Well There's Your Problem | Episode 147: SS Princess Alice Sinking

Poop... poop everywhere... the horror...
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[@oscodains]

Alice will be missed RIP. She was the north star of the podcast, the only professional keeping it together.

[@kimmatzen6504]

God save Her and all who sail in Her.

[@JonY-zm5pd]

Died the way she lived, full of seamen

[@goodluck5642]

@@JonY-zm5pdcovered in them too

[@lMrWongl]

at the end of the day she wasn't rigid enough herself....

[@GoredonTheDestroyer]

@@lMrWongl Alternatively, could be interpreted as being _too_ rigid. Ships, much like bridges, have to be flexible enough to withstand wind and wave alike, but must also be rigid enough to not fold in on themselves.

[@Frommerman]

Nobody on the Oceangate Titan drowned. They stopped being biology and started being physics faster than the biology could drown them.

[@WaterMan416]

Just straight skipped chemistry, but we all know that it's basically a branch of applied physics.

[@AsbestosMuffins]

rendered into a soup-like homogenate at the speed of sound

[@iamjustkiwi]

​@@AsbestosMuffinsy'know if I have to die unexpectedly it's probably one of the most painless ways to go out since I believe that's about as fast as your nerves even respond. You still won't catch me in a dang ol homemade sub though so I guess it's moot.

[@KazyEXE]

You can't say that water didn't enter their lungs

[@WaterMan416]

@@KazyEXE happened way too fast for that. Their lungs entered the water.

[@realcanadian96]

Benefits: Alice is now a princess Downsides: Alice has sunk.

[@falloutghoul1]

Monarchy drowns us all.

[@The5lacker]

Listen, she's had some spicy takes, but I don't know if I'd call Alice a *disaster.*

[@grizzly3793]

The Alice Incident.

[@paleposter]

Alice'd too close to the sun

[@nitehawk86]

Though this is the podcast about engineering disasters... that is a disaster :)

[@kstxevolution9642]

re 19:35 : The fan died both from dehydration and alleged medical malpractice. Water was only sold inside the event (at a huge price, as is tradition), so you couldnt bring your own water bottle in. The girl was dehydrated beyond belief when she was brought to the medical tent. She panicked and one of the medical staff on the tent allegedly gave her diazepam to calm her, which lowered her blood pressure even lower. This all happened during the concert. The next days concert was cancelled after people waited in the heat for a whole day. Source: your brazillian correspondant.

[@rexcorvorum4262]

Love the timing that meant Henry Kissinger lived just long enough to miss this episode’s God Damn News

[@benjaminbittle8192]

should be in the next one inshalla

[@hpalpha7323]

Tragic we didn't get to hear Justin's epic Joker laugh for that one

[@lyndonwesthaven6623]

Honestly do not know which host's response I'm looking forward to most

[@TemplarOnHigh]

@@lyndonwesthaven6623 Liam. No question.

[@jijonbreaker]

@@TemplarOnHigh Liam is by far the best when it comes to just, raw, visceral contempt.

[@shootingstar123524]

SS Princess Alice: Your new horror story from the AI trained exclusively on Alice's twitter account

[@xmlthegreat]

Aww I wanted to make this joke😢

[@BiggestCorvid]

Great upload as always. Keep them coming. Keep up the good fight!

[@BiggestCorvid]

Commented on the wrong thread but I'll just leave a second comment

[@AsbestosMuffins]

topical given this week's TF podcast about the company making an AI duplicate of people and then torturing it for ad marketing

[@katiegraceporter]

I believe that's actually the ISS Princess Alice

[@markwilliams2620]

Checklist to get this plane flying.. "This is your Captain Milkshake, I'll be tapping random buttons and sleeping on your head. Enjoy your flight!".

[@readmorebooksidiots]

Give Milkshake a soundboard so we can get random kitty drops

[@unistrut]

My friend's dad made his own diving helmet, but when he sourced the air compressor he didn't mention that it was for breathing air, so he wound up inhaling aerosolized oil droplets and getting lipid pneumonia. Thankfully the family's doctor had worked with old hardhat divers and recognized it.

[@trashrabbit69]

So sorry to hear Alice lost her no doubt incredibly rigid steamship. I nominate the SS United States as the next Patreon-Paid Podcast Party Pontoon Platform

[@nathaniellindner313]

We’ll need Liam to stop by and go over it with the sander once or twice first

[@briannem.6787]

Consider it a learning experience! The next one will be even MORE rigid.

[@TheJesus_Christ]

Don't let Alice's sudden and perilous on stream passing distract you from the fact that Reinhold Messner is Italian

[@charlesparr1611]

SWISS!!!!1!!

[@MrJohndoakes]

@@charlesparr1611 Name is Germanish enough, could be Austrian.

[@elaforma]

@@MrJohndoakes From South Tyrol, actually, so basically Austrian

[@World_Wide_Web_Wyyzrd]

Sounds pretty greasy to me.

[@Bobbias]

@@elaforma so he's a german pretending to be italian? or was that the other way around? /s

[@defeatstatistics7413]

Alice is a princess, glad we agree

[@terruwuism]

Absolutely true

[@justinokraski3796]

Royalists *spits*

[@emilynelson5985]

a sleepy princess but a princess nonetheless.

[@OutbackCatgirl]

i would like this but it is at 69 and i don't wanna ruin it

[@thomasgiles2876]

"I am in a world of shit" - Private Caldwell-Kelly

[@whosaidsoup13]

Liam being infected by the Taylor Swift brain parasite was not on my 2023 bingo card but it does make sense in a way I can't explain

[@murciadoxial8056]

you must be new

[@MrTaxiRob]

Liam wants $1,000,000 per show too

[@joeneedstosleep]

Her music is legitimately good but almost everything about her fandom is horrifying

[@MrTaxiRob]

After yesterday's game I think she might be writing a song about Travis Kelce@@joeneedstosleep

[@willmills-cz4er]

The Princess Alice may have been built to carry 964 people, but this Alice easily carries 2 on this podcast 😂

[@stiltpuppy]

Alice saying "Reinhold Messner is from Swaziland" is a layered joke given that Swaziland is not called that anymore.

[@Sushi227]

Reinhold Messner is actually Siamese.

[@Frommerman]

@Sushi227 Reinhold Messner is Palestinian.

[@litkeys3497]

​@@FrommermanReinhold Messner je Srbija

[@jaimeondrusek5429]

Fun fact: actor Richard E. Grant actually _is_ from Swaziland.

[@garymccammon6696]

Alice is so great with the comments; she's intelligent, well-read, and I worry because I sometimes pause the podcast and make a comment to myself and when I restart it there's Alice saying exactly what I was thinking.

[@jimmeearle]

I could not get reliable figures, but the population proportion rate of 9/11 was 0.00017 compared to the 2001 population of NYC. The princess Alice sinking has a rate of 0.00012 to 0.00017 (using the high estimate of deaths, and with the greater London population maybe being between 4-6 million, I couldn’t get good data). So this disaster is either 1 9/11 disaster unit, or about 0.69 9/11s

[@dayoldbaguettes]

nice.

[@pjlusk7774]

0.nice

[@vooptr]

An hero of mathematics.

[@andrewcassidy1790]

But how many JFK assassinations is it

[@BiggestCorvid]

I'm so happy to come to the comments and find the math done with the same methodology. Even if it turns out to be inaccurate, it's probably the same answer i would have reached.

[@GigasGMX]

Gotta say, naming a ship the Princess Alice Sinking is just asking for trouble!

[@sampagano205]

Kissingers desth dropping on fhe same day as this episode is a great combo.

[@tenkiforecast]

As someone who lived in Michigan for 10 years, how dare you say a boat disaster was worse than the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Michigan has very little relevance in pop culture, don't take that away from the state.

[@zachmiller9175]

The ss Edmund Fitzgerald was registered in Milwaukee, named after a guy from Milwaukee, and sunk in Canadian waters during a trip that originated in superior Wisconsin...

[@michaelslowmin]

We got relevance! We got Iggy Pop, Eminem, and ICP!

[@SlimbTheSlime]

I meannnn, Michigan DOES have that one black dude who unplugged someone’s life support.

[@joshplaysdrums2143]

​@@michaelslowminMichigan producing the most quirked up white boys

[@derrickfoster644]

Except most people who thinks of the Edmund Fitzgerald generally associates it with the song "the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" written and sung by a Canadian, Gordon Lightfoot, RIP.

[@nicholascuk8203]

The spirit of the Princess Alice lives on in every rusted out Altima brake checking a semi.

[@richardgadberry8398]

"Reinhold Messner is Swiss now. Eat shit."--Alice Caldwell-Kelly, to a joint session of Congress, 2023.

[@charleslecki3609]

But the SS Princess November is still going strong

[@LotharTheFellhanded]

Man this kid in the Safety Third. It’s the problem of having a kid whose too smart and too unsupervised. Nico is the poster child for “knowing just enough to be dangerous”.

[@Nick_J_]

Dumbest smart kid thing I’ve ever heard of since the “nuclear boy scout”

[@faggykrueger]

This is literally every rural homeschooled kid I’ve ever known. I did shit like this, but with chemistry. I made a ton of NAK and burned a huge patch of my parent’s backyard away.

[@jesusestrada5543]

Just like that one kid who built a nuclear reactor in his mom's shed out of smoke detector parts.

[@tungsten_talons]

It's so fucking dumb and dangerous. And I also know for a fact that's the kind of crazy redneck engineering shit I'd do when I got bored living in the sticks myself.

[@garymccammon6696]

I just barely made my saving roll not to be this kid when I was younger.

[@TurquoizeGoldscraper]

14:00 - "What's the horrible violent football club?" That doesn't narrow it down at all.

[@thomasdjonesn]

She could have named any of them and I would have nodded my head sagely as if I knew what they were discussing. Of course they're violent, yes indeed. West Ham? Man City? The Rangers? Sure, sure.

[@hughcrosthwait5497]

In the context I immediately thought of Beitar Jerusalem

[@TalesOfWar]

"The Princess Alice Disaster, or how I was known the first year I came out" had me literally laugh out loud. Well played, Alice. You have such an amazing way with words haha.

[@BiggestCorvid]

Timestamps since there aren't chapters yet: 5:38 - The GD News pt. I 18:30 - The GD News pt. II 27:48 - Main Story 1:47:25 - Safety Third 2:02:02 - Plugs

[@Mickulty]

I heartily endorse these because I dunno if/when I'll get my usual full timestamps done

[@eineisbarauftaiwan8137]

Reinhold Messner is a fairytale Yetis use to make their kids behave.

[@cholulahotsauce6166]

Reinhold Messner is just your dad in a costume.

[@Cleanmybass]

Reinhold Messner is just a plot by BIG Ben Fold Five to try to get you to join the army.

[@LeafseasonMagbag]

*HENRY KISSENGER IS DEAD*

[@jaysea5939]

Should've built her more rigid! (Thank you whoever has been putting captions/subtitles and chapters on the older episodes)

[@hobsonster]

Alice would have loved hearing about how Italian Reinhold Messer was

[@scolek22]

The unwashable slime reminds me of the mount erebus disaster (you should cover that one, its a plane crash but its not just any plane crash because they smacked into the broadside of an antarctic volcano) where the bodies apparently had some kind of airplane+human grease all over them that made the recovery efforts more difficult because they were slippery.

[@fauxpinkytoo]

The human grease came from passengers charred in the post-crash fire. There was a documentary about the recovery that detailed the miserable conditions faced by the recovery crew. These guys forever have my respect.

[@mikeymikey4186]

Devon, I'm so fucking glad you share the love of Linen clothing, really validates my nonbinary ass

[@FerretKibble]

Linen is the superior fabric tbh

[@jaysea5939]

Linen's the best

[@ThePopopotatoes]

Submissive and breedable? Nah I prefer sturdy and breathable This post brought to you by the linen lovers gang

[@platedlizard]

linen just gets more comfortable with wear too

[@lyndonwesthaven6623]

Best way to look stylishly rumpled in the summer. Unless there's a sudden rain shower and then it's about as concealing as three layers of plastic wrap

[@global-sequence]

Devon conspicuously silent when asked about their family in the 19th century. I choose to believe their great great great grandpa survived the wreck and never got wet.

[@Frommerman]

Who's this male Devon you're referring to?

[@global-sequence]

@@Frommerman big oof on my part. Edited to refer to the correct Devon.

[@loadeddice4696]

I first learned about this at the Museum of London Docklands, which is an excellent museum about London's history as a port city and has like an entire floor about "WE'RE SORRY FOR THE SLAVE TRADE ALRIGHT? IT WAS A BAD MOVE", which I appreciate

[@mcamp9445]

At least they ended it

[@loadeddice4696]

@@mcamp9445 "We stopped doing the horrible thing we were doing" is good, but it's better to just not do the horrible thing in the first place so let's not give them too much credit.

[@njorlpinipini]

🦀🦀🦀KISSINGER IS GONE🦀🦀🦀

[@vincentSD1]

Glad to see we get an episode all about Alice

[@Jenkstudio97]

They cover a single plane crashing episode and I decide to never fly again, but if they cover boats sinking I'm always like wow I really want to go on a cruise

[@rogerledgister7913]

RIP that guy's great grandchild who decides to build her own Fallout diving helmet out of Oriented Strand board.

[@ubermenschen01]

Its plywood, not OSB. Approximately 50% less petroleum than OSB.

[@05Matz]

I thought the point was that the materials used by successive generations of would-be divers were getting increasingly strange and cumbersome for the purpose. @@ubermenschen01 I was going to say '3D printed', myself.

[@platedlizard]

the real disaster is that Alice is only a Princess. clearly she should be a Queen 👸🏻

[@artistwithouttalent]

Proof that God either hates or loves this pod that it dropped just a few hours before Kissinger finally fucked off the mortal coil.

[@tg4414]

Very cool to name a boat after the host of this podcast

[@teecee1827]

Jesus that diving helmet guy is so lucky to even be alive...

[@GaldirEonai]

So a certain piece of news just dropped today and I can't wait to hear the next ep's Goddamn News. There better be champagne corks popping and a musical number.

[@jeffstaples347]

aww Devon and Alice were hanging out! its good to know ya'll aren't lonely over the pond.

[@reidfann]

The woman who died in Brasil was found to have done so from heat illness and medical malpractice. They had no access to free water in the stadium and did not allow outside food or drink. When she went to the medical center, she was already suffering from severe dehydration,low blood pressure, and heat exhaustion. She was allegedly very agitated and they gave her diazepam, which probably caused her BP to plummet fatally.

[@Ometecuhtli]

They gave her diazepam? Who was working the medical facility, the riveters?

[@FPoP1911]

WE OUTLIVED KISSINGER!

[@FieryRedmond]

Can't believe Alice had a disaster named after her

[@jarlbreadmaker]

Alice is so valid for not shutting up to Devon about the South African Sams.

[@alicecaldwell-kelly9530]

Mark. Do you know, where we’re from

[@jacobfrazier9582]

They piss on the little boy Mark

[@Caparo479]

Its not a walk in the park, mark

[@dappercyborg7697]

Sorry that I have to correct you Alice but Taylor swift is Italian and reinhold messner is a lesbian

[@fauxpinkytoo]

Thank you for dropping this one on my only day off this week! Hey guys, after 6 months of unemployment, I finally got a fucking job!!

[@havanaradio]

Steal everything you can, don't work more than you have to.

[@Squidcast]

Holy shit the guy in the Safety Third is a friend of mine from high school. I never heard about the diving bell adventure until he tweeted about it a few months back, but trust me when I say that this was 100% on-brand for him. Hearing the full story now, Jesus Christ how horrifying. I'm glad you survived that adventure, Niko.

[@VinceWhitacre]

So, how many sailors went down on Alice sorry I'll show myself out

[@grmpEqweer]

Alice is a lucky woman.

[@henriquepacheco7473]

A very large amount of seamen

[@MrJimheeren]

Did you just miss a perfect opportunity for a seamen joke. Shame on you

[@grmpEqweer]

@@MrJimheeren More seamen than a boat-kake party.

[@agripinaa8684]

I want to know what Devon’s “soulful dad music” playlist looks like

[@maxwellkazemba2299]

What you won't do for love and what a fool believes are both on there

[@gramathy999]

White Wine in the Sun (Tim minchin) and Still Fighting It (ben folds)

[@jamesholland6101]

KISSINGER DOWN!

[@lexp6099]

The little hats! MILKSHAKE! Thanks, Devon! Also, completely agree on weather: I'll take hot over cold any day.

[@capsjukebox]

We commend this episode’s body to the waves as we will all be one day, all genders; flotsam and jetsam

[@WaterMan416]

The two genders, flotsam and jetsam

[@Rankerquat]

I can't believe Nico of the velvet underground nearly died with that homemade diving helmet :o

[@joeshmuck9683]

Been jonesing for my hit. Glad it's arrived Would love to see an episode on the Minneapolis Metrodome and its collapse. But really that thing's entire existence was an engineering disaster

[@defeatstatistics7413]

The Vikings are an engineering disaster

[@ebnertra0004]

The Dome was a mess, but it was our mess

[@Stephanie-we5ep]

The miracle is that it lasted as long as it did.

[@michaelpineiro533]

One country called Margaritaville One language called Comic Sans

[@ebolapie]

I like that some kind SponsorBlock user marked the entire God Damn News as "filler." Thanks mate, you're really doing everyone a solid by marking out an entire established segment of the show.

[@youtubehandlesux]

Speaking of sponsorblock, I was the person who added highlight for the bob-omb in the plowshare episode. No need to thank me.

[@Dinictus]

Gotta love how you can't even remove/update this addition. Like, the hell, The Goddamned News is a staple of Well There's Your Problem.

[@Alex-es5xd]

Henry Kissinger is dead and the first thing I thought of was the god damn news.

[@externalgills6886]

I did not expect the inevitable anime adeptation of wtyp to feature Alice as a shipgirl.

[@willmills-cz4er]

I would love her as a snarky cameo in Azur Lane. I’d actually watch that

[@TemplarOnHigh]

0:00 SS Activate Windows sinking when? 0:48 It's your own fault, sorry. 1:45 Introduction 5:45 News 22:05 Taylor Swift WTYP when? 27:38 Fake London 31:40 Roz describes what we all learned from the first part of Heart of Darkness 38:32 One Big Collective Flush 44:06 This is a city park, sorry we still 100% do this. 55:03 WTYP is shallow and pedantic 58:08 Alice translates "Dawneeoshunhon" to Scottish 1:16:15 Henry Kissinger is dead (not related to the pod yet, I just found out.) 1:16:16 To Repeat: Kissinger has died. 1:17:25 Roz invokes the date and time, thus beginning to recount the killing of perhaps 0.02% of HK's total. 1:22:24 NGL, that's pretty good resolution for a camera phone of the Victorian era 1:28:45 Yuck 1:32:45 Gotta drag those corpses to shore. If you lift them into the boat they will just fall apart. 1:34:50 (650 / 35M) / (2,977 / 285M) = 1.77 9/11's /E more as I have time.😂

[@chinoETS]

disproof of god is that kissinger lived twice as long as my dad. good fucking riddance

[@JovanDacic]

Thank you for your timestamping service 🎖

[@lewisshaw6071]

Counterweights for this episode's Safety Third segment were charitably provided by the Deactivate Windows Logo

[@PedroBentoIT]

On the Taylor swift note: There MUST be a clause in her contract that states the venue has to garantee safe conditions and I'm amazed they didn't use that Also not sure about Brazilian labour laws but in Portugal if your worksite is over 40c they legally can't make you work so if there's a similar law the crew should have just walked out

[@Frommerman]

Bold of you to assume colonized nations recently controlled by actual fascist clowns have reasonable labor laws, or if they do that they are spending the resources to enforce them.

[@GamingArchitects]

RIPiss Kissinger, hit 100 instead of betty white.

[@bluerex0521]

Did the math, taking the number lost divided by total population at the time shows the wreck of the Princess Alice was equal to 2 9/11's at 2.06^e-5 to 1.05^e-5 respectively

[@AbsolXGuardian]

From this and the other guys comment saying Princess Alice is 0.69 to 1 9/11s, I learned that 19th century London was more densely populated than turn of the millennium New York City

[@cpt_nordbart]

Usually shipwrecks get measured in Titanic's not 9/11's

[@AnInnocuousBlueCube]

It's about .46 of a Titanic.

[@dougbuchanan784]

Stuck in my house with some sort of terrible sickness and this has cured my soul

[@elliottlupin]

Same, I've been struck with the dying disease known as the common cold, I'm very glad to have another episode

[@boydsinclair4166]

Unexpected outcome #2 Didn’t realise a British officer would be carrying Winston Churchills poop through Russia 🥸🫣😐

[@jadebullet3884]

And once again, they release/record the episode just a day or two too soon. Rest in Piss Kissinger

[@Feasco]

there's some good god damn news coming next week

[@nonplaced]

YAY ALICE

[@nonplaced]

AND LIAM

[@nonplaced]

AND ROCZ

[@AllenSJ5]

AND DEVON

[@robk7266]

Well, I'm glad Alice can swim, otherwise she wouldn't be on the podcast anymore

[@josephd.5524]

Ya'll gotta invite Hyce over to talk about the Poop Train incident. It's about trains and plumbing and how sometimes they break.

[@callsignapollo_]

I dont know if id call that an engineering disaster worthy of a whole episode, but it would be interesting to see hyce's "no politics just vibes" channel stance against the aggressively ancom nature of the podcast lmao

[@gostchiken]

That Saftey Third was the most MacGyver-ass thing I've ever heard.

[@RyanTennant]

Pretty rude to sink Alice TBH

[@thecocktailguys9608]

Fiiiiiinally. Been in withdrawals for so long

[@toastpoint]

My day is improved and my joy imessurable

[@isengrom6883]

Rumor has it WTYP killed Henry Kissinger

[@thomasdjonesn]

They gave him a very nice time.

[@GodzThirdLeg]

Really sad to see that Devon is a shill for Big Summer.

[@deeznoots6241]

Cancelling Devon for being pro global-warming

[@citadelpariah]

"We have sandy beaches." Avi: "Well who the fuck wants to see 'em?"

[@nr8073]

An extremely "Dudes Rock" Safety Third.

[@paein9642]

Actually Reinhold Messner is South Tyrolese, which while apart of Italy, is Autonomous and more closely linked culturally with Austria.

[@unistrut]

I was wondering how an Italian guy wound up named "Reinhold".

[@annafdd]

There is a lot of stuff to unpack here, but it is my understanding that Messner is not what you would call an ethnonationalist.

[@elorani1714]

Can we make it a thing again where doctors prescribe 'vacation' as a legit treatment? I would love to be told to spend a weekend promenading along the shore for completely medical reasons and have my insurance have to pay for it.

[@douglasdoesstuff]

BABE WAKE UP NEW WTYP AND KISSINGER DIED

[@chrisdegraaff1418]

You can always put on more layers. You can only remove so many layers before the cops get involved.

[@FerretKibble]

Reinhold Messner is Tasmanian.

[@chrisball3778]

There weren't any bear pits in or around London by the 1870's. They were banned by the Cruelty to Animals act of 1835. In typically English fashion we banned poor people from torturing bears, but carried on sending poor people convicted of theft to Australia in typhus-ridden hulks until 1868 and letting rich people carry on torturing foxes for fun up until 2002.

[@FloorKandee]

I hope they were recording the next episode when Henny Kissy died

[@DelightingalePlays]

That diving helmet story is the most Michigan-Ass teenage shenanigan story I have ever heard

[@relwalretep]

Reinhold Messner is currently Manx.

[@scarylion1roar]

I read The Five by Hallie Rubenhold off of Alice's recommendation in a previous episode and that's how I initially learned about the Princess Alice disaster

[@ThatVashu]

I will listen to this tomorrow but telling about it because of engagement. Looking forward to it!

[@SnausageKing]

Man I hope you were recording when the news about Kissinger hit

[@trunkage]

It is good to know that after this disaster, the SS Alice reincarnated into a podcaster

[@JrgPt96]

I don't know about protests at Elbit in the US, but I know the local leftie org I'm a part of in the Netherlands (ROOD) has also participated in a blockade of Elbit Systems, housed on a military base in Woensdrecht.

[@TheRandomAustralian]

Missed out on talking about Kissinger finally popping his clogs by ~8 hours.

[@thisislesbomaya]

This episode killed Kissinger

[@Ometecuhtli]

Fittingly as it appears he felt into a vat of poo: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d4bCcp5pqZZrjsU

[@Frommerman]

"This podcast kills war criminals."

[@dirkdieters5773]

IDF: Illinois Dacite Federated

[@joshuasutherland6692]

Shipping granulated, powedered, and block dacite all over the Rock River Valley since 1957!

[@megmca]

I really appreciate the header of what date the poscast was recorded during The God Damn News. Please keep that. I love it.