What is Maladaptive Daydreaming?

[@twisted_tapestry]

Who else did this for YEARS thinking this was NORMAL until someone called you out for making faces and talking to yourself?

[@SaturnStatic]

I can't even listen to a song without my brain making up songs and characters for it and causing me to gaze out

[@toxicengie6166]

I love the fact that there is other people like me, this really helps at not making feel so alone

[@JFBrown1966]

I can feel ya

[@leidenswerkzeug]

Queen Of Memes Start writing… that’s when I started to see it as a positive thing

[@serinex8322]

I'm not the only one then ..

[@blackbuddha4437]

Tia Bear honestly sameee i thought i was crazy😂😂😂

[@reynapurnama4804]

i watched this, now i'm on ellen explaining maladaptive daydreaming

[@keenan368]

I just had an entire conversation with my bedroom wall (cute coworker) about the night I found out I was a maladaptive daydreamer (tonight). Now I'm smoking a cigar with her father on thanksgiving 2020.

[@lindelwanothandongcobo8863]

Grow up lol Hahaha

[@Helena-jg1ed]

Yep, I did a very similar thing

[@ieatgremlins]

at least I'm not alone

[@theduckyninja1086]

Thando Da_Spy what is that supposed to mean?

[@sarataylor2207]

I am glad to know I am not alone.

[@theduckyninja1086]

I remember before I knew it was maladaptive daydreaming, being confused and worried. I knew there was something wrong with me but I didn’t know what. I was so confused and I remember being upset because something was wrong with me. I was so relieved to know that I wasn’t alone and that there is an explanation as to what it is

[@Adam-bq2vw]

Same. I guess neither of us are.🙂

[@leilamathias-hayes2344]

I had to rewind this video a few times because I started daydreaming

[@rainbow9987]

The world is stressful, daydreaming is like a nice vacation.

[@klimakind520]

not nice when u can't drive, can't get work done, isolate yourself. :/

[@blubbblubb6239]

for me it's definitely not. I daydream about very sad and uncomforting situations and it prevents me sometimes to follow my real life. Further I can't control the extend and duration of my daydreaming. :(

[@snowqueen24]

Yeah, but it's not a good thing. It's addictive, and it can ruin your life.

[@snowqueen24]

I've been sober for 3 months.

[@dan-ho1zz]

Shawnay Warren how do you stop (it doesn’t interfere a lot with my life as far as I can tell, it’s just a little emberassing)

[@megofthemoon]

I’ve been diagnosed with depersonalisation after months of trying to explain this to my psychiatrist. I never identified too strongly with it because I don’t just feel detached from reality - I enter a whole new reality, on purpose, and knowingly. This maladaptive daydreaming term so accurately describes how I’ve been living my life for years and YEARS. I honestly remember doing this at the age of six. I’ve had one central character, who is essentially my ideal version of myself, but over the years there are probably over 100 made-up people who I’ve ‘interacted’ with in my daydreams. I sometimes feel a stronger connection to them than to people in real life. I never realised how scary it actually is until this year when I fell into a slump of doing nothing every single day and being okay with it because I was living such a good life through my daydreams. I would actually miss the people in my daydreams the longer I went without daydreaming. It’s so fucking good to see other comments on this video. It makes me feel less like a totally crazy person.

[@megofthemoon]

lovingolatunji no you’re so not alone on that!! Although I make up most of the people my ‘character’ interacts with, she definitely is friends/dates celebrities, always the ones which I love and am huge fans of. And what you said about adding her in - wow that’s crazy I have been doing the same thing for YEARS! I can’t explain how good it feels to know I’m not alone, wow. The weird thing is that I am not incredibly insecure (well not that I know of) in my ‘real’ life, and I believe I have decent friends and social life... I’m really sorry that you feel like you have to pretend to be this other girl to make yourself feel better, and I so wish I had some advice on how to conquer this but I’ve been using maladaptive daydreaming to escape my *happy* reality for as long as I can remember. So I don’t understand why I do it... maybe I am subconsciously unhappy or dissatisfied with my life

[@bluebie017]

I've also experienced Depersonalization with Maladaptive Daydreaming! I feel like I relate a lot more to my "alter-ego" than who I am or seem to be in everyday life; there's a very uncomfortable but conscious disconnect between the two that leaves me in a place of not knowing how to handle myself the way I wish or know I could so even when I tried explaining it to a psychologist it was unclear to her where I was coming from ('cause you know, I could daydream and plan the conversation in my head all I wanted but how it actually goes in real life it's a different story). And I certainly feel a lot more attached to my characters than the people I usually surround myself with. Until now I've seen people talking about daydream in terms of dissociation but haven't come across someone who targeted or fell into the same position as me regarding that. It was nice to know I'm not alone on this!

[@taylorh.3484]

Megan Kayleigh Hall I hate Maladaptive Daydreaming. It has taken me 11.5 years to just even give this problem a name. It has lead to my depression and Alexithymia. I want them both gone.

[@theduckyninja1086]

Taylor Humphrey what is alexithymia? I have heard of depression being correlated with MDD but not alexithymia

[@taylorh.3484]

The Ducky Ninja Alexithymia (without words for emotions). There are 5 characteristics of Alexithymia. The characteristic I care about is the inability to experience emotions. If you are not careful, you can lose your emotions.

[@thaismenezes7279]

I build storys everyday, my characters are always in search of happiness but they can never reach it. Actually when they are close to get that happiness i make them suffer more, cuz i want the story to last more. The stories can last for days, and when it ends i just build another one. For me its really a addiction. I suffered some abuse at childhood, and i struggle a lot to make life work. I suffered from depression and anxiety. Maybe that's why i daydream a lot, life does not feel very real to me, its confusing. Im 29, i've been doing it for 20 years or more

[@SaturnStatic]

Oof that's what I do two Like All my characters Pretty much never have a happy ending Literally the "stories" are just drama and shipping

[@toryacquisto8678]

Queen Of Memes samee exactly me

[@browngold3870]

Diane Nguyen I share the same experience exactly

[@browngold3870]

Diane Nguyen I am 26 and have been doing it as long as I could remember

[@DoroteeaZorici]

Sorry for you beeing hurt :(. .. But i cant stop asking why you people dont start writting down your stories, i m pritty sure many of them can be very touching and inspirational, even they are mostly sad ( because they actually reviel your feelings )

[@f1ftyfiftycl0wn]

I do this every day. I can't focus at school because I'll just start to day dream for the whole class.

[@sea-salticecream612]

I cannot say how relieved I am to know that there are others that do this as, for many years, I thought it was just a weird, unnatural thing I did and that I had something severely wrong with me. I tend to go into the daydreams A LOT, usually at least 3-4 times a day and the daydreams tend to last anywhere from 30 min to 2-3 hours and what tends to trigger them is music. I'm not sure how many others do this but I'll listen to the same song over and over and over again for my daydreams

[@strxb3rry_bl0nd33]

It’s one of my triggers too. Do yours also cause a sudden burst of energy or cause you to have trouble sitting still?

[@necordektox879]

I used to do this all the time, from early childhood until I was a college graduate. I would sit alone in my room, staring at pictures of people and characters while imagining an entire life with them. The emotions I felt were so real, when I "woke up" from my daydream I would be crying or smiling. I even talked or laughed during my daydreams, which confused people around me. I was a very lonely child, an only child with emotionally neglectful parents. So I spent a lot of time by myself. I think that had something to do with it.

[@Adam-bq2vw]

necordek tox How did you change?

[@kurotsuki7427]

My daydreams will last days or weeks on end. I take breaks, but pick back up at more or less the same place next time. There are times from my childhood where I remember the daydreams but not what happened IRL. I often make faces, gesture, and talk to myself during them which can be embarrassing when I realise I'm doing it in public. I frequently swing while I daydream and often have sores from how often and how long I'm there. Daydreams are wonderful and I love mine, but they can become a problem.

[@elmaschimba963]

Wow I literally have the same problem

[@snowqueen24]

Then you need to go cold turkey for three months to the first or second week of the next month. That's what worked for me, and I just got well two weeks ago. I'm sober from maladaptive daydreaming. However, if you are not going to take your sobriety very seriously, I can't help you.

[@tigerbarnes7898]

IN order to defeat Maladaptive Daydreaming, you have to give your "series" a finale. Tie up all of the loose ends with your characters, don't incorporate anything from media or a book or song, stick with the universe you already built. Then end it.

[@physiqueirm1586]

That's actually a solid advice, however for daily dreams you the only way is to check your self

[@Katxo1831]

Yeah but I have like, 8 different worlds currently lmao

[@SaturnStatic]

*cough* unless you have about a hundred characters

[@SpectraNyte]

Thanks for the advice, I've tried that. Didn't really work for me.

[@raito0512]

I hve different character different type of world and universe. I can get rid my characters by they will reborn and so on

[@lucyocallaghan1627]

My experience with daydreaming is just me trying to get through life day by day. I read a lot, I consume a lot of media and I pick off story aspects and put them in my daydreams. Sometimes they can be happy, sometimes they'll be borderline depressing, but it still, in my opinion, helps me cope day by day. Now I've seen a few videos so far that say maladaptive daydreaming can start because of a traumatic event or the like, which I think isn't the case for me at least, I had a good childhood, I wasn't beaten or mistreated, but I'm pretty sure I started daydreaming when I was still a kid, it was just something I did that carried on to my adult life. I was also very shy and insecure back then, less so now but I feel that may have prompted the daydreams, since I could make my friends there. At the moment in my current life, I go to work and continue to make stories in my head while also being able to come out enough that I can do work. It's almost like multi-tasking. During the bus ride to and from work, I put in my earphones and daydream the whole time, while also being aware of my surroundings. I dream I'm another person. And when I get home I continue to daydream freely. It is addicting. Like I said, I've been doing this for most of my life. I reflect a lot that it is strange and I've figured that I continue to do it because I'm not satisfied with myself as a person. When reflecting on myself I see that I don't like me, I see myself as useless and depressed and a waste and I realize daydreaming is my escape from me and my life for a while. Thankfully I don't do it infront of people, although my Mum has said to me that she's heard me mumbling to myself in my room sometimes and I'd have no idea that I even made a sound, I'm normally careful about that. So recently I decided to look up maladaptive daydreaming on youtube, see what I could learn. And even though I know it's not healthy to daydream all the time, I found it sad that a lot of the videos are about getting treatment. Again, I know it can get dangerous, but seeing that made me feel, I don't know, bad? I never saw it as something that needed to be treated since its something that's helped me through life for as long as I can remember and I feel like I have most of it under control. I make sure it doesn't effect me around other people. I don't know, to me maladaptive daydreaming has helped me. It's a sort of crutch. I think it's saved my life a few times too.

[@diegomelendez6630]

MissAquaMinxi So related with you, im gonna cry. Hope someday we will gonna be free of this.

[@sarawinestone1313]

same!!! I love that I daydream all the time like you said it is a crutch but it also helped me a lot with just not being as depressed. Even if i have a bad day i know I still have my daydreams to look forward to, I wish there were videos talking about the positives of it. Ive been daydreaming since I was 12 ( im 20 now) maybe before that but i think more intense and vividly then, my only worry with maladaptive daydreaming is that it will eventally get to the point of effecting my work or studies. how long have you had it and do you feel like it got "worse" over time?

[@ezekielcoronado700]

I agree with you last points. God made us all different to help us with our struggles. At least that’s what I believe

[@tia8291]

Sameeeeeee

[@gurukirupa9840]

Im literally afraid of myself now

[@dkdi6265]

Same

[@Adam-bq2vw]

Sorry to hear, and I think I understand. Is the fear related to maladaptive daydreaming?

[@harshshaunak6743]

lonliness in childhood and childhood trauma causes it.. it's addictive and we can't face reality

[@melissahourihan2344]

I've been doing this since I was 11 or 12 years old. I've tried explaining it to therapists, friends, and family and no one seems to relate or know what I'm talking about. So thank you so so so much for..idk just giving me a name to it. Thank you.

[@kneeapolytan]

I’m just grateful to even have a term for this. I’ve been daydreaming since I was about 12-13 years old. I remember the day that I started. It was like something in my brain snapped and I started pacing back and forth to the window, completely out of my body. I used to have nice daydreams as a way to cope with all the trauma that I was going through as a child. As an adult I used to party and drink a lot because that was the only time I wouldn’t slip into a daydream. But now that I don’t drink anymore, my dreams are worse. They are usually about me getting out my rage about all the abuse I suffered as a child. Like I wonder sometimes if my neighbors hear me cursing and wonder who tf I’m talking to.

[@KB-zq9ny]

I engage in maladaptive daydreaming to write stories or escape depression sometimes. Maladaptive daydreaming is not psychosis, as you're fairly aware of reality.

[@williamtobin2865]

Does anyone else talk to themselves and makeup sound effects with there daydream?

[@kingsloth4106]

Whenever I listen to a song, I have mental visions (You can call it daydreams) about characters. A different song causes a different character to emerge. I can also cause specific characters to show up by listening to a specific song or by doing a specific action. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. I know this is really weird, but there is one character in my visions that seems to be so intelligent and hyper-logical, it seems to be conscious? Sometimes this specific character gives me valuable advice and explains complex ideas for me to digest. This character overall is a positive for my day. That’s why I’m hesitant to find a solution to the visions. It’s like I can talk to someone that’s more smart than me whenever I need to. To describe some of the actions this intelligent character does, usually when I *call* them, they’re doing chemistry in a lab, writing things down, building things, or reading books. If I'm in a stressful situation that triggers my anxiety, I will put earbuds in and listen to the specific song to conjure the rational character and it will usually tell me exactly what I needed to hear to calm down.

[@marianamartins2417]

One thing that helps me a lot is writing the stories down, so each time I want to daydream I look for that story and write it. It's been helping me a lot.

[@Adam-bq2vw]

I daydream about being the perfect guy. Most handsome man in the world. I spend so much time in that daydream that I hardly know who I am as a person anymore.

[@posieglom3215]

I had this since I was a kid until in my 40s. It felt very dissociative to me--I'd change gears and just be not-quite present, and this would be for MUCH of the day. It was a bit like being high. It overwhelmed my life and kept me from moving forward and having relationships. It is quite serious and debilitating, and I can tell you it is very similar to having an addiction that lets you escape real life. Often the content bordered on delusion, because it would include ideas about the (real) people I was daydreaming about (i.e. someone I was attracted to) that felt real, even though deep down I knew the concepts were not real. But the FELT real, and it was hard to shake it and discern reality from fantasy. I don't think it's a mental disorder, but it is a clear and profound symptom of major depressive disorder, PTSD, .anxiety disorder, etc., and it is all about escaping reality, a coping mechanism. I'd put money down that when it is severe, it starts in childhood, for a child in a family unit that is psychologically stressful/harmful, from which the child cannot escape.

[@Satanabi]

I'm one but what I'm really scared about is not being to live up to my alter-ego expectations in real life. I often cry because the 'me' in my dream and the real one are light years apart. It is like hell and heaven difference and I pretty much get mild depressions from that

[@lotuswolf1518]

Same sis

[@Adam-bq2vw]

I understand. Same here. I think maybe it’s connected to perfectionism. We can’t be perfect in real life, but we can be perfect in our heads. Also, there’s no real risk in our fantasies, right? Just my opinion, not a professional.

[@spacesage533]

I tend to rock and back and forth for at least 3 to 5 hours while daydreaming and ruminating on my past wrongdoings. I feel shame so I escape through daydreaming. I ignore family and friends in favor or rocking and thinking. I think I’ll die on this couch watching your videos. Lol. I love your channel and have watching at least 500 of your videos. I’m going to try to watch all 3000 of them.❤

[@Noone-gw8kc]

It sucks so much.I usually pace around for hours daydreaming till my feet bleed.I can't sleep cause it hurts.Daydreaming takes SO much of my time to the point of dreaming on default...

[@srich3399]

No one watch the video as many times as possible whenever u think u can't stop daydreaming and u feel like u hv urge to daydream just open the link and listen to the video with headphones i swear it will work like an amazing medication

[@Britt3334]

I had a meeting with my characters and explained why I couldn’t see them again. I still get triggered by music, tv and long car rides but when I slip away I tell myself that my real life is just as dope as my daydreams. I don’t think I’m completely cured but I feel a lot better because for the first time in years I am able to look around and truly see that I have good reasons to emotionally and physically be in this world. And the best part of this healing journey is learning that other people are like me! I thought I was alone and crazy! I’m glad I’m not alone but I hope everyone gets better if they decide the daydreams aren’t working anymore.

[@cosmicpolitan]

I started doing this because I was bored, and then it turned into hours of my own personal epic soap opera that has gone on for years. I understand it to be a safe place to act out fantasy roles and personas. It's much like watching a play that will illicit real emotions without putting you in any danger. It's interesting that I always learn life lessons in my day dreams that I would otherwise not have learned in my real life. My imagination is the best cinema I've ever been to! I hope it doesn't get classified as a disorder.

[@williamtobin2865]

What annoys me about my daydreaming is that I cant write down my ideas every time I sit down my daydream disintegrates. Ugh!

[@FEV369]

Here's what I did. take an interesting story *idea* that you have had going for some time. Figure out your beginning, your middle and a soft ending. Before you say "it never ends," remember you control it and if you;re any good at MD, daydream an ending that appeals to you. Then start writing. Later, when you;re daydreaming instead of just wasting time, think of your story, not so much that you hate it but enough so that when you write it you have ideas. Make sure you have a time to write, enclosed and away from the outside world that draws us in so well... tree, light the sky and sounds trigger us, fuck me I said trigger... Avoid these things. If you can't do this, think to yourself that your daydreams were really never that complex, because you can't even write any of it down probably because nothing deep was really there. So make it deep... I mean, you're gonna be daydreaming anyways =D

[@whatareyoudoingoverthere1425]

I used to do this all the time in my childhood and teen years. I stopped (or at least tried to) as I got older and I fight it all the time even in adulthood. It feels good to get lost in my mind. But it only makes life harder as I fail to get things done.

[@verymadcheats2646]

I just started dreaming while watching this... Thats how deep i am

[@VicStAmand]

I used to be addicted to daydreaming, mostly romantic fantasy. When i was younger, like early 20s, i would spend weeks and sometimes months where outside of work or school, all i did was daydream. It was also highly distressing thinking about all the wasted time. Felt like a vicious cycle.

[@Mercedes.666]

I definetly think that maladaptive daydreaming is a form of disociation. (at least in my case) I completely lose "contact" with my body when I daydream My maladavptive daydreaming used to be completely unmanagable, it used to take over my life. but now I make sure to dedicate time to it while I do other tasks that dont require much mental activity (washing the dishes, showering, cleaning, being on the bus or in line somewhere, walking) so as to "keep it in check" I know I will never NOT m.d. (and I dont want or feel the need to stop) but I also need to do other things, this way it doesnt take over my life and I can study without immediately cheking out

[@elisabethwidding6954]

God I have never felt more understood before now

[@jenniferjones1778]

I’ve been daydreaming since childhood. I’m over 30 and still daydreaming. My daydreams are different it’s not about fantasy it’s something more then my imagination. I don’t want to stop it just comes and won’t go away.

[@gokharol]

I feel stronger knowing I am not alone. But oh do I resent all the time I've lost and all the small things I have not achieved, some are the simplest, like a job, like a friendship, like a first kiss... I dreamed it all away

[@leahdemeij9520]

I'm a big daydreamer, have been since childhood. I have stories in my head (usually based of fictional characters, rarely about me) and am addicted to dreaming about them. I can sit alone in the house all day on a chair just daydreaming these stories and feel contend at the end of the day. However, lately they are becoming even more frequent. I can't have a conversation without dissapearing into my head and when I realize what happened I just quickly pretend I listened or just say "sorry, could you repeat?" Ect... Drivers lessons are horrible because I keep nodding of and missing important road signs! I have honestly no idea how to concentrate :(

[@naiboimuhinyi]

I dozed off in a daydream for an entire quarter of the freakin video and now have to rewatch it. Thanks MaDD. Love you.

[@mreh1847]

Wth I like midway in the video I stopped and had a daydream about talking to someone that I might have maladaptive daydreams? But I'm not really sure if that like counts as a daydream. When I was in elementary school I build up worlds, I still have books just filled with random names so I won't forget it. Then I would sit down to the ground and just like tell myself a story about them. But I always had to shake my hands or do something else while doing it (like slapping the ground with a sock...I know this is very weird) By the time I got more and more ashamed of it and started doing in secretly. Like I thought "My Brother is staying somewhere else today so he won't hear me talking to myself" I was like literally planning when I could daydream. I still do it but without the movements and stuff, so just lying in my bed and daydreaming. Sometimes I need hours to fall asleep because I just keep adding more things. I'm pretty sure this isn't normal, but I also don't want to self diagnose myself. And sorry for my english, I'm german. Btw my parents don't know about this they think it stopped a long time ago

[@megofthemoon]

mensh n wow it’s the same for me!! I kind of tense up my fingers and move them around together. I’ve been ‘caught’ by family members a few times and I didn’t even realise I was doing it. I felt so humiliated. But I still continue to daydream almost obsessively... I try not to make any movements or facial expression but I catch myself off guard when I realise I’m still doing it. Feel like a real mad man sometimes

[@Helena-jg1ed]

Geht mir ziemlich ähnlich. Ich will mir jetzt auch keine Krankheit diagnostizieren, aber so 100%ig normal ist das Ganze vllt doch nicht. Ich habe auch das Video mehrmals angehalten, um mich (flüsternd) mit einer nicht real existierenden Person über dieses Thema zu unterhalten. Ich muss immer aufpassen, dass ich, wenn ich unterwegs bin, nicht irgendwie komische Gesichter mache.

[@grim5s895]

Helena same

[@pradiptamandal7762]

It took me more than 7:04 minutes to complete watching the whole video. Few of you can relate...I know

[@Aloszka7]

So good to see I'm not alone... it's a really frustrating and can ruin life if it reaches some high level and takes over your all days and nights

[@NoName-pu5ls]

I've done this since a child.

[@shawnawallace4582]

What helped me was to be present in the moment. But now I can feel everything and I am hurting even more

[@zanar69]

I have been a Md for nearly thirty years and i believe it is related to a weak sense of self or low self esteem or even a way to fill a inner void. Who knows? It surely kills boredom.It's really impossible to get bored once you get a source of inspiration, a thought. Btw , i'm probably the very first man who ever walked on Mars, even before Hollywood. LOL

[@littletoastcrunch3594]

This is interesting.. I thought I was the only one. I remember being younger and wondering if there was something wrong with me. Then going to counseling and seeing mental health specialist I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia.. (which it turns out I don't have) but I am now 23 years old and still act out on my daydreams and they can very much get in the way in my personal life and it's very noticeable that sometimes it's emberassing. I'm guessing this video describes perfectly what I deal with on a daily basis. Now I feel understood and less alone.

[@changnesia1044]

I relate so so so much to this, and even though it's not a disorder, I appreciate that at least it is being talked about and that every detail about it seems to describe exactly what I do, so at least I'm not the only one. Does anyone else do this while listening to music and a repetitive movement they do is to jump, even on the spot, and not around the room?

[@srich3399]

tardisofbooks it is a disorder.... it doesn't matter if it has been counted as mental illness or not but it is a bad disorder... it's not less than having schizophrenia and other hazardous mental disorders

[@MohitSharma-hf4ct]

I have been day dreaming since my age of 4 or 5. My teachers used to complain to my parents about my being lost in class time. I was addicted to it. I was not been able to concentrate in my studies. I used to day dream 6 to 7 hours a day & due to this my mind was always been exhausted. It made my school time horrible. See, may be it is a creative thing to do but we should not teach kids to do day dream. Because kids mind are not mature enough to handle this trait. They can become negative day dreamer & this may lead to depression, low self esteem, overvalued unreachable goal which if not achieved would make you feel hell on earth......

[@rb5078]

I've experienced this my entire life. I even struggled to pull myself out of a daydream while watching this video. Sometimes I have more control over it and sometimes it seems to control me. If only I could channel my daydreams into something productive like writing a novel. I'd love to participate in a study about this construct.

[@pottop880]

Just daydreaming of experiencing sad life events makes me cry in the real world. Like breakups, someone dies/at the funeral, etc.

[@strawberryflavouredcloroxb1565]

the sentence "it may not rise to the level of mental health disorder, ever" just made me EXTREMELY INFURIATED.

[@snowqueen24]

I have been sober from maladaptive daydreaming for two weeks. I just got well.

[@ronearles1811]

I do it as much as I can before I sleep in hopes those dreams carry over to my sleep dreams. Here lately its to correct for my loneliness. Its for creating my own romantic relationship. I have in past done it as like a story like living in the woods or putting myself in difficult scenarios to see how I react. I have been diagnosed bipolar as well.

[@PaperParade]

This is something I've been doing since I was a kid and it usually is very intensely emotional. I think it do it to self-soothe, but I've always felt it wasn't healthy.

[@abbasmahmoudian5236]

Please, help me! please! I've been trapped in this fantasy world for 21 years now. I'm 35 and the first signs of MADD appeared at the age of 14. I'm fed up with it. It impedes with every aspect of my life, from family bonding to my opposite-sex relationships, and from work to normal daily activities. It's so addictive. It's so resentful. I enjoy it but I hate it. I wanna get rid of it. Also, I've got anxiety. I think my problem lies in the anxiety. Please, help me! I'm from Iran and I've sought treatment several times but no psychiatrist or psychologist has any idea what it is. Please, help me!

[@LadyAcheron]

I have several recurring daydreams that seem to pop up mostly when I'm in stressful or anxiety provoking situations. I completely zone out and can't hear or even see things around me.

[@edmundyosores1018]

am i the only one with no repetitive or physical movements when daydreaming? I just sit still or lay in bed i also don't make facial expressions. :/

[@thatoneperson1783]

ED I do do facial expressions but I don’t always move. Sometimes I find it easier to daydream when I stay as still as a rock.

[@Euroisme]

Same. I sit still eyes open or closed, it doesnt matter. I dont pase myself and i can do it with or without music. But the best thing is lying down

[@FEV369]

That you know of hahaha =D

[@srich3399]

ED you may not have mdd

[@ginachance143]

i am shocked that there is a medical term for this. for me, it started when i was a kid. i would tell my mom that i was going to go "imagine" (that's what i called it) then i would go to my room, close the door, and do it. i NEEDED to be holding something in my hand in order to start. it was a barbie for most of my life, and it had to be a very particular one that i kept in my room hidden away. i dont know why, perhaps to have the physical manifestation? if i couldn't find the barbie, i would get extremely distressed. i held it in my hand and i would pace and skip all around my room. i had characters, plots, storylines, everything. i would keep the same character for months or even years. they were almost always based on people that i knew. i've had the same character in my daydreams for about 5 years now. i would talk, cry, laugh to myself sometimes for hours and hours on end. i was completely aware of what I was doing and i am totally capable of separating real life from my daydreams. it was a daily thing up until i was about 17 or 18. when i went to college and had roommates i couldn't exactly continue this and eventually it slowed to a stop. i'm 22 now and i rarely do it like i used to, it's more casual now. but when i do, i need to hold a makeup brush if i want to do it. i haven't seriously done it in maybe a year though... i always knew it was a bit strange but i never knew there was a term for it or that other people do it. i would love to hear other stories even if it's not similar to mine. guys, what were your experiences like???

[@blubbblubb6239]

Is there anyone with maladaptive daydreaming of sad/uncomforting content? I feel addicted to it, although it doesn't make me feel good in the end. But still there is a kind of satisfying feeling like when feeding an addiction...

[@n.w.aicecube5713]

Thanks for sharing your experiences, I am becoming aware recently that I have symptoms of MD . Literally found myself in the comment section.

[@antoniovelazquez6021]

Now I know excesive daydreaming has a name and I'm not the only one who is a big time daydreamer!

[@kayzleedavis5297]

I of course dont know if I suffer from this disorder but this is the closest thing to explaining what happens, mine mostly consists of negative memories and events that have happened in my life, parts of my body hurt, go numb, I klench my teeth, squeeze my hands, close my eyes really hard and make a face, I talk, I whisper, I make the exact noise, I throw my arms over my head, my body tenses and I'll hold myself, anything regarding how I felt and took that moment, I have good memories that happen too where I smile, laugh, whisper, talk, make my weird happy sounds, make the weird faces I do in normal conversations, and I can also have "daydreams" where they are strictly happy and are scenarios I randomly will make up. Everything i go through lasts until I get an extreme amount of anxiety of how people precieve these actions or even just the thought I did that, my bad experiences like to end after I feel the immense pain and "snap out of it because its not real" or I continuously can feel it for a while depending on the severity. I also can experience more of the teeth clenching, throw my arms over my head, squeezing my eyes, body tensing, making a very distressed sound or noise, all when it relates to reliving embarrassing and anxiety driven memories. I sometimes just make up events especially if im very mad and I will just start interacting the exact way I'm imagining it and this one is a bit harder to just snap out of, especially when I am in front of a mirror, a mirror can even be a trigger for others symptoms I mentioned above. I notice a trigger can be laying in bed and closing my eyes, and a big one is I notice is overthinking, my mind is always running and racing. I am and always have been imaginative and creative, I would, as a kid, have daydreams where I would imagine things and still like act them out, I never had an imaginary friend but I definitely daydreamed and acted out situations I was imagining really intensely. For the most part all of these things are very difficult in my day to day life because I could and can never control it, it just happens, a lot of things can trigger it sensory wise too, but the worst part is reactions from real people and for the majority, I will avoid and make something up that sounds more reasonable since nobody understands and frankly, im too embarrassed of this. It happens very frequently and so unfortunately it happens in front of people a lot, but I tend to do my best "covering it up" but sometimes I have really had to explain or mention something similar or potentially could be related to my actions, but with every experience comes further learning on how to better cover it in the future so I am a lot more keen at avoiding feeling completely crazy.

[@jerryrodgers8034]

I'm a manager at a food processing facility. I attend several meetings a day with customers to R&D ingredient specialist / Engineers and microbiologist. I do believe the fast pace keeps me from day dreaming. When I sit for lunch or if I'm waiting for everybody to join the conference call I have to concentrate not to gesture of make stupid facial expressions. I do get caught making faces or gestures with my arms and hands. My home life is very stressful. So I hide away in my man cave (garage) for an hour a day just so I can get it out of my system then I feel so much relief I can go in the house and interact with my family. I did start smoking pot and that helps me sleep other wise my sleep is 1 or 2 hrs a night. The pot is making me more of an introvert so I tell my wife to make me go out with friends. She does and once we got out we have fun

[@Baebaaaaae]

I love listening to music. Whenever I ride a transportation vehicle I always have my earphone attached in my ears, before I sleep I listen to music, when I don't have something to do I listen to music and I can't help but to daydream EVERY TIME I listen to music whether when I am in a bus, classroom, or simply in my room the problem is that I daydream so much and take it to the heart to the point I express the emotion that I'm imagining in reality without knowing it. I ride a bus, I listen to music and then I daydream of something funny depending on the music, I can't help but to crack a smile. I think of something sad my eyes get teary and I have to look up and blink fast just so tears wouldn't fall down. We don't want to make other people inside the bus to think that we're some dramatic kids, don't we? And lately in class, I sometimes found myself mumbling the words out of my mouth from my daydreaming state. I often stare to nothingness, daze off, even when I'm eating, I sometimes put my spoon and fork down, stop chewing, lean on the chair and stare to nothingness.

[@strxb3rry_bl0nd33]

I do this thing where I will sit and talk back and forth with myself all the time and I feel really embarrassed and stupid when people hear it and confront me about it. I wanna tell my parents but I’m not sure how, can anyone help? I was abused as a child and I have no doubt that that is what it stems from.

[@browngold3870]

I used to maladaptive daydream more when I was younger and I never talked about it but I felt like I lived in a whole different world with children and a husband and social life and I feel like I bypassed a lot of the trauma I was experiencing because I was able to drift away and fully be in another world. I forced myself to stop doing it as I got older because I couldn’t talk about it and I thought it made me weird. Now I do it sometimes as a stress reliever or to keep from feeling lonely. I know that when I was doing it regularly I had a lot of time on my hands because it just seems like a distraction now.

[@rumermarie]

daydream so much i came up with a whole tv series in my head about space and battle. wtf i'm insane

[@aliye1392]

It is the first time I hear this expression and maybe I have that. Since I was a child I always had a story going inside my mind it is like a series or a film I think about it whenever I can when I wake up when I am waiting in the bus when I was in class and now when I am working I am building up a story and I need to reach the end of it. I always have my hand free on and listening to music that matches the event going through the story, action, break up, fight, death, love or whatever. I never went through a trauma and I am totally aware that this is just my imagination btw. I enjoy time alone and I can skip many things and just enjoy the story inside my mind. I talk and act during the story. I remember when I was like 11my mum started noticing that I talk to myself and then I had a huge fight that I want a separate room from my sibling amd closed the door so I can talk freely I said I wanted privacy and they respected that but my real reason was that I wanted to enjoy my story. I was the top of my class at school and graduated with gpa 4 from university but I can't ignore the fact that I always felt the need to have a break and complete my current story. I spend at least one hour before sleep imagining. What I am gonna say makes me kinda scared but I am not stopping and I will never try to stop or control it this is part of me that parallel life is my hobby and makes me satisfied and even if it is to be considered a mental illness.

[@selfserveraw]

Anyone old enough to remember the song "Imaginary Lover" ?

[@chrismccauley6599]

For the last six month i have imagined an entire reality where i am the world richest cross-dressing music artist. I have 200 billion dollars, 10 platnium albums, can play guitar, piano, and just recently decided that i can play the violin as well. I live in a beautiful cottage, and the other day i was designing my imaginary garden.

[@thebonecone]

It's also a MASSIVE symptom of schizoid personality disorder. Nobody seems to want to talk about this, but it is. It just is. I'm willing to bet most people who have this are extremely introverted. Secret schizoid? Could be in many cases, and so goes unnoticed or misdiagnosed.

[@arnolddewet560]

I didnt have trauma as a child - I just prefer my own company!

[@marthahirsch1349]

This very interesting. This concept is new to me. Can you discuss possible treatments. Thank you

[@gvoej]

I could dream only and only while listening music at any time. I go to my own world. Is this maladaptive day dreaming

[@kirstinstrand6292]

I remember catching myself is some fantasy about a boy I wanted to meet, when I was in my 7th grade English class. This was when I became a bit boy crazy. I should have been listening but I was constantly distracted by boys. I could not concentrate on school because of my dysfunctional family, so I passed school time passing "love" notes to and from Ronnie. I wanted to be a better student but I did not know how.

[@valerievedette9542]

This... This fits me. So well.

[@lionkoo7949]

I daydream a lot to escape my anxiety

[@FrancesShear]

Good topic Dr. Grande. Wearig eye glasses can prevent daydreaming from becoming maladaptive sometimes not because the person daydreaming has some sort of neurological or soical skills deficit problem. For example when an elementary school student who is a head taller than the rest of the class has severe ambiopia which has never been diagnosed or treated while daydreaming at the same rate as the other students there. I know because both me and my brother only 2 years apart in age went through hell for awhile as elementary students only for that reason. For example my brother only because of maladaptive daydreaming during extreme boredom at school after understanding the concepts being taught already in a class often was later under all of the helicoptor adults aorund was once false accused of trying to kill a girl in another school and he was interrogated for hours by the nun school principal there until he gave in just to get out of the office so he could get a drink of water or whatever. It wasn't until the girl attacked identified him as not the culprit that he was exonerated from the evil deed. If it had not been for my mother who took the time to march my brother over the other school and sit there with my brother until real justice was going to be served I hate to think of what would have happened to my brother for the rest of his life only because of hatred, bias and jumping to conclusions based only on the superficial.

[@lycosa2000]

I've been looking for some kind of explanation for why I do....what I do. As far back as I can remember, I've always been like this but with a twist. I pace. I pace while I think but when I get into this daydreaming, it can be incredibly real. I'll pace and think about things I'm interested in. If I'm working on a project and trying to sort things out, I'll do this for hours sometimes. Even more than that, I'll have entire debates and even anticipate every possible counterargument in my head. I'll get caught up in a news article and then the next thing I know, I'm pacing and giving a speech to the United Nations trying to solve a world problem in my mind. I do this all the time and after going through a few videos about pacing, I've ended up here. I don't really have anxiety though which might have explained my pacing, so I had to keep looking. it's actually a part of my personality that I'm fond of. My family thinks it's weird and sometimes it makes my wife nervous because people tend to pace when they're upset.... and I'm not upset at all. I'm just in some thought experiment that I seem to lose myself in. The reason I've been looking for a video to help explain perhaps what is going on, is because I sometimes pace and think to the point where my feet, knees, and legs get sore. I'll go for hours and hours. Even when I go to bed, I'll continue to think until I finally wear myself out. It's just something I've always done. When I heard you say there's treatment perhaps available, I had a negative reaction to that statement. I suppose It's a part of me I rather enjoy. I don't know what that says about me, but.... it's who I am.

[@kaniSTAR]

THAT'S NOT WHAT EVERYONE DOES?

[@everest5224]

When I listen to a song one of my alter egos starts dancing and I black out for a bit and spaz out and I could even be still walking around and not know how I get somewhere in my house.

[@TempermentalTart]

Seems like mindfulness, being present and intentional would help.

[@ImHanzVT]

Maladaptive day dreaming and pls dont use it as *fun* cause its NOT cause you connot focuse reality *well sometime its fun* Buuuttt mine is sososos worst i even whisper because im talking in my day dream its so vivid and im so tired that i may affect my self in reality

[@dan-ho1zz]

I’m afraid if I have to get surgery and get on laughing gas then I’ll startvsaying shit that I did in a daydream and my family will think I’m a weirdo

[@ryandelta11]

Could you talk about Vulnerable Narcissism vs. Avoidant personality disorder?

[@DrGrande]

Yes I can. Thank you for the idea, I will add it to the production list!

[@alexpfafman5668]

I will zone out for 30 minutes at a time. I won't hear anything or really notice anything going on around me. One thought will stem from another and another. I will get nothing done all day. I also talk to myself sometimes and wonder if I'm crazy 🤦‍♀️

[@omarnajmi1340]

Maladaptive Daydreaming simply is skipping out of reality and looking to creating fantasy stories centered on you in your imagination and believe it and live it inside, that's what I think I was facing this disorder, ( and it's related to your lifestyle if you are not confident enough, you gonna fall in making scenario .... and so on and it's more activated when you listen to music very much ) .

[@Spoeism]

How does this play into creative methods? Is there a lack of control and impulsive compulsion? Could this explain "Imaginary friends" with young kids?

[@yannna_yan]

Bruh I didn’t know this was a thing no wonder why I shower so fukin long

[@assaun]

Once i daydreaming after a couple of seconds i can now control them,do whatever i want but my classmate taps me on the shoulder and saying i've been staring at the chair for 30 mns without blinking and i while listening my daydreaming continues but its different than the first one

[@tanyayasmin6101]

Does it happens to everyone in daydreaming that they daydream about getting into a type of person and literally be there and daydream and kinda pace out and then be in reality like it's so dissociative and embrassing as hell

[@avi8or20]

I daydream so hard it practically creates delusions that cause me to get stressed and even paranoid.

[@prettypritee4491]

Please make a video on how to cure Maladaptive daydreaming by self affirmations and meditation.. please..

[@einsteindarwin8756]

We are not alone!

[@rosemarrypolack5708]

What about an ADHD teen boy who carries on extensive conversations with people he pretends are there. Not in a schizophrenic way, but just doing it in general. At first I thought he was on his cell phone, but discovered it was not when I walked into the TV room. He immediately stopped when he saw me. I hear him do it quite regularly. He also will hold very intelligent conversations with me or anyone else. Kind of a loner.

[@gabyfahey9917]

I have this scenario in my head that I deal with every day where I'm given a pair of contacts to wear that have little receptors in them in the morning and people I know sit in a room and watch how I live through my own eyes and ears. This effects how I interact with people around me because I'm always conscious about the way the person in that room is viewing me. I know it's not real but I find it near on impossible to discconect myself from the idea. I also can't fall asleep until I daydream. I often repeat these daydreams because I fall asleep during them and they always feel unfinished. People tell me I look vacant a lot as well.

[@gabyfahey9917]

Also, whenever I listen to music I make characters about the songs and I get stuck in daydreams for hours.

[@rhobot75]

Dr. Grande usually anticipates my questions- And I am wondering what might be the difference between Maladaptive Daydreaming and Rumination/Ruminating. What I know is that my cat does not appreciate my ruminating and often knocks me back to real life, and her of course! But I like this notion (this talk was the first time I heard the term) and I like other people's positive takes on it. I know I spend a fair amount of time in my head in some sort of Edwardian fairy-girl meadow, and I like it there! .. But not a lot. I think I spend more time ruminating. .. My other concern is, not glamorizing the notion of Maladaptive Daydreaming after endorsing it as a possible thing to be in therapy talking about, because it could be using against people with fetishes and who gather to let them out (like Horse People) and people using the notion of MalDayDreaming to censor them. And I am also concerned after watching this, with the idea that a lot of Virtual REality and Augmented Reality tech/diversion is coming, and Maladaptive Daydreaming, like anything else fun in small amounts, could be used toward Addiction and Addict Behavior and Thinking. (I am a former nicotine addict, to disclose, and have spent a lot of time helping other people quit smoking, or to this end anyway... since the statistics are awful...) And I will look foward to Dr. Grande taking up more of the tapestry on this and teasing out these threads, and another thread would be (or should Dr. Phil talk about this?? haha) "Would VR and AR headsets and wearable gamewear/jewelry be useful to treat Maladaptive Daydreaming?" I think I guess after writing this out, I think the potential for abuse is manifold and huge. And it's such an otherwise CUTE NOTION AND MAKES US HAPPY! Thank you.

[@trillmoney263]

I’ve been having this for quite some time does anyone know how to stop it.

[@siluwilu1923]

Is there a way to get rid of the involuntary smiling that happens?