Your Constant Daydreaming Can Be Hurting Your Mental Health

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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Reddit profile
01:35 - Overview
02:50 - Hypotheses about maladaptive daydreaming
07:19 - Comorbidity disorder
14:11 - Personality traits and maladaptive daydreaming
20:40 - Network theory and maladaptive daydreaming
29:00 - COVID-19 and an increase in maladaptive daydreaming
30:15 - Questions/summary
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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.

[@whitenix2585]

The more I learn about these things the more I realize that EVERY aspect of my personality is a mental disorder.

[@FS-wd3hu]

Lmao

[@victorvolf3990]

Oof bro, I hope you're well. Take care!

[@darnielladd6131]

literally same and it kinda scares me

[@ichi7262]

I'd be careful thinking that. Many thoughts and behaviors can be both maladaptive or helpful. It's best to go through with a professional to understand the how of why it might be a disorder vs how it may be a unique and benign part of how you tgink.

[@bradenjlloyd]

Don't project a diagnosis onto yourself. I did that with all sorts of shit. Not useful.

[@Real-fussball]

I've always had Maladaptive daydreaming, its so embarrassing to talk about. I'm wasting my life in a delusion.

[@afeather123]

I agree, how embarrassing it is makes it harder to get help. One person in the comments said they thought avoidant personality was a big factor, which is true for me. I've found that confronting feelings of shame / embarrassment has been the most important part of dealing with it.

[@daydreamingbacklash97]

Idk about that actually, I've always have MD but don't find it so serious that it is embarrassing for me... and yes I've spend a lot of time of my life in daydreaming, but never feel like "wasting" it's more of a diferent experience for me. Maybe bc I have the anhedonia type and not the attention tipe so it's been kinda a decision for me I feel. But getting closer to 30th's has started to feel like I shouldn't do it so much, and I think it would be embarrassing to let it impede myself from at least try to get a girlfriend and a overall better life in the future so... yeah... we'll see, btw keep it up! U can talk to me if you want too, don't be so harsh on yourself I really don't think it should be something to be too much embarrassed about.

[@user-kk2dw1eh5q]

It's easier said than done, and I'm gonna be preachy, but don't be ashamed. Anyone that would make fun of you for it is just ignorant of it. You have to experience these things to really understand it. And personally when people don't understand my mental health problems I just think "I hope they never have to"

[@blepware]

@@user-kk2dw1eh5q halfway throught reading this sentence i broke into a fantasy of me explaining adhd to an ignorant nerotype and almost didnt realize it. wtf is wrong with me

[@theotheodorou1374]

@@blepware halfway through i fantasized of explaining it to a therapist xd

[@ruetube]

midway through watching this i came to the horrific realisation that i had literally stopped paying attention because i was maladaptive daydreaming about having a therapy session with dr k

[@intothepale3551]

that paired with the omori pfp is peak oof

[@destrya]

Same, I've rewound like 4x now jfc...just remember the fact that we are even aware that this is an issue is half the battle.

[@eviebradney2068]

I do this like every time I watch his videos, especially the viewer interviews. I also daydream about my made up characters having sessions with dr k

[@tryllani3097]

lmao

[@pizzaisneat]

It is sad to say but It took me like 10 minutes to get thorough the first minutes because I kept pausing to daydream

[@tangbein]

Problem with too much daydreaming is that it creates expectations to how reality is gonna be. You never know how reality is gonna be. It's gonna crush your confidence.

[@meriambenabdallah9495]

I agree, sometimes my daydreams make me believe they what if ? , but then I have to realise that no , reality does not work where" I'm going to meet a bunch of aliens and leave earth."

[@da1su_am]

Soo damn real

[@AlitaMee]

I agree I have MD and I would waste more time being dissatisfied with my real life because same amount of work were giving me much bigger results in my day dreams

[@nightynightshade]

THIS! That’s exactly what happened with me. Since I was a child my daydreams have been centered around romance and intimacy and it’s my MAIN issue in reality. It doesn’t help to have sexual trauma on top of that. But it really sucks.

[@tangbein]

@@nightynightshade Much of my daydreaming has revolved around the same. More specific daydreaming related to receiving attention and admiration from women - which has stemmed from my need to hook up with them(a need most guys have). Because of this daydreaming however I´ve placed women on pedestals which has made me incompetent around them.

[@mateobazan696]

I've noticed most of my daydreaming has to do with conversations with other people, like imagining im chatting with someone about my day or having a discussion about a subject, and I really wonder if since I've been alone most of my life that has become my way of getting social interactions, just doing it with myself :(

[@daydreamingbacklash97]

Same here

[@bambiblushofficial1275]

Are we related because same

[@darlin9153]

Me too! I also day dream of being around people that I am able to socialize with and feel accepted.

[@greyblob1101]

I not only do that but also talk to myself a lot, so much so another person might think im schizo or smth

[@LeMagnifiquePetiteEspirit]

I do the same thing. I notice it often and i feel sad. I sometimes have daydreams of being so cool and awesome and being appreciated. God

[@calacestar]

I kid you not, I practically daydream every single minute that I'm not cognitively working.

[@yudag]

Do you meditate?

[@NiallCosgrach]

It's hard for me to stop daydreaming, even when I'm working :(.

[@crystaleunoia3974]

I'm either daydreaming or anticipating when I can daydream again.

[@zzyzxzzyzx]

I used to do that too, and it was really hard to pull myself back into reality when I'd rather daydream, but then I started setting aside nighttime for daydreams and it not only made my actually excited to go to bed but also gave me calmer dreams, deeper sleep, and much more productive days bc I had smth to look forward to at the end.

[@artachi2420]

@@yudag does meditation solve it?

[@XxLadyxGaladrielxX]

That moment when you can't get through a lecture on Maladaptive daydreaming without maladaptive daydreaming

[@anusha2465]

Me 😂

[@sim_0me903]

Maladaptive daydreaming affects my ability to focus in lectures. I would be listening to a lecture one minute and then the next thing I know I'm daydreaming.

[@subarunatsuki1902]

@@sim_0me903 Yeah same. I only get half of the part and somehow try to get the part that I missed but it keeps stacking and then I end up far behind the others.

[@Fekuchand_]

@@anusha2465 what do you dream about 😀🙏

[@playmobilegamescodm]

I had this issue but with meditation it's solved 60% now.

[@ImprovementGang]

I used to do this a lot, but as soon as I started trying to make my dreams reality (own company, working out, speak better, etc) - the day dreams stopped. Trying to create the best for me in reality consumed so much from me that I no longer needed to daydream. Idk this is just a thought

[@RaijinRain]

You, your comment is my answer. Thank you.

[@IIIISai]

exactly, the things we dream about are stuff we want literally, i day dream about being a badass, but also Livin in my dream house, doing martial arts, having my best looks, but i envision them because thats what i truly need and truly want, same with lust, im no addict to nsfw like some people are but The only reason i view it occasionally if it pops up on my homepage and it activates my lust, is because theres this void in me because i have no partner, but logically If i got all these things i envisioned, no need for this visions

[@aarav34590]

@@IIIISai same with me, i also dream that i achieve everything, including control to time travel

[@IIIISai]

@@aarav34590 Goodluck bro, Fast travels 🤙

[@carl.wunsche]

Same here bud! 100%

[@ooi2239]

I got this thing to a point a came up with the whole universe of characters, their environment, visuals and interactions, so I started daydreaming about realising this whole story in a cartoon and getting recognition for it without any action on it besides picking up drawing. I had successfully outplayed myself in my own game 😎😎😎

[@decad3428]

wow that's ....i guess i'm not alone in doing that then .

[@CommissarChaotic]

same man! except i noticed that most of these imaginary characters exhibit some sort of depression or something

[@Angelofdeth20]

You and me both.

[@ZeroStriker165]

I used to do that too!

[@notarat9303]

man i used to do this exact thing, im not entirely sure how i stopped, but I thought I was the only one who ever did that. Humans, we really aren't so different after all....

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

I myself have adhd and I never thought this was a problem. I daydream because real life is so mundane and boring. I realize I was never interested in real life because I don’t like it. It’s much more entertaining in my head. Why just sit on a bus and do nothing while I can sit on a bus and daydream about fighting a dragon using ancient magic to save the city Maltos? I don’t do it because of anxiety but because I find it enjoyable more so than real life. It’s a way to cope with a world that I don’t like nor want to be apart of.

[@defavlt3693]

this is so relatable it's insane

[@_thewidow_]

agreed

[@m.e.881]

Have you considered that part of the reason you don't like the mundane world is because of your ADHD? Like, your ADHD is preventing you from finding enjoyment in your everyday life?

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

@@m.e.881 it is, but I can’t change who I am. I am practicing meditation, Buddhism, stoicism etc. I plan on controlling my daydreaming, not get rid of it. I’ll daydream when I’m on a bus or walking but if it’s something important to pay attention to I will stop daydreaming

[@marzipancutter8144]

From the sound of it, there's no problem there. People can do anything they want to pass time. There's no reason to "fix" anything unless a specific behaviour is either impairing the way you want to live your life, or is harmful to the people around you. In this case, I think there's nothing wrong with Daydreaming. Daydreaming only becomes "maladaptive" and therefore problematic if you lose control over when it happens, or it keeps you from doing stuff you want to.

[@austinlittle1638]

I've always fancied myself to be a funny, articulate guy. Problem being, I have horrible social anxiety. There's this really outgoing person trapped in a hopelessly insecure body. Lots of missed opportunities to make friends and tend to existing ones because socializing takes so much out of me. That's where the daydreaming comes in. It fills that void of a fairly lonely life. I gotta get out there, man. Forge some new relationships. Dr. K keeps pumping out videos that illustrate exactly what I'm struggling with to a point where it's getting eerie... and a bit sad. But hey, onward and upward. Edit: Thanks for the kind words everyone. In the short time since I wrote this, things have improved rapidly. I quit a few nasty habits and picked up a few good ones. Anyone else struggling, I recommend you do the same. Once again, onward and upward.

[@archibaldthejester42069]

Your comment really resonated with me, man. you got this, Austin! onward and upward indeed, wishing you luck on your journey!

[@precisism1804]

I am in the same boat as you man. I’m hopelessly insecure with social anxiety as well (although it’s gotten much better) and it’s confusing and frustrating seeing as in the moments I’m able to shed these issues and be confident I’m one of the funniest and most socially skilled people I know. I used to think I’d never be able to interact with people normally (despite knowing what I was capable of) but have gotten to the point where I can do that and much more on a semi-consistent basis. I’m still dealing with barriers and insecurity that are holding me back from the next level, though. Know that you’re not alone and that if you take steps towards self improvement you WILL eventually start to see changes and be the REAL you. Good luck on your journey.

[@therandomdickhead5744]

Same for me. Especially when he talked about ADHD and the shame of it. Plus the video about “gifted kids”. Hit a bit too close to home.

[@arushisingh930]

wow i relate hard

[@koza9842]

I feel you man

[@karimohlman52]

I daydream a ton and have several running storylines and characters, but mine is usually tied to walking around listening to music (other times are when I'm driving or laying in bed before falling asleep or right after waking up). I do it for 2-3 hours at a time when I'm walking or dancing around, but I figure at least I'm getting excercise. I find it fun and it gives me some time to myself. I don't think mine is not to the extent of impairing my life though, as I still have a relationship, work full time, read, write, paint, play video games, etc. Mine is usually fantasy based (magic powers, martial arts, sword fighting), and I get to help/protect others and have the ability to be a leader when needed. This thread is common in my life with work or anything team based (games or sports) where I work hard because I don't want to let others down and want to be someone they can count on.

[@thepovertysoldier9220]

Same bruh, I only do this on off days so as to not distract from my job, I fall more in line with grandiosity and while perhaps unhealthy I'm able to work very hard and perform my job to my highest ability, I think in part due to this daydreaming, I've been doing it since 12, it was very maladaptive while I was younger up until I became independent "at 19", then I just fixed myself and did it only where I had free time with nothing cool to physically do. I'm thinking of utilizing it for creative story building purposes when I retire from Navy.

[@LessSuspect]

This is exactly what I do. Started in childhood and just never stopped. Some of it is grounded in reality, but a very large part is pure fantasy.

[@fleeingmoment479]

Same here, I guess there are some who may be greatly affected by this which makes a lot of sense. Mine's also started since childhood, usually they're fantasies of what I expect myself to be, or just pure fun and world building with an overarching storyline

[@braydencraven3857]

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE?!

[@xclusivet1694]

Holy shit, someone called me out.

[@davetwo7]

One thing that I’ve noticed is that noise canceling earbuds made maladaptive daydreaming worse. For me music is definitely what allows me to daydream so deeply and before purchasing the Air Pods Pro, I didn’t have this issue. Once I got them I inadvertently use them to block everything out and immerse myself deeper into my daydream.

[@ohnoo4468]

I do this too. I feel like shit if I have earbuds in too much

[@thequeenofcydonia]

yeah music is a big trigger for me

[@darlin9153]

Music and earbuds are definitely a trigger. I'm glad to see other people are opening up about this. I never knew who to speak to about this issue. My mother and grandmother also do maladaptive daydreaming so I thought it was just passed down.

[@gimmeyourankles]

yes, music is like a key for my daydreaming. i remember i was ready to throw like 100$ on a headphone because i was thinking "bruh my daydream is going to be so much better with those" and then i realised i needed to stop.

[@deadinside8781]

Could you guys tell me what you imagine or see, if you don't mind? I find it really interesting

[@pauljs75]

The treatment for this sounds like getting out of a life situation that's entirely unfulfilling. However there's some issue with society that labels the coping mechanism with a "mal" because it doesn't care if it leaves people feeling trapped with no clear escape. Also daydreaming is better than getting heavy into drugs, flipping out, or doing something purposely high-risk/suicidal. So it's got that going for it at least. Taking that away from people may lead to other problems, if the root cause can't be addressed properly. (Probably why all those anti-depressants have those suicide warnings?)

[@mmoogl3547]

Sure, but it's not like maladaptive daydreaming is necessarily a replacement for other bad things. I know someone who suffers from this, but are also heavily into drugs, and suicidal. You can still develop these other problems, even if you don't have your daydreaming taken away from you. Taking away daydreaming just means that if you do find yourself in other bad situations, maladaptive daydreaming doesn't add onto that.

[@wolfVFV]

well yes of course its a better coping mechanismus then drugs and other coping mechanismen. but still trying to fix it if its a problem is always the best move Because its a symptome of a bad situation/bad state of your mind in some way. meaning: you have MD = you have some probelm with your mind/psyche that needs to be fixed.

[@power50001562]

No you can't say one maladaptive behavior is better than another in the long term, only in the short term. Over time maladaptive behavior generates more problems that will keep compounding until it's stopped or life ends.

[@LessSuspect]

If you're poor, just get more money

[@TimTamSlam7]

has it ever occurred to you that antidepressants have suicide warnings because they are, in fact, warnings for depressed people?

[@LegendaryStory]

Okay, first of all - when you said "before you know it, you're 30 years old and your life is empty." I'm sitting here as a 30 year old man, now learning that I've been caught in this cycle, and my life feels empty. I feel called out.

[@codeblue3490]

Literally me in a few years if I don't change.

[@_lil_lil]

I am 33 and... yeah, fuck.

[@crystaleunoia3974]

I'm almost 18 and I feel like I've wasted my whole life high on my imagination. I've only come to this realization recently and it's just torn me apart. I feel like I've missed so much already even though I'm so young. Kids my age should be out living their lives with friends, having fun, and making memories. I haven't done any of that, my precious childhood and adolescence is gone and I traded it for years of useless thoughts. It's the deepest kind of hurt, and I feel like I will only grow to regret this more and more with age. I might not be as old as you, but I can already understand the feeling of living an empty life.

[@codeblue3490]

@@crystaleunoia3974 It's good that you are aware. You have your whole 20s to figure things out and you already have an idea of what to improve on.

[@earlyman7439]

Not 30 yet but given my circumstances, how long this been going on for and also the fact that most state psychiatrists/therapists aren't really shrewd or aptly trained to catch shit like this, I have to do something about this while also remembering to forgive myself. No one really cares how you turn out eventually, you're just expected to cobble forward into self-dependance and normalcy, even if your only prospects are to do so alone. I'm still trying to figure it out.

[@justinkassinger8238]

I'm addicted to self improvement with out improving. It's real. And it's so destructive. Idk what to do. I'm 33. And have literally dreamed my life away

[@tulipbubbly3748]

You can do the Gyan mudra/chin mudra. It helps a lot, you can search it up. Also have sunlight for some time and walk on grass for some minutes. Have a healthy diet.

[@dhplaz1475]

Dont forget that visualizing/acting something out in your brain is a way to communicate to your subconscious mind which is a very powerful tool. Its like a phone it can either be used as a tool or something else worse

[@toast_on_toast1270]

That's interesting, like positive visualisation techniques?

[@solivagant1076]

But the thing is the things that they daydream is not always positive. As dr k pointed out people with MD may also dream about voilence and illness But yes if daydreaming/visualization is used in moderation it could be a great tool.

[@MayJade001]

I don't think so. I work out 3-4 times a week. I wish it was more frequent (5-6 times) but I often can't pick up the motivation to do it or feel like I haven't enough energy to do my best so I skip it. Then I often visualize myself working out.. I don't see any benefit too it. Similarly I often visualize myself being productive but I'm a procrastinator. The daydreaming makes me want something really bad but overthinking it and avoiding it. When I'm present I'm way more likely to get shit done cause I'm not thinking about it and questioning whether I have the motivation or energy to do it. Less thinking and more doing is what works atleast for me.

[@peppermint5117]

oh fuck,,

[@mranderson2048]

@@MayJade001 I remember Jordan Peterson talking about it. Many great psychiatrists/philosophers would let their mind come up whatever thought/dream it can... they'd analyze it and infer the mechanism of the subconscious. It's definitely not 100% correct but it works.

[@filipeisabelinho3425]

I've never been able to deal with the real world, ever since I was a kid I hated being in kindergarten, I hated going to school and I pretty much had tons of problems going to work... I've always daydreamed and ran home to play video games to cope with it, to a problematic extent and honestly, I've no idea what to do about it. I know what I have to do, but I have no will to do it.

[@j.p.3891]

Living in the moment is tough, uncomfortable and for some people, usually painful. Do you think you could face life differently than you're doing it now?

[@leocarbaugh5074]

Can't pick yourself up by your own bootstraps.

[@JamesDecker7]

Start small. You know the “real world” is painful. Much like building up physical calluses by working with your hands OR gaining skill in a video game, you get better by finding mildly difficult “challenging” situations then progressing to more difficult or uncomfortable ones. I’d also recommend doing such things with some level of external support (therapist, coach, etc). Maybe see a therapist to work on the underlying internal reasons you find the world so distressing.

[@maryamm8379]

Same it used to be problematic for me when I was a kid

[@therealmethatyoudontknow]

If you have money go to therapy

[@nepoznatiartist]

Maladaptive daydreaming has taken so many years of my life. The amount of time I wasted daydreaming instead of actually living and working on my dreams is insane. It has definitely come about as a coping mechanism to deal with my depression and social anxiety, using my natural creativity and vivid imagination. While the two are positive in themselves, it's definitely a case of too much of a good thing. And even though I tried to get over it for many years now, it is only now at 25 that the fear of my future has become stronger than my need to daydream, so now I'm finally fighting it back properly. MD might not be a disorder by itself, but it's definitely a symptom of something more complex.

[@savannah90]

My daydreaming is the cause of all chaos in my teenage life. I am just 16 years old, i started having an intense daydreaming when pandemic happens, 24/7 i daydream fake scenarios in my head. I can't imagine the regret now, when i daydream a lot and using my earphones all day with a loud music together with imagination is insane, I don't want to do it anymore it scares the sh1t out of me. My daydreaming caused lack of focus, i started to lost my focus year 2022 and the unforgettable event was that when i experienced having a hard time to sleep at night because of too much daydreaming i messed up a lot and got stressed so many night, and guess what? It leads me to insomnia and then after that i am aware i couldn't sleep again at night i started to stress my self again, then my stress is the cause of the second chaos in my life that it affected some of my organs and the function of my brain. Then after surviving the insomnia it gets better and i daydream a lot anymore however it affects me again and the too much stress leads me to a lot of mental disordes

[@savannah90]

@@nepoznatiartist yeah i am doing my best to fight the daydreaming even though it's hard to fight it since it's already an addiction of mine back then. Thank you for the advice you gave me, that advice of yours also for you. 💗❤️ Stay strong mate, no matter how beautiful the scene is, we must still close the window (I'm talking about Daydreaming) ❤️

[@Uizeroo]

@@savannah90 Yeah same here, it consumes a lot of hours in my everyday life. I'm 17 years old and I constantly have problems focusing on what I should be prioritizing (mostly studies), since I have to prepare for my uni life. But off of this video, I realized that I've been in a cycle this whole time, yet I never acted upon it. Thanks for sharing your story, just by reading your comment helped me realize that I am not alone with the MD as a teenager haha

[@georgeandraos2509]

tbh I wouldn't say you "wasted" those years..... what even is reality? all that matters is what you're experiencing in your brain. like ok if you hadn't daydreamed and you built in real life instead you'd have died without taking anything with you either way. you enjoyed the simulated reality you created and good for you that's a gain

[@Hamdhan_fx]

@nepoznatiartist it has been two years and please tell me you overcame it. i m tired of fighting it off...

[@redgreen2453]

I swear, sometimes it feels like there’s just no room for error in life. Like either you’re the most self actualized, most well rounded, most perfectly adjusted version of yourself or you get nothing.

[@sp123]

Whats really happening is that society is no longer investing in people nowadays so we see people whose parents developed their kids out of their own finances set the standard for kids who had little to no investment from their environment. Society acts like the former can be like the latter if they just try hard enough when thats not the case.

[@duatchol7710]

Currently just finished doing this for 3 hours today. Been pacing the past hour trying to figure out my quarter life crisis, I’m in autopilot, thank you dr k

[@georgepickle3404]

hi Duat, I had a similar thing at 25-27, trying to figure things out. Can I suggest what I did, which is to clean up your routine- like no screens 2hr before bed and 2hr after waking up. Also, exercise when it is hard, ie. first thing in morning 1 day run then 2 days pull-ups at park and repeat. once you've cleaned up your life and diet also, then you will have more energy to change things and more time wherey ou are alert and awake

[@BreakstarYT]

Ah yes, I remember when I was 26~ (4 years ago) I had days when I felt like my life was going nowhere even though I had a decent job and a girlfriend. When I had those episodes sometimes I felt like crying because of how hopeless it all felt. I find it funny because I have always been a pretty centered person so I remember also feeling "stupid" for feeling bad over a very common mid-life crisis. What worked for me was changing jobs and finding something that I had always wanted to do but never did, in my case it was "telling stories" so I created a YT channel which in turn taught me different things like recording, editing, etc. Basically focusing on different things than the usual routine helped me a lot in those times

[@lightworkersarah]

Hang on - you will come out more mentally stable at the end of it. 4-5 years ago, I was too going through a quarter-life crisis. had gained weight due to me poor eating habits while I was writing my master's thesis and was borderline obese. And did not know where life was headed. The first thing I would suggest is getting physically fit - clean your diet and get into some form of exercise. And its ok to take your time. Think about what your goals are. You may have grandiose goals and that's okay. Use that daydreaming to figure out what you want in life. No, you won't settle a colony on Mars but at least you'll know what you like doing and set a small term goal that's doable. Your unique daydreams are what makes you 'you'. Get any job that you can get with your current qualifications and start your hustle. You may not even want a fancy ass career but just a life partner. That's fine too. Get yourself together and seek out that person. I am going to be 30 now and have heard all the talk about women aging like milk and stuff. People think that your 20's are your prime. But frankly, 20s are quite a painful time that no one would like to reminisce about. I feel in a much better space mentally, emotionally and physically now that I am headed into another decade of life.

[@chicoz5087]

@@georgepickle3404 sir yes sir

[@slicker1260]

lmaooo bro was is this soo relatable i love u all in this comment section.. ive finally found my people 😭

[@skyephantom]

I dont think people talk enough about how hard it is to stop. Then again, I don't know if this is a universal experience. But with something like gaming or alcohol or other addictions (which this is), you can theoretically just remove the focus of the addiction. You cant do that when your own mind is your entertainment. And for me, listening to music is ruined if I ever decide to actually try to stop daydreaming because almost every type of music is a trigger to go and daydream for a couple of hours. Its frustrating.

[@trenched4296]

I daydream using music, I also have OCD, daydreams tend to be romantic or daydream of grandiosity, like becoming a filmmaker. I would definitely say I have unmet emotional needs such as validation for things I've done and emotional validation, so I choose to cope with a daydream as some kind of simulation to meet these needs.

[@bonkersdonkers7381]

Yeah same. I was the smart kid that never lived up to expectations. I’ve applied to med school 2 times and been rejected. This is my third time applying so I hope I get in. As a result of my inability to meet my family’s expectations I created a fantasy world where I’m in med school, or some hot shot neurosurgeon saving lives all over the world. I do this when I go for walks. These worlds are so intense and real, but they make me happy. I always feel worse when I snap back into reality, because it makes me more conscious of the fact that my life has been a series of failures.

[@9gang696]

This is literally me but instead of filmmaking it’s being a singer or music artist and I tend to imagine myself making/being in music videos a lot lol

[@unutilizzatoreyoutubbicoca7749]

same damn exact situation, filmmaker daydreams aswell

[@Foogi9000]

Most of my daydreams are either me as some form of mage or a time traveler who could go back in time and fix wide societal issues.

[@immerbeach5477]

@@Rodeojane it triggers mine . i have fully lost contact with reality and genuinely don’t know where i am anymore . i’ve been in my head everyday for years and my daydreams have clashed with reality . i can’t tell what’s in my head and what’s reality anymore . everyone thought i was schizophrenic until i told them that i knew what i was saying was bizarre but i’m so in my head that i can’t tell if it’s reality anymore . ocd is triggered because i’m obsessed with every thought that i have . i don’t just let thoughts go , they stay and repeat in my head and the daydreaming is making it worse because I WONT GET OUT OF MY HEAD . i’m fully attached to my daydreams and itll break my heart to let them go because i’m obsessed with them. my reality is so messed up that my mind won’t let things go, i have to unpack a lot and it’s been taking months . maladaptive daydreaming is so dangerous

[@jonettheonly]

I'm glad it's getting more attention these days. It really is pretty weird. I've done maladaptive daydreaming my whole life, and I was also a very sheltered child. It has only gotten worse since I fell into the NEET lifestyle and don't have much external stimulation anymore. I have anhedonia and lost interest in all my hobbies but my daydreams are the one thing I never tire of, but it makes living life hard... then again, since I am NEET, what life do I even have to live? It's a never ending cycle.

[@penelopeo8761]

im sorry whats NEET mean?

[@incognitox9551]

@@penelopeo8761 Not in Education, Employment, or Training

[@penelopeo8761]

@@incognitox9551 oooooo thank uuu

[@jonettheonly]

@@penelopeo8761 Not in Education, Employment or Training. Has close ties with autists, social anxiety sufferers, anti-capitalists, also plain lazy people lol. Basically it's the western version of the Japanese hikikomori where we're essentially recluses who don't work and rarely leave the house. The r/Antiwork subreddit was originally for NEETs/Neet-adjacent/people who believed in the "neet philosophy", but has since been commnadeered by disgruntled normie workers complaining about their jobs.

[@Mr_Wobot]

@@jonettheonly I don't think there are NEETs that are just "plain lazy". There is always a reason for their inactivity. Labelling some NEETs as just "lazy" means you're ignoring all the mental/physical issues they have and the traumatic experiences they've been through.

[@user-xw3ub9us2l]

Me daydreaming about giving up daydreaming

[@user-yz9nm9yi5v]

fr

[@daram2672]

LMAO

[@jessp3478]

I daydream *a lot.* Always have. I could never really deal with the world, never knew how to express my emotions, and didn't have too many people to talk to. I never even knew it had a name or thought of it as being problematic that I just lose out on time by constantly being in my own head. I just know that I need way more time to do an assignment because I'm unable to focus for long periods of time. I find ways to cope. I feel like I would check so many of those boxes if I could afford to see a mental health professional

[@nneo3231]

Daydreaming is fine as long as it's not stifling your growth and meddling with ur life. It's fun, like ppl have active imagination and play out scenarios in their head

[@elwiwi69]

Seeing the daydreams as "treats" was very helpful to me. Like they were sweets or videogames; I would really focus on not indulging into them during certains hours of the day, with the hope that I was going to daydream later. I would do homework, practice guitar or something. Then when nightime came, I would allow myself to fantasize all that I wanted Of course meditation and other exercises helped a lot throught this process. And I didn't succeded all the time. But the more you do it, the more you learn how you emotions really work

[@cayleece7890]

Wow me too! I set aside nighttime for it. It's kind of like reaching a "reward" after completing a long day

[@zzyzxzzyzx]

Me too, I don't waste time anymore because I tell myself I'll do it at night and it actually makes me look forward to going to bed. I fall asleep daydreaming now and I've noticed I have calmer dreams and deeper sleep, maybe because it's a destressing tequnique for my brain, idk 🤷 but I'm also way more productive during the day because I don't stop and wander off in my head.

[@SacramentalSims]

Wow I do this too. I only daydream at night with music now, especially after work.

[@Loloooo765]

So for u , you are able to control it. In my case i cannot, when i'm at college and even if i know it Will ruin many thing, my brain start to daydream automatically when i'm feeling bored or don't understand 1 thing the professor said. It start with thinking: what he said, then i'm lost in hus explanation and then I dayream Beacause i don't follow anymore. Even if i understand the processus i couldn't stop myself

[@celestialbunny]

@@cayleece7890 omg ::0 i do this, nightitme is my me time

[@gimmeyourankles]

i never realised it was a serious thing until 2 years ago. i spent my whole day doing this, i stopped interacting with my family for months so i could just be in my room daydreaming about my fantasy world. it got worst in 2019, so i just stopped doing this forcefully. it's been a while since it stopped, my social life got better but sometimes i caught myself daydreaming for a while, and i try to do something that required my full atention like playing ukulele ot guitar... anyways this works :-)

[@user-mz2yh6qz7y]

It's gotten so bad that there is now a clear historical timeline for all the fictional civilisations and shit i've dreamt up, with currencies, vehicles, heroes, villains, love interests, wars and etc. I can't separate anymore, normally someone would say, "when i was 12 blah blah", but to me it's like, "back during the era of the ..... civilisation blah bah". I would be perfect if i was making a massive IP like WH40K or Berserk, but i'm not. I'm convinced this won't stop till i hit the grave

[@rextitan]

You say you're not making a massive IP. Is that just not something you want to do? because it sounds like you'd have a great starting point for becoming a writer.

[@Hilde_mann]

Plot Twist: You're just J.R.R Tolkien and haven't noticed. I diagnose you with J.R.R. Tolkien Disorder. You should commodify it.

[@j.rlouis3756]

Why don't you write a book? You already have the worldbuilding done

[@user-mz2yh6qz7y]

@@j.rlouis3756 I am good at drawing, and ok at writing. It's bad enough trying to get a perfect replica from my mind down on to paper, but i can limit myself. It's just a drawing, only so much can be done to it. Writing would makes this 10x worse. I wouldn't be able to sleep or be productive elsewhere unless i go over absolutely everything, from why characters don't like using manual shift cars, to galaxy-ending wars. I'm afraid it would actually swallow me up. But letting it grow in my mind doesn't help either, so im stuck in the middle.

[@venmis137]

@@j.rlouis3756 From what I can tell actually sitting down to write a good book is MUCH harder than daydreaming. But perhaps it could serve as a goal to work towards.

[@ptrcrispy]

I feel like this is really bad with highly creative and/or ambitious people. Very often during the day, whether at work or even at home I think "I wanna create and get this type of video finished, I wanna get out and take these photos, I wanna get into music and write and produce an album about this” etc. These ideas repeat into my head daily until I act upon them. But I also realize that I hold myself back by getting distracted/overstimulated by things like Social media, porn, TV etc.

[@tadpole53]

I have trichotillomania and while I'm pulling my hair out, I daydream. (Funnily enough I daydream about talking to Dr. K sometimes LOL) My daydreams are always about talking to someone, being on a show doing an interview, being that pretty girl that everyone notices at a party and wants to talk to, etc. So clearly I think I have a need/want for social interaction and for people to notice how good I am at things. But I don't work towards anything, any little hurdle that gets in my way is enough to make me quit before I ever try. So I guess instead of actually working towards a goal, I can just daydream about it and get the pleasure and recognition from that instead. The problem is that while I'm pulling my hair and daydreaming, I kind of don't want it to stop. I want to "finish the interview" or "finish telling someone what I'm thinking about". And I'll go through the same thought literally 20-30 times until I get every word right, or I'll just get side tracked completely by a new thought and the cycle continues. AND SO, since my thoughts don't stop, my hair pulling doesn't stop, and I end up with more hair gone.

[@Zarouge]

I also have trich and I'm convinced it's linked to ADHD because I get completely distracted doing it and it has a "calming" effect while I'm doing it. It's more of a distraction than an obsession for me.

[@zzyzxzzyzx]

Have you ever tried setting aside a specific time for daydreaming? (I do it at night when I go to bed, so I'm not wasting time, and so that if I don't want to stop I can keep going until I just fall asleep, it gives me smth to look forward to at night, and also makes me more productive during the day.)

[@calvinwilliams1919]

Besides the hair pulling this is 100% me! I enjoy the fantasy so much that I repeat it from the beginning multiple times over, maybe at the most a slight change in a word or two, or a person , but overall the same fantasy. It’s probably why I enjoy being good at video games, because my friends validate me for carrying/clutching.

[@laguna4life]

Also a fellow trich and long time day dreamer. The common link seems to be OCD. The meditations for OCD help with both but make me numb.

[@AzzySunfire]

That sounds horrible, I hope you get the help and peace you need. For what it's worth, If your avatar is you, you are good looking enough to be noticed by some.

[@pictureglum9095]

i am a pretty serious maladaptive daydreamer, sometimes on the weekends i'll spend 10 hours lying in bed just daydreaming. this is hard for me because i'm not officially diagnosed with adhd, ocd, or a dissociative disorder but I am extremely obsessive about my daydreams and the relationships/characters/scenarios in them, tend to dissociate often, and have symptoms of adhd like wondering attention and impulsivity. i don't know exactly how to help with my neuroscientific vulnerabilities because there are so many directions to go in and I don't know how to go about treating obsessive or dissociative tendencies, and i don't have the will to do anything either. as far as emotional vulnerabilities, i can't decide between grandiosity, separation anxiety, or anhedonism because to be blunt i am all three of them. as far as coping with my emotions, i don't, and i'm too terrified to begin to because the reality of them is terrifying. I'm realizing that my maladaptive daydreaming is a problem but I feel stuck. I have a choice between hiding in my fantasies and letting my reality become even worse, or abandoning my fantasies and feeling the terror of reality bear down on me. I didn't daydream at all yesterday and the day before (forcing myself--so I know I can stop if I want to, the question is if its worth it) and to be honest I experienced little to no positive emotion and almost constant stress and shame. stories are really the only thing that make me happy, but its an all-or-nothing thing. I understand if i decide to quit, my dopamine levels will probably become better regulated but its really hard for me to see that right now. if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. i feel a bit hopeless and overwhelmed at the moment.

[@cureabees9440]

It sounds like you should really start by seeing a medical professional... It's very important.

[@akikabanu5885]

i recommend seeing a medical professional, it's nothing to be ashamed about, honestly i can relate! i did it A LOT when i was younger, similar to you, I am on the hunt to find a medical professional too! I think one piece of advice i can give is to think if it like an addiction, decrease the amount of time you MD in a week or decrease it everyday. You'll slowly get used to it. for instance, decreasing the hours by 10 to 9 hours or 8 hours, MD at certain intervals help (for me anyway). focus on reducing in the meantime and seek professional help! that is what i am doing anyway

[@pictureglum9095]

@John Grigg i think i could and i would like to. the only thing is, its really easy for me to create stories that i like because i just come up with an idea and impulsively follow through. structuring an actual story requires me to kind of take a step back from the passion that would usually get me writing because i would get stuck on semantics that might make me lose motivation. im not saying that makes it impossible for me, i definitely have the passion for it, but objectively i see it as less likely that i will pursue it (since i have tried it in the past and this is mainly the reason i havent followed through). i will probably try writing a story but not getting caught up on the details as much, because thats the only way i will be able to follow through with it.

[@bellaxeahrose8705]

I’m going through this same exact problem, I have several mental breakdowns because of my maladaptive daydreaming and idk what to do cause I can’t afford therapy, and I currently have to put all my focus in school :/

[@uatcgfhdhu]

Same.

[@SimGunther]

Totally get it. Every once on a while, daydreaming can be a useful way to "think slow" and conjure up creative solutions to certain problems. If it's too common of an occurrence, that's a possible sign of long term stress which needs to be addressed by changing your environment, education, or job situation.

[@modrribaz1691]

I learned to daydream at night only for when I want to sleep; daydreaming for me makes flowing into sleep much easier without effort. As in any other time of the day, it's really useless...since I'm the same... any fabrications of my imagination cannot change my past or now.

[@marzipancutter8144]

This. I haven't ever had to worry about falling asleep since doing this, even though judging by my blue light consumption, it should be way more difficult. It's also a decent pastime when you have to pass an hour or two in public transit and have nothing on you in terms of entertainment. There's also way better things to be dreaming about than self-idealizations. I'd rather set up characters and a setting and figure out a story from there, at that point it's like reading a good book, as long as I'm a good enough author. Or maybe it's like writing a good book?

[@FireJach]

sometimes i have to daydream to force my body feel ready to wake up. I wake upp but stays in the bed because i feel tired and daydreaming about hot girls makes me awake

[@rodiculous9464]

Tfw when maladaptive daydreaming keeps getting in the way of finishing the video about maladaptive daydreaming

[@anewagora]

If people lack REAL THINGS (1. physical, 2. social) to grapple with, they replace it with fantasy to grapple with. To understand something, to process emotions, to have creative and purposeful outlets. We need challenge. We need to grapple, we need the hero's journey. I hate how much isolation is being heavily forced on people and internet replacing real life. But it's a huge coping mechanism given how many people are severely dyfunctional in real-life relationships. Going online to people who are reasonable and empathetic is easier. When I hear about this daydreaming phenomenon, it sounds like exactly this. People using fantasy as a replacement for reality, merely coping rather than living a real life as a human being. "Modern life" seems to be complete nonsense at odds with human needs. It's profoundly alienating.

[@shaylynn926]

As a role-playing person, I mainly use maladaptive daydreaming to come up with fantasy ideas that I can act out with others. It's fine for a while, but after a bit, the daydreams for roleplays get boring. They get stale. And often times, I notice I don't really enjoy my daydreams, unless it's something I'm specifically asking to do. And most times, I get unhinged from reality a ton, even with grounding myself. I don't know if I qualify for toxic maladaptive coping, but it sure as hell feels like it's gotten so bad that I cannot grow up or accept anything as fact. And I'm getting help, but I feel like it won't work? If that makes sense.

[@ant9347]

That's so true, I get sidetracked easily, it makes the daydreaming unbearable sometimes because I repeat scenarios over and over again to the point of not wanting to think Sometimes my mind makes up memories that did not happen to me irl, it messes me up

[@ad_kk16]

If you think it wouldn't work, then it won't work. Time to switch up that mentality

[@EZXSniperZzz]

From what I have been observing with myself, as someone who engages in all three types of day dreaming, I have noticed significant clarity while using the daydreaming to define the emotional need. AKA, forming the "me" who needs to do something grand to right wrongs, the "me" who needs a good relationship, and the "me" who needs to do something breathtaking. I form them, and I embrace them. By both conversing with them, and moving into them. Despite how awful daydreaming all day can be, it's also a killer ability, as Dr. K noted. We can identify our emotional issues significantly faster once given the right tools. If you can daydream whole worlds with complex emotions, it means you can map yourself out, even the more edgy/villainous nature lying inside of you. Embracing the "Doomer" inside of you with love is really difficult. It's quite smart, as it's a part of you. It just takes patience. You have to be a full spectrum person, and not just the one locked in bliss. That's why EQ is important, especially consistent emotional regulation practices. Meeting the needs head on can be really really difficult, so getting a baseline is key, and it definitely helps elevate the quality of enjoyment out of the needs. Apparently, what I need is meditation, feeling out my angst, and journaling. More mechanical stuff include meditation, sleeping on time, and working out. However, I noticed the emotional need/regulation is 10x more important than the mechanical. The mechanical stuff helps, but emotional regulation is always what gets me "clear" again. Usually from a good cry/screaming in my pillow fit.

[@abhi739]

Congrats ur an orangutan. They got the same problem. Snap out with forced will Or waste ur life

[@AzzySunfire]

I understand this so well. I roleplay and delude myself into being my characters. I even fall in love in roleplay, with the characters. And then I get anxiety, a horrible feeling, because I know it isn't real, and I can't touch or feel these characters.

[@hushmychild6745]

I think a good point to also remember is that MD is likely a response to a PROFOUND sense of helplessness, a sensitivity to psychic pain (especially social pain which can be less tolerated by people with ADHD) and an exhaustion of means used to soothe these pains. So I agree with everything reviewed by the video. It’s a cycle and an inability to self-soothe, and instead, using a method over and over to help the individual cope. I feel that in some people like me this “daydreaming” is kind of a unique way of the mind in survival mode, giving to itself what it is desperately lacking on an emotional level. A sense of power, control, self worth, a place of belonging, safety, fun, magic, and relationships. Everything that makes life worth living, is in a Maladaptive Daydreamer’s soul. It’s a crushing and intense experience that is lonely, and it makes me feel that this life given to me was almost certainly wasted somewhere in the ethers.

[@itsalwayssunnyinwesteros2966]

Grandiose - Power, Dominance Separation Anxiety - Attention, Relationships Anhedonia - Violence But what if I fantasize about fighting people to protect my loved ones so they don’t abandon me therefore enabling my perceived and power and grandiosity?

[@maximus6791]

Yea i kinda mix all of them together smh

[@BlueCheeseCross95]

Same lol

[@xnj913]

5head

[@stegosandrosos1291]

🖋X X X BINGO

[@Krish-10]

Too much anime I guess

[@krissyeva]

The biggest problem I have when people usually talk about MD is that their solution to it is often to take away the MD and then blame you when you fall back into it. That's like telling a wounded bird to jump off a high rise building and when it does - you blame it for not trying hard enough to fly!!

[@nena5518]

This feels backwards to me. I have always day dreamed as a way of coping with the surrounding stress (newly diagnosed with asd ). However a few years ago I was put on a mood stabilizer to try to mitigate my recurring depression. It killed the ability to daydream. When my ability to escape in my head while doing some tasks vanished it made me more stressed and basically ruined my life. Im hoping that my brain will find a way back to vivid daydreaming. I was functioning better with it than I do without.

[@adnuserg]

I feel you. Severe stress does the same to me, while daydreaming is one of the best tools for understanding what I feel. The only thing that makes me sad is I can't possibly make my fantasies real, while it would both make me happier and more present. Daydreaming seven hours a day is a little bit depressing honestly.

[@animepl2096]

I take ashwaganda, it helps a lot with stress. You should do research on it and make sure you can take it if you are on other medications. I take the gummy form of ashwaganda

[@alainerookkitsunev5605]

Maybe talk to your doctor about it, they can maybe put you on another medicine (also many depression medicines have powerful sideffects initially, but they taper off/become less intense overtime). Or read a book you like or watch a movie that sparks/fulfills your imagination. Wim hof method has helped me relieve stress and after doing the breathing i feel very comfortable with my own thoughts.

[@adnuserg]

@@animepl2096 thank you for advice. After whatever happened this spring it's hard to know how my body would react on anything. I was cautious even with meds from my therapist and it seems that rightfully so. Even now I can't for example drink teas with caffeine (since one incident 9 months ago) 'cause my body overreacts to it and recently even mint tea started to feel weird. Currently I am on medication for my depression and away from main anxiety triggers, so I will save this for later. But funny enough my daydreams are fit for all three groups of "fantasy types".

[@gimmeyourankles]

Oh hey, i have ASD too. It was hell in the start, i was diagnosed last year and to adjust this information with your life is hard... you can do it!

[@nemplayer1776]

I've been waiting for this topic for a long time, thanks for covering it!

[@coolpfpbut9505]

Youve been daydreaming about it havent you

[@nemplayer1776]

@@coolpfpbut9505 I've daydreamed about being a guest on the stream talking about my problems with maladaptive daydreaming more times than I can count lmao

[@waningbloom]

I learned a lot from this video. My issue is having anxiety disorder. I worry so much about the future and the results that it mentally exhausts me. I noticed myself directly switch to my daydreaming/trancelike mode if I ever confront a situation where it’s possible that something might go wrong, even if that possibility is super low. It’s a fear of failure, but it’s to an extent where I shut myself off. Now, I can’t even do basic tasks like homework on normal times and instead wake up at 4 AM and start to do it because I start panicking due to deadlines. I know for a fact that if this keeps up, I _will_ crash. I have trouble identifying my unmet emotional need. However, I can describe the daydream if anyone wants to help me. Whenever I switch into a daydream, I dream about when I finish the task I was going to do so above and beyond colors that I, with my high standards, can be satisfied. If it’s anything about art, I imagine an entire animation cut that I storyboarded inside my head. If it’s anything about music, I’ll imagine a character or place that closely relates with the music. If it’s anything about writing or debate, I’ll just write an imaginary thesis in my head arguing why or why not a certain thing is good. Finally, I often daydream where I’m in front of a microphone talking to an audience of people. My mom asks me who I am talking to when I daydream that I’m talking to that audience. In my opinion, I believe that this is either a Grandiose or an anhedonic personality. I’m not too confident on either one though. Finally, for the last bucket list, I believe is the one that I need to crucially fill: healthy coping mechanisms. The problem is that I have a terrible discipline and willpower that every single coping mechanism I attempted never lasted, and I couldn’t justify it for myself because I felt like I didn’t completely cope. The other however, is that even if I find a “coping” mechanism, I end up not doing it because I feel stressed to even start it (which I am led to believe that this isn’t coping at all). The only things I can truly feel like I’m coping is 1. Sleeping 2. Carbs 3. KZbin in Bed. I’ve reached to the point where I going to my pc, going for a walk, or talking to my mom is stressful. I’m so stressed, my head is always numb and it hurts. Remind me to not be so prideful and get a medical professional. Only problem is what type of medical professional do I find, and what type of treatment would suit me the best? I dealt with this crap since Covid started. My dad passed away around that time, and I didn’t find my passion at that time. I really want to ask others to solve this problem for me, but deep down, I know it’s a me problem. I wrote so much. I’m sorry. I just want to learn to control myself and find enjoyment in actually doing my ambitions once again.

[@whickervision742]

If you've not graduated yet and are still a minor, there's admittedly not much under your control. So the advice is to just count down the days. Once you start gaining more freedom, things will hit hard and fast and require focus and effort, putting you more in the present moment. Honestly, if you're that anxious to be waking at 4 am for homework, why not just see what happens when you fail by only partially completing it (putting in a minimum effort) and prioritizing sleep? The outcome will hardly will be the worst thing ever and be your downfall. Nor will the outcome be as positive as you think... It'll be somewhere in between and might not even align with what you daydreamed would happen. But it might be an eye opening experience. As for talking to yourself (rehearsal), that's the stage of brain development you're in.

[@plasmaxl8626]

@@whickervision742 this is some of the best advice I have seen, as someone who is in a similar situation to the original comment, I thank you

[@xnj913]

Just try to do the things you are afraid of doing, if you fail try to optimise your strategy and then try again.

[@billbob3464]

I wish you the best of luck, but definitely be careful with any self-diagnosis. Maybe i missed something about a doctor but it is a slippery slope. Best of luck getting back control!

[@StrawhatBunny]

Maladaptive daydreaming has really taken over my life. I think it started in my late teens because of unmet emotional needs and the worse my depression got over the years and the more my life spiralled out of control, the worse the daydreaming got. Might be part of my schizoid personality disorder, seems to be a common symptom. Videos like this really help to put things into words, hope I won't be too embarrassed to talk about this with a therapist one day haha

[@abhi739]

KZbin is the trigger. Block all music

[@AzzySunfire]

I'm also a Schizoid! I daydream in the form of roleplays. I have over 170 characters I made in various settings, some are old and not used, and some I am too deeply attached to. Romance as well, but there has come a point where I am unhappy with it all. It no longer helps and satisfies. The dreams only tell me I am wasting my time, and that I gain nothing.

[@user-xn3rs7tu5w]

Tell me about it, I’m gonna have to talk with my therapist soon and let me tell you I am not thrilled whatsoever. How painful is it that something so beautiful as music can also be something that hurts you!

[@Elspm]

I realise that this level of daydreaming is considered maladaptive because it gets in the way of your life. However, for me as a child and the young woman day dreaming felt adaptive. When I was younger certain aspects of my life made being in the "now" very hard. Looking back in many ways I would say my daydreaming was protective. I distinctly remember the escapism being a way I could deal with a sick parent and a scary, unwell older sibling. Same with being on my gameboy or getting lost in books. I had to find a way to get more into being in the real world as an older person but it would never have occurred to me to think of it as a problem, so much as a crutch that got me through my hardest years. I've just been diagnosed with ADHD and Ive had to do a lot of trauma work but I still find it hard to feel I was doing anything maladaptive.

[@_lil_lil]

Yeah, I have ADHD and it's a way to make myself happy among what feels luke a dystopian hellscape where I am a failure. It's only when it distracts me from things I need to do that it becomes maladaptive.

[@jacksonknock1833]

Personally, I'm not even daydreaming about myself or a perfect version of myself. Instead I kinda create a certain character inside a certain world. After all I can only be myself, so there is no point trying to reward myself with qualities that I know I would never have. Instead, it is often more entertaining to imagine an OC, who is more interesting than me, inside a world that is founded on an anime I watched or just completely dreamt up. Depending on the plot my daydreaming sessions can last from several hours up to a week, during which I daydream every non-busy minute. And once the plot reaches its conclusion I lose interest in it completely. I can still remember and daydream about it again, but it is just not so entertaining anymore. In the end it's all about entertainment, it doesn't bother me too much, so I don't think of it as a problem.

[@ethio93]

Same boat

[@coolgamer3646]

Mine is mixed-up sometimes about me and sometimes about storiesI

[@bigmacgd]

How the fuck can someone get addicted to imagining things. I get bored after 2 seconds

[@jacksonknock1833]

@@bigmacgd Well, the entire D&D community is basically just a group of people imagining stuff. Still, they have LOTS of fun. Different people think differently I guess. I can't enjoy most of the shooter games, because they're just mindless shooting to me. At the same time I like racing games, even though it's just mindless driving.

[@AzzySunfire]

I understand this. How do you cope when you lose interest? I am at the stage where it gives me pain, not solace. I love my characters, but knowing they are not real hurts me. The dream is not real enough.

[@_rusvel_]

My daydreaming, sometimes obsessive daydreaming, is the biggest source of creative thoughts, proccesing information, and also the biggest threat of my life. I too often lose myself in this, and it has been happening for like 13 years (from elementary school I can recall how I go to school or seat in classes and daydreaming). I constantly fail, in some degree, to follow consequential actions/thinking I often use daydreaming as escaping the reality. For example, it's been never such a huge problem to go or do smth I don't want to do because I can always escape to my fantasies and thinking. Need to attend classes I dont want? Escaping. Need to do some useless work? Escaping. Need to go somewhere? Escaping. And that sucks extremely deeply coz I dont stand for my needs/wishes, I dont fight the world. I hand a lubricant to the world and say "i can even enjoy that" Too often instead of do something or try I overthink the problem or action and lose meaning of it. My nihilism is tune to daydreaming (or vice versa?). So many things I wanted in my life and almost every one of them was demolished to nonsense state So many times in process of daydreaming I found out how hypocritical I am. I constantly create imaginative situation where I discuss something with people or share my experience or attend interviews/therapists. I share my goals, views, thoughts, explain things, my understanding, my morals. Then I create another situation where I say and want different things. And it felt so real like I talk to real people and then feel really ashamed. THAT IS SO INSANE TO BE SORRY FOR PEOPLE AND FEEL GUILT FROM IMAGINATIVE SCENARIOS. It can easily interfere my mood and change it both positively and negatively

[@vladmordekeiser1054]

Add another cause for this maladaptive daydreaming, please: a narcissist mother. Or parent, I guess.

[@strikerofstars7543]

Up

[@theweresheepdog6446]

up

[@thesanetitan23]

Up!

[@thegreyrock2072]

Came to the comment section just to say that...

[@polaris.moon_16]

Does a "" schizophrenic"" mother count?

[@crystaleunoia3974]

I've been a maladaptive daydreamer for as long as I can remember and I don't know how to escape from it. Even when I was really little I recall running around for hours with earbuds and my tiny mp3 player to tune out the world and get lost in my imagination. I realize that maladaptive daydreaming is a hint for a bigger issue, but I have no idea what it could be. I'm stuck constantly strung out and dreaming of a person who I will never be, friends I will never have, places I will never go, and succeses I will never reach. Now that I'm older, all the time I spend daydreaming has great consequences and I've come to the realization that my life is wasting away. Everything is so bland and I'm nothing. I don't know who I am or what's wrong with me. I'm so scared that I will never truly live a meaningful life, I'm terrified. I yearn so deeply to be something and have amazing experiences, but it will never be as sweet as it is in my head. I'm lost on what to do, I wish I could just fix myself, but I don't know where to start and this is all I've ever known. It might sound silly when I say daydreaming is ruining my life, but I swear that this is not something to laugh about. As a life long maladaptive daydreamer, I think I'm qualified to say that addiction to daydreams is much more of a serious affliction than it may sound. If anyone could give me any advice on what could help me deal with this, I would be more than thankful. I want to finally get over this so I can pursue something greater with my life.

[@markrusso8546]

There is nothing silly about it my friend. Nothing at all.

[@EliseSecond]

People who dissociate should watch out with meditation. You need to have someone helping you with it in the beginning, preferably a mental healthcare professional, because it's easy to use meditation as dissociation. I wish people would talk more about this risk. It's a serious one. It could make the dissociation worse through meditation.

[@guineapigtalks]

I thought meditation is supposed to make you more present and connected to your body.

[@uatcgfhdhu]

Yep, happened to me. Now I just dissociate easily.

[@laguna4life]

Medication does work for me but I hate using it because I feel so numb. I’ve gone off of it countless times. Besides as someone on the autism spectrum the meds may stop the daydreaming it doesn’t stop the autism.

[@ramenaddict1676]

​@laguna4life they said meditation, not medication

[@kevin-su3lf]

2022 is the year i’m finally going to fight back against maladaptive daydreaming and I believe that all of y’all can do it to👍👍

[@jeremyjoe7494]

He describes 3 personalities that each daydream about something else and then talks about everything I daydream about... I do relate to the comment about finding the real life too mundane and wanting something more while I've been sitting in my room for a month trying to finish this big task I am behind on because of Covid. Not sure how serious I should take this video when applying it to myself...

[@sunidaze]

I'm only like 5 minutes in, but didn't know this was a thing! I do this a lot. I fantasize about the life I want. When I'm at my saddest, I would usually just stay in bed and dream. I literally never wanted to wake up. When you wake up out of the dream the world seems even worst and I'm even sadder. I also used to get stuck in immersive video games in the same way. it's a vicious cycle.

[@FreeJulianAssange23]

I found a trick for this. I found a couple sad songs that I love, even more than happy songs. This turned my sadness into a good feeling, sadness now feels like healing or trying to feel better.

[@DemonMaiden]

I used to daydream so often as a child/tween that when teachers or counselors would ask me what hobbies I have, the only answer I could come up with was "daydreaming". I would spend my mornings right before school and evenings when I should be doing homework just escaping into my imagination (usually regarding fictional characters from tv shows or video games- just being one of the crew), and my parents were so concerned that I didn't want to make friends they'd force me into after-school programs and the Big Sister/Big Brother program which I hated. Even when I made friends, I didn't like going out with them because I preferred to be daydreaming, but my friends would come to my house and get me out of bed. I am very thankful for them and look back fondly on those days. Nowadays I am a functioning adult, but I struggle with anxiety and people tell me I definitely have ADHD because I get easily distracted. I also tend to hyper-fixate on certain things, to the point of feeling like something will go wrong if something isn't done perfectly- so I might have some OCD. I blamed these things on the stresses I've went through in adulthood, but there's some relief in knowing that I must've just been like this from the very beginning. My childhood was rougher than most of my friends (messy divorce, abusive but loving grandmother, constant fighting, uncontrollable younger brothers diagnosed with asberger's and ADD), but I never felt it was bad enough to cause permanent damage to me because I floated along just fine, and I always felt adults were over-reacting when I was forced to see counselors in school. It's scary how such seemingly normal things can affect a child so deeply.

[@michaelbrandon5994]

Never really thought of daydreaming or its disassociative properties to be a problem but I tick all the boxes for Grandiosity, the Relationship fantasies (w/ others, my future, abandonment), and Numbness (escape/violence). Thought it just pointed towards Narcissism. It's worrying when I think about it, I always discounted it as being "creative" or, as cringy as it is, living in the 5th dimension. Having one foot in reality and the other in my imagination. Really makes it hard to think about what I'm doing e.g., understanding my studies. Like many others in the comments I've created this whole universe that I write / think about and come up with all these stories / events for. Music is certainly a trigger.

[@anonymouse7773]

omg music is a HUGE trigger for me, I'm so happy to find all these relatable comments, actually helps me stay in the present and not drift off to one of my many daydreams ;)

[@michaelbrandon5994]

@@anonymouse7773 I've always found myself drawn in by the atmosphere good / targeted soundtracks emit. Probably why I like medieval-inspired music and thrilling-heart-pumping-adreneline-filled music, it fuels the medieval knight / hero daydreaming / fantasising.

[@thepovertysoldier9220]

I've been doing this since I was 12, up until I became independent at 19 it was very maladaptive as it greatly hindered my already chaotic family life, (trying to keep the condition secret from family while still relying on it almost every day). After I became independent I removed my self from my biggest emotional stressor, (shitty parents and my own propensity to lash out at younger siblings), with my freedom I was able to reorient the usage of the daydreaming and limit the scope to fantasy world building, such as making new isekai or epic fantasy stories with concepts I found interesting, or making my own fanfiction or addon to any ip I am into at the time. I utilize music/movement HEAVILY and at this point I am more likely to initiate the daydream after a wack of the stick, (sorry for that information but I think that is also an important factor). I only do daydream in my off time. I still have plenty of issues with this, mostly due to that grandiosity which to me shows itself to me as a form of a god complex, (basically if I work hard enough and take the perfect path I can conquer the universe). I still pretty regularly initiate daydreams based on that process and many of my daydreams are self insert power fantasies, (which is cringe). My goal as of now is to break down the grandiose complex issue and utilize the daydreaming for creative projects when I retire from the Navy. I believe this process is a product of other issues similarly to what Dr, K said, however these mental issues along with personal upbringing has allowed me to become a super hard worker, with the on demand ability to hyperfocus on the task, and most importantly the drive to perform at my absolute best. So far I've only gotten dubs career wise, I'll continue to work on dismantling the grandiose complex fantasy escapes and hopefully meditate myself to a realistic mental state. I'm very happy and not surprised to learn that I'm not unique in this.

[@lovesham7754]

I'm tired of being like this . My main issue is physicality . I imagine myself to be very fit and attractive . My main triggers are when I'm wearing headphones & listening to music or being in bed which I'm gonna stop unless I have to sleep . My goal now is to actually become attractive so that I don't dream about it anymore.

[@thunderborn3231]

so if they have decided this is a mental diagnosis, they do realize that ALL fiction writers would fit into their 'buckets' just by doing their job and thinking up a world in their daydreams; i dont think the condition is far-fetched, but i DO think they have left its definition too open to interpretation.

[@LilMinmax]

My take on this... The "buckets" have to do with non-function. This is about people who daydream so much it affects them doing other things in life. If a person *is* a fiction writer, then they are likely functional. They're also probably not trying to figure out what's "wrong" since they are functional. A diagnosis wouldn't even happen. Their daydreaming isn't maladaptive, it's integrated into their life and pursuit(s). Again, my take.

[@thunderborn3231]

@@LilMinmax good take

[@coolgamer3646]

I started writing fiction due to my maladaptive day dreams I hot inspired but sometimes it gets in the way cause am thinking of future events in the story

[@lalelulallo]

Daydreaming isn't a problem. The bad part is when it's maladaptive. Maladaptive means "not providing adequate or appropriate adjustment to the environment or situation." It's detrimental when you use daydreaming to feel better, and then feel horrible when you snap back into reality.

[@somebody_a_guy]

For the past few years now, I've been daydreaming more than ever before, and I knew it was problematic somehow. Sure, sometimes I'd get great ideas, but most of the time it just screwed up my work ethic and expectations, leading to procrastination. Thank you *so* much for covering this topic, I've been wondering about it for so long!

[@bigggrip784]

I’ve had issues with day dreaming for a long time, glad to hear that you’re talking about it!

[@MrMctastics]

Before I watch: I experience very vivid daydreaming that can distract me for hours. To the point that I’m worried some part of me thinks they're real, even though I can rationally understand that they’re not I get worried sometimes that I care more about about a version of me that doesn’t exist I’ve always been able to summon vivid emotions from myself pretty much on command by imagining a scenario where that will take place.(I don’t react emotionally as much to things happening in real life) Sometimes details of these daydreams become semi audible in a strange tourettesy sort of way that makes me feel like I’m talking to myself. (I’ll touch my tongue to my teeth in order to know for sure that I’m not). This is really inconvenient when I’m in public A Therapist said I have: Asperger's(I disagree on this one) Anxiety disorder Depression A lot of people in my life have come to the conclusion that I’m a genius or really smart, but really I’m just a normal person. I think this might point to me being more aloof than I realize because a lot of people look for aloof qualities when they think about what a smart person is After I watch: Dr.K says daydreaming is an emergent property of other mental disorders like depression. This actually made me remember I only started having these daydreams after I stopped taking my antidepressants(6 months ago). In all other aspects of my life I’m doing pretty well, so I’m not going to start taking them again I think. Dr. K says it's important what you’re daydreaming about. I daydream about being famous or socially important in some way and having a relationship. I’m pretty sure I don’t have OCD, but I do have an anxiety disorder I guess so It kind of fits one of the three models of MD described. Not very well though. 23:00 0_0 The daydreaming as a method of exploring your own emotions thing rings so true with me. I have actually become significantly more social since I started daydreaming. I actually used to never really talk to people, but now I might spend 2 hours or so a day having conversations with people. Someone even told me they thought I was “cool” at a party one time, completely unprompted. I even flirted with someone for the first time in my life a couple of months ago 35:30 I have actually started smoking weed and stopped taking an SSRI which isn’t great probably. My life has seemingly gotten so much better without the ssri though, so I don’t plan on taking it again. Fine Dr. K, I’ll stop smoking weed

[@deadinside8781]

On the bright side, you can talk to people for hours. For me, I can do small talk but when they try to start it, all of my energy drains away.

[@MrMctastics]

@@deadinside8781 I forgot to mention that I still don’t really like people. If anyone I knew died tomorrow, I don’t think I’d really care that much. Conversation is a skill that I like to develop for it's own sake. The weirder the person I talk to, the more unique the conversation, and the more I can change as a person. My energy drains away too, but getting energy isn’t what I’m looking for necessarily. Oftentimes I need to decompress after a long conversation just like after I study

[@yobonez]

The part where you're verifying if you aren't actually talking to yourself physically is so relatable to me

[@MrMctastics]

@@yobonez Skitzos unite 👊 JK

[@isko1032]

I recently started seeing Dr. K's videos and whenever a recommended video of his shows up it shocks me because I feel like it's directed at me personally. It's so surprising to me that the problems I live through (even the ones that I don't realise they're problems) are common place and general helpful advice is usually within peoples reach.

[@Reaper-ru6qi]

This is very groundbreaking for me. I thought I was very introspective and was more on top of what I was feeling but he articulated it and really pinpointed it. I struggle with attention, and have for a while. I use this MD as a way to make up for it. I thought it was some sort of psychosis. I have been daydreaming old friends who I don’t talk to anymore just being a part of my life. I’m well aware they aren’t actually with me, but I daydream about them being here and watching me because it feeds into my attention deficit. It goes on for about 80% of my day…I’m a bit tangled in the mind but in a way I hadn’t even considered. This is the push I needed toward psychotherapy. I wish I could thank this man in person. Now I have much more room to breathe and much more to consider.

[@k1a2n3e41]

I feel like i experience all 3 kinds of MA daydreaming you described, i thought it was just "my personality" in a non-medical syndrome i thought it was just "me" this video has meant so much to me and has really showed me a door in a room that i thought had none, thank you so much. I bought your Dr. K's guide I feel like once I'm more educated on what I'm feeling I'll be able to better explain myself and my experience to a therapist which has made me apprehensive about seeing one for years, because I struggle to know how to explain stuff or what's relevant to mention, but this video has helped show me that this is actually important and is holding me back. I feel like i'll better get the words to speak to a professional therapist in the future. Thank you again.

[@k1a2n3e41]

I've got ADHD and depression anxiety since i was in primary school and used to maladaptive day dreaming since at least year 2

[@greengame9713]

Blue pill - you continue to day dream and nothing changes Red pill - you stop, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes

[@santiagomontiellaverde74]

With daydreaming, i eventually got to a point where I would say "yeah, that's not gonna happen ever", and slowly i started to come up with a universe of its own, as if I was directing a cartoon, or a game, yet not ever i aknowledge my own reality as something in it I created a world with characters and themes, on my own free time that still took a tool on me mentally, i was so invested on it that I eventually learned how to draw, and write, making small pieces of said world, and then I found a way to cope with it, daydreaming I always felt it should be a tool, a tool made of creativity, and as such, I found digital roleplay, making up the characters and playing those scenarios that would swarm my head, altleast that way I connected to people, and started daydreaming less and less, as i touched a small part of reality, that let me come back to the world

[@jetjet6560]

It's as if Dr. K is just following me around, critiquing all the problems I have lollll 😭 I really appreciate this one, as I can definitely feel the negative impact on my mental health! 🙏🏾

[@shadeitplease7383]

Can't afford to go to actual therapy so I'm happy I discovered Dr. K's channel this week lol. It's great to hear this stuff from the perspective of a gamer personality and childhood. Sucked me right in. Lots of stuff I needed to hear and be reminded of. Thanks!

[@harrypoderskis]

Here’s a personal account. I took the Big 5 personality test and under trait neuroticism, which was medium, my subtrait avoidance was maxed out; trait conscientiousness exceptionally low and trait openness exceptionally high. So, I would pay attention to the subtrait avoidance - if anyone’s performing a thesis on this, it would be interesting to repeat the research that DrK referenced, but go more deeply into the Big 5 model. My hypothesis is that high avoidance may be a key personality component in the development of maladaptive daydreaming.

[@shadoll7856]

Traits can also have facets just to point things out for others.

[@afeather123]

Avoidance has been one of my biggest problems, and this talk resonates a lot with me. I was also diagnosed with ADHD as a kid (just confirming the comorbidity in the study). I remember I had a teacher in elementary school who would always tell me to "come back from lala land" when I was daydreaming in class. At times I do spend a reasonable amount of time daydreaming about things; either imagining succeeding, perhaps something very vain like imagining being interviewed on TV for something I didn't do, or fantasy daydreaming where I'm in a game or movie that I like, or stressful daydreaming where I play out arguments and confrontational situations in my head. I kicked myself for thinking these things, beating myself up for the more vain dreams because they felt narcissistic (and also weren't drawing on any real accomplishments, while perhaps preventing me from having the time / focus to accomplish things). I also felt bad about my confrontational daydreams because they are stressful and because they involved imagining negative responses / traits in people that maybe didn't even exist. I still catch myself in these cycles of daydream -> feel bad about daydreaming -> stress out / play out stressful scenarios -> daydream some more. But I've gotten better about being less judgmental about myself, understanding that it is a problem I have and I can do things to address it. I've started doing meditation which has helped my identify my emotions / thoughts more quickly. A few times I have tried doing a brief summary of what I've done every 2-3 hours in a journal which I find helps me with my self awareness; I try to be more aware of what I'm doing in anticipation of the next time I will write. I still feel like I have a ways to go, but I feel better in the sense that I have a clearer idea of what feeling healthier mentally looks like, and its kind of becoming more like correcting my posture, where I still fall into slumps, but once I'm aware of it, I know how to straighten up; whereas before I just felt totally lost.

[@harrypoderskis]

@@afeather123 I relate deeply to what you just said. One perspective I may offer is treating this kind of daydreaming as a superpower; or attempting to make use of it. My job requires constant pumping out of designs, media, ideas and brainstorm on the spot for marketing clients. Creative marketing roles are not factory jobs, it needs some sort of leverage, an inner mechanism to manifest creative output on command. Daydreaming can be the trigger impulse that allows you to access deep creative flow states instantly, and sustain it to maximise creativity/productivity. I’d say that the process to make use of it in this way requires a similar level of impulse control and discipline as any other skill - not more not less that the average Joe; but once you get your routine going, you can be a formidable creative professional. This assumes that you are already in a role which is creatively demanding. If you’re stuck in a position which is not suited to your personality, then you’ll have no use of this, because I think daydreaming in general is by definition a creative trait.

[@crystaleunoia3974]

It's escapism just like consumption of media or substances is. It gives you something else to think about and distracts you from a stressor. It certainly is an avoidance issue.

[@FOXARUS]

@@afeather123 research inferiority complex by Alfred Adler

[@improvementchannel6902]

Thanks for covering this topic Dr. K! I’ve been dealing with MD for over 10 years and hypotheses I came up with about MD were discussed in this video. I always thought my MD came from being lonely/ not having friends (emotional need) so I used it as a coping mech. I could see that it could be that plus trauma/ seperation anxiety for me. I don’t often comment but I would just like to thank you Dr. K for all the content as over the past year I’ve watched you daily and my life has almost done a complete 180 and I feel a lot more secure with myself now 😇

[@lolac8210]

Very nice that you talk about this. I used to daydream a lot when I was younger and didn't think much about it. (I'm 27 now) Turns out I have CPTSD, and now every time I start daydreaming I catch myself, and try to just be present and mindful of whatever unpleasant emotion or memory was triggered at that moment. I am truly amazed at how much I daydreamed and how mundane it seemed to me, compared to my daydreaming nowadays (after years of therapy, self discovery, coping techniques, the works) and the tome I spend actually LIVING in the moment. So grateful to have got to experience this.

[@valyrra]

Hello. I've always thought that it can be very bad for my mental health but I couldn't just stop because it was such a harmless (physically) way to escape from trauma and etc. I also did not know it was a thing and others suffer the same way. Like other people commenting this it was kind of embarassing to talk about with others and I did not know it could be treated. Thank you so much for clearing it out so accessibly. Now I have hope that my "real" life can be fulfilling and not empty :)

[@treehann]

I exhibited symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming in elementary school. It took a really good teacher to call me out on it, pull me out of it, and give me something interesting to do that was more interesting than my daydream. She used to joke that I was "on Zarcon" instead of in the classroom. I have no idea what I was actually daydreaming about but thank you Mrs.Pratt for being the coolest teacher.

[@BIGGELATO]

Daydream = unconscious, unaware. Visualization = conscious, aware. Daydreams; boredom and ADHD lets your mind derail into oblivion. Whereas visualizations are a self-indulging behavior, sometimes done during or after meditation, or after waking up, or going to bed. "Same" tool, different purpose.

[@ohnotagain851]

I am so happy to hear you talk about it. I dissociate and I do have anxiety and depression, PTSD, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. and maybe others? I have a real problem with control either way. And hopelessness. lack of help. But bottom line my friend, i use it. I choose to daydream, mainly when life is hard for me, when I don't want to be somewhere, doing something or be with someone, when my life is hard when reality pretty much sucks. It's not a condition that one can't control. It's a coping mechanism....one of the last destructive in my case, since addictions and...many others are worse. Also neglect. you forgot to mention neglect, from parents, friends, etc. and feeling like you can t be needy if that makes sense. Thank you, parents... This is innocent and a sign of a bored f mind because the world doesn t interest or stimulate of them. I personally use it, since it s my favorite thing to do, I am writing a book right now. I have great imagination lol, and I don t brag about much in this life but that is number 1. However, i know I got it because i had a horrible childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Also, i guess i have separation anxiety and anhedonia? idk which one is more prevalent. But real life has failed each time and my brain is always better. Also, i used to use music to do it for example when I was younger but then i started choosing to listen to the music, sway to the beat etc and stopped. because I am not bored or stressed when listening to a song...that I like. I feel like you're saying it's something uncontrollable like depression or anxiety that can be controlled, but daydreaming is like choosing to have chocolate, not like getting the cold. Like...that's the difference. Though! I tend to not feel like doing it if i am watching something or idk, if i am doing something else. maybe it's just me but for someone who daydreams for hours every day, who wants to use it as something practical. I don t go into it if i enjoy who i am with, what i am watching is engaging etc. Like....life is boring when you can do anything you want in your dream and you have little control in your life. And you really are to depressed to fight for it.I dissociate and I do have anxiety and some depressed ocd, I have a real problem with control. But bottom line my friend, i use it. I choose to daydream, mainly when life is hard for me when I don't want to be somewhere, doing something or be with someone, when my life is hard when reality pretty much sucks. It's not a condition that one can't control. It's a coping mechanism....one of the least destructive in my case since addictions and...many others are worse. This is innocent and a sign of a bored f mind because the world doesn't interest or stimulate of them. I personally use it, since it s my favorite thing to do, I am writing a book right now. I have great imagination lol, and I don t brag about much in this life but that is number 1. However, i know I got it because i had a horrible childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Also, i guess i have separation anxiety and anhedonia? idk which one is more prevalent. But real life has failed each time and my brain is always better. Though! I tend to not feel like doing it if i am watching something or idk, if i am doing something else. maybe it's just me but for someone who daydreams for hours every day, who wants to use it as something practical. I don t go into it if i enjoy who i am with, what i am watching is engaging etc. Like....life is boring when you can do anything you want in your dream and you have little control in your life. And you really are too depressed to fight for it. But this might be just me. Basically, the world failed and I failed it . So I am not even giving it my attention cause if this was a relationship, a real one, it'd be abusive and not worth it. (ps: since there seems to be no correlation so far from what I see with how else we daydream. it is reading, watching shows, playing games...anything that tells a story and pulls you out of your reality. The person chooses to have their own world mainly when the external fails to provide. Like if I can t find a good show for a long time, I start making it. But someone who is more represented in mainstream media or has a larger pool of interests might never stop escaping with the help of media, instead of their own mind. Also if they can get to a computer, tv, book, manga, etc. But I find it to sometimes, the same thing. Especially when done excessively. It's the person that can't bear to be in reality, and you go to a specialist and think you have depression for watching stuff 9 hours out of 10. but in reality, is escapism. And depression, avoiding it mainly....)

[@lilielf5652]

Your description of separation anxiety daydreams were scarily accurate for me, and so were the anhedonia daydreams. Learning about maladaptive daydreaming has been so eye-opening, because I've had these daydreams my whole life and only recently realized it's unusual and possibly a problem.

[@BurningQuestion]

Great video altho I already figured out most of it. I used to suffer from this crap for about 9 years non-stop. It kept me sane but it was also ruining my life. It was paired with insomnia, extreme anxiety and probably caused me a bunch of issues with my memory. I couldn't remember ANYTHING and I still struggle with memory issues now, almost 10 years later. My environment was discriminating at school and mentally abusive at home so I needed an escape. Once I moved out to live far away in healthier place, MD slowly but surely faded away and nowadays I am completely free from it. It stole so much of my precious life... For an atheist it's such an enormous loss because I only live once. I never received any professional help during those years. Getting it now.

[@jimbobsconscience5159]

Oh this has been so helpful for me. I have maladaptive daydreaming and I’ve been so frustrated with the lack of information around it. Thank you.

[@MrReset94]

I discovered MD a few years ago when it was veeeery young and already found myself in it, but brushed it off since it was not yet this recognized. Now I listen to this video and I see not only that it has been recognized more, but also getting a better more in depth explanation that only cements my old theories about myself. It seems indeed that I have MD.

[@ant9347]

Well... That's not good I'm daydreaming every day for hours It's easier than doing things because you can skip the hard part and still feel emotions (happiness, sadness, anger)

[@acatwithinternetaccess9433]

Thank you so so much for talking about this. I’ve had this for all my life and it’s absolutely destroyed me. Counseling just hasn’t been working for me. I hope I can get over this and move on with my life ❤️

[@theGhostSteward]

For most of my life I had maladaptive daydreaming. It was my only scape from extreme self hate from bpd, bipolar and ptsd. For a long time I triet to fullfil those fantiseis- even when they contratict each other- that were tempered by extreme delusions from my unstable moods. For a long time I didn't realize it was my self hate that was feeding the cicle. And even when I could grasp at it, could not bring myself to, at least, no hate myself as much. It's taking me 2 years on medications, therapy and a lot A LOT, of meditation and mindfuness to break the cicle and for the first time since I was a very small child, in my late 20's, I finally woke one day and realize in the middle of it I wasn't imagining myself as another person. I was simply, completely, present. I have to thsnk doctor K for all of that. If not by his videos I wouldn't had persevere throught quarantine and early treatment, and I wouldn't have keep throught the steps into my education as anurse and a job that gives me purpose and a reason to respect myself. Thank you❤️

[@trollingisasport]

I've suffered from adhd and maladaptive daydreaming my whole life. I used take whatever ever I found in my hand and then play out a game, movie, or technology in my head. It still happens as an adult. I noticed it happens when my mind gets really excited about something or in situations when I might be avoiding some action. It's eaten up a lot of time from my day.

[@EatinKidz]

I have never discovered something that fits like a glove so perfectly for how I've coped, lived and functioned my entire life. There is absolutely no question that this is me and it's such a surreal feeling.

[@PrettyGlonkyy]

I have watched around 50-60 of your videos by now. This is the one. This is the one i have been looking for for the past 8 years of my life. Thank you. I somehow manage to tick almost every checkbox in terms of both cause and effect.

[@da1su_am]

Man the way i relate so much as if you're explaining what i've been my whole life is scary yet making me realized how deep and how terrible this condition has changed my whole life.

[@inkdrop_]

Now i can't even daydream in peace?

[@EyesOpen9]

As long as it doesn't get in the way of your day to day life, don't worry about it.

[@dr.bandito60]

I have a bit of this daydreaming, but it’s gotten better. I also have and ADHD diagnosis and general dissociative tendencies. I think it started getting better for me when I started getting into eastern philosophies, especially Taoism. I needed to develop a belief that reality is always better than fantasy. I have also been meditating a lot-but I do have to watch out for it turning into dreams. Getting better at taking real life action has made the daydreaming naturally subside. Still, easier said than done, sometimes.

[@likesc00b59]

I can't believe he talked about maladaptive daydreaming! I never hear people talk about this and I have had a problem with this since I was a toddler--literally. Even my mother remembers me daydreaming way too often when I was very, very young and it just never went away. This will be so interesting to listen to

[@whitetanooki9384]

I always thought this dude wasn't legit capitalizing on interviewing big youtubers for views but the more I watched his videos out of curiosity the more I started to learn about myself and the things I struggled with.. I never knew I was having such a hard time, I just coped and came up with reasons I'm ok but now that I'm starting to look deeper into myself and the reasons I'm having issues I feel like for once in a very long time I'm finding answers. I can't stop myself from getting into a hypothetical day dream of something so much that it has become disruptive and makes it hard for me to focus since my brains always trying to retreat from my problems. I don't think this will cure my problem but now that I know what signs to look for and how I should combat them in feeling like I'm taking a little more control over the situation. Thanks Dr.K

[@waffelpokalypse7365]

I relate way too much to the grandiosity daydreams, with dashes of vulnerability daydreams. I hated going to school cuz I was socially ostracized and bullied for reasons I never quite understood as a kid, and no matter what I did, i was never really seen as likable. This was in the 90s - early 2000s, in the days before we really had any real widespread awareness of mental health like today. My only way of dealing with this at the time was excessive daydreaming and escapism, and my daydreams often focused on grandiosity of some sort (often in the form of a better looking and more well-adjusted alter-ego of myself performing some superhuman feat or otherwise doing something to gain popularity and respect). I’d also have lots of fantasies about physical and emotional closeness with people I’d never realistically be able to be with - celebrities, fictional characters, and the like (these fantasies would often directly follow a fantasy of grandiosity, as though the grandiosity attracted the affection of the figure I was attracted to; I hesitate to call these “romantic” fantasies cuz I’m aro-ace). This has really contributed to me having a hard time forming and maintaining real-world relationships.

[@grassgeese3916]

[ the entire art and writing communities are shaking at this knowledge ] lol great video, i love how you ensure that we understand the basics of psychiatry before diving into the complicated stuff. And you're really good at explaining papers, Dr K! thank u

[@user-uu3us9ys4q]

It's good to see a smart person analyzing problems, usually, doctors just come up with another one diagnosis to prescribe not working medications. Yes, daydreaming is an adaptation, sometimes it costs a lot but people still have some advantages from it. I had when I was a teenager because my parents remove me from my old school and I failed to adapt to the new one (also we had issues with money and my dad was alcoholic) and yes it helps to survive stuff until you actually can do something real with it. It also can be a trap, like any other dependency, gaming or porn or alcohol - because it is an easy way to go. And yes understanding what needs are staying behind it is important. I can also add that it is very useful to identify which emotion/thought/situation triggering it as the beginning and train to survive this thing, or deal with it other ways because it is just like a patch or pain killer - you feel something unpleasant, you apply this thing, you feel good. If you learn how to face unpleasant things and find out what is it and find the real way to get rid of it - it will be OK. And another one problem that comes with it - dreams usually get you much more, than reality, so to get satisfaction it is important to clean up your brain from overstimulation and deal with problems, or real stuff just won't satisfy you, no matter what happens.

[@Itzryan2064]

over covid I experienced a lot of Maladaptive daydream from separation anxiety and grandiosity and this video really helped. Thanks!

[@vcasxsnk]

man let me be delusional

[@tulipbubbly3748]

You can do the Gyan mudra/chin mudra. It helps a lot, you can search it up. Also have sunlight for some time and walk on grass for some minutes. Have a healthy diet.

[@vcasxsnk]

thanks@@tulipbubbly3748

[@Kenofnor]

As a Schizoid (SPD), daydreaming is kinda my thing. It actually brings me great joy and makes the days pass quicker.

[@SS-ne7ep]

may i ask if you fell under the fighting for your life daydreams category/ fighting etc.

[@anty.]

bro how have these videos gotten so specific to what i'm experiencing. i haven't watched the full video yet, but maladaptive daydreaming is definitely something that i've been struggling with because it allows me to procrastinate even without any physical distraction, it constantly makes me randomly stop focusing on schoolwork im actively trying to finish, it makes it way easier to spend hours in bed while being depressed, and it sometimes leads to me standing in the shower until my hands turn purple. daydreaming and rumination have been so sewn into me that its hard for me to envision a future me where im just not doing it

[@pratikdagu]

First video i watched today! Want to thank you for giving me clarity on what my day dreaming condition is. I fall in the grandious and anhedonic area. From today onwards will try to acknowledge and regulate my emotional state so that i can control my maladaptive day dreaming condition.

[@Camerz]

This mostly affects me at night time when i am about to sleep, and I basically daydream until I fall asleep. sometimes i tried meditation to calm it down or remove it, which can help but I naturally return to it, over and over again. it can happen throughout the day, but normally that lasts a short amount of time. It only affects me for a while when I'm about to sleep, so it affects my sleep

[@thrashersvault6796]

It's so good. I'm so grateful that I discovered this channel. I experience MD from very young age like 7 or 8, I'm 19 now. You doing a fantastic job. In my country there's no such thing as good and professional help with this kind of questions. Thanks a lot, and a Happy New Year!