What A Widow Doesn't Want to Admit

[@ashley3461]

Awesome video as always, Lindsay! I went through everything that you talked about in the video after losing my husband too. I could especially relate to the jealousy part. Seeing happy couples, my best friend was pregnant, and seeing others going through life and smiling when my world had fallen apart felt so UNFAIR! I also had times that I was angry because alot of my "friends" didn't have time to talk to me when I needed someone. I did have friends that were always there for me too though. And I also remember how I didn't want to get out of bed and it took so much out of me just to take care of myself and do basic household chores. But I can promise you that this won't last and you will feel better. The main things that helped me were: prayer, crying, counseling, spending time with loved ones, medication, and time. And you know I love you and you're always in my thoughts and prayers! 💕

[@lifeofweez8225]

Ashley you are amazing! Thank you for your support. It's always so comforting to hear from other widows. I start therapy next month and I know it will be good. Time I know is the hardest thing. It'd be nice if I could blink and it'd be gone. You are in my prayers as well! Thanks again girl!

[@ashley3461]

Life of Weez Thanks honey. I just wish I had someone to talk to when I was going through it. Sure, I had plenty of friends, but none of them had lost a spouse so I felt that even though they had the best of intentions, they didn't really understand what I was feeling. And because of that I felt so alone sometimes, and maybe by being there for you, I can help you feel less alone. And it's great that you're starting therapy. It's going to help you so much!

[@laurenelizabeth7525]

Ashley: I so understand and relate to the friends thing! I lost my first husband 4 years ago, and it was so hard because I barely had anyone. Being young and widowed is totally unrelatable to others our age especially because it's not common. It's like people were so weirded out so they walked away. That was hard because my best friend was gone, then my friends were too. Talking to other widows is so relieving to me though...young widows truly get each other:)

[@ashley3461]

Lauren Elizabeth We really do. It's been five years for me since I lost my husband in a motorcycle accident that an 83 year old man caused. He ran a stop sign and pulled right into traffic. My best friends that stuck by me actually ended up being my guy friends, other than my life-long best friend. Everyone else just disappeared. It's so good to have this channel (Thank you Lindsay!) so that widows (I am remarried now though) can communicate with each other and feel less alone. I'm so sorry for your loss and my love, thoughts, and prayers go out to you.

[@laurenelizabeth7525]

Ashley I agree! I'm thankful for this channel as well. I lost my first husband in march of 2013. My husband died at home...*deep breath* due to an accidental shooting by our son who was 13 at the time. My husband was in the Army and survived 4 deployments to Iraq, but died at home. It was - still is so surreal. I'm also remarried now. It's still a struggle at times, but I keep moving forward as best as I can. My mantra is "my life is so tragic it's hilarious!" I just have to laugh to keep from crying sometimes! It just feels so good to reach out and talk to other widows. Only WE truly understand each other. I had to move back home and start all over. Finally, after 4 years I think life is starting to stabilize a bit for us. And thank you for the thoughts and prayers! Mine are with you both as well!!!

[@kimsemple8545]

absolutely. You nailed it all. I am 6 months a widow and agree with it all. I will even admit to yelling at a couple (in my car where they couldn't hear me) "one of you will die one day! on a particularly bad day....it sounds crazy, but thats how it is. Thank you for sharing and being honest.,

[@emarshal1]

This made me laugh. I think I had a similar moment scrolling through people's happiness online. "STOP BEING SO HAPPY!" you want everyone to feel as sad as you sometimes so you don't feel so alone in the trenches

[@kimsemple8545]

@@emarshal1 always good when you can make somebody laugh when grieving. :-)

[@toniclark3512]

Yesssssssss super hard, lost my sweet hubby 6 months ago. The loneliness is soooooo brutal 😢 we were together 40 years, and it is hard to explain the hurt, like losing half of your body, never imagining life without my hubby.God bless !!!

[@danishamclennan7181]

I'm 20, just lost my husband Nov 5, 2017. I feel the exact same way. I'm not alone. Thank u for sharing.

[@lifeofweez8225]

Danisha Myles my heart is breaking for you. Reading your comment and seeing how new you are just brings me back to those first couple of weeks. Sending so many hugs and prayers your way ♥️

[@PhotographyFieldNotes]

You are so eloquent, Lindsay! You described how you're feeling in such a relatable way. Keep up the awesome work on this channel

[@lifeofweez8225]

Kara Baird thank you! I always feel like I'm rambling on and on. I am glad it came across well because I was worried about sharing this one. Thank you for your support!

[@ashley3461]

Life of Weez You never ramble, at least not to me. You are very well spoken and get your point across very well.

[@lifeofweez8225]

Ashley you are the best! Thanks lady! Also- I’m going to start a Facebook group for all the widows/widowers commenting on here. I’m leaving for a little vacation but I should have it up next week. I’ll email you!

[@syclick]

I lost my wife a couple of months ago, and I completely understand the jealousy towards other couples. Nothing malignant, though. It just hurts to see what I no longer have.

[@Lzin4567]

Thank you

[@gayscott1899]

I feel all of those things. I am not afraid of death either. A friend of mine snakes me back to not wanting to die. I had a transplant , and my donor passed awsy, and my friend announced at a thanksgiving dinner I was than 5 years transplant. I am grateful for the gift of life.

[@kristenelizabeth4268]

Yes..I feel the same💔

[@allysonzammito327]

Wow what you said about not fearing death and being accepting of it and being ok if you didn’t wake up is exactly how I felt. I said to my husband today while I was talking to his urn like I always do that I wish I could be with him where he is. It’s been almost 3 months for me.

[@NG-zb4pu]

I hope you will see this, it looks like you haven’t posted a video in about a year. I just happened upon this channel and listening to your story and especially this video has helped me to feel not alone. I just lost my husband of 5+ years on Dec. 10th also unexpectedly. This kind of loss is the most confusing, heartbreaking, cruel time of my life. Everything you said in these videos I fully feel and relate 100%. I hope you see this and are able to write an update of your life or even make a video. Thank you for sharing your story

[@AnayahPMcKay]

I know exactly what you mean. I had those same thoughts when my husband first passed away in August 2020. Not suicidal but just wanting to go.

[@MsKae-tf8rw]

I know exactly what you're talking about!

[@MuhammadImran-ln4fz]

❤❤❤😍😍😍😍😍😍i love u

[@anniemarquardt2330]

First. I just want to say that I have never commented on a youtube video before; I don't even think I have posted anything to even FB. So this is very much unlike me. Second. I don't even really know how all this works but I do believe I'm a bit delayed in my commenting, I apologize. Im just sitting here in PHX, AZ at 6am and listening to all the songs that just aren't happy to me anymore, they just don't apply anymore. So anyway... my point (which Im almost certain there isnt going to be one) is that I have been having a really hard time after losing my soulmate. I woke up on June 3rd, 2018 rather late that morning to give my spectacular yet birthday Grinch of a husband a very over the top "Happy birthday Eve" kiss and loving because he was turning 46 yrs old in just 14 hours and I promised to not celebrate his actual birthday but day before was fair game in my eyes... but one issue... I woke up but he didn't.I don't know why, autopsy is still being done and the funeral home won't cremate his body until there is a cause of death ($55 a night for him to be "stored", what an unelegant way to word it I think especially since it's more expensive than the hotel down the street that I can't even afford to stay at). I started rambling... Okay so I just wanted to thank you for posting because I simply forgot the amazing things we had together because only pain lives here now so your 6 month video about sweet mercies (and I don't believe in God or anything anymore) it just kinda made me start remembering all the precious and priceless things we had and our amazing year together where we spent 366 days together with no money, no responsibilities and just lived off of corn flakes , cheeseburgers and deep conversation. He'd leave to go get more flakes and burgers but in total only 17 hours away from each other in over 366 days... It was spectacular and I can't believe I almost forgot. I dont have anyone to get advice/hugs from which is how I prefer it but ur video helped me today. So thank you, Andee Third... I apologize for all my punctuation/spelling typos... I don't have the tissues to proof read right now. .... I love and miss you, Jason, so very much and I'd give anything to be able to hear you play Metallica on your guitar again. 🎸🤘🥀

[@alyssaprows4624]

You hit the nail I have felt the same way I begged him to come get me I've begged him to come get me. Are not scared of dying now I'm scared that he's not going to be there when I get there that's my fear now

[@kimberlymcv8408]

I am attending a wedding Friday it will be hard . I see older couples together a I get jealous of the fact that they get to grow old together