What Being 'GHOSTED' Is REALLY About (Ask A Shrink)

When somebody ABRUPTLY stops all communication with you, you've been 'GHOSTED'! You may be left wondering WHY this happened and if you did something WRONG......but actually the 'problem' lies with the person DOING the Ghosting. Find out how 'Ghoster's' avoid confrontation and hide from their feelings in today's video. I'm a Licensed Therapist and answer your questions on 'Ask A Shrink'.

[@gracie57]

Really good video. I met a fella that needed help with food & clothing. Has a physical disability & waiting for compensation. Seemed like an honest & humble person who has had a lot of tragedy in his life. I wasn’t looking for anything, just being a caring person for someone less fortunate. The last time I saw him, we had dinner together & everything seemed ok. That was the last time we connected…. He literally ghosted me. I’m not upset about helping him out, just didn’t understand why. Your video truly explained what the reason was….lack of a healthy childhood… and being able to deal with feelings. He was raised in foster care from age 14….. and I believe he was scared about starting to have feelings for me. I hope that things will work out for him with his disability. No more confusion for me anymore. Again Thankyou

[@BradShore]

So glad it helps!

[@meggygarol912]

😅

[@words911]

Or maybe he didn't want you to feel sorry for him

[@jordanphilipperris]

Ghosting, whether it be in regards to waiting for a call from a potential employer (Dealt with that in what seems like a lifetime ago) or from someone you have been chatting with from a relationship site, it has become like a pandemic in of itself… These days, and I can tell you from experience and comments left whenever I try to bring up the matter, at least here in Canada (And who knows where else), a frightening number of times being real is looked upon as either being an odd/cringy individual or someone who is fake, and someone who should be avoided or helped, while those who are pleasantly fake are seen as being real, where the term gentleman has become notably distorted)!! When you merely want to bring up a point odds are it will be looked upon as an argument by those who see things differently as oppose to being a discussion with a differing point of view… Then you have people who report your comments and get them removed even if they are perfectly reasonable… What does freedom of speech even mean in todays world anyways? These days (And for a while now, actually), for many, stress is so bad (You can look this up for yourselves) that between debt and having to pretty much skip an actual/real/true childhood, having to worry about finding a good job (That will actually be a career) in this economy and everything else the average college students experience similar levels of stress as an average 1950s insane asylum patient but without actually being diagnosed as insane, and heated arguments feeling similar to how those felt when fighting in WW2… The problem is, when you are born into stuff it is what you know and what you adapt to as normal is changing all the time… So many things are looked upon as attacks and something to be defended, like how dare you think differently, how dare you even bring up such nonsense, why should anyone do that/etc/etc/etc (Thinking that you are the one in the wrong, again, discussions being like arguments, so good luck even trying to “discuss” it with a notable number of people like that… Call be crazy, but during 2004 to around 2007 it was like things were being notably sugarcoated to try and hind the s***, then around I’d say 2007 and onwards, the vibes and/or collective consciousness and/or whatever it is that seems to be in the air just seems to be getting steadily worse as time goes on… For those of us that actually do have a lot going for us in our lives, let us be grateful as H E double hockey stick :)@@BradShore

[@CathyHunt-rj3sx]

Had 4 idyllic months a year ago. Never had such an easy rapport. Great chemistry, no rushing into anything, pace was slow and tone was always playful and happy. Then the 1st day of Summer came, left a voicemail wishing him a happy first day of Summer, and saying maybe it’s a good time to figure what we each want, and that I liked consistency in a relationship. No word for a week. I sent a message saying I hoped everything was okay with him - he was divorced dad who, former wife died 4 years prior and he was raising the kids, and they were struggling. Never heard from him. Nothing. I met a great man a few months later, but the guy that ghosted me, so stunned me, that it is still this open wound that is not healing, try as I might to let it go. What do I do to not care?

[@MrEOM41]

The funny thing the ghoster is usually the one who showed a lot of interest in the beginning… so ironic

[@neodistinct]

BPD

[@greenqueen8134]

Always!!!

[@greenqueen8134]

I’ll be ignoring someone n finally give them a chance and then when they disappear I tell them wth & they gaslight me & act like I’m the crazy one lol

[@lolaamazonia5218]

Exactly!

[@MeganMingler]

Yes! That is what I cannot wrap my head around.

[@wendy8037]

I have been ghosted and it has made me crystal clear that it is something I will never ever do to another person and I will teach children to never do that to others as well. It caused me so much pain

[@dubk7369]

Yeah it really hurts smh.. I hate that I’m going through it now

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

Stop and consider what people have been through that they have to do this. They never respect your decisions and agree to part amicably. They want to try to manipulate you into changing your mind. And I don’t think a good person is going to tell you why they are not interested in you if it’s not going to make you feel good about yourself yet that is the thing that they always beg to know. In an ideal world we would not have to ghost but we can’t trust people to respond maturely anymore

[@wendy8037]

@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 depends on what you consider ghosting. Maybe if you only knew the person for a few days/weeks. The man who ghosted me was telling me he loved me, that he wanted us to go on a trip that weekend and we had been dating for three months, I also met all of his friends.

[@jessp8238]

@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 No, a mature and responsible adult accepts those consequences and does the right thing.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

a responsible adult respects peoples personal agency. don't be an entitled baby who throws hussy fits and it won't happen to you so much.@@jessp8238

[@davidwilliesosa9096]

Ghosting is rude and cowardly.

[@megannharris1032]

Yes and CRUEL. NO EXCUSES FOR THIS!

[@cobrazoid]

@@megannharris1032 Hear, hear. And I find it even more disgusting that really makes me sick to my stomach that there are some people giving the excuses for these cowards, say for example some "disorder" while that may be true some but not all who have a "disorder", but that doesn't give them an excuse for their actions. That is like saying a killer has a disorder, but because they have it, doesn't mean it is an excuse for them to be free and repeating those same exact actions.

[@cherrylane79]

Unless you are cutting someone abusive off, doing that to someone who has done nothing wrong, that is hurtful.

[@megannharris1032]

💯

[@megannharris1032]

Yes 💯 I am in full agreewith this thought, for your thought/thoughts

[@megannharris1032]

If I have done business with a company in good faith and he had violated my rights, They should be Disciplined in some way, And the consumer reinbursed

[@natashadickson4819]

Yep. Ghost an abuser. Plan your escape. Give no prior warning. No contact afterwards.

[@MrOldskool1974]

We need to normalize that ghosting is literally a form of emotional abuse. It’s absolutely horrible and extremely painful to go through. Ultimately it’s extremely selfish and show emotional immaturity.

[@natashadickson4819]

It's not. Some people are dangerous and if you let know that you are going to leave or detach, they will hassle or harm you. For your own safety, you must leave or detach without giving notice. Block them too, as soon as you escape. 🚫 If you block them ahead of time, you're giving them a heads-up.

[@robertblake9892]

Been ghosted several times. One of My Rules of Life is that if someone doesn't value my friendship theirs is worth even less to me.

[@dukerider694]

If someone can’t be bothered to be honest with you, then they don’t deserve you !!!!

[@Davinia77]

The minute you realize someone has ghosted you do not call or text them. Let them go!

[@VinnyCarwash-js8op]

Definitely not. They will be made to feel small, stupid and ignorant.

[@MrEOM41]

Yupp if they don’t have the decency to text or call them simply move on

[@toabettertomorrow7949]

Idk but I think I’ve been blocked since this afternoon… I’m trying to figure out if maybe this person’s phone is off/dead or anything but ehh.. maybe not. Kinda sucks but I’ll definitely get over it.

[@DTHRILLS.DANIEL.THRILLRIDETV]

Definitely our worth is more than this

[@sirman8774]

Lack of consideration for any one but themselves

[@Louiefromnextdoor]

Thank you for this video. To all those that got ghosted: get distraction, be with your friends. Take time to heal and enjoy living YOUR life again by putting the focus back on YOU. Your life is not about them. X big virtual hugs to anyone who needs it🤗

[@theguynextdoor4978]

I'm returning that hug. The girl I like just disappeared on me, won't even talk to me out of the blue. It sucks, but at the end of the day we cannot force someone. It comes to a point where we have no other option but letting them go.

[@scenemorris]

Just got ghosted on Christmas morning

[@dubk7369]

I’m going through it right now.. she just did it out of nowhere.. I figure it’s someone else but yeah shit sucks man

[@christinagarcia5274]

Thank you! It does hurt but I later realized that it had nothing to do with me.

[@cosmicbrownie333]

I’ve been ghosted many times over the years and I just accept it for what it is: rejection. I’ve never taken it personally. Having enough mature, healthy relationships with people helped with this mindset. As a millennial I just assume this will be the outcome 90% of the time with people I meet 🤷🏿‍♀️. I just assume they’re immature with poor communication skills and I go on about life. They always come back and I just stay silent. When you know your worth, you don’t try to convince people you’re valuable. Never trade in respect for attention. It’s hardly ever worth it.

[@2Bluzin]

It's sad that you have to expect that. We should live in a society where that is the exception and not the rule.

[@MrApplewine]

You get ghosted when you call the attention seekers bluff by withholding attention. You may have lost interest so didn't give them attention, but they want nothing to do with you even as a friend once you know what they are

[@VDeon32]

THIS!!!! This is the post right here my Susta!!!!!

[@cosmicbrownie333]

@@2Bluzin it is indeed. In my early 30s now but due to being a teenager growing up with social media platforms I know that not much has changed with the sensory overload of “options” at your fingertips. It’s to be expected.

[@starcatcher3691]

They dont always come back, though

[@marylnmonroe]

ghosting is toxic.

[@LisaRichards_123]

Maybe in some cases, ghosting is also a form of abuse.

[@swiftkarma4436]

It is

[@cameroncollins5201]

@@swiftkarma4436 nah

[@wendyjhanks5173]

It is abuse

[@theempress8947]

For sure it's emotional abuse......but I sometimes wonder if the person that has been ghosted hasn't also unknowingly contributrd to being ghosted ..... be careful who u date...thats what I've learnt from my ghosting experience

[@McKinneyLiz]

it most certainly abuse

[@user-su7kt1xt2o]

I have been ghosted not long ago. I have no idea what I might have said or done that was not ok for him, but liked you said, it’s actually his problem, his lack of maturity to communicate or be respectful. It does hurt, though, even knowing that it’s not us and we will never know the reason for their decision to sever the contact. For me, it’s simply cowardice. A man who does that is not man enough for me.

[@naomijugduth5614]

I've been ghosted from my bf of 2 years, there's nothing more excruciating

[@melissa3986]

So sorry that happened to you. 😔

[@emmahedgecock7091]

That sucks it’s like one thing if it’s someone you’ve casually known a few weeks or maybe 2 months and hung out twice, But that’s truly fucked up if you’ve been in a committed relationship and especially for that long! Similar thing happened, our relationship was shorter, he did give a brief call ending things (to his credit) and then say some confusing things afterwards. But anyways, it really fucking hurt and I really wanted closure and also he’d had an actual life situation come up and I wanted to try again when he was ok.. Long story short, I wish I didn’t waste so much time and energy (girl it took me like 3 years to forget this man, Idek why). But my point is, I spent so much mental energy wondering why and also “wanting to leave myself open” in case we did workout again. No idea if you’re going through that, and it’s definitely healthy you’re seeking (EDUCATIONAL CLOSURE), because he literally left you with a lack of it and no way to get it from him. Self care and healing are important, But I know I had a lot of confusion and it just.. it made it hard to let go. It made it hard to accept I had to move on. It left me so confused and wanting answers. And there are so many beautiful things in this world so I just wanted to share with you my experience, and how I wished I hadn’t wasted SOOOOOO much mental energy on this man. I’m not saying shove it under the rug either. Two years is a long time. I’m like, did he go to prison and somehow not remember anybodys phone number? Get detained? Find out his family was in protective costudy from an actual danger and get told to ditch everyone or his family’s lives might be at risk? Highly doubt it, but I’m sorry I can’t imagine just straight ho ghosting your partner of two years! Those seem like the only plausible scenerios, and also it just doesn’t make any sense. Even ghosters will end an official relationship! They might avoid conflict for a few days and maybe dodge someone who likes them too quick cuz they’re slow to warm up. But almost every ghoster I know would not only have the decency to kindly say XY or Z. He would also answer your calls and texts and understand you are suffering and still have love for you and try and offer support. I’m sorry love :(

[@kellysims5732]

Ghosting is a rotten and horrible form of abuse. I believe any person that you choose to have an interaction with Deserves a final statement and a chance at rebuttal. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO LEAN FROM EACH OTHER.

[@sagrammyfour]

You're kidding, right? "Learn from each other?" I learned he is a liar and I was a vulnerable fool. I learned on my own, that HE is the loser and in the end, he did me a favor.

[@starcatcher3691]

@@sagrammyfour Yeah it would learning for me

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

Plenty of people ghost because they were abused when they tried to do it the way you want

[@almy75]

​@@banquetoftheleviathan1404 WTF is wrong with you?!

[@ruffian-wl1nd]

​@@sagrammyfoursame here. We've known each other for more than 30 years and been involved on and off for 27 of those years.14 months ago he ghosted and discarded me for his female roommate who is 26 years younger than him. I pretty sure he was falling in love with her. He hated the guy she was seeing. He acted more like a jealous boyfriend than a father figure.

[@slingding86]

When they say "I wouldn't ghost you.", then a week later do that. So now you're a ghost and a fucking liar! I'm awesome your loss! I'll be on the beach by myself!

[@kendrachambers7763]

This statement is truth & great! Ty.

[@yazansakran3326]

I had this happen to me

[@jessicakim2511]

I love this

[@morfometa]

Similar thing happened to me

[@slingding86]

@@jessicakim2511 she actually commented on one of my KZbin videos recently. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't.

[@Gravitywalker20]

I've been rejected more times than a telemarketer, and flaked on more times than someone's bad dandruff problem. Now, I'm just getting too old, and I think the only good all that pain did for me was it turned me into a better comedian.

[@lorenheard2561]

This is sadly why so many of us can laugh even when it hurts like hell. We learn to joke,laugh,clown around to not let them get to us. My Grandpa told me that some of the most famous Clowns in the old days had some of the deepest sorrows..🤡=😭☹️😶🌹🌻🌼🌺🌹☘️🌳Sometimes we must make our own "Rose Garden!!🏞️🌄🌅🌴🌳🌲🌵🌠🌌🐦🦜🐓🐎🐕🐈🐈‍⬛🦝🦊🐰🐭🐹🐮🐸🐴Sometimes animals have been my best buddies!💯🕊️

[@georgelay1963]

I like your at

[@waltersmith3267]

Lol

[@BigSoul29]

It's sad.

[@Jules2468]

You’re funny! 😂 Hope life’s going well for you.

[@MeowNOVA]

Ghosting can definitely hurt. It’s too much to try to “mind read” what or why the ghoster ghosted u.. Mature ppl communicate with you. I know it’s hard to have some conversations, but it’s also the right thing to do to communicate with someone. Leaving someone “hanging” and just ghosting them without explanation is telling of that person. There’s so many ways to communicate you just hv to be willing. Don’t allow other ppl to waste ur time. Value yourself enough to not give ppl that power over u.

[@anastasia10017]

how about having enough respect for the people you date to man up and have a conversation and be honest ? how about having the basic courtesy to not hurt and humiliate a person you were dating ? did your parents not teach you basic manners and how to be a decent human being ???? ghosting is just another form of abuse.

[@real_hello_kitty]

truth

[@dcbfan1231]

Well said. I personally apologized to the person I was ghosting and I straight up was honest, transparent, and truthful to her that we’re not going to happen. Sometimes we as individuals need to confront what’s important and not play with people’s feelings and emotions.

[@hazell1593]

👍👍

[@PatFan1980]

I was just ghosted by someone I never thought would ever do that to me. I’m more confused about it than anything else, but I guess it’s just another example of not truly knowing someone you thought you understood. I wish nothing but the best for them and if this helps them find peace and happiness then so be it.

[@carriedaniels40]

just been ghosted and it was honestly like the worst experience I’ve ever had to go through. Nothing tore my self-esteem down more than having the person that was saying I love you to you every day to hearing nothing from them for a whole month. we were broken up, but we have been talking for the months following our break up and he had just suddenly decided not to reply to me after I confessed my love for him still and said sorry for everything I did. i had a feeling like we were going to get back together eventually, but now I don’t believe that so much. Just in a weird stage of grief right now, but i’m turning to God to help me through it.

[@ruffian-wl1nd]

Ghosters are all narcissists.

[@dianaschramer5065]

You seem to making light of this very painful experience for those who have been the recipient of this cowardly, cruel, and selfish behavior.

[@mj-np9sy]

I've had two women I loved in my 40 years ghost me. The first was my hs sweetheart, 3 years. Absolutely traumatizing and I can't believe I survived that. Then at 36 or so I was ghosted again, no abuse, not amazing relationships we weren't on cloud 9 but seemingly loved one another. We had mature conversations about if we should or needed or wanted to break up and move along we would talk about it. I'm 100% sure both of these women wound up cheating on me and moving on with another dude immediately or before we even "broke up." disgusting.

[@NWWood17]

I was ghosted by someone I really liked a lot (not a romantic relationship) a few months ago and it still hurts. It's puzzling to me because she's someone who I really thought understood the importance and value of empathy, friendship and kindness. She's not a bad person and I'm not mad at her. I am disappointed. I know she's had a rough life at times, and I try to keep that perspective. I don't know the full story because she won't talk to me. I miss her and I get sad when I think about her, but I have to move on. It's something I don't wish on anyone. Not sure why but I've been thinking about her lately. But I know she doesn't want me in her life, and it would be a mistake to contact her. I'm kind of rambling here. It helps a bit and write this out and get it off my chest. I have to take care of myself. To anyone dealing with this, hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

Sorry to hear you’re going through that. It’s really tough. I guess we have to realize everyone in our life will come and go in some way. Some of us stay with us for life, but even they eventually die. Not to be morbid. Just saying, people’s priorities change, people themselves change, situations change, people come into our lives and leave and then new people come in. We might miss those people for life, but there’s always great new people to meet if we try.

[@NWWood17]

Thank you. I'm now having more good days than bad days now. But the hurt is still there. It visits me like some random tide that comes in and then goes away after a while. I just wish she had told me upfront what was going on. There was no need for this ghosting BS. I hope you are well.@@lionelgrisbane-ud87

[@annberlin5811]

Its really really abusive to ghost a friend

[@jraa4560]

It happened to me January 1st, got used and Ghosted by a young lesbian. Sucked tho, cause she was so sweet. Told me all her family trauma and opened up, then Ghost. She used me in her car and i never talked to her again. Her issues were no mom, no dad, tons more red flags. Ive learned from it .

[@Steffy-xm7mc]

@@lionelgrisbane-ud87same exact thing happened to me and my friend who I called my sister. I still don’t understand why she ghosted me when I was the only person in her life that cared for her and tried to help her. She had a horrible childhood with parents not caring. She has no other friends. A sister who lives far away that she barely speaks to and a brother she cut off. Why ghost the only person who helped her through tough times?!

[@Joelswinger34]

I think it's about control and selfishness. The person doing it only cares about their own feelings and also gets to avoid having to deal with the other person's reaction. My family sucked at feelings, and I don't ghost people because I don't want to make other people feel bad. Of course, it lets the other person know the ghoster is not dating material, but it deprives them of the opportunity to tell them they're a jerk.

[@waltersmith3267]

It does no good to tell them They’re a jerk, people know who they are, and what they do. Actions speak louder than words, ghost the ghoster. Easier said than done but worth it.

[@shawdeejay5408]

Nope I still call them out . I don’t care it’s valid to be upset

[@YoursTrudie]

I’ve been ghosted recently…what just happened??? 😮 We were friends since 12 years ago…we progressed to being more intimate and having so much fun and sharing not only ourselves, but our family too. I found it difficult to believe he could just treat me like that after all the “I love you’s” and other endearing words that just suddenly stopped. Unfathomable. It’s been months and still no communication. I feel the most upset because I wasted time grieving for the loss of this longtime “friendship”. This video helped explain it so well. I feel like I can move on…thank you so much 🙏🏻

[@standground7956]

I had a relationship just like this. We became bf/gf, I got undeniable proof she cheated: At that point, I realized the person I thought I knew was proving me a false version of themselves. So in reality it was extremely quick to move on. I didn’t confront her, just wrote a letter and went no contact.

[@real_hello_kitty]

@yours perhaps he's never been a friend at the first place.

[@danger1240]

The best is when they get you to promise not to give up on them then they up and disappear. The only way out they leave you is to break your word and give up on the person you love. Pretty hard thing for a good loyal person to do. Basically giving up on your core morals.

[@ladyvirgo9514]

My husband of 12 years literally discarded me and ghosted me. Sadly I will have zero closure until divorce court. So evil

[@ayonticabanerjee8326]

Still marriage ending is a closure. He must give a valid reason to obtain divorce

[@rebecca_stone]

My heart goes out to you. This video seems to be preoccupied with dating scenarios. My partner of four years just did exactly this, so I can't imagine how painful a 12yr marriage ending like this would be like.

[@ladyvirgo9514]

@rebecca_stone they leave a trail of devastation with Zero regrets. Hugs

[@theguynextdoor4978]

It may be easier for someone who has an avoidant attachment style. In other cases it's used as an abusive method by narcissists and other toxic individuals. A narcissist will often give a person the silent treatment, and vanish without explanation for extended periods of time. All of a sudden he/she will back again to get their dose of narcissistic supply.

[@cookingwithchefeandfriends3017]

Wow i just went through this. I think its very immature to just leave someone in that state. Im currently healing now. Thank You for the video🙏🏾

[@Useruseruseruser77893]

I've been ghosted after 10 years of distance relationship. Years past by since than but I was really very hurt for a long time. Now I'm good and I know it wasn't about me, but rather about him. The only thing I regret is for be stupid and for investing my valuable time in wrong relationship. I would never do that again.

[@Ayhaninho892]

Couple of months ago, I labeled ghosting as the one thing "I hated the most". My parents did that to me. It's very hurtful. Couple of weeks ago, a person I met, did it again. But just like you said in the beginning, it's more about them! Nothing to be mad about or taking personally. Actually, thanks for being honest and showing your dark side to me. But you're not going to be my partner or friend ever.

[@elizabethdevries8028]

Ghosting someone as an adult is pathetic, weak and cruel.

[@SelfHelp-vz9fm]

Ghosting others is evil it is a form of non-verbal harrasment.

[@mariabrennan72]

ghosting is coward behavior its for kids not adults if adults are doing it get your head checked

[@brentbrown2756]

I’ve been ghosted twice in the last month. Yeah, it sucks if you’ve ever had it happen. Chin up and move on.

[@rudyg9210]

This is so much my story! Sending healing hugs across to all who have gone through this phase....

[@starcatcher3691]

Yeah they don't want to deal with it or take responsibility. It was so hurtful to me. He was at first so warm, saying amazing things to me and then ghosting me. Because I feel like he didn't even think of my feelings, we can't even be friends or "know" each other anymore. Too much hurt. He ruined everything.

[@starcatcher3691]

Yes we know some of the same people and unfortunately, I will see him at various social events. It sucks because I am so nervous about seeing him and being triggered as it happened before.

[@sages101]

I had a girl ghost me a few days ago. Talked for a while and than all of a sudden I didn't exist. She was asking how tall I am, what's my living situation etc. I answered, but in the back of my head I felt these are weird questions to ask someone you just met. Kinda glad she decided to disappear on her own, because I don't think it would have gone anywhere good.

[@capalottyslimalini2878]

dude me too. She asked me what my parents do? I’m like okay? She said she wanted to get food. I took it was an opportunity and messaged her if she wanted to get food this weekend. Been ghosted for 3 days now. Very unattractive. I dont wanna pursue her anymore but now Its gonna be awkward every day at school now. it really shows her lack of maturity and lack of empathy towards others. I think she might be a narcissist

[@alexanderh9878]

I was ghosted 40 years ago. Still trying to understand what happened.

[@starcatcher3691]

I think that will be me. Happened 1.5 years ago and I am still thinking about it. I hate it.

[@alexanderh9878]

@@starcatcher3691 No, no. Don't let that happen. You deserve better.

[@codyjones1098]

Me too! meet my love of my life!! I adored her, started at 15. continued until we were 22. I was with her romantically that monday, by friday I got off work went to see her, as she walked another guy past me to go out for dinner! I was never the same to this day. Not ever connected with another woman, been married, but never went to that place again!

[@NeoAutodroid]

You need to move on dude, holding on to something that long is too long. Crazy things happen in the world, our universe is literally the result of entropy. Dont try to analyze everything, just let go and move on. Become comfortable with just saying "weird, I don't know" and moving on and letting go.

[@mrstoner2udude799]

I just got ghosted by PhD in psychologyb/Psychotherapist. I feel sorry for her, AND IM PISSED! This helped alot. I can comfortably ignore her now. It was very hurtful .

[@flowerofthesoul6160]

They're the worst nut jobs I know this personally😊 Move on you deserve so much better

[@bbfreetube]

I once ghosted a narcissist. She drained my energy as she went on and on about herself, her trips, etc. She never asked about me or listened as I tried to talk to her. In this case it was best to end it. I knew it was not good to do this. In hindsight I should have wrote to her about how I felt as she would have to read it (listen)

[@amelittaberretta9109]

Ghosting is the work of the Devil. The consequences of being ghosted are long lasting, terrifying. In particular if you are old, alone, being ghosted by a previous acquaintance.

[@thegamingchef3304]

I have never ghosted anyone, even when I felt like it. My parents raised me to be respectful and treat people with dignity and respect. You have to recognize the tendencies of people who ghost. Usually people who do it have low self-esteem and have been mistreated in past relationships...So they have this cycle of narcissism they perpetuate. What they will do is bait you into getting comfortable, then they will just cut off all communication. Best way to negate this and counter it is if you send a text, and they don't respond all day (I.E Anything more than 2-3 hours, most people aren't away from their phones that long) then absolutely do not communicate with them...Do not text back, do not call etc. After awhile they will probably call or text out of curiosity as to why you haven't taken their narcissistic bait. If they do not text or call and you are friends on social media they will do things to try to get your attention. Just ignore them and move on. As tough as that might seem it will benefit you and your mental health in the long run.

[@BradShore]

Great insights and boundary setting! Thanks for sharing....

[@standground8284]

You'll change your perspective on that once you ghost someone who cheated on you. Once I got definitive proof my long term girlfriend cheating- I moved out, left a letter with the evidence of her cheating and when no contact. Months of her contacting me endlessly. Meaningless to confront a cheater unless you want closure for yourself, cheaters will take it as an ego stroke. I'm good with no closure. You thought she'd be grateful that I removed myself from her life and lifted her burden of sneaking around behind my back. Her mother accuses me of causing her mental trauma and attempted suicide from the ghosting.

[@thegamingchef3304]

@@standground8284 Cheating or crazy is different.

[@standground7956]

@@thegamingchef3304 👍

[@standground7956]

@@thegamingchef3304 so many people gave me hell! Saying I was the bad guy. Apparently you’re supposed to forgive a cheater with grace and treat them with kindness.

[@erice7933]

I learned to withdraw emotionally as a child for survival, ghosting was second nature to me I was an adult child who was incapable of expressing my true feelings because I didn't know what my true feelings were, I believe FEAR controlled me. FEAR Forget Everything And Run.

[@dcarrenob89]

Are you proud of hurting others with your behavior?

[@erice7933]

I look back on this and I believe I was confusing ghosting with passive aggressive behavior, both are about avoiding communication but they manifest differently and have different characteristics. Passive aggressive use indirect communication where ghosting is complete disappearance, both leave a confused person who has no idea what they did wrong. These situations are where we learn to use our I feel statements but I feel intense love from you, it feels really good but will you please treat me like a piece of crap and use me more because I'm familiar with that.

[@docrb]

That's an honest self realization..

[@HM-uj6ud]

@@erice7933there’s no rationalization or excuse for the behavior. It’s trash. People who do it should come with a giant warning sign but unfortunately they don’t so they need to stay away from others.

[@EnigmaticGatekeeper]

​@@dcarrenob89 you missed the whole point. We all have different coping mechanisms and you have to be mature enough to know that people go through multiple things in life that you might not be able to comprehend or even resonate with.

[@tizroc]

If someone has broken your reasonable boundaries you don’t owe them an explanation. No discussion. They made a conscious choice to violate that in a relationship. Such as cheating. I got all the closure I need and since that person wasn’t the person I thought they were, or I would not have trusted them. Why do shrinks feel the need to push additional “closure”. This was 35 years ago and she was a fake persona who I have never felt any need to validate with a discussion.

[@mrnewton86]

I don't wish any future success to the endeavours of anyone who ghosts, I honestly hope they get cheated on and/or lose everything. Id sooner hurt someones feelings for a day, than possibly affecting someone's mental health (low self esteem/social anxiety/depression) in the long term. And all these girls say on their profiles stuff like; 'Whats the point in matching if you're not going to talk' ..Well what's the point in matching if you're just going to cut us off anyway?

[@tonitv9991]

cut you off from what? 99% of men on dating apps are trying to get laid with the least effort possible.

[@adrianh332]

Ghosting is one of the most cruel and heinous psychological mind fks one human being can inflict on another and should only be used against someone who is abusive or violent. I was ghosted by my best friend of 39 years it was so horrible and painful but I was lucky they eventually explained themselves, it was a crappy explanation and I don't believe it but reading between the lines it became very obvious that my former friends marriage was in difficulty and as a former boyfriend I was thrown under the bus in a misguided attempt to fix a problem in her imagination. That helped me to heal fairly quickly.

[@lightskinninja9340]

I met someone at a festival over the weekend and we got extremely close. Honestly I've never bonded with someone the way she and I bonded. Then after the festival she ghosted and it's been a stressful couple days. I'm glad this video was here for me because I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. It's not really about me is it? It's more about her and what she has going on. If she hasn't learned how to properly communicate then a relationship with her would have been even more stressful.

[@silvana11221122]

Its emotional abuse by someone that doesnt value you

[@coalvarner1813]

The comments are so serious as well as the video. Theres a disconnect between this melodrama and me being accused of "ghosting" ppl off grindr. Can we decide on a real definition?? Like maybe being friends for more than 2 months or being comfortable enough with eachother to exchange numbers?? Cause as it stands strangers are picking fights with me bc they're entitled to my time and life but I'm a bad person if I never agreed to such things and their behavior is putting me off?? Idk I wish we would reserve this term for close friendships and such. Not everyone you match with owes you a winded apology and break up for existing online with you for a couple weeks.

[@lindaeasley5606]

My older brother has done this to me more than once. After a period of a fairly good relationship where we were in regular contact with eachother ,he suddenly stopped texting , calling and emailing me after I ran into an unfortunate situation when my water pipes busted from the extreme cold. It required family to help me get them fixed and he suddenly disappeared from my life 3 weeks ago

[@dedkupid4928]

It's worse if they call the day before they ghosted and tell you that they love you and we're still together. Then puff vanished. Then find out a week later that they broke up with you when you had to ask friends if she's ok.. then have that used against you. Like if hadn't said we're still together and I love you. And actually told me we broke up I obviously wouldn't of asked friends if she's ok ...

[@robenvilla1500]

I ghosted a guy who rejected me. I really liked him. i wanted space to get over my feelings for him and he wouldn’t give it to me. So I ended up ghosting him. We ran into each other a couple of years ago and he looked like a deer in headlights when he saw me, he turned around and went hiding. After a couple of times of running into each he muffled up the courage to approach me but he’s angry, you can see it in his face and hear it in his voice, I snub him and walk off. This frustrated him. He was following me on the freeway at one time for like 20 miles not letting a single person come between us. Imagine a guy who isn’t interested in you acting like this? Isn’t this weird? You like him but you know he would never like you but for some reason he acts like this? Tell me this guy doesn’t deserve to get ghosted.

[@polycrase]

Biggest B.S they tell you about ghosting is that it's not about you, but about the ghoster. It's a power move, the decision has been made and you are not important enough.

[@natashadickson4819]

You are still important. The ghoster is gone, so he/she is not important.

[@real_hello_kitty]

@@natashadickson4819 So hit and run is okay? The hitter is not important? You forget the "respect" element that is necessary to heal the human kind.

[@MelisJoy]

How is that bs? That just validates the point that it's about the ghoster 🤔

[@mariabrennan72]

It’s very true but you are important stay with people that love and respect you ❤

[@kassiapencek6185]

Wow this really makes sense how you explain it! I definitely struggle with this. This could be a whole series!

[@melodyskellington5009]

its great to move on from these types of people. most love praise, attention and have ulterior motives like wanting money from you. when they don't get praise from you that makes them feel good anymore they drop you. and its better to just stay away from these types of people. tons of people I've tried to befriend on social media. Im nothing but nice to them and supportive of their work be it writings or art. I like to keep in contact with and talk to people who have common interests. Then when they serial ghost I get fed up and want to move on. I am no longer putting myself on fire to keep others warm.

[@shalondraprather384]

Best content I’ve seen about ghosting, very mature outlook. Thank you

[@MrsD3Aer]

Good explanation, I am being ghosted by my sister. She got to devide the inheritance….and ‘poof’. This is now going on for 2 years. My lawyer doesn’t know about Narcism, as he just says to talk to her …DUHHH. But you are right, my Narcissistic mom could not communicate in any way. She could only give commands. And of coarse my sister was the golden child, she now learns her son not to communicate, lie, devaluate, and learning to give silent treatment…as that is shown by his mother (my sister).I’ve seen the ‘emotional incest’ with my sister and her son. It makes me see another life is destroyed. But the poor kid doesn’t have a clue.

[@PKProductionzBeatz]

I hate people that ghost me. I dont care about them anymore. Whatever hapens to them i dont care.

[@julie5668]

I think maybe something awful has happened to them and that's why I've had no contact since I last contacted them and we had a lovely chat. But equally, something awful could have happened on our end too. Ultimately, I would only ever fight for a child, and that's where I stand.

[@__Man_In_Black__]

Children are just future assholes.

[@larsbunch]

I have been guilty of ghosting a few women as I’ve struggled to learn how dating works. I didn’t like that about myself and now I push myself to communicate even though it makes me feel bad. Being a people pleaser with poor self esteem, you’d think it would be easy for me since I see NOT having to date me as a welcome relief to whomever I am dating.

[@Joelswinger34]

I am glad you stopped doing that. It really hurts to be ghosted.

[@McKinneyLiz]

the ghosted person suffers terribly... and some never recover. it's disrespectful. so you use adult communication to go through the closure.

[@theempress8947]

I have just come across this video....thank u so much for your insight into this horrible behaviour.....it has changed the way I look at being ghosted .......this has bn so helpful

[@katalinpuscas9722]

Thank you so much for these videos !!! I learn so much!! It makes sense!

[@jurupa3210]

Love your content, you deserve more subs and views!

[@jraa4560]

OMG this was Spot On!! Got ghosted like never before by a 26 year old. Hooked up , opened up. Red flags, never had a mom, dad was problem, and she only dates girls(lesbian) . Straight up Ghosted. Tons of issues, but when she did act like a straight woman , she was sweet and affectionate. Probably better i leave her issues to herself . Havent talke to her ina month and she lives about 500 ft away in the appartments next door haha. Oh well. I tried. and got used !!

[@1014SweetAngel]

I was ghosted. Just ignored. I hate him for doing that to me. It’s the worst feeling. But I know it’s him. Not me.

[@natashaleahbecker1276]

Thank you, that helped me find peace about my uncle ghosting me. Much appreciated.

[@dabreeze83]

I've recently been ghosted by my wife of 13 years. We've had our share of ups and downs but she has never simply just vanished like this. It's really got me hurt and confused, and honestly a little worried for her.

[@jamesrebbechi5247]

As regrettably harsh as this sounds she was never your wife it was just your time in the queue. I say that from experience . She’s the one with the problem not you. Move on and have a great life.

[@ayonticabanerjee8326]

Wife? Shouldn't this be considered a ground for divorce

[@user-wh5pl4ly9p]

They did you a favor by ghosting you. It's a form of abuse. Don't look back❤

[@johnbingaman3645]

They say the ghoster has no character and is a coward.. not to give you closure. First thing you think they were in an accident or something bad happened to them. They don't realize what they do to you when they ghost you.

[@Thetitschamnel]

I felt true love after 40. The best thing in my life turned out to be the worst thing in my life. He dogged me so bad, I ghosted. Moved, changed my number and never looked back.

[@Thetitschamnel]

😆

[@natashadickson4819]

Yep. I have no trouble ghosting someone who is unfaithful, threatening, scamming, abusive, manipulative, potentially violent, not willing to commit, etc. It's my life versus theirs and I'll protect myself by ghosting them, if necessary.

[@real_hello_kitty]

@@natashadickson4819 That is considered as "no contact" with a narcissist, and not considered as "ghosting". Ghosting is everything is happy, suddenly he/she disappears without explanations.

[@FuneralProcession]

If you got ghosted despite many attempts to talk it out calmly, leaving them and moving on, is not ghosting. Take care of yourselves and remember you are worthy to be loved and treated with respect.

[@corneliuswhite5139]

Okay, I'm putting it out there. As a loving and trusting child, I had a friend in elementary school (6 years old), who I called my best friend. We laughed, joked, talked about any and everything, we were inseparable! However, there would be times when he would be extremely jealous of me, and stop talking to me. I never understood why (until much later in adulthood). He was very popular, and because of that, he could persuade others to ostracize me as well. This would go on for weeks. Inside I would feel crushed and hurt, then after time, ice would break and he would start talking to me again. This went on and off from 3rd grade until the 5th. I didn't realize it until later that it was jealousy, but I found it peculiar because I shared everything with him. It wasn't until after I left elementary school that Irealized I was being manipulated. Fast forward to adolescence, I had developed a tough exterior to protect my feelings from others, so that this sort of thing didn't happen again. It was a behavioral tactic to protect myself. And throughout high school, I got along to get along, but kept the outer shell in tact. As an adult, I'm finally on my own (literally). Mother deceased, Paternal father, not present, then also deceased, and left with unemotional step father who married someone else 6 months after my mother dies. I started to believe that people weren't loyal, and therefore, why trust them. A simple thing like a friend saying on the phone, "I'll call you back," only to find that they didn't mean "right away," but when they felt like it. So, I adopted that behavior as well. As the saying goes, "hurt people hurt people," and what I long for is connection. If I don't feel it, or sense manipulation or possessiveness, I'm gone. I recognize this, and as a ghoster, it's really a fear of being hurt or rejected, or just plain "done this already...over it" and it does somehow have to do with fear, vulnerability and self esteem. Sometimes it has to do with the realization that a relationship just isn't going anywhere because of growth or different outlooks, and no one wants to argue or have confrontation about why something doesn't work, it's exhausting. I've been ghosted as well, but I learned to never question why. In my experience, I just accepted that there was something that the other person needed what I couldn't provide, and looking at it from both sides, I can understand that, forgive them, and myself, move on...and love them from afar.

[@mikedort]

Well said.... You have grown within and out. In your next life, you will not have learn this lesson again. Good man.

[@real_hello_kitty]

cornelliuswhite just because someone disrespect (ghost) you, then you make an excuses to disrespect and manipulate innocent people out there. huh.

[@Livinglovegoddess]

Afraid of real love! Now I feel sad for him!!!😂

[@johnbingaman3645]

I was ghosted 6 years ago. It was magical lots of chemistry, everything was throw the roof 2 months of dating romantic. Then kiss her Good night, never saw her again. I reached out about 4 days later, with no respon she went back To her ex-boyfriend. There's always somebody in the background. That's why you're ghosted. She was divorced twice and engaged twice plus she didn't have a father figure, raising her mother even told her she'd probably be Be single and never have a good relationship, her own mom. Plus she told me she was damaged. I see her about once a year 40 to 60 miles away. Bump into her at the most odd places.She will talk but never said I'm sorry. No apology, just whatever she is not with her EX anymore. That lasted another 2 years.

[@valerie4912]

Painful as fuck! An 18 year relationship came to an end by his ghosting. He’s ignored me for 4 months now. He’s in his 50’s Hardest thing I’ve had to try to get over ever!

[@cd-jk4rh]

liked this girl, we spent time together, she seemed happy to have me around based on what she'd say and do. one day she told me she was depressed so I dropped her off some flowers and a nice little note because she likes plants, just wanted to try and be up lifitng. next day she sends me a picture of the floor with no context, I was at the gym so I didn't reply right away, nor did i know what to say in response at that moment in time. She instantly texts back "great your not talking to me now fantastic, guess the flowers were a goodbye. never spoke to me again, never opened what I said. didn't delete me off snapchat or insta gram. we never had a argument or nothing.

[@melissa3986]

This was helpful, thank you!

[@cassondras1435]

That’s true we have to deal with issues in life even if its uncomfortable in all aspects of life… I’ve been ghosted twice by two people I cared about and the first one I never understood why and the second… was probably good for her to do it but I still cared. I got the impression both cared a lot and both text me a lot throughout the day and replied to me pretty quickly. So I found both situations of me being ghosted strange and unexpected. I could see if they replied slow or didnt reply all the time, but to those who are consistent and reply fairly quickly? Very confusing

[@Daram_]

😢 from now on, I'll only focus on myself...

[@missmelissa3573]

My husband handles every argument with criticism and ghosting - he talks enough to tell me I have issues, I created the problem, etc. and then leaves and doesn’t talk about it again - no resolution. I go quiet when I’m in pain after this. It goes against every fiber of my being because talking is supposed to fix issues but it seems to not work with him so I just shut down and wither inside. I am guilty of ghosting men who pulled away from me in the past - text messages slowed down, lack of communication while on a trip, etc. I figure they decided I didn’t measure up to some standard so I cease being flirty friendly and switch to being professional friendly - no texting, no affection, it’s done.

[@kieraneric2549]

Thank you, sir.

[@lovice43]

Great video. Thanks 🙏🏾

[@curlyhairdudeify]

I ghost people the minute some messages me with obvious se/xual innuendo, amd asks me "what I'm trying to do".... I'm like, "bye, we both know why we are here".

[@ChaiTogether]

Great stuff 🎉❤ Thank you 😊🙏🏽

[@sullymartin1343]

Best explanation I've seen 👏

[@karlhernandez617]

My family and I were ghosted by my sister. It hurt my son and to this day she has failed to explain even after reaching out. This helps

[@johnramos4715]

Is annoying when you get ghosted but they keep checking out your WhatsApp status .....that's stupid

[@Lubbocktexasmusic]

I believe this applies to my current situation. I believe the other person has difficulty communicating. I'm confused because out of the blue they will text me somthing positive. For now I'll not over think it and if they want to text me in the future... That's okay because I'm not going to make any investment in the relationship.

[@dan5660]

Been ghosted & it's difficult I would take a guess & say they either found out something about you they don't agree with or(more likely) they heard rumors not even true. Over a year for me, made closure and don't even know these folks anymore

[@accadacastkr4912]

I done a rant about being ghosted on my channel is a gutless act if you ask me, and the effect it has on the person being ghosted is detremental ,

[@sagrammyfour]

It seems to me there are different types of ghosting--the abrupt ending of a short term relationship, and the ending of a years' long relationship. One can heal from both, but the latter takes longer since the cut is much deeper.

[@starcatcher3691]

I am totally hurt, for more than a year, from a short term ghost. It was very painful

[@espartaco2028]

I only speak from an extremely aggressive dating life, before I was married. I did the Hello, I´m... for years. Ghosting in my experience is zodiac-explicable to a large degree. Aquarius, it´s a form of communication. It has to do with their phobia of lack of options and fear of caging. Aries do it because they think it´s funny. Geminis do it because they are cruel assholes. Those are the three ghosters accounting for 97% of all ghosting in my experience. And you know what? I'm incompatible as F* with all three so, I should have thanked them. These are the three which do one or two chat line exchanges and then, GONE! If you get further into it or were dating, the same can apply but, the variables increase.

[@bettywinn8296]

Thank you, Brad. He, past person, in two years of separation.he has ghosted me twice. The last time was 8 months ago. I set some boundaries IF he drcided to contact me, in the future otherwise I said we needed to go our separate ways and I have gone completely silent as I realized thete is no future with a person who is too unwilling to communicate now, how would he be in a long-term relationship? He is planning to try and reconcile but has "unhealed" childhood trauma" & like you said, he had parents who were horrible examples.He chooses not to heal, while I chose to heal during this time apart. Thank you, again for the message..

[@johnstapler5956]

Ghosting is entirely indicated when value systems are antithetical between the parties.

[@VinnyCarwash-js8op]

this makes no sense whatsoever.

[@lovelycommenter8205]

Thank you so much!

[@FeastofChamps]

This was explained very well