What My Worst Enemy Taught Me About Gratitude | Jim Enderle | TEDxBismarck

[@tubularvideos]

Jim's story highlights the invisible wounds of war and the long-lasting impact they can have. It's a reminder that the battle these men fight rarely ends on the battlefield.

[@jimenderle5865]

That battle for me continues, even sixteen years later. I still have amends to my loved ones for my maladaptive behaviors and ill temper.

[@marcusatticuslordandrule]

The ability to recognize and draw wisdom from multiple places, regardless of personal feelings towards those sources, is the sign of a strong and noble man. Well done Jim.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your feedback. Now that I think of it, I've found war to magnify the intensity of experiences. Since there were thoughts coming from every angle, and some of the most fundamental beliefs in my life seemed to clash, maybe that opened the door and my mind. It seems like a miracle now.

[@jaxstub]

This talk really emphasizes the universal desire for peace and the longing to break free from the cycles of violence.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for writing that. I belong to the "people are fundamentally good" school of thought. There are so many positive forces drowned by war and other seem to step in their place. Most Iraqis just wanted peace.

[@gemmaatterks]

I love how this talk weaves together personal experience, poetry, and philosophy. It's not just a war story, it's a meditation on human nature and the power of perspective.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you so much for your feedback. I hoped I could somehow relate what a life-changing experience it was for me. Very often, our great lessons come from the most unexpected sources.

[@cindye7916]

Two men filled with gratitude find it impossible to wage war with one another. How beautiful.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you, a gratitude journal is part of my daily morning ritual. It sets the day's tone!

[@briannavantifcampen]

The quotes from Munawwar's poets resonate deeply. They remind us that even in the darkest moments, there's a chance for growth and renewal. That kind of wisdom is timeless.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching this Talk. As I'm now writing a second book that details the letters of Munawwar and another detainee, their letters sent and received, I'm overlapping them with my own letters to loved ones. In one of my letters and theirs, each of us write of being haunted by the last looks of our mothers before leaving for war. That look where we thought they etched our images into their memory as if they'd never see us again. Only in my case did my Mom see me again.

[@IMediumShare]

The quote about how people can see miracles everywhere or see none was like a lightning bolt in terms of understanding how staying grateful is the difference between making it and succumbing.

[@jimenderle5865]

That really is one of the lessons Munawwar taught me. If I practice gratitude for others, even those who challenge or disagree with me, there is a chance for learning from each other.

[@alberteshoeinfine]

"If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?" What a beautiful quote to have found at just the right time. I wish a whole garden for you, Jim.

[@badkarma2005]

Wow, the image of Jim standing over his dying enemy, torn between using a tourniquet or a pistol, is haunting. It's a powerful metaphor for the choices we make in moments of crisis.

[@williammathews1648]

Man, that story hit me hard. When the guy talked about finding peace from the letters of someone he wanted revenge on? It made me realize that gratitude can come from anywhere if you're open to it.

[@jimenderle5865]

That's so true, I couldn't imagine a worse enemy than a person I believed threatened my family. Yet, the way things played out, he turned out to be one of the most impressive men I had ever known. I reveal much of his life story growing up in Iraq in my second book.

[@cagneydd]

wow, the description of the emotionally charged moment between Jim and the man who threatened his family is quite gripping

[@jimenderle5865]

When I read his letters (in the book I'm writing), he describes what passed through his mind the moment he showed me the letter. It's a powerful testimony of the losses suffered by civilians caught in the crossfire.

[@jus-t-s]

Gratitude can give way to generosity and feelings of abundance. When we allow ourselves to truly feel thankful, all the beauty of the world opens up to us in the most poignant way

[@avagrutel]

Wow the description of that mans final moments is incredible. I have no doubt that he genuinely went through all of those emotions

[@donthegiese]

"I didn't want to be seen as the murderer I came to his compound to be." Wow I can't imagine what a mix of emotions that would have been for Jim

[@nathanclendle]

This talk hit me like a ton of bricks. Never thought I'd find myself empathizing with someone who threatened a soldier's family.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thanks for watching. I also never thought for a second that things would have turned out the way they did. Something - fate, God, something, prevented me from doing what I set out to do, which would have led to a lifetime of regret.

[@Osandy___jonesO]

the part about the jericho rose was so poetic. It's crazy how nature can teach us about resilience and hope even in the darkest times. really made me think about how we can bloom after hardship.

[@jimenderle5865]

In my follow-up book, I include as much of the poetry as I read in the letters I received. They're beautiful accounts of people who kept their humanity, even after becoming refugees and losing everything they own.

[@happyamandaryan]

The part about Munawwar losing his whole family to crossfire is heartbreaking. Really puts things in perspective and makes you realize how trauma can drive people to extreme actions.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching. I hoped to bring that point across, that this man I hated and sought to confront had only been imprisoned on the day he witnessed his father being shot and killed in Husaybah, Iraq, and young men were rounded up as suspects supporting the insurgency.

[@bobskillings113]

I think the story of Munawwar humanizes the 'enemy' in a way that challenges the usual stereotypes. It's good to be reminded that behind every conflict there are the individuals caught up in it, each with their own stories, pain and struggles.

[@rubylcharlotte]

Jim's post-war experiences are a stark reminder of the mental and emotional toll that war can take.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching. Even now, the military has a lot of room for improvement on the pre- and post-deployment assessments of war veterans. I was pronounced "cured" more than once.

[@Cheyenne1989]

I think Jims stories really speak to the power of empathy, and how transformative it can be when you allow yourself to be compassionate and understanding, even in the midst of war and conflict.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching this presentation. I'm blessed that something outside of, and more powerful than me interceded.

[@kotakgmasuk]

His initial intentions and the realization of shared humanity is both sobering and thought-provoking.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your thoughts. Many studies back to WWII have revealed that soldiers are reticent to kill another human being, particularly when they are facing one another. At times, infantry units on both sides had to be ordered to lower their aims and actually shoot at the opposing side, the point being we would rather bluff our way through a conflict and hope the other side just flees.

[@busbydean]

The moment of connection between Jim and the man who threatened his family strongly reflects how humanity can transcend even the most hostile circumstances.

[@jimenderle5865]

We can be so different from each other, yet so alike. The letters of these men, overlapping with my own to my family in that same span, shows the impact and emotions of families at war. On all sides.

[@bulldogggg]

It's crazy how he felt empathy for his enemy in such a bad situation. This story really shows how complicated human feelings are and the power of kindness even in war.

[@jimenderle5865]

Until that moment where we were staring into each other's eyes, I believed he would certainly kill me if he had the chance. It stopped me in my tracks when that look revealed an entirely different person that the one I'd perceived before. How many times are we wrong about others, when given a little perspective on who they are?

[@thegreatemilianosantiago]

This is a pretty gnarly insight into what it's like in war zones. I imagine your adrenaline would be so spiked at all times, it makes a lot of sense to have such highly charged emotional exchanges

[@jimenderle5865]

You're so right, When I approached Munawwar that day, we were still under rocket and mortar attacks and often the insurgency would stagger the volleys, hoping troops or medical providers like me would rush to the aid of the injured. So all senses were heightened for that reason. Still, looking into his eyes for that moment, made me forget everything else. I saw a person.

[@rooseveltmartens9918]

The folktale about the tree finding purpose and gratitude even in the face of destruction is a powerful metaphor. It shows that resilience and growth can arise from the most challenging situations.

[@jimenderle5865]

I've written since that because Munawwar (and his mother) loved plants so much, that I can't placed my hands in my garden without thinking of them.

[@talicarson]

I think this talk is a great reminder of how the best ways to grow come from being open and connecting with people. It's so easy to just shut yourself away.

[@jimenderle5865]

One of the largest miracles in my experience was that I'd never felt more shut off and entrenched in my belief. And I realized upon reading his letters, just how wrong I could be.

[@TheAmendIsNow]

I think this just speaks volumes about why veterans struggling with post-war trauma should be met with empathy and understanding. It's the very least we can give them for what they give us

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching and commenting. Sometimes even within the military, it's difficult to provide care for returning veterans. Often they say very little, and maybe trust one person when they do build the nerve to say they need help. When this is rejected in any way, the world may have lost another veteran to suicide.

[@imurdaddyforever]

I think Jim's experiences really show the full importance of accessible mental health resources for veterans. Their mental well-being at all times is just as significant as their physical safety on the battlefield.

[@jimenderle5865]

That's so true. Very often, the return from unit in the field back to one's family is difficult. I believe this is because veterans struggle to see the end of their "mission" and the beginning of their role at home or in a relationship.

[@newcenturyboy]

War is such a complex and heartbreaking reality. I can't imagine how taxing Jim's struggles were for him.

[@jimenderle5865]

They will be with me always. I hope I can share these struggles before it must be experienced by others. If this is true, then I know other have been hurt in the meantime.

[@TackleAxe]

The quotation from Munawwar about struggles being a privilege is truly inspiring.

[@jimenderle5865]

I'm at the end of my first draft of the second book, in which I write in detail of all his letters and as much as I know of his life. So far, I'm overlapping his letters, and those of another suspected militant's letters, with my letters home in that same span of time. I'm hoping to show the shared humanity among us. I'm happy you viewed the presentation!

[@jessicamahmed]

This talk is a great example of how personal stories can bridge gaps and create understanding!

[@jimenderle5865]

I'm so happy you mentioned that, thank you. One of the best things to me was after this Talk, the speakers were mingling with the audience, and two different people came up to me and told their own version of this story. the greatest thing about stories is when they sprout others to share their experience. I hope they were empowered to do so.

[@saajidahlip]

The take home message for me is to be part of the group that sees miracles in everything. To look, and find miracles every day in ordinary things.

[@jimenderle5865]

I've read about people who write a daily gratitude journal and how this has a profound effect on setting the tone for their days. I haven't tried this yet, but I'm like you: I stop throughout every day and see miracles in the smallest things I might not have noticed before. Thank you for your feedback!

[@brooklynnorth9003]

Such an incredible story of how, even in the darkest times, there can still be moments of humanity so powerful they change your whole perspective on life.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching and commenting. Human contact and eye contact can be life-altering and transformative. When I think of it, there are other times this has happened with other people, but none that compare to this.

[@robertlcbranson6834]

his ability to reflect on his enemy’s humanity in the middle of a war zone really blew me away. It just shows how complex and powerful the human spirit is.

[@thevictorfirsov]

This man is truly scary. If these are the things he's comfortable talking about just imagine what the things he won't talk about are like

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your comment. Like many veterans, I've found my way through the arts. For me, writing has been the most therapeutic way of expressing an experience that may help others. So far, the letters in my upcoming book are heartwarming and humane.

[@nolanrylee3993]

I think Jim's experience speaks to the importance of seeking common ground and understanding in order to bridge divides. It's powerful evidence that supports the potential for healing and reconciliation in even the most challenging situations.

[@billywalters5469]

This story raises questions about the ripple effect of our actions. The fact that those letters escaped the burning pit and found their way to him - it adds a whole extra layer of poeticism and beauty

[@jimenderle5865]

That's so true. Once I began reading those letters, I knew I wanted to fade into the background and tell that story to anyone who would hear it. I wanted others to see the suffering caused by war.

[@MatterMonkey]

powerful reminder to choose gratitude, even when the world seems darkest

[@jimenderle5865]

I believe one of the great lessons of their journal entries was that, as people, we always can count on the inherent nature of humanity to survive and advance.

[@pleaseinspiremetoday]

It's fascinating to hear stories that completely shatter preconceived notions. It's like a heartwrenching novel with an ending that leaves you in thought.

[@jimenderle5865]

In Fight, Flight, or Freeze: A Love Story, the story is told of my return from war, believing that militants had my family's address and would come to exact their revenge. I forced my family to leave, thinking they would be safe, and basically barricaded myself for months, waiting for them to storm my home in Connecticut. Over time, after I found and read the letters, I tried to reconcile with my wife and children. The last one-third of the book details Robert's counseling approach. I learned to love Robert.

[@anndibsdale]

We need more of this kind of vulnerable, honest dialogue about war and its aftermath

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you, I worked hard on this Talk with a person who encouraged me to be as honest as possible, without thinking of the reaction. she told me to be as raw and honest as I could be and the listener would find at least the humanity relatable (hopefully).

[@maureenwatters321]

This definitely makes you reflect on the power of empathy and forgiveness.

[@jimenderle5865]

Over the course of reading his letters, one thing I learned was that he had already forgiven me for being a part of the occupation of his country. He had only provoked me in his weakest moment. I'm thankful that I'm not only remembered for my worst moment and have the chance to learn and be better.

[@dreamyboyd4588]

What an incredible moral dilemma this story presents, I can't help but ponder the complexities of life. I am actually in awe.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching and giving your feedback. We really don't know where the great lessons in our lives will come from, so I try to keep my mind open and receptive to how I could possibly be seeing things in a limited way.

[@imgoingplacestoday]

I love that he said “Let’s be part of the second group, you and I.” It’s such a simple but powerful reminder to find miracles in everyday life.

[@realdelilahjones]

The things he said about gratitude and miracles really struck me. It really is all about your perspective, and giving yourself as much of a chance as possible to be in the kind of headspace where you're able to have a positive perspective

[@jimenderle5865]

I've seen this, both in war and marriage, that a person with that experience be able to express a wish for discourse and discussion between and among those who disagree.

[@billconconi]

I think this talk is a very powerful example of how humanity can exist even in the most dire circumstances

[@jimenderle5865]

This is so true, that humanity is there throughout every interaction with others. I try to talk to a person long enough to see they're just another person, doing their best with what they have to work with.

[@austinjay9486]

His struggle with PTSD and trauma should really be paid attention to. I think the mental health concerns of veterans is overlooked way more often than not.

[@jimenderle5865]

Yu have a great point. Although I outlined many steps in achieving a smooth transition, event years after returning from deployment, I'm in the process of a marriage separation 17 years later. The struggle continues long after all the flags are waving, celebrating our heroism.

[@Rant-Diva]

The folktale about the tree and Mother Earth is a powerful metaphor. It makes you ponder the interconnectedness of life, death, and rebirth.

[@jimenderle5865]

What a great thing to identify. When I left for this deployment, I had no idea how much I had to learn about myself and life. I planned on just doing what needed to be done and hopefully surviving. But there were so many lessons and my eventually reunion with my family.

[@someonednamessomeone]

I watched this talk a few weeks ago and it's really stayed with me. I've even looked up the poet that the quote about the sea is from and it's given me an amazing new appreciation for middle eastern culture.

[@jimenderle5865]

In the second book I'm writing now, included are many more quotes, mostly from Nizar Qabbani, Rumi, and Mahmoud Darwish. Arabic literature and poetry are very rich and expressive, I hope you enjoy your reading. Thank you for your feedback!

[@suminkim346]

I really admire his honesty about grappling with his complicated emotions and experiences. I think it speaks to the fact that healing is often a journey and a process and both of them take time.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for responding. I've found it difficult to find a counselor with an idea of how to approach this situation. But this, to me, is a common problem with returning veterans. This basically boils down to typically a man, like me, returning to his wife or family, and trying to explain something that doesn't have a proper set of words.

[@valeriedijkstra]

Yes, gratitude is so powerful and the more we engage in it the more things we find we have to be grateful for

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you, Munawwar's gratitude and curiosity had such an endearing quality, I felt honored and fortunate to have obtained his writings.

[@kanyakonsrimanopanithan]

Even our enemies can be powerful teachers if we are willing to learn

[@lostnlonely669]

These really pulled at all my emotions. Humans are such complex, multi-faceted people.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching, it's so true that humans are so complex. I'm grateful we have the ability to reflect on what has happened. I wonder if this has happened with other people. I often, over a period of time, find myself fonder of my experiences and remember mostly the best parts. Sometimes this takes a conscious effort though.

[@CaspianJK]

I wonder if Munawwar had any idea how much his words would affect someone on the other side, and how he would feel knowing that they had. The power of connection and understanding is truly profound.

[@bridgettemsanders]

This is a good man, a man who understands his footprint and what it means on this place.

[@jimenderle5865]

Many of the men and women in my unit were really good human beings, deployed to Iraq, but committed to doing their best. It was expressed so often that they wanted to come home feeling that they had made life better there. Refugees like Munawwar and his family are heartbreaking to witness.

[@stewynotthedog]

It's so heart-breaking how difficult the transition back to normal life is. I cant' imagine how traumatized a persons psyche becomes, living in a war zone with "enemies" just around the corner.

[@jimenderle5865]

In "Fight, Flight, or Freeze: A Love Story," I try to describe the undoing of the conditioning we underwent before deploying. In the one year, we learned that sleeping peacefully meant being a liability to those who trusted us. Coming home, I had to learn to restart conversations with my wife and children before our relationships were ruined beyond repair. I'll be thankful forever that they gave me a second chance.

[@piamirra]

Every morning and every night my husband makes a list of things he's grateful for, and I'm grateful that I'm on that list, everytime.

[@jimenderle5865]

I'm sure there are reasons for your inclusions on his list, and his name on yours. My wife and I also keep gratitude journals now. Cindy lost her Mom this past year, but she has seen evidence of her Mom's presence and lessons everywhere, and we both feel it!

[@LivinRight]

I've never considered that having compassion might lead to some kind of personal transformation... I've always seen it as something that you have for others.

[@jimenderle5865]

You are so right in believing that. I also thought it was something extended to others before I deployed to Iraq. Maybe that is my mission, to let others know that compassion can mean so much more.

[@dakjussord821]

The way he managed to find compassion and empathy for his enemy is pretty incredible. I guess a lot of stuff on the surface just fades away when you're watching the final moments of another persons life.

[@jimenderle5865]

There have been studies that killing another living thing is not intuitive to human beings. Soldiers in WWI and WWII had to be threatened with courts-martial to prevent then from shooting over the heads of the enemy. They would rather have bluffed their way out of combat. Farmers, even though they kill animals regularly, have a reverence of those animals they kill. Hunters have reported something known as buck fever after their first kill.

[@johngayton]

I think Munnawar would be feeling so much gratitude to know his memory was being honoured like this.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you, John, I've thought so often that he wrote those words with no visible path in his mind to the world. But they did find their way. I believe now that good does find its way, even if it's to that one person who needs it the most.

[@daphnefish]

I can't imagine the emotional toll of war. Your struggle mirrors the internal battles many face, albeit in different contexts. It's a reminder that we're all fighting something.

[@jimenderle5865]

That is so true. We all are fighting something. I try to consider that when I find myself judging others without thinking, or just reacting.

[@rawirinikau]

I loved that he was open enough to say that he didn’t think much about miracles or gratitude after coming home, but life has a way of making you reflect when you least expect it.

[@prisonermalloy5022]

I'm amazed by how quickly he could go from wanting revenge to being a comfort while the other man lay dying... I imagine emotions are so highly elevated in war zones that it felt natural in the moment but I've certainly never been able to let go of my grudges in this way.

[@jimenderle5865]

There have been studies done since WWII that once an enemy is removed from the battlefield and is no longer a threat, that the human relationship and even a friendship is possible. Americans transporting captive German forces in WWII documented times they shared cigarettes, played chess, and learned each other's languages once they just looked at each other as human beings.

[@CroonGirl]

remarkable how a simple envelope filled with letters had such a profound impact on the narrator's life. it goes to show the power of words and the connections we can form with strangers.

[@jimenderle5865]

Many of his letters, placed next to mine, could have been written by either of us, But war dictates that we oppose each other. That's the most awful aspect of war.

[@isabelledanska]

I can't even imagine the weight of that decision. It's heart-wrenching to be faced with such a dilemma. This story shows the true impact of war on individuals and the choices they're forced to make.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your response. I believe this is why introducing the arts to returning veterans and their support networks - their spouses, significant others, children, parents. etc., has been so effective. Giving those affected by war a chance to express themselves and feel validated and a part of humanity benefits us all.

[@amazingsecretsofus]

I was completely overwhelmed when he said, “Two men filled with gratitude find it impossible to wage war with one another.” That's really deep!! If only more people saw life that way.

[@pizza-addict]

Some TEDs give you food for thought, this one gives food for spirit ❤❤

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your response. I had an extra year to work on this presentation because of the COVID pandemic and it evolved into a better version I believe. I'm thankful I had more time to reflect on my lessons learned from our last deployment.

[@ladyvalli1]

As someone who has never experienced war firsthand, this story opened my eyes to the complexities of human emotions in such situations.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for writing that. I'm among those who believe that reducing the effects of war to veterans and their families, and reducing suicide, it to have more realistic accounts of what really happens in war. Ending the glorification of war is one place to start. I found nothing glamorous about it.

[@therexh]

this whole talk is so captivating... like you know there's some really intense stuff that happens in war zones but the emotional impact of his experiences is really full on.

[@jimenderle5865]

Sometimes there is a separation between what veterans describe of war experience and the perceptions of non-military people's idea of war. I believe veterans often are separated, as I was, from the person they believed they were until they saw combat. there is something so frighteningly personal about war that makes it difficult for those outside that arena to comprehand.

[@camerongdowd]

I've decided to be someone who sees miracles in everything and I'm sharing this to make it a big club.

[@IamtheTechPrincess]

It's really wild what happens once we start realizing we aren't so different to our perceived enemies

[@jimenderle5865]

That's right! I'm 66 and can't count the number of times my impressions were wrong. I try to think again or leave the opportunity to learn I'm wrong about people now and it can be very rewarding.

[@taradjokic867]

I love that despite his hatred for that man he was still so moved by the moment that he wanted to know more about him. That's an exploration of our own humanity that few would have the courage to embark on.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thanks for noting that. I'm still learning lessons, even though this happened in so long ago. When we're open to this, we learn valuable things about ourselves. I see colors more explicitly when I give the world a chance.

[@jonjrarcher]

I think this really challenges us to re-examine our preconceived biases, and to strive for understanding and forgiveness, rather than revenge and bitterness.

[@jimenderle5865]

What a great point!~ We can work toward revenge and bitterness or understanding and forgiveness. Which one of these is better for our spirits? Good question!

[@robertaherron]

Can't deny it, he really found light in pure darkness. That's incredible.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your feedback. Sometimes in those times where we're just snowed under, if we're just able to somehow open our hearts, there are great lessons for us. I discovered this by accident and hope to share this. We have so much to learn from each other when we give others a chance.

[@ashacherian3353]

Well said Munnawar. See miracles in everything

[@jimenderle5865]

I now believe we're surrounded by miracles daily and make a practice of looking for them in the most routine things. Thank you!

[@erickjans]

I think people forget that gratitude isn't about ignoring or denying a negative experience or emotion bur rather it's about finding meaning and purpose despite the challenges we face, and that's why sometimes our gratitude can come from very unlikely sources.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching and writing this. This reminds me of times I try everything I can think of and nothing seems to work, forcing me to open my mind to new ideas or ways of seeing things. Then an idea which I might have thought was preposterous before turns out to be a way to expand and move forward.

[@vivianacorinacabarcaherrera]

Your story is a testament to the strength of humanity. Your journey from anger to empathy is remarkable, and it's a reminder that even in the darkest moments, compassion can prevail.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your optimistic comment. Compassion and empathy can overcome so much. I had many people praying for me.

[@alice-jayne]

Remember, finding gratitude in life’s blessings, even amidst the hardest times, is a remarkable step toward healing. You're not alone in this journey.

[@jimenderle5865]

It is a comfort to know I'm not alone. I hoped that by sharing this, the human tendency to multiply kindness and resilience is passed on to others. When we're able to see something salvageable in each situation, it's passed on, even without a word, to those around us. At least that's what I believe.

[@kasperean]

The theme of gratitude resonates deeply... It serves as a reminder to appreciate the blessings we have, regardless of our circumstances. This story has definitely made me reevaluate my own perspective and the things I'm grateful for.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for writing of your gratitude. Each time I feel fortunate or hear this in others after this story, I feel Munawwar lives on. He was not a militant.

[@aubreyzwayse]

I can't begin to imagine being put in a position like that. The bravery and empathy and then having to go back to where this is space to process, nor support.

[@jimenderle5865]

At least for me, this experience became a defining part of my life. I'm now writing a book about all of his letters and those of another young man who died with him that day, and all their correspondence, I hope that by bringing their thoughts and lives to light, people who might never encounter them otherwise would feel their shared humanity.

[@nicopetey]

This brought tears to my eyes. War leaves scars on both sides, and your journey shows the capacity for empathy even in the most challenging circumstances.

[@jimenderle5865]

Now that I've seen the body language of refugees and families in Iraq, a country at war and under sanctions, I felt I'd never be the same. When I returned, I've seen a different kind of struggle with those deployed and the ripple effects extending to their families. I've written this before, but the effects of any war outlive all of us. The number of suicides of veterans is horrific, but not reported are suicides among military spouses and dependents.

[@AlienCruise]

This talk's got me questioning everything I thought I knew about enemies and forgiveness. It's easy to dehumanize the "other side" but hearing about Munawwar's letters... man, that hits different.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watching. Many of the views I express here are things I'd never considered before. There is so much to learn and so many perspectives.

[@mystermix]

This is a great reminder of how compassion and empathy can transcend even the most dire of circumstances once you acknowledge that underneath everything we're all just people trying to put meaning into our little lives

[@jimenderle5865]

This is so true. I notice that very often, it's easy to take an action personally, before thinking about it and realizing I'm not the center of others' lives. And I've learned to be mindful of others and how what I do or how I act affects them, even unintentionally.

[@IAmTheRealSeeker]

"If your heart is a volcano how can you expect flowers to bloom" man this took me OUT

[@jimenderle5865]

I know, those were the first words of the first letter of Munawwar's that I read. He had dozens of them that I recount in the book I'm working on now.

[@dodgersfanextreme]

The way this story unfolds makes you question your own capacity for empathy and the potential for change in the world. It's a lot to take in.

[@jimenderle5865]

That's a good point. I'm grateful to have a story like this. I resisted empathy and believed my violent thoughts were honorable and justified, only to find out my perceptions of Munawwar were incorrect.

[@BrainDrainBabe]

Finding hope in tough times can be inspiring for other people to see but damn it's hard to do. Harder than staying calm when everything around you is getting crazy

[@jimenderle5865]

You're so right about that. I've felt inspired even by people who try for all they're worth and fail. Just in the process of trying in the most human way, we can learn from each other. I think remember each time I've witnessed this in others, and yet, something would keep them going.

[@abradisme]

Man I can't imagine all of the things Jim has seen and endured. What a life.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your feedback. While I was in the military I had a job, going to homes for the elderly to take x-rays. It never ceases to amaze me when I listen to others how much there is to learn. Some others have commented on this, but some great lessons often come from the most unlikeliest places, and I've been grateful every time. I'm happy if I've provided a lesson, I feel like I've given just a little back next to what I've received.

[@jacquelinehogan3313]

There is such an amazing juxtaposition of fear and compassion in this story. I found it incredibly moving, thank you.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your feedback. I had little intention of being compassionate with Munawwar, but now I feel that understanding him is part of a journey I must share with the world. I learned he was a good a redeemable human being.

[@jessTcarter]

This made me pause and think about the little things I take for granted. Munawwar's perspective is a wake-up call to appreciate the miracles in our own lives.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for watch this Talk. Especially when I read about Munawwar's loss and how he strove for reconciliation and resisted becoming a combatant himself. I saw he had a character I could learn from. I was not able to do that, I believed violence was justified to protect my family, even if this meant war continued unabated.

[@thesebrokendreams]

This man is the exception to what happens with people who return from war zones

[@jimenderle5865]

In my time in the service, I'd worked with thirteen military members who've committed suicide. I was on that path, until a miracle occurred. I didn't understand why, but believe that maybe this will give at least one person hope in their darkest hour.

[@gabriellehalette]

We've all experienced times when are heads are looking for a gentle place to find rest and some of us have found a Robert of our own.

[@jimenderle5865]

I pray this is true, because these people become witnesses to what's possible when we open our hearts. Thank you for responding!

[@SmartThrill]

It's amazing how a single encounter can challenge our perceptions and change our lives forever.

[@jimenderle5865]

It is so incredible. I've been fortunate many times over, and this experience was one of the most impactful things I've ever been through.

[@erikashik]

Jim has such a quiet intensity I'm 100% unsurprised by all his stories

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your feedback. Because of the pandemic, I had an extra year to work on this Talk, so I had almost a year and a half to keep working on it. I was so grateful that I had a clear mind that day.

[@westondevelopment]

This story left me reflecting on the choices we make and the impact they have on others. It's a reminder to approach every decision with empathy and to consider the far-reaching consequences

[@jimenderle5865]

I came across this only after everything else failed, but seeing humanity in others was the beginning of a healing process for me. Thank you for watching.

[@chantallapierre6082]

Beautiful. It’s like a poem. The poem of life and gratitude. Thank you Jim.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you, Chantal, I hoped to match the beauty of Munawwar's words.

[@janetsplace1953]

yes it is

[@bigthinking1715]

The concept of gratitude requiring "fortitude and stamina" is fascinating. Seeing it as not just being thankful for the good stuff but finding value in the struggle is a real next-level mindset.

[@suonituo]

Munawwar's insights are profound. His understanding of gratitude and courage is a lesson for us all. It's amazing how wisdom can be found in unexpected places.

[@jimenderle5865]

Amazingly, I've had a number of instances like this in my life, where the one person in the room I didn't expect, came up with something surprisingly profound. Now, I try to listen to everyone.

[@jaineyrosting]

Arabic poetry is so beautiful it's criminal how underrated it is.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for writing that. I couldn't believe how many poets I learned about. It's a beautiful, expressive language!

[@vickycristena]

I can't even begin to imagine the weight of the decisions made in such intense situations. This story really puts things into perspective.

[@jimenderle5865]

Thank you for your feedback. I've learned to question when I identify something as an enemy or a threat. Very often, I find they are just living their lives and it has little to do with me.

[@danthemanishere]

I find it fascinating how this encounter challenged Jims perception of the enemy.

[@jimenderle5865]

I'm writing a second book now that delves into the letters of two men who died that day. One of the recurring themes is the power of looking into the eyes of other human beings. Something changed in both of us as we looked at each other.

[@jackanslow]

This does a lot to highlight the importance of understanding and empathy, even towards perceived enemies. I've seen it often, the way people will shut themselves off and become hostile to someone they've had a minor disagreement with and it always ends up escalating

[@jimenderle5865]

Thanks for pointing that out. I've done this myself, finding myself ready to fight over something, only to find later that both sides had more in common than we thought. I try to rule that out first, and other contingencies, before preparing for a more intense struggle.

[@jackanslow]

@@jimenderle5865 I get what you mean. I think mindset plays a huge part, so what you said about empathy and understanding is so important to take on