What Everyone Who is Too Self-Critical Needs to Know | Marisa Peer on Impact Theory

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Famed hypnotherapist Marisa Peer, named the Best British Therapist by Men’s Health Magazine, has devoted her life to helping people resolve childhood trauma, find love, and lead healthier lives. Her primary insight is that the mind does what you tell it to, but most people do not understand how to talk effectively with their own minds. On this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, Marisa Peer explains exactly how to transform your negative self-talk, details the process by which you can come to the full realization that you are enough, and explains how to deal with the primary impediments to personal growth.
SHOW NOTES:
Marisa tells the story of what led her to hypnotherapy [2:18]
Marisa explains how hypnotherapy shuts down the critical part of the brain [4:18]
Marisa explains why you need to use language that is powerful and absolutely up to date [6:52]
What is the difference between repetition and hypnosis? [9:35]
Marisa describes the process of finding the imprint that causes your negative self-talk [11:43]
What are the limits to the fact that your mind does what you tell it to? [16:52]
Marisa describes the “You are Enough” movement [20:56]
Marisa explains how starting with “I am enough” changes people’s self-talk [22:46]
Marisa and Tom discuss why people sometimes are not willing to change [25:33]
Marisa discusses how she dealt with cancer [32:36]
Marisa shares the impact she wants to have on the world [38:54]
QUOTES:
“If you understand the mind, it does what you tell it. That’s it’s job. If you tell it better stuff, you have an amazing life. If you tell it mediocre stuff, you have a mediocre life.” [6:39]
“The number one block is the fear of rejection. If I make it I might get rejected. If I find love they might leave. If I make all that money people won’t like me. So you’ve got to smash out of the ballpark the fear of rejection.” [19:56]
“If you make the choice to talk to yourself better, you can bounce back. You might as well use your mind as much as you possibly can to be well.” [37:55]
FOLLOW:
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[@marymercado4840]

I wrote down, “I love you because you’re lovable and all your life you will find love like this because you’re worth it” so I can snuggle my 7 year old and tell them that before bed. I wish someone had talked to me like that ☺️ I hope this impacts her as much as it did me

[@earthstoryproductions]

You are going to raise an incredible child Mary!

[@creeikuko]

Mary Mercado yes tell her every day

[@sophiaina16]

Aw that's lovely! Inspired to do the same for mine

[@hopefully2224]

That so sweet ❤

[@PAM50CUPP]

Hey you will,....

[@hithereitsbloop3003]

This woman has changed my life. No joke.

[@kathrynmcnerney6490]

Me too x

[@fayepatrice1672]

Mine too

[@MyMessyMind]

How so?

[@gosiama480]

How?

[@fayepatrice1672]

For me, I bought her course last summer. Since then, I have stopped binge eating, lost 20lbs( 20 to go), gotten a new job, opened a business, repaired my marriage, massively improved my social life, and am just happier overall. She really helped me recognize what I truly wanted out of life and pursue those things wholeheartedly. I have been able to overcome what was holding me back and move towards my goals, some of which I had been pursuing for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss before.

[@belovedofgod738]

I love her sweet voice it’s so soothing to my soul . 🙏❤️

[@hellooutthere8956]

Tht is why she spks like she does. She does it deliberately.

[@tinakuczaj3958]

I was just telling my daughter the same thing

[@peterlejewaan9189]

I also lover her voice

[@AlternicityBlogspot]

@@byebabies2962 Pronounciation. Sorry.. :)

[@maxgonzalez214]

One thing I love about Marisa is how genuinely compassionate and caring she seems, you can tell she truly cares about helping others.

[@meekotheshorkie3970]

Tom is just the best interviewer in the world. People forget good communication is also listening.

[@lenileni9641]

and he has got a great memory - he showed it already through the questions in this interview.

[@no1800]

*AND HIS FASHION IS GREAT*

[@PriyankaGupta-ew1li]

Are you kidding me!?? Listening is Everything ❤🌟 It's the most Strongest Action of Intelligence ❤🌺

[@ErikaK]

Self-love truly changes everything. When we change our self-image, our self-talk, we become so so powerful, we understand that we are unique, beautiful, special and we are capable of achieving anything we want ♡

[@ErikaK]

@Karan yes ! ♡

[@ErikaK]

@Karan ♡♡♡

[@georgestevens3483]

I bought her course Uncompromised Life like a while ago and it just changed my whole life. Her hypnosis are powerful, her lectures are so great n simple. Amazing woman. And so magnetic too

[@Zelanias]

does she have a book?

[@user-fy6tj8up4x]

Love Marissa. All my problems came from thinking I am not enough. ❤️ Thank you

[@MrGhirbo]

25:34 1)just monitor how u talk! instead of telling urself: uhh i forgot my lunch , got to get back in house for it.... my memory is bad tell urself: i remembered my lunch , my memory is great, at the gate it told me "school lunch" 2)Make a decision to tell urself i have an outstanding, reliable, fenomenal, impressive ,full proof memory 3)"That will come to me" - what is the name of that book..? ask ur mind instead of looking urself. Comand ur mind. Remind me what is the name of that book. I can never get to sleep... dont try... lie down and invite sleep to come to you. my eyes are heavy and sleep is decending on me , sleep is coming to me need to rewach this again in future (i want to rewatch and focus on how to talk to myself) ... it got intresting from min 20:00 talk to ur brain like smth else , some kind of person

[@NallahBrown]

MrGhirbo Lovely comment!!!

[@CoachSimona]

Great conversation, Tom! Marisa is one of the reasons I became a life coach in the first place. Truly remarkable human being ❤️

[@miriamrios93]

I love this. I am an amazing single mom to and provider to my kids. I an a phenomenal hair stylist. I will be the best in my field and I will buy a large home for my kids. My life will take a major turn and I will have an amazing loving husband very soon and we will make all kinds of positive changes in this world to help others together

[@rivkaruthgolan]

Amen!!

[@jills911]

I stand in agreement with you. You deserve the best!

[@kirk1007]

Yes! Amen

[@trinbin4786]

this made me cry. you got this girl.

[@ernestozepedagomez762]

Miriam Rios I am an amazing mom and an amazing provider to my kids. I am a phenomenal hair stylist. I AM the best in my field and I own a large and beautiful House my kids love and enjoy. I have an amazing loving husband who is very succesful and cares for my kids.

[@SteffiHarvey]

The concept of The Secret isn't to sit there and wait for it to fall in your life. It's to re-program the mind/subconscious/brain with visualization and affirmation and then you are OPEN to things around you that will help you get what you want. For example, if you visualize six pack abs or put them on a vision board, then your subconscious is thinking about that and wanting it. . you'll start being excited to go to the gym, you'll gravitate to that cute workout outfit, you'll walk away from the chips. Watch it again, it's NOT about being lazy. That's stupid and obviously does not work. The whole concept of The Secret is literally this entire interview really.

[@claudiaclaudia8599]

Steffi Harvey I don’t understand why so many people think that The Secret claims you can have everything without working for it.

[@em11111]

So many people have a misunderstanding of the Law of Attraction and The Secret. They don't get it. You have to intend and act. Having said that, The Secret wasn't that clear on the action part (well the Esther Hicks version was). As an aside, as a Hypnotherapist myself, I can say that even after experiencing clinical hypnosis they still don't grasp the depth of the work. Marisa's approach of direct suggestion and figuring out the "why" are old school hypnosis that is theraputic based. Regression is no longer considered necessary. Her approach works well (as my colleagues who practice it tell me) and more modern techniques can be content free and leave it up to the unconscious to resolve the issue because it already knows the problem and the conscious mind doesn't need to. Ericksonian Hypnosis is something she doesn't use either and is the most powerful type of hypnosis thought the most challenging to do well.

[@sobean9309]

@@em11111 are you talking about the subliminal therapy?

[@filixamparo8418]

Just from listening to her tender-heartedness one can experience growth.

[@sandylucas4279]

Commanding your body works! When I became an amputee (motorcycle vs drunk driver) I felt me left ankle but it was no longer there. So, I looked at the bottom of my stump and told my leg you can no longer feel below this point because you are no longer there. No phantom pain ever. I started having panic attacks. Once I had to leave a family event because I felt someone else's anxiety and took it on myself. As I drove home I said, You cannot take on others pain, it is not mine to hold. Never had another panic/anxiety attack again. Recently (after menopause) I started waking up all hours of the night or earlier than usual. I re- position my body and then ask, I wonder if I can go back to sleep? I keep my eyes closed expecting it to happen. Sure enough I usually go back to sleep!

[@wendyraye]

I need this - I’m my worst critic by FAR. I’m sooo good at interviewing for jobs and writing my resume - I love it so much!!

[@arako3759]

So awesome to see Marisa on my favorite show! I am a RTT hypnotherapist and it is absolutely phenomenal!!! Thanks for this interview❤️

[@paulpetersen7041]

Do you love your job? I love Marissa and everything she stands for and have been truly considering taking her courses on RTT. I'm curious if you have any advice?

[@amym.2974]

Can I ask you how you became an RTT?

[@dr.carolineherring2258]

She changes the story her clients tell themselves! Genius! This is why she helps people so quickly!

[@LavenderChocolates]

she has the most calming soothing voice I meditate with her videos. She is amazing and so intelligent. I have been listening to her for years

[@InnerVisionStudios]

Marisa's work is fascinating and this conversation was amazing. Thanks Tom for having her on the show.

[@sterredelgado6861]

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[@deannjohnson9004]

I adore this women’s attitude. Though I’m sure that her supremely positive attitude could easily become overwhelming at times.

[@B.Weiser]

Marisa is so special. I love that you chose her to be on the show. She’s incredible.✨

[@jhxcczs]

Marisa changed my thinking and that changed my life.

[@anaadventures7669]

I have experienced social anxiety and I have started saying to myself "I am enough" when the feelings of anxiety arise and it really does help. Another thing, in her book, she says don't own it. don't say "my anxiety", "my depression", or "my cancer", for example. don't identify with it. she is just amazing and has really helped me be more cognizant of my negative self talk.

[@slimilacraft7676]

I adore her compassion and gentleness. She’s such a lady and a great communicator. Her perspective has definitely shifted mine. Thank you

[@ginagoesto9668]

Tom, so happy you turned down the volume with the applause at the beginning. I don't have to rush to turn it down at that part anymore.

[@IEVAKambarovaite]

Tom, thank you so much for being such an amazing interviewer!! and thank you for bringing all these brilliant people on your show

[@meekaetienne4812]

Tom Bilyeu is so self aware. He explains things that he is going through with such precision. Impressive.

[@erikamarcouxma9134]

I particularly agree with "When you describe why you can’t, you keep it going. If you keep talking about the symptom, your minds keeps it alive." Dr. Art Markman, who I interview, says if you say, "Don't eat pizza," your mind just hears "pizza." So, you think about pizza more and probably eat it after all.

[@ArtyMars]

Yes exactly the subconcious mind doesn't hear the filler words it only hears PIZZA -

[@erikamarcouxma9134]

The mind is a funny thing.

[@Karenhypnotic]

Two of my favorite people in the same room! I’m a happy RTT Therapist because of Marisa! I finally dropped the weight and now I help countless others to do the same because of this amazing therapeutic technique that Marisa taught me! ❤

[@alexanderberhane436]

Marisa's talk is flawless!

[@tullysoulliere8103]

Awesome interview , Marisa is such a lovely woman and her heart just shines!!!!

[@mariannebaker]

I absolutely love Marisa Peer!! She is always seems to say just exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. Thanks so much for having her on your amazing show!! 💓💓💓🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@ShonSpeaks]

Tom, I believe your memory is better than you think. Tom you have a phenomenal memory and you are improving this skill everyday.

[@Antoniathinks]

I love commanding the moment “It will come to me”. BRILLIANT. EFFECTIVE. AND IT WORKS!!!

[@simoneedwards5710]

I've been watching a number of her videos and interviews recently and this one was the best. I really loved the questions which you asked.

[@SalesRemastered]

"The mind listens to everything you say. The mind is always switched on, and it records everything, and it never forgets."

[@polina4772]

Tom and Marisa! Thank you very much for your hard work! Top communication skills and the impact you make to people’s lives! ❤️💪🏼🙏🏼God bless you!! Thank you for changing my life too!! 🙏🏼

[@NicoMoreno]

Marisa, you are amazing! Tom, you are amazing! Thank you both! 🙏🙏

[@LayonieJae]

Marisa is absolutely amazing! I loved this, i certainly need to practise to train my mind to stop the negative self talk because ‘I am enough!!!!!’ 🙏🏾❤️ xx

[@anuraganil7293]

Tom, you are soo enough to do this inspiring work..I'm astonished by the quality of your questions..you are incredibly good at this.and I'm soo grateful for your work.

[@vincentssoul2369]

I love this interview, Marisa is amazing ! And Tom was so quiet seems to be under her hypnosis :)

[@demekofreeman2393]

vincent's Soul watching now i expect Tom to be challenging about the thoughts

[@Mr6499]

Seems?? he is .... 14: 08 ... and ... 14:35 ... Tom blinking ... as he is in Trance ...even more each time... :)

[@leeskinner1296]

The English Accent always does that to Americans!

[@cameronsinclair3412]

It's evidence of his incredible interview skills, in every interview he gives enough time, asks the right questions. He has helped loads of us with these interviews! Truly grateful 😊

[@rubyrox9972]

I am a big marissa fan.i highly recommend her hypnosis they are so soothing and beneficial. I feel Tom did a great job of getting the best out of this interview too.

[@taniatwain5295]

Marisa you have changed my life. Keep doing the good work

[@jessgeniuk7657]

It normally takes me a while to get to sleep but I’ve used her technique 3 nights in a row inviting sleep to come to me and have had success getting to sleep a lot quicker these past 3 nights. This has also been my second time this week watching her episode. I’m excited to look into more of her talks throughout KZbin and check out her books. Thanks again for an amazing speaker and the insight from your show!

[@kellycraytor]

Thank you. Tom, your introductions are truly wonderful! I love Marissa! Peace & Love to all xxx

[@aLr_boosh]

This was really good. The power of words. Makes me want to study language truly just to be able to communicate and control myself better

[@humumusahsakibu5438]

I'm from Ghana and I do watch your videos, but this one in particular is amazing. She is amazing and I'm definitely going to do what she says. Thank you Tom Bilyeu , I'm glad I have Impact Theory

[@yingg.6051]

I absolutely adore how Marisa talks! Thank you so much Tom and Team for bringing her on, I am so inspired!!!

[@giselez4375]

Tom thanks for interviewing Marisa Peer. 🥰

[@TheOlgaKay]

Tom, I've gotta say about having bad memory: I've been telling myself the same "bad memory" story, like you, my whole life. I don't know about you, but my bad memory story has been actually used against me many times as a form of manipulation. Without going into further details, this story can be changed easily and there is no energy involved. That, by the way, is another story you're telling yourself: "good memory takes more energy" or something to that affect. Feeling like you're lacking energy takes more of an energetic toll than having great memory. I've made the switch years ago in my story and I can tell you it's been a huge relief. Having amazing memory comes naturally to me now, and the energy isn't being drained due to this old and no longer serving belief. Good luck!

[@88happiness]

What a great combination. I'm a fan of both of you, but having you together...just amazing!

[@biancalacey4155]

What a woman, thoroughly enjoyed listening and watching this. Very interesting the impact of thoughts on the body and if we think that we are enough for something. Thanks for the interview :))

[@lauraashley1]

Was just about to listen to Marissa first thing this morning and I found this. I have never been so excited about one of your guests Tom. I absolutely love Marisa she is "phenomenal" and one of my favourite speakers ever. Love from Ireland 🇮🇪

[@saranovak]

She reminds me a lot of LOUISE HAY. Her approaches.. Louise changed my Life. Glad to see that another person like Louise exists.Great video. Great person and great instructions worthy !!!

[@PowerfulU]

Marisa is amazing! Thanks for having her on the show Tom

[@nikivanoppens]

I think that I just found my most favourite interview ever! I absolutely love it! This was so powerful. Thank you so much Tom and Marisa

[@TheYNicke90]

Marisa Peer has beautiful voice !

[@gmize78]

Best advice i heard from an addiction counselor 15 years about: Never feel less than. I keep that in my head &use daily. I am not insecure, confident in most areas & let others know too. Creates healthy boundaries, prevents boredom, sharper mind, and makes me interesting to others. I value witty repartee, complex dialogue and debate. Passive aggressive or bad moral compass type people bore me. Nostalgia or memory recollection is appealing..connection is important. Chemistry. I thank god daily for discernment.

[@Lit-E]

The main ideas I got from this is that self talk is important cause your mind literally obeys what you tell yourself, powerful words are necessary in order to be in an excited feeling state to activate your mind and that this is a more introspective version of the law of attraction in which you literally inspire yourself to do the things that better your life, rather than the misconception of being a couch potato and thinking about a million bucks. At the end of the day its all about how your using your inner world, rather than accepting your outer circumstance to determine who you are. (Maybe that's what free will means)

[@elzbietapopardowska2927]

Wow, this woman is amazing! She says so many wise words! I am trully amazed, thank you for this interview! 🙏🏻

[@dillonbrooks7807]

Wow Marisa has so much wisdom! I want to learn and teach your therapy to others! Teach me! I think he message coupled with Dr. Joe Dispenza meditation and scientific practical use can change lives and even the world!

[@olgakukh9512]

Thank you for this interview! Love this woman! She is so amazing and really really powerful therapist))

[@jeffxcc]

Tom, you are a master of great questions! Amazing interview with Marisa.

[@seamusdebuitleir20]

Thank you Marisa and Tomas, keep moving forward.💚☘️🇮🇪🙏🏻

[@debbiekallin2982]

Tom is a phenomenal interviewer. I thoroughly enjoyed this interview especially as I have spent the last couple of days considering commencing Marisa's online course. This may have cemented my decision to invest in myself.

[@saravananm2280]

If you keep talking about the symptom your mind keeps it alive

[@user..-.]

Your mind remembers the most impressive words in the sentence. You have to want it strongly and your mind goes to work.

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

Embrace your potential and stop doubting yourself 🙏🏼

[@hickorysocks2628]

This video has just helped me pivot my life trajectory in a major way today. Thank you to the both of you.

[@leemartell9119]

I Love Marrisa ! You are brilliant, Thank God for Therapists like her.

[@mihaelaelena1116]

Finally, Tom!!! I've been waiting for 2 years to see Marisa @Impact theory!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!

[@SuperGrinch123]

That was awesome.. I'm a big fan of Marisa Peer and fully believe in her methods. The language you speak to yourself is vital... Excellent interview.. 👍

[@deniseyounger6004]

Love this the mind is complicated and simple all at the same time

[@kathrynbaker7529]

Great interview! Thank you!

[@sdogboe]

Thank you so much ! Seriously so impactful ! ❤❤❤🙏🏾

[@diadasguptaellinghaus5338]

Wow, wow, wow ! One of my fave podcasters/Interviewers and my teacher/mentor in one room - finally!!! Marisa’s wisdom about the subconscious mind and it’s impact on the human psyche is simply incredible. A must-watch for everyone!

[@tnyqueen]

Another wonderful interview! Thank you! :)

[@shannon150]

So glad I’ve came across this. Powerful x

[@christena9golove209]

Absolutely phenomenal teacher right here, SO love her!!!!! THANK YOU MARISA PEER 🙏💖💖💖🥰🌻🌺🌻

[@lupita1654]

I’ve been waiting for this 🙌🏻👏🏻

[@shreyamadhogarhia4601]

Tom you ask such incisive questions. I'm amazed by how clearly you express your doubts!

[@PAM50CUPP]

Thanks so much for sharing your talents with us,....

[@danmc2678]

The reason there is a feeling of not being enough starts between ages one and two when there is a gaze into a mirror and the ego is formed and the self starts the belief in separation. "Me and everything else". You will never be enough when "you" go from "all that there is" to seperation.

[@rachelkidd5338]

Amazing woman ❤️ I love her approach xxx

[@gayaniilleperuma8670]

Listening to this brilliant conversation again during quorontine:)

[@co4975]

Very professional solutions and inspiring ideas. Well managed talk. You can see the voice of experience. Following these leads it will definitely take you somewhere meaningful. 👍

[@babiryemercy3327]

Gosh, the interview time went by so quickly! This was good!!!!

[@gailfreese3849]

Love listening to Marisa, but listening to Tom today was like trying to solve a riddle. Amazing interview!

[@m3d747]

I done one Meditation with Marisa online on Mindvalley website It was amazing Thank you so much Marisa 💓🌹

[@ligaskaba3910]

Thanks, my dream Impact Theory episode has come true!

[@J.Moyine]

I'd like to point out that the fact that the cancer came back was a sign of an underlying issue that was being ignored. We can't just use affirmations to brush our issues away. We need to feel the pain we've been suppressing first because for many of us that the cause of our illness. The body doesn't just get sick for no reason. We're storing alot of toxic emotion that manifests into physical illness and to clear it, we need to ALLOW ourselves to FEEL what has been pushed down. Then we can heal. It's not as simple as just convincing your mind of something and I've experienced this first hand. We need to go to the root of the issue, dig it up so it doesn't grow back and THEN plant the new thoughts about ourselves. But there's a process. And I can't help but feel that Marisa is skipping once crucial step with her teachings that doesn't allow people to fully heal from whatever trauma they might be carrying. Just my opinion. Really enjoyed the interview though, some very valuable info xx

[@tesserat2]

You have to rewrite your own negative code. Go back in your mind and seek out the situations that caused you to doubt yourself. Using using hypnosis you overwrite the negative with positive.

[@Almaaaar]

She's not, in another interview with Lewis, she talks about the importance of feeling emotions and letting them out

[@wonderwoman3dot0]

Love Marisa, thank you for interviewing her Tom. PS - side minor feedback, I think with some guests like Marisa you may want to consider not swearing as it feels awkward. Again love you and your show, just my 2 cents on that.

[@myviews7021]

Marissa swears a lot too! Lol js

[@picturepappy]

Marisa referred to fertile sperm cells as "cracked sperm" , I think she is alright with the choice of language

[@Mizzkaylaa03]

He didn't get where he is without being his authentic self

[@1STBUCKLEY]

Swearing done with class and she swears too. It's language.

[@carolinehammes]

I swear for emphasis such as stubbing my toe like a MF. Swearing is effective if it’s fitting which is individualized. Seems he stopped cussing because it wasn’t fitting, he felt it and we saw it.

[@easy4steve]

thankyou Marisa , awesome stuff

[@Mizzkaylaa03]

What they don't tell you in the secret is that when you begin to imagine too manifest that instead of it just falling into your lap, you will get the ingredients to produce these goals but that means you WILL have to put in whatever work necessary. It definitely got me started on this path though so I won't knock it lol

[@david894]

I love this woman's voice!

[@patsyw4141]

Really found this helpful. Putting 70 yes of positive thinking will take me some time, but I'm going for it.Thanks for that.

[@mayramendez5259]

I LOVE THIS LADY !!

[@rodneyjason44]

This is gold!

[@mariagarcia-de9vc]

I've been waiting for this😭😤🤧💪🏼👍🏽

[@PhuongNguyen-pd6zr]

Tom, I love your t-shirt!!! Great show!