What Is Dissociation?

[@puddlejumper3259]

When I was young and being screamed at by my dad I could feel myself disconnecting. I can't anymore. It's just normal now.

[@CameronCorless-yf9wt]

You can get back some of that. Having someone like doctor g helps makes this process easier, see a therapist if you can. I have faith in you, don’t loose hope.

[@evaavi4412]

Same but with the mother. Then she'd get mad and say "You're staring like a dumb cow." and made sure I wasn't allowed to do it. It was super stressful. By the time I left that house my adrenal glands were messed up well.

[@Franzifii]

​@@evaavi4412Ah, the toxic parents messing up your adrenal glands. I know what you're talking about. It sucks. Did they heal a little bit already? Because I know it's possible, just very slowly. There's a lot of content about this out there. I healed mine, at least somewhat and I'm so glad that it was possible because messed up adrenals are a long long nightmare, ugh. Hope I don't sound like a salesperson. There are a lot of plants and medicinal mushrooms that can help heal the adrenals. Liquorice root for example (but don't drink liquorice tea or eat liquorice if your blood pressure is too high).

[@alenaadamkova7617]

Eliza Mozal..... angel. :) its like poetry would enter your miund and body and her wife Andrea Lain is excellent to at explaning meditation purpose, staying with ypour breath etc.

[@alenaadamkova7617]

I started listeninga lso classical music especially the symhonies, chamber music is alos calming... But the music is excitting and healthy for brain, or memory loss etc...But its somehow melts your negativ ethinking away, because the melodise are so passionate and right on point....that the brain somehow harmonizes....or also try going on walks, do some exercise, gym, but force yourself, even 30 minutes is enough, the brain will itself want more if it will be ready....and therapy of course also is good..... Some people healed faster by realizing that the parents, or people in past, didnt know how to react better, its like they werea lso trapped in their mind...so they probably would do better if they got a tools, ......its maybe poor excuse but it helps to not being obsessed with apst thoughts...and your true self knows how to heal. Mediation is good technique, to not live in past but in the present moment.

[@seanahern9511]

I heard my parents drunk screaming at each other from the age of 6-12. The fear and helplessness you experience, the only way to cope is to ignore - which leads to dissociation. I'm 35 now and find my mind wandering, thinking about the past, and I feel like I have to focus hard to snap myself back to the present.

[@artifundio1]

I can relate. If you don't mind me asking, do you find yourself thinking various things at the same time? Sometimes while I'm studying, I think of other things while I'm writing answers, and sometimes I think about 2 separate things while writing a third one. This can sound impressive, but is exhausting. I am very sure that my hyperactive rational brain is "fighting" dissociation by doing this. Or something related...

[@seanahern9511]

@@artifundio1 Absolutely. I also found myself excelling at multitasking and being able to handle difficult things, but I believe this is a symptom of not being present. It feels like something is missing and I'm overthinking to try and either find it, or prevent further distress.

[@choomahlezly4550]

When did you become aware of the dissociation? I’m only becoming aware of it now, but I’m certain I’ve been doing my entire childhood, and I never realise when I’m actually in the dissociative state, only when it has passed.

[@seanahern9511]

@@choomahlezly4550 Damn, that's pretty similar to me. Other people have had to point out that I'm putting up with way more than I should be tolerating. I had to realize that I had no boundaries as long as it didn't disturb other people; I wasn't even trying to people please, I was trying to go unnoticed without upsetting anyone. Unfortunately, I don't have the answer for you :( I've only become aware of this part of myself recently as well. I explained to a close online friend, that when I broke both of my legs and was stuck in bed for 23 hours a day that I began to experience horrible foot and calf cramps and just dealt with it without telling anyone. He told me that was unusual, that normally someone would speak up and that fact I didn't had more to do with my upbringing. I've always told myself "it is what it is", regardless of what's going on. Essentially, I think being in a dissociative state prevents you from seeing it until it becomes an actual problem, but people who dissociate have a huge tolerance for what they consider "a problem."

[@seanahern9511]

@@choomahlezly4550 I wrote a big response but it seems to have been deleted by YT or had an error idk. TLDR: I only became aware when other people began to point out I had a limitless emotional tolerance for whatever happened to me by thinking "It is what it is." I think it's a default of the defense mechanism to not realize you're dissociating until after introspection.

[@quetzalthegamer]

For those who might find a visual aide useful, you can see dissociation in the expression called the "thousand-yard stare".

[@fregg1379]

@@quetzalthegamer it's so silly so many people romanticize it.

[@KanohiVahi]

​@@fregg1379 Can you elaborate on the romanticization? How do people romanticize it?

[@Peppita_]

Yes, I finally put a word on it a week ago myself, and it was exactly that. The visual part is really that. It's so annoying because it feels dreamy and like you look at everything and nothing at the same time ... Really fucks up the mind..

[@クリス-j8y]

That's interesting. Because the thousands mile stare is something which is quite common amongst people on the autism spectrum. Is this plain coincidence or might this tell something? Like how much pain any other "normal" social situation is for a neuro divergent brain so it needs to dissociate.

[@wtfvenusss]

@@クリス-j8y that would be really difficult to pinpoint. not only are we limited in the ways we can convey/explain our pain to others, but dissociation happens for more reasons than psychological pain and any identifiable triggers can be external (environmental) or internal. i see what you’re gettin at for sure,, there’s just too many variables

[@VampieOreo4636]

I already had an intensely traumatic childhood, but I'd managed to be resilient (or as resilient as I could be). But then as a teen I got life altering news that essentially ripped my only support system to shreds. I fully stopped being a person. I felt like I was cosplaying myself for other people. But internally, I no longer responded to my name. I wasn't connected to my physical self, like my body was just a subpar place I was temporarily staying--like living in a shitty apartment where you can't wait for your lease to run out. Nothing mattered, and I had no interest in overcoming the challenge that had just been thrown to me by life. Like I'd been living my life story up to that point, finally realized it had a stupid plot, and abandoned it as an unfinished project. I had no desire to see what happened next for that person I had previously been. I was just existing. And it stayed that way for about 10 years.

[@jellostasis]

Uncannily similar to me right now.. I just turned 20 four days ago. How did you get out of this?

[@6IGNITION9]

bump

[@anz10]

Has this improved now? I really hope so, big hugs.

[@valerianlin2792]

I hope you're doing better these days dude🙏

[@heyitsaryann]

Same thing happened to me, I'm 21 now and just realized this, seems like I've wasted my life.

[@haliec496]

Through trauma therapy I worked out that 3 days after a stressful situation is when I feel overwhelmed. It takes that time for my brain & body to process it. So now after an overwhelming situation, I know I need to plan my unplugging time and I literally turn my phone off and have a "self care day'.

[@helee28]

@@haliec496 wow that's a cool insight What kind of trauma therapy?

[@aidabarreto9299]

After a stressful situation, I need time to recuperate so I try to stay home and do nothing but rest.

[@DelNiceBeto]

Thank you Mom and Dad for teaching to dissociate

[@HearTruth]

I feel you !

[@aliced7505]

Same. It's really a gift.

[@VADACHE]

Yeah thanks for nothing for creating trauma for the rest of my life.

[@HearTruth]

@@VADACHE i speak from experience long story Call it out address it openly w/o anger. Forgive (doesn't require them /him to say sorry and doesn't mean it was ok what they did to you. and depending on what transpires 𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲. what happens to the offender (s ? that's between him /them and God the Father. ps the process took me 50+ yrs . for you it could be different. ( Jn 8:32 Lk 23:24 once I did it (Jn 8:36) Eph 4:32 Ro 2:6

[@miguelcarvalho5122]

This used to happen to me a lot, but since then I got a little bit more emotionally intelligent, I started to notice the dissociation, and all of it's signs, I'm glad that now I can face difficulty and stressful moments totally awake.

[@svanteforsberg6602]

Nice how did you change? Cause i wanna experience the emotions being “awake” too, But usually for me what happens is when i get uncomfortable emotions i dissociate which holds me back from processing them

[@miguelcarvalho5122]

@@svanteforsberg6602 I sought professional help to understand the root of my dissociation. After learning the cause, I implemented a solution, but it wasn't easy. The dissociation had impacted many aspects of my life, including dopamine levels, smartphone addiction, avoidance, fear of consequences, anxiety, coping mechanisms, confirmation bias, difficulty opening up to others, and fear of judgment. My whole life became a mess because of something I couldn't control as a child. Dissociation became my defense mechanism, but it only created more problems. The solution came from a psychiatrist, but it demanded a complete life overhaul. I devoured over 30 videos by Dr. K and documented everything that could help address my issues. My Buddhist beliefs (Soto Zen Shu) were the driving force behind my self-improvement journey. Additionally, books, movies, and even manga featuring fictional characters (Berserk, Vagabond, The Climber, Vinland Saga) provided immense support. It took over 3-4 years to get everything back on track. I learned to experience true happiness and navigate the grieving process without getting stuck. Dr. K's advice resonated deeply, feeling like it was tailored specifically for me. That's the condensed version of my transformation.

[@chrismccaffrey8256]

Learn meditation and mindfulness. Learn to then observe the dissociation. Be gentle with yourself. Learn to feel your body again and focus on feeling sensory input.

[@ashoftmrw]

I had an extremely abusive childhood (for anyone familiar with the adverse childhood experiences study or ACES, I had 9 out of 10 ACES - for reference, 4 out of 10 is considered severe). About a year into the pandemic, I suddenly returned to my body one afternoon. Literally had a moment where I was like “holy shit I’m a person with a body and a life”. I have absolutely no idea when I started dissociating but if I had to guess it was when I was a child. I have vague memories of being 10 or 11, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, feeling a sense of confusion - almost like that feeling that happens when you say a word too many times and it starts sounding strange and nonsensical - while looking at my own face. I was likely “gone” aka lost in dissociation for 20 years. I still struggle with periods of dissociation because of the way I ended up setting up my life (at least for me, because I was dissociated, I had very little connection to my own wants/needs and I made a lot of choices to please others) and because I have complex PTSD flashbacks but, having been back in my body as an adult, I can actually find my way back a lot more easily. It’s almost like I was lost for all those years and I happened upon a path out of the darkness in 2021 and now that path is easier for me to find?? Dissociation sucks. It robs you of your own life. It robs you of your agency. It’s meant to be a place of solace but if you get stuck, it’s like being a prisoner, watching your life happen to you with very little control. I hear it so often described as like looking at the world through a pane of glass but that just doesn’t capture how awful it is to be stuck in it, especially for years on end. For me, it’s like being a passenger instead of the driver and the drivers only goal is to just keep driving. Maybe I can jerk the wheel sometimes to avoid a crash but i missed exit after exit after exit that I wanted to take. All the experiences I want to have and the roads I wanted to take just passed me by and all I could do is try to catch a glimpse, try to imagine what might have been if I actually got to decide where to go. And what’s really fucking hard, when you DO come back, you finally FEEL all those years of buried agony and you finally remember why you needed to escape and all your brain wants to do is just go back to when you didn’t have to feel the full force of that suffering. But it’s worth it to make an effort to try to live in the real world. As far as we know, we only get this one chance at this whole living thing. As hard as living can be and has been for some of us, existence as a human being is incredible. We are more than the sum of our parts. Our bodies and our brains are made up of exactly the same stuff as the rest of the universe but, somehow, through billions of years of physics playing out and chance chemical reactions, we exist. We are the universe itself made conscious of itself and it is beautiful and horrible and funny and stupid but mostly it’s absolutely fucking sublime.

[@ntl9974]

@@ashoftmrw 🙏🙏🙏

[@catalindeluxus8545]

This comment is an absolute masterpiece and I thank you for sharing your trauma, the pain of coming back and feeling al this suppressed agony, and the message of hope. Courage my dear 🙏

[@blazeemm]

Your relating it to driving had me remembering how ever since I was a child I would dream I was in a vehicle and there is no driver. I am not the driver. I am not in control. These days I don't dream that dream often anymore...

[@writer684]

Thansk for sharing, what do you think happened for you to stop feeling dissociated? Was it a therapy process?

[@khanom3033]

You are really strong!! Beautifully said. Glad you made it!!! We're not alone 💗🌸

[@РайанКупер-э4о]

I feel unplugged for the most of my life.

[@Kamil-lm7pi]

I've had a depersonalization and derealization disorder for over 2 years straight. It was active the whole time, not only when stress occured, it was 2 years straight of me dissociated. There were times I thought that I'll never get out of this. Heard stories of people having it for much longer and that made me feel hopeless. It isn't like that anymore. First the derealization went out and few month after that the depersonalization also disappeared. It was hard and took a lot of work to stabilize my emotions which was hard because I was detached from them, the more something hurt, the more dissociation occured and I was just so numb and absent from the moment. But finally I was able to snap back and I'm writing this wishing that someone can find some hope If they're in a difficult or even a similar situation to mine.

[@ExiLeZH]

I also experienced depersonalization for a period of almost a year, this is over 10 years ago now. At the time I didn't know what happened to me and it was really scary, I did develop an anxiety disorder aswell. I also feared I'd never get normal again and neither could I imagine it, since this mental state became the new normal. I'm happy to mention though that I did recover and that I never suffered again. The main thing that helped was doing consistent breathing excersises atleast 3x a day. Nowadays when I start feeling a bit anxious I do this controlled breathing and it really helps (btw, it's inhale through the belly and a very slow exhale taking like 8-10 seconds). Wim Hoff's cold therapy also seems to help alot of people, also to improve general health, focus etc. Hopefully this gives hope to people suffering from this right now.

[@jellostasis]

Thank you. I'm so glad it got better for you and that you wrote this. I wish you all the best.

[@jellostasis]

​@@ExiLeZH Thanks a lot for those tips, and congratulations on your recovery. I hope things are going well now.

[@ExiLeZH]

@@jellostasis Thank you very much, I wish you all the luck too. Hopefully these stories give others hope aswell.

[@scarecrow533]

It's been 3 years already. It never ends I don't know if I evert feel alive again. How did it stop? Does it just randomly disappear? Is this so horrible you never know when it's gonna end?

[@gracechan3039]

This happened to me as a child being fostered. Felt unhappy most of my life and made mental health a priority at 33. 39 now and managed to heal all that foster family trauma. Feel like my personality and life goals changed a lot. It takes a lot of work and tears but it can be done and is worth it. Felt like I was walking around with invisible buckshot in my back, all these tiny triggers that would cause so much pain and one by one they had to be taken out to let the body heal. Good luck to those who choose to walk that path.

[@Bike4Life231]

Happened to me and my child because of narcissistic abuse. The first time it happened to my child was very scary and it was extremely difficult to snap them out of it. Happened in front of a family court appointed therapist who was trying to force my child to have a relationship with her abusive father, and she wouldn't respond. I had to TELL the therapist what was happening and TELL her to stop asking my child questions, and explain why it was happening. She completely dismissed everything and said we needed to push the child through it and teach her to respect her father. The level of ignorance was horrific.

[@angieblake3424]

The severe pain caused by the 2 men who should have love and protected me the most, my father and husband, I can't describe the horrendous pain. They cared more about power and control than treating me well. 😢😢😢

[@113wy]

i grew up in an extremely abusive environment, where i also was neglected. i’ve recently been told that this isn’t normal. it’s odd because i can’t understand how people normally are…i don’t know how to explain it. i feel like i’m overdramatic.

[@chickenmonger123]

I think the issue with the coping mechanism is two fold. It makes you not react to the situation and others in a fully integrated way. Emotions are not emotions if they aren’t inside the process. Whether yours, or other peoples. Which leads to the second part of the problem. Which is that afterwords, you still aren’t able to associate with the experience in an integrated way. I had to go back in, and relive the thing in the manner I should’ve to understand the aspect of myself in a living and bleeding manner, rather than a scarred and hard piece of my cognition and identity. Throbbing endlessly, yet still a phantom pain, because it can’t be localized. It’s like cutting shrapnel out of your psyche. Do not recommend. Feel it in it’s time, if you can. It’ll cost you more later.

[@ampliuscruciatus]

So if I understood you right, you mean to revisit those traumatic memories and react to them as you would. Which is an actual part and step in the treatment of trauma. My question is though; how do you fight against dissociation whenever the memory/memories come up? And how exactly should I react to it? Calmly or emotionally? Or is the point of it to just react however you feel, instead of dissociating again?

[@Cakefartsteve77]

Hey stop being so relatable you poet you

[@GardenofEdens]

Reliving the memories is hurtfull but it will get less feom time to time. Getting out of the dissociation and to remeber is after an long time even harder. ​@@ampliuscruciatus

[@jellostasis]

Oh my god thank you, I was struggling to put this into words. You did it so well. How do you relive the situation without feeling utterly defeated? And how am I to feel it in time if I automatically leave?

[@averyintelligence]

Have u tried internal family systems therapy? Even if you do it on your own. Could be helpful in integrating certain parts to make u more present

[@Fake-dq6gb]

This even happens with physical pain. But your brain doesn't disconnect, your body does. You're screaming in agony and all the sudden your body just walks into another room away from your brain and slams the door. You still feel pain, but only like 25%. It feels distant, like it's knocking on the door to get in from the next room. Then you start having pain PTSD flashbacks

[@ry.hoshiko5482]

I suffered so much trauma from toxic parents and highschool bullying. Right now I dissociate and being on autopilot so much my brainis just 'in the clouds' most of the time. Only on rare occasions, I actually felt like I'm conciously aware or 'awake' and not detached. The part where Dr K says the brain just unplugs is absolutely true.

[@sue5158]

This is the best, most concise, explanation ive ever seen.

[@TumblinWeeds]

As an adult I am extremely good at managing other people’s anger, and I can often change the minds of people who actively hate me. As a child, well, you can imagine how often I was hated by my parents before I learned :)

[@Sunflowerdn]

I wish I could knew how to do this. I just had a situation yesterday where that would have been so helpful. Do you have any baaic advice?

[@maggie6152]

Id like to reccommend the book, Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno Van der Hart. It has been a major help understanding my friends and my own (far milder) dissociation.

[@TaroLoaf]

i struggled a lot with this in my 20s this short serves as a reminder that my efforts for healing have been fruitful (somewhat). Thanks Dr. K and his crew

[@TheEyesOfLife]

I find it’s challenging to prevent myself from dissociating when I’m alone and have all the chores or endless adult things to do in front of me, but being around people I care about and viewing my responsibilities as helping myself help them, I get a windfall of motivation. That proceeds to falter again when I’m back on my own 😅

[@luke8536]

Dude.. if chores is the trauma that makes you dissociate.. how do you function in life? I think you’re just lazy my guy.

[@megasweetness9353]

That's so interesting, I have the opposite problem of getting motivation when I'm alone, but being unwilling to do tasks when I'm around people I know because it feels like I'm doing it for them and not myself.

[@Shortman5241]

@@luke8536 don't even try to call this person lazy for having a hard time completing daily chores. YES PEOPLE CAN HAVE TRAUMA CONNECTED TO CHORES. This person could have been beaten every time they didn't get something done, or have a disability which makes it much more stressful to do daily tasks. You need to think about other people before you judge them for having difficulties in life

[@jasoncostello1535]

@@luke8536 come on man, you don’t know what they’ve been through. this is actually very common as a trauma response that people wait until they are around others to feel motivated, sort of like an NPC. i think you could have a little bit of compassion for those that are hurting and understand that people are doing their best even if that looks different from your own anecdote.

[@nathangriswold6999]

​@@luke8536chores isn't the trauma, DIFFICULTY with chores is ONE of the RESULTS of the trauma. Stop judging, be better

[@Franzifii]

I remember dissociating in one specific situation. In that situation, this person I know was talking to me in an extremely inappropriate and harmful way, while at the same time I had pneumonia and could barely even hold myself on my feet. It's absolutely remarkable what your brain can do to protect you because at one point, my brain just blurred out what she said! It just came to me like unintelligible talking sounds through a very thick blanket! It's absolutely incredible and a part of me even likes to remember this situation(even though it was bad) because then I think "at least my brain protects me and can set a boundary that can't be violated by anyone!".

[@ppp-ti1iz]

I had my first experience with it when I found my dad dead. The first few months were hell on earth, (complete disconnection from myself, emotions, brain, and reality as a whole) Now I've been getting better but it still sucks

[@ancientwisdom108]

So sorry for that shocking loss. 🙏

[@zmani4379]

I read a book recently on violence by James Gilligan, who spent a long time working in prisons w people who'd committed extreme and horrific acts of violence - and Gilligan describes a pervasive pattern where these people are often so deeply traumatized that they feel almost completely numb, and that this numbness becomes more frightening than the pain itself - they often inflict horrible harm on themselves also to try and pierce this numb fog

[@Teamshmo]

Do you remember the name? He has a few books on violence

[@zmani4379]

@@Teamshmo I think it's "Violence: A National Epidemic"

[@realmclassic51]

I had a bad trip (on an undisclosed mixture) last year and depersonalized/derealized super bad. It took weeks to wear off. I had this thought “reality isn’t real it’s just perception and my brain” but I could actually feel it, I wasn’t in my normal frame of mind. Taught me a lot about the ego to feel like I lost mine.

[@6IGNITION9]

Could you elaborate? I also temporarily experienced what might be called a loss of ego, but my experience was mostly peace and bliss. (I also had a raw unfiltered perception of reality which was quite jarring / grating, but there was a deep peace beneath that.)

[@ancientwisdom108]

Thank you for all you do! Blessings from Florida 🙏🌍🕊🕊

[@GheJhgi]

هاي علامه انه في شي فيزيائي صعب التحكم فيه لكن في اشيا ممكن تغير طاقتك يعني وجود ناس ثقه بحبوك وانت عارف الدعاء لله يغير فيك كتير في معلومه تعلمتها زمان قالتها وحده انه خطوط اليد يغيرها الدعاء فقالت اللهم ان جعلت قدري شقيا فحوله الى سعيد بقدرتك وعظمتك فاللجوء لله بخليك ترتاح

[@jicajacobsonkimbreaux]

People who’ve experienced very high levels of ongoing trauma and who have a more severe, life-long history of dissociation tend to present with much higher anxiety, as well. I noticed that I would get super keyed-up levels of anxiety which showed up as oversharing and overexplaining to strangers in order to explain my sketchy, hypervigilant mannerisms and these things can even look like being on drugs to others. One particular instance comes to mind- when I had to have dental work requiring the male dentist physically holding my mouth open while lying prone on my back in the dentist’s chair- he was super annoyed and agitated with me until about one minute in when I completely dissociated and left my body, very naturally choosing to focus on and “go into” the air vent in the ceiling, while my entire body (which up to this point was “fighting back” through involuntary jaw closing, muscle twitching, hyperventilation, etc) suddenly went completely limp and offered zero resistance, while I’m sure my eyes looked empty and dead inside as my consciousness had jumped up and out (what I like to think of as “nope-ing out”) to wait out the re-traumatization from the ceiling. The dentist immediately noticed what happened, stopped working, gave me a few private minutes to come back (it took days/weeks in reality) but his entire demeanor and attitude towards me immediately changed and he suddenly became the nicest guy once he realized something else was going on. I had a discrete conversation with the female tech later and explained my history of SA and apologized and she assured me she’d help me from then on. I’ve since learned I need panic attack meds for these kinds of procedures and to consider how my past can affect the way I’m presenting to others and that most people are kind and understanding if you’re able to let them in on things beforehand. ❤

[@seajelly2421]

That's how I was able to give birth. My labour was extremely long, extraordinarily painful, stressful, and emotionally traumatic. Worth it in the end! But a really terrible process. Once I dissociated, I was able to deliver within two more contractions.

[@amygerstle2037]

Thank you ❤❤❤

[@flipinchicago]

When I had it, I felt like I was floating above my body, like stuff was happening and I looking at myself from above. It was kind of like I was playing The Sims but my own life. It was really scary.

[@RedikM]

I've been away for 35 years. Only today got back....worth it.

[@juliemediterranea]

I have ‘been’ for only a few brief moments, those few moments of being connected to life were worth all the years of absence and torment

[@helee28]

How are you supporting the sudden awakening ?

[@TheCrownofJules]

I dissappear into my inner space, losing actual awareness of the environment, losing senses (smell, touch, taste, hearing, seeing but not instantly categorizing). I run on an autopilot-sort-of base awareness. A lot, lately.

[@yashaswinisinghchauhan2391]

this is the most accurate description of my dissociation experience. it succeeded a state of extreme anxiety

[@flowergirflowergirl]

I had CPTSD and I was on disability when I met my most recent ex who was profoundly abusive, and I didn’t understand that covert narcissism was just as if not more dangerous than grandiose narcissism which I’ve experienced, and which I thought was traumatizing. After my last relationship, I forgot how to wash my face and take care of my hair or do my make up. I forgot what clothes I wear when the seasons change, I forgot how to do all of the things I did before. I didn’t know what tools I used to put my eyeshadow on and that sounds like small stuff, but when you forget how to take care of yourself because your brain can’t bring itself to remember the last times you were taking care of yourself because it was such a traumatic environment you end up finding yourself laying down fully clothed in a shower after several hours of being there and not knowing when you get in there and not knowing why you got in there. EMDR saves lives though. There’s hope. No choice but to have hope I think

[@williamphanz]

I am realizing that I experience this often… and it’s not something I’m able to avoid well. Though, thanks for this short, I think I know what I should be doing differently next.

[@nbf_279]

Thank you Dr God Bless you

[@FoxyfloofJumps]

I've been dissociating since Covid started. It's absolutely gotten worse since I lost contact with my family this time last year.

[@Ebdu-gt1oe]

My earliest memory back when i was a small child I remember deliberately pricking myself on a rosebush in my family’s garden and just looking at the drop of blood forming on my index finger not feeling anything, thinking about if everything is predetermined. After watching this short I think i was dissociating.

[@SherioCheers]

I have dissociated a couple of times. One after I got on new anti-depressants and I was driving, it suddenly felt like I was watching myself over my shoulder. The second time was when I discovered my partner of 7 years was cheating. I snapped out of dissociation when I felt the blood dripping from my pinky - I was holding a butter knife at the time and had nearly cut the pad of my pinky off by squeezing too hard. I didn't feel the cut. I also got a stripe of white hair on my left temple after that, and not another grey hair for a decade after.

[@ConnieBeauchamp-z7b]

Ive had to do this many times. Thankyou doc ❤

[@land3021]

Heh that's just like when I was at school! Always unplugged and disassociated! Cause it's less painful than being present-minded/lucid in a place where I don't know anyone and I have no parents.

[@Sidera17]

A lot of people experience this severe trauma in childhood, so have grown up never knowing the brain to communicate differently. I was severely traumatized in an abusive relationship in adulthood, and through the years of enduring it, I can vouch as an adult I FELT my brain rewiring. It was like a chunk of my coherence of consciousness completely was erased. I now dissociate and depersonalize multiple times every day despite years of therapy. It's to a point I can't safely function in social spaces or at work. There is a special place in Hell for people who dismantle others in this way. I have to carry this the rest of my life.

[@janettefrazier8365]

Why does unplugging sound so amazing??

[@DrValentine59]

I've had the problem recently where i can FEEL myself disconnect, i get lightheaded and i disassociate when I'm barely stressed out. I was diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type recently and i used to disassociate when i was trying to avoid my dad's yelling and abuse when I was young, now I'm in my 30s and i can't even write an essay for class

[@jonaskromwell4464]

It's the sensory systems lose connective communication. The result is a hyper-focused distortion of an event. I've had an experience with this personally. It's been quite difficult to get away from the residual sense of being broken and very different to those around me.

[@paulletathornhill1042]

I've always called it a panic attack and mentally checked out 😢

[@andrewhitney4194]

To dissociate sounds like being overwhelmed, and in a stressful state.. so how do you make your brain not be stressed if you feel like things are toxic around you at times.. because stress is affecting your whole body physically as well as mentally. Is there a way to help your brain not be stressed without having to take medication or alcohol or drugs?🙂

[@yehiaismail2451]

Unplug ,process emotion ,unplug process emotions. Ultimately; their is less emotions to process with time and use the processing time to propel change; only when this is manageable with the right pressure

[@GheJhgi]

السنه في تفعيل لطاقه الامراض التي تعرفها فحاول تكون مركز ومع نفسك راقب نفسك وما تخاف بس ركز حكت انه في اقترانات في الكون تفعل امراض نرجسيه وبتعمقها وتبينلي انه في ناس بتاثروا بهاي التقاطعات خاصه لحظه الولاده ولما تتصادف مع ظروف قاسيه بتصعد في الاعراض فكون حذر السنه الله جنبك

[@radrno7]

The hardest struggle about this is: how do you know it's over? I say this because I discovered not that long ago that I have ADHD *AND* autism, so it's very VERY hard for me to tell when I'm not drifting away from what's going on around me, specially when I'm online lol. The point is... I have very little touch with what's real, so even when I manage to "wake up", I always end up going back to tripping or worse, getting stuck for long periods of time. Of course, it doesn't stop there, because when I zone out, there's always someone from my family to make fun of it, which I don't mind, but since I don't feel comfortable or supported by them, I just choose to let myself dissociate in order to deal with it. Yeah, I choose it, I don't just end up disconnecting myself (for the most part), I embrace it. I got so tired of just taking it because it's "normal", and instead of confronting and making it worse, I decided to use it at my advantage. I learned to accept what happens and dive through distractions, often suffering and all that, but at least I survive day by day without losing it.

[@AnanyaAkundi-qg4ze]

Wow, my story is a bit similar to yours. I used to disconnect from my thoughts, feelings and emotions, i don't know why but somehow it kinda felt peaceful, that feeling felt like I see things in slow motion more like something is hypnotising me. I used to do that for few hours but I somehow suppressed it. It kinda felt a bit wrong to be in that space. It felt I'm different so I suppressed it

[@fridavinci6177]

I deal with extreme stressful situations with maladaptive daydreaming. It started when I was 9.

[@freezinginferno2106]

I think I was 18, left home for universe the first time I ever heard my inner monologue, all my memories before that are either hazy or violent

[@cassiestevens8382]

Thanks🕊

[@Slip_Head]

And you quite litterally, start feeling a sense of numbness in your body-plus complete awareness.

[@regs55]

Have you ever talked about the difference between spacing out and disassociation? I don’t know if I fully know the difference.

[@DavilMorn]

Have you ever felt like you are watching yourself from the side? Or like your body - is a long well (or a tunnel) and all the sensory input in somewhere up there, where the light is, and you are at the very bottom? That's dissociation. When you just wander around your thoughts and forget about existence of the surrounding world, because you are too engaged with your own thoughts - that's spacing out. I am talking from my personal experience, though, so it might be a little bit different for other people. I have friends who told me about full "out-of-body" experience that they had during dissociation episodes.

[@diversity_now]

@@DavilMornthat is Not true. Dissociation is a spectrum and there is mild dissociation that we all experience every day when we‘re super exhausted, for example and cant remember the Drive Home, for example. And dissociative Symptoms are was more complex and individual than just situational „watching yourself from above or feeling Like in a Tunnel“. Dissociation can simply mean that things feel Dream Like or Not real, sometimes chronically without that Person ever having an Out of Body experience. Dissociation can mean blocking of memories. It can mean being Dissociated from your Emotion, meaning you know you have a certain feeling but you cannot really feel it.

[@MaraJrianne]

i've heard "spacing out" called "the default mode" network. I'm with you in wanting clarification/differential on what the terms mean so that I can use them accurately and understand better when professionals speak.

[@DavilMorn]

@@diversity_now Thanks for clarification, you are right, that's why I added that I just share my own experience. After doing a small research I have found that even daydreaming is considered a "mild dissociation", which is not trauma related and is just a part of human experience. Thus, this mechanism has natural and healthy roots that can spiral out of control due to abuse. So mild dissociation and dissociation and derealization disorders might have the same roots, but I would still vote for them to be separated and would not call daydreaming a form of dissociation. But that's just my opinion.

[@dalindacastro714]

For me, what it felt like was that my feelings were on mute. I'm usually a big crybaby and when I dissociated at some big event in my childhood, my feelings just stopped coming out. Happiness sadness, anger, whatever. I cared about things still, but it's like my brain full on stopped making my body display any emotions for a while.

[@dopplarwaves]

Sturctual dissociation is a very interesting subtype of dissociation. You seperate yourself from the trauma/abuse so that you can function "normally". These parts dont communicate, and there can be multiple parts of your emotions that are seperated from each other. The Front Bottoms have a song where near the end it goes "when im happy i am happy and when im sad oh god im sad" this line really connected with me on what its like to feel only one part at a time and not the whole emotional experience

[@joanhebert73]

That movie "Precious" shows this very well.

[@martinamilosevic8101]

You just basically described my childhood 😢

[@Steven-sd2zi]

So what do you do to plug back in?

[@Slip_Head]

With instrumentals you can manage, but at the objectification state of despondancy even at low grade trauma or stress-taken- etymologically from the germanic word stem "Traum"=="Dream" it's when the hypnosis becomes somatic

[@jenniferschultz7178]

Disassociation is your nervous system going flat Our brain does what it does - it still communicates when were asleep or sedated in surgery right - brsin doesn't unplug. But your nervous system slows right down

[@LionofJudah222]

My husband and his adult daughter have both been diagnosed with dissociative disorder. He also is narcissistic which adds another element

[@senoto6067]

I got depersonalization after smoking way to much weed one time, it took me almost a year to come back to my sense. Honestly it was the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life, it make you feel like it will never stop make you almost feel unable to do common things like for me driving. I feel depersonalization is something become more and more present. If you feel like it has no way out and I fully understand your feelings from my old points of view, I can assure you it does.

[@GheJhgi]

هل بتحس انه الامور ثابته ام تتغير يعني في ثبات ولا في محفزات بتحرك للاسوا وشو المحفزات هل ذكريات ام مشاعر ؟!

[@jfreedner]

One time I dissociated so hard due to a fight or flight response that I mindlessly unbuckled my passenger seat belt, opened the passenger front door, and rolled out of the vehicle. I'd imagined I would find myself walking along the sidewalk on a sunny day. No. Bad road rash that caused my left arm to become septic and I nearly needed to have it amputated, or so the doctors told me.

[@Slip_Head]

I mean multiple times in my life, I've ranned at speeds that paralleled cars. Distances, yes shorter. But I definitely can walk more in a week than I can drive. I fall asleep at the wheel is my problem.

[@ChoctawNawtic4]

What are the sx of dissociation? How do we know when ourselves or someone else are dissociated??

[@JudieMerouan]

Yeah, that talking to itself stopped for me some time ago . Comes back in waves for some time

[@hellequinm]

I'm autistic, this is my default mode. But I'm curious is it dissociation too? Because for me it doesn't feel bad, I had learn on early stages of life how to get out of it, because I feel like I was born into this "mode". Doesn't seem related to trauma, but it pulls stronger when I'm stressed, I named it as "my autistic child call" because it's exactly this. When I'm overwhelmed and burnout I can no longer fight to stay "outside". That's how I see it, I'm outside of my own self most of the time.

[@YTshashmeera]

I thought of it like unloading from the whole process to avoid a stall I know it's a very aviation-like thought process , but it works for me haha

[@h.t5918]

so how do we learn to un-dissociate now if it's become a habit?

[@writer684]

I think you need to approach the trauma in a mindful way. Just little by little so that you dont shut down.

[@luishagogoi1580]

Yes I have... N this put end to my career. How to overcome dissociation? The cure should be talked about n not only what it is.

[@HenryRatler]

This would probably be a "symptom" of estrangement from people as a result of toxic experiences and violence from childhood onwards.

[@Slip_Head]

Silence of Sadness You can't stop the sadness from falling. -When silence comes and the sadness calls- You may not grasp the eternity of the feeling; But, you can hold the entirety of life in your eyes. And so, as happiness and sadness: “Adjoin, coalesce, and cycle” There is a patience that develops -from loving and feeling- Too often... Many go without ever feeling vulnerable; And, even the tough cry. But, they cry in anguish. -Being vulnerable is less about words- And, more about coming to the words empty handed. -This is a form of meditation; Lest, not a sadhana- And even: “If in the ananta we could hold each other's griefs and joys” -Please, darling- Little by little: -Don't pilth yourself in either- St. Toine (January 13th, 2025) Inspired by the memory and vexing of my brothers, sisters, and parents. -The recent trip to my grandfather’s hometown-

[@lorinance7073]

Is forgetfulness a sign of trauma or stress?

[@TheNorafee]

I had an intensely traumatic childhood the unplug never goes away. will there be ever real freedom from it?

[@goddessvibes2345]

sensory overload is what makes my brain dissociate. Nothing to do with serve trauma or abuse! And it is found in some people who have epilepsy, although doctors are unsure why that is.

[@MaeganDrennan]

Is this why I have no internal dialogue? Sometimes I think in words but not usually. Usually and especially when it’s faced paced, I think more like in “understandings”.

[@LoveYou3539]

I have this unfortunately. However, God has been working compassionately with being kind through others. Sometimes I depersonalize and dissociate when people mistreat me.

[@squigglymilton1312]

I want to see more about the ways the brain talks to itself while disassociating I always used disassociation to raise my hand eye coordination while gaming, or to see the larger picture while drawing, to do so in a more efficient way than taking the time to comb the details or place myself literally further from the image I still to this day find this proven in my experience it’s been so many years it’s no longer interesting to me but I see you mentioning it and I lit up!! Dude I gotta know what this is about now 😂 I didn’t even know what disassociation was back then. Even going back to video games, I will 100% make better plays with 100% less thinking just seeing this blurry soup of stimuli no thoughts head empty And mind you I am not bragging, I consider myself a competent & skilled player when I apply myself. HOW COME MY WINS ARE SO MUCH MORE EPIC WHEN I CANT EVEN TELL YOU WHAT JUST HAPPENED Another example, I am confident that I will never No Hit a Dark Souls game without disassociating through the entire run (which I cannot do 🤣)

[@GheJhgi]

هل dissociation ببين بصوره المغناطيسيه للدماغ؟!

[@drainvigor]

Bless her heart...but my mother struggled mentally and emotionally raising us and didn't realize what she put us through. But im feeling all the effects now at 24 Neglect, physical and psychological abuse by multiple adults, I was taken advantage of by several adults as a minor and later family (male and female), I was bullied throughout middle school for my sexuality, I can keep going, but im trying really hard to not give up.

[@adityajadhav6319]

Love from India 🇮🇳❤❤ 🙏

[@nadyatytian279]

That's exactly where I am now. I was so traumatised last night today I feel drunk, even if I haven't drunk anything. .And of course I had little sleep. If II had a dollar for every time my neighbour does this to me, I would be a millionaire.

[@moniquepaints4419]

Ya, getting yelled at for prolonged periods of time seems to be a common experience leading to dissociation.

[@Fran-xmlo]

And let’s be clear coz it’s effing important.. your brain acts like a bad friend that will not tell you the truth ❤ YOUR MIND and the current perceptions it holds 🧠 IS THE ONLY THING that DETERMINES WHAT IS OVERWHELMING about said situation. What this means is that we forget *WE (who have grown up in loving homes don’t have trauma but we do) ** Trauma looks like neglect, trauma looks like missing out on learning about ourselves & we shouldn’t neglect to forget this bc we’re so busy being hurried up to learn and then forced to do… just like I feel hurried in writing this comment. So your perception of something that is actually safe can be dangerous and your perception of something dangerous can be safe.

[@AphiliaxMikado]

Could this also affect the inner monologue ? I always dissociated but it became worse when I was 25 after heavy depression. I lost the monologue itself my brain shuts off.

[@darkerthanblack653]

i had that once and it felt like i turn from a 1st person pov to a 3rd

[@cierrarachael9949]

Half of y'all in these comments sound like you're conflating "disregard" with legitimate "disassociation." The two are not the same.

[@omnidox]

How does mindfulness play into this? While practicing mindfulness, I became mindful how disassociated I was and it caused me to have a panic attack to the point that I went to the hospital thinking I may have had a stroke.

[@hayreddinbarbarossa3132]

This happened to me. For the last couple of weeks when I am too sad and was thinking of suicide, within 15 minutes I wasn't feeling anything. Absolutely nothing and to be honest, I enjoy that feeling of nothingness.

[@stephaniebouwheer]

Thank god for that .

[@kaylawalter3631]

I experience derealization a lot ever since I was little and I’m 34. Sometimes I like it and it feels good but other times I feel like I’m trapped in a parallel universe and no matter what can’t get out and sometimes it’s for several days.. but I’ve lost the ability to trigger it sometime in my later 20’s and it sucks because whenever I triggered it myself it was a good one, like comforting.. now when it happens is usually not good and completely uncontrolled.. Is this even a thing or am I further gone than I thought here???

[@pureoxin8135]

Eckhart Tolle says he had an experience where great suffering led to a permanent disassociation. His mind became quiet. Any thoughts on this?

[@VampieOreo4636]

I've had long-term dissociation. My mind hasn't been quiet. I more often have 2 streams of thought conversing with each other than 0 thoughts at all. I just don't feel like a person. Don't feel like an identity. No "I" really, except for functional/language purposes. But internally, I'd just as often refer to myself as "we." Or not refer to myself at all. I thrived on day dreams and fiction that removed my attention from my actual existence. Because pretending to be a person for other people is exhausting. I have been functional enough in society to be somewhat stable and successful. But I still don't have a strong sense of being a person. I'm working on it in therapy, and that can help. But the mental health system is tricky, difficult to navigate, and can occasionally be more harm than good.

[@SquigglesFluffystuff]

Can you have smaller scale versions of this where your senses feel laggy and you feel like you're in a dream like state?

[@hellxapo5740]

Yep I got that depersonalization thing fr. Don't know how to evolve from here

[@truetvlee]

When your brain stops talking to itself that’s called enlightenment 🤩

[@jonaskromwell4464]

No. It isn't.

[@6IGNITION9]

The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear...

[@ferretlord3990]

Is this what’s causing my hallucinations? It’s like I can’t fully comprehend my own senses anymore, the gaps get filled in with bugs, eyes, and people but mostly just bright contrasting colors and patterns. They’re never “in the way” they just fill in the gaps of whatever I’m not focusing on. I feel like I failed my brain, I’m gonna enlist, maybe I’ll get some sense back out of pure necessity. I’ll either be better when I come back or I won’t come back, either one is fine, I don’t have anything and I can feel my body failing faster than ever so what does it matter?