What Do Japanese Men Think About Dating Single Mother's? | Dating in Japan | REAL TALK ADVICE

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CoMic95

[@stinkmeister2287]

I love that he matched your outfit!

[@CoMic95]

Green is his favorite color. I don’t like green and I only got this dress so that we could match😂 I was happy that he chose this tie for the video instead of his silver or blue one that he normally wears 😄

[@lll8638]

He's got the voice 🙌🏾. I approve lol

[@CoMic95]

LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣 😭My momma approves too. Your seal of approval is appreciated 💝😄

[@CoMic95]

Please watch the entire video and listen to understand NOT to respond. This is a personal and sensitive topic for women. I thought it would be nice to get dating advice directly from a Japanese man OF VALUE who is actually married and experienced dating online and not some random Japanese guy who has no interest in getting married, can’t afford a ring, or that never really used dating apps just feeding you lies in a street interview etc. I also wanted to talk deeper about this which is why I made this video. This is real talk advice and not softened PC sugarcoated lies to make you feel good information. The purpose in this video is NOT to bash single mothers or childless men but rather it is to give real advice to women who have a child (or multiple children) that are single and longing for a serious relationship. If you REALLY want help and advice you need the TRUTH and not kind and soft lies. Please be respectful and keep in mind that while most foreign women in particular are honestly single mothers due to poor decisions that they personally made at varying ages with varying men, others are single mothers because they are divorced or a widow. The reality is that 99% of men don’t care about why you are a single mother. A child is still a child. It is asking for a lot to ask a man to date and marry you because he is instantly signing up to be a father simultaneously too. To add to this you are a foreigner with a child which is even more complicated. Likewise most women don’t want to play step mom for a man’s kids and they don’t want to deal with his ex wife or babymomma so you should understand how men feel. As a single mother in Japan you should definitely keep your guard up. Most men see you as an even easier target to get sex from. Dating is hard because most men will not talk to you once they find out they you have a kid already. It feels like you told him you had an STD. In my opinion I suggest being upfront about your child in your bio so you don’t waste your time but my husband disagrees and suggests that you leave this info out of your bio and reveal it after meeting so that they can choose YOU and not judge you prior to meeting you. He feels that you can change a man’s mind after you meet more easily than you can online and I can definitely see that to a certain degree. In my opinion I’d rather meet less men but of higher quality than meet tons of men and constantly get rejected after meeting due to having a kid. I personally never liked dates where a man revealed things such as his divorce or kids or even worse that he was still married! To me this is no different than a guy not disclosing that he is 260 lbs, 5ft 2, and works at 7-Eleven before our date. Men would also be angry if I pretended to be thin and then when they saw me I’m 300 lbs. in person. I understand my husband’s perspective though and I wanted his honest opinion. I don’t want to bash you about decisions you made or things that happened to you. There are other videos out there that do that already. My goal here is to help you work with what you’ve got and not scold you about what you don’t. Accept your reality and move accordingly. Please be careful out there! Dating is hard and even harder with a child but it is possible. You are free to try out both of our tips and do whatever works for you. Please watch the video to hear more. ONE MORE THING FOR MY HATERS IN ADVANCE (no one said anything but I am thinking ahead) English is not my husband’s first language so I am speaking in a way that is easier for him to comprehend. My husband is Japanese and he is a man so please also understand there are cultural differences in the way he speaks and his body language. Japanese people are not strongly opinionated and they aren’t very emotional when speaking. Eye contact is also not so much of a thing here either. He is NOT used to making videos so he was also a bit nervous and uncomfortable. Please cheer him on instead of playing relationship detective. I promise you I am secure in my relationship. Check my Instagram and look at my videos here on KZbin showing us go out on dates and shopping if you have any doubts about my relationship. I am well taken care of. I wrote all of this here because I KNOW someone will run with a narrative. Our wedding rings were in the process of getting cleaned and engraved which took a month so you will see several videos of us without a ring. As Patreon knows it was actually husband’s idea to make videos together NOT mine. As I promised you, my content won’t change. I will not be doing couples challenges and typical couples content. Instead I will add my husband as an addition to making the content I already made which is giving advice to help foreigners in Japan. We will do some fun stuff together but it won’t be a regular thing on my channel. We will instead just give advice regularly or talk about news and media here. I did several videos with him prior to this one but I edited this one first so please enjoy! If you have questions about Japan please feel free to ask them and we will answer in another video. Thank you for all of the love and support in advance! 💝

[@belmordok3661]

I don't care anymore what's sensitive for women and I don't have time to waste. What I needed is a piece of an information, not a swarm of useless ones. I haven't learned anything useful from this video, thus, have a nice day

[@CoMic95]

🤔Your whole comment is just a fancy way of saying “I can’t listen and I’m not smart”. We both literally explained exactly what the title of the video is. This entire comment that you replied to also summarized the video. Rub your two brain cells together and think. Look I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink. Take your short attention span problem, lack of comprehension, and useless comment up with Jesus and have a nice day 😉 Oh, and if you’re on my channel you most certainly DO have time to waste. So quit wasting it and start praying for help 😇 Thanks for the algorithm boost and video idea 💝🥰

[@munaosman7563]

Does your husband know that you are a KZbinr? Btw great topic 👍

[@CoMic95]

😄Yes he knew that this video was for KZbin! Thank you for watching!💝

[@cb361]

A massive but mainly forgotten factor for a man dating a single mother is that relationships fail. Losing a woman (or man) that you love romantically is bad, but it happens. It’s just the game of romance. Losing a child that you love like a father is a hundred times worse than losing a girl you love like a wife. A biological father can maintain contact with their child, even if he separates from their mother. But when a single mother separates from a man, he is immediately nothing to a child that he might love like a father. No contact, no visitation. He’s less than a dead beat biological father who walked out. If this scenario doesn’t terrify a single man embarking on a relationship with a single mother then he just hasn’t had the experience of fatherly love for a child yet.

[@CoMic95]

I’d have to respectfully disagree. I hear ya but this isn’t for this video. I am simply discussing dating to find a serious relationship. Keep in mind that this is Japanese thinking which isn’t quite exactly the same as some western men may think. Most women who have children complain about the difficulty of simply finding a date. Japanese men are a lot less willing to date women with children and most don’t even want to sleep with them even if you’re divorced a one night stand is not as easy to get. The least of their concerns at this point is how he might feel about the end of a relationship. The problem is simply finding a man to accept the baggage that you come with. Honestly I don’t think many men care that deeply about missing a woman’s kids especially at the beginning stages of a relationship. Of course if you were married or dated for a while then yes it can feel like you have a double void if you lost a good relationship but for most Japanese men I’d argue that attachment to a child that isn’t there’s is a rare thing. Only 2% of babies in Japan are born out of wedlock and divorce rates aren’t that high either. I should also add that I don’t think having kids deters Japanese men because they fear missing your child should you break up rather they don’t want to get involved with another man’s child and there is a stigma that if you’ve been divorced or have a child as a single parent it’ll likely happen with him. So yes it’s possible but without being PC the truth is that most men view single moms as used and damaged goods. They take her kids as a package deal but would prefer if you didn’t have them and their bond with your kids are no different than with your parents siblings or friends that they meet through dating or marrying you. Most men (same for women arguably) feel nothing towards and don’t miss them in the event of a breakup unless they were just truly good people and enjoyable to be around and did a lot for you. The reality is that most men want to be a woman’s first and ONLY experience when it comes to big life experiences such as having a child or getting married. The goal of this video was to explain how to navigate just getting into a relationship as a single mother. I can assure you that possibly 99.9% of Japanese men aren’t thinking about how much they’re gonna miss little Conor or Tyrone in the event of a breakup 😅 The same can be said for baby Taro too. I know it’s just TV but if you watch shows like “The Bachelor Japan” you’ll see how quickly their demeanor changes when they come across a woman with a child. They make up excuses similar to the one you gave (no offense) for why they can’t date a single mother when really they just don’t want the drama or the instant father lifestyle. I’m speaking bluntly here but I wanted to explain that this is very unlikely to be hindering single moms from dating seriously rather people think poorly of you and you’re seen as easier and less sexy and feminine than a childless woman. I wanted to help people understand how to date in this position and give them a direct answer about what most Japanese men think about them. A man with no kids will almost always care more about losing you than he will care about losing contact with a child that was never really his. Most relationships don’t end on good terms to begin with so for most they don’t care to see or think about you or your kids as it would also hinder them moving on with dating marrying and creating their own families. For example I would not be okay with my husband playing house at his ex girlfriends house because he had a bond with her kids (this is an example btw lol). If he loved her so much that he saw her as a wife he’d have married her so there wouldn’t be such a situation where he feels so deeply hurt about losing such a woman and her kids. I also don’t think Japanese men view her kids as his even if they date for years. This is for another topic but I should also add that I believe marriage is even harder to get and takes longer for women with kids versus without but that’s for another story. Lastly I’d have to strongly disagree. For most people your spouse comes first before your children and second only to God Himself. While of course you love your children even a step parent (especially not a person that’s just a date and not a legal parent) doesn’t have the same love and care for your child and definitely not in Japan. It’s more comparable to a work friend or even good in-laws. Most people don’t feel devastated and distraught after losing contact with them. You could even compare it to being a kindergarten teacher. It’s sad watching your students graduate and never seeing or hearing from them ever again but you quickly move on. Most men would rather just have their own children to begin with. I imagine their mindset is closer to “it was fun while it lasted” or “thank God I can stop playing step dad”. Every man feels differently on this but based on what most foreign women have said about their struggles with dating it seems that Japanese men simply don’t find them attractive or worthy of taking seriously overall. Some men definitely do care (exceptions exist for every rule and there is an endless amount of scenarios for this just as there is an endless amount of reasons for why someone is a single mother) about this but I’d argue that not nearly enough do for this to be a reason why they don’t want to get involved with single mothers in Japan. For anyone else reading this please understand that the goal in this video is not to discourage but rather to give a direct answer and advise people on what to do to find a good date here. I got this video idea after reading some posts some years ago in a forum from single white women who were struggling to get past the first few dates or to even get a first date once men saw that they had a child. They were instantly asked for sex or blocked or asked to pay their half of the date etc.