What is imposter syndrome and how can you deal with it?

What is imposter syndrome and how can you deal with it? I explain the psychology behind imposter phenomenon, how it impacts your self-esteem, and how you can deal with it.
Special thanks to Elizabeth S., Tyler D., Anna H., Arnt J., Collin P., Evan A., Imran M., Sam D., Ryan L., Sophie Y., Ahmed Y, Israel P., Neuro Transmissions, Eric E., Eve P., Lauren K., BrainCraft, Aaron F., Samuel H., Marisa H.,Tae T., Steve M.,, Bryan T., Nicky C., Samuel A., Anton T., Jennifer C., Shanda W., Saleem H. P., and Sri S. for making this episode possible! Learn how you can help me make The Psych Show and get exclusive behind the scenes access in return at / thepsychshow .
Topics discussed:
* imposter syndrome
* imposter phenomenon
Learn more:
* The Impostor Phenomenon by Jaruwan Sakulku and James Alexander: www.sciencethe...
* How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome: www.chronicle....
* We’re all frauds: managing imposter syndrome in grad school: www.ascb.org/c...
Connect with Ali:
Twitter ► / alimattu
Facebook ► / thepsychshow
Instagram ► / alimattu
Snapchat ► / alimattu
Patreon ► / thepsychshow
Email ► [e-mail]
Website ► alimattu.com/
THE PSYCH SHOW! Creating mental health videos that educate, entertain, and empower! Produced, written, and edited by clinical psychologist Ali Mattu, Ph.D. All videos are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute clinical advice.
If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- call 9-1-1 in the United States or your country's emergency number: en.wikipedia.o....
- call the Lifeline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) in the United States or a global crisis hotlines: www.iasp.info/r....
- text START to 741-741 in the United States or visit chat.suicidepre......
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

[@whitemike528]

Just curious, are you referring to the Netflix/Vox show on the Mind? I’m assuming you can talk about being in it now or very soon once it releases. Either way, your content is great! Thanks!

[@drali]

YES!!! Good detective work 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@JenniferBrick]

What you bring up about people who look like you in the room is so important across industries. There have been a million times in my tech career I was the only woman in the room, and the internal work is so important.

[@drali]

💯 agree

[@sarahpressman6566]

I was just talking with a student I tutor about my imposter syndrome today! I've got it pretty bad surrounding school: I just graduated magna from a good university and got accepted to a PhD program and I feel like I've somehow fooled them all. I like your suggestion of talking to people in the same boat...I feel like that'll help a lot when I get to grad school. What works for me is thinking about how all these grades and opportunities wouldn't keep happening if I really was a fake. I also try to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable and just keep swimming! Thanks for the video, you're awesome!!! :D

[@drali]

Sarah Pressman thanks for your kind words and congratulations on getting into a PhD program! Talking about this with your cohort will help, big time. Many of my peers experienced it too but we didn’t talk about it until years later. I wish we had more of those conversations in grad school.

[@SynthApprentice]

Fun fact: early on in his writing career, Neil Gaiman was afraid that someone would find out that he was just making stuff up.

[@emmyvilla]

My husband suffers from this great on and off throughout his career. He is self taught, usually the youngest guy in the room and has climbed the ladder quickly. Every boss and co worker he had had compliments him on his "humbleness" and his incredible worth ethic. The part they don't see is him working extra hours on the weekend in order to learn more, the constant fear that they are going to fire him and his unwillingness to speak up for himself at times because he is worth it. It's a tough mindset to break. He has gotten through most of it with age and the correct mentors in his life at different times.

[@drali]

Emmy Villa thanks for sharing your husband’s experience. You actually helped me to understand something about myself. Both your husband and I have self-taught ourselves skills. For me, all of my media experience is self-taught through this channel. I’ve never had formal training in lighting, editing, script writing or media training. It’s all stuff I learned through trial and error. I think that’s part of my fear, that the “real” media folks will learn that I am self-taught and don’t really know what I’m doing.

[@emmyvilla]

Let me tell you that your self taught skill is impressive ✨ I enjoy your channel a lot. I'm glad that sharing that gave you insight. Keep doing this because each video brings me insight 🤗

[@BecomingMD]

Thank you for creating this video! I experienced imposter syndrome during this past week, which was my first week of medical school. I shared a video on my channel describing my experience with imposter syndrome and how I responded to it in a positive way.

[@jeneena2004]

I really love the advice of Do or Die Vs. taking as a Learning Opportunity!

[@daltongrowley5280]

thank you so much for this video! This is how I feel every time I accept responsibility for anything. Every semester in college made me feel like I was going to be a failure despite getting mostly A's.

[@drali]

Thanks Dalton! It can be particularly difficult in college because every semester and class is ANOTHER opportunity for achievement that can trigger the imposter syndrome cycle. Good news is each class is also an opportunity to practice approaching achievement tasks in a new way.

[@elenae1366]

I feel the same way! I am about to get my Masters degree and despite getting good grades, I feel as if I am not capable of doing anything and no one should hire me... My biggest problem is how to determine objectively if I am good enough- even if someone likes my CV, I think it overrates my actual abilities and I wouldn't be able to 'defend' my knowledge. How do I make myself see the objective reality, but also without giving myself too much praise? Thank you for the video Dr. Mattu!

[@DrAdnan]

I think a lot of med students have imposter syndrome, and I heard it doesn’t go away in residency either.

[@drali]

Adnan A yup, a lot has been written about imposter syndrome among medical students. Here’s a great intro to that: Impostor syndrome and burnout among American medical students: a pilot study: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5116369/pdf/ijme-7-364.pdf

[@DrAdnan]

The Psych Show Good paper, thanks!

[@bennattj]

Wow, this hard to believe because most (medical) doctors I meet think they're the smartest people in the world.

[@tkfaf15]

This video was very timely for me so thank you. I have been in the same job/position for 18+ years and its been a long time since I was challenged intellectually. I also have reached a ceiling where I can't progress without a degree & incurring so much student debt just doesn't make sense at this point in my life. An opportunity to be part of a 2 year project came up suddenly and I jumped at the chance to apply. After a very difficult application process, finding out that over 400 people applied for only 75 slots, and not hearing back from them for more than a week, I figured I didn't make the cut. About 30 min before the deadline expired, they did contact me to say I had been accepted. I have been going through nearly all the emotions you mentioned in this video, especially feeling like I just got lucky & the anxiety. I used to have mild-moderate panic attacks when I was in my 20's but I eventually learned how to derail them before it would become incapacitating. What worked in my early 20's isn't working so well now in my late 40's tho. I'm having a lot more trouble keeping the anxiety at bay along with all the other pieces of feeling like an impostor. I was a big fish in a small, comfortable pond & next week I'll be a small worker bee again in a large field. UGH And I'll have all new coworkers which is a stressful thought I'm just started to deal with. I haven't got a lot of advise for anyone because I'm winging it as usual but between preparing for next week I'm also trying to do something relaxing for an hour or two before bed by reading or crocheting a baby blanket for my granddaughter who should be arriving in about a month. It hasn't been helping as much as I would like since the insomnia & nightmares have increased quite a bit this week. Hopefully next week when I actually get started they will ease off. I don't regret taking this new beast of a challenge on but I am so ready for it to be Monday already. Thanks again for giving me some new things to try.

[@SynthApprentice]

The magic words: "thank you!" I deal with my imposter syndrome by maintaining the illusion, so to speak. If someone else thinks that my music or art is good, who am I to correct them? This came up when I was actively trying to sell my comics: it doesn't do me any good to tell potential customers that my work really isn't worth the money they're willing to pay for it.

[@ssj5goku28]

This is such a powerful video Dr. Mattu. Even with multiple years of clinical experience, I still deal with the imposter syndrome on a daily basis when explaining concepts to clients, questioning what I've been saying for years even if it is best practice and scientifically documented. Even during my podcast, I make sure to have reviewed notes in order to make sure I am not misquoting concepts. I've heard needing 10 years in a particular field makes you an expert, but sometimes I question if we can even become comfortable as a professional.

[@drali]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It resonates with mine and many other healthcare professionals I've spoken to. A big chunk of the problem starts in grad school and goes unchecked after we graduate. The more we can talk about it the easier it can become to face it and (hopefully) overcome it.

[@linkalipski]

I get it, of course, and I resolve it with massive avoidance 😬. Although in my case the root of it is fear of success for the following reason: Growing up, my mother (with untreated BPD) would make my achievements either an extension of her 'you made this but I made you' (stealing away the achievement) or she would assimilate my achievement with 'someday you won't need me, and will leave me' which means suicide (the message growing up was without you I will kill myself). So I have to undo those deeply rooted messages that stir a cycle of emotions (excitement > anxiety > depression) in me. It's really hard. I have cut her and her family off for my well-being (very subtle gaslighting and emotionally abusive family dynamics) so I have the impostor syndrome + the fear of not being believed as competent as my family may manipulate people in believing I'm the impostor. So for example, I met someone who may be able to help me, with a fellowship, for my project of changing sectioning in mental health hospital. I got excited at first. Then impostor syndrome kicks in so I overthink how to plan and present the subject so that they are no loopholes or blindspot. Then I get excited again about how far it could go, how public it could get. Then I panic because my family or mum could just step forward and claim the success or manipulate the public in a way that no one will see but me. Terrifying. My long point being: there's often something behind the impostor syndrome in self-worth and self-confidence stemming from our upbringing, experiences of bullying, etc. I believe that being aware of the emotional cycle that comes up, can help alleviate the bothersome anxiety by recontextualising it :).

[@hamedranjbar662]

Great video! It would be cool if you made a video about the Bystander Effect

[@h.u.e]

Bruh, thanks for going in for us @ min 9. Pressure of Being the ONLY Black male in building (once janitor retired) was huge piece of why I cracked during my PhD pgm @ MSU. Once I withdrew and switched to social work, that piece of imposter syndrome lessened. But definitely get it now that I'm being sought out in museum community around DEAI work. Don't want to mess it up for all of us. Thx for taking on this topic!

[@gloopsgloops]

I didn’t realize there was a name for it but this is exactly what I experience. It is destroying my life I’m debilitated to such an extreme I’m afraid to do anything. Hearing that 70% of people know this feeling is good but also disheartening that it isn’t diagnosable. I used to go to therapy but I missed an appointment and I can’t bring myself to go back. Any extra resources for this imposter syndrome would be greatly appreciated thank you.

[@ip-l934]

Great video! Impostor syndrome its really hard when you are in a health related job, i think...the pressure to help others feels big in the shoulders because thats your job. Can be really stressful...i mean, i want to help...to do so i want to be the very best...like no one ever was...

[@drali]

I P-L thank you! It can be difficult, especially when you are surrounded by so many dedicated, intelligent, and accomplished individuals. But I think more people are talking about it which helps a lot.

[@keeperoflostsouls13]

I wonder if this is what's been going on because I feel that way about literally everything I do. I felt good about my job though until everyone started trying to tell me I'm doing everything wrong even though I wasn't. Basically went through this work week questioning everything about whether I deserved the job or even mattered. Ive canceled almost every class this week so I could just stay home and lay on the couch. I kept forgetting to eat and never felt hungry. I know that its just the stress, depression, and anxiety, but it sucks and now I wonder if this is an added stressor.

[@WilliamShakspere]

I just discovered your channel and I love what you're creating! This topic is definitely something I relate to, and your explanations are really helpful

[@pagemastrogiovanni9195]

I felt like an imposter all my childhood and early adulthood. Actually it is only recently I come to feel less so like an imposter, or have accepted that maybe I am an imposter and that's okay. I was the super overachiever and actually dealt with EVERY symptom you mentioned in the video. As a daughter of a covert narcissist and echoist mom, I was always trying to prove my worth. Add being a perfectionist and sufferer of hidden, constant anxiety, which comes as a side effect with always having to walk on eggshells, then you get the idea. I guess I should also mention my dad was/is an alcoholic (he's been sober for 10 - 15 years...maybe more).

[@martramT]

Saying it's either luck of effort is something, but what about disagreeing about the success? for example, someone praising a painting/drawing I did, I tend to dismiss it often as I see mistakes in it, knowing it could be better (it really can though...). Is it part of the same imposter syndrome? how to fix that? am I supposed to "fake it til I make it" (pretend I agree even if I don't)?

[@drali]

martramT good question! It depends on how much you can accept the accomplishments in your work (even if you do see the mistakes or areas that need to be improved) and how much you fear exposure as someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. If you don’t experience those things, your experience might have more to do with perfectionism. Of course, some people they can experience both perfectionism and imposter syndrome.

[@linkalipski]

typical artist problem! ;) My suggestion would be to learn how to accept praise regardless of your ability to do better as the two are not contradictory. They can cohabit. Say thank you and nothing else. Accept that this person appreciates your work and leave it at that. (Works for all compliments in general). Your noting of what can be improved is irrelevant to their appreciation. Usually, you would have spotted what can be improved prior to the praise anyway. However.. when you tell yourself, that hand is a little wonky, the colours are not the right shade yet, etc, praise yourself too for what you did well. 'Okay that hand needs some work, I ought to sketch some hands for the sake of it to improve. And I really nailed the tip of the fingers though and the proportions in that drawing are great.' Avoid the term 'but' and use 'and' instead to retrain your thinking pattern to accept that you can both do things with success and failures. When you learn to do that for yourself you will accept external praise as it is. Also, Art is different. Why do you paint? For others? then they are entitled to their subjectivity. Your knowledge of what areas you want to improve upon has no place in their appreciation of that piece. For yourself? Then either you don't show it until you are absolutely satisfied with it or you acknowledge you may be after something more for yourself (reassurance, self-worth journey, etc) that have its roots outside of art. For the sake of making art? Then has critics even constructive have any place to be? Etc. 😘

[@martramT]

@@drali Thanks a lot for the reply(and the video hehe). Then, it's likely both, impostor syndrome socially (I'm very quick to be dismissive) then perfectionism after I rationalize it, but only in my head it seems, as I'll still use a dismissive language kind of to defend "why it's not really good" on a very constant basis.

[@martramT]

@@linkalipski Thanks for the tip, I'll consider that next time I do some disproportional art, or weird music, or basically anything that requires "making" ahah. I guess next step would be to accept the compliment and then talk constructively on those point without being dismissive (something especially important during work interviews/meetings/presentations for example)

[@linkalipski]

exactly! I have no doubt you can 😘@@martramT

[@nadafangirl]

Wow, wonderful video! Quick question, would you mind doing a video about Stockholm Syndrome and how to cure/deal with somebody with that syndrome?

[@craigrichardson1196]

Always love your videos. Feels like a casual conversation between friends

[@smaspa8627]

Thanks for doing this topic! It’s so refreshing to hear these thoughts. I go on air or are interviewed from time to tome and it’s also always the *exact* same as you described. ESP after the fact re: fear of being “outed” by my professional colleagues. So, thanks :)

[@drali]

smAsPa thank YOU for sharing your experience! Good to know I’m not the only one 🙌🏽

[@souleater5762]

Thinking about my future carrier makes me extremely anxious, I feel like I will never have the expertise needed to be good at my work. I'm convinced that when I start working as a psychologist cilents and colleagues will all be like "oh you don't even know what you're doing", it's jarring!!! i have no idea how to get out of this, it doesn't make me study more, i just feel like resignating...

[@kpfern2337]

What to do if I am REALLY not qualified? I work in higher education teaching something that is not my specialty (plus it’s a prestigious university yikes). In my country there’s a severe shortage of experts in this extremely unpopular field so my uni had to accept people with a master’s instead of a PhD. Worse still, I did my master’s in another field, and only had a basic understand of what I’m supposed to an expert in. Long story short, I AM really an imposter. I honestly don’t understand why I was offered the job in the first place. I’m living in a constant fear of being called out. And if it did happen, I deserved those criticisms. It doesn’t help at all that I have a baby face (everyone thinks I’m a first-year student, not a lecturer. I could even pass off as a 18-year-old). And at one point, one of the more experienced professors who is a also bully intentionally exposed my lack of ability in front of the students. I wish I could just escape. Basically, I feel like a kid masquerading as a lecturer. I wish I could just walk away from this job, but that would really damage my reputation and caused a lot of problems for the department (it’s understaffed). Any advice on how to survive?

[@MagisterialVoyager]

Thank you so much for making video about this. I suppose I'm currently having this syndrome, considering I don't think I'm worthy for scholarship when I'm literally a valedictorian with almost perfect GPA. Maybe it's because I'm Asian. Maybe this is also a chance to take better care and understanding with myself.

[@nikonikosensei6682]

Yup, lol. I started making content a few months ago and have very much felt the same feelings. Eventually, I just made a video talking about all my worries and insecurities and since then it hasn't been that much of an issue. Caveats help a lot: "as far as I know," "this is what I've learned so far," "based on research I've read," etc. After I've admitted such things, I feel far less of a burden lol. Cheers.

[@CherisseThibaut]

You explained this so well thank you 🙏

[@CelineOng]

I used to have a bit of imposter syndrome and I try to avoid situations that I cannot be myself

[@kevinma8212]

I love this channel so much

[@drali]

Awww thanks so much! What do you get most out of this channel? Knowing that will help me to make more stuff that helps this community.

[@viralpatel3675]

I have been there many times... I am sort of an introvert so I do not tend to brag about me but when in some situation I really become doubtful about me and things comes up in my mind like "ooh they must be smarter because they have been to that school or college" "see they have x years of work ex so I must be wrong" "Ohhh I haven't struggle as much as them in past so my achievements are nothing" ... etc etc

[@SueYisoSueet]

Yeah I definitely fall into the procrastination arm of this...

[@rosamumstarbreeze]

Recently i felt like i was an imposter. I was trying to grow my hair out but my forehead was receding. I cut it short. Now i feel less like an imposter. I accept how i look so i can accept the other parts wayy more easily now. Im a really cool person with a really big head. Im finally cool with that. Also i was really big into going to raves and shows. But felt i was starting to look way old. People accepted me less and as i grew older i look even more ethic then i did before. Some younger ppl will try to rob me at skateparks. Not only did i feel unhip i felt unable to defend myself and more so do to lack of numbers. Even though the music was in my heart. I felt like an imposter. All the people i raved with either turned into yuppies or succeeded in their creative fields. Im 30 and still broke. How did i change my thoughts? By buckling down and looking for a job and holding one. By practicing my music wayyyyy more. By dressing more my age getting a fade appreciating the fact i can grow a full beard. By really though. The main thing was cutting my hair short and accepting the fact that i was never going to look like justin beiber. This made me happy.

[@rrbkumar7385]

Nice shirt 😉

[@annjoy6241]

Imposter syndrome explains my whole lifeeee. But it's sad how most people don't get it.

[@drali]

Hopefully you can find some like minded people here in the comments. Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@charlesburhans3908]

What if your life is an imposter syndrome

[@dhaniell0000]

This Is me 🙋

[@adtc]

It's those HBO episodes, isn't it?

[@drali]

Nope! It was this: What's it like to go through a panic attack | Netflix + Vox The Mind, Explained: Anxiety kzbin.info/www/bejne/epCbqKZsipx7Ztk. HBO happened much more recently 👍🏽

[@academicju]

I used to have imposter syndrome until I realized 99% of the people in my field are just googling things on the job.

[@Rohit-jv7nl]

sussy

[@ohmcharan3019]

Sussy sus

[@rosamumstarbreeze]

Its when our brains are immune to dopamine. When we cant digest compliments as fast as throw then up. When we need to take a mental peptopismol to settle our brain stomach.