What Does Autism Feel Like (Part Three) Go Inside My Autistic Mind

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I take you inside my mind and share personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike
Watch Part One: • What Does Autism Feel ...
Watch Part Two: • What Does Autism Feel ...
⏱ Index:
00:00 - Welcome
00:46 - Autism Feels Part Three
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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (KZbinr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD
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⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️
Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[@olafmeyer4812]

As an autistic person, I feel that a strong sense of justice and higher moral values and honesty is something that everyone would probably appreciate in today's society. It really isn't such a bad idea. I love the video. I can really relate to it.❤

[@meadowrae1491]

We just had an "ice breaker" activity at work. It was all over Zoom. Later, my teammates were talking about how nervous they were to do individual introductions, that they had to think about what they were going to say about themselves. I then realized they don't NORMALLY have to do that. They were stressed about doing what I have to do daily for a few minutes.

[@need2connect]

Had a group of so called ‘friends’ i had like 5 questions they would never answer. They wanted to take me to the bar a few different tines. But they would get mad at me for asking 5 simple questions. Needless to say, i never went with them. I just needed to know what the first thing we would do when we got there, the general layout, what we were most likely be spending most of our time doing most, what they were drinking, and how are we traveling to/from.

[@arsenal4444]

@@need2connect just fyi, unspoken answer, in words, to all of those, is "we'll figure it out as we go"

[@avalbaneesplanade5122]

@@arsenal4444 and here I literately said that yesterday when what I meant was "Im blowing you off but its rude, so Im not commiting to a specific time or place because Im not going but I don't want you to know Im blowing you off." Additionally, I have to flip a coin everytime someone tells me "we'll figure it out" to decide if they're blowing me off or if they are bad at making plans or if they are busy right now but want to set a schedule later.

[@avalbaneesplanade5122]

@@need2connect I feel you. I never know what to do when going somewhere new or where to get on/off riding a new bus and I always want to stick to a schedule and everyone else acts like Im either needy or an idiot for not already knowing or impatient.

[@nicoleacosta586]

Lol!!!!!!!!

[@georgiagalaxy]

“I should just withdraw from everything except my special interests” this is literally what I’ve done for the past three years 😭😭 avoiding people on purpose in favour of online time and interests which comfort me! Strong emotions to no emotions - for a while now I’ve known for a fact that I only have two modes of being - super chill (uninvolved and “I don’t care”) to super hyper (HELL YEA LET’S DO THIS!)

[@bacchira1251]

Purpose, that's so true. A group lead of me once said " you always need a purpose (eyes rolling). Don't you understand, that most people in it just want to code." I couldn't understand, what he meant back then. Now that I identified as autistic, I understand. I am different when it comes to motivation. I am motivated when I see the purpose. I can't do anything, just because "it has always been done that way" or "x said it and he has a higher position".

[@sterlingarcher1962]

I never feel as normal as I do when reading through the comments on this channel. Feels SUPER nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with these things and feeling this way. I very much want to thank you all for sharing, seriously, thank you!

[@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

I have been feeling alone in the world lately, despite visiting my BFF every week. And there are so many reasons why, too! And feeling like I am bad at everything is just one of the many autistic traits that causes me to realize that there aren't very many people who I can talk to who understand my challenges (or the way I think). I have been feeling a little hopeless at finding my significant other. I have convinced myself that hardly any neurotypical men would understand me enough to feel compatible with me; and, well . . . I just don't see many Aspies around where I live (I would love to meet a male Aspie). Only by the miracle of God will that ever happen.

[@chuck.reichert83]

Not alone there. Many of us find it hard to feel like we fit somewhere, and feel alone for it. Focus on those special interests, you know your good at them. Give yourself grace. Tell your friends and family what's going on, they can help, and share content with them so they can better understand and help.

[@then35t18]

World's a big place, m8. I'm something of an autist myself lol.

[@sannyassi73]

I'm not too proud to admit that I just plain gave up on Dating or trying almost 20 Years ago. Every time I'd do the Sex thing [long ago] I'd wondered 'what am I doing?'- I was trying to be normal, doing what the 'normal' people do, it was mostly not enjoyable even if I was attracted to the person- it just isn't something I think about and that made Dating even more tricky- was kind of like being an Actor. That was all before I knew I was autistic. I have my 2 Cats now and I love them more than anything. It's a bit lonely, I've gotten used to it though it's not the type of loneliness that being around others can help with- I'm an Alien trapped on a World full of Humans, being around people actually highlights it a lot and can make the loneliness worse- Damned if you do, damned if you don't. This whole existence thing is kind of ridiculous. I hope you find what you're looking for ;)

[@yourmom2189]

@@sannyassi73 I very much resonate with what you wrote. I’ve also given up on finding a life partner. And I often feel like an alien. I am excited about acquiring my feline friends in the future though! 😋

[@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

Yeah, dating just doesn't go at a normal pace anymore. People usually don't really let you get to know them before they want to jump in the sack. You don't even get a chance to see if they are truly a good person, or just faking it. But that usually reveals itself after at least 2 months, sometimes 3!

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

I was having a difficult day when your content appeared and you had me laughing out loud with your strong emotions section - so beautifully edited and so funny cos it’s true 😅Love your work Orion, you really lifted my mood today ✌️💕🌻

[@orionkelly]

I’m so happy to hear that!

[@DeathByApplesauce394]

my sense of justice absolutely overrides my social anxiety, and gets me into some awkward situations! I was once at this crowded dance party (how? why? idk) and I saw a man speaking to and touching a woman in a way that didn't seem right. and she wasn't smiling. so I got up in there and asked her hey, are you with this guy? she said yes, why, do you think he's hot? 💀 and I had to explain that I wanted to check just in case. there was nothing bad happening but she was so grateful that I spoke up. she thanked me multiple times that night! I just knew that if I hadn't said something, I would have been haunted by the thought that I could have been a bystander to something horrible.

[@kayjay-kreations]

Wow so spot on and then people say you are depressed!!!!! And you have to explain, no I know what depression feels like, I am not depressed, I am fed up.

[@WilliamAlanPhoto]

I am so appreciative of your ability to qualify and quantify these traits. Seriously. Thank you. While I agree with, and have experienced most of these points (except imposter syndrome); Twice during this video, I actually had to stop it, and just breath until I was no longer in shock that someone had said it out loud. Details! I can not agree to ANYTHING, until I have sufficient data to participate. I must know why we are doing something, before I can commit to it. My super strong sense of justice has plagued me in every single working scenario in my life. I am definitely the only one who cares. OMG>>> Thank you Orion. You are appreciated. Another trait that I experience, is that I know these things, but when the opportunity comes up for me to explain this to anyone, I go completely blank.

[@Nate-BreakingPoint-Interactive]

My most frustrating trait is going blank on subjects that I have a lot to say about. Happens way too often so I usually write things out and rarely ever attempt to have a vocal conversation when my mind is behaving like that.

[@MrAtheistQueen]

You speak the truth, brother! This has been my experience, too, but you say it so succinctly. You have such an effective way of describing the raw vulnerability of our condition. Thank you for raising awareness the way that you do! (Not that you could do it another way if you wanted. LOL!)

[@themekfrommars]

I found this video quite hard actually. You have described my experience very closely.

[@SoraStrifeheart-wn5zh]

As someone who experiences autism Imposter syndrome on the daily, it's more than refreshing to know that it's a shared experience. I was beating myself up so much about it, consistently.

[@diegulamondigimon1688]

Oh. My. GAWD. I try to not scream at my screen because I can actually relate to every single one of these- And I would constantly pause to talk about it, talk to myself as if I were to talk to another person about how I can relate to that, sharing my own personal experiences- unfortunately, I stopped as my father came in.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

"Autism feels like you can't do anything right." This past week was particularly bad for me when it comes to this. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. 🙁

[@pogofuzz]

❤I resonate with this experience. Sending you love and light across the universe.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@pogofuzz 🙂

[@racheloldridge4986]

Everything you say makes so much sense.

[@lost_boy]

Is anyone else that one middle-aged uncle (or aunt) who is the only one in the family that just "doesn't have their sh*t together"? I feel like a 12 year old stuck in a middle-aged man's body and life, constantly battling to just be an adult and even on my very best day, just barely making it. My cousins and brothers all own property, own cars, have children of their own, and successful careers. Financial investments too. And then there's me, a middle-aged loser who's spent all of their money over the past few years building a little studio in the spare room of my rented property because making music is my special interest. And now I'm broke. I feel like an absolute failure most days.

[@Catlily5]

I feel like you up until the studio part.

[@lost_boy]

@@Catlily5 you can swap that part out for whatever special interest you have, although from what I've seen most other autistics, their special interests aren't quite as expensive lol

[@Catlily5]

@@lost_boy Yes, true. Sorry that you ended up broke. Luckily my interests are cheaper because I am on disability.

[@DryadsBounty]

Oh my goodness, Orion?! You made me burst out laughing! This multiple exposure of snapshots into the experience of what autism feels like is fabulous💚 “What’s the point?!” I hate hate hate repeating myself…but “people” still want an explanation 🙄 Just because you have a title doesn’t mean you are an authority…let alone over me. And I will question you until I understand you. Thanks for this💚

[@vanessavaughan]

Brilliant video. It's so weird when someone you have never met describes you. I would love to share it with my family, but that would not go well.

[@ghostofmybrain]

I love this series you're making. I've never felt so validated.

[@julieellington1480]

Wow, this resonates so much, I have not been diagnosed but this is pretty much me down to a tee.

[@Lenneeful]

I identify with this one hundred percent. I'm always amazed how neurotypicals can just let things slide.

[@stevepremium2612]

Hitting the nail there mate. Greetings from Germany.

[@azureruiz78]

Very validating, and relatable. Thank you for sharing and articulating your experience. You are not alone!

[@Star_Rattler]

4:48 reminds me of a story I heard about this. autistic people need reasons why to do something or they will logically reason not to. were often logical and if we don't see the need we won't. we need to be told why so we can know and then further reason. the story goes like this: when someone was a younger kid their mom told them to stop leaving the window open when it rains. they didn't want to, so they didn't listen. mom gets frustrated. mom: you need to close the window when it rains! kid: why? I like it open. mom: because the rain will get inside!! kid: .....DUH! mom: when water gets inside it can create mold on the window sill, walls, curtains, and carpet! kid: ....oh. ok. [closes window] all it took was more information.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes😊

[@Stormbrise]

Funny, I was having imposter syndrome listening to this video at times. I am working on Justice all the time, I get so upset if I see someone breaking a rule or a moral compass value I have. I have listened a lot to the Daily Stoic and just trying not to have an opinion on everything. Really hard. I slip a lot here. Thanks again Orion for being so open.

[@sterlingarcher1962]

Thrilling to hear I'm not the only one with these issues. Thanks for sharing this!!!!

[@sannyassi73]

I've watched a lot of your videos. For me, this is the best one so far.

[@silverymoon5516]

I really appreciate how much information I learn from you with each and every video.

[@kuibeiguahua]

It really is a gift to mankind, at least, English speaking mankind, I mean, English speaking peoplekind!

[@IndridCool54]

Thanks so much for this. I hope you know how much you’re helping people. I’m 68 years old and am just realizing that I fit into this amazing spectrum. I discovered this by chance when I happened upon one of your videos. I’m forever indebted to you and now you have described how it feels perfectly. 🙏🏼

[@dianorrington]

Thank you. Needed this so very much today. I found myself saying 'yes' out loud to my laptop/you after nearly everything you mentioned. Thanks for expressing what I am too tired to express today. And for reassuring me that it is in fact them, not me. It's not my fault that they do not understand. So tiring! ;)

[@CatsandHatsCrochet]

Oh man the part about justice… yesssss

[@thebigfishstick]

This video explains what I can’t describe to others. Thank you

[@kracklinkamphyre7142]

Yes. Thank you! I have no one around me that understands our who I feel like I can talk to. These videos help me not feel alone.

[@SamLovesMovies25]

(diagnosed autistic as an adult) Almost all of these ring so true for me as well. Especially the first one, ALL the time with anything I try, it just feels to me like no matter how much I practice and try or whatnot, I just CAN'T get better and I just can't be good at anything and I'm just so bad at everything and just messing everything up. It's so frustrating and disheartening... :( And as for mistakes or forgetting something or whatnot, yeah I actually often DO get outright accused by others of doing it intentionally, when it's not. I keep trying and TRYING to explain to people, such as my parents, how I NEED exact detailed instructions, and why this task/chore makes sense to me that it has a purpose of doing it, while this one does not seem to have a purpose or make sense to me. However they just keep insisting that "no you DON'T need that" or "you're just being ridiculous" :( the things about emotions are also very true for me. One good thing, though, is that my parents actually ARE supportive of my special interests, at least to a degree (my main ones are movies and classic rock music). Mom will watch movies with me and has even become open to watching things like foreign/"artsy"/very old movies and such, and she's gotten some appreciation for the classic rock music I like, while Dad just also likes that music anyway lol (they even went to see Queen, my favorite band, The Rolling Stones, and The Who in concert with me, which was very special and awesome). I just really wish that they would be supportive in the OTHER areas as well, instead of being un-supportive...

[@readthebook55]

Thank you for describing how I feel. There is so much in your video that I watched it a second time at 0.75x speed to understand it all.

[@egodeathalone]

Yes! ALL OF THIS! I feel all of this in my soul! It's why I have no friends, will be single for life and have no one to have meaningful back and forth conversations with. I yearn to find someone to converse openly with and have the feeling be mutual. I'd love to be able to talk with another human comfortably. To converse the way I'd naturally talk without censoring myself, without anxiety, without feeling strange and like I'm only annoying or bothering who I'm talking to. I'd love to experience engaging conversations without judgements, lectures, awkward self-consciousness, or needing to explain myself or defend who I am and what I feel inside. I crave to be able to do that so badly, probably more than anything else in life. There's only one person that I can be my genuine self around. Only one human I feel I could tell anything to, whom I'm able to act like my true self around without masking or being judged for being my authentic self. But that person is my non speaking son whom I've been raising solo since before he was even born and he can't talk back to me. Plus he's getting to an age I can no longer just talk about whatever I want since it wouldn't be fair to him or good parenting. It's an incredibly isolated and lonely existence

[@Catlily5]

You are making a lot of assumptions. It is harder for us to make friends or have relationships but not impossible.

[@egodeathalone]

@Cat Lily My experiences, feelings and opinions regarding my personal life are not assumptions. Every autistic person is different. Neurodivergent along with neurotypical people all experience life differently and face unique situations. People should be allowed to feel what they feel without being invalidated or judged...which was a large point of my comment. In 38 years on this earth I've not yet been able to make a true friend. And I have the advantage of being able to speak. My non speaking child gets mocked and stared at by almost everyone, anywhere we go. All the neighborhood kids exclude him in playing, even if he goes up to them they just pretend he isn't there and don't talk to him. He should be able to play outside with all the other kids but since he can't speak and kids are mean the only person who will play with him and talk to him is me. And here I am having to defend myself on the internet to a reply from a stranger telling me I'm making assumptions about my own personal experiences. I was speaking for myself and venting about my feelings. Maybe someday I'll have someone to talk to who will become a true friend but it hasn't happened yet. And as a solo single disabled parent to a disabled child whom I spend 24/7 with and no one to watch him, dating is impossible for me. The inability to be able to go out on dates means I'll remain single. To have a relationship potentially develop would require dating first and finding people to date was difficult enough before I became pregnant. I'm also dedicated to taking care of my son and if I need to do mostly everything for him for the rest of my life I will. A relationship would take away from that and I will not neglect my child. I refuse to put him in ABA therapy or send him to live in a residential home like I've been told by "professionals" to do. Maybe have some compassion instead of trying to tell me I'm making assumptions while speaking about my personal opinions and 38 years of life experience. Every situation and person is different, please try to be mindful of that. Thank you and have a nice day.

[@Catlily5]

@@egodeathalone Feelings are not assumptions. Thoughts are assumptions. Lots of people assume we can't make friends or date. Even you could some day. I shouldn't have used the word assumption. It sounds too harsh. So I apologize for that. I hope your life improves.

[@knowhere60]

I really wish that you find someone like that. You deserve it. 🥲

[@lunamoondrop]

i feel every single word ♥️

[@NeuroDeviant69]

My eyes are filled with tears as I try to see my keyboard and type. lol. Justice. Dude. I have always felt this immense, deep, ANGER when something isn't 'fair' or is 'unjust'. Like bright red rage and fury. I have always wondered why I feel this way. I am right smack dab in the middle of discovering that I am Autistic and this is just another one of your videos helping all the puzzle pieces rest into place. Thank you. ❤🤘

[@themindseyecmh]

I'm not diagnosed, but i suspect im on the spectrum..every point you made on these 3 videos is me to a T.... in fact about 95% of all your content describes me to some degree..... Great work, keep it up!

[@amandamandamands]

This video I feel so seen, late diagnosed so have some days where I question it especially as I am someone who 'passes' in lots of situations. Hearing all the things and going yes yes yes it does give something to relate back to the next time the imposter syndrome comes around.

[@goldeneaglejk2678]

Love the shirt (and video). That is my summer “Friday” shirt, I must have a dozen like it. I wish my therapist would stop pointing out my black and white thinking!!

[@timmcdraw7568]

I ordered your book and have been pouring over it. It is, hands down, the best book ive ever read on the topic. I am amazed. Your articulated the internal experience of autism, at least from my perspective, perfectly. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[@orionkelly]

I’m so grateful to hear that.

[@bobbyb9718]

I feel like society is a giant Venn diagram and I’m constantly in one of the spots where none of the circles overlap.

[@AJB_twoleftwings]

I want more videos like this one. I was recently told by my therapist that I should consider getting diagnosed for autism. It came as a complete surprise to me at first, and even as I do research and realize how much I relate to, I struggle with imposter syndrome, and it has made the whole process really confusing for me. It was nice to watch these three videos about your perspective as a diagnosed autistic person, and it feels good to know how much I really DO experience a lot of the same things. In fact until these videos, I honestly didn’t know some of these things were not normal.

[@jamesmilne4233]

Dude, thanks so much for posting these three videos. Both my sons are Autistic, but having said that, at ages 20 and 25 you would probably struggle to find two sibblings on the planet with less in common. You have clearly articulated things in a way that I can grasp (from my ADHD perspective). I've subscribed to your channel, and will rewatch this series every couple of months because (a) my memory for this sort of thing is s**t and (b) the world they inhabit is different from mine, and constant reminders of the specific issues will hopefully make me a better Dad. Thanks again.

[@delilahhart4398]

I think that questioning authority is the only thing that makes sense. Nobody is infallible, regardless of their position.

[@sarahrenee5901]

Honestly I feel the same way. I always make the same mistakes and sometimes I just want to give up. Having to explain myself over and over again. I appreciate you bringing awareness ❤️

[@faye8236]

personally my autism feels like a record player, if you aren’t careful it’s gonna start making real weird noises

[@martynmitchell8569]

Yep, I think you just about nailed it 100%

[@marionnieder1655]

Oh, wow! You can talk really fast! 😁 But I understood, and that makes me happy. I improve my English (special interest) by watching your videos. And thank you for your explanations. The point with the authority... I lost every single job in my life and never knew why. I guess that was the reason besides not being able to keep up the mask all the time. I think my bosses always thought I wasn't respecting them. Actually I did, but, well, I wanted to know WHY I should do this or that to make it perfect. And I always had some good ideas to add to their plans or to make them work better,, but they never wanted to know. 🙈 (Exept the one boss who was autistic, too. We worked perfectly together. But then my co-workers mobbed me out.)

[@StephensonRaceTech]

SPOT ON! Thank you for the video, this is exactly what its like.

[@susanbennett9293]

So enlightening! At the same time what about someone who parts away from the special interest and wonders why they’re alone and doesn’t think about consequences of withdrawing from the world and she or he is left behind. No sense of time or planning and the responsibility is on the NT people. Can you help me to deal with this blindness!!!

[@reneedwards1082]

I havent been officially diagnosed but this is all of me at 55. But there is no one who understands. Like im this rebel but actually im so caring and loving but struggle to show it.

[@michaeldearden876]

Love your precision! Shared this with my neurotypical wife.

[@ninjarebecca5045]

Thank you for giving voice to so much of how I feel!

[@gtptvanbuuren3795]

Appreciate the series. Enjoying my autism. Have fun and take a risk..........Tim

[@lizardme88]

I love how you incorporate humor. I have a question, can a spouse be a special interest?

[@bobsoldrecords1503]

Preach brother, preach!!!

[@lolatJESS]

Okay, well, first off, your videos helped guide me through a couple of month's long diagnosis journey while I waited on a list. Turns out I'm both Autisic and have ADHD. Went in to see if I had either, did not expect both. Secondly, I'm only 3 months into a recent diagnosis. The first few minutes, I was bawling my eyes out with how accurate this felt. Especially today, where I was feeling like I was having a good social day, and felt like I messed up near the end of my day. And all week I've been feeling just utterly bad at everything, but equally feeling great about my special interest, but also feelling really bad at it and just want to give up while also fighting this need to finish the task that leaves me not taking care of my well-being until its finished 🥴, feeling isolated, like I'm an imposter....and I even feeling like a weirdo or an odd one out after recently being with a group of people at my new job mixed with ND and NT people. Oohhh...look at me....explaining everything again in a long format....even I hate this about myself. The anxiety that I'm saying too much and no cares. Anyways, your video made me feel better tonight, and that's why I cried so hard. Thank you for making me feel not so alone. 🙂

[@raygipson8896]

Very relatable video. Thank you.

[@sterlingarcher1962]

Anyone else ever get this? I have both autism and brain damage. My absolute favorite thing is when people downplay these issues. When they tell me most people are on the spectrum or yeah I've got brain damage too. Way to make light of serious things. Like it's even easy to admit these things to people in the first place.

[@need2connect]

I have autism and am so annoyed by people. They don’t even want to spend the time to read a 2 minute article, To learn what they are talking about. They would rather declare opinion as fact then fight you when they realize that you know they are wrong.

[@calebpoon9599]

"Sorry, I'm just tired." "Sorry, I can't multitask and so I didn't catch what you just said." "My apologies. I'm all fingers and thumbs." "I'm terribly sorry. It's too noisy here. Could you please say that again (for the 4th time)?" "Sorry, I have a headache." "I'm sorry I'm a bit slow. Could you please be more specific?" ... Anyone with me?? Took me years to try crossing a trafficless street on a red light (where there's no law enforcement and even people around). To be honest, I still struggle with it, as if I need to kill a little bit of myself in order to accomplish such simple rule-bending. I guess we all have to learn to adapt one way or another. Rigidity and flexibility aren't always dichotomised. The bamboo is stiff, but it can also sway in the wind.

[@DWSP101]

I feel you friend.

[@Roosiepo]

Thank you for this. I was diagnosed at age 42 and this resonates so much..

[@isabellefaguy7351]

From my experience, we need to re-explain all the time our deficits, differences and needs, not because they don't understand our explanations, but because they don't believe that someone could possibly experience life differently or have a different brain.

[@isabellefaguy7351]

I also agree that we very often feel like nobody else cares if justice is served in every situation.

[@fabiogfranco]

Chatgpt summary: In part three of his series "Autism Feels," Orion Kelly continues to share his personal experience as an autistic individual. Here's a point-by-point summary: 1. **Feeling Inadequate:** Kelly describes waking up feeling like he is bad at everything, despite having high-level skills in certain areas. This leads to a sense of futility and the impulse to withdraw from all but his special interests. 2. **Social Challenges:** He feels that his social mistakes are often perceived as intentional, adding to the distress of already difficult social interactions. 3. **Constantly Explaining and Justifying:** As an autistic person, Kelly finds himself repeatedly explaining and justifying his actions, often feeling misunderstood and misinterpreted. 4. **Feeling Like an Imposter:** Particularly for those diagnosed with autism later in life, there's a sense of imposter syndrome, feeling as if they are not truly autistic. 5. **Unusual Interests:** He feels that his passions and special interests are often viewed by others as weird, unusual, or boring, leading to a sense of isolation. 6. **Need for Details:** Autism for Kelly involves a deep reliance on and interest in details, needing to understand the why and how of everything. 7. **Executive Dysfunction:** He discusses the challenges with executive functions, feeling disconnected from the typical flow of time and space, and struggling with tasks that neurotypical people might take for granted. 8. **Extreme Emotions:** Kelly experiences emotions at extreme levels, either very strong or not at all, which complicates his ability to communicate his feelings to others. 9. **Questioning Authority:** He naturally questions authority, social norms, and rules, driven by a need to understand their purpose and motivation. 10. **Strong Sense of Justice:** Kelly feels a compelling sense of justice, unable to ignore what he perceives as right or wrong, regardless of the situation or who is involved. By sharing these insights, Kelly aims to increase understanding, acceptance, and appreciation of the autistic community, highlighting the unique perspectives and experiences of autistic individuals.

[@NudePostingConspiracyTheories]

Holy crap.! I had no idea

[@SDR-fj7on]

New video opening, Orion? Looks great 👍

[@erikavaleries]

Thank you for this series 😊

[@ladyblackburn]

This whole videooo!!! Yes Agree Uh Huh!

[@14misty1]

✨Exactly!✨

[@vaasnaad]

Thanks again, Orion! These all apply to me but I'm just now figuring it out and associating it correctly. Up until I started sharing coping mechanisms with my kids (which a neurotypical person doesn't have) and finding this channel and your wonderful content, I actually thought I was... well in a word, insane. You are wonderful!

[@SatansWerewolf]

Thank you for making these 'feels' videos. So much of these apply to me across all 3 vids and I've gotten more out of these vids than all you other ones so far. (Love all your vids, by the way :) )

[@terrimeakin-rosario9189]

what do you mean you dont know how your feeling? why are you so private about your thoughts and feelings, why cant you just share, whats going on with you, why so "grouchy" or "distant"...i get it constantly. i actually shut down for about three months this last time. too many variables. i had a teast done and then needed more tests to find out if i was going to have to battle cancer. i found myself actually attracted to a person that might or might not like me back(reverting to years, before i was unfortuneatly married for a time) , my child having a difficult time giving birth to my grandson, yada yada. the worst one i think is everyone asking me arent i so happy i have a new grandchild. hey, the DUH truck just pulled up . but since i cant show my so happiness im just an unfeeling ..whatever. if only they could see my soul shine.

[@peteracton2246]

“'I can't explain myself, I'm afraid sir', said Alice, 'because I'm not myself, you see'. 'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.”

[@andrecibis]

Well explained. I totally agree

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

So relatable!

[@kathymiller2551]

Mailed it!!

[@WizardKitty723]

Thanks, Orion

[@delilahhart4398]

One reason why I don't do much is because I feel incompetent. I feel that matter what task I take on, I'll do it poorly, so there's no use in trying.

[@turtleanton6539]

I get this alot😊😊😊

[@1997Jeep]

Have you ever wanted to ask the people around you which rules apply today? To me, it always seems like when you point out that someone is breaking a rule, they get upset that you're pointing it out. To me this feels like a misdirection from the fact that, this person is choosing not to follow the rules. I believe in being fair, if it's a bad rule, let's remove it.

[@Nutellochka]

Amazing, thank you!

[@jbrownson]

This is really good

[@LunaHusky805]

Thank you for the content.

[@BuckarooBonzai]

Thank you.❤

[@rogermoore8048]

I understand , I feel the same.

[@paulalentz8272]

thank you

[@pocketwatch6648]

I loved this video

[@peteracton2246]

Spot on Orion. Brilliant. I sometimes get a false sense of security (momentary of course) and then revert to realising that even my family and close friends don't and never will understand me. This makes me feel isolated. As I now have quite a few decades this isn't as scary and sometimes I can revel in my self-defeat. Poetry on a Monday;- kzbin.info/www/bejne/gHabpZSFjM-JmMU I wipe a tear or two!

[@myworldautistic6839]

Yes yes yes!!!!

[@blueviolets2022]

This is me so much it's scary.

[@KennyOmegaTBBM]

Great video

[@neryshart]

Oh my gosh. I thought the ongoing explaining was just me because I fail at explaining myself every time. I did think why can’t the few people in my life I do interact with and need to explain constantly and try excuse myself to try to remember because I’ve also said it’s very hard and embarrassing to have to say in the first place. Yes right and wrong , it’s really hard and why is it that I’m the only one who seems to care 😵‍💫

[@WoodshedTheory]

umm these videos are incredible dude

[@orionkelly]

Thanks mate! I appreciate it.

[@nkleeman07]

OMG, I keep doing this, I keep reading things and learning new things, and learning the official names for the symptoms i have, and then i keep thinking, maybe im not autistic, maybe i was wrong, the shortly later....im like oh nope there is it, my ole friend tism.

[@autisticexpressiongenx]

this helps . righton OK

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

Thank you for this series

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

I did have imposter syndrome ... diagnosed at 41. I'm about to turn 42 and now I have dropped masks enough to see I'm obviously autistic.

[@AleksPTA]

@@CherrysJubileeJoyfully well done on having the courage to find out your truth I am the same age as you, I am learning via my eldest son but no way am I looking into why I am the way I am

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

@Aleks V I understand that and totally respect it. I only need to know I am like this cause I have my papa's brain. And that makes me so very happy.

[@knowhere60]

Its true, from the moment I wake up, I'm anticipating that somehow I will, dissapoint, anger, or frustrate my partner, no matter how hard I try to fo thr opposite. Its something I said...or didn't say, something I did...or didn't do, or an "inappropriate" response, should I be happy, sad, sympathetic, outraged, etc. ?

[@danielaruhl1710]

❤

[@Bob-ln1jh]

Exactly

[@pogofuzz]

Orion where do you get those awesome shirts! I’m in desperate need of one. I particularly love all the various patterns with the monstera leaf.