What is life like for the 'Average' Noble in the Imperium?

[@jorikrouwenhorst7220]

I imagine that there's a planetairy govener that was so brilliant his cititzens got an extra 1000 calories and 10 hours of extra sleep annually through his reforms.

[@sebastianrubin7476]

There is a fanfic called Ciaphas Cain, Warmaster of Chaos, and the running joke is that his constant attempts at sabotaging the coalition of traitors he find himself leading backfires spectacularly. At every turn, he reasons "Take what the Imperium is doing, and do the exact opposite - surely, if the obvious solutions were actually _effective,_ the Imperium would already be doing it!" I won't spoil it, but suffice to say, workers with decent hours and paid time off, free and mandatory education for children, an engineering corps worshipping the twin virtues of innovation and OSHA compliance, and an all-volunteer army with a doctrine that emphasizes force preservation, combined arms, and encourages initiative on the tactical level - it didn't hobble his followers quite as much as Cain expected it would...

[@appalachianwarcriminal]

​@@sebastianrubin7476 link?

[@MR.LMR1996]

There are planets whose ruling Planetary Govenors do try to make the effort. Sadly such Govenors are the exception instead of the rule. If I was an Imperium Citizen? I'd rather be born and raised in the Ultramar Sector. Even during the worst days of the Age of the Imperium, that sector stood out as one of the better regions to live in over any other sector and planet.

[@appalachianwarcriminal]

@@sebastianrubin7476 link?

[@someguycalledCh0wdah]

​@sebastianrubin7476 I dont think Cain was really as inept and cowardly as he says he is. I think he's been doing all this because he knows it improves the lives of his subordinates and is the right way to do things because it works and has a very healthy and normal response to horrifying situations but he lives in a society where all of this is technically very very very bad and something you could be killed summarily for, so he isn't even allowing himself to accept that he is, in fact, the very legend they say he is.

[@Unregistered.Hypercam.2.]

Imperium nobles seem to be easily corruptible to slaneesh

[@Anaxemenies]

Yes and no. You need a thing to tempt them with… and what thing do they not already have access to without turning to Slaanesh? Slaanesh more appeals to ones that want or need more than their already obscene wealth and power grants them which is not as common as you’d think. Tzeentch could almost appeal more to the average ones since schemes and climbing the ladder is more their stock and trade. The whole existing in an especially hostile social order thing.

[@Unregistered.Hypercam.2.]

@@Anaxemenies Because when you have so much luxury it'll start feeling average eventually, now imagine them discovering there are more luxuries and experiences for them to discover, she who thirsts is the god of excess for a reason

[@andrewkelly8894]

Tzeentch is also pretty common

[@toospooky051]

@@Unregistered.Hypercam.2. do the imperium nobles know about chaos in the warp?

[@Unregistered.Hypercam.2.]

@@toospooky051 i don't think so , or at least most of them i mean... navigator houses 100% do obvs

[@robertsiems3808]

I really love this. You perfectly described how absolutely miserable such an existence is. "There are no good nobles. Those who are, are either dead or have retreated to the imperial guard to get out of this mess."

[@KalashVodka175]

There are good nobles. Warhammer Crime Serie in flesh and steel features the son of a rich magnate of the hive world Varagantua. That dude became a low level detective for the local police force, but he still lives in relative luxury. Yet he generally behaves like a good person. There are no absolutes in life, not even in the Imperium.

[@DamanHillard]

To participate in The Endless War is the only morality? 😆

[@noway8259]

@@DamanHillard *by imperial standards.

[@codyvandal2860]

@@KalashVodka175 The sheer vastness of the Imperium guarantees exceptions to every rule.

[@KalashVodka175]

@@codyvandal2860 Everything does but its likely more common than one would admit

[@BdogFinal14]

Why am I waiting for a chaos marine to burst in and kill everyone at the banquet.

[@j.p3289]

I thought the bird was poisoned and the noble would keel over.

[@dystopianchimp]

@@j.p3289 hmm you never know - the night was very young after all

[@danielturczan2485]

And interrupt Slannesh's work?

[@corryjamieson3909]

​@@danielturczan2485It was a Khorne Marine, not a Corn Marine.

[@tarinvernon7007]

@@corryjamieson3909 corn for the cornflakes!

[@JohnMitchem-e2k]

Life for imperial nobles: "MUST EAT BIRD BEAK!!!" Yeah, no... Give me my guard rations. I'm good.

[@kevinaustin51]

Corpse starch? Yum 😋

[@blindmown]

You're just talking about Asia. I'm in Thailand, and chicken feet / beaks are genuinely a pretty common snack, especially when you're out for a few drinks.

[@Spartan135]

​@@kevinaustin51 It's not just corpse starch. MRE's like what our current militaries using are more like what they're using,but a bit more with warhammer flavour.

[@Whanevs]

I am pretty sure there were cases of people diying of starvation near tonns of guard rations😂

[@Spartan135]

@@Whanevs this is warhammer after all. such cases are a necessary evil to provide the astra militarum with enough rations to survive the next day.

[@54lolman]

My dude, I was eating a slice of pizza, and the audio and narration you gave for the noble's meal. Just practically elevated the satisfaction of my own meal by 5x.

[@dystopianchimp]

now go grab yourself a roast chicken and goon bag for full immersion and try again to see what happens

[@54lolman]

@@dystopianchimp An idea but I would prefer something crunchy to munch on to match with the audio and bone.

[@Танус-е7э]

@@dystopianchimp not all servitors are lobotomised people. A lot of them are artificial lab-grown bodis which never had sentience in the first place.

[@Sanguinarius9999]

​@@dystopianchimpGoon bag doesn't mean the same thing to the rest of the world that it does to Aussies, be careful who your suggesting that to on the internet 😅. Or has Slaneesh mixed them together 😱

[@200YearsTogeth3r]

Bro I was eating scrambled eggs with toast and jam, and a few sausages, and I felt the exact same way. It made the meal incredibly scrumptious.

[@BeeptheLesser]

Have I been eating chicken completely wrong this whole time?

[@IAmSwatchingYou]

It's a reference to Ortolan, a fucked up but apparently exquisite delicacy

[@TheBigMclargehuge]

Reference? It's practically plagiarism.

[@chrislaf89]

@@TheBigMclargehuge Not really plagiarism if it's a RL thing that happens.

[@KS-PNW]

​@@IAmSwatchingYouso I'm not going to get into it but I've actually tried it and it was not particularly good. Honestly one of the most overrated vices out there IMHO.

[@thelimon4338]

@@KS-PNWget into it PLEASE don’t hold out on us bb🥺

[@3ggh3ad]

Slaanesh approves and offers more delights and excesses than your noble mind can imagine, just succumb to his dark embrace

[@dieselmech7340]

I apologize but iron within iron without. I will go back to coping about how Dorn made a better sandcastle than my dad by only meager percentiles. Also that I had to carry the whole heresy, and most of the imperium during the great crusade, yet I was fed convicts and deranged to be turned into astartes. My malding knows no bounds.

[@henryptung]

Really gotta wonder what would happen if misery were also brewing as a nascent god in the warp...

[@liquidlilith1169]

yeaaaah no thanks i'm more of a "one of the 10,000" kinda person

[@kallistiX1]

It's a good pain

[@3ggh3ad]

@@kallistiX1 the most exquisite and excessive pain

[@mnk9073]

Imperial nobles: *exist Slaanesh-chan: _It's free real estate!_

[@Walker733]

Ara ara...erm that's not it

[@mnk9073]

@@Walker733 No no, you got the spirit. Merry Slaaneshmas!

[@tillerzeit]

One of the things I'm reminded of about 40k the fact it's all taken to the final degree with how bad it is. While the lifestyle described is over the top opulent it's built of equally if not more over the top misery

[@maltheopia]

That's WH40K for you. Some 14-year old edgelords in Thatcher-era England went, 'the Empire from Star Wars just isn't evil enough, surely we can do better than that' and now we have this hilariously grimdark franchise.

[@hamanu666]

Dubai in a nutshell.

[@CorvoThan]

yeah still prefare this about... basicly every alternative in 40k

[@orumonuldor1340]

​@@maltheopiaOh, believe me, the Rogue trader era stuff was a hilarious joke compared to how it got. It was in the late nineties that Warhammer 40k began to really settle itself as the purposely worst future mankind could have. This was when Herman Von Strab was introduced. He really set the tone for nobility in 40k.

[@maltheopia]

@@orumonuldor1340 Personally, I think the descent from Judge Dredd-style parody of scifi to its current grimdark state was inevitable. 'I want my sci-fi civilization to be more dysfunctional, genocidal, and EVIL than the Ur-Quan, Dominion, Umbrella Corp, Yuuzhang Vong, and Aztechnology combined, yet I also want them to be totally badass and also the most sympathetic faction' -- well, what do you think was going to happen after a couple of decades?

[@cyberleaderandy1]

And none of the are safe from one of Inquisitor Grendel's ogryns smashing in their doors and being dragged away by the Inquisition under suspicion of being a heritic.

[@lostbutfreesoul]

As if no matter what door is broken down, they have guaranteed the heretic behind it.

[@TannuWannu]

"ah, an ogryn servant has arrived. what is your role here brute? table-clearer?" "SKAL'BRAKAH." "Skull..Break-? Who's Skull?" "YA'ORS."

[@orang3k]

​@@TannuWannu this is great bro

[@laurennelson3918]

That’s why they pay off the inquisition through sponsoring them to have access to chocolates and exquisite surf and turf rations. They also provide tons of broiled dog liver specifically to appease Skal’Brakah and other body guard ogryn so they think the nobles are okay along with keeping their worse natures to themselves.

[@finalname-hs1ov]

Nivocado Avocado is noble from 40k Edit: thank you everybody for the likes. 1 like 1 bypass

[@bfg10000-Dawn-of-gold]

Lord Avocado noble of some distant planet

[@mill2712]

Isn't he actually losing weight at this time?

[@somerandommen]

​@@bfg10000-Dawn-of-gold Lord Niklis Avagoto

[@finalname-hs1ov]

@@somerandommen He would be tube connected to servitors with extra stomachs

[@magoodada]

Same

[@etorres4u]

imagine a game of thrones type show about the nobility in the Imperium

[@SquareNoggin]

I don't know if they could pull it off. I'd settle for a complex political grand strategy game about them. Crusader Kings 40k type thing.

[@ragingsun1615]

I’d settle for a Downton Abbey type show about the nobility in the Imperium.

[@sillypinkewe]

Dune books. They Inspired W40K - the Harkonnen are the absolute of decadence. But the other Great Houses are like this. The Emperor is insanely decadent and uses intrigue, blackmail, bribes, torture, threats etc. Not just the first 2 or 3 books that people usually stop on. The last books are thick with hedonistic noble intrigue. Basically the Fremen are the opposite, and the hedonistic don't understand or fear them as they are seen as mad, primitive and stupid. They aren't incorruptable but very close to it. The last Emperor .. no spoilers- but they use the decadence to navigate society and its future. Game of Thrones is also heavily based on actual empires of Earth. The Rich have always been an abcessed pimple on the butt of humanity. Cheers!

[@eniolaolu6862]

they did its called Dune Prophecy

[@SquareNoggin]

@eniolaolu6862 no

[@jbark678]

8:00 Somewhere in the galaxy, an inquisitor's spine tingled

[@Ld7snake]

My Heresy Senses are tingling

[@malonsan4671]

😂

[@Wyd.joshua02]

😭😭😭

[@Dennis-lz9lw]

Instead of all the other Narrators just reading off wiki articles over an image gallery (although I like their content too) you truly exceed them by offering something much more interesting to listen to, can't wait to see what you do next!

[@EricDaMAJ]

Not as good as Baldemort but still very good.

[@erdene2476]

Whta narrators do that? I only know of onemindsyndicate who does that and he's vehemently hated for it. Curious

[@EricDaMAJ]

@@erdene2476 I think he's grouping in every narrator. Only onemindsyndicate does it directly from the wiki. Others, like the GrimDark Narrator at least re-write it into a narrative script. Even Baldemort does this (though he usually includes damn good stories too). Especially the pure AI channels that popped out of nowhere this year.

[@insertname9736]

Wut? He's doing the exact same as the others, lmao. But he instead reads from the books and not the wikis, tho.

[@grawlix-man463]

​@@insertname9736I mean... he's not. Info is taken from the books but yes clearly using it to make a small scene for you instead of reading it in a un-immersive, outside universe perspective.

[@Raptanax]

I imagine there are likely a wide variety of highborn cultures in the vastness of the Imperium. Some more decadent, others more spartan. All of them taught in the ways of taking and keeping power.

[@Scriptedviolince]

If the Immaterium is a reflection of the Materium, you can definitely see why the warp is so horrible. It's horrible because the Imperium is horrible. There is a reason why chaos corruption wasn't a going concern during the days of the Federation.

[@XShadowzVarcolac]

Or maybe because chaos was being kept in check by the Eldar during daot at least until slaanesh was born which did fuck everything over.

[@orumonuldor1340]

It's more than that my friend, both worlds reflect the other. As the material universe worsens, so too does the warp, which then influences the normal world. It's a feedback loop.

[@Scriptedviolince]

@orumonuldor1340 even then, when the Federation collapsed after the Iron War and the warp storms cut FTL travel, communication, and governance, Chaos still wasn't a systematic concern until the Anathema decided to spread his fascist genocidal empire across the entirety of the milky way galaxy. The Interex had a categorically better way of dealing with Chaos but they got exterminated because the Imperium is a bucket of crabs par excellence.

[@dongeronimoI]

​@@Scriptedviolincethis. The Imperium was unnecessary in 30k. The Interex shows that better ways were available. But the Emperor gambled everything on 20 genetic and sorcerous monstrosities and now Mankind is locked in this positive feedback with the Immaterium, as mankind gets shittier so does the immaterium and it makes mankind even shittier.

[@TheSonOfDumb]

@@Scriptedviolince If they didn't want to get exterminated they should have had something to deal with the Legiones Astartes eh?

[@lostbutfreesoul]

Noble, and worse... pleasure worlds... have always confused me. In a universe where Slaneesh exists, you can't have these classes without ruin.

[@thatprofessorguy8316]

Precisely, why else Chaos corruption is so common place?

[@juimymary9951]

I think they function like the underhives, they are steam-valves to make sure the rot doesn't infect a big population center... ineffective but better than nothing I guess

[@josephjagusah8668]

As always with WH40K, what are you gonna do about it?

[@pinkbosschanel]

Slaneesh gets energy from people enjoying themselves but it’s passive unlike when people to excessive things right?

[@willietonka8634]

​@pinkbosschanel The power Slaneesh gets from just enjoyment ot happiness is paltry compared to excess. Although it is not necessarily passive.

[@flyonthe1stwall]

“I apologize for nothing” - Hedonism-bot

[@robzee5733]

Also: 'I apologize for nothing!' - War Marshal "Mad Dog" Kazan. He's way more attuned to life in the Imperium.

[@joashteo2896]

Especially YOU HEDONISM BOT

[@EricDaMAJ]

One thing that never seemed realistic was that 90% of the Imperium lives in dire dystopian industrial squalor. All subsisting on corpsestarch and tiny dreams of impoverished survival. Yet every world owes a tithe of soldiers to serve in the Imperial Guard. Skipping payment or providing low quality troops risks the Imperium’s wrath. Either from the on world Arbites or the Inquisition or another agency that can call upon the Imperium’s military to “fix.” Yet how can a world levy competent troops from such a malnourished, beaten down population? By requirement they need a portion of the population living at a decent quality of life to recruit from.

[@SplendidFactor]

They don't care. Guardsmen are fodder for the Imperium, not exactly valued assets.

[@SerCommander]

The first and foremost requirement that there must be exact number of troops equipped with exact list of weapons and equipment. The second is actually mutations - the less the better (those soldiers will travel the empire in contrast to majority of locals). As for how they fix the scrawny part - they either conscript the okay ones or fatten them up before they are collected

[@EricDaMAJ]

@@SerCommander The actual equipment and weapons isn't that much of an issue. Hive cities can make all that. Indeed they're dedicated to it in many cases. Or the Mechanicum Forge Planets will. But scrawny recruits isn't a simple fix. Quite a lot of American men who volunteered after Pearl Harbor were turned away because they grew up malnourished during the Great Depression. There may be a 40k nutrition solution, of course. But will it really be cheaper than just a regular diet of protein and vitamins?

[@SerCommander]

@@EricDaMAJ in several of the books it was mentioned that governors constantly tried to weasel out of providing teethes in q variety of ways - providing regiments with ramshacle vehicles and unusable weapons, crippled recruits etc. I think at least one Cain novel had this mention

[@EricDaMAJ]

@@SerCommander And they get away with it all the way up until they get caught by the Arbites or the Inquisition. Then they get purged.

[@napoleonfeanor]

Slaanesh and Tzeench are fighting over them. Plus, I sometimes wonder how angry the Emperor would be if he saw this. I'd also wonder what the returned Primarchs really think.

[@maihaiki888]

Exactly, all the shi they're doing is making fighting the chaotic forces EVEN HARDER 😭 Bros not gonna win if they keep up like this

[@Bariom_dome]

Guilliman must dislike them with a passion.

[@Amadeus8484]

I am beginning to believe that the Tyranids are the good guys, coming forth to punish the wicked and to put everyone else out of their misery. These unsung heroes who will end eternal torment and allow a new start.

[@VT11D]

This dude said said he paid for the WHOLE Dictionary so he's going to use all of it.

[@janemf]

what are you, eleven?

[@jeremeybeasley5682]

I feel it's more his cadence than the words being said.

[@maihaiki888]

I don't think it has to do much with vocabulary- its moreso eloquence, and as the comment above me said, cadence.

[@blizzardgaming7070]

It's called vocabulary, heard of it?

[@fakename7901]

The inquisition: "why are we ok with this again?"

[@Mark-in8ju]

You would think the Imperium would be stricter about limiting selfish behavior, given the circumstances of WH40K.

[@alabastertheunicorn3204]

​@@Mark-in8juwell it's absolutely hard to govern millions of worlds

[@Walker733]

​@alabastertheunicorn3204 True but it is possible to induce self-policing within a population such that they don't need an external government to keep a constant eye on them.

[@alabastertheunicorn3204]

@@Walker733 well it would need a non corrupt society and Warhammer 40k is written to be batshit insane always

[@MadMarx-ws5bp]

I'm overthinking here and it's more of a question. Why wouldn't they create perfect politicians and train them to the same extent as the sisterhood to predict, assess and deal with societal problems, distribute resources and delegate work efficiently, be almost incorruptible and spread pro- I mean spread the message of the Emperor among the people from a young age and produce productive, healthy, zealous, militarily educated soldiers?

[@EDDJOECORR]

The Imperium Nobility and their Perfumed Asses 😂

[@Urodahero]

Damn, really eloquent delivery and attention to detail is fascinating. I like animalistic, carnivorous undertones when describing a noble's dinner

[@dystopianchimp]

Thank you! Glad you liked the the vid ❤

[@Ariana321]

15:10 Animals, huh? I think the Ordo Hereticus needs to pay that man a visit.

[@dystopianchimp]

Agreed

[@alcohol-freebeer3642]

Inquisitor Headsmash thinks it's time someone brought him his big plastic red button.

[@plasma_master]

Rouge trader told me everything i needed to know

[@Herberberber]

The game or the books?

[@plasma_master]

@@Herberberber game

[@techpriest6962]

@@plasma_master Ahh... check out the books, the videogame is really bad fan fiction that scribbles all over the lore with crayons.

[@furioussherman7265]

This is the single best satire of the modern one percent I've ever seen.

[@themalcontent100]

I swear that Big E is an agent of Chaos. He made the perfect ecosystem for them.

[@Coppermeshman]

He did almost become the dark god of ruin at one point.

[@orumonuldor1340]

It's actually more of a matter of inevitability. When the first imperial governors were selected, they were the cream of the crop, military success stories, every single one. The emperor would only want meritocracy, after all. The first generation of descendants were fine, taking the values of their parents with no trouble, maybe even the second... But the third? Well even today we see how that works. Extrapolated across ten thousand years? It's a miracle that the Imperium functions at all. I hate to say it, but the Inquisition is absolutely necessary.

[@lilfattcatt7758]

Tbf by this point the imperium has had what 6000 years to evolve with him sitting almost dead on the throne

[@orumonuldor1340]

@@lilfattcatt7758 Over 10k years. The Imperium we know and love to hate is NOT what the emperor envisioned. The thing is, as bad as it is as a whole, it's actually had a very good run. I'd have expected the mundane corruption to cause a collapse merely three centuries in, not for it to be hobbling along roughly 12,000 years on. Especially when you consider that the chaos gods are doing everything they can to wipe out the Imperium from the get go.

[@lordlopikong6940]

Not really, the Eldar are much worse, they are more brutal and horrible. But only humans can make torture on boredom and psychological damage. Imagine being a servitor or a Astra administratum servant. Pure unique torture that doesn't fit into the other 4 gods.

[@donttreadonmemes]

Its basically the life of the average politician

[@sekarmaltum1695]

in germany, even the lowest tiers -who "take part" in parlament, merely by being present for a few minutes and signing papers (to confirm presence) get 10s of thousands per month, for existing dont get me started on their even more generous retirement fund for their ... "services"

[@jonahs8525]

@3:00 me in the work truck with my gas station fried chicken on lunch break

[@weeaboobaguette3943]

Roboute definitely will not obliterate them once he have a spare moment :DDDDDD

[@Warmaker01]

No he will not. The nobles are part of the Imperium's government. Their arrangements, deals with each other actually help run things. He won't get rid of them just like he did not do the same with the Ecclesiarchy. Remember that Guilliman came from a time when the Emperor was still around and the Imperial Truth discarded religion and superstition to embrace science and reason. Space Marines were labeled traitors because they worshiped the Emperor. Yet Guilliman accepts the modern Imperium's zealots because they are part of the show now.

[@marrvynswillames4975]

40k fans thinking being a noble is easy when in reality you gonna need to navigate through politics, govern billions and dodge hundreds of assassination attempts per day

[@damienpace7350]

still pretty easy compared to everyone else

[@realah3001]

So just the life of any noble in any timeline XP

[@mw9688]

@@damienpace7350 until you try to abstain from indulgence… then you are effectively damned.

[@techpriest6962]

@realah3001 That's all they are, sci-fi nobles. People exaggerate way too much what they are and can do.

[@lordlopikong6940]

There is literally no position that is fun in the imperium only rogue traders are able to have a blast. Not even the emperor had a good time in 40k

[@ratatoskr8190]

As a guardsman in my heart just one thing comes to my mind watching this: It is better to die for the Emperor than to live for yourself.

[@Amardonthe]

My mouth literally water from the food description in the beginning.

[@Awakened0101]

You know that bird is a cherub, right..

[@noway8259]

@@Awakened0101 Razorwings are not cherubs, they are weird dark eldar monsters so who the heck knows how much money was paid to get and cook one. It was *served* by cherubs who are weird imperial servitor monsters ;-)

[@cjthebeesknees]

Noble, Highborn, Noble savages.

[@NapoleonBonaparte5]

The Imperium seems like a weird mix of the old French monarchy and fucking ISIS lol

[@sarubet8725]

You wrote french monarchy twicw

[@NapoleonBonaparte5]

@@sarubet8725 Well the Versailles was full of excesses and debauchery, the nobility weren't really religious fanatics like those ISIS fellows.

[@-WarCriminal-22]

Funny how in my country we constantly compare our country to Imperium and it really fucking clicks a lot of times. Especially with the nobles being so far away from common folk it's insulting.

[@-WarCriminal-22]

I don't think it's ISIS, ISIS is way too different. They're not religious fanatics, they're mercenaries larping as zealots

[@smallxplosion9546]

ISIS and Robespierre were pretty similar if you think about it, quite 2 opposite things to combine into one lol

[@deLumren]

That meal description would make George Martin proud. I swear I could taste it!

[@SnappingTurtle991]

That was awesome you have quickly become one of my favorite 40k lore youtubers. You should do a day in the life of rogue traders next.

[@dystopianchimp]

Thanks mate - very glad to hear it! Will add RTs to the list ❣

[@mpalfadel2008]

@@dystopianchimpplease do

[@stefankatsarov5806]

Basically normal real live nobles/ super rich people.

[@crackedhammer4612]

Dang this is making me hungry, the guy who wrote this should be a food reviewer😂

[@dystopianchimp]

Great idea for a second channel - a 40k cookbook??

[@TherealGoorhoor]

@@dystopianchimpdo eeeeeet

[@STURYANPHUAYEWLIANG]

@@dystopianchimp dewit

[@RubyCarrots3232]

​@@dystopianchimp I'd show up to any video you make there.

[@IchigoGyuunyu]

You remember our venerable house, opulent and imperial. Gazing proudly from its stoic perch above the hive.

[@tillburr6799]

I thought this channel would have at least 500,000 subs. I would be here all day explaining why everything is just perfect. Keep at it dude youll get there in no time.

[@dystopianchimp]

Thanks mate ❤appreciate it! More vids on the way

[@Anduri.l]

The fact that millions of Guardsmen are dying the most nightmarish way possible few star system across and here nobles practicing Pride and Prejudice

[@lordlopikong6940]

Not only that, there billions of administration servants doing extreme overtime

[@MillywiggZ]

“We shouldn’t negotiate, integrate or work along with the Xenos. But, we will eat them.”

[@philiproe1661]

The ogres of fantasy approve.

[@mikedoesstuff6312]

Recognizing the description of Ortolan being eaten gives this a whole other layer of rich debauchery

[@hhjhj393]

I have only read two Warhammer short stories from a Necromunda book. I was really surprised with how much I actually enjoyed them lol. I loved just how oddly believable the authors made such an insane dystopian system. I also love the RANGE of Warhammer lore. That being said it all felt very DnD to me which makes sense. What I loved was just how EVERY part of humanity was basically all about mass production. In the books I read even the nobles were basically mass produced lol. There was a short where a priest basically had to speak to a princess, but to get an appointment with her would've been like 100 years out, and he had to wait in a waiting room with dead bodies lol. He cheats the system and gets to meet the princess thinking she will be knowledgeable and able to help him, only to find out it's like a 10 year old girl and just one of like thousands. So she isn't anything special lol. She basically is really simple and he tries to plead with her and she kinda understands but ends up sending him to the underhive (I think that's what it's called). I also read another book where the nobles basically enter political fighting at birth where even siblings compete against each other and plot against each other, pushing each other off the giant towers of the hive cities. I just loved how in these books the authors make sure to completely destroy any bit of humanity, and to make it as bleak as possible, but yet even in all that darkness, humanity does poke through in the stories. Even in all that suffering some people manage to form true relationships and to fight against the giant machines even if only for a brief moment. That's what I guess I appreciated about the underhive stories I read, they are portrayed as these horrible places, yet people still go there searching for freedom, everyone always dies, no one survives long, but there are just these tiny little moments where people get to be people again.

[@roercula8425]

From what book were they from?

[@Andrew-w2q2m]

Underhives are a utopia compared to the modern world tbh. The modern world is lifeless with no inherent meaning. Everyone fights for their own cause. In the imperium there is actually a cause to fight for. There is meaning, which is the survival of the imperium and the god emperor. Today the only meaning we have is "muh human rights" and "don't be mean to people haha". It's so empty and nihilistic, far worse than. The worst dystopia.

[@Andrew-w2q2m]

Modern people are intrinsically materialistic (similar to how the communists boiled down all of human existence to material conditions). This materialism and fear of death common in the modern man has isolated us and cheapened are existence. In the middle ages it was actually similar to warhammer 40k. You died early sometimes in a brutal or painful way. Yet you had meaning in your god and afterlife. A cause to fight for. Today we have nothing but fast food, and dumb entertainment. No great civilizational progress, leaps of philosophical understanding or human expression. Simply the human detritus of half hearted gestures, desires and platitudes.

[@jacoblambert5699]

Imagine if a single book of Marcus Aurellias and his teachings of stoicism survived and was part of the nobilities curriculum. It would change just about everything lol

[@crhu319]

Aurelius is the only reason Europe was not much worse than Genghis Khan all the time. He didn't invent stoicism but he showed you could exercise power using it as your theory. Harry S Truman was a huge Aurelius man and paid great attention to it as he designed the world you now live in. For now.

[@eccoeco3454]

The fact that a part of this is basically more or less just the description of eating a hortulana is so funny

[@dystopianchimp]

@@eccoeco3454 haha great pick up!

[@oxothnx]

Meanwhile that one imperial guard in some broken planet : dude my Lazgun aint working *looks at corpse starch can with tear filled eyes* I miss you dude, I miss you Timmy *starts eating the corpse starch like hungry animal* THANK YOU TIMMY! For everything!

[@jamesgorman351]

Fucked up

[@maihaiki888]

Just when I thought that living conditions in WH40K couldn't get worse they hit me with the corpse starch 😭

[@Yesnaught]

And to think, the nobility are actually essential for the imperium - both to generate an economy through whatever business they have and whatever wages they pay their employees, and to subcontract the work of keeping the common man under control.

[@gustavojoaquin_arch]

Cringe, the Austrian painter was right

[@Saphels]

Nobility doesn't do business. It's beneath them. They're privileged for their service to the Imperium in the past or service of their ancestors. Their public mission is to serve as managers, administrators, representatives, diplomats. They're civil and military officials of the feudal space empire not business people.

[@Philweasel]

@@Saphels It depends. The heads of Imperial Noble houses are often quite sharp and informed about all their responsibilities, because if they allow their fortunes to drop they have plenty of sharks ready to eat them (literally or figuratively). They probably have at least eight children of various levels of incompetent decadence however.

[@shipmcgree6367]

40k's magnificent lore must be protected. For The Greater Good. For The Dark Gods. For The Emperor.

[@ChristopherDwiggins]

Yeah, I wanted to get a limited copy of each one before they start playing Disney games n put them in "vaults" so the new versions can be made politically correct.

[@xsjado_anon]

​@user-nz6bk7lf8u too late mate, it has already started, with some of the older material no longer available at all, just grab some of the pdfs from older sites and encrypt them. Put them on an external drive in a small Faraday cage. There was someone from Disney making changes to the skies to add cloudy streaks prior to the VHS releases, he came out and his role was found to be real.

[@sarubet8725]

Its a combination of moorcock books, starship troopers and dune lmao

[@xavierharris7123]

Mf really hit all bases

[@МихаилРыбаков-ф6б]

WAAAAARGH!

[@serijas737]

There's something very ominous about the way how ... strangely average this sounds. I feel like something terrible must be happening somewhere, but it doesn't. This is really well written by you, gonna subscribe.

[@sassythesasquatch8036]

I love the story “fools” where the salamanders are evacuating civilians and they end up leaving this selfish noble to be killed by the tyranids

[@JMAssainatorz]

My man. youve just with this one video raised your self up to legends like baldermort in terms of quality!.(in my humble opinion ofcause!) Loved this exploration and story!

[@dystopianchimp]

Haha thank you! Love to hear it!! ❤

[@GhostBearCommander]

*Slaanesh, watching as the nobles indulge in more indulgence than most of it’s worshippers could dream of asking for: “Yes… yes… your soul shall be mine… and once it is, your Hive shall be ripe for my influence…”

[@WanderingWendigo]

Yesss milord! even sooner so, because you whispered that sweet nuthin into my ear in front of the inquisitor.. And he heard it.😢

[@LOCATION_REDACTED]

‘Let them eat corpse-starch’

[@dylanwinter7937]

The late Roman Empire is the closest the world has ever seen to the societal structure of the Imperium of Man

[@crhu319]

Actually the early Empire (Caligula, Nero, Commodus) is much closer.

[@ricks5756]

Such extravagances and over-the-top perfection ... almost sounds like something Slaanesh would approve of.

[@braydenchan302]

Kind crazy how much this sounds like P Diddy and his friends tbh

[@JerimiahBullfrog]

"I Apologize for nothing!" - Creed of the nobles.

[@ovrlrdstain924]

Bro made me hungry with his words

[@akramgimmini8165]

It's good to be Planetary governor

[@freshskittles92]

dude i love the angle at which you approached this. subscribed. about to watch all your content.

[@dystopianchimp]

Thanks mate - welcome aboard!

[@demoncore5342]

Oh not the cherubs, I wouldn't be able to eat with those monstrosities around!

[@8-7-styx94]

not gonna lie for about 5 minutes there I was thinking KFC sounded really good about now.

[@zeonmx]

Makes sense why slaanesh tends to and almost exclusively corrupt nobles and people in higher food chain in hive city, while grandpapa nurgle tends to corrupt the lowest of the low in hive city.

[@TraphouseTCG]

This feels like the most under developed part of the lord imo

[@jeanpierrepolnareff9919]

Intro feels like a restaurant google review an imperial noble would write

[@thebro3846]

7:01 ABELARD MY GOOD MAN GLORY TO THE VON VALANCIUS DYNASTY

[@Overanalyse_This]

One day I hope you do a day in the garden of Nurgle!

[@dystopianchimp]

Death Guard might just already be on the list 🤢🤮

[@Overanalyse_This]

Oh yeeeees!

[@American-Royarch]

Watching this while enjoying a large cord on bleu and thick pasta with grape wine.

[@jamesdeegan7365]

yes, slaanesh is very pleased with this indeed, great video

[@aragornii507]

Meanwhile the average citizen survives off corpse starch

[@DongDumb]

Damn the emperor would've been disappointed

[@HappyNoob17YT]

oh he is.

[@Ayden-vi1io]

The way this guy describes the food the nobles are eating is making me hungry

[@willfeen]

How much do you have to goon for Slaanesh to summon

[@dystopianchimp]

divide your rizz level and times it by your number of edge sessions per day

[@jimbomcbob7849]

She always watches ;)

[@Z5-XB]

Why are you asking me. Ask the dark eldar… at least 100 times a day to slaanesh fanart. They told me after replacing my blood with a painful toxin

[@RedObed01]

​@@dystopianchimpcan confirm

[@Zeke1460]

So…. Real life billionaires? They essentially do the same shit, just limited to 1 planet rather than the entire universe.

[@knightsolaire5362]

They don’t know it, but they serve Tzeentch and Slaanesh unwillingly. Normally plots and desires are harmless; but the degree of treachery and opulence that these nobles partake in is a lure for the dark gods.

[@Mark-in8ju]

You would think the Imperium would be stricter about limiting selfish behavior, given the circumstances of WH40K.

[@paulcruz168]

The laborers struggling through their 18 hour shift and the guardsmen fighting for their comrades are fueling nurgle and khorne plenty too. The gods are pretty fundamental to humanity

[@DeusAxios]

2:30 This is poetry.

[@Overanalyse_This]

Man said animals!

[@ilirlluka6789]

Those Cherubs man, can you imagine one of them gently hovering over your head in the darkness while you sleep in your room?

[@SquiddlyInk]

Dude this video is fantastic- from your voice to the ambiance in the background. Absolutely wonderful! Great work!

[@dystopianchimp]

@@SquiddlyInk Thanks mate - glad you liked it!!

[@blairshort1098]

"Ameteurs..." - Slaanesh

[@morganandrews9428]

That was an amazing video. Thanks!

[@mazimadu]

19:12 I like this guy. He looks so rugged and cool!

[@lordgrunwalder1607]

He is cool

[@CommissarKane]

I'm rather be a guardsman.

[@venkelos6996]

Very nice! It makes me wish for something similar, but a bit more focused; the Rogue Traders. In some ways, they, too, are nobles, but instead of loving in a spire of a hive, on a world, they dwell within the mobile hive that is a ship, and sometimes must journey beyond the bounds of the Imperium, and its "safety" to serve the two greatest masters; the Emperor of Man, and their own unlimited ambition.

[@Creatore8]

Its nice to see a warhammer lore channel that talks about the more nieches/normal things in the warhammer universe we take for granted, very cool work! Could we get a video on avarege dark eldar/eldar life? We get so little about them other than "stupid mon'keigh! You think you are on my level?!" Yada yada

[@dystopianchimp]

Will be making the dive into xenos lore soon... Emprah preserve me 🤫

[@Creatore8]

@@dystopianchimp WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO No fr, hella cool videos man, I love to speculate how the lives of the "lil ones" are in franchises like warhammer, you have no idea how big of an itch your videos scratch

[@malikapollard3618]

Those cherub wings need hair nets.

[@SUSSEO]

Your writing is very good mate

[@ThechaosInsurgency-1]

Your use of words mixed with the grim dark is simply perfect and commendable

[@loupnoirful]

Slaanesh would be proud.

[@philipanthonylebanno7089]

The first five minutes of describing the eating made me the most uncomfortable ive been in years, superb work

[@fjolnir3431]

Orks are the good guys in 40k, change my mind...

[@0bzen22]

They certainly seem to be the ones having fun in that grimdark nightmare.

[@hhjhj393]

I like the Tau, but I am a warhammer noob, I heard that people didn't like them so they decided to make the Tau darker? People didn't like that there were "good guys" in the story. If that's the case then yeah perhaps Orks are actually the "good" guys.

[@badabing3391]

the orks are the nobility but instead of sex its war

[@Darkstalker212]

Lucky.. even in the real world, I wouldn't experience nothing like this 😭

[@theirs7351]

this is so good how you don't have more subs is a mystery to me

[@Lambda420]

the writing here is just immaculate

[@Overanalyse_This]

It'd be funny if you did the day in the life of a Skaven that is like 30 seconds of them scheming and then getting killed. But i know that is a different setting.