THE ICE-COLD INFJ

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today, we're talking about the ice-cold INFJ, and this isn't at all about being selfish. This is however all about focusing on ourselves. It's about not caring if others are going through something if we're not actively doing anything to help them anyway, right? It's important to understand how many of our thoughts are actually focused on worrying. What other people are experiencing worrying about, how a situation is going to turn out, and thinking about things just causes anxiety. All of this is keeping us from staying in our INFJ Epic life state. That is the state we wanna be in. That is the state where we actually create a life that is more and more in alignment with what we want. And it's not just about how it's going to look on the outside. It's about how you experience it. It's about time that you wake up in the morning, Can't wait to take on the day and feel like life is rushing through you. It all starts with the topic we're discussing today.
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[@Wenzes]

What has your experience have been with detaching from other people's emotions?

[@Judah.7.7.7]

Almost impossible. It’s a gift and curse. On one hand I feel that I can help people because I can feel their soul on the other hand in order for me to detach, I have to leave their energy space.

[@Wenzes]

I know that feeling. I have learned though with practice we can navigate it much bettet 👍

[@Student-z6u]

I felt like i can understand people 's emotions in a deeper level and I have been trying to help them as much as I can.It was only later I realised that I am not aware about my own feelings or why do i feel in a certain way. Then I started writing an emotional journal and it was the best decision ever. Thank you so much ,for this video...

[@t.c9537]

@@Student-z6u Do you know why they're feeling the way they do or do you understand the feeling? Just curious 😬

[@Student-z6u]

@@t.c9537 both...journaling really helps.

[@KaySade321]

As a kid I used to wipe down the tables at restaurants after my mom and I finished eating because I got worried about the workers having to clean up after us (even though my mom always said “the workers will clean the table that’s not your job”). Now thinking about it, doing that might have been counterproductive because what if no one came to actually sanitize the table BECAUSE I made it look like it was already clean. Now understanding that and will (try to) roll that mindset into other parts of life.

[@Wenzes]

😉 great metaphor 👍

[@bryonscheffel7780]

I don’t wipe down the table but I try to organize it so the staff can clean it as quickly and easily as possible. I never want my presence to make someone else’s life more difficult. If I can do a small thing to help another person’s job/day a bit easier I always will.

[@scarmich214]

If you stack your dishes and the dishes of everyone at the table neatly for the bus boy I have noticed that they are aware of the need for the table. Leaving a small area you missed helps too! Ok... I think maybe I am seeing your point....

[@jaifyre702]

I had to learn that too. I was in shock. Even when it comes down to organizing the dishes. They have a certain way they want so they feel comfortable in carrying it. I had to key a lot of stuff go. And it feels good lol

[@sayusayme7729]

Actually used to happen, truly counterproductive, including the pun 🤣

[@admygalaxy3]

When I was in college my friends and I went to see final destination in theaters. Leaving the theater I was saying, wow can you imagine if you were in a near death experience and then watched this movie how scared that would make you feel. All my friends looked at me like I grew an extra head and asked if I had been in a situation like that. I was so confused at their reaction. Up into that moment I didn't fully realize that most people don't actually put themselves in other people's experiences or emotions normally. I just wrote it off as me being a writer and heavy reader used to getting into the emotions of characters. I just thought I was weird.

[@Energyturtle09]

Infjs having to work extra hard because others don't do it.

[@ryanquick1824]

INTJ here... my advice IS to understand that ATTENDING TO EMOTIONS IS A CHOICE. sure, you may be able to evoke some sort of emotion in others BUT; whether they choose to recognize it/acknowledge it/attend to it or not - that, THAT IS ON THEM. EXTRAORDINARILY FEW people are as concerned with emotions as much as you SWEET INFJs ARE. so, DONT WORRY ABOUT IT THAT MUCH. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) YOU DO YOU. (let them do themselves.)

[@lightinthedark9201]

Thank you.It helps a lot in not feeling guilty.

[@sayusayme7729]

Lifelong struggle

[@EmmaCooksYouTubeChannel]

I'm an INFJ with an INTJ partner and his perspective on these thing's is helpful. He's also learnt a lot from me.

[@mr.goodwrench8273]

What has my experience been with detaching from other people's emotions ? I actually want people to learn from their experiences instead of leaning on me or others so much and not learn anything about what to do when hardships come about. These people know what they've gotta do, they just want someone else to do it for them and/or pay for it. Not me. If I can do it, so can they.

[@FantogemeStudios]

In my journey, I've basically become a zen buddhist.. well, in name only. To me, it's about balance and boundaries. I used to be really involved with my friends back in the day, and over time I kind of learned that everyone has the right to live their lives and make of it what they will.. (as well as me) .. even knowing that all the pitfalls and traps I saw laid out before them, it is not my decision to make. And that's kind of stance I take these days. I don't really have any attachments because in a spiritual sense we're always attached, we just focus our energy elsewhere.. at our tasks, our life goals and etc. Nothing is truly lost, pain is transitional. I don't over compensate, I still care about what I care about.. but being we have the ability to read the future so to speak.. it makes the times we share even with complete randos on the street more precious. Because one day everything will be gone. So do not take the adventure for granted.

[@Sdaznc]

It’s like you copied this from my own journal. Thank you sharing, just a few months ago I started looking into Zen Buddhism and really resonating with it.

[@stellar2percent]

Perspectives and harmony…..😉

[@PenelopePitstop0078]

Three years ago you produced this gem, yet it’s still relevant today. I chose to eliminate the news and any “cold case/murder mystery/criminals/ravaged dope fiend” media from my life about 4 years ago. Too dark, too upsetting and too disruptive to my mental peace.

[@terrymaynard1816]

I am getting better at this, and watching this vid helps to orient myself. That is helpful. Over the last few months, I have gotten better at identifying when I am being driven by my emotions and then recognising that the emotional state I have got myself into was generated in my thoughts. That was a revelation. My emotional state in those moments is not based on being present or in reality, but rather, fabricated in my mind, which triggers the body to activate the fight, flight or flee response, and whatever else it does. Ahhh. That gives me the freedom to take stock of the present, make a correct assessment, and orient myself in the present. That works great for me. It is far more productive towards making a better life for myself generally. (: Thanks, Wenzes, for your focus on INFJ stuff. Your content is spot on. I don't even bother listening to other INFJ content anymore. Thanks so much.

[@lindateuling7862]

I thoroughly appreciated this video, but I especially liked the way you handled it at the end when you laid out a workable plan on how to deal with the emotions: (1) accepting them (2) naming them, (3) acknowledging that they're real and present and (4) resolving that we will handle them because we're strong. I also appreciated when you said that we are "not our emotions," reminding us that we experience them but they aren't us.

[@Wenzes]

😉👍

[@federicosandoval3360]

Eres linda!- I don't understand why some people want us to feel their pain, not just empathize. They are like wounded animals. I need to stay in the INJF flow otherwise I just deal with survival and that is not my epic life for sure.

[@Wenzes]

👍👍

[@brianhales1416]

When I realized I was able to absorb emotions of a room, it explained previous confusions and it also freaked me out as I were 16 or so at the at the time. I was at a party whereas shouldn't been but then I was being troubled by anyone as being overlooked. Still I felt nauseated as others conversations were troubling and so I went to the bathroom and the feeling was gone. I was thinking how odd is when I felt it again stepping back into the room. After that, I was more aware of what it was and yet still surprised by this is and considered as esp 6th sense. I've mentioned a few times, it didn't go so well and from there on out kept it to myself. Also I've always had uncanny luck or at least what I've referred as gut instincts. It's helped me out of some hairy situations as I understand hadn't been for my uncanny luck, I wouldn't be here today. Few people I've hung with liked that I was able to read a room and considered me as insurance for having their backs. They were outgoing and this is an understatement. I was as I am quiet and reserved. Completely opposite. Always found it odd of how at times I can be just as outgoing and then nothing 🤔now it makes sense. It was a mystery to me as well as others. They couldn't understand why I was either hot or cold nor could I which kept most from at a distance. Someone once mentioned to me that the reasons for this is they've found me to be unpredictable, hard to read. I was somewhat sad by this as it weren't my intention. And as years went on I've come to terms with being who I am as take me however you think or feel as you naturally will however doesn't prevent me from moving forward.

[@brianhales1416]

Forgive some of the context for unnecessary use of words and words that were meant not as they are in the start of aforementioned response.

[@melissajadetarot5401]

You are Clairesentient

[@HereIAm247]

I can also feel people energy/emotions/prescence; It can be very overwhelming, and since I find it hard to trust others (with good reason, due to several people I met in the past), I tend to shut down, and pull away. I feel as if I have to push away my natural vibration, in order to stay 'safe'. Still trying to figure out exactly what it is, and how to deal with it...

[@jeannaroman9053]

I've been feeling myself lately trying to make myself do this. Because I refuse for someone to hold me back from my destiny and me worry about them when they DNT me is insane so it's cool coming across this video lol

[@sarahsano7471]

I completely agree with you, I used to feel bad sometimes when my mom and dad disagree on something and up feeling hurt and I would hear them both and choose not to feel anything, I would hate myself by thinking I am cruel and cold hearted even tough when I do choose to feel them I would become in a worse state then them, they would forget about it and move on and I am still suffering hhhh. Thank you for clarifying the situation now I would happily choose to be cold

[@laju6846]

Do you ever thought of infjs being good at braimstorming? Because everytime i do it I quite like it

[@gomolemokau3562]

Wow me too 😃

[@professorcoco4838]

yesss

[@wisteria1739]

Same

[@asibangoura8067]

Sure, best learning scenarios

[@samanthamakhafola3014]

It's our thing

[@richardprince3363]

What about when it comes to your kids. I'm balls deep in a text book parental alienation situation. Hands down the most painful emotional trauma I've ever experienced. I wish I could let go of it. Its so automated and there's guilt lurking in the background if I'm actually able to, not let it affect me.

[@marilynm677]

I've lived with parental alienation too. I don't know the age of your child or children. For me it started when my child was already a teen and intensified around my divorcing her father when she was a young adult. Completely agree the most painful emotional trauma I've ever experienced too, and worse knowing it was "intentional" even if compulsive on the other parents part, to the child's detriment as well as our own. Human dramas. The best outlook I heard and attempted to implement, however hit and miss it might be, is taking care of oneself, healing oneself, getting as healthy and balanced a person as we possibly can become is best for us and best for our child. This is no small feat in these circumstances. Yet all other alternatives are worse. Best wishes to you, and your kids

[@jaredmccaskill5701]

The part you brought up about the survival mode was very useful, My mom actually told me to eat spaghetti and it would help starving people in Africa. I always thought that she should just send them food and actually help them. I agree with that too. I just disagree a little on the ice cold part. Because aren't you discussing warm positive energy that helps you live your epic life from being self-conscious and in control. I tell myself it's not my clowns it's not my circus. But questioning if it's your emotion is very helpful.

[@epicureaneternity]

actually we do need to focus on survival. we need weapons to protect ourselves, and we need reliable sources of food and water @9:04

[@bobevans5282]

Why is happens to us when we see someone on tv like in this pendemic situation if we see person having corona and their symptoms we eventually thinks that we can have that too but in the reality we have just cold because of eating ice cream

[@Wenzes]

That‘s why it‘s so important to practice energetic boundary setting

[@ryanunderwood5465]

We are All Emotions free following through only our hearts 🥰

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Which like you said, will put us in our natural state of bliss 🙃

[@jamielake-boyd3600]

This is how crazy I used to be. Tornado warning. Made my kids put there shoe/boots on with water snacks. Lol but the craziest was I took my bills down there too. My bills. Like if something happened I would be paying a light bill. I really haven't been in a different position I am now.

[@ryanunderwood5465]

We got this 🥇

[@juliagudino1963]

You're helping an INFJ out with ARFID. Thank you Wenzes! 🙏💜

[@tytambo22]

whats afrid ?

[@NoName37124]

@@tytambo22 avoidant restrictive food intake disorder

[@larapunk3532]

Idk, but I feel that those emotions of others inspire me a lot, or I feel that whenever I feel pain I get comfort because I get verification that I do really still feel! 😐

[@Wenzes]

Both is probably true...but it is still a choice

[@Tomken8d2]

I've been sub freezing toward a few people. I knew they were suffering but they had made me suffer or tried to cause me harm. It was an expression of contempt and disgust. They didn't deserve my concern, let alone empathy but such moments were transitory and my thermostat switched back to warm even though they still didn't really deserve it. Thumb number 188

[@JoeLoffredo]

Thanks!

[@JoeLoffredo]

I really appreciate the videos you make - they've helped me understand me and have made my life better. Thanks again!

[@ryanunderwood5465]

You are indeed EPIC🥳

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Especially you, Wenzes 🥇

[@Mick605]

With my pain. I'm learning to take away my Ego & anger. Wow the difference. Its like looking at a job needing tobe done. And thinking oh about a half an hour. And it will be done. But with My Ego & anger. The very same thought. Would feel like an. All day job to finish. I'm learning to use health thoughs for Me. I chose 2b happy and more. For myself. Keamea is well able to take care of my past abusers. Oh if they try I'll protect myself. Like ya do in general around ramdom people or places. But ya. Its good to live for my own wants & needs. 👌👌👌👌.

[@michaelstrangis1982]

Wow! This video is so on point!🙏

[@zenraven7x301]

Wow. This is all me. Thank you so much for this channel.🤟🤟🤟

[@Wenzes]

😉👍

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

When i feel like i am growing then i actually can.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

My higher self has this.

[@larapunk3532]

Wenzes I hope you answer I've strange feeling of not being sure if all what I'm feeling or saying in my own self is true, I keep say to myself :"do you really feel this or you manipulate even yourself to just be as normal as people " Idk if this has a explanation

[@Wenzes]

Decide what you want to feel and then aim to get there mentally over and over again...you will see if we take charge of our emotions everything changes

[@jacklang363]

I will not live the rest of my life as a slave so yes I will die soon. Walking deeper into control is the worst decision possible. But still will try to look out for people for however long I exist.

[@OLDANGRYBoSS]

You're tuns of help tysm!

[@ocho8172]

Excellent.

[@lbbork]

Thank you for your efforts.

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Wenzes.. see you just assured we are Tigers like I said 😇

[@ryanunderwood5465]

You’re good!!

[@ambraiezzi5037]

Very good video. 💙

[@simantini1737]

I needed it the most. Thanks a lot❤️

[@xavierdw8929]

Great stuff ! Thanks a lot :)

[@infinitemight7040]

Colder than planet pluto.

[@dancercarla1976]

The ice can burn too

[@lilyswan9008]

I know this

[@jackiegilbert5824]

I love your content but finally realized I had to play it back at a slower speed because you've edited out the normal spaces between statements such that there is no time to absorb what you just said.

[@RandolphTheWhite1]

I'm not just icy, I'm also muy calienté. I'm like a hot cold pack because I'm both disposable and bipolar.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

I am not running from any tiger anymore.

[@esmemartinez8976]

sorry, off-topic, but when i saw the thumbnail i realized that wenzes could perfectly cosplay Elsa from Frozen. :))) (which leads me to the question if Elsa could actually be INFJ 🤔 hmm ...)

[@ShawnDavid91]

Yes, can confirm she is an INFJ

[@jeannaroman9053]

Who is the emotion?

[@imdjc4]

I dunno. I think of it as a door that I can slam shut to keep the cold out. There. Problem solved....and I'm still warm.

[@Esperanzaaa]

💜💜💜

[@Wenzes]

😊❤️

[@dancercarla1976]

Totally the opposite

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

What if i don't want to be an INFJ.

[@jannetjoy]

Dang why she have to say something about starving children as soon as i started eating?...Dang

[@FamousDEntPrize-ze9pw]

I mean why is this world so toxic why are they creating wars against eachother hatred and criticism i hate it but i love these people 😊 why do these world look at me as a mad man when i worship God i mean thats insanity we were made to worship God not curse those who worship him. Although we love everyone bcz some may worship him and some wont some just dont care. This is hights of insanity 😊 we cant live without our God. We cant live without love and if we preach these things they say you're crazy. But look at the big difference crazy 🤪/godly🙂

[@jeannaroman9053]

Chest

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Mmmm I C E B O X 🥶🥶

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Lone wolves are NARCISSISTS

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Focus

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Pretty please 😁

[@prathampokhrel8944]

Fist comment after wenzes's

[@Wenzes]

😀👍

[@anitahendricks]

[@ricardobarron4574]

:)

[@danielfisher6501]

Jesus christ her voice

[@Wenzes]

😊