What It's Like Being a Woman Who Trains Jiu Jitsu | Things They Don't Tell You When You Start BJJ

Hi friends! I'm being completely honest with you here and I am going over alllllll of the things I didn't realize I'd go through (lol) when I started jiu jitsu over 4 years ago. Let me know in the comments if you've experienced some of these things also!
Instagram - kimberlyannkinch
Jiu Jitsu Video - Instagram (bertrandnjean)
Music - epidemicsound.com

[@katehenderson7388]

Im the only girl at my gym and I adore all my male training partners. They push me, they let me work out my techniques and they are endlessly supportive.

[@kimberlykinch]

That’s amazing! I totally agree, I love rolling with so many of the guys at my gym.

[@emmarichardson774]

That’s awesome! I find the upper belts are really good at this in my gym. I’m still so new I roll with other 0-1 stripe folks and they don’t always know how not to be spazzy. Sounds like you’re at a really great gym :) (I am too! and still learning when to ask someone to tone it down)

[@KINDABADATUKULELENGL]

I just don’t want my boobs to touch them 😭

[@spudyaquilina3001]

My club too, love the lads they are great

[@teassister]

@@KINDABADATUKULELENGL IKR its so uncomfy at first but we’ll get used to it 😀

[@allynringelberg7720]

This video is a big inspiration. I started Ju Jitsu 9 months ago and I have found it very hard. Every time I go to class just me showing up is a huge accomplishment. I am 62yrs. old and pretty healthy, it is hard for me to remember all the moves. I do believe if I went a lot more I would get better, I wish I had started 30yrs ago. Quiting is always at the front of my mind but then I remember that I am doing the best I can.

[@kimberlykinch]

Doing your best is all you can do! Most people wouldn't even have started, but you did and that's an amazing achievement in itself - so remember that on the days you're struggling. :)

[@katem5843]

This is so inspiring. I signed up to start Sunday.. and I was scared I am a bit older than the others in the class. I’m in my 30s so your comment helped me to shrug this off.

[@pearlofyahuah8472]

Keep going!!!

[@drjimjam1112]

I’m 73 and have been training 8 mos. Love it!!

[@porterrusss]

this is ever inspiring. I just did my first ever class yesterday and i am still nervous abt how this might turn out for me.

[@goglostick]

My mom and I took a intro BJJ class today. Our hair was a mess, my toenail caught on the mat (youch!), my clothes were drenched in sweat, we got wayyyy in other people’s business, I hurt all over, and It. Was. Awesome.

[@kingdomkid7225]

You go girl. One day at a time. It’s a very rewarding sport. Keep empowering yourself through self defense, respect and friendship 🙌🏼

[@damentesch]

Trim up the nails

[@pingui089]

Omg this is literally so true!! Haha!!

[@patriciagm7480]

Yas!!!!! 😂

[@ariromo]

Your convo at 21:50 is EXACTLY my experience. I’m a white belt and a few months ago I was rolling with a blue belt easily 110lb heavier (he’s awesome though and very kind) but I was having such a hard time getting him off mount. the roll before him was also very hard but with a 4 stripe white I’ve never seen before.. anyways, after those two rolls I cried bc I felt in a real lie defensive situation who am I to think I have any control with someone physically large than me. It’s so nice to hear a a similar story especially from another women in a combat sport. Thanks for sharing 💕

[@rayrayzak]

Thank you so much, hearing this from another female doing Jiu jitsu made me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this and going through this.. I just started 3 months ago.. I live in Egypt, I'm 35, and I have MS... And Jiu jitsu is literally saving me mentally and physically. Hearing other females talk about their experience gives me strength to keep going. Thank you again. 🙏🏻❤️

[@kimberlykinch]

You are amazing. I'm so happy jiu jitsu has become a healthy outlet for you, just like it is for most of us. It definitely helps to see someone else going through or having gone through what you are, it's what I wished I had when I first started, so I'm happy this was helpful for you :)

[@vikingored7469]

Whtas MS?

[@miras4893]

ms- multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disorder:-)

[@ceciliai.ogwude2845]

Thank you for this. I'm 34 and I've been thinking about starting. Wishing you all the best with your jiu-jitsu practice. I know you'll do great....

[@malakghalb8280]

Heyyy I’m thinking of starting jiu jitsu and I also live in Egypt!! I’m still looking into it

[@mexicanachulax3]

Girrrl when you talked about feeling defeated. 😪 so real. So frustrating. But i keep going back?! Possible definition of insanity lol.

[@kimberlykinch]

Right?! Like what is wrong with us 😂😭

[@amandaaoconnorr]

Yes! When you were talking about having something to prove, i felt that. You put it into words perfectly because since it’s such a male dominant sport, sometimes men underestimate women so for a while it’s a constant battle of “ don’t underestimate me, i can do this.”

[@kimberlykinch]

It is indeed. Now I found that the roles reversed - guys (ones I've never rolled with/still have an ego/lower belts) tend to feel the need to prove something, which ends up being not a great roll lol.

[@edenarchive4150]

Like a toddler playfighting their dad.

[@NavyGunnersMateMan]

Even though us men do dominate the sport I always welcome and encourage women to join the club they join and stay for the long run. I wanna see more of you. I'm not one of those macho idiots thats like "oh you're a girl. stay out of a man's sport" like no.. I want more women to join to be 50 50 men and women

[@MrCmon113]

@@kimberlykinch I think those are the best rolls. Someone is actually trying for once. Happens rarely enough. Of course if they're twice as big as you, it's not very instructive.

[@isabellamccann7395]

I just try to use it to my advantage and be more strategic.

[@LadieBjj]

I am bruised up. My body hurts every single day from Jiu Jitsu and working out. It’s like you get to submit someone without going to jail for assault 😂

[@kimberlykinch]

Tell me about it 😭 I’ve got bruises all over right now lolol. Hahah pretty much!

[@teassister]

omf same.

[@jasonhosaka9764]

As a big, heavy guy it’s good hearing this perspective. But you should also know that us big guys are a little scared by you smaller, faster, skilled folks.

[@kimberlykinch]

Tiny but mighty!

[@NavyGunnersMateMan]

@@kimberlykinch I would say I do enjoy sparring and rolling with women but because I am a bigger guy I can't help but take it easy on women. I literally can't help it. But I also make sure they get a good workout in and learn stuff from the coach. So I would say I'm gentle but not too aggressive. I guess it shows I care about womens safety lol

[@kimberlykinch]

@@NavyGunnersMateMan Sounds like you're a pretty good training partner :)

[@PopMami]

@@NavyGunnersMateMan I can respect this! It's better than the guy who acts like it's a chore that they have to train with you or they keep pointing out, "You're not going to hurt me you're so small." We are all here to train and learn, not necessarily hurt one another though it's gonna happen of course. I wish you were in my dojo as opposed to this guy.

[@NavyGunnersMateMan]

@@PopMami But when it comes to you ladies I am much more careful than I am with other guys. I don't know. I just want to be careful and I can't help it. I do have good intentions

[@affordableelegance1196]

Thanks for this post. I train with my 2 teenage daughters 15 & 17. For the first year my 15 year old trained in the gym with all of these very large adult men. It's amazing what a positive effect it has had. One thing I remind both of my daughters is that when a new female considers joining and starts the free trial - be extra aware that they are now rolling with an unskilled Female newbie and not a 220lb man. So don't crush them to hard physically because it may crush them psychologically and the may not join especially if they feel intimidated by everyone including the only 2 other females. It takes time for them to get to the point where they feel like a man when training as you said. Hope Female students encourage other Female students to join and continue to train

[@timdeedee]

Such a relatable video. I've been praticing BJJ for a year, 127 lbs 5ft4, and I still find it extremely difficult to accept the ''survival'' and ''defense'' combat style I have to adopt all the time, and still dealing with feelings of inferiority as a female compared to stronger men. I was always comfortable around men, but you really have to learn to ignore your ego and have realistic expectations when learning BJJ! I learned to stop trying to proove my value in front of others. Fortunately, the guys there are so kind and understanding towards my situation, which makes me want to pursue this discipline!

[@ariromo]

Yeah this sport definitely forces you to check your ego. I feel you on that!

[@MrCmon113]

Now imagine how much worse it is for small guys. O_o

[@danid7367]

@@MrCmon113 Still stronger than most women sadly

[@tessaofhyrule]

This video has been really helpful! I’m a bigger girl at 200lbs and only 5’7 and it’s a mental battle everyday to remind myself that despite my weight I can do BJJ that I deserve to be there just as much as anyone else. That on top of being defeated it’s a huge mental challenge. Just happy that I’ve been going to class regularly at this point 😂

[@kimberlykinch]

Being there regularly is a huge accomplishment and you should absolutely be proud of that! :)

[@michaelgarganese340]

Keep it up!!

[@haleymartinez1654]

love this video! I started a little over a month ago and I've been going pretty much non stop. It's nice to hear a similar perspective. My only issue is rolling with men who want nothing to do with you, they basically just go limp and let you do whatever you want which is not helpful and feels a little embarrassing. Not sure if anyone else has experienced this. However, 90% of the dudes I roll with are awesome, the best ones wont go easy on you and also let you know what you can do or what you can improve on.

[@kimberlykinch]

Yay! So happy to hear you've started training and are loving it so far :) Ugh yes, I've rolled with guys like that. It's annoying and has made me feel like I wasn't worthy to be rolling with. BUT, those rolls are rare and like you said, most of the guys are awesome!

[@electricityofmind6300]

Thank you, I loved your soothing voice and the content is exactly what I was looking for!

[@statoncoleman6527]

I'm glad to see you learning. Your persistence and determination is impressive. As long as you keep going the way that you're going, you will continue to see improvement

[@ndebello13]

I think that this is one of the most interesting, honest, well-balanced women-men-differences analysis I have ever heard in my entire life.

[@jenniferarmitage8519]

This was so good to hear! I'm trying out a class on Thursday, but I am extremely nervous. Like seriously, I was just a huge ball of nerves the day I walked into the building just to enquire about what they have to offer. This helped somewhat, but I think the only way to get over it is to go through it. Thanks for the video!

[@kimberlykinch]

Yes you're right! Watching videos can be helpful, but the only true way to get over the nerves is to just hop in there :D Good luck!!

[@CleetusTheBun]

I’m so happy I found your channel, I’m taking my first class next week, it’s been a long term journey for wanting to take this journey but I’m so thankful for your insights you share! Thank you!! xx

[@kimberlykinch]

Ohhhh yay that's so awesome! Happy to hear you're taking the leap :D So happy that these videos have been helpful!!

[@fourizereviews5123]

Just completed my first BJJ class yesterday! I loved it! Both the male and female students that practiced with me were super friendly and patient. The coaches were also great! I'm a more petite, younger looking woman and was afraid I'd look silly so thank you for this video and your content! It definitely helped give me the courage to do it.

[@kimberlykinch]

That makes me SO happy !! Good luck with your training, I hope you continue to love it :)

[@apexparadigm1709]

I love how you were literally glowing after training. So happy and zen

[@Kirbyrockstar88]

hey! I've been practicing a little over 9 months and this really makes me feel more sane. Especially at some of the loss of femininity in terms of hair (mine is really short now) and yes the nails! I'm with you in that it can be so defeating sometimes, and so intimidating rolling with men. But it is getting better with each class!!! I'm going to continue to stick with it! thanks for your content!!!!

[@kimberlykinch]

That's so great! Keep sticking with it, it'll keep getting better and your confidence in these different situations will only improve :)

[@crisziav.3088]

THANKYOU! So so much for uploading this video. I’ve done juijitsu for almost 7 months now and I am still so anxious when I even think about asking a guy to roll. I often find myself crying inside (and later in my car) as I sit out of rolls because of this, despite having tons of energy. It is exactly what you said, the fear of guys not wanting to/not appreciating a roll with me since I’m small (5”2) and not at all intimidating. Majority of the ladies in my gym seem to have no problem asking guys to roll. So I kind of felt like something’s wrong with me haha. But you disclosing your experiences in this video and reading all the ladies’ stories in the comments are all very comforting. So again, thank you :)

[@kimberlykinch]

I'm SO happy that this video was helpful!! Just remember, you belong there as much as all of the guys :)

[@MrCmon113]

To be honest, I do avoid rolling with women and smaller men. There's only so many rolls I get in in a week and I'd prefer them to be with people my size or bigger. Of course that's selfish and bigger/better people would probably benefit from going against better people than me. But it's still fun rolling against anyone regardless of size.

[@ladydee4485]

I can’t thank you enough for this awesome video!! Made me feel heard as I go through this amazing but very tough jiujitsu journey. Oss!

[@kimberlykinch]

Amazing, that was the goal! :)

[@enilizsantiago2317]

Omg This is an amazing video I just got into jiu jitsu and i feel very related on everything. Thank you for spreading awareness on a platform where woman can feel they are not alone 😊

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you so much for watching! How’s training going so far for you??

[@carmensofia3502]

Thank you for sharing! I can relate to pretty much everything 😅 I love my male training partners, they’re all great but I definitely have experienced similar frustrations with myself. It’s a huge learning experience!

[@jamiechaney5136]

This was so good. Everything I can relate to. Love the honesty! I love how jujitsu helps us see the reality of mens strength. I think it's better to live in reality and learn to work around it.

[@kimberlykinch]

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! And I completely agree!

[@MayaNazareth]

Just found your videos doing research for my channel! You're so good Kim! Loved this video, totally resonated with me!

[@kimberlykinch]

Yay thanks for watching! Oh my gosh I didn't know you had a youtube channel, just subscribed!! :)

[@MayaNazareth]

@@kimberlykinch I just recently started! It’s great promotion for Alchemize, but I don’t know how to do it well yet! Teach me your ways!

[@emmarichardson774]

I feel like this found me at the exact right time :) thanks for your content. So glad to hear I’m not alone in just having to cry it out sometimes.

[@kimberlykinch]

There's definitely been plenty of tears lol. I'm glad this video as helpful for you :)

[@brhousel]

Thank you for this! I just recently started training and there’s not a lot of content for women in BJJ. I so appreciate you! More BJJ content please!

[@kimberlykinch]

I'm SO happy it helped! How are you liking jiu jitsu so far??

[@TokyoTraveller]

Great video! One thing cracked me up, though: 07:09 "Another thing I have dealt with is black eyes..." For a split second, to me, it sounded like she said "black guys" LOL It immediately reminded me of the Key and Peele skit about black ice.

[@katarinapavic7538]

Thank you for this video. I'm new at this incredibly smart and challenging discipline, also being 40 and never had previous experience with martial arts. After these first few classes i feel like I'm opening a completely new chapter in life and new levels of understanding myself, my body and my capabilities. Shout-out to all the women around the world!

[@kimberlykinch]

This is amazing! It sounds like you're entering into it with a great mindset. Good luck with your training :)

[@nahtalya]

Thank you so much! Watched all the way through. Very helpful!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks so much!!

[@evelyntale4694]

So happy your video popped up for me! I recently started BJJ and it’s definitely one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. Thank you so much talking about your experience!!

[@kimberlykinch]

I’m glad it did too ! And so happy you started training :) Although it’s definitelyyyy challenging for sure lol

[@GuerthysGrowlers]

Thank you, super needed this.

[@yewastrid]

Been training jiu-jitsu for around 6 years now. Saw this video and immediately subbed :) I'm a minor but I can totally relate to all the discrimination in this sport. Every time some annoying sexist comes by I make sure to teach them what's up! Thanks for this

[@wynnefromtexas]

This was super cool. I just signed up for a session, and watching this made me feel more certain about the decision. Thanks!

[@kimberlykinch]

Amazing!! When is your first session?!

[@wynnefromtexas]

@@kimberlykinch Wednesday the 20th. I picked a 6am session so I wouldn't consider backing out throughout the day 🤞🤞🤞

[@chebyhocutt9055]

Your skin looks flawless! Your hair looks great ! Enjoyed the conversation very compelling!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you so much you're so sweet! I'm glad you enjoyed, thank you for watching :)

[@CLGevers]

21:00 OMG, thank you for being so honest about this!! Now i feel better!

[@SmileLauren]

Wow this is such a well made vlog, I loved it. I spontaneously decided to look into this and your video is making me seriously consider trying it. 💕

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you so much!! It'll be one of the best decisions you'll ever make :D

[@basspowerish]

I bet you'll beat everyone up! 😝

[@goglostick]

I highly recommend it! I took an intro class today, and I’m continuing with this school. It’s so fun with the right coach!

[@Insertcatchienamehere]

@@goglostick i agree... we have a new coach this yr and altho my previous coach precovid was awesome and supportive as well... tgis new coach somehow makes class more fun.

[@alexnolt]

I started in March and I’m close to my 2nd stripe (white belt)...and I have to highly recommend it. My experience has been so positive and amazing!!! There are probably 5-6 girls at my school and like 100+ men. Since training I have viewed many situations differently, feel a lot better and safer! Go go go!

[@everyldispike692]

For crying out loud! I really should've seen this video before joining! Though, don't get me wrong, I'm loving it! I've been taking classes for a month now and my only frustration is that I hardly remember what to do! Did you or anybody else go through this? Ugh!

[@kimberlykinch]

Yes! I think you and every one else training will always go through that. It's true what they say, jiu jitsu is just an ongoing chess match - it's always complex and there's always new things to learn. BUT, it will get easier to remember techniques/subs/positions the longer you train!

[@analyticallycorrect]

Definitely have this issue myself. Everyone at my gym is really supportive and patient with me though, and it makes all the difference in the world. Don't be so tough on yourself! The more you do it, the more your body will remember - trust the process and have faith in yourself :) progress is a process!

[@EvanMcLaren]

Thanks for sharing. The longer I train the more my thoughts turn to how to teach, how to contribute to a good school and class environment, how to make people feel welcome training jiu jitsu. Especially lately, the importance of taking time to hear from women in BJJ has become more evident.

[@kimberlykinch]

That’s awesome - more people should have a mindset like yours 😁

[@derekwardonline5316]

Wow! Great video. I’m a male BJj Brown belt, and have trained for 20 years, balancing career, family, etc. but K have never considered looking up the female perspective on what it is like to train. I have female training partners, that I roll with, but now that K have daughters who are close to an age to start training, I wanted to hear what my girls might experience. This video was exactly what I was looking for, and so well done. My daughters are small right now, but I want them to have a love for Jiu Jitsu, but I won’t force it… but having a different perspective may help me to craft how I introduce it so that they can take what they want from it. Thanks again.

[@minhn6987]

Thank you so much for making this video!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank YOU for watching it !

[@alemanita2219]

Thank you so much for this video, I have been training with bjj for about a month now and still feel so defeated, yet I love every time I get to train! The guys in my class are very patient and friendly (only girl there), so I'm lucky on that front, but can still feel awkward every now and then, especially in certain positions. You hit the nail on the head with everything! 🤗🤘

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks so much for watching!! How's training going ?!

[@supitchayac.717]

I'm most of the time the only girl as well, but I'm gonna tell you a secret, I went it completely like a girl who knows nothing about it, and then I told them directly that I didn't know much and maybe they could teach me something, I left my ego outside and just went in to ask them to be heroes and helping me out for the class. And you know what, I learned a lot from them as they were really happy to show me technique and also allowed me to try with them. I didn't care about the part that they will get the most out of rolling with me but I care about the most I will get from them, so everyday I probably learned the most in that room 🤣 being a woman is useful if you know how to use it, you don't need, at all, the compare yourself with men as you are not a man 🤗

[@scottholland2558]

Wonderful video Kimberly. . . super happy to hear your boyfriend is supportive and patient with you! Also, when you can roll with him, the opportunity to improve and get comfortable being uncomfortable seems like a bonus. Good for you and how very inspiring to hear some of your journey!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you for such a kind comment! Glad you enjoyed the video :)

[@scottholland2558]

@@kimberlykinch Of course! It is inspiring to watch and I wish you a blessed day and week. 💯👍😄

[@09TODsoul]

I feel you girl! I work with little kids so i gave up on looks a long time ago haha, but the sweat was a surprise. I'm the only girl in my class but once it sunk in I've totally used it to my advantage. The master is always on my side but in the first session he could barely look at me, and made comments about guys moving their hips to "impress their girlfriends" and told me to do something "like a ballerina" which pissed me off but that set a fire in me and I was all "I'll show him". And since then the master really likes me and when we're rolling he's always telling me how to beat the other guy. The guys are all amazing, I haven't been tapped out many times but it does feel disheartening when it happens, because as you said if you put it in a real life situation you feel like you would loose a lot. However in real life the guy isn't trying to out skill you they're trying to hurt you so you can outsell them and get away. I'm slowly learning my strengths tho, I'm great with my legs, i have hyper flexible wrist and arm joints, I can hold guys in guard for ages which helps me get my breath back and I'm sure the more techniques I learn the better I'll be. I wish more women would get into this sport because I feel it does play to our strengths and is something we are more likely to use in life that could end up saving us from a bad situation

[@kimberlykinch]

So happy you're enjoying jiu jitsu and that all the guys in the room have been great :) And just remember, getting submitted in training is no big deal and that's where it SHOULD happen!

[@floridalife2800]

I made my 1st attempt to start BJJ last week for the 1st time ever. It was also the 1st time ever doing anything with martial arts. I have done gymnastics and ballet for over a decade but it was also a decade ago. I swear, walking into the unknown environment.. to meet complete strangers and next thing you do is in the floor with them… It’s an interesting feeling. Since last week, I have been researching GI, rashguards, strong anti microbial soaps haha. I think my biggest fear now is the injury due to inexperience and not knowing how to fully prevent it. I am sure the imposter syndrome will be there for a while, that’s for sure. I have just found your channel, and I am looking forward to watch all your videos and to the future ones as well. Thank you for being on this platform!

[@kimberlykinch]

Yaayyyy so awesome ! Welcome to the jiu jitsu world 😁 Those fears are normal, but just keep showing up and it all gets better.

[@redbikerdude]

I have found in BJJ as I have in swing dancing, as a lead, I would adjust the skill level of the dance to my partner. We were both there to enjoy the dance, not show off. The goal is that both of us have fun but my partner first. I may not get to do all the fancy tricks, but if my partner is beaming after the dance, then I would be satisfied. When I first began BJJ, I had mostly partners who did this, but as a noob white belt, I felt like I was fodder for their practice. I felt very defeated each time. After a while, I learned to ask them to teach me what to do to counter the situations I was in. I turned my partners into my teacher. They were all willing to teach me, including the ones were were merely a few months more experienced. I turned the rolls into my mini classes. Practicing what we learned that day but at the beginning, the partners put me into situations I had no idea about. So my knowledge grew a little more on each roll. The classes were less dreaded as I turned them into an actual learning environment, not a place to prove my metal. This was probably the first time I let go of my ego and actually enjoyed going to classes. With time, when I rolled with first timers, I would temper myself to their skill, as I would with my dance partners. I used to also worry that I wasn't giving a good dance for my partners who were much more skilled than me, but most were happy to be sharing a dance and enjoying the music. If I was enjoying myself, she was enjoying herself and there didn't need to have any fancy moves. A well executed beginner move was more satisfying than a poorly executed fancy move, for both parties. This applied the same in my rolls. My rolling partners would temper themselves too as I would preface our rolls with "I'm just a noob, please go easy". Most would and few would use me as fodder. That's ok, as I learn from the roll asking what I could improve. But if I never asked, they would never say. When I rolled with the only woman in the class, who was a much more senior white belt, I'd lose every time, but her lessons are more technical which I liked. The awesomeness of BJJ outweighs some of the egos, but they're equally, partners as well as you learn a different lesson, and presents you with challenges for you don't get to test your metal, both physical and especially mental, until you have a challenge. The best thing is that you get to practice it in a controlled environment for dealing with it for real, in life outside. I hope this adds to what Kimberly said and helps anyone else feeling stuck. As for being submitted every time, you need to participate to gain experience, make all the mistakes to know what is a mistake, before you get to do the submitting. This is learning. It's a process.

[@laurencryer6624]

you have a really nice voice~ thanks for sharing!

[@kimberlykinch]

Haha thank you !

[@ivetterosario7056]

Wow I love how vulnerable you were, almost had me in tears. Definitely helped. Thank you. ❤️

[@kimberlykinch]

So happy to hear that it helped :D

[@jastinwilliams8304]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. Once again, I feel this highlights that BJJ makes the world a better place for ALL! Osss!

[@kimberlykinch]

It definitely does make the world a better place :)

[@sindycarolinahernandezflor5921]

Thank you for you message It really change my perspective. xoxo

[@TheDumpsterDoll]

Thank you!! This video touched on a lot of things I’ve been feeling! I just started BJJ in April! I’m addicted now! I also train Muay Thai and MMA. There are only a few women that attend classes, Sadly mostly opposite of when I make it. So, I train mostly with the guys. Thankfully, so far everyone has been very kind and supportive. Helping me with techniques during the roll. My husband trains too. so, I usually roll with him to start off then have to find a new partner. I thankful have been paired up with smaller guys and the bigger ones don’t put all their weight on me. I’m a girly girl. I love my makeup and I have colorful hair! Fighting is the only time I don’t care what I look like haha 😂 I definitely look like freak Barbie by the time I finish. I appreciate your videos. It’s nice to hear another woman say the things I’ve been feeling. I hope to get more women training mma, BJJ and Muay Thai. We need more women training. Keep rolling 🤘🏼 I’m glad I came across your videos. I was looking for BJJ hair advice. I just cut 14 inches off because it was too long and in the way when fighting. Now, I miss my long braids.

[@kimberlykinch]

So happy to hear that you're loving jiu jitsu so far! It's definitely great to have female training partners, but some of the guys are some of my favorite people to roll with :) Thanks so much for watching!

[@lynz411]

I have been training for six years. My male training partners always treat me with respect and ask me for advice, and when I fill in for my professor teaching if he can’t be there, i am always treated with respect. I’m thankful for the big guys always keeping my jiu jitsu honest and helping me develop frames and a half guard.

[@kimberlykinch]

That's so great! It's so important to have great guys in the room, it makes the experience so much better. :)

[@Amarillo2012]

Great video---I'm so glad I'm found this! I'm about to take a trail class in a couple hours 😅You addressed my biggest concerns about going into this sport but after watching this I'm a ease knowing I'm not alone regarding those🙂. Btw I'm doing it for self-defense purposes and to build self-confidence. Thank you for making this video!

[@kimberlykinch]

Aw yay so happy it was helpful! Good luck with class, let me know how it goes ! :)

[@Amarillo2012]

@@kimberlykinch class was AWESOMMMEE!! 😄 I'll be starting regularly after next week! This was my first time but I felt "at home" in this gym--the instructors & students really welcomed me, I truly appreciated everyone's patience as I didn't know a thing. (EDITED TO ADD: we did warm ups/drills at start of class--then we circled to see the demo and then paired off to practice what we were shown, I was included right in as a white belt--they gave me a Gih to use as well). I struggled to remember positions/holds but I believe with practice it will become easier and feel more natural to me. I did have to get used to being in awkward positioning & people's atop of me but thats why I was there--to learn how to escape & defend if needed. I was nervous bc I didn't want to "hurt" anyone or get hurt myself but the fun truly outweighs the fear---I can't wait to get back on the mats! 😃 Thanks again, your video really helped!

[@tymazoch3101]

Even though I am a guy, I started BJJ a month ago and I love it, it teaches people a lot, all ages, all types of athletes. I'm 21 and I am happy I joined. BJJ is a marathon, and even if you don't want to compete, it's still great for many other reasons. Rolling is useful, fun, and burns a ton of calories. learning the techniques gives you a skill and helps people learn and to adapt for things like real world self defense or IBJJF competition, or even MMA. BJJ can also help you meet new people. Awesome Video, I will be subscribing! Also do you have a favorite move or "go to"? I enjoy the crucifix or the Americano when it comes to submissions haha.

[@UrSushiSenpai]

This was an excellent video from a unique perspective. You are going to be Big soon.

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you!!

[@yarelybanuelos1004]

Love your hair! Please do a hair routine and products video!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you ! :)

[@Carlos-xz3vi]

My wife and I are still debating if we are going to join a BJJ gym. This video is honest and straight to the point. It’s very informative, not only for my wife but for me as well. I love it. Thanks for not sugarcoating it!

[@kimberlykinch]

I hope you guys join !!!

[@bt8208]

Rolling with females is insightful. High level flowing - keeping technique in check, too

[@ps3ud0nym]

Haha, as one of the lightest guys in our gym I can totally relate on the strength aspect. 😅

[@kimberlykinch]

hahaah I'm sure!

[@ponyride23]

This was really helpful Kimberly, thanks for making this. My sister in law wants to join my bjj gym and this video was really helpful to kind of help shape any advice that I could've given her.

[@kimberlykinch]

So happy it as helpful :) Hope she gives it a try soon!

[@kaymarie2276]

Great Video! Thanks for posting. I hope to run into someday!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks so much for watching ! Where do you train ??

[@elijahstark3663]

Judoka here, salute. I’ve ripped a nail, realized to bring a water bottle, and the lady sparring partners are always scrappy like alley cats I love it. I sweat so much in judo.

[@leggyblonde11]

You're so relatable to me 😆 Great points!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you! Just gotta keep it real here :D

[@JuanArellanoDartman]

Your video just showed up on my feed. It's important to listen everyone's journey in BJJ. Looking forward to listening to more of your vids.

[@kimberlykinch]

Awesome, glad you like the video! Yes for sure, every one's journey is do different.

[@suziescher9417]

Been doing Jiu Jitsu for 2 months!! I totally relate this as a female!! Also ALL the bruises!!

[@kimberlykinch]

ALLLL the bruises! Lol. So glad you got into jiu jitsu :)!

[@JuliettLA]

Hey Kimberly, thanks for sharing these insights. I'm starting BJJ training soon and it's good to know that it's not going to be easy mentally. I feel prepared haha.

[@kimberlykinch]

Yay love to hear it! When are you taking your first class??

[@michaelurbanek4421]

Good stuff we all def felt some of these things.

[@blancaorozco7537]

Thanks for your openness, I alway knew men are stronger then us, It´s something that I admire of them, so woman who deny it are living in fantasy land. Love you video!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thank you! Hahah I completely agree, fantasy land for sure.

[@jasonstrickland5251]

i am pretty new to BJJ, and, i have never rolled with a female partner, but i am sure it will happen at some point in time.. your vid was very insightful, and appreciated! certainly gives me a better understanding of what the women in our school may be going through in their journey. and for the record, getting your head smashed in "certain" places is probably the hardest thing to get used too!! LMAO!!

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks for watching! Don't be afraid to ask the women to roll in class, unless they're experienced, they probably won't ask you first! :)

[@mikadonner8123]

I’m going to start soon! I’m in middle school and I want to start early! I’m so excited😊

[@kimberlykinch]

Yessss, the earlier the better! I hope you love it :)

[@arkhamsangelx1424]

Thanks for your honesty this was great

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks for watching! So happy you enjoyed it :)

[@shahadalmakki3963]

thank you so much for sharing i am starting soon and i had so manuy questions it feels good to know that i am not alone thanks alot

[@kimberlykinch]

Yay awesome!! Did you start yet ?!

[@stationbobofficial]

Such a great video and you are clearly growing so much as you say - really inspirational, thank you. I wonder: have you ever asked guys that you have trained with how they feel about the potential challenges of rolling with (unknown) female partners? I have never had the opportunity to practice jiu jitsu (although I have many years of martial arts and contact sports experience) and I can imagine that, whilst it may not perhaps be *as* stressful for a man to face the challenges of rolling with an unknown woman, there must surely be some significant issues that men would commonly experience and have concerns about - compared to rolling with another man?

[@MrCmon113]

Personally I'm concerned about crushing them with my bulk. Pretty much the same as smaller guys. We don't have any really large dudes at our gym, so I don't really know what it's like underneath someone so much bigger.

[@DamonDSB303]

My firts time seeing your vlogs; I felt compelled to compliment your video. As a BJJ practitioner I think this is great real info for women (and men)... Its a tough thing to break into and you kept it quite real. I'm going to have my wife, sister and daughter check this out as a good prep before their first classes. Thanks coach (I personally consider purple belts and above coaches). Oos.

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks so much for watching and for the kind words! I hope your wife, sister and daughter enjoy their first time training :D

[@SetYourOwnSail]

So so helpful! Thank you!!

[@kimberlykinch]

You're very welcome :)

[@elmarealtor]

Thanks for the infos. I just started a week ago and the only thing I immediately thought about was omg these acrylic nails has to go and so as my diamond earrings that I kept in it on 24/7. Since then I felt like no reason for me to put them back on since I’ll be taking them off anyway. That feelings of being kind of sassy with my nails & jewelries kind of gone.

[@kimberlykinch]

Haha yes unfortunately nails don't stay too nice in jiu jitsu :( :(

[@kupaksulja]

Needed this. Thanks x

[@kimberlykinch]

:)

[@wmhs02dm]

I took my nails off and went to my first bjj Saturday and I loved it. Thanks for talking about this so I know what to expect

[@kimberlykinch]

Yay awesome!!!

[@littledrawingfan]

GIrl, thank you, today is my first day, and this really helped me get into a more prepared mindset beforehand. Thank you!

[@kimberlykinch]

How did it go?! :)

[@littledrawingfan]

@@kimberlykinch I'm there to stay! I loved it!!

[@aboz8649]

Going to my first class today! Exited, nervous, woo!

[@kimberlykinch]

Yay! How did it go??

[@aboz8649]

@@kimberlykinch the class itself went really well! But the day after I had pretty terrible back pain so I decided maybe I'd come back to jiu jitsu at another time :,,,)

[@ManufacturedCrises]

@@aboz8649 I’m about to head into my first class too and I can already feel my hips hurting🙄😂

[@Mourrau]

Thank you so much for this video. It is good to know that I am not alone. I am fairly new at training jiujitsu (6 months) and I am still struggling with several of these things. I find it gross to roll with guys who don't wear rashguards. I have felt so anxious when rolling and getting stuck in mount or other positions, and many times I have cried after training. It just sucks to be stuck under someone stronger or bigger than you and it's a challenge to learn to deal with the feeling of powerlessness. Sometimes I think will I ever learn enough technique to become better with bigger people but it is all a part of the process... Telling about the anxiety to my teacher helped and since then I've become braver and more resilient.

[@kimberlykinch]

I hear you on all of this! I used to wonder the same thing, so you will 100% eventually learn enough technique to help you with bigger people. And that's great that you expressed your feelings to your coach, that's what they're there for :)

[@eyadhamza3147]

As a guy who just started training bjj a couple months ago, I kinda relate to this. I'm one of those really sweaty people, probably the sweatiest guy in the gym and I feel bad about it sometimes. But its also because I'm one of the smallest guys in my gym (5'10",150 lbs) and I get much more of a workout from each session rolling with guys most of whom are 200+ lbs. I also feel very defeated after each class and the only time I can submit people is basically when they let me 😅. I'm trying to focus more on technique and staying healthy because as I'm sure everyone who first starts out you kinda go through this phase where you're fighting for your life when rolling and use up all your energy and strength to overcome certain positions... which usually just ends up putting you in worse positions anyway lol.

[@kimberlykinch]

It will get better with time! There will still be times of feeling defeated and discouraged, but it gets MUCH better once some of the techniques start sticking. :)

[@MrCmon113]

Getting sweaty is good. Firstly you are harder to hold. Secondly it becomes easier to submit via smothering. I. e. you do waterboarding with your own sweat.

[@no-bitches]

I wanna try so bad. I've been so pissed lately. Men make such stupid comments sometimes and I wanna beat em up!! Kidding, but you really explained these things really well and with care. You kinda remind me of me. I wanna try.

[@kimberlykinch]

Give it a try!!! :D

[@wildside.nikki.]

Omg thank you! First class next week, so nervous

[@kimberlykinch]

You're going to do great!! That's so awesome that you're giving it a shot - let me know how it goes! :)

[@wildside.nikki.]

@@kimberlykinch It was soooo fun! It's been two days and my whole body hurts, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I feel like I was in a moshpit, I'm going back next week! 😁 😁😁

[@lizardman1303]

I did have one girl in our class who did not feel comfortable training with every male because she was scared of getting hurt I think she had a bad experience and scared that if she pulled a good move that the male will keep ramping up the intensity . Just like u say males just go light and have to use more skill then muscel out of stuff. Pro tip don’t roll with brand new people because they are the ones that will hurt the most people . And for the bigger/ advance u couldn’t escape from men have to deal with that too

[@towelietowel4513]

I think you would be surprised how relatable this is to guys. One thing I want to point out from a males perspective when rolling with girls, we take personal space and sexual assault very seriously. Obviously there might be slip ups where hair is pulled, chests are touched, groin to ass (Sounds weird but inverted guard to back take transitions can make this possible)… ANYWAYS, if you feel uncomfortable talk to your sparring partner, other girls, or your instructors. I’d say 99% of gyms will take you seriously and try to make the situation better. For example, I was training at a foreign gym because I was traveling and some 18 yo guy made a masturbation joke before grappling me. I told an instructor that I saw a girl make a facial expression and feel uncomfortable so I told him and the instructor talked to him after class and from what I heard it hasn’t happened again.

[@MrCmon113]

If you're very worried about touching boobs or butt, then probably rolling around on the ground trying to strangle each other is not the best sports for you. I'm sure I touch ppls boobs and butts all the time in rolling, but I couldn't tell you when bcs I'm focused on getting into a better position.

[@bazokie]

Thanks for this!

[@sparrowwatch6843]

Omg so happy I found your video! I need some advice. My boyfriend does muay thai and his gym also does BJJ and I've been very curious to join BJJ. I even sat in and watched a class. However, I am hesitant because I am such a girly girl. I am THAT girl with a sun dress and a hat just looking like she picked some flowers. I run every day, and I'm a very good dancer so I feel confident most days and with people. However, I have never felt so intimidated like when I walk into the BJJ gym :( I would like to join for self defense purposes and to overall try something new. Everything you just described makes me cringe but my boo tells me he was also very afraid when he joined muay thai. He didnt feel i shape or athletic and now he feels so confident and able. What do you suggest?

[@kimberlykinch]

Oh man! Well, as you've seen from my video, jiu jitsu is GROSS. Hahaha. But! You can still do both - be a girly girl and be tough and not super girly in jiu jitsu. Outside of jiu jitsu, I'm a makeup artist for weddings, so I LOVE all the girly things! I'll be honest, jiu jitsu definitely can take a toll on feeling feminine in your appearance sometimes, but the positive things you get from jiu jitsu always seems to outweigh it all. :)

[@ScaramouchedaVinci]

When I was 18 years old I knew a girl who had a black belt in judo. She laid almost of us boys on our backs and was coveted like no other girl. Sure, there were a few guys who were offended in their macho world, but she weren't interested in them. But also they respect her. She was a feminine sporty woman, confident and charming. A wonderful combination and a heroine in my memory. :-) And I think jiu jitsu is especially for women fantastic. Because with very good technik you can defeat stronger people. That strengthens the self-confidence a lot. And everyone should be able to use the fall technique. I would make this compulsory in sport lessons in elementary school. Is like swimming. You don't believe how many people fall and get injured in her life.

[@lizbec1085]

Just got back from my first class! One of only 2 women and more than a dozen dudes, but it was awesome, nonetheless! Just new and invigorating and challenging and amazing! I'm going back asap!

[@jazminbetancourt8611]

I really resonate with the fact that men are and will always be heavier! Learning to rely on technique and letting men muscle me over and still try to get position!

[@sandman771]

Great Video

[@peschktennessee4241]

I just started jiu jitsu a week ago and I’m usually the only girl and almost always have to roll with guys because they’re coloured belts and the coaches want me to get the techniques right and this has just explained EVERYTHING I’ve been feeling I love bjj so much already but I’ve not had anyone to voice these feelings with I’ve felt like I was the only person who felt this way

[@kimberlykinch]

You're definitely not! Everything you're feeling is totally normal :) Happy to hear that you're loving jiu jitsu so far!

[@Insertcatchienamehere]

Hi Kimberly!! Thanks for the video this is my first year training bjj. Ive done mma for about 2 yrs before covid so i did bjj here and there but this is my first yr of consistent bjj training. I totally relate to everything u said ... omg the hair thing!!! Hence my YTube user name 🤣 I also train at UFC by the way :)

[@kimberlykinch]

That's awesome!! The hair struggle is so real lol. Ah yeah I trained there for 4 years, then switched schools almost a year ago :)

[@killfacebalor2474]

I’m sure there are some guys who worry about not getting the most out of their roll with someone smaller, but the fact is that the kinds of things you learn rolling with women as well as the kinds of things you learn rolling with smaller opponents who are not as fast or strong are still important, and there are things you have a lot less opportunity to learn. Because jujitsu is so male-dominated, there aren’t a lot of opportunities to roll with women, and the new body type as well as the different pace and style of rolling is normally a really excellent chance to work on and improve areas you don’t have to focus on very often. No matter how we guys often feel wrestling with women, the truth of the matter is that having the chance to roll with a woman who is every bit as serious about jujitsu as we are is of enormous training benefit, and we will likely learn more from that roll then we would have learned by rolling with The guys we might’ve been more comfortable with or felt more macho about sparring against.

[@kimberlykinch]

Thanks for this! Great perspective :)

[@jasonimboden7751]

Thank you for this video. I am the father of a little girl. She is smart, beautiful and kind. The world, however, can very often be none of those things. So she will learn jiu jitsu...

[@kimberlykinch]

You’re right indeed. Love that, good job dad 👍🏻👍🏻

[@jasonimboden7751]

My daughter won her first gold medal in a jiu jitsu tournament! @@kimberlykinch

[@tenormdness]

Not gonna lie, thought you said black guys (it was black eyes). It took me a second. I was wondering what kind of channel I came across! Thank god I figured it out after a few secs. Great episode. Always wondered what it was like from a woman’s perspective.

[@kimberlykinch]

LOL. Thanks for watching :D