What happened to me in 2024...

[@glennconnolly]

Hi Jack, sorry to hear about your recent difficulties. It’s a brave thing to speak so openly and honestly. Life’s a journey, unfortunately, sometimes it’s hard. Keep fighting and when things improve, be proud of your efforts and grateful for all the small things. Stay safe

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

You speak some wise words Glenn... You're not just a pretty face after all 😜 Thank you my friend that's a really wise and well written message and I appreciate it. ❤️

[@dnstuff]

You’ve achieved a lot in a year that has tested you so thoroughly. Sorry that it’s been such a hard ride, but big congrats on your successes. Your streams are genuinely the best to watch out there; even with your obnoxious save rolls. Keep at it and hope things get easier in 2025

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Ha! Well it seems you know me pretty well, obnoxious is exactly how Neale would describe me 😅 Thank you for the beautiful comment and watching along on the videos, it means so much. ❤️

[@itsSevro]

Good gods man. This is a wild set of stories. Hope things pick up, and for what it’s worth you got a subscriber

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

100% worth it! Ha! Thank you my friend, means a lot! 😁

[@briancrothers2163]

Thanks for sharing all this. Very brave of you and there’s many out there who I’m sure can relate. Hope you make it back to Canada sometime soon!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you for leaving such a lovely comment! I'm certain I will in the future. I had a great time in Canada 💪❤️

[@byLemon12]

So sorry to hear about everything Jack and appreciate you sharing everything openly and honestly ❤️. Keep doing the great things you do. God bless to your partner and mum for being beyond amazing human beings! Got two wonderful humans by the sounds of things right beside you helping you out wherever possible!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

This year has been absolutely rough as guts. But I am very lucky to have such a supportive family to be here for me. ❤️

[@FloderPo]

Thank you for sharing. You always seem like such an enthusiastic, genuine and endearing person. We just never know the struggles everyone is going through in their life. Always makes me feel grounded and thankful for the good times. As a nurse I can tell you it does get better when you work on it. I hope the joy you bring to people (and me obviously :)) come back to you because you absolutely deserve it!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

I'm sure that if I keep putting good karma out into the world that it will swing back around to me eventually... After all, there is no save like a jack save 😜 Thanks Floder, that comment was lovely!

[@dianaarmytage1656]

Well done for being open re your health problems & the recent breakdown of your parents relationship you spoke honestly & hopefully you will start to form a life that is full,. best wishes for a healthier & happier year to come 🙏

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thanks Di! ❤️😁

[@smokapopierdolio1157]

over the years you have become my go to eldar channel for battle report, i can relate to your situation so much, that now i can see you becoming something more than just a channel for watching eldar. cant wait to follow your on your journey. please keep us updated if you feel like it

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

That really means a lot! I'm so happy that this video is allowing the KZbin community to see another side of this channel and who I am. Hopefully you come back for many more videos! 😁

[@nidnewbie587]

Thanks for sharing. I too have my journey with depression & anxiety and feel like I need to let others know it's nothing to be ashamed of. Much love mate! From cold, dark Western New York.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Wow! From the other side of the planet! Thanks for leaving such a lovely comment and reassuring me it was the right thing to do in posting this video. Means a lot ❤️

[@dianaarmytage1656]

Hi Jac this presentation is very well presented & informative well done👏💕

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Okay Di, now we're getting ridiculous... 3 comments! How generous! 😁

[@Ratsixtyfour-ls5jj]

Merry Christmas man!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

🎄🎁

[@simeonbrown3712]

Wow, just wow. would never know watching your streams that all of this is going on in the background. Thats why its so important to share things like this, letting people know your true self and also that mental health is a real thing that affects alot of people. Brilliant job, keep up the brilliant content.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

You are a gem my friend! Thank you for such a lovely comment. As long as I get comments like these you can be assured that I'll keep posting ❤️

[@mellily6178]

It takes courage to put yourself out there on the internet, & even more to share personal stuff & be the real you. I share a few similar aspects of life with you...only it was a child care final placement nightmare, and I had to do it again at a different centre, thus delaying and excluding me from graduation with my class. I lost my favourite parent (mum) to cancer so many years ago, and have to deal with my Dad alone (he has many faults). But now that I am over 40, I am a big believer in leaving situations that don't support your best interests. Life is too short not to try to put your health and wellbeing before others, especially those that treat people badly. We need to do more of what we enjoy, with those we love the most. Most people seem to have an unwanted free bag of health & mental issues they need to navigate, finding people to support us through them is a great place to start.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you so much for sharing! It means a lot. Everyone always tells me that there isn't enough time in the day. Go go go. Always working, always meeting with people, always getting a new project done. But at the end of this year I am realising just how important down time with the people you love most is. I look forward to a wiser, calmer 2025. Thanks for watching and leaving such a lovely comment ❤️

[@mellily6178]

@@Barnyard-Wargaming You are most welcome, Australia is definitely hectic & work focused (VIC here), implementing healthy change is hard too. I am no where near where I want to be, just making one change at a time to form the habit.

[@UnkaStunka]

Rough year my dude. Life be like that, hang in there. I love your videos and you seam like a solid guy. Cheers!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Cheers brother! 😁 It has been a rough year for sure but I'm very hopeful for the future!

[@PapaBear1923]

My deepest respect for displaying so much courage, mate. Getting everything „off the chest“ can be so powerful. Wish you all the best 😊

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

My deepest gratitude for the legendary comment! 😁

[@jpdepetris7749]

all the best for the future. We like your work!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you so much! 😊 ❤️

[@Pantor1643]

Thank you brother for sharing. I work in the mental health. Keep working on you. Much love.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you for commenting! It's such a serious field. You never really know how much until you're there yourself.

[@charlescornell2951]

I have always enjoyed your videos. I have as yet an unplayed eldar army I started when I was about 12 that I'm finishing off and painting! (I'm 40!) Your videos have helped me escape my own depression and anxiety at times. Thank you for that. Keep up the good work. ❤

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

A hobbyist after my own heart! I bet your eldar army will be gorgeous! Thank you for watching and supporting me! In a way, we've helped each other 😊

[@Slapdab]

I think it’s inspiring that you’ve done so much good content during all that. All the best.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

I wouldn't give this up anyday! Thank you so much 😊

[@Jimbly985]

I just turned 28, and honestly I notice some similarities in our stories. I developed anxiety disorder when I was 17 and it has affected me since. I have been in uni for 7 years now, and I have been struggling due to mental health issues like my anxiety disorder. It feels terrible to be "stuck" in life like this. I feel like im not making any progress in life and that of course fuels my mental health struggles, which then fuels the feeling of being stuck in a negative cycle loop. It is pretty awful, im wishing you the best with your new anxiety disorder, it does get easier to manage, it never really goes away or at least for me it hasnt. But I am able to now control it enough so that it does not ever get into full panic attack mode, which I am grateful (That shit is unbelievably scary) but I always have a baseline anxiety going on. People who havent ever had a panic attack just cant understand how unbelievably intense it can be. I would much rather go through a ton of pain instead of have some of the panic attacks I have had in my life. I also very much hyper focus on stuff, I think this is because of ADHD. My "Laziness" was also just my ADHD. I am not lazy when its something I am hyperfocusing on. You might want to look into that, as I have very similar symptoms and it turned out most of it was because of ADHD. I live with my mom and partner as well, however my dad was good in my life. I wish you the best, I just found your channel from the stream you did and I really enjoyed it. I think you are going to do great on youtube. I am honestly suprised you dont have more subs and views.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

My friend thank you for such a lovely comment! ☺️ Thank you for taking the time to watch through my videos and join my little community here on KZbin, and sharing your story as well! Means a lot! Lots of helpful information in that comment as well! ❤️

[@RESEDAPRIME]

Great video and i love the Eldar content (darn daemons!) :). Stay strong and keep doing the good work, i think it´s awesome how you can run a livestream by yourself, i love your setup.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you so much! That's a really kind comment from someone that I know has been watching for a long time. It means a lot, and I will endeavor to play more Aeldari games in the future! 😁

[@karlschlitz6763]

From the bottom of my heart I send you all the love and support. You truly are an unimaginable human being, you've put out so much joy and kindness into this world. My hope is that it finds you now and you can find the peace and solace you so rightfully deserve. Stay strong we're all here for whatever you may need ❤

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

My friend, that love is coming right back at you. Thank you for the unimaginably lovely comment. Almost undeservedly so! With you guys supporting me I have no doubt that I will stay strong 💪 Thank you for everything. ❤️

[@dianaarmytage1656]

Hi Jac this presentation is very well presented & informative well done👏💕 By

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Di I feel like I am having Deja Vu.

[@brettmartin6727]

Thank you Jackson; just thank you.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

For you Brett. Anytime 😊

[@NaujPlays40k]

Damn dood just damn... Keep going strong here's to a better 2025! Not just Warhammer in general.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

A rough year for sure! 2025 will be my year I know it! 💪😁

[@NaujPlays40k]

@@Barnyard-Wargaming Dang right dood LETS GO JACK!!!

[@AsherCreech1510]

Keep living life Jackson. Refuse to let it live you! You are a genuine person and you’re worth it. Every time, everyday to all those who are your chosen family, your blood family and to our Lord and even little old me. Stand firm in the face of adversity and know that you have support. You make my day through your content, guests and smile.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Well said! Thank you so much my friend! 😊 We are definitely on the way up! I will keep on making videos as long as you guys keep watching them! ❤️💪

[@hobbygoblins]

Great video, my friend. Very inspirational. Thank you very much for sharing

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thankfully, this is the best community in the world, and there are plenty of wonderful examples of inspiration in this community. Just like you lovely blokes! Thanks lads 😊

[@ryanq7230]

I love watching your live feeds while I'm working midnights here in the US as a registered nurse. You always display great content and knowledge. Thank you for all you do.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you for watching along and for commenting! You guys always display such patience and love so I really appreciate it. ❤️

[@turbidious]

Youve had a tough year mate, always here to support and we will have a game soon.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

I know I can always count on you my friend ☺️ Absolutely we will!

[@boog6x]

Really brave of you for sharing something this private. Thank you for everything what you have brought me (also others) and what you gonna bring in the future. Have learned alot of you video's. Could not always be at livestream cause of timing. but yeah living in The Netherlands. Sometimes i could watch under worktime. Always keep in mind the Chaos daemons are at our side!! ❤

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

My friend that is a lovely comment and you are always welcome in my chat 😊 Alongside the chaos daemons of course...

[@daemonprinceazriel9113]

Absolutely love your story. Its funny cause its cause of Skari, Dave and MWG that i got really i to Warhammer. I used to watch and listen to the batle reports. I still have plans to go to Canada and hopefully meet them all in person. I probably won't cry. And a shout out to playon. I love you guys as well.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Skari, Dave and the Mwg team were so insanely lovely to me! They are beacons in this hobby. Absolute gems! 💪

[@BeachesScalyBeasts]

Great video mate. Very touching on so many levels. You are killing it dude. At the end of the day we are all human and have our struggles and triumphs. You and the community have helped me through so times more than you know. ❤

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

My friend I only learn from the best, and those people are beacons in this beautiful community such as yourself! ❤️

[@Peacewalker73]

Merci beaucoup pour ton contenu. J’ai monté et peint mes 2k demons en regardant tes videos, j’ai beaucoup appris de tes parties et j’espere (si GW n’exile pas notre armée) que cela continuera les prochaines années. Bon courage et hate de voir plus de rapport de démons

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Merci beaucoup pour ce gentil commentaire mon ami. J'ai foi que la vie sera meilleure en 2025. J'ai presque autant foi que les Daemons obtiendront un codex. 😁

[@tokens3988]

Keep the grind on boss man you will get there.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Only with bosses like you in my chat! 💪

[@SamuelKellyStudio]

Hey dude, I live in up the coast from you in Newcastle, with friends and family working in secondary teaching, or just finishing up. I also am someone that has always had niche interests and struggled with extreme anxiety/depression - it has always manifested in the most extreme ways surrounding my future, my work, income and how that affects my partner/family + fear of failure. The only thing that I can say, is that you won't be happy or content doing something you hate. When I was 25 (now 28) I quit my miserable job and focused fulltime on sculpting, now I am a Character artist working in videogames... Its still stressful at times, it still feels uncertain at times, and I sometimes punish myself by working 14 hour days to prove to nobody that I am going somewhere.... but that aside, I know that I am in a much better position internally than I was before betting on myself. What I am trying to say, is bet on yourself. Do what you need to do to keep the lights on, even if thats working 2 nights a week at woolies. Then just give your all to your passion. But be aware that you might need to be strategic, expanding your scope to put more irons in the fire. And if you aren't already, talk to a professional. I've been seeing my therapist for 11 years or more, and it just keeps me from imploding. You seem like a nice guy, who is really passionate about this channel, the more allowance you give yourself to make this your job, the more its going to grow both creatively, and financially. You can hit my on my instagram - @samuelkelly_studio - if you ever want to spitball creative ideas with someone local outside who is coming at Warhammer from an art perspective, instead of the wargaming perspective. Goodluck man, bet on yourself.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Holy crap. You just hit the nail on the head bang on for one of the best comments I've ever got mate! Absolutely legendary! Thank you for sharing some of your own story, and I would absolutely love to catch up with you in person and talk shop some time! I won't share Adela's story, but she would love to ask some art questions of you as well. Whenever you're in Sydney you hit me up and let's have a gasbag 😁

[@SamuelKellyStudio]

@@Barnyard-Wargaming Sounds great man! If work slows down I might be in Sydney a bit over Christmas and I'll ping you on instagram!

[@Mt.Helbane]

Life is a rough journey man, sounds like this year was a pretty big mountain to climb but your almost to the top man, and the view is gonna be amazing.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

That analogy is almost as beautiful as you are Helbane. Thank you. ❤️

[@Deathguarddave]

Hi Jack, thank you for sharing this, very brave and open of you. All the best from your Stinky Disgustingly Resilient 40k bros

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

We only just made, and I feel like Ive known you all my life stinky Dave ❤️ Ha! Thanks for being such a gem in this wonderful community of ours!

[@LinkTankShock-RollMasters]

Thanks for sharing people don't understand anxiety I have it so bad that's why I drive a truck because I can't handle most situations anymore like I use to it can keep you down sounds like your looking up we appreciate all you do!! Your the Man definitely will drop the D word and if you read this you need to smile so ......TANK SCHICK!!!!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

I read it. I smiled. I tank shocked. Good day sir. 😅

[@jacob4life]

Lets hope 2025 is the year you pick up Belakor and Shalaxi ^^

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Let's hope they have their abilities changed to something more useful 😅 I would love to play them! Just not the way they are now...

[@marcbowling6451]

I had told you that I can't stand most modern warhammer youtube channels because of the format for bat reps. I had also told you that I really like your channel despite the fact that you follow this format. You had asked me on stream why that was and I couldn't really give you a great answer; I didn't truly know other than I enjoyed your personality. Perhaps now it is a bit more clear. My wife and I both suffer from crippling anxiety and panic attacks. They started the way yours did - we had left a movie and all of a sudden my wife felt like she was having a heart attack. Keep the faith - over time you will surprise yourself how you are able to cope. Everything is worse in the acute phase. Side note, I've worked in Ophthalmology for 15 years and thus know exactly about the occlusion (I assume central retinal artery occlusion) that your dad delt with.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

I've felt exactly the same way about some KZbinrs before. This is exactly what I was aiming for, just to be the most genuine human I can. It's only because of gems in the community that I get to do this for a living. So thank you for giving me a chance and watching along! The views are fantastic but the comments are what make the difference ❤️

[@mohastgridlock]

Please dont sacrifice for too much for KZbin. You're worth more than what Google will provide.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Ha! That's a great way to put it. Don't worry I definitely will not. Maintaining my lazy status is very important to me 😅

[@noob_henry]

Sucks, life is full of rejections and disappointment. I was laid off from my Green Energy job for literally no reason after working there for like 3 months. I was furious and they gave me no reason and I raged hard. But then I got a new web development contract that pays twice as much a few weeks later. You will get lucky and figure life out hang in there. World Economy sucks and people are haters, especially a lot of teachers. Fuck em.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Henry you're speaking in volumes my friend. Damn straight! Fuck em! ☺️💪

[@JamesEarlCash]

My ears permanently ring as well. I'm used to it (in all honesty) after so many years... I think it started when I was 20 or something, mostly due to stress and higher blood pressure. Fucked up stuff, but fortunately - easy to ignore most of the time. At least until I use too much coffeine. At that point it becomes unbearable and I can forget about any sleep. Take care Jackson! We really enjoy your content! Personally, I think your streams are some of the best Warhammer livestreams out there. Keep it up and I really hope your channel will grow!

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

James you are an absolute legend my dude. Thank you for always showing up for my content and always being so kind! You're a gem in this community! ❤️

[@tusertv]

Thanks for sharing your story and concerns. I've been shocked to see so many parallels between your story and my own. I'm also 27, recent graduate, trying and failing to get a foot into the professional market, with a complicated family life, and living with a divorced parent. I also run a small up-and-coming 40k youtube channel, though I've been doing it for only about a year or so. My health problems are not as severe as yours; which btw, I hope you can overcome them soon! Point is (not to make it about me) that seeing these similarities and seeing you face the same difficulties and self-doubt that plague my work on the channel everyday gives me a bit more confidence that, perhaps, it is indeed possible to achieve one's goals, even if each of us gets there in our own unique way! Sending lots of love

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

You absolutely should make it about you! I asked for everyone to share their own stories and I love reading them! 😁 You sound like a great friend in the making ❤️ Whenever you want a collab you just let me know my friend. I hope life gets easier for you too! Thanks for sharing your story. 😊

[@thedeathguardtyrant7628]

You're an absolute legend dude, keep up the great work. I don't catch your livestreams live very often but I love to watch the recaps. You're obviously someone very passionate about this channel and 40k as a whole and it's awesome to see everything you've gotten through. Wishing you all the best, gonna be watching this channel every step of the way going forwards

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

No, you're a legend for such a damn nice comment! Thank you so much! People like you are the reason I'm so passionate about it, and the reason I can post this video in the first place. As long as I keep getting this feedback, I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

[@T-Mo]

Wish you the very best in the future! Get well and stay positive. You are apreciated

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Thank you my friend ❤️ Sending that love right back at you!

[@NZWarsmith]

heart goes out mate, i hope things pick up for you in 2025. hopefully i will be able to watch more streams next year too.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

WARSMITH! Great to hear from you my friend! Thanks for being part of my community and watching along. 😊❤️

[@MrMohoc2000]

As someone with severe PTSD, I can understand where you are coming from. Life will get better over time

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Rest easy my friend. I know that it will, I just need to be patient. Thanks for the lovely comment! 😊

[@MrMohoc2000]

@@Barnyard-Wargaming Let's not forget that you got one of my favorite Warhammer channels. I watch pretty much every video

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Well that is absolute craziness to read first thing in the morning! Thank you! Thank you thank you. 🙏 ❤️

[@piimus9056]

Australia seems like a crappy place. Just as I have thought. Double standards, expensive etc.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

It's a beautiful country! I wouldn't live anywhere else in the world except maybe new Zealand. Behind the fear of the wildlife and the annoyance of the gambling issues we have here.... And the prices. It truly is a majestic landscape. You're welcome to visit anytime 😊

[@piimus9056]

@ I underatand that you have bad experience with gambling but many people make their living hambling and it is a funnactivity. But like many things in life if things are abused, they can destroy lives. Banning gambling just makes addicted people gamble illegally which is even more dangerous.

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

@piimus9056 that's true. Well I mean in my ideal world it just wouldn't exist to begin with, but as you say anything can be abused. After this negative experience I'll always speak ill of it because I am bias, so take that with a grain of salt 😊

[@swabilius]

You probably got the myocarditis from the vaccine, like I did :(

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Exactly right! Covid just made it even worse... 😕

[@cleffa_muffinisbetter]

🫶 just kerp doing what you can

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Always! 💪

[@dianaarmytage1656]

Hi Jac this presentation is very well presented & informative well done👏💕 By

[@Barnyard-Wargaming]

Two comments! I'm spoilt! 😁