What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict?

desiringGod.org

[@morriswilburn9858]

I never saw my parents fight, or even raise their voices toward the other. I know that many people will be skeptical of this claim, but it is true. One of the reasons for this peace is that each loved the other more than they loved themselves. Another is that my father only exercised his authority to resolve disputes when the dispute was over something especially important, and even then he did not do so in a domineering manner. He also greatly valued my mother’s council.

[@rikrik4431]

I was raised the same what a awsum marriage.

[@yeahyeahyeah2935]

What a wonderful thing!

[@robertnoles3424]

Hi Morris! I know exactly what you mean. My parents were married for 53 years and my mother stayed to my father after he died and was buried. She made the statement that she was still marred to my father and wanted no other man. I can say truthly, like you, I never once heard them argue or fight. They were married in 1942 before my father went over seas to Australia and the Pacific for WWII. I was born in 47. My father died in 95 and my mother in 06. Again, I never heard across word between them. That makes for a magnificent childhood. We were both blessed with fantastic parents.

[@acharich]

💥❤💥

[@tinashema6988]

Morris Wilburn I wished I was your sister and they my parents

[@cd2612]

Just over a month ago I did everything Pastor John said with my husband after the Lord through His wisdom brought some things to my attention. My husband turned around and blamed me 100% for what he was doing. My heart was crushed and I cried so much but God comforted me and gave me peace that I had done the right thing.

[@nancywelch7503]

When doing what God wants us to do is never in vain

[@TheWarriorLV]

He has to meet you half way. Pray for God to open His eyes- if God is leading you hold on, a breakthrough in your marriage is coming. Keep going

[@cd2612]

@@TheWarriorLV Amen. Thanks for the encouraging words. God bless you

[@TheWarriorLV]

C D 💛

[@HaleySanchez22]

C D don't give up! Your response and reactions are to ultimately glorify God and your reward will be in heaven. God work on her husband's heart!

[@SingMiaSong]

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭15:1‬ ‭ As a wife, I can say I’ve failed many times to have a gentle response to some things my husband has done or said, likewise my husband has also failed at this many times. I believe this specific jewel of wisdom found in proverbs can guide us in the righteous direction in terms of how we deal with each other in marriage in order to avoid conflict and discord. One thing that is extremely important in marriage as well is for both parties to be of one accord when it comes to being open for self-improvement and not shifting blame on one another. At the end of the day , we are all imperfect , we are all flawed and a lot of times we are also blind to our own faults as well.. sounds like a recipe for disaster doesn’t it?!😭😩🤦🏻‍♀️ so like John said, our first response should be to go to the one who holds the heart of our spouse in His hands. Pray! Fast & seek the will of God concerning every situation in your marriage.

[@mj7335]

Read: Laura Doyle First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and then put it into practice.

[@SingMiaSong]

@@mj7335 will definitely check it out!

[@mj7335]

@@SingMiaSong Let me know if you find anything better or as good. Thank you.

[@SingMiaSong]

@@mj7335 ok! thanks!

[@commy741]

Am fasting to restore my marriage 🙌🙌have gone through alots this 2years...God please restore marriage,show my husband that am going to be a proverb 31, woman (virtuous woman).. I will keep my marriage standing in Jesus name..🙏🙏🙏

[@RosannaMiller]

This one touched my heart. The Lord Jesus bless Pastor Piper for his love of the Way, Truth, and Life!!

[@shereepfeiffer6356]

I have lived alot of my life as a single Mum, have hung with muso's and druggo's and worked in disabilities (violent ones), so i have copped alot of yuk in my life, so if you think you will shock me you are probably mistaken. I would just like to say that my life is happier than ever now and having a Christian husband has made for a wonderful relationship here on earth. My husband has a very responsible role as leader and i am very blessed to have him.

[@anappealtoheaven852]

In contemporary society I don't think most of us are aware of or prepared for the roles of humility and sacrifice in our relationships and vocations and just the everyday dealings of day-to-day life. I know that until a Christian friend pushed me to read the bible regularly I wasn't. Having this awareness - though I still stumble with both humility and sacrifice so often - has changed me and my life for the better. Thank you for wonderful answer to that question.

[@eve3363]

The Holy Spirit revealed to me as born again Christians, the Faith is more important than our feelings. So whenever I get angry or upset, I remember what the Holy Spirit said.

[@cls5258]

Love you Pastor. Ive learned and grown more from watching one yr of your videos than i did in all my 14 yrs as a believer. Im truly truly thankful for you, especially on days like today when I am overwhelmed with stress

[@gennyjoe686]

I don't know if it's just me that thinks that godly women keep looking for ways to make their marriage better by reading books or watching videos like this but the men don't usually watch these things. It's either sports or politics so it's hard to explain certain things to them.

[@ghostsauce2978]

Well I'm a man watching this video.

[@quinove8567]

ghost sauce I know it’s late but I appreciate that 😊 Can we talk ? I know you LEGIT don’t know me but I want to ask a man questions (crazy I know .) thank you 😆

[@gennyjoe686]

@chewmanga drostodsadly, I think you are right. I apologize on behalf of all the women who don't appreciate the efforts men put in.

[@jodyelms]

I'm a man. I just watched it. And I dont watch sports or politics.😊

[@LM-hb6yn]

To the men who replied, I think the point is that MOST men won't. There are always exceptions to just about every rule. But generally speaking, women are more geared towards relationships and therefore more apt to seek for ways to improve their marriages. Men are much less apt to do so IN GENERAL. I congratulate you who are the exceptions. I think that as a man seeks God and draws closer to God, he is more likely to want to learn how to be a better husband.

[@diligentgrace]

Remember God gives us different seasons. pain is better than laughter for it has a refining effect on our souls.

[@oliviasparks4380]

That's beautiful

[@acharich]

😅

[@MJ-jq4kc]

Absolutely agree.

[@devipriyaaugustine4387]

Amen Thank you Lord Jesus

[@SABOOTCAMP]

Difine pain sister? Sinfulness is the greatest kind of pain. How do we endure throughout that.

[@TVi-jm8ns]

What a humble wonderful man of God Pastor Piper is. Thank you Pastor for sharing the wisdom our Almighty Lord provides you. To God be the glory forever and ever, Amen 🙏

[@mel8469]

Godless men will forever be weak men. Men who love the LORD will do as the Lord requires it's pretty simple if you ask me.

[@jking309]

Mel amen

[@cherylmcpherson6246]

Not quite that simple though😳

[@LordAlmightyIAm]

Your first son is weak.

[@mel8469]

God is the King of logic He's also one who is direct and straight to the point no in between with Him.If He said to love Him you have to,same thing if He said you will die you will there's no arguing with God. We shouldn't argue with someone who can't lie

[@LordAlmightyIAm]

@@mel8469 A man I dont fear will never be a King to me. You kneel to a fake puny King, and i pity you for this. The hand of your so called King has no weight on my shoulder.

[@rejoicerejoiceemmanuel2762]

I wish my husband knew this. I find a lot of men don't know the fundamental things of how to be a husband and a father, especially the broken and damaged ones. They go around breaking lives as they go along.

[@rejoicerejoiceemmanuel2762]

@S M. Thanks but you know what he chose the world and got snared' by it

[@elainnajones9107]

I disagree. Its not up to women to fix men and show them. They need to fix themselves before seeking marraige. I didnt break him I cant fix him.

[@Kernando]

@@elainnajones9107 True, but the problem is now in marriage you have become one person, with equal responsibility for the other. Ultimately it is his choice of course, and we can not fix other people. But we also have to fight through prayer for our loved ones, especially the one we love the most, even if our feelings are not the same as they once were.

[@framboise595]

@@elainnajones9107 As if women did not need fixing ...

[@jeanpaulgartier3404]

@S M. Fairytale women, think they're in beauty and the beast

[@aidabarreto9299]

If only my husband will listen on certain difficulty situations; good suggestion Pastor Piper, I will follow it, thank you. Praise God

[@Pito201298]

Thank you so much for sharing that for us wives and any husband's that are watching. I applaud you for your courage to answer a difficult question, i thank you for being humble and not allowing pride to get in the way! GOD bless you and your family.

[@greek_latina]

This is so helpful and what was needed. Thank you! 🙏🏽💗

[@Unconformed.RenewedDaily]

Great insight yet again from #JohnPiper, I hope we can all appreciate the wisdom shared. Piper brings us first to the significance of the word of God on our perspective but he leans further as he wakes us up to a wrong, sometimes complacent attitude we can have in our relationships. Thanks again John, may our Lord Jesus Christ continue to faithfully lead you in these discussions. Grace and Peace to you all.

[@Brittanysplittany]

Not sure why all these people are arguing in the comments, but I just wanted to say that, as a God-fearing wife, this has really helped me! It's a great reminder for me to be gentle, humble, and loving when approaching my husband about an issue, and I just love videos like this that help marriages from the Christian perspective. Thank you :)

[@loveoflife709]

Respect and obey

[@gardentenderslandscaping4235]

Wow. This helped me Alot. Please Lord I ask that I would rise and step up my leadership

[@sallyironic4251]

Ladies I prayed and it WORKS!! Bow on your knees covering your feet and head like Moses and ASK. Fast if you have too because it works faster. YIPPIE!! Hubby cant see it, Pastor too focused on the men being the head. GO TO GOD THROUGH CHRIST. He sees it, he knows it, he understands it, and he is "no respecter of persons". Please do yourself a big favour, Go to the ultimate authority and you will never complain about your husband again even if you coke has no ice.

[@framboise595]

@ Sally Ironic God does not tell wives to pray but to be SUBMISSIVE in everything.

[@sallyironic4251]

@@framboise595 Really? So if you husband told you to have group sex you would? Remember what you just said, be submissive now. No need to go to Christ in prayer. You need to focus on your relationship to Christ, because that is who we should be following and HE is our Saviour.

[@sallyironic4251]

@@framboise595 Oh and PS God answered my prayers, so HE HEARD ME, and helped me, are you also telling me that God was WRONG in answering my prayers?

[@framboise595]

@@sallyironic4251 Group sex ? You really think a man who serves the Lord would want to have "group sex" ?

[@sallyironic4251]

@@framboise595 There are plenty of prophesying Christian men who turn to prostitutes, in fact many preachers are their best customers. Many preachers rape, and steal and do all manners of sin. GET REAL with Christ and STOP WORSHIPPING MEN. Worship Jesus Christ the Son of the LIVING GOD.

[@racheldaniels8803]

Wow I like what you said at 1;58... We are under the Lord for themselves... Very true we see problems faster Nd before something arises. Thank u so much for your counsel 🙏😍

[@fngvideos8565]

I can appreciate this right here. Thank you for sharing this

[@lucyhuppert6694]

Thank you, this is exactly what I needed this morning!

[@ericfransen8812]

The question is about “…a wife’s responsibility in solving marital conflict,” yet the response ends up being about what the man needs to do better, different, etc. Should a husband go sulk because he was shown a lack of gratitude by his wife? No - but neither should he say “I’m sorry, let me try again.” In the example given, her responsibility is to first show gratitude and appreciation for his efforts, adding that she would appreciate ice and reminding him that their child needs a different type of juice. (He also needs to be responsible to remember some simple needs & preferences, because a thoughtful act isn't very thoughtful if it's not with the other persons' needs & preferences in mind). Too often, however, women are deprived of the feedback they need to improve, and men are told to follow the destructive (even if well-meaning) advice of the sort given here, and the consequence is an absolute plague of narcissistic wives running their marriage and the entire household using methods of guilt and manipulation. I suspect that very few of them are doing so consciously. Most, I think, are actually doing so subconsciously out of habits formed by their poorly instructed husband following the kind of advice being given in this video. Relying on such advice, we reward and reinforce negative behaviors until our wives are narcissistic and self-centered; then we become bitter and resentful, and go “sit and sulk.” Eventually that sulking becomes a divorce, an affair, or worse. It's past time that we confront the responsibilities of women & wives; not just men & husbands.

[@olathecomedian]

Great wisdom in this video, however, I'm not quite sure if it is a flawed cultural interpretation or a divine scriptural interpretation that if a man is dejected about the way he has been spoken to and this affects his performance as a servant leader, that this equates to "sulking" and "self-pity". Is there a biblical mandate for men to be emotionally bulletproof? Or was this just a way to take the edge off the culturally uncomfortable topic of women's specific responsibility?

[@jeremyfleming2164]

I agree on the response in that a Husband should lead and overcome the offense and not sulk, but Im amazed that He did not address the ungratefulness and disrespect that the wife showed the husband, especially when she disrespected him publicly. I feel that too many tiptoe around anything that is confrontational to women. Truth is there is an epidemic of irresponsible men that don't Love their wives as they should and don't lead their families spiritually or otherwise, but there also is an epidemic of women that don't respect, value or honor there husbands. Word needs to be done on both side. Its not only WHAT is said, but he WAY it is said. I would argue that both are equally important. What good is truth without love?

[@billycothran5989]

Great teaching!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@jessefoster2308]

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

[@eileenfisher587]

Married in 1987 , my husband and i had 7 children. For years i disobeyed God by refusing to stay away from him during his drug addiction. It hurt me and the children - not physical abuse but financial and emotional abuse definately. He was also involved with other women but i chose to forgive and stand in faith for his deliverance from all that and his conversion. But i was in disobedience by not leaving him completely in Gods hands and waiting patiently from afar. I dragged my children thru so much l9ss and hardship - homelessness and lack. After awhile i became bitter and took the first opportunity to be comforted by another man. ( adultery) i told my husband over the phone that i was going to. I didnt want to be deceitful. How dumb bcause i was being deceitful and sinning against God. So my Husband & i have been apart now for 15 years - we are grandparents now. He claims to be married to someone else but he claimed that the last relationship he was in. But i never got any papers of divorcement. The last time he said he married another - it was annulled soon after on the grounds of him already being married to me ( he hadnt divorced me) Here we are hes 60 now and im in my fifties - and im still hoping our legacy

[@eileenfisher587]

Ooops accidently tapped the button but the end of my sentence is -- i want family wholeness in Christ. I fully repented years ago and want the live and mercy of God to be displayed by us to our children & grandchildren. He acts like he hates me but i know he is just hurt bcause he thought i would never be with another man. In Gods eyes im forgiven and never have done that. Glory to God forever

[@xavierthomas5835]

​@@eileenfisher587 Hello Miss Eileen, I'm hoping you have the love of God restored in your marriage and may he bless your doings always. You have recieved that your heart is right and renewed with God right? then your God shall renew all things according to his riches in glory. if I may be blunt, though, it wasn't that you were being disobedient by staying with him. It was that your heart didn't have true love for him because love endures all things like 1 Corinthians 13 says. Secondly, it was the Devil's deception that caused you to think that you should be apart from him in his time of need. Yes, your children suffered, and yes you struggled, but there is nothing that God cannot heal nor any thing he can't provide. He was hoping you would stand still instead of trying to make your own way. Now, though, you have renewed hope in God and a fresh perspective on the situation and here is all you should do: reconcile. If you are still married than you are still responsible for one another and that means we don't wait until someone is better to try to make it work we go in and we preach the Gospel like never before. We hope and we tryst and we patiently wait for the salvation of the Lord. Or, as an aside, you have all right to ask for a divorce, now that he has consented to go unto others. Your heart though sounds willing to accept him again, so I give you my God's word that there is nothing impossible, including for God to save am unbelieving husband or restore dead or broken things so for decades. Remember the woman with the issue of blood was sick 15 years before she was found by Jesus. Yet she was restored and that in abundance of the life and joy and inclusion of Christ with himself because God called her a daughter

[@pgtips4240]

​@@xavierthomas5835You have a real self righteous tone about you. The woman admitted she made mistakes and no one is perfect.

[@dkadwoa4114]

Popped up on my feed this morning 🌞!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!! and thanks for sharing sir....

[@melissahaneline6544]

That wife in the example may have been creating the conflict & John gives her a total pass! Yikes! He says the husband "blew it" but my guess is that was perhaps not the case. How about the woman be thankful that the man got her something at all? Drink it without the ice or the complaint? Wives in general are better than this, & it grieves me that he set this up as some normal occurrence & that the "solution" was for this poor guy to remember his marching orders next time & get whatever most pleases this woman. How's that conducive to her growth? Ladies, we have to grow up because it would appear that our credibility with too many men is far lower than it needs to be.

[@summerrose4286]

Melissa Haneline yes, i thought this, too. i have seen both parties act like this and i cringe.

[@summerrose4286]

but i think he was just trying to show an example

[@belpri633]

hallelujah for the truth

[@crosscollisionhope]

I did notice this, and it may be because he puts instruction on men harder given their role as a leaders. Yes, of course a wife should also be forgiving and gentle and thankful, but anyone with an earthly leader or authority of any kind will want the utter best out of them. Just think about how we naturally behave with our own parents, or police, or even presidents when we don’t get what we want. ( I’m not even all that political or taking sides it’s just an analogy) you are both utterly for each other and under the same mission. I’m not trying to defend him, intact i agree that this question was something that should have been answered more towards her. But it was for good intent, for to whom much is given much is required.

[@framboise595]

@@crosscollisionhope A wife has to SUBMIT in everything . But of course cowards are harder on men because society hates men and it is very easy to follow society.

[@hotice8885]

He gets a direct question about a wife's responsibility, and turns it into a mocking, finger-pointing lecture to men about their faults (in this case, a _manufactured_ fault). And he wouldn't even give *that* until he first got defensive over a man being the head of his wife, smh. I kept listening, as he didn't even mention a responsibility; he mentioned two things she "should" do--both of which come from a belief of her being intrinsically "better." I am seeing more direct answers from some of the women in the comment section! How are pastors going to help people have better marriages when they spend 96% of their time and energy emphasizing responsibilities of *only* men?

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

You are right. If you listen to many of John Piper's videos you will find him almot always in direct opposition to scripture teaching and common sense. This man is Satan's minion on Sheepdog's clothing. He is not a man of God. He always sides with woman and to the destruction of the family.

[@des711]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 Seek God. Read Jesus's words in the new testament

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@des711 des, I found God decades ago. He was not hiding. Exactly what words of Jesus are you referring to. He said many things. I suggest you read Paul's commands on marriage in Eph 5. If a wife is in subnission to her husband there can be no prolonged marital conflict since she will submit to her husband/s leadership. and not argue with him. It really is that simple, 1) Christians marry other Christians. 2) The wife submits to her own husband as God;s representative in her family. 3) The husband leads with love, not perfectly but with good intent. It is near impossible for a husband to fight with a wife who says and reaaly means, "yes, dear." Our culture has reversed this and chaos has resulted.

[@JohnoPete]

I missed it... I heard that the husband is supposed to pray, admit fault, be humble when he’s wrong if his wife corrects him... Wife is to pray, point out her husband’s blindspots, and correct her husband? Is that all? I didn’t see how the Christ/Church marriage analogy applies in his answer. Please forgive me being so forward, but it seems that many teachings in Christian circles tend to speak boldly towards husband responsibilities, but not towards those of the wife.... Are wives not also to be confronted on their sins and blindspots?

[@framboise595]

@ John Michael But you should not be ashamed to be so forward because there is such a lack of frankness and boldness in modern Christian circles ..may not be too politically correct to address all the evils of modern women . Actually , women are NOT told about their duties anymore . Where has Titus 2:4 gone ?? In my own church , yet not in the same country as Piper , the teacher focused on how a husband should "love "his wife but not a word on my duties as a wife. There is an evil feminist spirit screwing the whole western Christianity. I don't want to hear those "pastors" anymore.

[@wallboi7]

He's dealing with the one place where the analogy of Christ and the Church break down. The husband is not sovereign like God, therefore he needs a "helper" fit to support him. He's also showing that even though God is sovereign and in control, he still involves the agency of his church to act. Therefore women need to act and be dynamic supporters of their husbands. They should have their own relationship with God that leads them to advise their husbands, not just take a back seat.

[@jcrockett870]

His answer was a husbands responsibility, not the wives.

[@priscillas111]

Oh thank you and God bless you for this. I was having a pity-party and was so about ready to just say enough is enough... but here we go, words of wisdom being poured out on me and I’m being reminded who I am :). Thank you and God bless you richly!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Except that what Piper said was all lies and folly he proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Yu are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.

[@tramainebass3371]

I disagree with you saying that he is wrong. Each has a responsibility of seeking out Christ as individuals to have an independent relationship with our Lord and Savior. We also have a responsibility to stay within our God designed and created roles. Husbands - through love - lead, protect, and provide. Wives, out of love, submit to the headship of the husband. What you are describing is the functionality of roles within the confines of the marriage, for which is a representative of the image of the relationship between Christ and the church. We both are created in the image (likeness and essence) of God; however, in our differences we have different functions.

[@maggielinea]

I love what he said at 3:40

[@vanessamaiato3894]

Humbly receptive at 3:40. What if he's defensive? What if he attacks every word you say? What if he starts banging on his car when you share your feeling? What then?

[@xXKingReptarXx]

Why does it come down to finding a way to submissively tell your husband he’s wrong? That’s seems to me contradicting. Can we as the church find a way to submissively tell Jesus he’s wrong? I don’t think that would go over too well. You don’t just humbly find ways to cut your husband down a notch. He’s a lot smarter than you give him credit for, just in different ways than the wife. If he’s a godly man he’ll correct his actions as the Holy Spirit convicts him. As far as the soda goes, I think there’s a bit too much neuroticism in someone who gets upset over that. If my wife were to bring me a soda, ice or no ice I would be thankful and drink the darn thing. Who with a healthy mind criticizes someone’s acts of service. That’s probably a big part of what’s wrong with today’s church. If you have someone that cares enough about you to be of service to you (which is what spouses should do) DO NOT take them for granted. You may one day find yourself alone and realize how insignificant you are to everyone else.

[@4Peaches1]

Whew! Great teaching MOG!

[@NinjaMag]

Wives should pray that God show her mistakes to her and her husband's mistakes to her husband..... But Christian women pray that her husband's mistakes are shown both to her and her husband.

[@hisdevotedchurch]

As a fiancè with a 3 year old, this hits home lol thank you John

[@alexzfrost8254]

Please pray for my husband Jeremy. He has bipolar disorder and is in a very dark place. He has become bitter and angry. He has been saying he wants to give up on life. He is a believer but he has quit going to church and reading the Bible. He says he can no longer hear Gods voice and is lost. He's making financial mistakes that are concerning me. We have a young son who needs his daddy to be okay again. Please pray for him. Thank you for your prayers ♡

[@jerryholbrook13]

Men can put things in the heart. Simply speak

[@jcrockett870]

He dodged the question because he is too afraid.

[@graphicsdesignbeforeafter]

What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict? I thought this was the question, it has turned out to be whats the husbands responsibility. Can't any question touching how women behavior be answered without mingling men? That's a problem with the society, women are not being told the truth about what is their role in life e.g according to...Proverbs 31:10-31...*17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.---Today she is a...fill in the gaps.....not all women though!

[@acharich]

Not sure about that..

[@saulcuello9622]

I agree John piper was supposed to read first Peter chapter 3 verse 1 to 6 and not read verse seven… jcrockett and Ted m, you guys are right, and acharich speaks didn't see it... I would also include Titus 2:3-5... 1 Tim 2: 9-14, 1 Tim 2:14, Genesis chapter 3.... God's punishment to Eve and every women... God's punishment to Adam and every man... God punished Adam for obeying his wife...

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

He dodged the question because he is evil and serves Satan. He does this way to much for this to be a mistake.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@graphicsdesignbeforeafter According to numerous passages in the Bible from Genesis 3 on to Eph 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 the real answer is that she should fully submit to her husband as unto God. If she stops rebelling, the conflict is over. It really is that simple.

[@kyliefarmwife7643]

But what do I do when my husband is combative, condescending and defensive, no matter how submissive or lovingly I bring anything up? I’m praying. That’s all I can do.

[@lilyseestheworld7865]

I love John Piper. The overspiritualization in Christianity can be rampant though. Sometimes it are the police, sometimes a counselor, the relatives, a separation etc. ways along with prayers out of marital problems though. Love Mark Gangor when it comes down to such questions. Blessings.

[@Marla_is_the_Solution]

Prayer and patience

[@baronbrutality757]

He didn't address the question at all. His entire response was about what men are to do, and nothing about women. Why is he so afraid of women?

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Because they pay him. He is also Satan's man, not God's. Most everything he says is in opposition to scripture. What he should have said i "submit to your husband. Quit fighting him and the fight will be over immediately."

[@acereport8939]

Wife and RESPONSIBILITY! That’s like oil and water. They NEVER mix.

[@vlj9013]

Leadership is about initiating with humility, submission and wisdom to show him what she sees

[@loveoflife709]

If she's so much better, she should be the leader and not him, don't you think?

[@framboise595]

"Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow, And dart not scornful glances from those eyes, To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor: It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads, Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds, And in no sense is meet or amiable. A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled, Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty; And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it. Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee, And for thy maintenance commits his body To painful labor both by sea and land, To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe; And craves no other tribute at thy hands But love, fair looks and true obedience; Too little payment for so great a debt. Such duty as the subject owes the prince Even such a woman oweth to her husband; And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, And not obedient to his honest will, What is she but a foul contending rebel And graceless traitor to her loving lord? I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace; Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway, When they are bound to serve, love and obey. " Shakespeare , Taming of the Shrew Act 5 scene 2 This is what should be said to an ungrateful wife who seeks for rule , war and supremacy instead of kneeling for peace. I don't know if Shakespeare was Christian , but what he put in the mouth of his character Catharina is 100% biblical ..and suppressed by the church system , isn't it Mr Piper ?

[@sharitaoglesby5942]

Great great advice 👍

[@unconditionallovehomeschoo1830]

I came across this I shared it with so many wives.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Then you have shared demonic lies. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. You are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.

[@YuGiOhDuelChannel]

So funny how the question is about what a "wife" should do and it turns into what the husband should do lol....sigh 🤦‍♂️

[@TimothyGott]

The husband should lead. In vision, execution, and example 🤗

[@TimothyGott]

With that being said I think he's oversimplifying the coke/juice example. There might be a backstory there and the wife might be extremely difficult to satisfy. Or perhaps Piper is right (after a fashion) and the best way to teach your wife is to serve first (even when she is being demanding and unreasonable) so she will listen to you, watch you, and wonder why you are serving. She is seeing you wake up every morning and praying right? She is hearing you always talk about the importance of 'you' living God's will and purpose for your life above your own wants and desires right?

[@mj7335]

Read: Laura Doyle First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and then put it into practice.

[@loveoflife709]

@@TimothyGott nope, just don't marry an insubordinate woman and cry about it 😂

[@cryptojihadi265]

It's really simple. There is no Biblical basis for conflict in the marriage. It can ONLY happen when the wife isn't willing to submit. The husband should seek her counsel and insight, but ultimately, it's up to him to make the decision. Even if it's something she REALLY feels is the Lord's will, He will NEVER ask her to argue and fight with her husband to push for it. Let's say she feels the Lord is calling them to a different Church, but the husband wants to stay with the current one. Even if she IS right and hearing God correctly, what she should do is make her case(not ARGUE it) but then leave it with the Husband. If he says no, then she can leave it in the Lord's hand to help her husband see. But ARGUING with him, or trying to CONVINCE him to do it, is NEVER OK. The only exception of course would be sin. We are NEVER to submit to ANYONE if they ask us to sin or do something illegal or immoral.

[@Bonkers928]

What if he doesn’t think he ever does anything wrong? What if he isn’t receptive? What if he doesn’t lead spiritually as he should? Coke without ice…really? This is a serious question about marital problems.

[@joeblues2000]

Many modem Christian women just don't have this anymore! They see the problems yes but when they pray to God on how to solve them it's very much like this: God make my husband see we need more money and have him work a part time job or overtime but have it be just the right amount and not a penny too much because he still needs to come home and keep me company for 4 hours a day and still sleep in bed with me for atleast 8 hours. The issues is more about expectations being all out of whack a husbands be responsible for way more then they should be. A healthy Christian women should be able to run her home and have help from other family when her man has to be away with not woe is me crying! To much wining with women to much babying then they up and leave her husband for a man that does not give into her crying and complaining. She don't leave him for a man in no apron!

[@niinxzero2025]

If you're with someone like that, then help her/him fix the problem.

[@michaelsayen4360]

As a "responder" and "follower" it is not the wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict. But, as a Christian, it IS her responsibility to be Christlike. Meaning, asking forgiveness when necessary, repenting, and loving her husband with a fearful respect.

[@acharich]

@Deb Harris 😅😅😅

[@saulcuello9622]

Read first Peter chapter 3:1-6, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Tim 2:9-14, Genesis chapter3... Let the scriptures speak, not acharich, or piper...

[@saulcuello9622]

When a husband is not obeying the word of God, that is a marital conflict .... Win your husband... A winning wife Wins for life, 1 pet 3:1-6

[@framboise595]

@@saulcuello9622 Marital conflicts come from wives because they do not submit . That's all.

[@framboise595]

@ Michael Sayen It is her duty to SUBMIT but she does not and of course plenty of modern cowards disguised as "pastors" won't tell her to do so . Actually it is the Sound Doctrine that is being willfully overlooked and disliked as predicted by Paul 200 years ago. What do those "pastors" fear ? The first Christians feared the lions yet they were courageous. Modern "pastors" do not have lions to fear but they fear women ? !!! What a joke !

[@harvestblades]

Piper's This Momentary Marriage (free on the Desiring God site!) Is outside of the Bible the best book on marriage I have read, & used for further study. It has been extremely helpful & I encourage anyone reading this to go buy or download the book.

[@BryanPearson-u7y]

This is basically good. I think there is a bias in the end when the analysis of the family at the airport is used to address what is the wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict. We don't know what is going on with this family prior to this event. Maybe Pastor Piper is partially right and maybe part of the teaching is missing. If the wife constantly complains to her husband and does not show a wise, humble, submissive spirit of love and respect, then I do not think the wife's behavior reflects the characteristics of the men and women of faith in the Bible. Even secular marriage counselors such as the Gottman Institute find that positive comments need to predominate over negative comments for the marriage to be healthy and conflicts solved. There needs to thankfulness and joy even when we do not get ice in our Coke. Jesus and the Father know our hearts better than we do and can judge if we are acting in faith or sin. The husband will also have insights and sensitives on what is breaking the marriage that the wife does not have.

[@johnalba3427]

The account describing the husband getting the wrong beverages for his family is completely backwards in its logic. “Men today are expected to have 100% responsibility in relationships, but 0% authority”-Rollo Tomassi

[@framboise595]

@ John Alba It is clearly the work of Satan

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@framboise595 Right as usual, Isabelle. Can people not read what the Bible says?

[@brandonbiasproductions5959]

I have to agree. There has to be a sense of compassion from the wife in this situation... imagine being a husband and watching football upstairs and asking for your wife to bring you something cool to drink only to get a warm drink. The results would not go like this neither would it be consider that she needs to correct the drink. In fact it would suggest he is demanding, over the top, and has no sense of consideration for her efforts.

[@academision]

Yeah ever since I heard that Ive thought Piper is a huge simp. My opinion has not changed. lol

[@framboise595]

@@academision The way he panders to women , the sex first in rebellion , is appalling .

[@neohermitist]

Pastor John said something that confirmed what I suspected. He said there would be only a few conflicts where a wife would have to submit to her husband because most are resolvable. This contrasts with marriage researcher John Gottman's data which show that in average marriages fully 70% of conflicts are unresolvable. I suspected (from other Pastor John videos on marriage) that Pastor John's experience and marriage is extremely low conflict and he carries this experience over into his advice. Perhaps his wife is very submissive or they are very aligned in goals, outlook, and behaviors.

[@mn7392]

He ends his teaching stating that the husband's job is to serve and lead. How does that answer the question "What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict"?

[@SoliDeoDevotionals]

Michael Nevin He did say her responsibility was to pray. Pretty much if your marriage is screwed up, it is your fault...ie. the husbands. It's really that simple. You're probably not doing something as the leader in your home that you should be doing, namely, loving her.

[@mn7392]

Mario Quinn That the husband is solely responsible for the health of the marriage is what you are arguing or are you agreeing with me that he did not answer the question very well?

[@framboise595]

+walkinthelight 10 In a way it is the husband's fault because there is something that he should be doing in his home , namely DISCIPLINING her and stop letting her walk all over him .But you know what ? so many pastors today preach 'headship' without authority which is in fact submission of the husband towards the wife.Mass emasculation is the work of tyrants (even Aristotle had noticed it in his time ) .God only knows why those 'pastors' lie that way and are after men like never before.

[@framboise595]

+walkinthelight 10 Her responsiblity is to submit and stop quarelling.Marital conflict only occurs when the part supposed to submit and follow wants to have the last say.

[@laurapiovan]

+Isabelle M I think you are making a way too big generalization. It might be the case in some cases. But some marriages are on the rocks because the husband is not taking the leadership as it is meant (= "husbands love your wives as Christ love the church". How did Christ love the church? a He gave up His life for her. HE washed the feet of the disciples. That's the type of leadership the husbands are called to. If husbands had that attitude, it wouldn't be difficult for a wife to submit. She would long to submit to such love. In Gods kingdom to lead means to serve. That's what husbands are called to. And yes husband and wife are called to submit to each other as well...Ephesians 5).

[@mamajo5867]

This is exactly what I needed

[@framboise595]

" I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace; Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway, When they are bound to serve, love and obey. " Shakespeare Taming of the Shrew Act V scene II Perfect illustration of 'marital conflict'

[@bonnieboulter9486]

Obedience is not the same as submission. They have different meanings in Greek and English. And there is a tendency to forget Paul's admonition in Ephesians "as unto the Lord". There's a caveat here. "As unto the Lord" is required by both spouses." The whole passage in context also includes the need, the necessity, at times for mutual submission. "The Taming of the Shrew, while a Shakespearean play, reminds us that a Christian wife should NOT be a shrew, if she is submitted to Jesus 1st. If she persists in such behavior, please see my comment about personality disorders.

[@yenboeing575]

I have just begun to truly look deeper into submission of a Christian wife, and I so strongly dislike it. Not because I disagree with it, but because it is so bloody hard to submit, especially for someone incredibly stubborn and proud like me.

[@mariuspieter]

I feel like the question in the heading is not the question he answered, or maybe it's just me

[@graphicsdesignbeforeafter]

What is a wife's responsibility in solving marital conflict? I thought this was the question, it has turned out to be whats the husbands responsibility. Can't any question touching how women behavior be answered without mingling men? That's a problem with the society, women are not being told the truth about what is their role in life e.g according to...Proverbs 31:10-31...*17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.---Today she is a...fill in the gaps.....not all women though!

[@acharich]

@@graphicsdesignbeforeafter 👀👀👀

[@WingfeatherE12]

These guys always assume that the man is always the problem, and that the wife always has the answers that the man has to submit to and that’s called leadership 🤦‍♂️

[@leftpalm7735]

It depends on the culture and traditions upon which one is raised. There is no perfect answer for this question. I think this is a great answer based upon the culture that John was raised in.

[@Barbie-gg3fx]

I have yet to master the submissive way to tell a man he is wrong and have him humbly respect it.... 😕

[@MJ-jq4kc]

Same, sis.

[@earnestlycontendingforthef5332]

Don't worry about that, just do your part and allow the Lord to do the rest. "Without FAITH it is impossible to please God".

[@jeanpaulgartier3404]

You have, however, completely mastered the art of absolute lack of self awareness.

[@wiggelpuppy5474]

I’ve almost never hear or observe a women try to be submissive.

[@FlawlesZMa]

Its so hard when you have been treated wrongly by your husband or want better treatment (the Way You feel loved), and when he doesnt do it, how do you tell him or not tell him at all. Maybe submission here would mean to just pray and let God deal with him..its hard if your hurting and want to solve the issue

[@morgangreenlee2091]

Loved how he described how husband has a role over wife but God does not come to her through her husband

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Yeah, but that was a lie. Don't trusr piper. Mr. Piper is telling you wrong. It is not your place to correct your husband or order him around. Piper is an evil fool. Eph 5:22-33 and I peter 3:1-7 tells you to obey and submit to your husband which will stop the fighting cold. You are causing the fighting by being in rebellion to God and your husband. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. You are trying to do God's job and you suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.

[@morgangreenlee2091]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 Hey John! Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your zeal for God and His Word as well as respect for God's structure of authority. In my comment above, I am not disputing that God has put husband over authority of his wife but rather saying that both spouses submit to God by following the roles (Husband-leader, provider, family authority; Wife-Supporter, home provider, and authority over children) God has given them. If I was in sin, I hope that someone would call me out and tell me I was sinning. In the same way, if I was not submitting to my husband, I would hope that a mentor, friend, or my husband would call me out. I say that because ultimately any sin I commit is a sin against God and sometimes a sin against others. God created the law and God is truth and therefore only He can define what is good and evil. Whenever we sin, we submit against God. Submission to a husband is not righteous because a husband is always right, it is righteous because God says it is righteous(except it the husband is going against Scripture). Therefore, we all follow our roles innately through God because my husband nor any other person can define truth for me. Since God can and has defined truth, we all ultimately submit to Him in everything. I hope this comment reaches you well brother. I wish you all the best and hope that you are having a great day!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@morgangreenlee2091 Yes you ultimately submit to God but as a child you submitted to God through the Father he gave you to lead you and as a wife you are supposed to submit to God through your husband. This why we are told to be equally yolked in marriage. It is not your place to correct your husband even if he is in sin, since this disrupts the relationship. God sees that sin and can arrange for his correction if your husband is Christian and submitted to God even if poorly. Do not try to do God's job for Him. God is better at it. He has pastors and elders and the Holy Spirit to do that. It is not your job. You will wreck your marriage doing that. When you correct YOU become the leader. Trust God to do His job or you are rebelliously calling Him incompetant. Do your part that He asked you. Submit to your husband and reverence him even when you think he is wrong. Blessings upon you and yours.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@Emari Sweet🧁Oh Sour one, So you always want to put words in other people's mouths oh lying one?? It is God who told you to submit to your Husband, not me. It is God you rebel against. I did not write the Bible and all I have done is quote the Bible. You clearly hate and fear men from your own words. Why? How many times has a man killed you this week?? How many times have you been threatened or hit?? How many of your friends have been killed by their Christian husbands in a fit of unprovoked rage? Or is this just groundless fears talking? What kind of monster would you you have to marry who would hit you or threaten you while you were actively submitting to him and obeying rather than fighting him? 99% of men simply do not do that, especially Christian men. This is one reason that the Bible tells you to marry a Christian man - to be equally yoked. Men do NOT fight with people who are cheerfully obeying them. Nor do they foolishly pick a fight they think they will lose as you seem to do. How dumb are you? Why did you pick such a monster out of all the good men you could safely submit to?? How stupid are you?? Or did your parents hate you and sell you to a monster they thought would abuse you? Or were you captured by Arab slavers and sold over the internet? Elsewise YOU made the bad choice. I have never said you should endure the real abuse of your husband if you are in the small majority where that is happening unprovoked or even mildly provoked. Most men don't fight with those following them obediently. I said that if you want a fight with your husband to stop, QUIT fighting. Submit. It is a wrestling term. Tap out and the fight stops. It will work 99% of the time. If not, go find a referee, maybe your pastor, maybe a father or a brother. If you deliberately chose a man who is going to lead you into real danger, blame yourself. If you picked a drunk or a druggie because he was exciting rather than good and solid, well, you chose poorly.

[@ILoveGodsWord413]

Women should have the same right as men you say. To which degree? All levels? Should women have the right to marry women like men do? Should women have the right shower in the guys shower room the same as men do? Where do you draw the line? Men and Women ARE different than each other. God made us and designed us for certain and specific things. There is a reason God made 1 man and 1 woman. Woman are not less important in any way than a man is. But that doesn't mean you get anything you want.

[@wiggelpuppy5474]

The only flavor they had was grapefruit juice. The ice machine was broken. The divorce is imminent.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

And the husband will be far better off.

[@evaristochaidez1273]

Amen, brothers men I encourage you, we must lead and stop sulking. In Jesus Christ name amen.

[@nicolewright8833]

His illustration confuses me. In that scenario, the husband hadn’t done anything wrong except he clearly has trouble paying attention to details, which seems to be a male trait. His actions were loving-unless he purposely tried to bring the wrong drinks, he was serving his family and just made an error. His response indicated there’s an ongoing problem, probably a pattern of him trying to serve his wife but inevitably messing up details and the wife becoming exasperated because she’s already low on energy from caring for their child. Her disrespect will corrode their relationship. He’s learned it’s better to withdraw than to work on resolving the problem. If the wife really needed to make a point, she could have asked him to watch their child while she went to get some ice and the right juice, not with a hateful attitude but out of an effort to make it clear they’re working together. I agree with comments saying the Pastor side-stepped the question and tried to make it more palatable for women. And isn’t that the same mentality the withdrawn husband had?

[@bonnieboulter9486]

I just scrolled down looking over some comments. TWICE respondents have stated, there is no marital conflict if the wife submits. Translation: wife has NO voice, ideas, opinions, observations, wisdom. to contribute to the marriage. A non person. But Jesus knows her personhood and her grief. The husband doesn't or care? Onus all on wife. Husb bears no responsibility? All men are healthy spiritually and emotionally ALL the time?

[@earnestlycontendingforthef5332]

The true "Daughter of Sarah" way of appealing to a husband's grouchiness is as follows. "1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." 1 Peter 3:1-6 (ESV)

[@saulcuello9622]

Earnestly contending for the faith , pastor John , and every pastor needs to read 1 Peter 3:1-6 to answer this specific question.... Not 1 Peter 3: 1-7, but 1 peter 3: 1-6.... Leave out verse 7... And also read Titus 2: 3-5 older women train younger women to love and obey their husbands... Thank you earnestly contending for the faith, I read many comments and no one pointed to first Peter chapter 3 but you…

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Amen brothers.

[@rosaliacruz5199]

Your using esv translation…. Kjv says for unbelieving husbands, not husbands that are in the faith.A lot of the times Men put to much pressure on women to do they’re role while they slack in every area of the lives and then when the wife says something to bring it to there attention she’s crazy, rebellious, ect , point blank period If the man of the the house that’s suppose to be the head does his job in the first place I believe 90% of the time conflict would be avoided . Stop putting the blame on women , since the beginning man has done this

[@earnestlycontendingforthef5332]

@@rosaliacruz5199 So the question has to be asked, has the wife being doing her duty to God, fulfilling her role as has been instructed of her? "22 Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything". Eph 5:22-24 (ASV) Thus not arguing and disobeying her husband making him frustrated and resentful of her sinful and insubordinate behaviour, in these times of crazy evil feminism that is consuming the rest of the wicked world around us. "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won *without a word* by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful* and pure conduct". 1 Peter 3:1-2 (ESV) Get the wives to be obedient and subordinate to their husbands as God has intended and such 2021 marital problems would be greatly reduced. See what the King had to do with Queen Vashti for the sake of the kingdom's husbands when she obstinately refused to obey her husband the king. So read Esther 1:10-22, folks, and you just might begin to understand the spiritual drift on this major problem with 21st Century insubordinate wives, and women in general today. The Bible teaches them the correct way, secular education undermines and destroys it, and so we see the chaos in today's marital relationships [and divorce rates] and the inevitable "wages" of such disobedience to God's Will.

[@aidabarreto9299]

It’s just that some men are blind, so hard to get them to understand us.🤷‍♀️

[@jcrockett870]

It sounds as if his answer is "what is a husbands responsibility" If your wife demands ice, go get it.... Keep in mind, If you do exactly what your wife says there will be no marital conflict. However, that's not much of a marital relationship. And, it does not sound like "leadership" to me.

[@acharich]

👀 👀 👀

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Well it certainly is the exact opposite of what God commanded. Piper is satanic. This is not a mistake.

[@surrenderradio2064]

The problem is that some women today don’t appreciate what is provided for them and even if he goes to get what was missing, she sees it not as servant leadership but that he is her pet. Guys pay better attention to your woman, and women be more graceful towards your man.

[@framboise595]

Women today scorn their husbands because no woman can respect a man who serves her . The servant leadership junk is a work of the devil .

[@framboise595]

Piper and the art of beating around the bush

[@johnsaxon5154]

John 'the politician' Piper dodges a hard question once again!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

He is not just beating around the bush, he is deliberately turning the truth inside out and lyyind as his father the devil does. The proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Wives are trying to do God's job and they suck at it and are complaining that God is not doing his job well enough. Repent and the fighting will end.

[@abcbee1308za]

Head covering is a must in the house of GOD .

[@SteeleMyPoetry]

Amen brother Piper..Amen

[@RussianBot4Christ]

It was the wife's responsibility in that last example as a God fearing woman to not care about it having no ice btw, because it's just an subjective preference to an unhealthy drink anyways. If they wife's mind is on Christ, she would not care much. Also, she should be equally ready to get up and go fix the kid's drink, if the husband has sincerely tried.

[@dragonof10jc63]

Ok... but if assuming they have been married long enough to have a 3-4 year old child, where was his mind when getting the coke and juice? Was he serving her and their child as God says to serve one another or mindlessly getting whatever was the least effort on his part? Subjective preference or not, knowing a few things about your spouse can go a long way.

[@framboise595]

@@dragonof10jc63 A husband is NO servant of his wife !! He is in authority over his wife.

[@dragonof10jc63]

@@framboise595 In no way did I say that a wife has authority over her husband. I simply said that we both serve eachother. Who knows what kind of variables were happening to this couple he used as an example. Mark 9:35 if anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all. Those in authority are to be servants to show Christs love. I serve and so does my husband. We both sacrifice because we chose to, we want to. I hope that this comment doesn't upset you further as that is not my intention.

[@framboise595]

@@dragonof10jc63 What do you mean by we serve each other ? How long has the church been teaching that Christ "serves" his church and the husband should serve his wife ?

[@loveoflife709]

That's what you would expect of a humble woman anyway

[@jasong9774]

I respect and admire John Piper. Perhaps it was just this particular example that was a poor one. (the husband and father) Where do you draw the line? Where do Godly boundaries come into play? Focusing on the husband sulking, which may or may not be a snap judgement made with no context or information is one thing. However, consider that this also showed ingratitude, entitlement and disrespect. Giving good things to our wives and children gives husbands and fathers great joy. However, should the husband and father always give in? How do we know what he went through that day or just to get the drinks? Was there an allergy issue? Is he often taken for granted through a critical, perfectionist spirit? Does he slack off? We don't know? What lesson is learned and what habits are reinforced through enabling a spoiled brat behavior? Again, no context is known here though and I think perhaps this was merely a poor example in an otherwise great discussion. Also, this could easily take place with the genders swapped.

[@glenroberts9644]

Depends on HER understanding or believed.

[@lbee8247]

If only the wife is saved and the husband is unsaved, self centered and lacks greatly in selfawareness then reconciliation is always on the believer even if she is the wife. She will have to be like Christ in her marriage just as she is in every relationship. Christians are to be like Christ. Even if the Christian's husband will not be like Christ or love his wife like Christ. The Christian is Christ like and has to respect, submit and love her husband as unto Christ even if he is unsaved and selfish and not interested in the bible or what it has to say about his role. She will have to be the spiritual leader but not to him. She will have to be the leader in forgiveness and reconciliation to him though. She will have to do it in the most wife like way she possibly can but since it isn't the wife's role she will always have to pray for guidance and meekness and wisdom in her approach. Someone has to be like Christ or else you have two selfish people and you have bitterness. Love can't keep score.

[@tenaseesherry]

L Bee wow! You just pegged my marriage! 🤘🏻👍🏻

[@kblankenship5870]

Yes I agree I trip up in when he is throwing at me Al ways I not a godly wife. While I am Sharing What God has done for me. Husband acts like I trying to outdo him, I m grieving my husband not seeing and acts Ike God would not talk to me and it’s in you head. Or I didn’t understand. Insidious

[@xavierthomas5835]

Don't let yourself be swayed by his anger and vile attitude because it is God who judges our hearts and our minds and our souls

[@framboise595]

@@xavierthomas5835 Any man can recognise easily if his wife is worthy or not. Please just take a look at the man in Proverbs 31 and see if he does not praise his wife for being a godly woman.

[@xavierthomas5835]

@@framboise595 You don't know what manner of spirit your are of, do you? Do you recognize that the Fatehr has called the least things as though they were the greatest? And the poor as though they were rich? JAH himself has said that the least shall be called the greatest. Yet you would say that a man is worthy to judge this woman? Go and ask your husband if he will save you and let you into heaven, and then come and tell me again if he will save you. He is a breath away from death every moment and you would laud him like this? Cease from man, whose breath is in his nostrils, and his mind in the lower parts of the Earth. Blessed is the man whose hope is in the Lord, for he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, bearing his fruit in due season, and plenteously rewarded for his proud doing.

[@framboise595]

@@xavierthomas5835 You must love Piper so much as you dodge the topic as much as he does. In Proverbs 31 , it is the husband -and the sons who call the wife blessed . It is the husband who trusts her because she is trustworthy. It's all about the husband first since the woman was made for the man , and not the man for the woman as Piper and plenty of liars preach today . So he does have a right to judge her conduct towards him. This is perfectly scriptural. What is not however is the way piper and co encourage wives to judge their husbands and usurp their authority. But those wolves are nothing but feminists in "complementarian " guise. They preach the "he for she "feminist abomination. Not the godly she for he .

[@susanhaines7358]

I will forever ask. What should happen here?

[@MrPs103]

@donteetpeople i agree with this so much, i want to hug you! :) i'm outrageously excited that God is making that apparent in other people's lives as well. i've been married since 2008, and God has had a huge part in my marriage, not only in carrying my wife and I through, but teaching us our roles and what it means to be married and loving.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

If you think this is correct you don't know God at all. he proper God-ordained order is, despite Piper's lie, Kids submit to and be instructed by parents, wife submits to and is instructed by the Husband as to God, and the Husband submits to and is instructed by God. Eph 5:22-6:9

[@africanqueenmo]

Beautifully said

[@catherinecook8355]

Love it

[@JitiAnn]

Words of Wisdom 💕

[@upendramandreakar8518]

Perfect! Sir.

[@celestraoceans5149]

Thank you

[@JeffersonDinedAlone]

What a stupid question. That would depend entirely upon the conflict's context. Both partners should be open to one another, and work together to resolve anything. If either person is in error, then they should take responsibility to correct the error.

[@charliejohnston1978]

oh very good except why would you say that husbands don't suffer? that is nuts !! Oh course husbands suffer, just as soon as the wife says that she can't go along with something he needs to do, then his suffering starts. But if you are referring to Christ-like suffering, then that should be explained as such...

[@DaliaFarid-v7t]

John piper is a man of God 🤍🙏 bless him

[@TheCerealluvr]

This was WONDERful.

[@framboise595]

+naturallysimple Wonderfully unbiblical .

[@TheCerealluvr]

how?

[@framboise595]

naturallysimple How ? This man just circles around and does not give husbands the TOOLS that go hand in hand with an authoritative position in order to rebuke and correct a wife's bad behaviour. It is as if he told fathers something like : your son disobeys you , disrespects your authority ? It's OK , take him to Toys Are Us. That is how you get more and more spoiled children with dysfunctional behaviours. Same thing for wives .

[@TheCerealluvr]

Isabelle M Wow. I disagree with your point of view. Oh well.

[@WatchKevin_]

thanks for the knowledge

[@francesbernard2445]

What was Sapphira's responsibility in her marriage to Ananias? What was Ananias's responsibility in his marriage to Sapphira? What was the responsibility of any underage and/or adult children who may have been part of Sapphira and Ananias's marriage to both their parents and to their neighbors at the time too? I have thought about those questions without resentment and fear whenever reading the bible passage in Luke 9:48. Is the only reason I do not fear when reading that passage because I can say that I came from a working class family or what? Since I cannot explain my own feelings fully then I have no right to explain the nature of someone else's feelings during their entire life.

[@susiewelchman8658]

So good thank you😊

[@ryanrobinson188]

The husband is the spiritual leader. The wife is right behind him. They are not equal. Unlike Piper said at the beginning of video. Piper even he disagrees with the Lord's plan.....

[@bonnieboulter9486]

They are NOT equal? If not, how can the "Two become ONE". "Male and female he created THEM in HIS IMAGE." Biologically, thus God's design shows this to be true. At the time of conception, you get an X chromosome from dad and an X from mom; voila! a girl is formed. You get an X from mom and a Y from dad, voila! a boy is formed. Sounds equal to me. Equal and complimentary. As God intended. It's only sin that messes this design.