What Men Desire | Men's Round Table | A Black Love Series

[@stacialavonne2623]

Why would I reach for the check if YOU asked ME out?!?

[@delucastudios3097]

they are in fear that’s it’s a potential gold digger trait. or whatever other excuse they made in their mind

[@aksinclair5251]

Preach!!!! Make it make sense!!!! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[@lisapope9616]

Reach? You're testing me? 👦 Boy bye! Literally!

[@lisapope9616]

Thank God for the more mature "old skool" gentleman. There is hope.🙏🏽

[@kaywall6719]

Thank you!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@chanellycastillo-guante7343]

Anticipation for a women to reach for the check, something wrong with single women over 35, first date "at the crib" and yet you desire for women with amazing character traits. I cringed at listening to how these men spoke. It sounds like they desire a one-sided relationship. Stop expecting so much from women when you have nothing to offer. The majority of women do not want their time, energy, emotional and mental health being toyed with.

[@ayanomar1408]

All I heard was red flags

[@rubymargaritais5657]

@@ayanomar1408 exactly my brain said run.

[@LifeisAisha]

On point, Chanelly. Any man that anticipates a woman reaching for the check cannot afford to be dating... Women are to be courted, if you cannot afford that much, spend your energy building up that bank account until you can.

[@queenshanda8152]

That's what I said

[@gamu_official]

Couldn't have said it better!! And all the little tests etc 🗑

[@TheDstinfrared34]

First problem... referring to women as girls. Second problem...thinking 35 is old..like wtf. Third problem...thinking that a meeting at someone's crib for the first date is acceptable. Fool...I don't know you! First dates should be early, in the broad day light, and out in a public place. Are you not thinking of the safety of these women??? Fourth...if you're so old school a grown woman is NOT going to reach for the check period on the first date. My goodness! Whew. 😕

[@breal6905]

Thank you!!! Well said.

[@ayanomar1408]

all of what you said!!! whew I am triggered and I am married

[@EarthAngel44-qmcc]

Right!

[@orvillemcpherson6417]

This is the problem when you get a group of young men trying to discuss mature relationships

[@niki-mars955]

No. Lies. Told. 🙌🏾 It's scary these so called "men" are the slim pickings we got to choose from 🥴

[@blkyogi999]

Splitting the Bill on the first date... my advice: don’t ask anyone out if you’re splitting the bill. That’s not a date at all 😂😂... y’all are too much

[@myeattanosike4918]

Just fucking sorry as hell! Our youth so fucked up!

[@exquisitejewelrikkei2957]

My thoughts exactly!

[@crystalanamericaninsicily]

Exactly. What kind of relationship am I going to have with a Man who can't even afford to buy me a Meal on the FIRST date.

[@delucastudios3097]

I see what they are alluding to but if you ask me on a date, don’t try to test if i’m willing to pay my share as if we came here as two friends coming to chill. I think people use that as some sort of signal because there is this culture of gold digging and people go on dates with everyone just for the free meal. idk it’s just messed up

[@crystalanamericaninsicily]

@@delucastudios3097 Never split the check Ladies. Red flag sign of a Dusty and a Man who will NEVER be Relationship material.

[@djari3s412]

Absolute foolery. Except for the married one, the rest have NO idea how to court/date. Now this is why THEY are single. #littleboys

[@patriciabradford1304]

And they were cutting off the married guy shame 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@purplesoul9927]

@@patriciabradford1304 that's what I said. I wanted to hear what he had to say🤔

[@ChidaygoM2012]

They wouldn't even let the married guy spit game to them. They keep cutting him off. He's trying to give them facts. He's humble and respectful. That's why he's successfully married You can just see them zone out as he's talking. They don't know what to do with it, lol.

[@exquisitejewelrikkei2957]

Exactly

[@paulastafford1642]

100% agree with you

[@RebelRouserEsq]

There is something wrong with an "older" woman who is single?! Seriously? That narrative is so sexist and tired.

[@colinc5531]

False....i guess you dont get it smh....

[@luvmecurlznall]

I like how the one dude on the right corrected young buck. Like maybe she’s ready ready & all the dudes be playing games.

[@msneetsfunktified]

@@luvmecurlznall Right?! Been ready.. are there enough men that put in the work on themselves like too many women? 🤔

[@keisha609]

Yes there is

[@SpiritualLifeCoach43]

For a lot of single ladies, many woman have been kept sane and alive--real talk.

[@lulubelle2009]

The single men at the table haven't met anybody they like. When they like a woman all those games & little tests disappear 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@hazele.2861]

This is the comment! For example, many men are so prideful that immediately they hear the word “chase” they start screaming that they could never chase a woman, but once they meet their dream girl, the chasing is heavy! It’s really just wordplay, their egos are too big to say “i will pay for dates, I will treat her, I will cherish her, I will strive to make her happy” but once the right woman comes, they’ll do it, so I don’t even take their talk too serious 😴

[@anjukacey6658]

I would love to hear from men in their 30's and 40's. A mix of married and single. Men who desire to be married.

[@chelle8226]

Even if their 50s. A variety of men and the older perspective

[@chanda3x]

Agree, about a few minutes in, you could tell all of these men were fairly young.

[@iynnabaker8656]

I was thinking the same thing.

[@EarthAngel44-qmcc]

So true.

[@Chinkeyeyez25]

Agree different age ranges would be great due to perspective.

[@newmank0217]

Did the young 20 something just say something must be wrong with a woman who is single at 35? 😆 honey you haven’t lived enough to speak on such things.

[@breal6905]

He hasn't at all. Barely off milk.

[@ayanomar1408]

I laughed😂

[@ChrissyAnn85]

This child 👶🏼 🤦🏽‍♀️. He not ready

[@domoniquesmith88]

@@ayanomar1408 hard.

[@CeeceeH1819]

He cute though lol

[@vanessak.2353]

Ain't no reach, pay the bill or don't take us out, period! Thank God, I'm married, this is foolery.

[@derrickmason7457]

I’m married too I hear what your saying but this independent woman thing has changed the dating game it’s killing chivalry

[@jamilania9230]

Thank you!

[@jamilania9230]

Derrick Mason if a man takes a woman on a date and wants to pay the bill... he will. But I hear what you’re saying. The media and the entertainment industry’s push of feminism has played a role in this and now confused women are brainwashed to think they have to do things like pay for a grown man on a date to be a worthy woman... BUT these are grown men saying this at the table, not women. It’s just further brainwashing that these men are doing. Some women may watch this and think “ Oh, when I go on dates the guy might not be very interested in me or think less of me if I don’t attempt to pay for our date”... Also, the agenda to emasculate and feminize black men (and men in general) in the media has played a huge role too and it has clearly gotten to these men at the table. Smh. KEEP YOUR STANDARDS LADIES. You deserve a man to actually be a man and treat you with chivalry and respect. You will get exactly what you accept and allow.

[@derrickmason7457]

@@jamilania9230 I agree I would pay for a woman on a date. But a woman has to keep her feminine standards too. A lot of women want the female and the male role. Women aren’t often the damsels in distress type anymore where a man feels like he needs to take care of a woman like he should

[@RebelRouserEsq]

Women need to be “damsels in distress” to be cared for? Whew Lord.

[@taybee4653]

I would not go to a person house on a first date, but hey to each is own. 💁🏾‍♀️

[@traceyp6302]

Booty call?

[@SunkissedKuri]

I've learned this from having a crazy first date story years ago! 1. You don't know them 2. They are a stranger 3. YOU DON'T KNOW THEM. They have done nothing to prove they deserve to be at your home. That's a safe space. Everyone doesn't belong there

[@missanclarke7998]

Right

[@missanclarke7998]

Man just really dont get it your home is your heaven on earth you don't allow certain people there

[@lyricalhealer]

@@SunkissedKuri That is dangerous.

[@reyfin4922]

Back in my day guys were embarrased to have a girl pay on a date. What has the world come to? 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@toniilive7]

Exactly because if I pay that mean I wear the pants. You could never lead me if I pay. First its a date than the mortgage and car. What I need you for if I'm my own team.

[@crystalanamericaninsicily]

GOOD QUESTION. Never pay the Check. Did a whole video on the subject!!

[@bluedeveraux186]

Right! And these " hope she reaches for the check" dudes are the same ones talking about submission and other things the don't fit the role for lol.

[@crystalanamericaninsicily]

@@bluedeveraux186 Ladies NEVER reach for the check! He insistes...you leave.

[@MsBdoll87]

Exactly! A table full of lames, minus the dreadhead. He reminds me of the scripture, “do not be conformed to the world...”

[@milaniinalim3357]

Not enough wisdom at this table, please find better!

[@Hopeful999]

Well said!

[@JammyG360]

Reach?? Splitting bills??? 🤦🏾‍♀️ Did i ask u on a date? No! I’m not reaching for nothing and I’m for sure not splitting a damn thing. If u get up and leave i promise u i can pay for my meal. My thing is this, if you ask me out, it’s all on u buddy. I don’t ask men out, i just haven’t, I’m not against it but i haven’t. For me I don’t want to go to a restaurant or movies on the first date. I’m down for coffee, tea, a drink etc. I’m even more down for a walk and some ice-cream, let’s talk, u don’t have to spend much. Y’all overthink dates and some women expect too much when you’re just meeting a man. Also, don’t quiz me on a first date, let’s just talk normally. I would explain further but my thumbs are over it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@EarthAngel44-qmcc]

Well said Sista. 👌🏾

[@MsJae-md3ep]

I agree! I feel like a lot of men don’t even have the right to call themselves men with this kind of behavior.

[@rhinareese9238]

The first response I have seen in this thread that I think was very very well said! I agree!

[@fearless0122]

Well said sis 🙌🏾

[@ms.trinnacast]

I second that motion!!! where did they find these clowns at ??? go back and Recruit Timon because it's Obviously they don't have a Clue About Dating! Hot Mess!! on this Round table Single in Wonderland 'and I SEE WHY '' Talking about splitting a check'' Reaching for a check'' Having Dinner at your Home on the first Date '' BOY BYE'' JUST DAMM'' after YOU invited HER on a DATE OMG JUST DAMM''

[@chery_dominique]

I went on a date back in November and the guy was a total gentleman, opened the car door, pulled out my chair, paid for the meal (I did not reach) it was a good night, I knew it would be based on our conversations over the phone. If he wasn’t such a gentleman and looked at me to pay we wouldn’t be where we are now. It’s still new but going very well and I still haven’t paid for any of our many meals unless you count those I’ve cooked. I say all that to say, if you’re being cheap on the first date you can potentially turn someone off who could have been a really good match for you... IJS... 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@veelarea]

THIS!!

[@Snowboarding2020]

Keep running that game girl! I'm not mad at you.

[@chery_dominique]

@@Snowboarding2020 definitely not running game... I’m a normal person dating another normal person. If you’re an adult (not you personally but people in general) and you have to run game to be in a relationship then maybe that situation isn’t a good fit for you.

[@antisfresh5387]

Now tell the ladies and gentlemen what’s reciprocated for that? That’s what a lot of men are missing. If they pay for all the dates what do they get in return? For the ladies if a man pays for all the dates what should you do in return?

[@iyanttahowellmd]

Yes, no one wants a cheap guy. And I’m not a gold digger by no means. If you reduce a woman’s ‘worthiness’ to the price of a meal (which she can likely afford herself) then the question becomes is this about a man competing w the same person (woman) who they say they’re interested in? What’s up w this cloud of defensiveness and operating from a place of lack and/or paranoia? If you have to play these games & not ‘be yourself’ on a date, then you’re probably not ready for a relationship.

[@goodtrouble841]

🛑 regarding the comment made here about “older women (30+) who are single having *something wrong with them* - men (& women) need to STOP correlating ageism with singlism. many variables contribute to women (30+) being single. some are: uncoupled [by choice]; widowed; on healing journeys waiting on the right person/time; or prioritized rearing children or their careers/education for a designated time. NOT EVERY WOMAN prioritizes relationships early in life. NOR are interested in this new “*pick me*” culture. we need to destigmatize the narrative that women who ARE coupled are MORE desired/valued than single women. PERIOD‼️

[@breal6905]

Thank you!!! A person romantic relationship status doesn't determine their worth. Utter foolishness.

[@goodtrouble841]

@@breal6905 ❣️

[@cameronmartin679]

FACTS! I like myself and don't want to be bothered

[@CeeceeH1819]

And not to mention the amount of women in a relationship that are desperately miserable

[@goodtrouble841]

@@CeeceeH1819 🎯

[@nomasontomotimele6307]

Tiny request, the gentleman in the Harlem grey shirt, in future episodes, when you ask your guests questions, please let them finish their answers or thoughts without you interrupting. There was a bit of speaking over one another in this episode.

[@poetessbritt]

there was a point where the married gentleman was really getting deep and was cut off! i kept wishing he would rally and be like, "unt uh..not done yet homie"

[@Chinkeyeyez25]

I speak for those women over 35 and single, its not a bad thing at all.. It's by choice until that right one comes along.

[@celnda]

Or we can just be single and be happy without expecting to pair off

[@xORLVNDO]

Whatever

[@Chinkeyeyez25]

@@xORLVNDO Why whatever???

[@imcheckmate84]

Quality men are everywhere! If you are a woman who desires companionship yet you are single, perhaps you are the problem if these men aren't choosing you? Sistas, for some strange reason, believe they can tell men what we want in a woman rather than just listen/ask us what we're looking for in a woman. Time isn't on your side ladies.

[@Chinkeyeyez25]

@@imcheckmate84 being single doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, and that’s the problem people always assume that but the fact is companionship is nice but you want it to be with the right person. You can only speak 🗣 from your experiences and the women you have encountered because some women do ask what a man wants and it should be that way on both sides.

[@tamarelouw]

First date at the crib 💀 I refuse to reach for the bill, I'd rather die single

[@OnlyQueenE]

Lmaooooo

[@jackieclarke6781]

Lmaoooo

[@skylafragrances]

You want a woman with all these amazing traits, yet it's a red flag when only coffee for a first date is unacceptable to her? Hmmmm...

[@jenniferh.7219]

Skyla - it's interesting personally I have no problem with coffee dates I love it it keeps it simple usually you don't have to stay long if you're not interested. No need to rack up a Big Bill I find it to be perfect. I also just watched the female version of this video on Black Love with the women- and one woman said that she went on a date and the guy ate the last oyster on the plate without asking her if she wanted it first, and so she knew she wasn't interested (she literally stated she took that as a red flag). That basically sounded equally petty like obviously I don't know the full circumstance but that last oyster could have been sitting there for 7 minutes+ and he could have just assumed that she wasn't interested. So anyway I guess it goes both ways, some folk- both male and female can find the most petty or small insignificant or benign reasons not to consider continuing to date someone.

[@bigfellamike1913]

Yes. Coffee to get to know eachother should be okay with any lady.

[@skylafragrances]

@@bigfellamike1913 I dunno maybe I’m bias because sometimes I hate the smell of coffee🤷🏾‍♀️

[@simpleekomplikated8713]

They're so young and overflowing with fresh male audacity... This is adorably entertaining🤣🤣🤣.

[@subconsciousexpress876]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO THIS COMMENT GOT ME 😂😂😂

[@nikbks8637]

Yep. I can smell the baby powder!

[@jessicawatson15]

LMAOOOO I just wanna pinch their Wittle cheeks 🤣

[@letlovereign-]

Two things well three... 1. great convo. 2. an older woman not in relationship does not constitute something is wrong, it mostly means she won’t put up with BS and maybe career focused, shoot doctors are in school dang near to 30. 3. If you ask a person on a date meaning you are asking them to spend their time with you I don’t think on a first day it should be split. You asked for their time.

[@eclark4610]

I agree with your statement about older women. I am almost 39 and my tolerance for foolery is non existent. There is no way I will put up with bs or games.

[@EarthAngel44-qmcc]

#3, you hit the nail on the head!

[@Chinkeyeyez25]

@@eclark4610 So agree with you no time for any of it.. We too old to be lying or playing games just tell me WTF going on so I can act accordingly!!!!

[@eclark4610]

@@Chinkeyeyez25 Yes yes and yes!!! Also when I act accordingly don't get mad because now you want something different.. the games and foolery smdh

[@kimberlybenders1028]

You nailed it 👏

[@Bee9ce]

This whole convo was just a big ole bag of DEEP BREATH 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

[@shgarrett624]

The guy with the dreads, a real man...That's husband material there for real.

[@cynpam4543]

But he wants to bring your home on the first date 🤦🏾‍♀️no thanks

[@nolimitkk2715]

@@cynpam4543 I think he was just saying as an example a first date can be at the crib, he followed up with, BUT, if IM interested enough to take you out Imma pay the bill. And he’s married 3 years.

[@LifeisAisha]

"If they're old and single there's a reason for that.." The fact that 35 is "old" 😂 oh boy...where do they find these young minded men?

[@taryntatum3263]

Absolutely‼️

[@lgg7858]

Even over 35. Some women divorce , some women have not found men who are on their level so to be single is not a curse . these young men need a reality check

[@LifeisAisha]

@@lgg7858 on point. I'm 38 and divorced. Being single has been the biggest blessing for me during this time as I've used it to focus on self; and building a structurally sound life for myself and my children. I attract more men than I ever had, and my dating life is AMAZING! Mainly because at this point, and through my many experiences in life - I know my worth. Most people will never get to this point because they have trapped themselves in a relationship for the sake of others, false stability, judgement, or just being able to say they are in a relationship - and be unhappy as hell. These young men have A LOT to learn.

[@bluedeveraux186]

They said he's 22, basically still a child so that perspective is on par for his age 😆😆😆

[@kimberlyturner820]

35 is ripe!

[@mstapiwa123]

A table of grown men who split the bill on first dates? say something is wrong with single women over 35? 2 dollar dates? yikes yeah, couldnt make it past 3 minutes. Lol.

[@AllThingsTiffanyTV]

Sadly why our age group is struggling 😫😫

[@MsRaynahKamau]

agreed

[@s.c889]

Thank you!!! The world today is doing a great job emasculating these men....and I’m not saying women are any better but damn!

[@Voicesoftheeveryday-y3h]

I agree💯💯

[@breal6905]

Very sad. This speaks to why they are single. No provider or leadership skills in them. Maybe they simply want a partner. There is no way a woman should trust them to make the final decision on anything in their life.

[@ashleylong283]

So to see if she reaches for the bill first makes you feel good?... wow blown away with that one

[@yvonnef6240]

I partially agree with the quick first date. A quick coffee date is sufficient to determine if there's chemistry. Who wants to sit through a whole dinner when two people aren't vibing? The second date can be a real dinner date. I absolutely love this format. Keep these coming from both the male and female perspectives.

[@thatgirljo2119]

agreed on the coffee date/ quick date .did it before and I knew immediately I was not interested in anything more..kept it moving.lol

[@yvonnef6240]

@@thatgirljo2119 Okay! Trust me, I had the same experience.

[@newmank0217]

Coffee and lunch dates are great. Even a walk around the mall would have saved so much time. I wish I did more of those in my dating years.

[@use2bscanndalous]

I had a drinks date with my now husband. It gave me a chance to meet in person and see if i was interested in his look and conversation. Plus I wore a big hoodie to cover everything.

[@xORLVNDO]

💯❤️

[@taylortee8474]

To think that some men still think there’s something wrong with a woman who’s 35 and single 😂 black love do better 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@angemarie12]

Right. Thirty-five is a sweet pot. I'm not even 35 yet, and I know it's gonna be sweet.

[@breal6905]

Exactly! Do better.

[@Chinkeyeyez25]

@@breal6905 I so agree must do better because I am older than 35 an single by choice its not a bad thing at all...

[@NyakzOTSD]

of course there is.. men should not date women post 26.. She is another man unwanted experience at that point

[@TheColletteCollective]

@@NyakzOTSD or, she didn't want the man? Dwl. I'm 25 and married and God forbids, I'm 35 and divorce my husband for infidelity or he abused me, it's because I'm an 'unwanted experience'? 🤣🤣🤣 sweetheart, a man doesn't define a woman's value, and vice versa. That's God's job. I'm happy I know competent black men because the internet will have me think otherwise...

[@KyiaSada]

The problem is nobody wants to just be friends and hang out and build off that. Then wonder why you’re struggling in season of singleness

[@lyricbrutha6604]

Agreed. Literally heard my boy say he doesn't want to be friends with the women he's dating. He only considers her friendship if he intends to fk or be with her. So his kind gestures always have a motive and aren't genuinely friendly.

[@tracyam3484]

True all the relationships that are happiest and lead to long successful marriages were based on friendships

[@jazminerenee4077]

Why would I go to someone’s crib on the first date this ain’t no Booty call or high school.. overall good conversation

[@SDP6666]

I initially loved the idea of this show - but this is ridiculous. The questions are somewhat immature, and these answers are part of the reason woman don't think they can find a good man. The reaching comment is unacceptable. Either you paying for the date or not, if we going dutch, just tell me so I can make an informed decision or not. UGGG!!! Really disappointing episode.

[@taryntatum3263]

Not too disappointed, it helped solidify to BL what they’re STILL missing & needing on this show. Need men that are not LA bred, shallow like the women they’re speaking about. That’s what this show is for, to let women see how SOME men think and this group needs a new group that’s more mature and confident in who they are so we can hear a different side. This group confirmed to us the nonsense that still exist and showed why THEY are still single. “Hello, to this group of men, if you read this... you’re meeting women that mirrors you and you don’t like what you see.” You’re welcome 🤜🏽

[@EarthAngel44-qmcc]

@@taryntatum3263 exactly, spot on!

[@ChidaygoM2012]

She may reach to pay, but don't let her pay bruh. She's testing you too! Trust, that will become the running theme of your relationship. It will ignite her masculine side. And she will end up being more dominant in the relationship. You guys are the leaders. You set the tone from the jump. Assertively pay the bill. She'll respect you more.

[@bigfellamike1913]

Nahh, any chick who need that, is going to constantly need you to prove yourself and you'll never be enough.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

@@bigfellamike1913 I dont mind paying but for the first date yes we will test you. women watch if you are generous if you are we want to treat you good . Obviously im saying we its not the case for every women you right but its the case for a good hearted person that is looking for a genuine connexion and not dating around for fun

[@lyricbrutha6604]

@@bigfellamike1913 Or maybe she is resting in her feminine energy and allowing a man to rest in his masculine energy. Men give and lead while women receive and follow by design. If you want to receive as much as she does then maybe you're looking for the wrong gender. Get you a man to go half with and you too can receive equally.

[@bigfellamike1913]

@@lyricbrutha6604 neither of those actions are inherently feminine or masculine so that was a fail LMAO. If shes shit testing you on a first date she's already unpleasant and giving off terrible energy, you dodged a bullet asking her to go half

[@bigfellamike1913]

@@wesa4878 thats still less than what illegal immigrants cost us so they'll be alright. It's not like the government cares, as they're currently trying to make all of our lives worse regardless of race lol

[@TheBohodiva]

This is why so many on both sides are single. Men don’t want to be men anymore. They aren’t actually trying to court. Don’t limit yourselves ladies.

[@exquisitejewelrikkei2957]

Hearing these men talk, things have gone left when it comes to courting and pursuit. Wow, it’s a different day.

[@henrybrown9711]

As a man, I understand what they are trying to say, I just don't agree how they go about it. When I would go on a date, I was more interested in getting to know the young lady, and having her get to know me; and not just be focused on what I can provide. That being said, I would pay for the dates that I went to on, unless we mutually decided otherwise. With the newer generations, I believe men feel that if women can change what is expected of them or how they're treated; men should be able make some changes as well. Men and women should compliment (add value to) each other, rather than compete with one another. Until both sides find GOD, themselves and mature; we continue to have these gender wars.

[@aryannasingsvibrations1284]

🔥🔥🔥

[@DBrown-vg1fi]

Yess that was very well articulated! Love your perspective

[@joeroot9142]

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

[@sosimple7594]

💯💯

[@loria.thurman9478]

Wow! Wow! I typically don't comment on this kind of stuff, but in light of the Brothers' comments, both at the round table and in the comments, I feel this has to be said...Brothers, please, please, please remember which lane is yours and stop trying to straddle the line when it suits you. Yes, you were made to protect and provide, yes, you are kings. Yes, our role is and likely would be a supporting one if y'all protected and provided completely. Feminism wasn't just about women wanting equal rights, it's also about us wanting to be valued as a contributor, rather that's 1% or 100%. These brothers are obviously straddling the line and so are some of the commenters...so she needs to be intelligent, but God forbid she's educated? She needs to "reach for the check", to prove what, that she's willing, but remember her place. Oh and let's not forget many of "our" households are two income households, meaning a woman has to work to contribute financially, but feminism is the problem. I don't know about other women who might see this, but I've not had a man yet provide for me without my help. Really? I'm entirely insulted by this dialogue. The double standard is patronizing at best. It's these kind of men who sit back and wait to be chosen rather than intentionally choosing. Wise up Black men... grown women want to be chosen, handled with care, and valued for our contribution. Appreciate the effort we put into being beautiful, inside and out, being intelligent, educating ourselves, and for the fact that we bring all that and more to our relationships. #GrownA$$Woman #BlackGirlMagic

[@msneetsfunktified]

🙌🙌🙌

[@aryannasingsvibrations1284]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@eventplanner461]

I couldn't have said it better.

[@macxavier168]

Intelligence is great. But it's difficult to find a woman who is educated without holding that degree over a man's head. I think the problem sometimes is that women "bring things to the table" (high-paying job, college degree(s), status) that most men don't really care about.

[@SuperNas97]

These guys just told us exactly why they're single. It may not be obvious to them but I'm sure us women see it.

[@theresaanderson1811]

I thought I was the only one seeing all the bullshit they was speaking 😂😂😂

[@jayajaya788]

Yes...That they are immature and CHEAP!!!

[@AnArchaicSoul]

1000% Lol These are the red flags women should learn to pick up on and keep it moving.

[@kimberlyturner820]

Yep. 👀 They boys.

[@shonb989]

Listen...I was with stripe shirt dude when he said "all chicks look the same and ppl not real anymore...I feel you! HOWEVER!! If they old and single it must be a problem...had to be the craziest statement. And 35 is not old sweetie🤦🏾‍♀️

[@SDP6666]

He does have a point about they all look the same, but I guarantee if you put all of these men in a room and you had a bunch of Cardi B/Meg the Stallion types and a hand full of "round the way girls" there would be lined up for the fake asses and the other would be talking among themselves. They say they want something different, but they all gravitate towards the same type.

[@veelarea]

@@SDP6666 WHEW. This is the truth

[@cynpam4543]

He 22. He hasn't " lived "

[@olorunyomifola-oyetayo8017]

I don't care whether you're old fashioned or modern, feminist or a 'real' gentleman (not that one opposes the other), courtesy demands that when you take someone out, you pay the bill, if they initiate the action then vice versa and this holds true for everybody male and female.

[@LexVanguard]

Interesting... I’m 32 and single and don’t feel AT ALL like something is wrong with me. I’ve made an active choice to spend time focusing on loving myself more and growing in the ways I felt I needed to. I’ve also been seeking a quality partner who is intellectually on my level. To assume someone has problems because they haven’t given in to societal pressure and rushed into a relationship... is blasphemous. And as far as splitting a check.... my darlings, do we no longer understand the meaning and purpose of courtship???? 🤔 Men want women’s privileges SO BAD!! It’s shameful! Trust and believe that if I have to pay for my food my own self, I will be having dinner with MY OWN SELF. Like... what do I need you here for then?!?! You can exit stage left. ✌🏽

[@luvlyone9]

Okurrr!!!! Periods!!!!! High Five Sis

[@DogsLifeWithMilo_Todo]

You aren’t 35 yet.

[@LexVanguard]

@@DogsLifeWithMilo_Todo What do you mean by that?

[@DogsLifeWithMilo_Todo]

@@LexVanguard I was kidding

[@LexVanguard]

@Infinity 369 lol thanks!

[@ClaireHaire]

Next panel can we get some men who finished breastfeeding? I just don’t know why they would have 20-somethings men who are no where near commitment mindset comment on this. Is that Davichi from All American ?

[@taybee4653]

Yeah that is him!

[@kimberlyturner820]

Lol! Not the finished breastfeeding! 😁😁😁

[@TheCRYSTALLURE]

Yooooo🤣🤣🤣☠️😭🤣🤣 “finished breastfeeding” but you’re not wrong!

[@TheCRYSTALLURE]

And yes that’s him!

[@afarongordon]

As a black man I relate to everything that was said in this video. There are great men out here doing the right things and patiently waiting for the right woman of substance.

[@afarongordon]

@@user-mt4fw6sh9e Ha lol I mean a woman that’s a help meat, is able to create an environment of peace, has purpose, works with me and not for me, nurtures our children and understand who she is as a queen in our relationship and marriage.

[@marcusc625]

The women under this video not trying to hear about how relatable this convo is. They’re just triggered and after women get triggered the ability to understand what’s said go out the window.

[@carolyneasley8980]

Lol y'all are cute first off being a "single and older woman" doesn't mean you have issues, it usually means when you see red flags, YOU SEE THEM. Whenever you hear "I'm picky" translation: I'm the shit, judgy and I have unrealistic standards. "The reach" lol back in my day it was unspoken, the gentleman paid, and was proud to do so. Lord I'm old lol. Great video.

[@BlkMagickGaia3]

Young men have ZERO pride in themselves as men. They are becoming more and more feminine energied so they prefer masculine energied women that approach them, ask them out, pay or go Dutch, then go 50/50 on bills . But then complain when those same women are " the man" of the house.

[@carolyneasley8980]

@@BlkMagickGaia3 I can agree. The roles are so blurred or simply nonexistent. The dating generation of the young men in the video is so self absorbed, selfish arrogant they will never experience organic, natural interactions filled with the anticipation and flutters of just "knowing" her or him, that's been replaced with credit scores, zip codes and designer labels. Kinda sad.

[@acharich]

👀 👀 👀

[@essenceoftrina]

I’m a woman over 35 and now find my single because my husband passed at 35 in 2019. I’m now forced into this dating scene to find a quality partner who is God lead that will make me comfortable to come up under his covering and protection. So being single pass 35 isn’t always a bad sign that something is wrong with a woman. Life could have happened and placed her involuntarily in the position of singleness. Plus being over 35, I’m established enough in my life that I’m not needing a man to “take care of me”, but to share life and continue build legacy with me for our children.

[@naniellebluford3767]

It's not for me to judge as I had to learn from my mistakes, but I will express that much growth is needed with most of these young men in order to have healthy relationships. Some of the actions or behaviors spoken on in this session show signs of one-sidedness, manipulation, and limited thinking. I wish you had more of the (married) young man with the dreads speaking. I love that he said he courted his wife, which gave him and her an opportunity to learn each other.

[@ayanomar1408]

check out the other round table video they made. it was so much better

[@naniellebluford3767]

@@jayc5756 yes, you're correct; maturity tends to be at different levels.

[@ceded6543]

They are expressing what they like and dislike when it comes to women and dating. There is nothing wrong or manipulative about that.

[@naniellebluford3767]

@@ceded6543 I never said anything about their likes or dislikes, I said their actions and behaviors.

[@ceded6543]

@@naniellebluford3767 What actions and behaviors from them do you find wrong?

[@nubi688]

This conversation was very interesting and revealing. Thank you Black Love for sharing with Us. Can we see a conversation with men who are in there 40’s and up both single and married?

[@kristycampbell1882]

If I pay for my self on the first date there will NEVER be a second date... I don’t mind leaving the tip but I’d never date a man that didn’t pay for the first date!

[@janetics.]

God where are you? The men you sent to provide and protect us are trying to go half on $2 wells. 😹😹😹😹😹 I love this channel but this video was noooot it.

[@ajordan1847]

Lol, thank you! Whew😥

[@earthsoulyams3344]

I almost typed a paragraph on that comment alone, but then I realized. Why am I going to argue with a dusty? He knows who he is why bother? Next!

[@tracijones4147]

😂

[@Snowboarding2020]

He didn't send men for women.

[@meiyaslaughter4944]

girlll he got some mo in the back.. just hold on 😭😭🤣🤣

[@iamcazkemp]

Very interesting discussion. I am 34, turning 35 this year. I'd rather be single than settle for less.

[@user-kp2rv4rr5n]

"If you go out with me on the brokest date ever, then I'll like you." Boy, bye.

[@pop0944]

I feel like the man should pay for the first date but if a woman really likes them, she should ask him out "her treat" for the next date just to show interest. And he can either except her offer or offer to continue to provide. But for me, as a woman, I usually want my first "dates" to be hang outs where I actually focus on getting to know the person as opposed to being forcused on being wined and dined. I think the women that are seeking true connections don't focus on money as much. The tricky part is men tend to think you're cheap and easy if you dont require them to spend money. Its a double-edged sword because most ppl are brainwashed by societal expectations.

[@anik8204]

Sad that many young men today expect a woman to pay on a first date or at least “reach” for the bill. While I agree women should not expect men to pay for their needs I feel traditional male values speak plenty about a man. No decent grown man ever asks a woman to split the bill.

[@Meet_meeks]

I’m so glad he somewhat corrected the youngin about misconceptions of older women. I’ve been single for a hot min. I’m educated (masters degree and MD), with no children, not previously married, and I refuse to believe that the reason why I’m single is because something is inherently wrong with me. I’ve been in school/training for many years and sacrificed a lot during that time. Some people get married young while others may get married at an older age. Let’s stop labeling people has weird or crazy for not being married. We all have different paths!

[@TCCHEALING]

This is why so many women choose to be single.

[@nikamoff5835]

Trust, communication & Faith that was a very good & mature answer!!!! The other guys jokingly commented “you sure you not married”. Maturity brings about wisdom at any age. Some 20 year olds have this kind of wisdom. WE grow & we learn❤️Keep having these conversations black men I love it!!!💯💯💯💯

[@Acosta1774]

The men at this table have no clue smh. As far as the married one, since when did the fact that you are married equals you know what you talking about. Some people marry other people that have low expectations, it definitely didn’t mean you were ready or know what you are talking about ($2 drinks and half off) she should have run the other way) A dinner does not cost that much fellas. It’s not like you are buying the woman ring, a house or Louis Vuitton on the first date. She should be worth at least a dinner!

[@ricwill85]

I think yall should have picked 1-2 topics and delved deeper into to understand why you feel or think the way you do. All over the place & learned nothing except they dont know what they want🤦🏾‍♀️

[@autiran.4111]

Splitting the bill IS problem, especially if you ask her out. Dating doesn't have to be a financial expense. One can go out and have fun and enjoy non-expensive dates. What these men do not take into account is just as your size up women, they do the same in noticing how you can either provide or lead. A guy needs to discern who he courts and who he dates, versus just go out, and needs to set the tempo for how casual the encounters will be. That dictates who pays and the expectations. These episodes need to come with a published location, age, and marital status bar.

[@shaniyagreen9644]

I’m 40 second in and this man said women aren’t that interesting ... I can’t imagine where this is going. BRB 😂😂

[@michelleray9143]

They are young and not mature... Sigh.. So sad.

[@sherry2250]

Hey, what's wrong with an older woman who's still single, never married 🙄? I'll be 47 March 23rd and I love my freedom and solitude 😄🤭😁. Even though I like my singlehood, it doesn't mean I don't desire the right male companionship leading to my bf leading to my husband 😁😄

[@BeautyByBrigitte]

If you ask a woman on a date you should pay for the meal 🥘 I like the Old School Method.... What is wrong with these Modern day men lol 😂

[@orvillemcpherson6417]

To be honest, a man should pay for the date regardless of who is asking. Standards have to be raised.

[@BeautyByBrigitte]

@@orvillemcpherson6417 A woman should not even consider to fix her mouth to ask a man out on a date she needs to erase that mentality immediately!!!

[@orvillemcpherson6417]

@@BeautyByBrigitte I agree wholeheartedly with what you said. Women have to realize that they are the prize. When they realize this, women will be surprised at the quality of men that they attract.

[@BeautyByBrigitte]

@@orvillemcpherson6417 Agree 💯

[@BlkMagickGaia3]

Many are raised by single mothers and saw her as " The man of the house", so they have no idea as to how to be a true ALPHA man.

[@taleasanders9650]

If she’s on the date 9/10 she’s interested 🙄

[@toniilive7]

Exactly

[@Selflovematters4life]

Intersted in what though. Let's be honest, not everyone has good intentions.

[@taleasanders9650]

@@Selflovematters4life Hopefully interested in the person who invited them on the date. If that person intention doesn’t seem genuine he should sense it...but some guys aren’t good with that🤷🏽‍♀️

[@tiki2905]

There’s no time limit on when you find love. Do not set love goals because things do not work out according to how you want. Be patient and love will happen naturally. Make sure you have compatibility, communication and commitment.

[@Selflovematters4life]

If I met someone through a dating app, i was absolutely ok with meeting someone for coffee. Its all about intention. The goal was to initially see if there was connection and chemistry offline. If its not there, Im gonna be polite then I'm out.

[@mpst8n944]

This Da'Vinchi doesn't seem like he's here's to learn/ get insight- May just be youth & immaturity showing.

[@4islandbeauty]

I thank God I dated mature men in my 20s as I can't relate to some of these mens ideals of relationships, seems far fetched and immature imo. I appreciate these mens input but overall the insight of the married man was profound and the basis of what I seek in my partner. Lastly the 22 yr old seems like he's jaded when it comes to the opposite sex, unfortunately there are men twice his age who carry these same ideals and have no clue.

[@estellep1391]

Sometimes it’s the environment too that has us seeing the same type of people

[@aeriel4972]

I wish they would let the married men talk more.

[@Alexandra-nv3pf]

Yes

[@CassTheMuse]

1. 35 & single.. there’s something wrong with her 2. I don’t mind if she splits the bill on the first date 3. Paying for dinner is ‘tricking’. 4. First date is at the crib Who’s mans is theseeeeeeeee ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?!??!?!?!

[@shantakoa8596]

We older and single by choice. I’m 42 never married. God does not want me to settle and I won’t. 🤷🏽‍♀️my kids are raised now it’s all about me

[@exclusive_mack5238]

Lies😂😂😂

[@BeautyGraphicDesigner]

Uh, I'm 34 and turning 35 in literally 6 months from today. Instead of assuming there's something wrong with some of us perhaps there's something right with some of us. And to be frank, if I wanted to be in a relationship I could be in one in 2.5 secs. However, I'd rather commit to a grown man of quality and character than settle for less so until I come across that, then single is what I'll be! lol

[@angel70678]

Haha I’m not reaching for nothing! 🤣🤣🤣

[@mel.alisha2992]

A date is a date regardless of the price. It’s all about figuring out if you vibe. A man who wants to split the bill wants a roommate and not a partner in my opinion. If a man doesn’t want to spend a lot of money then we can hang at the park or something but if you expect me to go half then I’m assuming you want a 50/50 relationship (roommate vibes). I’m very traditional when it comes to gender roles. Honestly I can tell if we vibe over the phone so if we go in a date then we have established that we are interested in each other. (When I was dating, currently engaged and he would never expect me to pay for anything)

[@derrickmason7457]

I’m with you sis but I will say there are women who just wana use a man too.. string him a long a few dates the independent woman moment is killing chivalry would I teach my son to pay for the first date yes but it’s diffrent out here.. I don’t think 50/50 is horrible I’m married and we both do for each other

[@mel.alisha2992]

@@derrickmason7457 Hey! I agree with you and yes I do for my man as well. I think 50/50 has become the standard and men/women are losing what it really means to be in their natural energy. My man feels like he’s fulfilling his role when he’s able to provide for us. I feel fulfilled when I help him with his business ideas, cooking his favorite meals and just being a women.

[@derrickmason7457]

@@mel.alisha2992 natural energy I’ll take that agreed

[@nubi688]

Derrick Mason Hi Derrick, I hear and see where you are coming from. Let us take society out of it and just be a woman and a man. Why is it necessary to let society have a say? We can both be honest, is it not me and you at the table or face to face? Another point, I believe it should be 100% from a woman and 100% from a man 100/100 because ask your self who are you saving the other 50% for? Just my thoughts.

[@derrickmason7457]

@@nubi688 I agree with what your saying I don’t like that society dictates it really shouldn’t it’s between that man and woman agreed. But society has always had a pull because the majority always tends to sway what’s for the most part a unified opinion in expectation from what a man wants and what a woman wants. I agree 100/100. I married it’s a team Effort some nights I cook some nights she cooks some nights I work late some nights she does. It’s all about what works for that relationship. Not distinctively telling a man he has to pay all the bills and a woman has to do all the cooking and cleaning I do believe certain stigmas should be just what 2 ppl do to make the dream work like in the old days. It wasn’t about status today more than ever it is

[@bxshanna83]

This is entertaining. I always do the reach because I don't want to assume they gonna pay. Also never go on a date you can't afford.

[@toniilive7]

Exactly I'm not reaching but if you don't pay ima pay and leaves you thought. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

[@AsiaT97]

All their perspectives are an ABSOLUTE NO for me. I can’t get with this. And men wonder why women are single. It seems like men don’t want to be men any more. Don’t expect a SPECIFIC type of woman if you are NOT a SPECIFIC type of man. It’s that simple. Period.😘

[@craigslistreplies3485]

4 out of 5 dudes there are scrubs. I bet they only want a strong independent woman when she can pick up the check 😒

[@sugarkanesugaringspallcsug9879]

How many times are these dude going to say "like"?

[@NyakzOTSD]

The. comment section is filled with women who are butt hurt and upset... When women say No short men, No broke men etc Women clap!! As soon as men say No old women, no fat women, no baby mothers etc etc y'all get upset!! More power to unapologetic men who aren't bending to feminism and are staying focused and sticking their chest out with what they want

[@SDP6666]

We are upset because they said alot of NOTHING!!! None of the men said "no old, no fat, no baby mama's. But you can't say a woman of 35 is old, and you can't judge why she is single!!!

[@NyakzOTSD]

@@SDP6666 yes you can judge why she is single and eitherway who cares.. No man should date a 35 year old seriously unless hes 45+!! I am 30 and I wouldn't date post 26 lol

[@smoothcomplex3759]

@Nyakz ....yeah and what they want is.....other men LOL

[@smoothcomplex3759]

@@NyakzOTSD you don't date past 26 because you know you can't run that game on a woman your age

[@NyakzOTSD]

@@smoothcomplex3759 ok thanks

[@norapeace6526]

I was on a date recently and the guy paid for our dinner and he offered to get frozen yogurt. I hope he didn’t think I was gonna pay for that because I sure as hell just stood there. You OFFERED the frozen yogurt.. it wasn’t my idea 😂

[@SpiritualLifeCoach43]

Number 1. A first date should never ever be at anyone's crib. 2. If you asked a women out on a date, you pay. The man pays. No reach. No games. 50/50 means we just homies. The mentality that a woman pays for dates without being married is ridiculous, foolery. Men need to understand that hanging out and dating is not the same. What I hope men understand is that spiritual woman grow. We elevate a whole lot as we get older, age 18 and age 30 represents many leaps. So be careful who you listen to.

[@sugarkanesugaringspallcsug9879]

You 22 and single so what's your problem lol

[@newmank0217]

Lol right, your dating pool is much larger at that age. His young arrogance reminds me of college and why those guys weren’t worth commitment.

[@anonnona6433]

@@newmank0217 One day he will calm down. Life does that to people 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@TheAntisocialSocialitePodcast]

Men don't come into their prime until late 20s early 30s. To be mature man takes longer that's why they come into their overall prime later.

[@lisacox3750]

@@TheAntisocialSocialitePodcast Exactly. It's always been this way. Women on average are usually married by 26 and men are usually married by 30.

[@TheAntisocialSocialitePodcast]

@@lisacox3750 used to be common knowledge but since women's lib everything is out of order. Women really bought into this notion that men and women are essentially the same and that's why so many women never end up at the altar at all. It's sad really how for humanity has gone from common sense and what worked in the past.

[@KS-rn4co]

This is the insight on what dating is like currently. First date at the crib.. how trusting should a woman be? But I understand he only courted his wife. They were most likely friends first.. 35 dating a 22 year old can he pay her bills? Or ready to be a step father.. they consider a red flag paying for date? IDK but I have come across this mindset more often than none

[@sweetsugar1014]

Oh, I came across this and when I saw these YOUNG Men I thought no use of me watching this mess b/c I'm in my 40"s and I'd rather listen to MORE SEASONED, Intelligent, well versed, older men between ages 45 and 60 b/c they're going to think about life , love, and relationships MUCH MORE DIFFERENTLY!!!

[@Helloellle]

So do you sit and wait until she reaches for the Check before you pay? Those are the games I’m not willing to play. I’m not reaching for a damn thing. Especially if you asked me out, which would have to be the case or we wouldn’t be there in the first place.

[@EarthAngel44-qmcc]

If a guy ask a woman out, why are men these days expecting "a reach" from the woman after you asked her for her time first (obviously showing interest towards her first), I mean like you asked her out, so why would her fake offer or reach to pay even be attractive to any real decent, self assured man; and from the woman's point of view it's just backwards, if she really feel it's necessary to pay, after a man, asked HER OUT, she should request to simply go DUTCH, if she particularly feels the need to "reach for her pocket book" after a meal on the first date. 👛 With that being said, if a man expects a woman to pay for the first date, the question then becomes what else is he expecting her to pay for moving forward???? Where is the intentionality and the pursuit? I noticed dating in 2021the roles and expectations of the sexes have clearly been reversed. I'm glad I'm no longer on the market and happily married.

[@jayajaya788]

Good for you...if this is the way men think today... then I will stay single!!!

[@brasiamitchell7305]

Y’all are looking in the wrong areas. There are young ladies out here that have substance and some, including myself. Y’all stay blessed, the one who is for you is for you.❤️

[@taryntatum3263]

Also, why are the younger ones speaking way more than anyone else? He’s playing games anyway, “The reach?” No mature woman is playing that dumb game sooo he’s missing out on some great women, I’m so sure!

[@kimberlyturner820]

Yep.

[@LD-px7dp]

There's a big difference between a grown man and a grown BOY.

[@naturalswagg1]

They are not ready. All surface topics.

[@noirfit9721]

I hate it when people think that single automatically means something is wrong with you. I’m 26, been married twice 🤦🏽‍♀️, apparently can’t choose a partner that’s faithful and non abusive. I’ve decided to be single by choice because A)I’m now completely happy to be alone even if that’s for forever, I value my peace and not being toyed with and taken for granted and B) rededicating my life to God, myself, my child and my career. I do pray to one day have a happy and lasting marriage but I need some years to undo all the hurt I’ve endured. Specifically I want 10 years alone. And if God never sends someone I’ll be straight. Single is a blessing.

[@mana-uv7cz]

Yeah I don’t think it’s all about choosing yes that’s a part, but overall when I got cheated on the only red flag I could actively see was on time he walked away from a video game we were playing and started doing something else. I asked why did you stop all the sudden? And he esas like oh I just got bored with the game. Other than that we were spending time together often, he cooked for me, and he would call often. I never would have guessed I was choosing a cheater until I found out through his friends.

[@CaraneJ]

Honestly now that I’m older and really took time to work on myself. It’s true. So many women are carbon copies of each other with no personalities. We tend to be so focused on perfecting our appearance we lose focus on actually being of substance. Having an actual personality. Not have self centered conversations. I’m not here to bash women in any shape or form but we are getting so besides ourselves now.

[@marshawright3126]

First dates should not be expensive. Just go for coffee or tea because you're just getting to know each other.

[@PeaceLove77]

That's why you all are single, act like men coffee is not that much really dude's.

[@joannamonique707]

Its not even about gender. You ask, you pay. Thats just how dating works. A woman letting you pay for a date doesnt make her a gold digger. And honestly a gold digger is not hard to spot. You shouldn't need to test people like that to see it. These fools doing too much.

[@lusilevilakati]

Thankyou so much for such conversations. They are really helpful to me, having grown without a father. Thankyou💜

[@Gypsymumma90]

What if your man says hes afraid hes not on your level ? Should I be worry?

[@laynonna]

Yes, that insecurity will build up and he will either outwardly or secretly do things to undermine you and embarrass you (ie. cheating with multiple women just to see if he can). Either he gets therapy or leave him alone.

[@nameless592]

Table full of scrubs and inflated egos

[@anonnona6433]

Like a highschool conversation 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@bluedeveraux186]

😆😆😆😂

[@tylerbitsui1323]

I'm 28 ....an im finally finding myself as a grown man .....an some of the things yall were talking about ....I found my new mindset agreeing on an saying "hell yea"