How to Handle Being Ghosted in friendship and dating

[@alexlittrell4591]

i really apprecited this video. I just go ghosted by my long term partner after a small argument and it really came out of left field. Your video helped me process that and I think move forward a bit quicker. Really solid advice. I love hearing you use anecdotal evidence. it made me feel less alone. Thank you.

[@flash_flood_area]

Excellent discussion, and the positive advice at the end is the path I try to choose with people.

[@Winner1-c2u]

If I am ghosted without an excellent reason, trust is gone.

[@CompostWatcher]

live well

[@seanrobinson6407]

Nothing to do other than move on and heal yourself. By its very practice, you are shut out. Move on and establish other relationships and stay healthy.

[@dbuck1964]

What isn’t healthy is to disregard the part of you that is actually wounded by these situations. Processing these kinds of emotional wounds isn’t about them, it’s for your own benefit.

[@NormaDemayo]

Moving on would’ve been easier had I not been staying in the garage of the home we rented, the one I once called home also what he arranged to pay for being for the past years I solely relied on him everything we had was under his name I never even new how much money he made. So I guess it serves me right everyday I come back here I’m reminded of how dumb and naive I’ve been

[@YolandaMarant]

This message has been really helpful because I was ghosted earlier this year, and it was incredibly painful. I was dating someone for over a year, and during my birthday week, they just disappeared. A week later, they messaged, claiming they lost their phone and would reconnect soon, but I never heard from them again. I reached out a few times and felt hurt and confused, especially since I had been supportive through their struggles. About a month later, I found out online they were dating someone else. I recently tried reaching out again for some closure, and just yesterday, as the day was ending, I discovered I had been blocked. It’s something I can’t explain, and it feels so disrespectful, especially since I was going through a tough time with the recent loss of several loved ones. Ghosting like this feels cruel, especially when someone has been part of your life for so long.

[@maharlikawarrior6625]

Your video helped a lot,.what you mentioned about how to go through being ghosted made a lot of sense. I know it's difficult moving on, but sometimes we need to prioritize our selves, our mental health...life is too short to be sad about one person ignoring us...Thank you...

[@05Sacredvalley]

I am no longer the same person after all the ghostings and being dismissed. I already carry wounds from childhood. I was emotionally neglected. I no longer want to have connections. I have now isolated because I will not allow anybody to treat me like this. NEVER again.

[@brianherrera4383]

Me too I got the same child hood wounds. Society is dysfunctional. Plus my family... it's best I go alone. I now got a somatic depression and I'm feeling all kings of pain Physically. Yet I can't really go and give a piece of myself to somebody that's just going to disrespect me and lead me to the dust and again and again over and over the same thing with other people that just don't value me or see me as a a soul and a body. I understand where you're going about giving up on this and best to focus on our own healing.

[@Nicole-Marie-y7j]

Long time,close friendships hurt the worst

[@PeterShaw-ne1yq]

If you don't expect much from them , when they give you less, you care much less ! 🤔

[@ChogTheGreat]

Had this happen once or twice by close friends. The ghosting would go on for months - I'd send something and no response for a few weeks to a month. When I finally had enough, I made my grievance known; on one occasion the friend apologised and began to disclose the absolute tragedy they'd been experiencing and that their mental health was terrible, the other occasion - I was the bad guy for daring to have my own needs and wants. Ghosting isn't a black and white issue, but one thing for sure - it is quite an emotionally immature way to manage relationships. At the end of the day, you can only advocate for yourself and communicate clearly when you want something. If the other people in your life don't value you enough to tell you what's going on, time to establish other relationships - they may be going through a hard time and you may feel a desire to care for them, but never forget: a relationship isn't all about one person.

[@jonohoffman5034]

This was good for me to see. I've had a number of friends... people I thought I had a deep connection with... people I've driven to mental hospitals when it was an emergency, just fall off my map. I hate it so much

[@cissijonsson8257]

I understand completely. Same thing happened to me the other week.

[@keishrs8]

This is one of the best videos about ghosting ive seen. Thanks so much !

[@anapark2833]

I have been ghosted by my best friend of 5 years. I need to see this again and again to try to understand their PoV. Thank you so much.

[@jenj3299]

I could never get over a betrayal from a former friend or partner, even if i wanted to. If they ghost, they've sealed their own fate. When they eventually try to come back, make sure you dont exist to them. Give them the same amount of consideration back, but forever

[@jeannieneuser5316]

How about this? You realize that other people are in your life, only as long as you are the one to do all the reaching out, checking in, making plans. So, you lean back to allow some space for others to make an effort in your direction. But they don't. They simply go on with their lives. And, their actions have shown that they do not want me in their lives. So, after a time of grieving, I went on with my life. I think, sometimes when we are hurt, we feel things as bring more personal than they really are. Just because the relationship was working for you, doesn't actually mean the other person was wrong to exit because it wasn't working for them. Sometimes, we have to get to know people quite a bit, to realize that it's not a match.

[@shawnmclean7707]

I stepped back from a group chat with close friends and convos moved from every day to almost once or twice per month.

[@Volkbrecht]

@@shawnmclean7707 But that's an ambiguous one. If you one-sidedly quit the established rituals of your friend-group, of course you'll end up as the outcast.

[@shawnmclean7707]

@@Volkbrecht well, there might be side conversations outside the group chat amongst themselves but there is still chatter every now and then that tells me otherwise.

[@theresalambert4438]

This is the best video I've ever watched on ghosting. I love the practical steps you help us move through. Especially creating a conscious framework in our mind how we're going to think of this experience moving forward. That way every time we think about it we don't have to keep reliving the pain over and over. Brilliant. And also how we will deal it ahead of time ,if we hear from them again. So empowering. Thank you so so much!

[@MarkusKasanmascheff]

A very simple way of dealing with ghosting: Give them 3 chances. Reaching out to clarify and/or verify (the ghosting) and then move on. Requires a lot of discipline and still hurts but is the safest and healthiest middle ground to not feel guilty about letting them go. Insisting on one end or counter-ghosting without a vulnerable attempt to clarify have very bad consequences for ourselves in the aftermath. Usually, ghosters have an avoidant attachment style btw. and they rationalize sth to justify it in their heads..

[@wathah323]

I have gone through this every 4-6 months and I have clearly asked why. They say, they got busy and too much happening in their life. How a few words on a text that takes 10 sec. to write is a big job? This is bull shit excuse. They simply do not care for you and come to you to use you.

[@schaubw1]

Listening to this brought up a lot of painful memories. Thank you for explaining why people do this.

[@ANGELSVEN]

ANY person who would do such a cowardly, disrespectful and immature act lacking in basic manners is not worth my time. A rise in ghosting/the silent treatment is a 21 c. behavior that has been tolerated way too much in the form of feeling victimized by the low character person who did it. Why be sad about losing a low character person from your life?

[@sbdsinc8366]

I have decided not to respond to a friends texts. I’m exhausted after propping her up in a very toxic and protracted divorce situation. I feel that she’s been taking advantage of my willingness to help her and be patient with her passive aggressively undermining of me. Is this telling a story that supports me as a victim? This video is making me think through this whole thing.

[@angelicahelen8039]

Why do ghosters not just block you? Why do they follow your social media? I would prefer to be blocked than be ghosted. To exist in my surroundings, but acting like I am not existing is the ultimate act of abuse and disrespect.

[@dbuck1964]

Have you tried blocking people who have ghosted you? Seems like an appropriate defense against their prying eyes.

[@victoriavargo7995]

Ghosted after a 9 year relationship & have spent the last 17 months day in & day out thinking about this person & what went wrong & what I could've done differently...I'm so exhausted at pretending everything is fine inside to the world & being a prisoner to myself & all the emotions...I just want to release all of this & get on with life & finally say FUCK IT, it's their problem on how & why they did it; they're obviously not worried about it & moving on with their life & I should be too. I don't care what their reason is, it's not my problem & I can't solve it. I probably hit the nail on the head several times & wouldn't know it anyway without communication & confirmation from them. Good luck in your healing journey & learn to love yourself more ❤

[@shawnmclean7707]

Power of now, Ekhart tolle, good luck my friend.

[@elisabetta4571]

I can relate to what you've been through more than I could ever explain with words. It is their problem, though. All we can do is partially try to understand their point of view, yes, but also avoid at all costs being completely sucked in by this process. I mean, try not to question yourself too much is my advice. It's their choice, they chose not to give us the courtesy of a closure. Mourn it like a loss, something you can't change, something you can only accept as it is, not really understand I mean, and by all means move forward to make yourself whole again.

[@clearwaterlanguagetraining4551]

Hi Victoria. Just saw your post! How are you feeling now? I hope you are in a better place!

[@NIELSBUNGER]

Great video! Brought tears in to my eyes but also gave me hope. Thank you

[@viliakers]

Thank you very much, I listened to the end and it was so good, I replayed some minutes..thank you, it gave me clarity and peace ❤

[@amelittaberretta9109]

Horrible experiences; silent treatment for decades, spooking with silent treatment and the latest ghosting. Finished by betrayal, living with someone, not telling me the truth, - continued to abuse me, with silent treatment, humiliating, stalking, ridiculing. All that together is devastating,God have mercy. It is traumatic. Particularly as an older woman, alone. I am so terrified of him, as he has broken into: my home twice. I do Not know where and who to turn to,I need help to deal with this trauma.

[@kathryngganderson8636]

You need to report him. To police, whatever authority you can. He is breaking laws and putting you at risk. Check out women's groups transition houses, etc. he could really hurt you. Not just mentally and emotionally as he already has. You can sue him, but not without a report. Keep a diary, what happened, how you felt. It helps with your health and your case. Stop taking it lying down.Scream, yell STOP IT NOW!! Take courses. Get help. You are not alone, almost every woman has had this. Be well sister!

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Yes and if more than 1 person ghosts us it will start to create deep selfdoubt ad if we are a burden etc..selfdoubt .I was ghosted by a catfish which was not all to personal since it was an emotional scam / player but now it's a friend who lately stopped replying or only hello very cold and distant .I'm ok with changes of season and he may be busy but I have felt like I depend on his grace to talk to him and I'm done feeling like this so I guess this is time for me to delete his nr and if he comes back tonprtow I have to move on and not instantly replying to him to let him know I'm there. I know I care about him, whether he is ok or not but he doesn't care about me. So. It was a 2 year contact and for him it was without caring. Just a way to kill time. He is fading and l texted him bye and take care. To give myself closure otherwise I will wonder if sonething happened etc.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

I read your comment again I'm sorry I know that feelihg of fear and as if nobody cares to protect you I hope you called a safe house who support victims of domestic violence. Report to police plz if you haven't done yet. Best wishes

[@pugninja7037]

I think nowadays people can't communicate. And we all do it.. its on them not my business..find yr own closure. ..move forward. Happy days , happy life x

[@MHarmony528]

Very good information. Was ghosted and then after running into them received an apology and had a short term connection of several months only to be "Gray Ghosted" before a Meetup. Very challenging indeed. He professed Love and Intensity for me then stated he met someone else. Yes, I guess it was the next shiny new thing. It's been a month and is still so unnerving. Had already followed some of the advice you shared already and grateful for the rest. Something so unexpected definitely shakes one to the core...

[@amelittaberretta9109]

it is a devastating experience. cut me off from Friends, so i am his captive, while enjoys a co;dependent relationship with someone. I was just a pawn for fun.

[@fruffers]

This is such good advice, thank you. :) I like the letter idea. My friend has ghosted me on off so many times and this time they never came back but we share the same friend group and I really am struggling with the idea of seeing them in person, I just don't want to see them anymore, even if I do I know they are going to ignore me anyway, I just wish I had someone else in my life that I could be close to so it wouldn't feel so bad but I don't think anyone really cares that much except my family.

[@cplkirk1]

Well done!

[@leighjacobs6125]

most insightful ever, I can listen to you for hours

[@AgnieRF]

Thank you very much. This was very in-depth and excellent and I think it will help me process my pain of loosing my friend/lover who appears to be ghosting or at least avoiding me (we have a complicated situation). I had drafted a goodbye letter to him for my own closure that I intend to send at some point, and l was glad I had good instincts as the letter is very much like you advised: honesty, vulnerability (about pain and anger) but also being grateful what he gave me, and wishing him well.

[@brianherrera4383]

I like this video and i subscribed it was helpful took the edge off with out liqueur..lol

[@dbuck1964]

Fantastic video, best I have seen on this subject.

[@clearwaterlanguagetraining4551]

Owen. Thank you. You are really funny, humble and heartfelt. Really relayed all my emotions and provided great techniques to move forward.

[@1-7-0-1]

Masterfully Explained, You're Absolutely Spot On!

[@holagirl]

Well explained. I wished I have seen this before I sent my almost last message to my ex! I wished I have understand his situation why he ghosted me, anyway I have sent him good wishes at the end. Thanks for the insights. This made me feel comfortable and understand the situation of a ghost person

[@kristina4395]

A guy and a friend i care about told me "im the shiniest person he met" and in the middle of the conversation he stopped answering and just blocked me like im trash or a person wirhout feelings, thats just cruel (conversation was about me telling him my worries and wanting to talk openly and get reassurance and see where he stands) 👀👀 the craziest thing is when we met he asked me "if you ever want to leave just tell me, please dont just dissapear".. and then he did it 😮😮😮 i said ofc i wouldnt coz i am not a rude or immature person, i would never hurt someone like that, not give any closure and not end in good terms .. and now im just supposed to accept this slap in the face and go on like nothing happened...? How hurtful 😮

[@arhayasallurea6654]

Thankful that was really helpful. I’m going to write that letter for my own self closure and then burn it with a weird concept that we have this kind of experience at this time on the planet I guess it’s all part of the digital age or some thing

[@jcontreras1736]

I get ghosted by my wife on a daily unless she needs something from me . Never says how is your day going ?

[@wathah323]

Bravo, very good explanation

[@codewarrior5229]

I've been ghosted more times than I can count. Seriously. At first it really upset me, but now I truly don't give a shit. 😂 I've just come to accept that this is how women "communicate" their disinterest these days. So I don't even trip... It's just done, done on to the next one! 🤷

[@anhpam9205]

Please be fair! Men do this too.Believe me, I have decades of experience!Age and stage of life seem to make no difference.

[@Krasavchik24]

Thank you for explaining of what I'm going through. I just realized why I got attached to a person on our first meeting. It was kissing. So we had a great time. He wanted to kiss and let him. I don't kiss people on a first day. I actually hate kissing. The last time I kissed someone was 9 years ago my ex. I don't know why I let him kiss, i guess he made me spark. It was amazing. He asked for my number we trade with our info. But he never reply to my text. I let him kiss by breaking my own law and this is what I get in return. Silence!

[@fairtaxguy60]

This was an EXCELLENT discussion! Thank-you! I "might" be in the early stages of being ghosted. How long of a time is considered being ghosted when I asked her on a first date?

[@gabrielandronache3217]

Brilliant video!

[@chamezme]

Thank you so much for this.

[@lindaread9838]

Really liked this...And loved that movie...❤d the grace you suggested to wish the person well 🙏

[@anapark2833]

I keep coming back to this. Trying to see the other person's POV.

[@jogriffiths5766]

My lovely support worker of 6 years became very physically ill, last June. Last week she changed her personal phone number, (although she had rung me just before she did so) but I didn't see that she'd rung for over an hour. She actually stopped working as a support worker for the same firm & now works in their office, but came to see me privately a few times this last 12 months. God I feel gutted. It's not her fault though. I know she's ill & prob burnt out.

[@NormaDemayo]

20 years and the man I loved was married too with children pulled this shit. Ridiculous so fucken mature yet he believes he’s going the right thing working on his own trauma and I deserve better but refused to talk it messed with my mental stability so much so I ended up in the mental ward meanwhile he bought me new furniture as a form of apology all along he had been dating going out with other girls denying everything to me wouldn’t tell anything just that he wanted space it took him a year to finally say fine I don’t want to be with you but he would still sleep with me

[@TP-vu3tc]

Go out and meet someone in person, then video chat or phone calls. NEVER text a stranger you have not met in person. You're asking for big trouble, you don't need in your life. I swear you will be more happy.

[@germelinalacorte3849]

huh. why write a letter to the one who's ghosting you?! just move on!

[@lauriepeifer7297]

or, you're just friggin done and care about your own mental health more

[@Alan-megan]

a sensible video at last... subscribed At 50, first time been ghosted semi/slightly eg 2 weeks no reply but still keeping options open on both ends. I wasn't ready anyways if I was to close in any further. But definitely not a pleasant feeling. N she herself emotionally perhaps not all well. I wrote her several messages yet to send.... Prefer to keep all options open. I'm reasonably ok looks and highly intelligent and funny according to her. I do have my ? on her honesty which I sensed hence afraid to pursue deeper stage. I find that most girls are reasonably mature and only young and not worth your effort type that ghost people. most women are not that immature.

[@RHill40]

Been ghosted by new found adult siblings.

[@decafmocha211]

I wish I could have listened to this 56 years ago...

[@rokljhui864]

You childhood memory of being ghosted, should of been: 'his childhood memory of being punched in the face'

[@CD-ct6fc]

Amen to that!

[@kenrowland7864]

Do it once...your didmismissed....Do it twice...your on probation....3rd time your deleted and erased, blocked and erased from my contacts....Permanently Buh Bye!!!!!

[@tonyarmstrong7141]

Everything you said about ghosting is true. Sometimes ghosting is is a tool to teach people how to become human beings. The chances are high that it won't work but it's worth a shot

[@rubikscube6722]

When you say “we’ve all ghosted at one point in our life….” Sorry but that’s not true for me. I don’t have it in me to ghost anyone. I’m sorry you did that at some point in the past but it’s not normal behavior at all