What Is "Breadcrumbing"? Signs You're Being Breadcrumbed- And What To Do!

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

If you’re really interested in bettering yourself, check out my Creative Healing Course or my The Knowledge Workbooks. They’re really amazing! 🙌

[@evies_mommy_84]

I had a trail of crumbs. There was the "hey I was just thinking about you" text, followed by the "I have your stuff", then a question about his dog, which finally led to the "I miss you". These were scattered over 8 months. So we hung out, and he eventually said he had feelings for me. I never reached out to him, I only politely responded to each crumb. Now we are married. Each day of the break-up might seem like an eternity, but don't give up.

[@hunterfulton9866]

Congratulations to you🎉 I'm in the no contact stage with someone whom I really had feelings for and someone who I feel was my dream girl, I didn't see any Red flags in the time we had. It's just that she went to college and 3 weeks in she was just too stressed and couldn't be there emotionally. But we had a very fun summer together, we spent almost every day and night together and I even slept with her twice. I really hope that she feels the same way, that maybe she just needs time

[@ADayInTheLifeOfJames]

❤️

[@robbykicklighter3803]

If this happens in the reverse. It won’t work.

[@HellenofTroy897]

Cool❤😂

[@nadialovesmogwai]

Omg I’m going through this and I’m tempted to set a boundary but I really do want us to be together. I just don’t know..

[@arr204]

My ex texts me from time to time to "say hi" or check in to see how I'm doing. Nothing ever comes of it. So, a few months ago, I just stopped responding. No point to it anymore.

[@djsupared]

My ex would remain in contact with me for 18 months after she ended it. She would reach out but her messages rarely have any substance, never about me and how I am, cold and blunt at times. I stopped the contact 4 months ago. She’s a dismissive avoidant and I hope I never meet someone like this again. The behaviour emotionally drains you.

[@jurider1]

I finally called him out said that he was leading me on with he’s ghosting and breadcrumbs and guess what he ghosted me again ! I’m done now and he’s 55 we were teenage sweethearts and rekindled after 37 years ! Some people never grow up 😮

[@LonelyRider87]

Thanks for the topic guys. I'd say a good omen you're being breadcrumbed is you feel your time is being wasted. I'm rather heartbroken hearing these signs he was breadcrumbing me *during* our relationship. Thankfully he hasn't tried this since dumping me. I really do need to try & move on, I love him but he was so unhealthy. I just feel like part of me is always looking over my shoulder hoping it's my angel. I gotta just accept that is how I feel & try to move forward. It's so sad. He pursued me so hotly it's so confusing 😕 💔

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Very confusing. For me, I'm not even yet in love bc I'm trying to stop it to protect myself but on human level I get attached to him as a person. What hurts me most is knowing that he doesn't miss me bc if you miss someone you want to call or text them.😢 he said he was happy to see me again, that was 2 days ago and since then silence. I should know better by now that feeling upset and angry means that I feel mistreated and I need to put myself first. Eventually I will but mostly when I'm already attached. I am confused bc I also know that ppl have different patterns when it comes to text habits but im a romantic person. Kissing and hugging is already a thing for me so no interaction for 2 days hurts.

[@benjaminnielsen4288]

The timing on this couldn't be anymore perfect. Last week, she sent me the ultimate breadcrumb (more like a slice of bread) after 3 months of no contact and being blocked. She unblocked me, and posted a whatsapp status video for me to see. It was her playing a song that she knows I like, one that we shared when we first met. She reached out via whatsapp and asked me if I heard OUR song on the video. I replied yes I did hear our beautiful song. I was surprised by this. So, I replied. I said "when you're free, lets meet and we'll listen to our song together". Her response: "Ok, I'll let you know". Which I know really means... "No, she won't". This is such a cruel thing to do... give out false hope with breadcrumbs. I WOULD RATHER BE BLOCKED AND UNWANTED THAN BE UNBLOCKED AND BREADCRUMBED. Better to walk away from this manipulative behavior. Great video!

[@imranmuhammad8105]

Sorry to hear that. Something similar happened to me. Any updates yet ?

[@asher6047]

Did you hear from her again

[@cecilyremy7899]

Im sorry to hear this 😢

[@asher6047]

Narcissist

[@benjaminnielsen4288]

@@cecilyremy7899 thanks. It really does suck. I'm trying to let go and move forward and it's really tough, especially being in close proximity to her and this other dude she's seeing. I can't stand it.

[@mr.soundguy968]

Breadcrumbing can be unintentional, especially by fearful-avoidants

[@MissSarahGM]

Exactly, that is my case with my ex. However it doesn't mean we should enable it.

[@vrilginitymaxxer]

​@@MissSarahGMwhat to do about it?

[@MissSarahGM]

@@vrilginitymaxxer If your ex has contacted you several times, to chitchat or nothing meaningful, and disappeared right after for weeks or months, it's a breadcrumb, meaning they get some benefit from the interaction (reassurance, belief you are still there waiting for them) and you on the contrary stay engaged hopeful and stuck in your healing. Fearful avoidant attached exes will do that and if we enable it by responding always, they will not change. You have several options, if you've responded each time, and she's a woman, you could suggest a catch up in person; if she bails, then you set a boundary saying you see no purpose in continuing the communication. Or you could start to ignore and wait for a meaningful offer to respond. That might not come.

[@gabordudas5404]

I Do feel this, that was mentioned by others: This video makes the puzzle complete, this video is very helpful! Thank you guys! And of course this is what is happening with me right now.....Breadcrumbs everywhere

[@mikyl-fo8rh]

Ghost a breadcrumber; they will know why you left and there’s no explanation needed nor deserved. Ghosting is closure 🙂‍↕️

[@tbelj]

Ive watched over 100 vids in the last month and i got to say I appreciate your guys comedy sprinkled in 😆

[@nilesengerman8263]

My ex after not talking to me for three plus months, called last Wednesday. She left zero voicemail, no follow-up text, no follow-up phone call. I didn't respond. I spent 14 months giving her my maximum to her minimum. You'd think after just dropping me if she were invested in me I'd get at least a voicemail

[@benf1111]

She said I love you and I miss you but in the context of everything (including her being in a new relationship) it was breadcrumbing. I had to set the boundaries and shit her down.

[@mrdaveylh1]

2 years and sad to say.... She's hard to let go, and here I am, hoping for the best, trying to get her back.

[@peterpistazie669]

Finally a video about it! Always felt like this is the missing piece of information. Thank you so much! 😍 I feel like it’s very hard to decipher because it might also not be clearly black or white. Love you two and Margaret, you’re such gems! ❤

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

We have other videos on breadcrumbs!

[@briteidea08]

My ex recently reached out because of a disaster in her life. She felt the need to inform me her girlfriend I met about five times was dying. While it was true and sad. I was blown away that it had been over a year. She left me on read and blocked me for a few months on IG. Went on a multi state vacation with her ex at the end of our relationship. From what I could tell until she blocked me. Had played the victim. So it sent a flood of emotions through me seeing her message. In the past few months I’ve met someone new and things seem healthier than what I had with my ex.

[@No-hopes-given]

We broke up in February she would keep texting me or meeting up with breadcrumbs the longest no contact was four days. Last week she admitted to having feelings for me and was sending me pics of herself. I told her she needed to make up her mind haven’t heard from her now in 5 days - it’s driving me crazy.

[@LaoSoftware]

You got dumped in February? I got dumped in March. Don't get too attached to someone else. They will leave us eventually. Even our shadows leave us when it gets dark outside. Attachment causes suffering. That's a quote from the Buddha.

[@No-hopes-given]

Has she been reaching out to you?

[@imranmuhammad8105]

That is so messed up . How is everything now ?

[@Malumbrus]

5 days? That's your answer. WALK AWAY PERMANENTLY.

[@No-hopes-given]

@@Malumbrus I’ve tried to walk away but she makes any random attempt to contact me and meet up and tells me how nice it is to spend time together. The issue is her family won’t accept it so is she torn or is she just playing me?

[@sally5256]

Thank you! Needed to hear this soo much. You always spell things so well. Last few were on the mark. So sad…Thank you 🙏 ❤

[@englishforcanada]

Hi Coach Craig! Thank you for this video. If someone says they “love you but can’t be with you” and they keep messaging you for weeks after dumping you, is that a sign of breadcrumbing? Just keeping you on ice for their own ego? How can we differentiate between someone’s true regret and feelings and breadcrumbs?

[@olivepostma6874]

Fantastic description ! Awesome practical understanding ❤

[@SpaceCadet4Jesus]

I'm getting breadcrumbing at a pace of about $100 a crumb.

[@Malumbrus]

Walk away.

[@victore4111]

I was being breadcrumbed by my ex, to the point were i wouldn't go out to meet new women or on dates on the weekends for fear of "she might reach out, while I'm out, and she won't like it" What a FOOL i was!! I was like this for almost 3 months, until I realized. What the heck am I doing!! I've decided to finally put an end to it, and block, i was literally putting my life in hold. Please my bros, if they want to, they will/would. No more, take your dignity and self worth back.

[@dmb3428]

Im not sure if I am getting bread crumbed or not, I am in no contact but she reaches out maybe once every week or two weeks. She has an anxious attachment style, we had 5-1/2 years together that was mostly good. I respond directly and politely to her texts, then I go back into no contact. We've been apart since may but had regular contact right after trying to repair the relationship on and off for about 1-1/2 months. She still has photos of us on FB, so it's confusing to say the least.

[@gus7007]

Is it a smart thing to tell your ex that she can't expect to just get me back easy if she changes her mind? I mean tell her that and then go NO CONTACT.

[@gossipinc7096]

Can you do a video on why an ex refuse to respond to your message after the ex initiate contact. Is it that your response does not inspire ex to respond?

[@mrsauslander]

use of the hot - cold treatment

[@asher6047]

Got the attention they wanted

[@chisomoffor6877]

I told my ex to stop contacting me and I was going to block him politely and told him I was open to revisiting us and if not it’s okay as well, we both dating but he keeps reaching out and we have been intimate also with no progression and I’m tired of revisiting pain and he understood and also left politely. I fear o might have pushed him away and he will never reach out even though history has shown he always did reach out some how. Also told him he knows how to reach me if he changes his mind , blocked him immdiately so I don’t know what he replied

[@skylark_media]

First of all thankyou for the fantastic session we had.....and with recent events... wow does this ring true haha.

[@carlfreiermuth5424]

some crumbs in bed can be annoying but if the whole bed was made of crumbs... well in other words if the relationship is now consisting of a trail of crumbs.. maybe that's not the best way to go

[@gregepps1669]

Good morning, I really needed to see this video. My ex girlfriend friend and I have broken up for 18 months, and she has been in new relationship for over a year. However since March, my ex girlfriend and I have been texting and talking on the phone. Matter of fact she has reached out to me on Father's Day and 4th July. On one occasion she asked me, have I thought about her during the break up. She also agreed to meet me for coffee, but she postponed the coffee meet. As I mentioned she reached out to me on Father's Day and the 4th July. However my birthday was in July, but she didn't reach out. Matter of fact I haven't heard from her in over 2 weeks. I'm so over her!! I've blocked her!! She is so immature.

[@joeb5578]

My ex gf is doing this now. We're used to talking every other day or so. She and I use Skype so I can see when she's entered the chat room. She's always on invisible. Now she's literally changing it so I can see. But there's no conversation. I was going to reach out the other night but didn't. If she want's to talk then she needs to talk. She does it every night at approx the same time. I'm in a better place now, spiritually, mentally. She is not.

[@Oilbabyoil23]

Haven’t heard from her in 8 months of NC and then a pissed off comment in my DM’s. I was so confused but didn’t even bother to respond

[@scarlet4237]

I stopped a long term breadcrumb situation but have come out looking like the dumper / the bad one. We are now in a no contact situation, and probably both in a no-reach-out stalemate. The actual handling of the situation is very difficult. If he (ever) calls, what to do?

[@MissSarahGM]

Interesting, I have a similar story. My avoidant ex contacted me every 4/5 months, each time he called I responded not too excited but friendly and hopeful he finally saw the light..only for him to disappear after the call (and I believe hoping I would chase him). So, after 4 months of silence (15 months of breakup), he sent messages (nostalgic but no apology), I finally ignored. I was too scared to be strung along. For how long was the bread crumbing situation going on? Ending this doesn't make you look like the villain. You finally put your mental health first. They know they can come back with a more significant and meaningful apology. And then we can respond, with caution. But otherwise, that type of episodic contact over a long span of time, not escalating towards reconciliation, has selfish purposes, checking their access to us, getting validation etc.

[@camellia8625]

“Contact not escalating towards reconciliation has selfish purposes - checking their access to us, validation etc”…….. this 💯

[@tinaworrell6818]

I would love to talk with one of you more about my situation, buy don't have money to

[@CountOfMonteCristo_]

She liked my dads social media posts out of nowhere which was a bit odd, I know it isn’t a lot, but she does little stuff like that, mainly because she’s on the younger side and is still very immature.

[@Dontcare523]

It been almost 3 weeks no contact she messages me almost every day Nothing of substance I respond polite but I feel like I shouldn’t respond to every message she broke up with me because of her depression she couldn’t be there for me

[@Unknown-bf1vj]

I have a question: what if NC is not achievable for at least 1 year? Ex and I signed lease together and are both finically stuck on the lease for at least a year. Ex and I are back to friends but I fear that living together and not achieving NC will result in me being stuck as a friend.

[@MrFreshMachine]

My ex will randomly message about pointless things, sometimes we’ll have a little convo and she’ll drop a hint out of nowhere that she’s going to be in a certain place like the local shop even if it wasn’t part of the conversation, it’s like she wants to see me but doesn’t want to ask but also when I ask to hang out she says no so it’s really confusing

[@reeree1004]

Thank you for this video- very enlightening. Quick question, should I block my ex if they show signs of bread crumbing after a break up to protect my heart? Is it worth the tumult and 'emotional turmoil to not block them?

[@stephenlennon1650]

Hi Craig is it possible for you to advise what to do when you have an ex in a new relationship 😢 but also have a child with you no contact us near impossible so difficult to see my child so sad thank you yous are brilliant all the way from the emerald isle

[@vanessac1965]

Don't engage in any discussion of the relationship. Disengage emotionally. Don't be her emotional support or seem sad about the relationship ending. Be focused on the child in all your interactions and don't offer anything more than that. If she says we need to be friends say sure but then don't volunteer anything as a friend and remain reserved until if and when she shows some vulnerability.

[@jeffhornung7792]

Good afternoon @CoachCraigKenneth and to your fellow coaches! I looked at your site and was curious if you had more affordable coaching options? Especially if it were to be on going. I also could not find any other means to contact you I.e. Email, contact form, etc. I think your videos are great with a lot of lessons to be taken away, that you guys are, that you do important and meaningful work. Have a wonderful evening!:)

[@Marauder-kd8zi]

I screwed up we got in arguments over text and didn’t intend to pressure but I just wanted to keep in contact and she stonewalled me and eventually told me to move on but now watches my snap stories sometimes

[@stignatius1625]

if ex reached out to setup a time to pick up my chair and said “hope all is well” is that a breadcrumb? i didn’t respond

[@chrisnorthyrs9356]

Why would my ex text me most days with random things and asking about my life, but never brings up the break up what should I do, I feel like I should tell her I want to work on the relationship we’ve been split up 9 weeks and haven’t gone longer than a couple days to speak she reaches out almost all of the time

[@vanessac1965]

She's using you for emotional support and validation

[@tinaworrell6818]

He always saiding that he's busy and have to take care of his dad that he has living with him he says he's not ignoring me, but I don't understand that he's so that busy that he waits to long to call that's why I really don't believe anything he says, because if you are planning a future with someone you wouldn't have them wait so long to reach out to them, and this is the guy that we didn't have a boyfriend and girlfriend thing he is somebody that liked me for a really long time since we met at same job over 10 years ago when he ask me last week to come over his house he was talking in terms of marriage like he was saying like calling me his last name and what he would like in the marriage so I don't know why he's not committing to me yet after the year of 2013 of coming back in my life,but also he said something about he wants to buy a house, now maybe he's planning and just not letting me know yet, but when he said that about buying a house he didn't include me in that, he is a hard puzzle to figure out maybe he doesn't want me to know now

[@tinaworrell6818]

And I know that he's been hurt really bad in the pass, but still he should have heal by now, I just don't want to be continuing to be hurt of this and he maybe telling the true, but Idn for sure yet

[@chloesato4942]

As a secure person, it is hard to believe why avoidant ppl do that. To me, such a waste of energy/time. I just think that those ppl never really had a happy childhood. Even if their parents did love them, they didn’t feel loved as they wanted to be. I pity on them yet they are not willing grow as a person. It doesn’t even occur to them. I just walk away.

[@costeymantel4478]

She texted me about a key and keychange out of no where im in no contact for 21 days what does this mean?

[@AJtheDestroyer]

Can you make a video on no contact on someone with a secure attachment style? I’m pretty certain no contact is a lost cause for this situation as they won’t ever feel enough separation anxiety

[@crystalclimenhage7159]

What if they don't respond when you respond to the breadcrumb?

[@asher6047]

Attention

[@countdowntorevolution9986]

That's the entire point of the breadcrumb - they just want to check you're still there as an option for them. Once you confirm that you are then they don't need to contact you any more.

[@crystalclimenhage7159]

@@countdowntorevolution9986 exactly. That's why I disagree with.coaches telling people to respond to breadcrumbs. You want to increase rheir anxiety

[@markour-parkour1918]

Nah they get blocked from viewing my stories, you don't get to leave me and see what I'm doing.

[@wheelsupworld]

Hi Craig. You and I had a coaching call a couple months ago. Quick question. My Ex's son's 22nd birthday is tomorrow. He and I had a good relationship, and I got him a college internship a few months ago (2 months after our breakup). He and I had dinner a few months ago when he started the internship but before No Contact. The employer emailed today with a really nice email complimenting my Ex's son. Can or should I text the son tomorrow, wish him a happy birthday, and pass along the email for him to read the compliment? Does this break no contact? There is a 50/50 chance he'll tell his Mom (my Ex) that I reached out to him.

[@ignazs.5816]

Of course this is breaking the no contact rule. This isn't necessary. Stay away from the person.

[@camellia8625]

I personally think the son deserves to know. If his mother wishes to interpret it as your supposedly pursuing her that’s on her.

[@vanessac1965]

It only makes you look like a good person to pass it along without trying to engage her personally. I hope you did it.

[@OiVinn-eq1ml]

I read that's called Hansel & Grettling online lol

[@flaco0526]

To block them in your phone or not block them?

[@stephenciotti2127]

Good morning coaches!

[@charlesdesarmeau257]

Dated 5mths and Broke up 5mths ago. Month after asked if she still wanted her house key, she said yes, let's do it next week. No contact, 3mths later, asked if she still wanted it, no reply for 1mth, which she replied last week. Saying yes, that would be awesome. I replied a few hrs later saying yeah sure. Now it's been a week. Is this breadcrumbs?

[@stevenarps5600]

Yepp

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

If you feel your ex is bread crumbing you, share what they are doing!

[@No-hopes-given]

Texting randomly saying how are you? Sending me pics of her in new outfits? Telling me she’s sad we can’t be together - but then disappearing

[@peterpistazie669]

Sending me good reminder texts, randomly and unasked updating me about her life, asking me how I am, reacting to every story I post on instagram,…

[@odnellx]

​@@No-hopes-givenshe wants you to bail out her man ...in my own opinion

[@Tmason__]

What if they are only sending videos on Instagram and no text messages?

[@cynthiabrown4051]

I am also getting videos on Instagram and no text messages. I haven’t responded to them. And today I was blocked on Instagram

[@sanelabogdan8863]

How I can get your books?

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Only on my website AskCraig.net

[@kevintoohig9589]

I blocked my ex she has no way of contacting me

[@gossipinc7096]

My ex send tik tok videos once in few months. When I say thank you, ex does not respond. Why?

[@henrikandreason7261]

The ex is leading you on

[@asher6047]

Got the attention they were looking for

[@marisolvaniabonampak359]

If he does not send words do not answer with words .

[@blackholegalaxy72]

So what do we do? You didn't get into that much. No contact?

[@peterpistazie669]

Set a boundary being open and upfront

[@MissSarahGM]

You ignore. You wait for a more meaningful message. Or you can confront and set a boundary. And go no contact.

[@melissapradia332]

6:36 Lol! 😂😭

[@debralavorata546]

id get hey,awww,how u,and then he'd leave me on delivered,once fir nineteen days ,ir read it and get no answer,ut would be total hell and pure torture!! He's i believe a narc and a big avoidant..He would answer only a part of a question,and then stop dead cold texting,for days ,endless pain

[@johnespanol1273]

Block these type of exs

[@GGGG1040]

Walk away that’s all we can do…

[@pr0fess0rbadass]

Zoolander 2 already came out years ago and it was ass

[@coreysanders7140]

She asked for space so I gave it to her. Just after less than a week she contacted me. The first time she texted me and asked if I had trick or treaters came to my house. The second time she called and asked if I voted. The third time she came to my house to return my Sam’s Club card. I asked her if she would like to get something to eat. She said yes. We talked for two hours. She said she wants to take me out to dinner next time.

[@baremart]

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, we ended on good terms (we both cried, he said that we had strong conection that he had with no one else and said that maybe we will be back together in the future- that he will text me), i tried to text him three times (in 20 days) but he was distant but still tried to be nice to me, during last message he was colder, so i went no contact and now after more than month (43 days) he unfollowed me on instagram out of the blue. He follows his all exes ( but wasnt long-term with any of them). I dont know what to think or what to do right now, im worried he will move on. I havent seen any videos on this topic yet. Anyone have any advice?

[@asher6047]

He feels you have abandoned him

[@cassiewilliams2041]

I'm going through something similar and tell myself every day why would I want to be with someone who didn't want me. Get your self esteem back and do what's best for you. I'm at the 2 month of no contact. I'm focusing on one day at a time.. I have good days and bad days. Before you know it the pain will become less intense.

[@camellia8625]

Given that he was the person who broke up with you; it should be him that approaches you (if and when he may like to reconcile).