What Nonsense Theories Did You Have As A Kid?

[@stephenhoward4402]

When I was little and still a Christian boy, I believed that Heaven was literally in the sky and Hell was literally underground, so every planet and moon in the universe surely had their own heavens and hells. My Grandpa also convinced me that his Buick could fly, but that the wings were broken and he had yet to get around to getting them fixed.

[@paige_iaconelli3034]

I thought that when my bath water was let out, crabs and lobsters would come out of the drain and come try to kill me

[@totoro5913]

I fully believed that everyone could just decide to go to space. My parents thought I was joking when I said I wanted to make my stroller into a rocket ship. I learned a sad lesson that day

[@theartistformerlyknownasgr4154]

I convinced myself that there were tiny velociraptors who lived under my bed and were monitoring me with their tiny computers. But they could only do it when my eyes were closed, so if I wanted to change position, I had to do it with my eyes open

[@make-believe]

One day my 5 year old son asked, "Dad, does the Easter Bunny's wife lay eggs?" He was so serious.

[@djdomain]

When I was a kid I noticed that some kids looked a bit 'ratty', and I thought that there was a line of people that evolved from rats just like we evolved from primates. Then I learned about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Crack Babies, and I think having rats as ancestors would have been kinder.

[@Kayenne54]

I used to think that there was good in all people. Since learnt that if there isn't much in them, then they cannot see any in me either. In other words, we judge others as ourselves.

[@BackUpTerry931]

I thought the world was black and white just like TV was before I was born. I assumed reality had no color. My parents got a nice laugh when I asked them what the world looked like as it started to turn into color. 😆

[@lawjones2177]

My daughter told me she thought the reason you don't flush the toilet when someone else is in the shower is because the pee will come out of the shower head and thats why they scream !

[@DyslexicGamer]

I used to think people were hollow and food and water just filled up in their bodies. And yet I still knew what intestines were until one day finally it clicked

[@MushroomHedgehog]

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to watch a lot of cartoons growing up. So on the rare occasion I saw the 80s version of the TMNT, I thought Master Splinter was a wolf. In my defense, I never got a good look at his tail.

[@momyorba5536]

My grandparents were very against any words spoken in frustration or anger. Even the word shoot was bad. One time I heard my grandpa turn his head to the side away from me and say aw shoot! I thought I was being very naughty by hiding behind his recliner, turning my head to the side and saying aw shoot. I totally thought the head turn was part of the bad thing I shouldn’t do!

[@kendoruslink7017]

I thought certain people just came into existence and were never born as babies like my parents.

[@fjLKA]

When I was about five, I believed that the Medieval period never happened). I believed it was an invented fantasy, like Star Wars. Later, I believed that the dawn of human history was the American pioneer days, because I read a kids book about history that began with a picture of American pioneers riding wagons across the frontier...therefore, that must be where human history began. It was only when I saw the movie A Kid in King Arthur's Court (about a boy going back in time) that I realized "hey...the Medieval Times were real".

[@-WarCriminal-22]

Mine was that women actually can love like a man could. No, no they can't. Their feelings are like that of a pond - frequent, but nowhere as deep as the ocean. 2:10 and I was doing similar thing at the age of 4 when I was telling parents that "I came from planet Pluto" and they're not my real parents. They told me later that I said my mission in this world was to "bring love (or happiness?) to this world" or smth like that😅 Kinda failed there, not gonna lie. Sorry guys😂

[@TheKhfan001]

So many cringe Bermuda Triangle theories. [Insert conspiracy theory gif from Always Sunny]

[@EmnM2010]

My parents never had "the talk" with me, but rather just answered any question I had at any time in an age appropriate way. Probably from the time I was 5. I must have been about 9 when we talked about eggs being in the mommy and sperm being in the daddy, and they combine to make a baby - not the mechanics, just the vocabulary at this point. I proceeded to spend the next 2 years assuming that if the mommy and daddy slept naked in the same bed (cuz that's smex, isn't it?) the eggs and sperm would come out their butts and seek each other out like bacteria in a petri dish, and the resulting blob would use its newfound intelligence to slop its way back up the mommy's butt to grow into a baby. I should have asked more questions, but that mental image was very upsetting, and I didn't want to know ANYTHING more about it. I was impossibly relieved when I stumbled across an actual diagram in a "Why Am I So Hairy?" type book. 🫠