What Does Healing Really Mean?

[@doune4384]

Boy did I need to here this today. After being off Xanax for 4 and a half years, I find myself for the last week and especially today in a bad wave, reminiscent of what I was going through years ago. I am so glad you are feeling so much better and thankyou from the bottom of my heart for continuing to make videos. I relate to you better than anyone else I have watched. Please continue to make videos and thankyou once again for what you are doing.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Waves can happen. I Always felt a little better after a heavy duty one. Thank you for watching and being supportive!

[@lonnievisch6009]

How are you now??

[@Nick-gq2iy]

I totally agree with you about healing. 💎 Thank you, Angie. 🙏🏼 Always in your corner! Grateful for your kindness to us all as you answered our questions after watching Medicating Normal. Big Love to You! ♥️- Cynthia

[@McStorch0]

Great video. I’m about 90% healed and helping a few people through. They INSIST they will not heal. It is a symptom of the injury. I had it too. I always said, if Jesus, Allah, Buddha and mother Theresa came down in front of me and told me to relax, I would heal, I’d never have believed them. It’s a symptom. We do heal.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

yep it sure is! I tell the people I help the same thing. I would say it's the most common symptom.

[@Jwks91]

Is your success story posted somewhere?

[@debrag.3900]

Angie, I just love your channel. I am not healing from withdrawal, I am healing from lyme disease. Many many similar symptoms. I look forward to continue keeping up with your videos. Thank you for what you do.

[@michelleauvil86]

Im coming up on 4 years next month and i really needed this. I am trying so hard to just get some life back and get on my life but man, every time i attempt to do anything as a normal person i get slammed with a huge wave!

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

those waves will get easier to ride. Just hang in there. Your time is coming!

[@maryogle6865]

Hang in there!! You can do this!! It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I too still struggle but it gets better! Xoxo

[@manikmultimedia]

My healing journey began over ten years ago when I came off high doses of klonopin in 2013 in only a few months. I was put on many other meds to help “manage”. Unfortunately this has inevitably dragged out this withdrawal to over ten years. I’m now 19 months off my SSRI, and I’ve tapered my gabapentin to a much lower dose and holding while I taper another drug. I will say I’m on FAR less medication than I was, and the journey has been hell, but I’ve gained such inspiration watching you gain your life back! I’m an extreme case, so when people say it’s taken ten years or more, remember there may be other meds involved as well.

[@georgios4891]

Great video, so sincere and relaxing words, these videos sort of keep me company. Even though intrusive thoughts are tormenting, I keep moving forward, thank you.

[@ליאתגלט]

Angie, I can't thank you enough, I am going to save this video and watch it in the rough times 🙏🙏🙏

[@lauratroland8443]

Yes, yes, yes. I was nodding my head alongside everything you were saying. I do still have some nasty waves, but most of the time I consider myself about 75% healed. And I was in bad shape when this started - 16 years of being jerked around on meds (always taken off cold turkey), polydrugged, eventually being pulled off 3 meds at once (basically CT as I was told to half my meds for two days, half them again and then stop). I tapered my last drug (bc at that point I thankfully found the groups) over the next year. It’s now been 4 years and 7 months since the initial CT and I’m doing okay. As long as I’m not in a wave (and most of the time I’m not), my days are really good - even though I still have some symptoms. The one thing that sticks with me is the intense grief of losing over 5 years (I was very ill for a full year before I came off the drugs) with my kids. All of their baby, toddler and preschool years. Some days I’m okay with it, some days I’m not. I lost my mom when I was young (that’s actually what got me on these drugs in the first place 😡) and I feel the same way about that so it just may be one of those things that’s always there. That’s life though. Anyway, thanks for sharing and sorry for the long winded response :) PS - my body also reacts very strongly to what I call “tricky” people - it’s like danger, danger, danger. I consider it a super power! I have surrounded myself with wonderful and kind humans and it’s the greatest gift of my life ❤

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I love this! Your superpower, YES!!!

[@hank3541]

The joys and freedom are true healing . Thank you for continuing to share

[@paulchomiak1318]

The humor in this is true and not lost on me at all.. Thanks for creating it..

[@harmedbuthealing]

I can’t wait to get here

[@maryogle6865]

Angie I’m glad I caught this video. I can relate to everything your saying BIG TIME! I love the new person I’ve become. I don’t miss the person I was either. I was completely meditated for over 14 years. I’ve found a new happiness every day. Im present with my 2 sons❤ we have the most amazing relationship! I could go on and on… so glad you are doing so well! Thank you for sharing your story and accomplishments! Xoxo

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I'm so glad you are doing better too! Amazing how we heal, huh?

[@happyweirdolife7221]

I can’t even begin to tell you how important it is for me to listen to you … Benzoates for 30 years speak in here. Trauma & grief is present I could go on for days. For whatever reason I found you I don’t even know how I think it was on Facebook I’m gonna stick around and listen I’m doing well I function but there’s some reason I’m supposed to know you and listen and I’m here for you. Wow I don’t even really know how to talk to you and write to you but I’m gonna stay here and stick it out

[@shan4145]

Angela, I really believe you were surrounded by lots of different angels and still now . Every good light entities have angels around us 1111

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I believe you 1000000% and felt them many times!

[@louisebam1466]

Thanks for the encouraging words Angie. Looking forward to more. I'm the horror story. Please pray for me.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Even horror stories are victories. It’s just a matter of time and healing!

[@louisebam1466]

@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks girl this body is kindled and broken. Blessings.

[@Sarahpreecenelsonnz]

Thanks so much Angie. A video you shared 6 years ago was one of the first/memorable explanations I found for what was happening to me around the time I was completing my benzo taper end of 2019/early 2020. Your version of healing (and the damage) is how I see it too. Thank you for all you do. I know there are untold challenges living with this harm, but I am so happy for you that you are able to move your body again at full capacity. I so look forward to being able to walk (my dog) and cycle and garden etc again, in time. It is easy to understand how some in the chronic illness communities whom the medical model have gaslit and denied in despicable ways are defensive about the concept of 'healing', when they've had to suffer to come to terms with incapacity that is so often misunderstood by others, and where they/we are victim- blamed or personality-blamed for their/our illness. But I'm so grateful for messages of healing and recovery, and if I were ever to get to whatever 100% is, i don't expect it to look like my life was before. It can only ever be a different version. A work-around. My pathway to pyschotropics also involved a 'PTSD' diagnosis (but in the context of a missed diagnosis of brain injury), after a crime I survived in Sept 2017 ( a home invasion by a psychotic stranger who bashed me nearly to death before raping me). 5 months after the attack, while I was struggling to manage indepent living with deficits from the brain injury caused by the bashing, my distress was medicated with an SSRI and an anti psychotic thrown in. Those drugs then gave me the symptoms that might have indicated their use, but I hadn't been like that before. I turned into a jibbering, jerking, ticking, dribbling, raging mess etc etc. I had serotonin syndrome and akathisia. It was a sustained and additional torture, after the terrible attack of 5 months earlier. Inflicted on me by the wilfully ignorant medical model. They stopped the drugs after 6 weeks once they realised I had serotonin syndrome and akathisia. But then they prescribed Diazepam to mitigate the adverse effects of that iatrogenic assault. For the next 2 years I suffered paradoxical and degenerative symptoms from the use of those benzos as prescribed, while they in the medical model, with all of their ignorant authority, failed to understand/acknowledge the drug harm (including manifestation of verbal and motor tics etc) and continued to ascribe my deterioration to worsening PTSD. They were destroying me. And wanting to label me in ways that would lead to my being marginalised and written-off. I started my own taper without their help 3 years ago, completed Jan 2020. I have been meds free ever since, but housebound, and debilitated, in ways i know you have also traversed. I am so damaged by the drug harm. You will understand what that entails - all the levels and extents of it. I genuinely believe I could have recovered from the supposed PTSD from the attack, but I never got a chance before their meds gave me a whole new level of trauma that has transformed my physiological responses to the slightest of stressors. I know it takes time, but I am healing, I am still alive. Thank you for your wisdom, strength and hope. Sarah, new zealand

[@alamiralyousef8021]

Please can I contact you for help

[@susanfitzgerald417]

Sarah this is an incredible story of strength and hope in the face of extreme trauma. Thankyou for sharing. I hope with all my heart that you are experiencing more healing since this video was released a year ago. Your story like Angie’s gives me the courage to endure my own injury. I’m in Australia. 🙏🏻💕

[@Sarahpreecenelsonnz]

@@susanfitzgerald417 thank you Susan and my heartfelt encouragement goes out to you while you endure your own injury. I know it is so hard. Made harder by a failure of comprehension in the general public, who are more inclined to side eye us than heed our warning, and don't want to imagine that this harm is caused by supposedly helpful and knowledgeable doctors. In my case it is really frustrating to me that people prefer to imagine I 'lost it' because of the crime trauma, when in truth I was managing well with that, so grateful to be alive, and it was until 5 months later when they drugged me an erroneous premise that it would protect my damaged brain from stress, that I was diminished by neurological toxicity. I am/was a midwife before this debilitation; an independent, functioning, mentally balanced human. And like you (i bet) I draw on enormous reserves of psychological resilience to get through this. The silver lining is that I have had my eyes opened to the malevolence of pharma and the corporate interests of a 'health' industry. So I am now armed with a much better sense of pre-caution. ie never again. And even in all of the challenge of the sensory/neurological incapacity that holds me housebound and fatigued - I know I am one of the luckier ones, because some don't get the chance to recover at all. The improvements over the past year are very gradual and quite small/subtle but they make a big difference to me, especially that they indicate hope for continued improvement in my condition. This year i hope to focus on living/loving/accepting the life I've got rather than holding out for a return to better health/ability. I wish you all the very best. I hope your compassion for others is returned to you a hundred fold. Sarah Preece, Nelson, New Zealand

[@johnplant4525]

Thank you for your video. You are looking much better as time goes on.

[@kristianmuus5672]

Great video angie. Keep being your best self. All the best.

[@katrina9092]

This is such a beautiful video... thank you for sharing this.

[@aprilhassell1747]

I hope to be able to walk a mile again and do squats. I'm 11 months off ritialn. My new looping thoughts are im also in perimenopause and withdrawal. But im getting a period every month. My pms is horrible...how was yours in withdrawal? That's time of the month. I don't hear a lot of ppls stories about cold turkey off ritalin. Simon.biles has been on ritialn since she was a kid. I wonder if she'll ever want to stop or will eventually get side effects?

[@charliebates9098]

I just want to put a little positivity out here! When I read these comments it's like the only people that comment are the ones that are having a really hard time... I'm on day 12 of quitting Klonopin (3-4mgs a day for about 2 years. Weaned down to .5 in 20 days then quit at .5) plus I'm about a month off pain meds... The pain meds were pretty easy I weaned those for quite awhile... The withdrawal from the benzo though, ptssh, I thought I was literally dying!! ... BUT, I don't know if I'm lucky or just didn't take it long enough or what but at day 12 I'm on 2 days of sleeping at least 4 hours a night, pretty much all of the anxiety is gone (NEVER had that problem before the benzo! Doc put me on them to help ween off the pain meds! Stupid right!!) No more burning in my shoulders or neck, no more pacing like someone shot me with adrenaline, no more bad muscle spasms although I do still have that a little but it's tolerable... Overall I had pretty much every symptom accept the seizures or hallucinating to make a long story short... But just like when you look it up online by day 8 or so everything started to get better!! Just because someone else has a long hard road with this doesn't mean you will!! I'm not going to lie it was rough!! But I'm through to the other side and started walking and working out again today and it felt a little shaky but in the end made me feel so, so much better!! ... Don't be scared!! Stop looking at all the horror stories! Stop talking yourself into thinking that will be you! ... I think a lot of people are on this for long periods of time and forget what it felt like to be "normal" ... You're going to have bad days again, your going to get frustrated with small things, you're going to have aches and pains! It's just life! Don't associate it with your symptoms ... Again, maybe I'm lucky? I do still have some small symptoms brain fog, hands shaking a little and the sweating!! OMG THE SWEATING IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! And I'm not getting 8 hours of sleep but at this point I'll take the 4 I'm getting compared to the 9 or 10 days or so of not sleeping at all!! ... If you're having a hard time I like what this woman said about it, forced acceptance!! Her saying that is probably what made me power through it!! That was wise advice!! ... But again, I just wanted to post something positive and hope that someone who may be going through it or is about to may see this and understand that not everyone goes through this for years! You just don't hear from the people that get over it rather quickly! And I think some people just forget what life was before they started taking a mind altering drug!! Sometimes life just freaking SUCKS! And that's something you have to get used to again! ... One more time, I'm not putting anyone down or diminishing their experience! I can't imagine going through the worst of this for months at a time!! ... But if you are one of those people take what she said to heart and just accept that this is going to take awhile and you just have to keep pushing!!... Hope everyone can get off of these things and live their lives again!! It's awful how over medicated so many people in this country are!! And yes a lot of it is the doctors fault!! They know that a lot of these things will find their way to the streets and they prescribe stuff for such mundane reasons!! It's awful!! But, it happened... Accept it and move on!!

[@rhiannonauriol2486]

hi Angie, thanks for your videos, it's incredible how far you've come. I definitely believe in healing but it's hard to stay positive sometimes. I have a lot of the vision symptoms you've described throughout - visual snow, things seeming too bright and surreal, difficulty processing motion, getting sensory overload from things that I normally wouldn't have thought twice about. I'm still only in the first year off. There is improvement to come, right? how are your vision symptoms now compared to at the beginning?🥺 thank you so much for any help :)

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Yes most of that will heal. Keep going. I still have some vision issues but I wonder if mine are from previous brain injuries. I ignore it now and I’m not scared of it anymore. I’m just living my life now! You will too.

[@raniakor]

Angie, how long does it take to heal? I am off antipsychotic medication for 3months, and depression and insomnia are unbearable... :(

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

6-18 months for most people. It’s not usually severe that whole time.

[@garysimone4977]

Keep the evening vids coming

[@Cymanable]

Hey Angie, thank you so much for everything your doing. Do you have any experience with PSSD?

[@NAMASTEONELOVE]

🥰 I'm so proud of you!

[@ranim7618]

I am so much confused about healing. I am now 5 and half months off xanax. When I am not experiencing any symptom, doing some deep mindful activity or distracted, I feel so normal, but the moment I think that am I really healed, normal again, or is my mind working properly, is my rational mind and the way I feel in pace? That moment, I am so confused, like out of my mind, nervous, doubtful about myself. I am so scared that If I ever get healed , I will never be able to come out of this mental loop. Please help, have you ever heard about such things? How can I get out of this and enjoy my little windows ?

[@paper3691]

Excellent video Angie. Thank you...!! ✅💯

[@firsttracks4767]

Can you talk more about the impact the meds had on your eyes please?

[@foxclover6]

Always make me cry

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Good cry? Hopeful cry?

[@foxclover6]

@@AngiePeacockMSW yes, also the way you explain things is not like other people could, I feel directly connected to what you say, maybe because my dad retired from the Marines and you have a certain way of speaking that really resonates with me. You're a very intelligent person and not many people can communicate the way you do.

[@thomasearly37]

Hi angie I've been watching you for a while now and think all your videos are fantastic...thank you for your support and help..... I've not heard much on this symptom I'm getting and heard a couple other people talk of it but can't find much on it and that's did you get a rash on you with this withdrawal? I've got mostly on my face but basically bits everywhere...just really bad skin problems but this rash it just seems to be spreading and getting worse...do you know anything about this? Think you again. And much love from Scotland .

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Hi Thomas! I did get a rash but it was mostly on my trunk and legs. It looked like tiny little dots of blood like I was bleeding beneath the skin. What is yours like?

[@thomasearly37]

@@AngiePeacockMSWthank you for reply angie.... I'm getting lots of that to like it's bleeding under skin .i got some of that on parts of my body and my lips have about 5 or 6 dots of that ....the rash im getting on my face resembles eczema.... red inflamed raised skin with the skin peeling off...it can be uncomfortable. Painfull and looks ugly....im getting like sandy skin to..... I hope your feeling good today ...I've watched you for a good while now...your a good chic.

[@katrinamenzies9398]

Hi Angie I some days feel like I will never get better

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I felt the same way. Just keep putting one put in front of the other and things will all come together.

[@katrinamenzies9398]

@@AngiePeacockMSW thank you means a lot 💕

[@angel_2022M]

Can withdrawal cause ocd type ?, like repeated thoughts come to my mind about doubting my own identity etc, they disturb me and increase anxiety,and I think they interfere with healing also,

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Yes listen to my video about coping with mental symptoms of withdrawal. I talk all about the thoughts.

[@angel_2022M]

​@@AngiePeacockMSW Thanks

[@anatino]

Did you search your hormones as well? Perimenopause.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

my hormones are fine. I'm not in peri yet.

[@anatino]

@@AngiePeacockMSW thats great, as long as you’ve checked them. Perimenopause can start in 30’s I’ve heard.

[@toolaazy]

🤟🤟🤟❤️‍🔥💯😋. I am feeling days that might have been baseline before klonopin...14-15 years ago. New years 2016-17 when i started this long, strange trip. Not counting the pain from me being 100% honest and told I'm wrong by close family. Only open up "too" much around close, close family & select friends. Although I'm totally open about it with anyone but people have annoying habits of saying things along the lines of, "suck it up." My honesty cannot be disrespectful nor negative. I'm extremely literal with the stuff. And they see it as being a victim of I guess them in a way/ ways I can't comprehend or their actions. When it's about the shame that's eating me up or more accurately, was much more. And wanting the ones that have supported me the most to understand my mood and issues with getting places on time and full of energy when I didn't know any positive emotions that weren't forcing a facial expression or trying to get words out to express gratitude. Just recently I've had another October surprise where it's intense dealing with the shadows of the past, but forces me to go to the higher powers within, maybe without (external) but it's there. Figuring out how to get my body to work with me and not against the brain and/ or mind and the way things in my environment affect me so so much more. Wim Hof breathing... i figured that out solo more or less 1 month to the day KZbin showed me the breathing method he's known for. I did a lot of heartrate variability breath training even in a lab setting which was neat. Especially bc there were angels of women around my age and that's ALWAYS been a huge stress trigger. That first impression concept is hard to not worry about when you don't wanna mess up potentially my only chance to see if she's the one and visa versa. Healing is real but it didn't start until I watched hundreds of hours of lecture type things/ thousands of things on vagus nerve system along with just anything neurochemical/physiological. Diet, water, cold water therapy helps me a lot but hard to get myself to try to use a small tub to take an ice bath but can't get close to submerging. Kundalini stuff like i haven't been able to do since 22ish has been easy the last few days. Last week, quite good. Love your traveling idea. Been craving camping but scared without watchdog that's not imaginary or the spirit/ spirits. Something that would be able to know if it's my mind misperceiving sounds etc. But dad don't believe me about anything and it's all me blaming him for stuff but I'm trying to just let him know things did affect me and I'm trying to get rid of the pain of the past. Just that trigger effect, not the memories. I see no reason point fingers but actions have effects on children. Drastic ones that were a surprise and sorta over reactions too early in hindsight but salesmen interventionists aren't too bright or moral. Rant off! Much love! Keep it up!

[@azeminasuljic1558]

Hi Angie Is your akathisia completely gone?❤❤

[@srrr7545]

Hello angie im 4 Years off from multiple cold turkeys and kindling . i suffer from bad fatigue and muscles pain . do you think i can heal , do i have to live in pain forever

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Yes, I think most of us will heal most of the way! I still felt really bad at 4 years off. I think you will feel better in the next few years for sure. I didn't start feeling human/good until year 6!

[@reginastone7223]

God Work 🙏🏽💜🙏🏽

[@justdesi86]

I don't know how to get there. So hard. Basically non-functional

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I was too. We need lots of time and patience to get through this.

[@Blackmoonsoulx]

Can I recover from an anti psychotic (Risperdal) and a mood stabilizer (tegretol)... ? :'(

[@cammiefleming8822]

Yes kindling.. I’m in my 2nd CT.. low dose and short term but still HELL

[@cammiefleming8822]

I am healing, thank you Angie..your an inspiration

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

You are healin!

[@vikasgupta1828]

Thanks

[@justinoxley5691]

Angie, I find taking high temperature baths in the mornings helps me to feel much better for the rest of the day. I found warm baths to be ineffective the best baths are those where the temperature of the water is set to just below the level that would be painful.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I agree with you. Except! One time I had it way too hot and it sort of made me squirm when I was in there. It caused a wave for about 24 hours afterwards because it was too hot for me even though I wasn’t necessarily in pain. So, just be careful and listen to your body!

[@justinoxley5691]

@@AngiePeacockMSW Yes it is tricky to know exactly, hot showers and baths are used to alleviate symptoms in drug withdrawal clinics. The most unnerving thing I currently feel is with exercise it isn't refreshing like I expect it to be, I'd like exercise to go back to normal.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

@@justinoxley5691 my exercise is finally getting there at 6.75 years off. Hang in there!

[@MsMary414]

I don’t know if I will heal. I want to believe that it can happen but since the adverse reaction I think something in my brain doesn’t feel right. Something you said in the beginning about the neurotransmitters. I’m scared because I don’t want to die. I want to live so bad. But I have brain damage and scared. Thank you for sharing and sending a hopeful message.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

BRAINS HEAL from adverse reactions and pharma injury. It just feels SO SEVERE and can take a long time.

[@justkeepswimming6549]

❤

[@mariekejansen7658]

❤️🙏

[@nazlisevis1983]

Seni seviyorum💖💖💖 Love you 💖💖💖💖

[@Heartbrokenforever1978]

Not everyone heals

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Hope yes they do. It’s just a matter of time.

[@Heartbrokenforever1978]

That just isn't true my friend. I know 100% that I won't heal no matter how badly badly badly I want it.heal means happy to be alive. It means not suicidal. I wasn't si ever before injury but bc of the injury what I lost and mentalnsxs combined with the trauma of it all will always be si. I lost the things in my life I cared aboit. You don't get time with kids back. It's gone. I won't be able to restart my life. It's gone. Healed means happy to live.

[@Heartbrokenforever1978]

I do agree all wd heals like you had. The actual mega deep severe though where people scream all day and can't drive cars and go to college no

[@Heartbrokenforever1978]

Even dr. Ashton says not everyone heals

[@Slidehhy]

​@@Heartbrokenforever1978how are you now