What I Found Out About My White Friends - Ralph Porter

Ralph Porter reveals some of the unusual characteristics he learned about his white friends, especially when it comes to spending the night. Originally filmed 0/1/21.
For more Ralph Porter follow him on Instagram @ralphporter
Held every Sunday at the Laugh Factory on the famous Sunset strip, Chocolate Sundaes is unlike any other comedy show you’ve ever seen!
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[@MsAries1968]

My white friends recently bought wash cloths and cocoa butter lotion to make sure I stay over after we party.

[@DJ-ny2jq]

Lol 😆

[@rachethippyproductions]

lmfao facts they don't have wash cloths lmfao learned that when I had white roomates

[@JazzyB9481]

This is actually really sweet 😭

[@Dogen70]

Those are good white friends. keep them well

[@GinaJonesStillettoQueen]

I hollered when I read this! 😆

[@Dark.Casper6]

That announcement is everything whenever you show up to hangout with your white friends. Restaurants, bars, house parties, tailgating , etc. They will make you feel loved. 😂

[@melriquajackson8480]

White ppl make u feel loved? 🤔 how do you feel around your own ppl? If your black ijw?

[@Dark.Casper6]

@@melriquajackson8480 Same…loved. Lol. Not all of “my people” make you feel loved, just like not all of white people make you feel loved. I live in the South…I know my limits.

[@sparklesp9304]

@@Dark.Casper6 I agree 👍💯percent! My white friends have always had my back a lot more than many of my black friends, especially black women. They just disappear when you start talking about racism, lol 😆😂🤣 The struggle.

[@Dark.Casper6]

@@sparklesp9304 I’m from Southwest Louisiana where Hurricane Laura & Delta ripped us a new one last year. If you’re worried about racism, you ain’t from around here.

[@sparklesp9304]

@@Dark.Casper6 Oh, there's definitely still racism. It just depends on what part of the country that you're in, lol. If you're in an area where everyone's essentially mixed on some level either being part Creole or Cajun, you're not going to feel it like in other parts of the country like Oklahoma.

[@nicholasming5976]

As a white guy this is almost cringe how accurate it is.

[@ChocolateSundaes]

😂

[@Dogen70]

That aint cringe. The announcement makes the anxiety of meeting people go away and it's time to party

[@jaxboro]

@@Dogen70 Hell Yeah bro!

[@Nikki-ci5ze]

Lmbooooooo

[@wulver810]

@@Dogen70 doing that and starting chants, gets everyone involved.

[@cbro412]

"Where'd you get a silver sharpie from!?". That went under appreciated 😂😂

[@christophermichael5764]

It really did!

[@jackwanker9429]

Omm

[@maggyachidi5398]

No one even picked up on the heat 😂

[@candyjamaican]

Where’d it come from?? It missed me

[@haywoodjablowme699]

There was a Little Rascals episode where they pretended to have the measles and they all drew red dots on their faces. Except Buckwheat...his were white.

[@blake253]

Went to college and all my friends were white. This is accurate as hell. My roommates grandma would make banana bread for me and send it in his care packages lol

[@willmin439]

That's adorable

[@sluggak1363]

I live banana nut bread

[@BlueLatte-f3f]

Bestie from way back, Swedish. His mom sent him to work with a huge paper bag with handmade lunch for us both, everything made with butter. I waddled for awhile.

[@Nikki-ci5ze]

Awww that’s so sweet!!

[@Chedring]

Banana bread rocks, you're lucky af.

[@dylanpeterson6192]

His "white person" voice, and how quickly he switches to it is subtle and hilarious. All of his white friends must be real "uppity", because they enunciate way better than me & mine LOL

[@emem2863]

Really? His white friends sound like surfer dudes from California who stay high. Lol.

[@thatdudee5344]

@@emem2863 fr lol

[@christopappageorge827]

It’s better than the dorky nasal one that most black comics do.

[@Hylebos75]

Lol uppity?? They sound like a bunch of stoner surfers haha.

[@michaelfrancis7372]

thats college white guy voice...I know it well

[@saywhaa4509]

It’s an essential to always have a white friend that is a great announcer makes the party 1000x better 😂

[@mteokay1246]

Whatcho ass doing there ain't you suppose to be on trial and yo ass locked up fr 99 years?

[@Toxic0N3]

I'm white af and I second this opinion. That dude makes the party way better because he kick starts people conversing who don't know shit about each other lol

[@blakewilkins63]

I’m white and I can confirm this is how me and my bros talk, I don’t even care if it’s goofy it gets ya hype hahaahh

[@maureenhuertas9264]

Lol I just loveeee it!!!!

[@yowcephhelm5910]

Get that shit Blake!

[@OneFlewCuckoo]

Get it Blake

[@IsmokeHiphopLive]

in the army with white friends they all fight to pay the bills 😂….good times

[@dexterroberts631]

Hahahaha

[@Beachboi_Sanchi]

Ong

[@CrystalClearSQL]

That's what's up hooah.

[@Nikki-ci5ze]

Lmbo

[@apexone5502]

You ain’t lying.

[@kevinhall357]

HE'S ON POINT 😂😂😂😂 I HAD SOME WHITE FRIENDS ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO AND THEY WERE THE EXACT SAME WAY, GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES

[@imemailingmybrother]

10 years ago?? Bro what did you do lol

[@melriquajackson8480]

Ten years ago?? You wisened up. They're not all bad but most of them are sus. My best and basically only friend is white and he definitely agrees ijs no shade 😂

[@imemailingmybrother]

@@melriquajackson8480 at least you can admit you are racist. At least you don't seem like a violent one 👍🏻

[@kevinhall357]

@@imemailingmybrother 😂😂😂😂 I STOPPED BEING BENEFICIAL TO THEM SO WE STOPPED HANGING OUT, THE FUNNY THING IS A COUPLE YEARS AGO I GOT BACK IN CONTACT WITH ONE OF THEM AND WE WAS SUPPOSED TO HANGOUT BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED

[@melriquajackson8480]

@@imemailingmybrother okay dummy

[@espectrodelayautja6320]

100% accurate. When I go drinking with them, I plan to stay the night. You’re not leaving. Lol

[@parkerflemmings]

😂😂Facts

[@serrecewinter8119]

don't forget your weekend bad

[@mrwilliams7086]

Straight facts 😎😎 love those guys 😂😂

[@haulistic7569]

They'll fight you about that shit lol

[@fordtoy2000]

I'm Navajo and same thing happened to me, wound up at a costume party in a college town with a friend and woke up in the middle of the night and I was Mr. Popular and shaking hands, talking, smiling... until I went into the bathroom. Phallus drawn on my face with a red Sharpie. "Now you're one of us, man!" But, it was a fun night. LOL

[@ThePersonToBlame]

This guy has good stage presence, seems like he would be a great opener to get the crowd pumped.

[@GinaJonesStillettoQueen]

Facts

[@FloeticEnigma]

That was hilarious. I’ve said for a long time, I feel bad for people who are closed-minded and don’t form relationships with people from different cultural backgrounds. There’s so much you can learn and enjoy from having a variety of people around you and in your life. We can form friendships based on what we have in common, but really enjoy the differences as well.

[@enzomthethwa5861]

OMG I totally called it when he described white people announcing to the party that you've arrived. I fucking LOST IT. I said it at the same time: "Hey everybody!" 💀💀💀

[@TheOfficialSven]

bruh had me dead "hope he didnt trace it". gold

[@rushgotjokes]

I wrote that and performed it at his show 🤷🏽‍♂️ Ask anyone in Seattle who’s joke that is

[@WickedGrim340]

And I'm pretty sure no one would say you ☠

Damn his covid mask joke didn’t get enough laughs 😂 it was gold

[@testing123.]

Yeh, a homie I fell out with had a new mask to her face and said, "this mask smells weird" and was too to shy tell her it's probably not the mask

[@bwholellc5001]

Yessss so funny

[@nBasedAce]

Hello, white guy here. Just discovered your channel and it's fucking awesome. I am autistic and have a hard time relating to people which makes it hard to enjoy stand up, but this guy is awesome. Strangely enough, I seem to relate more to non white people.

[@BangiranaAllan]

'Creeping back in a closet' 😂😂

[@mr.jenkins1037]

I literally think my neighbors heard me laughing at the end🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣

[@enzomthethwa5861]

He did a great California surfer dude impression!

[@8kigana]

yeah they don't talk like that in the east coast.

[@tamarastone141]

@@8kigana nope, not in the mid west either

[@angellee9307]

My child called me, “ dude “ . ONCE😳

[@dialatedmcd]

All black people's white voices sound ever so slightly gay. Then again a lot of white people are little almost elf-like beings.

[@yvetterene]

I loved hanging out with my white friends when I was younger. No judgment, and fun! 😂😂❤️❤️

[@801leggy]

I moved from Washington Heights NY, to Reno NV in the mid 90s for my middle and high school years. I can confirm that this is 100% accurate. My white friends stayed partying 24/7! When I showed up, they kicked it into overdrive LOL. "Leggy's here! Let's go get a fk'n keg!" 🎉🍻🥳😂😂😂

[@Aiyan777]

Never laughed so hard and almost passed myself at "Bro" 😆 He nailed it with the impersonation and voice and everything!!! Lmfao!!!

[@ChrisandTyCox]

He sounds like Denzel Washington

[@migrantson]

Lol I can't unhear that now. Thx

[@KiamKweli]

My ninja. 😂

[@matshadi1999]

I hear it now. Before your comment I didn't. 😂😂😂😂

[@Tiara82788]

He sounds NOTHING like Denzel tf 🧐😩

[@Tiara82788]

I stand corrected 😩💯🤣

[@raymondharris6599]

This was a DAMN GOOD SET!!! It's very rare for me to find a comic clip that can have me laughing from the beginning, until the end. TOO FUNNY!!!😅🤣😂

[@augustusbrown5320]

I agree

[@angellee9307]

Liking his truthful performance 💜👍🏽

[@IAMNOTAYOUTUBER]

He should work on a Denzel Washington impression. He has the tone

[@angelasmith5351]

I thought I was the only person that noticed.

[@tim.noonan]

He’s got the ‘uncle rasp’

[@bighomieJ5X]

They still make them car beds? 🤣🤣🤣

[@shainahumphrey3402]

Lol Yeaa, my aunt just bought one last year.

[@Boogy816]

Maaan my white homies be going HARD! If you go to they house to drink you ain't got no choice but to stay the night fr 🤣

[@SugaBee]

They was killing they selves 😆

[@serrecewinter8119]

non of my white friends believed in drinking and driving but apparently snorting a line or smoking crack is okay and I'm like opening the door to jump out but they won't even let you walk home drunk your right

[@skyybutter1]

If you drunk, better to do some coke to sober up some. Makes the drive sooo good!

[@Boogy816]

@@skyybutter1 facts

[@adriannune8241]

You could kill someone doing that tho

[@brokenstereotype]

Don’t get me started, they wouldn’t let me drive my own car because i was drunk. The white dude that INSISTED that he drive was on mushrooms.

[@samharris246]

I am white and usually end up with cocaine when I drink.

[@PaulSmith-nb6md]

This was my entire experience moving to Indiana as an adult

[@martymcflyyy3157]

What part? I'm from indianapolis...lol

[@PaulSmith-nb6md]

@@martymcflyyy3157 Brownsburg, it's near Avon and about 15 minutes from Indy

[@martymcflyyy3157]

I know exactly where that is..lol..

[@seapeajones]

What is this, Narnia, OMG 😂

[@FactStorm]

2:33 Hilarious how he mentioned Narnia because moments earlier it crossed my mind when he talked about creepin in the closet with the quiet voice! I made a joke to myself about it being Narnia, then what do you know? He says it soon after! XD

[@charlareese8871]

Laughed out loud with Narnia mention, perfectly fit for visual and magical "mood" going on!!🤣💯 But already thought Narnia!! That's cool!!

[@HueyDaKid69]

That mask joke tho 😂 Wearing a mask will humble you about your breath tho lol caught some ugly whiffs of my own breath a few times. Thanks to Covid I keep mouthwash in the car now 😂

[@BangiranaAllan]

True story

[@SCBB24]

That’s called dry tongue syndrome, handle that lol

[@HueyDaKid69]

@@SCBB24 ah yes. That's the only cause of not so fresh breath lol

[@myrhev]

@@HueyDaKid69 No but he was talking about hitting the back. A lot of bad breath comes from not brushing your tongue too.

[@HueyDaKid69]

@@myrhev true true!!

[@Thatkenyannigga]

Had me in stitches 🤣🤣🤣

[@ricardorivera8480]

So damn true

[@howardlee8486]

He has Martin Lawrence vibes and charisma. I love it. Very good stage presence. Funny dude.

[@3Y3ECE]

By far the best impersonation of white people I've seen yet. I was that guy... bwahahahaa

[@justachad6494]

We take care of our friends…we’ll also teabag your unconscious body. You know, cause you’re our friend lol.

[@philcollin5891]

Jesus hahahaha

[@narinamarajh4273]

I need to get me some white friends ...

[@jugolugorigenial]

Very convenient! Only person you got to call when you on the way to jail. They'll be at the precinct before you!

[@scottvermiliion927]

Just say Hi

[@narinamarajh4273]

@@scottvermiliion927 hi

[@Dogen70]

A good set of white friends will open doors especially if you can drink. Don't out do them but be just the right drunk

[@naturalwalker5407]

And they offer free legal services too

[@etfjordan3473]

“Oh just me? Just me?” He a fool for that💀😭

[@pnw_al253]

Shout out to my guy Ralph Porter we used to hang out at Nate Jackson comedy show!! I'm glad you still doing yo thang!

[@christophermichael5764]

This was actually kinda wholesome.

[@RingsOfSolace]

Bro this impression is way too fucking accurate lmao I legit know people like that

[@Furantzu]

Most americans and canadians down here in Baja Mexico are somewhat like that, love talking to them, theyre always cheery and have an amazing sense of humour.

[@natbrownizzle1387]

Races are there, so we can laugh at each other, fucking love this ^^

[@TobyIsAWoman]

The breakfast portion reminded me of how I became a fat kid. I became best friend with a white girl and I slept over at her house a lot. Them people can eat. The thing is they have a variety of options so they get real creative with that shit. I remember going to her house for the first time and being given a chocolate bar when I left. That was the day I knew I had to lock that bitch down and be her best friend. 😂😂😂 Back home we only had eggs on Saturdays. 😂😂😂

[@wayofthegun6224]

😂😂😂

[@ZachariaYonis]

Ralph got mad jokes man lol

[@CameoRoyale.]

Lolol definitely naturally funny. You make it look so easy!😂

[@shaunaleessnackidies]

Laughed the whole time 😂 so true

[@dennesey]

I clapped the sh** out of the like button. Gooood set.

[@DidierDubz]

Finally, a COVID joke. 👏👏👏👏😂😂✌❤☀

[@F14Goose37]

I thought it was alright until he said "I hope to God he didn't trace this shit" abd then I died 🤣

[@nlee6038]

Of course there's always breakfast in the morning. That's are way of saying "Thank-you!" "Hope you enjoyed yourself last night.. Now get the f*ck out. We gotta goto work... But Bro! Bro! Next weekend Huh? What you say.. It's at Jeff's house.. Lol

[@praise777always9]

HILARIOUS!!!!🤣😂🤣😂👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

[@xoxoshaneandmexoxo]

This feels like a lost depiction of white men thank u

[@prettysillynelli]

This is soo surprisingly accurate 😂 🤣 😅

[@pragmaticpuppy2715]

Ralph is mad funny lol. I also liked his other video here.

[@guestname5141]

All around great set.

[@ihatevice]

3:25 “I’m think I’m goin home” I’m done with this dude 😂😂😂

[@shamanllama]

yo his white college boy is PERFECT. BRUH. 😂😂😂😂

[@living9377]

The last dick joke at the end was funny. All the way around and down the back. Roflmao!

[@windowbreezes]

hahaha "yeaa...im tryna to look at myself."

[@Loveismyteacher]

Great set! Hilarious!

[@AmikYoungDon]

Never thought DMX could be this funny 🤣🤣

[@gwendolynross1674]

What is this, Narnia? 🤣🤣 I am weak!

[@bigmickeyfickey]

Dude is Authentically Hilarious in this skit.....and Accurate as Hell!

[@Erika-be9hq]

Hilarious set!! 🤣😂🤣😂

[@kirtywright1974]

This is why I #LOVE stand up💯 I love it when the audience is as hyped too! I watch some, and it’s like some line’s just go flying over some audience members head, and I think 🤔 How are you not laughing hysterically right now?! You should be rolling around on the floor! Tear’s streaming down your face! Hats off to Ralph! From start to finish?! This guy had me in stitches😂🤣😆 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 😂🤣😆

[@ablejohnson]

Priceless!!!!

[@hugomolinaOG]

This dude is funny as hell 😂😂😂

[@anon2414]

I couldn't stop laughing lol "fuck yea"

[@meenameen247]

Hilarious 🤣❤️

[@mzblkcarib186]

Brahahaha 😂😂😂 Ralphs' here!!!

[@renovatio93]

Great way to approach racial jokes. In good taste.

[@MasterPoseidon]

More of Ralph Porter please🥲

[@bigmickeyfickey]

"Hey EVERYBODY....! Raaaaaaalph's Hereeeeeee!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@noahfrey.]

He does a really good “drunk white frat kid” voice

[@RichRotorhead]

Where did you get a silver sharpie from? 😂😁😂

[@atyusriggins3824]

This guy was good lmfao🤣

[@NathanielBowden]

In the words of Dave Chappelle “ A mf will kill you for some shit like that!”

[@RoninJoegenji0085]

Lmao this was amazing

[@jasonjasper4]

Excellent storytelling

[@Dogen70]

The introduction to their party is always about like that. You gon know everybody in less than 5 minutes flat and be drunk as hell with them 5 more minutes after that. Jaegermeister anyone?

[@mr.worldwidekevinj4144]

This guy is toooooooooooo funny wow

[@southtoe3607]

"I'm tryna look at myself I'm like "*&YEAH*#($" that one got me lmao

[@observantmonkey4055]

lol the fucking with ppl part is hilarious. especially after a roast session. mayo in someones mouth or hot sauce on the lip. a bucket of water. you learn real quick to stay up last. and its a great laugh in the morning when someone has that "wow..really?" look on their face hahahaa

[@26gdagod.62]

Underrated asfuckkkk‼️

[@vesperannstas]

This had me in TEARS!!!!

[@kenyattawillingham]

Rolliinnng!! 🤣😂😂🤣😂

[@antarahibnshaddad7725]

On god

[@jashanestone]

What human adult with a crib don't have extra toothbrushes? 🤔 Always keep 3 or a pack.. 😉

[@scottvermiliion927]

It's cheaper to by those family 5 packs...so you've always got extras.

[@chumaokafor8214]

Bruh this got me dying!!!😭

[@DevonnyDX]

takes me right back to college! that's *exactly* what that's like!

[@StupidEpiphany]

Dude I'm fucking crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣 he's not lyinggg

[@ghfjfghjasdfasdf]

Super interesting comment section. The comedy bit was hilarious.

[@cococaine1226]

"I hope to God he didn't trace this sh*t" 🤣🤣🤣I'm dying.

[@Michel1234-n3t]

He was hilarious last night at the Laugh Factory in Vegas!!!!

[@WaltLQ]

He definitely got some Martin Lawrence influence. 🤣 Funny

[@DevanBrownProductions]

@ 2:20 .... Accurate AF 😂😂😂 It really be like that!

[@ラッセル9728]

1:31 "creeping back into a closet" sent me