What Makes a Person Attractive?

We are collectively obsessed with the idea that an attractive person is, first and foremost, someone who looks terrific. But that's to ignore the widespread phenomenon of the objectively good looking individual who nevertheless fails to hold much appeal - and vice versa. Here is a guide to the psychology of that too seldom earnestly-studied issue: hotness.
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“Understandably enough, our societies pay vast attention to the idea of ‘sexiness’; far more questionably, they tempt us to believe that it might be easy to understand what this quality consists of. The leading suggestion takes its starting point from the biological sciences: we learn that sex aims at successful reproduction and genetic fitness in the coming generation. Therefore ‘sexiness’ must logically comprise a host of semi-conscious signals of fertility and of resistance to disease: bilateral facial symmetry, large bright pupils, full lips, youthful skin and melanin-rich hair…”
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[@theschooloflifetv]

What do you think makes someone "attractive"? Let us know in the comments below and make sure you do not miss any of our future films by subscribing to our channel and turning on notifications.

[@zulthyr1852]

Being around my age, not being Jabba the Hutt, not being a tiger, being female, having long hair, and y'know, being able to communicate with males.

[@jkhaski5195]

Kindness,love,empathy

[@kirmcook]

Confident, humorous, and similar interests. Is kind and has empathy

[@Eza_yuta]

Someone who handsome and light color skin.

[@sayma25n.46]

Empathy and selflessness

[@calebsmith7913]

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

[@mimimercado762]

Murphy's law

[@StephJ0seph]

Lol 😂

[@lesteradams2282]

Impressive analogy

[@rickyrivaldo6567]

oh my god

[@RobertoDiego737]

Incredible!

[@harshdeusecar]

Be someone that makes people fall in love with who they become in your presence, that is true attraction

[@lilsebastian2625]

I like this advice!

[@Julia-LArt]

Harshvardhan Deusecar love this 😊

[@Spiral.Dynamics]

This works most of the time. Then you get with someone who depends on you to make them love themselves. True love is loving your whole self first and then loving everyone else.

[@punoko6062]

dude... youre wrong lol

[@mokujin29]

No that is made up romantic notion, reality is nothing like that

[@StephJ0seph]

2:05 "Despite the raw facts of their appearance." That's the nicest way I've ever heard of being called ugly

[@Fatima-we1wm]

It’s funny cause in that sentence he was referring to them as being beautiful/sexy. What he meant to say is despite of their “good looks”. It’s so amusing how one same sentence can convey two opposing meanings 🤭

[@pogolas]

"disproportionate" maybe?

[@Aris-Darling]

😂

[@MrFlame709]

People don’t realize how important emotional intelligence and empathy can be when talking to another human. I think we assume that everyone is very one dimensional, unlike ourselves who are very complex and have various needs. People are not as shallow as we think. Btw, thanks for the great content as always! You were a big inspiration for starting my own channel.

[@swordsnorchids1997]

Of course, you can't make assumptions if you don't really get to know someone which is not seen on the outside surface. It's all about being brave, exploring and openness or open mindedness, vulnerability and trusting. One size doesn't fit all which is true for both men and women. There's much more to a person that makes them unique. I tend to look at a lot of good in people but while keeping it real of course cause nobody's perfect but that doesn't mean they can't be amazing once you sense a connection and get to know someone better. Who knows you might even find you have more things in common than you would've thought. But making false assumptions and judgments right at the start or in any way never helps anybody. There are many different women out there as well so I don't get this whole it's all just the same idea even if you've had some similar experiences doesn't mean it can't be different. Although there's a lot involved with a relationship and a good relationship is not as easy or common as some might think. Sometimes it's better to reach a better place yourself first and then attract someone and be happy with instead of just depending on somebody as a need to try and fix an unfulfilled feeling.

[@MsLoila]

this is so true. Relationships require much empathy.

[@bertosis]

@Los Fromla Because, sadly, most "ugly people" are very uncomfortable with themselves and it shows. It's that, I think, what puts other people off and not merely their physical appearance.

[@tranquilrabies]

@Los Fromla This is true overall - everyone is attracted to pretty people. Males, as you say, are not exactly beating down ugly women's doors, either.

[@bertosis]

Los Fromla I don’t know man, there are plenty of average and ugly looking dudes with girlfriends out there. Which studies are you referring to? Do you have a link?

[@katrinapetrova8132]

Honestly this guy could make an hour long video talking about toilet rolls and I would watch it fully, his voice is so calming 😂

[@literalbang4462]

You seem to have too much time at your hand.

[@katrinapetrova8132]

Literal Bang I really do 😂

[@all_consuming_images]

“What people don’t underSTAND about toilet rolls are the fact that... while yes we may use them to wipe our filthy assholes, cleaning them of shit and bile, they can ALSO be used as tissues; and even, for the mischievous type, as a pretend telescope. Although it is mostly children who do this, someone with an intense connection to their childhood glee and playfulness can be seen as a desirable companion...”

[@traytracey7144]

katie robertson ngl I don’t understand this video

[@radhikasingh4011]

Hahaa...Yea me too. 😄 His voice is extremely smooth and sweet like honey. I could listen him talking all day. 😊😆

[@saurabhsomani582]

This guy knows all the synonyms in the dictionary for any word.

[@MartyD]

FACT: Objectively attractive people have an advantage in this society.

[@yingli9094]

Yes and no. The objectively attractive people will most likely to be treated more nicely, but that’s it, they are being treated nicely just because of their appearances. Their accomplishments might be diminished because of their appearances.

[@sal2975]

Yeah but, so what?

[@sofiesofie1952]

This truth makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

[@jaydoe4279]

Marty D there are no objectively attractive people. Everyone is unattractive to someone. Each person has different tastes

[@jaydoe4279]

Ying Li there are no objectively attractive people. Attractiveness is subjective.

[@osse1n]

Men and women perceive attraction differently. The outer may attract people but the inner is what will keep them around.

[@TheManOnTheStreetOMG]

@The Most Hated Idiot On The Internet 'it' is confidence and self esteem

[@osse1n]

@The Most Hated Idiot On The Internet Good question. It depends on the gender gender of people you are talking about. Because men and women see things differently. So what were their genders?

[@osse1n]

@The Most Hated Idiot On The Internet Something is missing in this story. Beautiful women won't go for a guy who has nothing going on for him, especially if his looks and self-esteem are subpar. Financial situation?

[@truth-12345.]

@@TheManOnTheStreetOMG no it's not about being confident or self-steem, it's about accepting your flaws and being true to yourself.

[@TheGamingg33k]

Exactly. Looks not only your partners but yourself as well has an expiry date. What will keep couples together aint the looks but what you are.

[@Inerize]

Even though hotness is an important aspect of relationships, it's definitely not everything. Intelligence, charisma, emotional maturity, communication skills and healthy values are key for a successful and long term relationship.

[@crookedroots4000]

Communication is the #1 key

[@realdemigod4339]

@@gart1456 Wanted to say the same, about to puke.

[@MihaiPocol99]

but how do you get to prove and show that you have these qualities if you are rejected because of the appearance or not just, but of the insecurities or anxiety you face? People have no longer patience. We are living on fast forward.

[@realdemigod4339]

@@MihaiPocol99 You can't help it no matter how good looking or ugly you are there will be others who think you are attractive or plain ugly. You can't make others perceive you as attractive except with wealth when it comes to guys and for girls by becoming more fertile. Imagine Facebook CEO with no money, no girl even would look at him except girls who think they can't get a better guy. Women who think they are not good looking if manage to bag a good looking guy, they will do everything possible to keep him around. Attractiveness is solely nature's dominion. There is evidence all around but people just act like idiots saying shallow things like communication, intelligence, emotional maturity blah blah make someone attractive. I say bollocks.

[@MihaiPocol99]

@@realdemigod4339 So in a nutshell, what do you say is that these qualities are irrelevant compared to biological attraction?

[@khanghuynh8582]

If I had a dollar for every woman who found me unattractive, I would eventually become attractive.

[@mmmarkel]

lol

[@illusionfaderr5394]

Damn.

[@whooyouu18]

Same. I could retire early lol

[@tkh1001]

Hahahah

[@SajalPradhan]

Man oh man

[@raquelreya8943]

“You’re not ugly, society is”. Used to be my favorite quote when I was depressed

[@raquelreya8943]

Josip I think so. But lately my insecurities seem to be getting worse... so maybe not

[@franceslakatoo9281]

Based on your profile pic you're beautiful!

[@justinfernandez9876]

You're good looking what u insecure about

[@victoriaporsiempre]

Raquel Reya quit fucking social media

[@Adelaideanegg]

It might make you feel better that you aren't the problem, but everyone else is, but it is probably not the truth. Also, you are apart of society.

[@jubjub2331]

The majority of us clicked because we’re self-conscious. Well, one step to becoming bomb-shell sexy is to be confident. So, put a smile on your rad face and have a rockin’ day.

[@paulavildosola]

This comment made smile :) How simple I am!

[@Onxide]

😸 likewise stranger

[@MrDanee22]

Very true too❤️👍

[@theworthysoul]

Eva Reese *cries in male shyness*

[@JetBlackThreat]

And the rest are confident but the best always look to improve themselves in every way possible

[@mimipaul7002]

Emotional maturity, intelligence, kindness, compassion, good conversationalist and good soul is what matters the most regardless of the gender, I wish more people would start paying more attention to their emotional growth and building good moral character than spending hours in gym and showing off their physical or monetarily assets.

[@mimipaul7002]

@@HeyitsBri_ hi! I didn't say the things in my original comment to get likes, this is what I genuinely believe, practice and want. I am forever single and struggling to find someone with emotional maturity and not full of vanity, I don't want a man with good biceps, I want a man who is greatful for what he has, works hard for what he wants and helpful to people in need.

[@kilian5239]

Why not both? I'd say it's healthy to care for your body, just as it's healthy to work on your mind and soul. Mens sana in corpore sano! (Not to say that disabled people can't have a healthy mind and soul! Care for YOUR body.)

[@mimipaul7002]

@@kilian5239 hi I agree with you it would be great to have both. But let's face that is asking too much from one person also let's face it chances are too many people are looking for that hence less chance of us ever finding someone who has got it all.

[@kilian5239]

@@mimipaul7002 true! No one got it ALL. (No one!) Expecting perfection is highly unrealistic, even from yourself. But I think it's possible to reach and maintain a certain, "good enough" standard in a number of areas of one's life, including mental and physical wellbeing. That's what I'm personally striving for. To be more specific: I've been a very sedentary and fitness-averse person for most of my teen years. Now, that I've implemented a bodyweight fitness routine I do from home which takes about 4h a week and take the bike whenever I can, I feel way better in my body. The reduced stress and better sleep definitely also benefits my mental health. (Add the gained strength, endurance and overall physical health - as well as physical attractiveness - and it's a no-brainer!) Although: I won't ever be a powerlifter, a gymnastic, a modern dancer etc. - but I'm at a "good enough" level of physical fitness, considering my circumstances.

[@mimipaul7002]

@@kilian5239 that's a good approach really but I have a question what is a modern dancer though? I don't know what that is. I live in a place where nowadays physical beauty is far more important and that is frustrating people should be physically fit for their well-being not for looks that's what I meant by my comments really.

[@doganbirol13]

This channel always succeeds in cleansing my built-up toxicity from the mass culture that we are exposed through media and people who internalized it. Mental qualities matter more than competitive material factors (such as wealth, looks, being fashionable etc.) for each and every one of us.

[@Eurodollartrader]

I too, expose my internal organs when I love someone.

[@dhardy7318]

🤣

[@kyrazimmerman22]

😂😂😂🤣🤣

[@peacewalker7675]

Naughty cupboard for you my friend lol

[@g.j]

😂😂

[@treeoflife7151]

you give them your ultrasonography images right? because that's what i do too!

[@candeem.7456]

The thing is, physical appearance is what will determine if the person wants to do anything with your beautiful soul during the initial encounter. I mean, tinder for instance. It only takes a second or two to either swipe left or right. If the person is attractive, then we scroll down and read the person's profile and see if we can be more interested. If not, we swipe left after one second, not giving a shit about the person's personality.

[@diferofo]

A pic and profile info speak tons about you, don't forget that!

[@MM-fs7mt]

If you’re going in Tinder to find a soulmate I have some bad news for you.

[@tikdoe7563]

@Josip Wrong on so many levels. What the app was designed for says a lot about the people using it.

[@tikdoe7563]

@Josip That's the point if the app becomes a market for nudes and you sign up for the app it says a lot about what you want... And it says a lot about most of the people using the app there's a reason some apps are known to create successful relationship while others are known for hookups and catfishing. And to the rest of your comment so what you're telling me is women are human and care about physical attraction? What's your point lol of course the initial attraction is important but not to the extent that It is for men, women aren't as visually stimulated that doeent mean they don't care what the guy looks like they just don't like to focus on that aspect becuase again the looks aren't what stimulate them, but yes it plays a part.

[@tikdoe7563]

@Josip I'm not going in circles with you, you are all over this comment section passionately arguing and refusing to see others points becuase you already think you know every thing there is to know about this topic. You're obviously bitter so I'll leave you to continue spamming this comment section.

[@tracesprite6078]

I think we are attracted to people who have qualities that we lack. So a shy person may like a more confident person. A serious person may be drawn towards a more playful person. If you're feeling overwhelmed by life you may be drawn towards someone who stands up for themselves but if you keep rushing through life you may admire a reflective, studious type. This theory of attraction assumes that we keep wanting to balance and enrich our approach to life.

[@Nola5427]

That is so very true! They say opposites attract and our diffrences balance each other out.

[@DaveNagrom]

Want to be attractive to others? Cultivate your character and your passion. If that is your focus, you will have success in every aspect of your life. You become a person that you respect, and you are respectful of others. You view life with a sense of adventure and appreciation. You appreciate others, but you do not need them. In this sense, you are not compelled to impress others, neither are you seeking to be impressed. You just are, and if someone else adds to your life, great. If not, your life is still great! You are already, continually, cultivating the life you seek. It is this, that makes you attractive to others. And it is that level of self-awareness, that establishes a connection with others. You attract that energy into your life. You recognize it, and are drawn to it. You do not let others dictate how you think or feel. Your goal is to be YOUR best self! That dude who flipped you off at the traffic light? He has no personal connection to you, so you place no value on his gesture. It does not affect you, and you remain unresponsive to his conduct. You determine how you react. You exhibit your character. A person like this, is attractive to others. He will undoubtedly meet his match.

[@CelesticCF]

Lies.

[@Abdullah_hakim]

when she/he tells you, "i begin to love myself more when you are nearby" , it's the single most honest and loving compliment that can ever be made for you by him/her.

[@Avvura]

Unfortunately, what hurts is finding someone attractive and connecting with them, sharing your vulnerabilities and thoughts, while also hearing theirs, giving them your trust and heart, to only be abandoned and hurt in the end. The complete 180 of the feeling with them and without almost feels like your thoughts are only dreams, like its not real. Sorry just been oof'd in the heart recently.

[@sarcasmbanega5997]

Hey! How are you?

[@Avvura]

@@sarcasmbanega5997 I'm okay. Learning to just live with it and live my life and if she comes back in some capacity, we'll see.

[@vaibhavchaudhary27]

Avvura You’ll get through this, wish you good health and future. Take care! :)

[@ghosted1662]

Yeah, me too. Found my human and then we fell out of love slowly and excruciatingly.

[@Avvura]

@@ghosted1662 Dopamine is a hell of a drug lol

[@vineetgairola7363]

Beauty has no obvious use; nor is there any clear cultural necessity for it. Yet civilization could not do without it. -Sigmund Freud

[@derek9153]

Dogee I Absolutely agree with you. Have not bothered to fact check it, but if he said it, he clearly doesn’t understand the human mating dance.

[@silvervixen007]

I guess he doesn't know biology then

[@paulorlando5877]

If everyone was beautiful how would we know beauty?

[@danpetru]

@Dogee I it's written there no obvious use-perheaps meaning that, from a scientific perspective, it's not clear how it works. Also- it's not clear that he is refering to beauty as in beautiful women or beauty in general - a tree, a sunset, a story.

[@l.ferrer7923]

“Sick Man Fraud” ~ alternate spelling of his name and theories. 😂😆

[@crookedroots4000]

Never take anyone for granted if you are truly loved by that person, never underestimate them or make them feel anyless than a priority in your life!!❤ don't make the mistakes that I did and lose someone so perfect.

[@tyrannde6392]

Aww true shit; I lose her a few years ago, I'm never gonna find someone like her

[@crookedroots4000]

@@tyrannde6392 It's so hard man. I don't think I'll ever connect with someone the way I did with my ex!!😢

[@rubyrootless7324]

I'm at this point at which I don't know whether I'm loved or being taken for granted. When my SO is there, like physically next to me, I feel so appreciated and loved but as soon as there's physical distance, it's like he doesn't even care. I ran away from home a couple weeks prior cuz I had an argument with my mum, my dad's in the hospital and I had a breakdown cuz it was all too much, I told my SO and he hasn't tried to talk to me in three days, didn't even ask how either my dad or I were doing and when I told him about all that, it felt like he didn't really hear me On a spectrum of care it's always one way or the other, so... unbalanced. I'm rambling, I'm sorry, this is just making me feel sad today

[@crookedroots4000]

@@rubyrootless7324 I think that you should definetley consider moving on. Its obvious that he doesnt view you or your family as a priority in his life, I know you probabley have a very stong connection with him and feel like you cant do any better than him but trust me you can. You deserve to have someone care about your problems and be there for you whether your face to face or not.

[@rubyrootless7324]

@@crookedroots4000 I think I'll have to tell him that this is an issue I consider breaking up over if it doesn't change in a way that both parties can agree on. Thank you for your advice. It really made me feel better to be listened to, kind person out there

[@aayushsingh4645]

I feel quite vulnerable after watching this. It's like this videos described my inner self and it's quite frankly frightening and liberating knowing there are others like me.

[@punoko6062]

well we're the same species, humans suck

[@zoruauser]

You can acquire all of these traits that "make" you attractive to a wider-range of people, you can have a polished body that opens you up to more people. I feel like when we develop ourselves, we emotionally open more people up to ourselves, but we don't open ourselves up to them. You might acquire the body that spicy senorita has wanted to see on you for years now, but was it worth the effort? You can't acquire unconditional love by creating the conditions, you need to find someone who loves you for who you are. Practicality-wise, you can't keep up an act forever and your body will always change, it's not loving of yourself to develop these "attractive" traits when the most attractive trait to the one person you actually need is to simply be yourself emotionally. I think that's the point, it's not that we have to ignore practically or the realities of biology and psychology; we need to learn how to set those aside so that we ourselves can experience what feels like an organic interaction with people. We're not going to attract everyone with our true, inner-selves. That's the point, though. We don't want to just attract someone, I feel like we want to attract someone with the things we possess naturally and without effort so that we can feel like we're loved unconditionally.

[@louisecoope6581]

This resonates with me. My weight yo yo's and the last two partners I have had expressed distaste when I put on weight (by the way I'm not even overweight I'm just not skinny or toned when I'm at my biggest). I felt so let down that was even an issue to those people- that my looks specifically my weight had been THAT big a deal breaker... Anyone else had these experiences ?

[@zoruauser]

@@louisecoope6581 There's a line to where you're overweight to the point where it affects yourself. We're biologically designed to put on weight to an extent, as fat is just "excess energy" no fat at all is just as unhealthy as an overweight body. I feel like it's proper to expect your partner to look good. (Coming from me, a guy who body-builds and has noticeable muscles) but there is a line to where you're encouraging your partner to be unhealthy for the sake of visual pleasure. I feel it's selfish of a partner to expect your body to change when it's not even unhealthy. I personally like chunky and big bodies in my girls, but I would not encourage her to be fat. Her health is more important to me than simply having more cushion to my pushin' Those experiences are very common, we have expectations for our partners that can fluctuate (Familiar term?) and when we fluctuate outside of our partner's needs, it feels like an attack on them I feel. I think from an individual perspective you should have opinions and the ability to voice them constructively and lovingly while also not expecting them to change. Love for the most part comes from within I feel, when you can't love a person in any shape or form they're in I think that's a view on yourself. Because ultimately, you should both come together for the truth and the truth is, unless they're in an unhealthy state, there's nothing wrong with their body.

[@egusisoup1826]

The problem with your comment is you think unconditional love exists. Making yourself more attractive is the only logical answer, as it opens you up to choice, rather than being damned to the only person who finds you redeemable

[@silvervixen007]

The real turn on is never just a well polished body but always and primordially, well fashioned soul

[@MsLoila]

silvervixen007 hardly it's always the outer appeal. I never think the idea of sexiness can inscribe within it the idea of soul. they are two distinct concepts looks may or may not be the predominant factor while considering a person sexy; but the concept of sexiness will never extend to the idea of soul. Much too sombre and complex to fit in a first view appeal of someone.

[@mjj7781]

@Josip I've never seen a Jason Mamoa movie but I read about Gandhi, Albert Schweizer, Aurelius, Camus, Sartre, Nietzsche etc. Ok, I wasn't wet but Jason Mamoa also leaves me dry

[@mjj7781]

@Josip there is something wrong with you when you can't even imagine this; many good looking people look very empty(and their mind set orbits always around the gym, how good they look and how much money they want to make and this is not attractive - btw I am not saying that all of them are) - my experience is that I fall in love with personalities who show empathy, are interested in being a kind person, being creative and so on. I also noticed when other females talked about a man they called "hot" or "cute" I couldn't see it bc he seemed f. e. shallow to me - and this turns me off. There are also women who are not interested in a masuculin man. That is a fact. For me this is too much, they look like a caricature of a man to me. I don't say that they should not care for their health but you can stay active by being active, walking, not always taking a car etc. I also been very irritated when females were saying "oh, he's so cute!!!" and screaming. To me there is also two kinds of good looking: the good looking one and the shallow good looking who is a big turn off. And the ones who look good not in a shallow way can also leave me cold.

[@ytb8361]

What if you get trauma induced psychosis caused by family and made worse by bad therapists, acquaintances? Does it mean you have no value until you find a way to heal?

[@caesare.j.w.668]

I AM NOT LONELY I AM STRONG I NEED NO ONE (cries in corner)

[@pasteltessa8794]

I think a genuine smile on your face makes you 10 times more attractive instantly

[@Vulturefist]

PastelTessa: Amen!

[@jaymercha3859]

maybe 100 times more attractive.

[@daftwod]

It never fails. To the point where need to stop smiling as much..

[@barbarataylor5068]

Agreed. Not super useful as advice, though.

[@AnnAnn-gl1qu]

not when you don t have teeth

[@babysisdolls3336]

Amazingly i am more attractive at 57 than at 27..lol i am more emotionally happier.

[@avatarjonathan3568]

So often I find that ‘intelligent’ communicators of love and attraction speak of physical attraction as if it’s completely unnecessary and even counterproductive. That if only the emotional connection is there the physical connection will surely be also. This is simply not the case and these ‘intelligent’ communicators would do well to teach people how to be more attractive so that when a person finds someone with whom THEY want to be romantically involved with the feeling is more likely to be mutual and a relationship can progress. I’m so sick of the physical attraction of a romantic partner being discounted and thrown aside. Emotional connection is absolutely important but it is absolutely not a replacement.

[@keyboardcorrector2340]

Agreed. It is actually quite shallow for people to dissociate themselves from physicalities in dating during conversations and do not have the wherewithal to input their physical preferences.

[@avatarjonathan3568]

@Rosemary Terra not what I’m referring to. If people care about being attracted to their partner the assumption is that they’re looking for a ‘Kim Kardshian’ or someone on the cover of a magazine. The ‘Velma’s and Shaggy’s’ are still attracted to each other and wanna have sex based partly on a physical drive. The idea that because committed love is supposedly the only thing that really matters and that physical attraction can just be thrown by the wayside is just not true. Anyone who dates knows that if they’re dating someone they’re not attracted to physically then there’s something important that’s missing. So caring about being physically attracted to your partner isn’t shallow or placing an unrealistic ideal like Kim kardashian on them.

[@Pootaatooo]

is this a personal attack or something?

[@noone7767]

I felt that too

[@evoloxe]

Ahh the pain

[@4everu984]

Sad potato and No One you are beautiful! No way, he is just asking you how you show up and ask you be truthful with yourself. Your KZbin names say a lot. I think you two are perfect for each other...if your both single you should inquire. 🥰😍🤣

[@sarcasmbanega5997]

@@4everu984 Hey! How are you?

[@noone7767]

@@4everu984 .... Lol ... Didn't think our names would be sad too .... That aside thanks for trying to cheer us up .... I am quite happy with myself actually .....totally meant that as a joke

[@lightdweller1]

No mention of humour? Humour can be incredibly attractive, it can transmute a tense situation into a bonding moment. It also tells you so much about a person’s character: Self-deprecating, dark, witty, silly, awkward bad jokes (possibly nerves).

[@treeoflife7151]

i agree. taking everything seriously and not being able to 'play' because of ego or something is definitely a turn off.

[@zantigar]

This is hands down the best School of Life lesson I've seen so far - clear and thrillingly illuminating, much better than the usual postings which are more concerned with being clever than comprehensible and helpful.

[@MayriMay]

“We could learn to pay as much, if not more, attention to the foundations of an exciting mindset.” “The real turn on is never just a well polished body, but always and primordially, well fashioned soul” Well said ♡

[@7yep4336dfgvvh]

It's cheesy and fundamentally false. Humans as sexual beings are most definitely attracted to something more to do with this physical world, not the soul. A beautiful soul is not going to get a man hard/woman wet if you're 400 pounds.

[@Superhugao]

That was not just a video. That was poetry.. Beatiful message.

[@EonzStop0]

Face, Race, and Height will determine how attractive you are initially. As in a man with a bad personality that looks good won't suffer as much as an unattractive man with a good personality when trying to stage dates, enter relationships, etc.

[@Anna-rb6rg]

Disagree. Stupid beauty is also ugly. Sex is only a part of relationship. You can think of it in terms of health: yours "Face, Race, and Height" say me something about one part of your genes, your mental abilities and emotional intelligence say me something about other part of your genes. My genes of height want genes of intelligence. Maybe for your genes height and symmetry are now more important, I can imagine that, but please not overgeneralize.

[@Toussainelouverture]

I agree. As a man if you´re far too below the average threshold you may come up with the most inspiring, positive and multifaceted personlity and have no success. It is true that for long-term fullfilment emotional intelligence, maturity and delaying gratification are key. The point is, however, that an ever larger growing part of the population may never encounter situations in which they may be forced to prove the latter since they are disqualified right from the get-go. Average man still have chances to lock it but will have to be very confident and resistant since their long list of perceived and experienced rejections has been growing for quite some time as well.

[@abuasmaa9067]

did he just say that race determines attractiveness oh no he is racist

[@sssddddser]

When women say "men", they are excluding short men from the conversation as much as men exclude fat/ugly women when they talk about "women." There you go. Now you can better understand the opposite sex.

[@apexdraft8385]

@Josip Damn I'm short sadly. 5'5 😔. But it doesn't fucking matter fuck em

[@sam08g16]

The distance between these videos and reality is at least a few light years

[@thabokgwele5268]

Lol no kidding.

[@sanjeevkushwaha4043]

More than few light years 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@KateLate____]

Be the change you wish to see in the world! (and just date enlightened people from the comments section)

[@joelmalacara80]

Remember guys...you’re not ugly, you’re just poor😀

[@Olando89]

You got a good sense of humor? You ever done stand up?

[@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385]

Bruh being attractive has nothin to do with money

[@sarcasmbanega5997]

@@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 It does bro.

[@awakenthegreatnesswithin]

I Like KZbin. Lol 😂 you ain’t met no golddiggers yet 🤔

[@sarcasmbanega5997]

@@awakenthegreatnesswithin Poor him.loll ( I like YOutube. )

[@naram07]

You guys get the point across so beautifully and in a way I'd never considered or perhaps had an inkling of but was never able to articulate. Amazing stuff.

[@kinkyplunk]

I've been refreshing KZbin all day, waiting for the new School of Life video. So happy.

[@moda-vi]

Nobody: Incels: tongue posture and nose to mouth ratio

[@stanfatou2002]

LMAOOOWJANHFHJWJSK. Losers

[@panzerbanz7296]

Im just saying that its a fact that there is such thing as correct tonge posture and correct breathing it has been proven multiple times. And it does make a person more attractive if the have correct tongue posture and correct breathing. But of course what kind of person you are matters a lot as well

[@moda-vi]

Dogee I your low iq is reflected in the fact that you don’t understand how this meme works. Learn to read before you accuse others of having low iq babe 😘

[@stanfatou2002]

@Dogee I if black women are the least desirable then why tf i got men of all races wanting me? You: *surprise pikachu face*

[@stanfatou2002]

@@moda-vi don't worry he is reflecting his sad and terrible love life on us lol

[@YuyiLeal]

You've done it again, put up a video that sparks so much emotional intelligence. Truly beautiful! Thank you!

[@matteomeloni3681]

Of everything I hate about my childhood, the way I was raised unloved and uncared for, what I hate the most and cannot absolutely forgive is the fact that the people that should have made me feel good about myself, made me feel completely and utterly unattractive and impossibile to have charm.

[@fangus5076]

2:45 Damn I did not expect TENTACLE PORN

[@JP51ism]

And @6:00, one is *handcuffed* to a bedpost!

[@neogbfe3587]

Met a woman who found men attractive for what they had to offer during the time being. Once she bonded and grew bored, she dumped them. She had never been the dumpee. Ego plays a big part in how some individuals seek partners. Even females can seem preditorial and selfish.

[@angellacanfora]

For about 10 minutes in my 20s, I was what you would call "hot." For most of my life I'd been a little overweight so after losing the weight & becoming "hot," I entered a different world and it was, for me anyway, an ugly one. Women would often be nasty to me, and it seemed like there was always a man in my face whenever I went out in public, trying to smooth talk or lay his hands on me. I couldn't confide in anyone but my then-husband about the issues I was having because no one thinks of "hotness" as a problem! It opened my eyes, made me realize that physical attractiveness can actually be a hindrance and an impediment, especially to forming relationships. Maybe if one is born "hot" they don't have these issues because they grow up with a different perspective, but being suddenly thrusted into the "hot chick" world, I felt out-of-my-depths and lonely. Luckily I don't have this problem anymore! ;)

[@malakmanar2646]

I’ve been wondering about this particular question lately, impressive tracking SoL!

[@elpelucawalrasiano3865]

I can't believe how deep your analysis are. I love it, this channel is incredibly improving my mind and soul.

[@providence9481]

It’s your attitude and energy that make you attractive. And that is beautiful.

[@MikaAttaoui]

Thank you School of Life for shedding your wisdom again with us. You definitely help me deal with my waywardness - on a daily basis, which is awesome - and get to know myself better. I will save in my mind the last sentence, considering that I find it tremendously alined with my way of thinking: "The real turn on is never just a well-polished body but, always and primordially, a well-fashioned soul. 💙

[@MihaiPocol99]

I used to be anxious and depressed cuz of my low self-eestem and physical complexes but somehow I went through a period when I met people who appreciated me enough and the beauty in me despite my negativity. It was like a fairy tale though it ended like a nightmare. After a few years, I became more mature, I became aware of all my fears, I'm trying to overcome my situation, accepting what I cannot change, I became more confident, but now I feel more and more the alienation , the alienation that crushes my existence. I feel more and more like I am lonley and I cannot approach anyone physically and emotionally, I do not know how yet. Even though I'm more attractive than in the past.

[@tikdoe7563]

How did it end like a nightmare?! This was a very interesting read even though it's just a comment lol

[@Usemoderation]

1. A sense to f slightly being at odds with mainstream society 2. an unshockable nature 3. A tension between good and bad 4. Vigor and impatience 5. Kindness

[@lauracarey2368]

I love this! I don't think I'm physically attractive. However, I am always surprised that I get attention. I can 100% identify with the sexy traits that aren't physical. It's made me see myself a little differently.

[@user_-qg6yd]

*Short answer* Genes.

[@zuzkajulka]

Nope

[@mykiea5156]

Benito Mastrangelo hahahaha end of video lol

[@TheHarryPotters]

Spot the incel

[@mashable8759]

And money

[@elinope4745]

@@zuzkajulka show me a banana with a great personality that matches what this video was talking about. Know why bananas don't have those qualities? Genes.

[@nightsage217]

In my circle, we know it as "second look beauty". Attitude of life & manner of converse contributes to this category.

[@pinkblossomsky]

These videos's graphics are always awe provoking to me... That would definitely attract me to the person who made them. An admirable person is what renders attractiveness for me.

[@camiloguzman1801]

I had to thank you, for being a light in a hard moment in life. Personally society as a all has failed to me (shit happens is no personal or big deal), especially church (they let me rott in my deepest and painfull moment), but little by little i began to see there is another world. Thank you for all the nice things that you post has help me a lot.

[@rea8585]

For me, it has always been about great conversation and about challenging me intellectually 😊

[@user-hx1nr9ru1p]

@Dogee I You're on fire today man lmao

[@mashable8759]

Yeah it's always conver$$$$$ation

[@MohdZaheeruddins]

Mmmm.. so let's begin do you believe in soul and God ?😁

[@LH7CH7]

@@MohdZaheeruddins bruh

[@rag83991]

Mohammed Zaheeruddin wow that’s so deep bro

[@underkoffer1621]

This is a beautiful little daydream, and I'd probably be irresistable if it really worked like this. But as others have said, the truth is obviously totally different.

[@annaheya2109]

It’s the emotional intelligence that I find the most attractive trait in a person

[@lebowski5721]

Even though if you think you are ugly, the most important thing in relationship isn't about appearance, but it is about the time and memory that You have spent and Made with her, and those are something that Made a thing what we called love

[@lesteradams2282]

I kinda have to agree. You'll remember the other person not for they look, but how they made you feel.

[@preranapradeep3963]

But people still do cheat no matter how fulfilling you are

[@labtechtech]

All it takes is one moment of weakness out of thousands.

[@tomdingleberry6174]

I did and it was the worst mistake of my life

[@joycejnn]

Yes they do and then it is ruined . It can never go back to the way it was

[@preranapradeep3963]

@@joycejnn well it shouldn't be. In fact one should never try to go back in this scenario

[@mjj7781]

yes, but the cheater had the problem not the one who's been cheated on (not too sure if this is correct English)

[@cosmic_snot]

I come here to get smarter and improve my language. Thank you, skool of liyef.

[@lenhindle1108]

This is an amazing insight....thank you...it seems like a perfect decription of love.... Bottom line...no matter what you got ..like who you are... accept yourself...be yourself..love yourself (your kind slightly odd slightly wicked self) and rock what you've got...you will be attractive (its called confidence and kindness and authenticity)... ROCK WHAT YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE...and you will be attractive

[@emmanuel1163]

Always impressed and refreshed by Alains preservation of an expansive vocabulary when everyone else seems to be dumbing down and limiting theirs, especially in public figures making English "great again", lol.

[@uchiha21ish]

I really miss ur philosophers and political theories series . But good video thanks

[@k.strive46]

lol welp

[@Tiffany-mw1du]

Yeah lol

[@minervaloves]

What we see on tv, print, or social media trashes us what “supposed to be” attractive unfortunately.

[@parthpathak4490]

Wow this is one of the most beautiful videos I've ever watched. Truly a revelation.

[@bsff269]

That was so beautiful. Thank you so much!

[@NunoYossarian]

The hability to use one's body as a true expression of the soul, regardless of social conventions.

[@gplgs4640]

You want to know what makes a person attractive? Just look at me. I can show you what DOESN’T make a person attractive

[@allaroundme5429]

Same here

[@goofycawfee]

Mood lmfao

[@mashable8759]

Lol count me in

[@awakenthegreatnesswithin]

What’s wrong with you guys????? Stop speaking bad about yourselves and man up The world sees you the way you see yourself Everyone has their own uniqueness Dress well Speak well Do things that build up your confidence Get out of your comfort zone Meet new people Etc Cmon guys you can do it Believe in yourself 😃😎

[@gplgs4640]

Awaken The Greatness Within It’s called “self-deprecation jokes are funny to Gen Z”

[@martingoode6994]

they say that confidence makes someone attractive. but its actually a level of fulfillment and satisfaction happiness with your life that gives you confidence.

[@tarikhusein]

Superb video as always. This channel is gold.

[@DanielIles]

10 years ago: Dressing like you are well put together is attractive *Now: Homeless Yeezy fit* Signals of fertility and resistance to disease

[@godofnothing428]

Daniel Iles - Small Business just because you don’t understand style doesn’t mean you’re right.

[@thl4444]

Lmaoooo

[@tranquilrabies]

Derelicte!

[@wezichirwa5398]

Still is attractive

[@allenwarfield]

The most attractive to the individual is who they would prefer a future with

[@lefterissofras]

Awesome video once again!!

[@Anna-mc3ll]

Thank you very much for these great thoughts!

[@hemavathyg2494]

We get attracted to well fashioned soul!!!! All points explained are strikingly true but may be the physical attractiveness was more influenced by movies?

[@Pandamasque]

This video describes the direct opposite of sexy, someone 'safe' that people settle for, before cheating on them with a bad boy/girl.

[@swatinanda9725]

1:33 Totally relatable to my current situation after getting into college 🙂 "For closeness, connection, understanding & an End to shame & isolation"💭💔

[@jonathandjing1065]

anyone else make use of this great man's videos to learn and to peacefully fall asleep ?

[@Omnigrotesque]

"Good sex promises to feel like something of a conspiracy against everybody else." Gorgeous! I had to write that down. And also thank you for this reply to the trend of pseudo-scientific over-simplifications, trying to explain every aspect of love and sexuality with bizarre and reductive biologisms.

[@rahul_ji21]

Can u 🥺 please explain that line??

[@mrcolemore5831]

8 Minutes later, my question is 'What makes a person attractive?'

[@Alphacentauri819]

Mr Colemore it’s all listed clearly in the video!! Watch again!

[@Alphacentauri819]

Starts at 3:30

[@MrDanee22]

Great video thanks man 👍❤️

[@tammy8028]

Being nice to someone, building them up, not tearing them down, and being understanding.

[@hopebgood]

I'm attracted to nice, genuine people who I can have a laugh with. Physically attractive to me of course but money or status doesn't matter.

[@susannaharget509]

This explains SO much! I really loved this lesson. Thank you!

[@sarcasmbanega5997]

Hello!

[@qaz-fi1id]

I met a girl years ago who I thought was ugly and the more I got to know her the more beautiful she became, I mean I thought she was absolutely gorgeous.

[@venomousbluefrog]

That has happened to me a few times, too bad the guy had already insulted me by expressing his negative first impression.

[@pogolas]

I think one aspect of life, that can't be faked, is self-confidence. For me, this is the true attractiveness. If one, is not desirable, he/she should look inside, and find what "defects" others already see or sense.

[@kcla3131]

I agree with mostly all. Ppl speak and respond according to whats in them or in there heart. This goes for there desires as well because they also which also come from within. So I can also say that everyone that makes a connection is doing it based on similar desires and thoughts. These desires/thoughts are either -consciously (aware)or subconsciously (unaware.) Thoughts can be repllied away to create desires\ new experiences. Nice video.

[@chewface]

If there is ONE thing I have learned about humanity....it's that "attraction" is contagious. People are only ever attracted to people who are seen as attractive to someone else. That's how people determine value. "Well does anyone else like them? No? Then I'm not attracted to them either. Yes? Then I am attracted to them very much." This phenomenon is exactly why women find men more attractive after finding out they are married. And there are a lot of studies to back this up. Kinda crazy. And also sad. Because humans are literally insane.

[@veeeeediots]

Not me. It feels trashy to even have a crush on someone taken. Some girls want to be a sidepiece, other girls do not. I also like attractive people & have a certain taste. Some people agree, some don't but it doesn't sway my opinion. I have dated "ugly" ones who looked cute to me. The "you can do better" comment was used on me a lot.

[@unnamedshadow1866]

i kinda agree on this and kinda dont. If you focus to much on the emotional part you run high risks of getting friendzoned. Your level of attraction will be so intense that a lot of girls will be scared at how easily you can pick up at their vulnerabilities and have them open up their deepest fears and regrets. They will love you, but they will be scared of loving you more, as they will be scared of losing themselves in your words and support and they will also be scared that they cannot do the same for you making them feel bad. So try to also focus on the physical part too. A little bit of mundane talk is also necessary.

[@berrieblanders9224]

“Yet by recovering contact with some of what we emotionally crave from another person, we can - happily but not merely conveniently - rediscover that the real turn on is never just a well polished body but, always and primordially, a well fashioned soul.” Wow.

[@mojojer924]

Excellent video, you're right! There are a lot of different ways to being attractive other than just the physical, there is emotional and moral value as well. I myself have clear skin, full lips, clear eyes and nice bone structure, but I'm not seen as sexy or hot by the majority, and even ugly to a slim few because of it. Most people view me as beautiful or average at worst, but not sexy. In this day and age, people don't know how to distinguish the difference between sexy, beautiful and attractive. When you're attractive, people usually see you as hot or beautiful, but even a person that is physically unappealing can be seen as attractive if they have a really outgoing personality, charm, the way they walk, or just for having a nice body without having an attractive face which goes back to physical. Sexy or hot means someone has the right amount of sexual appeal or aura about them, no matter what their physical qualities are. Beautiful people are usually more beautiful than hot or sexy because they have good facial features or personality over a good body and sexy clothes. Attraction just means that a person can attract different people to them with or without even trying, whether it's for a good reason or bad reason. You don't have to be beautiful or hot to be attractive sometimes people are attracted to your positivity and your light from within!!!!!! I love all of your videos and I can't wait to see your next uploads and posts!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!💖❤💖❤💖❤

[@WaffleDaily]

Considerably early, time to mention I upload waffles every day

[@awakenthegreatnesswithin]

Waffle Daily looks nice 👌😎

[@Sol_Invictus_]

Do you do gluten free waffles?

[@alminhasanovic862]

You didn't.

[@discopantsandhaircuts1135]

at 47 I only just discovered waffles, I have become enlightened

[@Madeline64]

You’re slacking, you haven’t posted in two days.

[@ruueira]

so basically this is just the long version of the russian guy that got asked what's the most important part of a woman and he answered "soul."

[@amygalvin1799]

When I was younger I would be attracted to looks and status.Now 57 I am attracted to intelligence and kindness( of course physical chemistry is important), but there has to be a deeper connection than outward appearances.

[@turnthepage867]

What a great video! I saved it for future reference.

[@danpetru]

Yes, it's exciting to find beauty that is not obvious and many a time we are far more atracted to somebodies way of being rather than their looks. But we musn't go the other way and denigrate beauty, trying to mark it as shallow, cheap or whatever we can come up with. Apreciate whatever you like about yourself and about others b it the way somebody looks or mooves or the way somebody talks or feels, there is no line , idon't think.

[@shiewhun1772]

School of Life's videos are free. Forget about KZbin ads and how I'm the product. Still, the videos on this channel are essentially FREE. Thank you, School of Life.

[@dexterlee569]

Best voice on KZbin. This guy is incredible