitted he was guilty...and that he was using the images to gratify himself.

[@kassandrad6540]

I agree 100% but there are like the rare times that photographs are ok WITH parental consent and INFORMED consent about what will be done with the photos. When I was in high school I was in a class called Childhood Growth & Development. We each had to come up with a fun project for them. I remembered when I was a kid and we made popsicle stick picture frames and decorated them with a picture of us. So I asked if we could do that and the teacher made sure to OK it with the parents. The only thing was I couldn’t post them online (duh). So I took the pics of each kid and printed them and then deleted them. It was a very careful and safe procedure and even at 17 I knew I needed to be transparent at every step. This was in 2007! Even then I knew it was a safety issue and needed to be done with respect and safety in mind. The parents loved the finished project. The kids were so cute decorating them, from ages 3 to 5, they were just so creative and messy and it was perfect!! But if I had just whipped my camera out and started taking pics… what a weird thing to do, that would be. I knew inherently without even being told, that it was something that needed to be handled in a transparent and professional way. If I found out a teacher took a picture of my daughter at random, on their personal device, for any reason without permission…. Welp, let’s just say there might’ve been two of us in jail, the teacher for pedophilia and myself for assault. Period

[@Tionois]

I get wanting to have pictures of all the kids in your care; kind of a yearbook compilation to look back on as an educator. Edit: his own siblings being suspicious around him, though, without any info... 😬🚩

[@YoureNukinFuts]

I was a preschool teacher for 4 years and I took hundreds of photos of my littles… caveat here, the pics were posted on the class dojo, a closed app for teachers and parents to communicate and keep up with events… the parents loved seeing their babies having fun, learning and growing. Of course I’m not attracted to kids and I’m not a creep but there is a place for pics of kids at school, just used for good not for sickness.

[@ouwebrood497]

Having favorite kids as a teacher is not really a red flag for me, at least not that he is into something predatory. Of course, every child should get the same attention from the teacher. But I know teachers can have some favorite kids, because they are witty, or intelligent, or very social or creative or whatever. I think having favorite kids is not OK, but it's not a red flag.

[@cassidylopez671]

I grew up extremely uncomfortable around my own father & all of my uncles on his side. Ever since I had my first child a few years ago I stopped attending family functions on that side. I won’t allow my kids to be put in those uncomfortable situations 😢

[@laurarominger2073]

Daycare should be notified immediately

[@lukeoliver1189]

What awful advice, you NEVER warn them so that they have an opportunity to delete evidence.

[@aseaofemotions]

Evidence isn't really ever deleted forever. It can all be retrieved after the fact.

[@lukeoliver1189]

@@aseaofemotions That's just simply not true.

[@damianchase4230]

@lukeoliver1189 let me clarify what I believe they’re trying to say. Police and federal agencies have access to your personal info that’s saved to cloud or internet services from cell towers, therefore with a warrant they could retrieve potentially deleted information which often others are not aware of( very common when a murder happens and someone claims they were in a place but there cellphone was in a different place) so unless extremely tech savy it’s common you can’t really get rid of your phones information. Hope this helps!

[@ZeeZed153]

@@damianchase4230 Any semi-tech literate person knows how to cover these tracks. Destroy the hard drive. A person like this probably wouldn't risk uploading it to the cloud in the first place, it's probably on a hard drive or the storage on the phone, both of which can be easily destroyed.

[@damianchase4230]

@@ZeeZed153 I’m not saying I disagree I’m just stating a long term explanation of what they could possibly mean

[@om617yota8]

The caller's friend telling the caller that he was attracted to increasingly younger people could have been a scream for help. The guy might have taken an "oh that's weird" response as tacit acceptance and approval. Had the caller said "DUDE that is NOT OK, get professional help and call your boss and tell them you quit your job around little kids right this second, or I'm calling the cops", it might have been a different story.

[@TheKristinals]

💯

[@emclaire18]

Right? Why are people so afraid to speak up?! I'm always the first to say something. If that makes me "mean" or "unaccepting", so be it. I would rather speak up and let right and wrong be known than to stay silent.

[@Lppt87]

Or maybe he was just testing the water to see if someone was a buddy.

[@nellieshoals]

I sincerely doubt that would have had the effects you envision. They were drinking, he would have laughed it off and just shoved it so far down and maybe completely fled, who knows. Super doubtful he would have gone and gotten help right then.

[@om617yota8]

@@nellieshoals Then you call the cops!

[@GetToTheFarm]

i saw documentary on this subject- many are subject to these feelings but don't act on them ever..... but they can't talk to therapists because med professionals are required to report them to the police for even having the feelings.

[@rotbot4u]

In the three years that this man has known about this, imagine how many children have been molested, so messed up that he is keeping those to himself, and terrible advice to have him talk to the friend instead of calling the police first, he will destroy evidence

[@Januarymash678]

He’s just as bad as the pedo friend

[@miss_sunshine25]

If this "friend" hasn't actually done anything YET, he's grooming the kids to get them used to the idea. He's breaking down their defenses...AND he's seeing how far he can go without being discovered. He's dangerous to everyone around him. Especially any child. AND I WOULD NEVER GIVE ANYONE A WARNING AND ALLOW THEM TO DESTROY EVIDENCE IF THERE IS ANY!!

[@angelicac.8377]

Exactly. Just like all over the country now in schools. Darn shame.

[@kiethmergard]

Dr. John gave me a new way to think about this. I always approached something like this from an innocent until proven guilty mindset. However, when it comes to kids, it’s better to be the “nosy” a-hole, rather than the guy who could prevented a kid being abused. Thanks Dr. John.

[@eiwagarciabrito495]

Sometimes that mindset harms more than not. Specially in things like this

[@ts8024]

When it comes to abuse, you cannot take a wait and see approach. By the time something overt occurs, there will be not only physical, but long lasting emotional damage to the victim(s). I do not trust my children with too many people, including other children.

[@veracityhunter7777]

This mentality hurts children and helps predators.

[@aqua6613]

@@ts8024 you're so smart in this..a lot of abuse happens between peers or children. Especially teens with smaller kids. Definitely when one child had already had sexual abuse experiences. It's so sad, but it happens too often 😢

[@semosancus5506]

Nope. Results in tyranny. Your approach will be used by tyrants to harass everyone they don't like and destroy them regardless of innocence.

[@d4and7]

Excellent truthful advice! Straight up time to act! I could write a lot here but will keep it short. Bravo to all that don't question what they already know and do what's right. We All Have To Do Our Part for all children ❤

[@EJaj1623]

This dude should not be waiting for something to happen. He needs to act, and protect any children this “friend” has access to.

[@geroldgrimel4811]

And what exactly is he supposed to do? So far as we know, the friend has done nothing wrong or illegal. You can't harm or punish someone for what they 'might' do.

[@ButtmanAtHeart]

@@geroldgrimel4811 yes you can! especially in this day and age! lol

[@geroldgrimel4811]

@@ButtmanAtHeart And that's part of why we're heading down the drain as a specie.

[@ButtmanAtHeart]

@@geroldgrimel4811 yeah i thinks its bullsh*t but what can ya do? these are the times

[@geroldgrimel4811]

@Disappointment He can report that his friend 'will' take pictures? I don't want to insult you if you genuinely have a cognitive disability.

[@GG-ub5vz]

i really feel for this guy, jim. a good friend of mine who id known for years was recently arrested on child p*rn charges. no one in our friend group knew until we found his arrest record. all of us were completely blindsided, this was a guy who had admonished pedos and talked about his hatred for child abuse. he was a guy who was a "protector", he always came to bat for his friends and was a shoulder to cry on. it really feels like the rugs been pulled from under you. its so hard to deal with the duality of who you knew and what theyve done.

[@psuedosuzen702]

Read (or listen to amazing audiobook) Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. It explains how good people who default to “truth” cannot conceptualize these evils because they are so foreign to our hearts. Good people are deceived if they don’t know to look out for the lies. FWIW ✌️🤓 Super helpful read for your situation

[@samsmusichub]

Crazy how it's oftentimes (in many different areas) the outspoken ones that turn out to be the people who are the offender.

[@thearodriguez8073]

​@@psuedosuzen702You mean cognitive dissonance and denial and it is NO EXCUSE. Adults should protect children.

[@psuedosuzen702]

⁠@@thearodriguez8073💯 Never excusable for an adult not to protect a child. Gladwell explains how we can “overlook” evil because it’s so foreign to our core to be in that mindset. The caller is not a bad person, his “friend” is a fiend

[@rosefrutos1351]

Yes exactly I’d rather lose a friendship then to have a child abused PERIOD!!!!

[@DerPijO]

I had to cut off my best friend i knew half of my life. Hes not active, but is still sick and didnt do therapy or nothing at this time. Said he never could act on this and ruin a life like that. It was hebephilia, but thats almost as bad. That was such a social shock for me, imagine your soulmate is getting that sick. But i heard nowadays hes looking for a therapy at least. And havent done anything bad. Now i have noone who really understands me fully since years. But its just the right thing to do.

[@IloveJesus777j77]

​@@DerPijOJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].

[@DerPijO]

@@IloveJesus777j77 I think im okay with Jesus. This Guy im talking about not so much.

[@angelique1795]

Thank you for what you said to this guy!! Please contact that daycare immediately! Those children need to be protected!!! Trust your instincts!!

[@haloedge2829]

That has to be the hardest thing to accept as a friend and it takes immense bravery to pull that trigger. My niece confessed to us that her dad was messing with her and we had to pull that trigger despite knowing a family was about to implode. In our case... Nothing happened. She was scared and talked out of telling the truth and then the parents took the kids and fled the state. The mother was my best friend. I was friendly with that dad. I lost my best friend. I lost my nieces. BUT I SPOKE UP. And I will always stand by that even if it cost me and nothing came out of it.

[@KateLate____]

Can you still pursue it in the next state? I don't feel like crossing state lines should be a way to escape a crime.

[@haloedge2829]

@KateLate____ we did try. Because they were taken out of state during the 2nd investigation, it was passed over to the new state, but it didn't go anywhere. As soon as the girl was in her parents' custody, she would not speak up, especially with the anti-police/CPS rhetoric her mother told her... which it's fair to be nervous about some of CPS's practices, but the mother used it as a weapon. If the girl wasn't willing to talk, there simply was no case in that state. Here, at least they had 4 other cases on their record.

[@KateLate____]

Thank you for trying so hard! Many people would stop, considering that it is not their problem. You're very kind.

[@brianressler569]

I would not find it hard. Sure they were my friend but I don't want to do nothing and have that on my conscience. Good on you for speaking up.

[@booksmartlearning]

In most cases, abuse happens with someone the child knew, so the fact that this guy's family is aware of all of these questionable behaviors and still feel hesitant in speaking out is amazing to me. He could be abusing one of his nieces or nephews already and no one has a clue? One time is all it takes to create serious trauma for a child and who knows what's going on at his daycare with children too young to speak for themselves. Being "nice" could cost someone's child a lifetime of hurt.

[@EriiikaGuerra]

That’s why I dislike people less and less. In what world would the parents not protect their children from this man? This is disgusting

[@NetiNeti-gm5bz]

People need to be real adults and speak out. So the perpetrator can also get some help before they do anything hurtful to anyone

[@leviacronym6770]

Exactly. This guy's siblings are ignorant if they think he won't molest their kids. Incest doesn't stop SAers.

[@nellieshoals]

A lifetime of hurt, possibly addiction, screwed up relationships, mental health issues, therapy, therapy bills.... Their own kids traumatized the list goes ON!!!

[@drewbaker5364]

I don't feel good about those kids at the daycare. They need to start an investigation.

[@bofasofa9399]

@Barney McGrew cringe

[@CozyMagicCrafts]

As a teenager I found a letter my ex boyfriend confessing his love to a child under 5, I confronted him about it and he told me he is attracted to kids and found “evidence” they want sexual relationships with adults i.e. Bjork saying she felt sexual feelings at 6 years old. I called the non emergency police line and they couldn’t do anything because I didn’t have any real evidence. It’s crazy that you have to be wait until a childs life has been ruined. He moved away and I still wonder if he’s abused any kids.

[@theeasternfront6436]

A friend and coworker was found out to be abusing his daughter years ago. He would take pictures of her and exchange them with others on the internet. The fact that he did this while smiling at all of our faces makes me want to vomit. He is currently doing 15 years. The caller needs to call the police the moment he gets off the phone with Dr John. Don’t let this go on for one more second.

[@jakd2962]

He’ll need to have hard evidence though, I don’t think there’s much the cops can do until there is actual evidence of him abusing the children. Having a suspicion won’t cut it. Even if the cops trust what he is saying it won’t hold up in court.

[@pompeythegreat297]

A lot of it happens with family, because they feel comfortable. You can't go to a bar, and find a kid.... It's unfortunate.

[@DrDeuteron]

For real daughter?

[@archivedaccount2000]

only 15???

[@raeannslife]

I dated a guy who was super touchy and just weird with kids and it would make me feel weird how he interacted with them but EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY. Soo happy to know people actually feel that way

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

But you can't go making accusations on gut feelings. How would you feel if somebody accused you being a pedo? And you knew deep down in your heart that you weren't. Would you charge that person with slander?

[@lemon1657]

​@@romans52345-cy3tqYou're an apologist and clearly didn't listen to the video's conclusion: I'm sorry if I'm wrong but protecting kids must be top priority. Anyway, she can't make any accusations to the police on a gut feeling, but she can trust her instincts and dump the guy and keep her kids safe! End of

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

@@lemon1657 I personally have had suspicions about a lot of people in that regard, But You just don't accuse them of something that serious without any evidence whatsoever. I mean that's a very very serious accusation unless you have 100% concrete proof you can't just go making allegations based on your gut and hunches, because in the case if they are innocent you could destroy their reputation beyond repair and If they don't file criminal accusations of slander against you They could sue you for everything you're worth. You see the act happen, then yes you report it right away and whatever happens afterwards happens afterwards.

[@lemon1657]

@@romans52345-cy3tq Read my comment again. All I said was dump them and protect your kids. Public Accusations are another topic you seem to be stuck on. Also, I'd rather hurt someone's "reputation" (snort) than destroy my kids for life. People's poor hurt feelings just have to come second if you give a damn about kids and understand how destructive this form of abuse is. Good luck to you.

[@Username0467]

You thought he was weird and still dated him? Girl what.

[@dorkygirlsurvivalist3482]

He didn’t get counseling because he would have been reported due to mandatory reporting requirements. We are going to need a follow up on this one.

[@rebeccaholloway7296]

The siblings of the man who continue to let him around their children even thought their guts are telling them that something is OFF are absolutely vile. I'll never understand parents like this.