What's the smartest thing you've ever seen someone do during a D&D campaign? #3 (r/askreddit)

[@kellyrants7673]

*The Ivory Elephant is now banned in all future campaigns.*

[@williamgeorge3111]

Ghost pirate player: *rolls a 100* Ghost pirate ship *He's a pirate intensifies*

[@cryofist]

"the king and his men stole the queen from her bed" *bbeg* "why do i hear boss music?"

[@williamgeorge3111]

@I see it like this I feel like sorry, haven't played monkey island.

[@adamnakamura8003]

In order (Pirate of the Caribbean playing in the background) “That’s got to be the best pirate I’ve ever seen.” “So it would seem...” 11:34

[@adamnakamura8003]

@cryofist Fun Fact: That meme originated in Sea of Thieves. Everyone has the pirate memes.

[@ActuallyDeath]

I still hate Davy, do you know how much paperwork he caused by not doing the job he was supposed to do?

[@DrJekyll51]

The ghost pirate story is my favorite

[@an0nym0u5p3r5on]

Indeed. I listened to it during the text-to-speech times and loved it. Hearing Dave read it normally gave me goosebumps. Beautiful story.

[@DrJekyll51]

@@an0nym0u5p3r5on agreed, the TTS version was good, but this version is even better

[@hunterchewning6725]

That is an epic moment that is once-in-a-lifetime lol.

[@algotkristoffersson15]

Why did they roll 2 d10s instead of a real D100

[@russdarracott395]

Agreed!!!!!!!!!

[@cosmit4250]

The one with the barbarian and the illusion that is smart but mostly good roleplaying so for a new player well done

[@ponocni1]

You dont need autodefenestrate when you got Peasants in Prague to help you with it.

[@gazelle_diamond9768]

Ah, a man of culture I see.

[@alessm2206]

YES I was hoping someone had this same thought!

[@BusterBuizel]

One of my players rolled a 1 out of a D100 to dodge a bite attack from a Bee Rex. Instead of instantly dying, he rolled agility to jump *into* the mouth of the Rex. He got a natural 100 and took no damage as he slid down its throat fully intact. Another party member managed to wound the Rex enough to get the Dino to puke him out unharmed. It was really genius turning a critical fail into an epic win Edit: Yes, that is a T-Rex mixed with a fucking bee. That was the most epic fight I ever DM’d

[@tedpowles7819]

I sincerely hope you didn't mean T-Rex. The image of a Bee Rex is wondrous.

[@TheeOK1]

Omfg is this a thing?

[@BusterBuizel]

Ted Powles I MEANT IT... AND IT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS

[@satibel]

@@BusterBuizel Imagine the honey empire you could build with one of those. also, if lucky, the player was covered in honey instead of bile.

[@Attaxalotl]

I run a Metalgear inspired campaign. One of my favorite homebrew enemies is an HEAT-Rex. HEAT stands for High Explosive Anti Tank. It's a normal T-rex, that the enemies buffed with nanites and equipped with saddle-mounted rocket launchers.

[@BlackRainRising]

Enemy: "Behold our mighty army, you will fall before us!" Allies: "bruh, we got Loki, Dionysus, Aphrodite, and Priapus over here" Enemy: "gg guys looks like a frat house party instead"

[@thehellhound8582]

Why the fuck is Loki among the greeks. Also I would like to point out that you chose very bad party guests, as Loki will probably stoke the fires and insult everyone and their mothers. Aphrodite on the other hand is gonna be that friend who thinks that they're excellent match makers and if her OTP's don't work out she'll most likely throw a fit and punish everyone, if her OTP's do work out however it will most likely start at least one war, also if she deems she's not getting enough attention or Zeus forbid someone gets more attention then her, she will haunt everyone's nightmares till they die and in some cases after. Dionysus is a nice dude, but his cult dismembers people for fun so in his case blood and wine flow in equal measures. Priapus, to put it simple, having a band of a trickster who will make tempers flare up and deceive and control people, with an obsessive and gullible goddess of beauty and sometimes war and a guy who's always drunk, I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH THAT MAKING EVERYONE HORNY WON'T IMPROVE THE SITUATION.

[@marclytle644]

... Priapus... the god of Erections... now I want to play a cleric or paladin of Priapus in a D&D campaign.

[@killereye]

@@marclytle644 Added fun factor: Take an Oath of Celibacy! Your cleric/paladin aren't in the mood to bang...He is just simply himself like that...always, 24/7! XD

[@olasvanstrom1971]

Got a story about first time playing with my nephew for the first time. He was around 8 or 9 years old and I was trying to see if he would get into the game. It was the first adventure for one of the very old versions of dungeons and dragons and he got to a door which in the adventure you were not supposed to get into. The door was locked and in the adventure it said it could not be opened and there was a voice on the other side of the door that said it would not let anyone in. He continued on and not to long after he found a rustmonster that destroyed his metal items to be able to eat them. He then got the brilliant idea that he could make the rustmonster follow him to the room with the door that could not be picked. It came in, saw the lock, destroyed it and ate it and I had to invent what was on the other side. Was so impressed about this since it was his first time and that he was so young.

[@gabrieldonadelli5215]

Your nephew has a bright future

[@pichughost7974]

I hope it was a legendary encounter of the good kind.

[@bluemew22]

My DM actually owns a legitimate d100, a 100-sided, near-spherical die

[@chrisadams1438]

I have one of those too, I save it for the truly special occasions

[@birdie394]

My highest dice was a d30 ; - ;

[@freedemonhugs]

I just got my first d24, d30, and d60 yesterday for my birthday! Still keeping an eye out for that d100...

[@DumboAndGlumbo]

So do I

[@dovakhiinmaster2967]

My DM does too, lol

[@danielbennett5273]

It might not be a big, game-breaking moment, but I was proud of it. Our group of low level adventurers found themselves squaring off against 3 hill giants. My character, a rogue/warlock multiclass had collected venom from a giant spider a few game sessions prior. The GM reasoned that the rogue could venom tip a total of 30 small objects with the venom, but it would have to be injected to work. I coated 15 of my arrows in venom, and then 15 sharpened sticks with the remaining venom. The giants had 3 sheep sitting around as food. I used mage hand to hide the sticks in the sheep (5 in each sheep's wool), hoping that at least one of the giants would eat a sheep and take some small amount of damage in order to give us a better chance. I lucked out and one giant ate a sheep. The giant failed all 5 Con saves and took 10d8 damage. Two rounds and two poisoned tipped arrows later while the group focused on the other giants, I had single handedly dropped one of the giants.

[@ImmortanJill]

Okay - so I have a fun story that happened a few weeks ago. We were at the finale of one of the arcs for my current homebrew 5e campaign. Stakes were high, party was clawing their way to the boss room - complete with magma around the boss battle platform . I knew this battle was going to be tough, but winnable if they played smart. They were up against a Behir and a Basilisk, a real nasty tag team. The Behir was a hard hitter and though the basilisk wasn't as big a threat, the petrifying ability it had could really make this encounter a bad time. So we're in combat and the players are 'ready to do or die, all in let's go; mentality. Our poor cleric was solo facing this Basilisk while the rest focused the Behir. She did her save and it was a relief for that round. I ask her what she wants to do and there's a pause before I hear the cleric's player go "I want to use the Grease spell scroll I found earlier". It was an item she got from a random magic item table roll. I was quiet for a long moment before I start smiling and say "Oh... Shit. Yeah you can absolutely do that." The Basilisk was no match for it and immediately fell over prone, which I made sure to accompany with sad confused monster noises. It was in that moment the Cleric single handedly turned the entire encounter in the party's favor. While they all focused the biggest threat, she stayed in the back monitoring this once-threatening creature. Every time it tried to get up, it just flopped back over. I even rolled a natural one for it so, jokingly, I said it's now starting to just spin in a clockwise motion on its back. I rolled a second nat one, it started spinning faster, and faster. And it stayed like that... for the entire encounter. The Behir was slain and the Basilisk still remained greasy, sadly spinning on its back contemplating its life choices. The cleric eventually kicked the thing into the magma below, ending its misery once and for all. Never doubt the power of the Grease, folks. I gave the cleric inspiration for her ingenuity and for making me laugh for that entire combat. Well played.

[@GravitWry]

So our DM made our Party encounter a Succubus, and tries to seduce our Party, She first tries to Seduce our Level 2 Human Druid (he was new to the campaign starting at level 1 and leveled up to 2) DM: since your new I'll let you do anything before she does anything to you (At that time I'm pretty sure our DM gave him a chance because he didn't want him to do so early on the campaign) Druid: I roll for intimidation Everyone at the table: ... DM: *Sigh* fine but you have to roll a Nat 20 to overcome her charms Druid: *rolls Nat 20* DM now dumbfounded: ok what do you say to her? Druid: *Makes a whole script on how he wants to be on with the earth, screaming that she should too.* ( Pretty sure he just quoted this kzbin.info/www/bejne/gZqZen2Ep6mEpNk ) Succubus: ... *She now becomes part of the Party as a Npc* She had to leave for sometime but at the end of the campaign the Druid and the Succubus lives a happy lives as the next adventure starts with a half succubi and half human and their class is a Druid as their character. That Druid was such a Chad, he somehow got a Succubus as his Girlfriend at level 2 became his Wife at level 15.

[@akisa7865]

Modern problems require modern solutions

[@lukassmith795]

Now that's power XD

[@finnatticus8794]

a tip : watch movies on Flixzone. I've been using it for watching all kinds of movies during the lockdown.

[@thisiscompletelyreta]

The ghost pirate was cool, though odds are at a 1% chance to activate, it would go off when using a power showing off at a bar

[@DioBrando-yk5up]

The neutral cleric was just probably the normal way the Greeks did it back in the days but they got massively high

[@shumatsuplaran7251]

Damn. And the best I've ever done was to cast zone of truth in a pirate bar as a distraction(massive fights broke out rather quickly)

[@deonmurphy6383]

The Defenestration(s) of Prague, worth looking up.

[@notoriousgoblin83]

yep. is gud

[@manowa3395]

Defenestration is the act of throwing someone out of a window. :0 Yes

[@IaeyanElyuex]

I could have gone my whole life without hearing the phrase "laser orgies", but my life is indeed improved having heard it.

[@artofthepossible7329]

#2 Aka, cleric saves the day due to easy conversion methods and being a very good preacher. Even if the preaching happens to be "ANYONE WANT TO GET DRUNK AND HAVE SEX WITH ME?!" Also never underestimate the power of being simple-minded.

[@anthonynorman7545]

And isn't that a religion we can all get behind! 😁

[@artofthepossible7329]

@@anthonynorman7545 Well if you aren't fond of booze (a general requirement to becoming drunk) and/or having sex with strangers then no. However give it a generation and you'll come back to a place where the legal ages (should they actually be defined) for sex and drinks are so low that the players would be quite uncomfortable with even the barest of descriptions and realise that a legitimate side-quest for helping the community is giving an orphan 10 year old a barrel of wine for a birthday party at the local orphanage and they are invited to the party. Wonder if that cleric would feel proud with such a state of affairs? Of course the genocide by alcohol poisoning is also a very likely turn of events by that point in time.

[@ghost3617]

@@anthonynorman7545 no sex and alchohol are gross

[@anthonynorman7545]

@@ghost3617 do you

[@CryptidVulpes]

Your just lovely at parties huh?

[@TheDilbert42]

I was the DM for Out of the Abyss, where my players were attacked by darkmantles. They killed all but one and rolled well enough on Animal Handling checks to keep it in a box. Months later, both in and out of game, they encountered a Medusa. The player with the box asked for the general direction of the creature, ran towards her, and opened the box. The Darkmantle rolled a nat 20 to grapple her head, and was turned to stone. Made that fight real easy.

[@hunterchewning6725]

Oh lol nice.

[@snakeorbreak6258]

The autodefenestrate command was actually illegal, because (emphasis mine) "The spell has no effect if the target is Undead, if it doesn't understand your language, *or if your command is directly harmful to it.* "

[@suedenim]

Rules lawyer: It's not the fall that harms you, it's the sudden stop at the end.

[@deadeyecypher5049]

i mean, technically hurling yourself out of a window is not directly harmful, gravity however is very harmful.

[@MrBlorp-sf9ye]

Yeah, you could do the same thing from the first floor and take zero damage. Or they could have homebrewed the rules for the spell or something. But whatever. I've only started playing D&D two days ago, so I can't really say much here. Says the guy who typed in three long sentences in his first paragraph and a really long extra sentence which is this one.

[@Rippertear]

I'd say that falls to the DM if it's directly vs. indirectly harmful- as others have pointed out, hitting the ground at speed is what causes the damage, not falling, let alone the jumping in and of itself.

[@scottbruckner4653]

You should have stopped at "Doesn't understand your language."

[@lackingcreativevalue]

Strap in. This one's a long boi. So I was in a campaign with a close friend of mine as DM. I was playing an Arcane Trickster Aarakocran Rogue with the feat spell sniper. We got into the campaign, and we came across the BBEG. A lich (keep that in mind). After like 7 sessions I, being the beginner, thought DM-ing seemed like fun, and I started crafting my own campaign. I would frequently ask my DM friend questions relating to me crafting my own campaign. After a few sessions of me learning tricks as a DM, I concocted a plan. I would get a 100lbs cube of metal, which I could carry due to my 19 in strength (gauntlets of orge power FTW), and I learned the spell enlarge. I also occasionally asked questions like "if a character is stealthed and attacks, the target can't react to it by using a reaction skill like monks have, or use counter spell, right?" which my friend would answer "correct". "If a character is stealthed, then they'd have to pass the target's passive perception not to get noticed, right?" "yep." Stuff like that. We encountered the lich outdoors, and my plan was set. I stealthed, which with the cloak of elvenkind, and my ridiculous stealth bonus got me to somewhere about a 26, well above the lich's passive perception. Our DM allowed cocaine into the campaign after a chef in our party went into town looking for spices. If you passed a con. save, the effects of it were as followed: -Double movement speed (counting the dash action, quadruple) -An extra action -Snorting took a BA I coked up pre-fight, and stealthed. The lich appeared, and I flew up 200ft, the max height I could fly, and the max height of falling damage. I flew above the lich, took my 100lbs metal cube, and cast the spell enlarge on it whilst dropping it. The DM was confused. "Ok... The lich uses counter spel-" I remind him the lich can't due to me being stealthed, and site our chat log as a source. He catches on. "Ok, but since it's a normal cube doing bludgeoning falling damage, the lich shrugs it off." "It has become magical via the enlargement, therefore his resistance is null and void." He sighs in pain. "Fine... roll damage..." I chuckled. "May I please add my sneak attack bonus?" (Through clenched teeth) "Fine!!" I ended up doing over 100 damage (23d6 to be exact) to the lich in one action. He found some caveat for the lich to retreat, but the damage was done. To this day it's the smartest thing I've ever done in DnD. TL;DR Through a bunch of planning and questioning, I managed to almost one-shot the BBEG.

[@benthomason3307]

last session, Napoleon Blownapart (real name: Pete Barnum), my con artist feylock, used the spell _Mass Suggestion_ to straight up Nope an entire encounter by telling all the enemies to take a vacation on another continent. It was the one shining moment I had with a character who was built for social encounters in a group that never uses social encounters, which is about as fun as it sounds.

[@oz_jones]

I mean dungeon crawling murderhobo campaigns are fun too.

[@matthewsurdej4643]

5e game, party was trying to stop the production of the BBEG war robots. We learned that not only were the robots built in an extra-planar station, but the original mechs didn't even come from our world. Party fights through the factory, eventually coming to the main control room a little bruised. After some searching of the main mechanic's workbench, we decided to blow the place up. However, that would trigger the final guardian: a 70 foot, towering colossus, brought from the world the mechs had come from. Party: Sorcerer (me), Fighter, Paladin, Warlock, and Rogue Enemy: the Colossus, and 2 adds I start things off with a Prismatic Spray, dealing some decent acid damage to the colossus, whiffing on one add, and starting to turn the other add to stone. Rogue and Warlock attack the other add, while Fighter and Paladin start to tank the colossus. But on its turn, it proceeded to tear through our front lines like tissue paper. Then it came back to my turn. Me: I... Cast Banishment! DM rolled a 14 for the save. The DC was 18 Colossus fades, giving our warlock time to throw a healing potion down the paladin's throat, and our rogue to take out the other add while the first finished turning to stone. We get the fighter up, and proceed to get ready for round two when the spell ends in a minute. After that minute though, the Colossus doesn't come back, banished back to its home world. We never found out what happened to that colossus, but I like to think its now the problem of another adventuring party. On the plus side, my sorcerer got to add "Banisher of the Colossus" to his titles

[@tiantian329]

I might actually steal the “overpowered ability but requires a 100 when rolling 2 d10s” idea that the last DM did. Literally the ultimate clutch moment that leaves everyone stunned.

[@edschramm6757]

I, as the DM had the group winding down a treacherous cliffside path (5 feet across, several hundred feet straight down if you fell). i threw a pack of Harpies, three of which had the charm song. about half the party failed their wisdom check to avoid attempting to get close (harpys specifically say they can force movements that are harmful to the character, but you DO get another save against the song). 3 players failed their throw, and walked off the cliff. a human, an elf (they choked their saving throw) and a minotaur (large size because the player asked for it, so they could add some extra punch to their offense, which i was fine with, he isn't a min-maxer). the party wizard was up immediately after. and he used Wall of Stone to create a bowl off the cliff to catch the falling members. now, i grant it didn't work flawlessly, but it worked pretty well. in my campaign i used an exponential damage table, rather than the standard one, so jumping 300 feet goes from an inconvenience for a barbarian to still definitively lethal. unfortunately, as he had to cast it down a little ways to get all 3, the minotaur had built up some momentum, and with his increased size and weight, managed to punch a hole in the stone wall, and still ended up dead (he would be resurrected shortly thereafter). my group seems oddly bipolar with their ideas. sometimes they have super brilliant moments, and other times a color lock (red+blue=purple, red+yellow=orange, blue+yellow=green) stumble them

[@redstoneraptor8101]

I usually listen to these, so I thought “Dee-on-isus” (Dionysus) was some homebrew god from someone’s mind, but then I realized you meant “Die-oh-nice-us” (Dionysus), and everything made so much more sense.

[@leviputnam5678]

I feel like I've seen most or all of these . . .

[@masacarre]

They are remaking a decent amount of the older ones that were done with text to speech so that could be it.

[@artofthepossible7329]

Or from comments. Maybe you went on the actual reddit page.

[@joe.5103]

@ArtofthePossible That’s why I joined (for support) but don’t go onto the subreddit. I don’t want to see the popular stories before they become videos.

[@StateBlaze1989]

Yeah, pretty sure this is another redo they are doing from the older text to speech videos. I recall these exact stories from them as well.

[@wraithreaper22]

"Die-O-Ny-Sis" not whatever you said lol

[@Startbreak12]

Good to know I wasnt the only one bothered by that 😥

[@ReparationsNation]

Dude... I JUST posted the same thing before I saw this, lol.

[@martint7602]

How do u pronounce it?

[@davemakesnoises]

Got a greek friend named Dionysus and that’s how he pronounces it.

[@Alasius]

What he said is the correct (read "language of origin"/"greek") pronounciation. What you're thinking of is the english pronounciation. English 'mispronounces' most words adapted from other languages, especially scientific words derived from (or actually being) latin/greek are mispronounced.

[@Lheticus]

2:25 Multiple times I would hope! And deservedly so! 3:29 Pretty sure that ought to be pronounced "Die-oh-nice-us."

[@JennyMorash]

Mm, beaver tails. I want to thank everyone involved in this channel, these videos bring me a great deal of joy.

[@DarinObsidian]

One time I was playing a Bronze Dragonborn and the DM ruled that I would have Immunity to the element of my breath weapon instead on just Resistance. One of our first adventures, we were in a big cave system and were in the bottom cavern with a big lake at the center. There was a mystical force that took over our Halfling's mind and drew him into the water. I went in after him as skeletal creatures started to surface and swim towards us. Our other team members were starting to go in after us using ranged attacks, but we were out numbered and the Halfling was still unable to pass a save to regain control of their mind. On top of this, in the middle of the lake the water was getting darker as something BIG started to slowly come closer to the top of the surface, and we would know what it was soon. It was my turn, and I had finally gotten to the Halfling and held my action after telling the rest of our team to "Get. Out. Of. The. Water." Luckily, they listened and before the end of the round I used my held action to attack with my racial breath weapon. As a Bronze Dragonborn, the element is Lightning. The DM stared at me for a solid minute before rolling some dice and deciding that being in the water multiplied the damage. It killed all the skeletons and damaged the big bad enough that he sank back to the depths. This also killed our Halfling, but luckily we were able to bring him back to life later.

[@iamlegend6837]

In DOTMM (Dungeon of the mad mage) we encounterd a flaming scull that could shoot lighning into the copperfilled too he was in to hit everyone with lightning and do like 40 lightning damage a turn causing us to flee. After our ling rest I remember there are rust monsters on the floor above and they eat metal so why not shove one in a bag and release it into the room to eat/rust all the copper. Rudt monster rust the entire room in like 2 rounds and the flaming skull dies, he then starts eating the room and reviels our new magic items our dm gave us for being so clever. This was awsome because my half ork barbarian got the bracers of defence which increases his unarmored defence by +2 which was nice. It let me have like an ac of 17-18 and everyone else got some cool magic item like drift globs, it was grand.

[@329link]

That first one is great. Proof that role playing well has its advantages.

[@LazyVideosGAME]

In my campaign a very simple thing happened. It was unsuccesful, but very cool idea I definitely keep in mind whenever it is going to happen again. They were a group of four in a desert surrounding, when suddenly giant Scorpions came out of the ground and attacked. When they hit with their claw you are automatically grappled. The fighter goes "I want to attack." He hits and he says "Can I use disarming strike?" I knew where this was going and had a huge grin on my face. He wanted to "disarm" the Scorpion in the sense that it lets go of the grappled group members. Unfortunately the scorpions succeeded with flying colours on their saving throws, but it was a great idea and I will definitely keep this as a houserule.

[@robertjaymot3403]

I just finished the Inheritance series so it’s nice to see it in a story

[@lecapitaineigloo7797]

Using mage hand to airdrop homemade bombs all over the battlefield has been my absolute favourite move , that and deafeating a very high level vampire in one round swarming him with zombies filled with wooden spikes and explosives, using control flame to remote detonate them. To every DMs, be carefull to whom in your group you allow to buy a barrel of blackpowder, as things can get very silly with that.

[@spaghetti-man31]

One time I used the cantrip light on the inside of someone’s eyelids to blind him because my character hated killing people

[@DiamondDude-so6dz]

💎shit bro I gotta use that now💎

[@Axileoni]

as a dm the way to counter autodefenestrate is to make the person go to the first floor and hurl themselves from there. Use this power wisely or you'll never hear the end of it from the PCs.

[@tiger22059]

Gnome artificer with an 8 foot robot. The robot was invisible carrying the gnome in a backpack. Every turn I would poke out, shoot some people, poke back in and the robot would move. Was able to stay invisible and unseen until boss fight at the end.

[@CodaBlairLucarioEmperor]

Was the backpack visible?

[@tiger22059]

@@CodaBlairLucarioEmperor No the backpack was invisible.

[@noahsmith3733]

Simple but brilliant. The party was in some mines and they were running from a gelatinous cube that took up the whole hallway. Well the rogue was out front and saw a two large orcs blocking an exit. Well the rogue told the rest of the party to dart down a side hall. I didn’t mention but the rogues character is very short I mean short by halfling standards. Well he spun around and asked if there was any gaps around the cube. I asked for perception and he rolled a 16. There was a tiny gap right at the top. The rogue ran out into the hall and mooned the guards. The guards came charging towards him and when he took the turn he shouted “I’m going for the gap.” Told him to roll acrobatics and got a damn Nat 20 bringing him to thirty. He flew through that gap and landed with a 3 point turn facing the back of the cube to see the orcs turn and get absorbed by the cube. The party continued on with no issues.

[@synashilp]

My players were extorted by a black dragon into a massive amount of gold as payment for not destroying their town. Instead of using the two-week grace period to find some way to pay her, the players gathered all of their allies within the local region, positioned their siege engines to encounter the dragon and her army, and waited. When the dragon came to collect, her kobold army piled by one of the town's entrances. We were using a sort of squad system where, at the beginning of their turn, a player would choose which unit in their squad to command for the round. One of my players used her sorcerer squadmate, who had massive buffs to Enchantment magic, to mind-control the kobold general into sounding the *retreat* instead of the advance. Followed by some well-placed arrows downing the kobold general, the enemy army retreated. When the dragon herself emerged out of the ocean to start wreaking havoc, she didn't get much of a chance as her possible escape routes were quickly sealed off in a 50 v 1 battle. It wasn't exactly a curb stomp, but the dragon only managed to kill a single person before she was brought down by a rain of arrows, ballista bolts, elven curve blades, and magic missiles.

[@ignacioperez5479]

Hi bro. I just ended my work so this video cames like a heaven's blessing. Thanks

[@theexchipmunk]

Gotta love Prague and its century old tradition of throwing people out of windows for giving us that fantastic word.

[@WarChallenger]

Oh my God. OH MY GOD. I have watched this specific video three times and only JUST NOW did I get the Ziltoid the Omniscient album reference in the coffee ad.

[@RuBoo001]

...”Autodefenestrate”.

[@00blaat00]

For all you fans of autodefenestration, check out the games Gunpoint and Heat Signature, both by Tom Francis. Tom takes autodefenestration to a whole new level, then chucks it out the window.

[@venligegraeskar3688]

Last campaign for 3.5e that my group played before switching to 5th. The setting was a story my DM created where the world was nothing but islands floating in the sky. Travel between islands was by airship. We ended up making my character become the pilot for our ship (we ended up becoming robin hood style pirates) but the problem with that was I was role playing a drunken barbarian dwarf. He did a lot of things on impulse. One being one the way back to the main city from an island we were at we came across a massive storm of ion energy. Incoming stupid/brilliant idea. I been previously given a piloting specific ability that allowed me to overdrive the engine making the ship double its speed. We were using a ship that had a movement of 100mph. I looked at the DM and told him I was going to activate overdrive...… and skim the ion storms surface, which doubled the speed again. So because of this we were moving through the air at 400mph. We ended up shooting right through another pirate ship killing them all (our ship was designed like a bullet for the purpose of infiltrating other ships) and I gained a new ability. Ludicrous Speed

[@davidpellecchia4360]

It’s not going to be the smartest thing here but in a home brew 5e campaign we needed to “wake up” a god who (through long story short (about 50 2 hour sessions) locked all gods behind a divine gate that prevented them from interacting with the planes. We came across this temple to the god Guthix (homebrew) where we found an orc lady who was the priestess. We were led to a room where there was a flower patch underground with radiant light pouring in and a flower not yet blossoming in the center. Through a lot of failed convincing, and her telling us to leave and come back in the morning she left to bed. One party memeber our monk touched the flower and was teleported somewhere, our barbarian went to chop the flower with his axe and the axe spilt in to and was set on fire with radiant light. My Wizard was looking through his spell book and (after reading a homebrew spell book that gave me every transmutation spell in the game) cast druidcraft the cantrip to make the flower blossom. Well what happened was the flower blossomed into the most beautiful flower in existence, but was withering in black necrosis. The monk then came back and told us that the flower was the god Guthix and not to mess with it. We all looked at the flower withering and dead as the orc came running down the stairs saying “what have you done” as she eventually faded into dust we teleported out in fear that would happen to us and the moon turned blood red. That was the end of the session and the dm threw out 8 pages of notes. He said he planned out this eventuality in advance but made note that I killed a god and released all other gods with a cantrip meant to help and assist. We share experience points per kill divided up evenly and we each gained around 95k experience (there was a bonus because I 1-shot it) and that’s how I killed a god and shortened our current campaign by 10-12 sessions to 1-2 left

[@bodaciouschad]

That is just the plot of Runescape 3. Tell us more.

[@lukedufresne7866]

“Hello snuggle puff” how to make any one uncomfortable immediately

[@keithsvenson568]

that last one..... ya know... nothing like flying dutchman ex machina randomly occurring. :D

[@GymbalLock]

10:38 rolling 3 zeroes is 1 out of 1000.

[@MrDonut99]

That player must have been waiting a long time for an opportunity to make somebody jump from a window

[@leonoliveira8652]

Barbarian does a BONK

[@SunPraiser1988]

There is one that I didn't do, but I heard about. Someone had a ring of dispel magic that allowed you to set a certain area (the PCs choose the size) of effect where all magic would suddenly stop working. The artifice of the group had the idea to buy 10 cannonballs, have the mage shrink them, load one into a musket, affix the ring to the end, set the range to just inside the ring, and now had a portable naval cannon.

[@RiskierGoose340]

The barbarian play was genius, just ignoring the illusion for the kill.

[@vesper8857]

My entire D&D group listens to your content even the DM. After my very first session they started saying something about mr ripper, I got curious and now I'm addicted ;-;

[@MiBen773]

I used to play Champions online, the video game version of the Champions RPG. That ghost pirate story played out in my mind like in the game, and it was amazing lol

[@Lanoraptor]

I like the reference to Ziltoid the omniscient at the end there.

[@davemakesnoises]

YOU HAVE NOT CONVINCED MIGHTY ZILTOID

[@nullblasterthevoidmaker1750]

Auto defenestrate had me laughing my ass off. Defenestrate is my favorite word.

[@darcraven01]

9:35 theres an mmo based off champions thats super amazing for character creation (champions online)

[@sporkstar1911]

Star Wars saga d20 game - player is a droid similar to r2d2 but built for holographics and recreational stuff, but is actually an "iron knight" which means hes got a force crystal at his heart and actually is alive as far as the force is concerned. This player destroys Darth Infernus who was mainly preserved for thousands of years through sith alchemy binded to an old sith sword (which happened to eat Darth Sidious' soul just before this). Player conducts FORCE SEVER on the badguy and dumps his Destiny into it. He is severed from the force becoming an inanimate sword for 1 day per darkside point, of which Darth Infernus has many, many of. This sword is quickly destroyed by star dumping by Darth Vader who now has turned from the darkside now and become gray, generally thankful of the players' deeds.

[@bjwessels]

Love defenestrate. Wonderful word.

[@charlestaylor652]

Had a campaign where everyone was playing short characters going to college to be bards as a home brew campaign. Not pretty far into the campaign and i introduce a big boss players were supposed to run from but our new player had a idea. The boss had a scythe and she was fast, but this player beat the iniative and cast animate object on her scythe to turn it into a snake like scythe to constrict her throat. This counted as a surprise attack. He then followed it up by disenchanting the animate object where it just sat there strangling her until she died. I was so awestruck i gave them extra exp for a good play.

[@sessy01]

Fear the flying Dutchman.

[@syntax1235]

I legitimately froze, psychology and physically, when he called me a "snuggle puff". I continue to wonder if I am OK.

[@lockwoan01]

Here's a very smart thing from a rather dumb character. (Happened a little over a year ago irl.) D&D 5e. Party has managed to get near to my character's homeland. Background is that the equivalent of Ragnarok is going on, and the party is trying to locate the body parts of a Great Demon Lord to prevent them from being used to destroy the world. One body part (the right arm iirc) is in my character's homeland. One issue is that there is a very pro-human and militant faction in charge of this land - a rather unintended consequence of my guy's attempt to overthrow an unjust king - and this group despises non-humans. Important things to note - there's a series of magical sicknesses in the area, one seeming to be spread initially by infected animals that explode, and another by infected plants (rolling on the ground laughing at other folks getting sick from being covered in exploding rat guts turned out to be a dumb idea for the tiefling rogue, who eventually gets the other one too). Party comes to a polluted river - we knew that swimming was a bad idea. Half-Orc Barbarian has Winged Boots. Problem is, he's one of those who is infected. Flights over the river cause him, and anyone he carries, to make constitution saving throws - hence how tiefling rogue becomes doubly infected. Enter the Dwarf. This dwarf is so unlucky that he has negative modifiers in Wisdom, Intelligence, and Charisma. To be honest, I don't know what his class was, and I doubt the dwarf did himself, but he had an axe, and there was a big tree nearby. He cut down that tree and made a bridge. No need to make Constitution Saving throws anymore, at least for those who weren't already infected.

[@tombkeeper1397]

I REALLY want to get back into d&d!

[@Dguncrazy]

The last story always gets my hyped listened to that 1 before still so fuckn good. Lucky af roles

[@denisevnbrdw]

Laughed out loud in the office about the window story.

[@jamesloiselle9098]

Not d&d, but.... Here's my VtM story and bonus straight-up nerd oc I was playing a werespider pretending to be a vampire and went to feed (fill my blood points). Found a bum in an alley. Dm didn't give me a chance to do a spot check or investigate, just "you start feeding? Ok. You didn't notice there was another party member there who got fucked up offscreen to you, and she instantly goes into bloodfrenzy. Roll initiative" "WAIT!" "What?" "I can see her charging me and recognize its a blood frenzy, right?" "Yeah" "And I have the bum in my clutches ready to feed?" "Yeah, whats the point?" "I shove the bum into her mouth (giggitty)" Dm looks dumbfounded for a split second, then shrugs his shoulders and "roll dex, see if it works" It did. He wasnt a great GM and we (my gf at the time and I) were new players, but that moment made him not an absolute shit dm. A negative point to him was he shot down my OC. I used stats from comparable guns and adjusted accordingly. Its a real gun, and the ammo discussed is real and readily available online and in most gun stores. imgur.com/t/vampire_the_masquerade/E4n49

[@bradleygipson4683]

The command spell is supposed to be wasted if you use a command that forces the target to harm themselves, so they bad guy should not have jumped from the window Edit: because they can’t harm themselves my favourite way to use the command spell is “undress” and they target must take off their armor and clothes, the heavier the armor the longer it takes

[@mrver427]

Jumping out of a window doesn't hurt you though. Hitting the ground does

[@bradleygipson4683]

Mr Ver they are still committing an action that would result in self harm. So the spell should have failed

[@oz_jones]

@@mrver427 as a dm i wouldnt allow it becsuse it was implied that it wasnt ground floor window

[@ninjamonkeytyphoon]

That last one was truly epic

[@Kill3ditGaming]

New guy here. Found out my little brother and his friends got into DnD. They're trying to get me into it to play my first game.

[@fist_lorderino]

Not a D&D campaign but Warhammer. So in our campaign, we played some french peasants that got trapped in a doomed village, near a castle, in a middle of freaking swamps (with freaking leechs and moskitos everywhere, only frogs and mushrooms to eat, etc etc funfun). After investigation and multiples sessions, we found that the local noble was an alchemist who transcended life. He linked his heart to the castle and huges bloody veins start tunneled all around the swamp, looking for blood and life to drain like a leech to sustain itself, corrupting the lands and the minds of its people. We found the heart and destroyed it. Everything went back to normal... For a time. Our PC noblemen herited of the lands as a gift for saving it. So yeah, we get the castle and its lands as reward... That's nice ! 5-6 sessions later, things started to change again around our castle. It was repairing itself during the night, people seemed to be sick again. But our party was clueless because we destroyed the heart. But I came along with a great idea how to find what's going on. Me : "Hey, the veins are gones ?" DM : "No more veins, you destroyed the heart." Me : "This means the tunnels are now clear?" DM : "Yeah" Me : "I went to the local tavern, were i've seens the biggest vein and I take the tunnels to see where it is going." DM : "Ok, stop me. You crawl in that tunnel, one hour... Two hours... But it continues on forever." Me : "I have one week ration and I'm determined to see where this path leads." DM : "hehehehehe....." I stayed quiete for 1 hour and a half without having the right to talk to the others pcs (We like to not break immersion). After 3 days IG, my character finaly makes it and I found a hidden room below the castle and... Guess what I've found ? A second heart ! But different : smaller, weaker and... This one was not corrupted by chaos. It talked to me and said that his soul split during his ascent and we destroyed the bad part of himself. But it could barely sustain itself because it didn't like to hurt its people. So I choosed to help him alone, keeping it secret to the other Pcs. I found ways to feed him (throwing bad people in the castle jails for blood, asking the heart to punish them but not killing them and made alliance with elvish people to get powerful magic gems). After feeding the heart enough and spending time with it so it doesn't feel alone, it became my best friend.... And... My personnal weapon of war and destruction. Yes. The castle became a giant f****** golem 100 ft tall. My party was shocked and the noblemen without a castle anymore. I wasn't allowed to play this character anymore but he continued to exist and sometimes, our DM narred the rumors of the golem keeping the chaos army away from our country. Good times :)

[@stephenstonge7968]

autodefenestrate is possibly the most amazing one word command and something every player should know.

[@pedrolopesdeaquino]

I mean, that barbarian deserves to be the same level as the rest party after that move

[@travestyknightproductions6855]

So, this is something that I did in a level 7 one-shot. The party had been tasked to bring in an iron golem that had gone rogue. I was playing a storm bloodline sorcerer and had a cape that allowed me to fly for my magic item. It was pretty cool, and let me basically take on the golem without being touched in the 30 foot high chamber we had found it in. While that was good, I remembered what the employer had said, and used as few of my spell slots as possible. when the golem was destroyed, I said this to my money hungry team mates: Me: (in character) "So, do you all remember what the dwarf told us about this job?" Barbarian: "He wanted it in one piece, didn't he?" Me: "Close. He said he would *prefer* if it was in one piece, but would still pay us some set amount of gold for each piece." After I said that, I turned to the DM. "I would like to cast shatter on the iron golem's now deactivated form. Repeatedly." So I used up all of my remaining spell slots of second level and third level, turning the golem into basically metal shavings. We became so wealthy from this, each of our one shot characters were able to immediately retire, which my sorcerer used to kickstart his political career. He is now a constant in games I run as a rather major political figure.

[@sacred3645]

that autodefenestrate was a so big brain move im standing while typing wow

[@sandroguzelj1234]

im gonna share a story from my current game ( maybe youll get a kick out of it): i am a fairly new player ( lv5 warlock) and we where sent to retrieve a magical chalice for a wizard. the ruin where the chalice was supposed to be was quite dangerous because immediately after going in we where trapped in a time loop but thats another story. so aftter fighting a horde of undead and a zombie beholder we found the chalice but decided to keep exploring. we eventually made it to a hallway with a few doors on each side with a little branch hanging from each doorframe. whenever we tried to enter a room we would be randomly teleported to a different room in the ruin. so i being a bit too brash decide to grab one of the branches and rip it off. as soon as my character touches it i get teleportet to a weird tower with a platform in the middle. with nothing else to do i tried to reach the platform but was attacked by this weird robot thing that met me with crossbow fire and torrents of flame. thankfully i had the shatter spell..turns out thunder damage is very effective against mechanical foes xD still almost died if it hadnt been for my brave little imp who sacrificed himself by taking a bolt. the dm was pretty impressed that i beat what was a cr4 monster by myself. when i searched the damn thing and rolled an 18 he asked me: if there was a tank with a flamethrower before you what would you take? after that whole ordeal i stepped on the platform and was teleported to a small black room where i could hear the rest of my party talking about what to do. i pushed the button to open a hidden wall as my beaten up, burned tiefling warlock emerged at 1 hp and with a damn flamethrower in my hands .so thats the story of how my lv5 warlock almost died and earned a damn flamethrower...good times xD

[@supernintendosp]

The command "autodefenestrate" makes me think my kid self would have been one one heckuva wizard player. I've since traded a cerebral-heavy life with a heart-filled, witty life. I'd be a magic-leaning warrior class these days-- Dragonborn warlock mayhap?

[@AJeazy]

Once had a young halfling bard convince a female dwarf who was supposed to be a boss that he was her long lost son Ricky. He rolled a nat 20. That was pretty good.

[@CodaBlairLucarioEmperor]

Did he stab her in the back?

[@AJeazy]

@@CodaBlairLucarioEmperor Nope! They got her to travel with them for a little while and help them out a few times. Then the party decided to take it upon themselves to find/save her actual son which they did. They returned to her with her son Ricky and explained everything and she was a little mad the bard lied to her but ultimately happy that they found her son.

[@CodaBlairLucarioEmperor]

@@AJeazy That's a much happier ending than those types of stories tend to have. Most of the time they either end up in betrayal or they abandon the person and that person is devastayed especially when they learn what happened to the actual person.

[@jeremiahlewis410]

Damn, but that last one... That was epic.

[@Kalah_]

Ivory elephant. Genius. :D

[@RealGawdlygamer]

Ngl the opening how are you my little snuggle puff made me smile

[@Bigal3031]

I appreciate the full Canadian also Beavertails are in addition to part of a beaver are also a funnel cake style delicious treat .

[@iaiguana9550]

A dark elf used a genie bottle to have a red dragon be our pet for the rest of the game

[@cosmicwolf9228]

“So he smacked it.”

[@professortrog7742]

That booze-cleric ponzi scheme… brilliant!

[@patrickhalle555]

Brand new player here. Running a pre-campaign battle just to learn mechanics and flesh our characters. We had a cleric who was insistent on peaceful resolutions, a sort of counselor. he wrecked havoc on our party, interfering with our attacks, alerting enemies to move, at one point he inspired us to "just give peace a chance" to go one full round without attacking; only our party was effected as the enemies didn't speak the language. I played a druid and, being unable to attack, i decided to "apport" a large crocodile inspired creature. DM: and where did you send him? Me, staring well above the cleric players head: If you will follow my gaze In a move that became known as CrockDrop, I pinned the cleric under the creature after dropping it 60 ft. I'm sure much of this was illegal, the DM was rather new to the game as well...

[@G4TVMaster2]

Just here for the ziltoid reference 🤣🤣😂🤣😂

[@djtj5778]

Grab a mug and join us with a brew worthy of the praise of the beer gods

[@MrKangaroo123]

*gives all the newbies hugs* welcome to the rip daddy family I am the resident hugger...

[@synergy8879]

we had a little mansion that expanded to its full size that our wizard carried around so we don’t have to sleep outside. fight with a very nasty dragon, so we immobilized it with lucky rolls, wizard chucks it above dragons head, command word and we fucking flatten its head with a palace straight from fucking Rome.

[@WhizzerdSupreme]

Dionysus is the god of theatre, sex, and wine. And that's how we know Tyrion Lannister was born into the wrong universe 🤣

[@Real_Deal_Rob_Solo]

My level 18 Drow Mage in 2nd edition convinced the BBEG to decide the final fight with a game of chess. I wasn't doing so well in the game. The BBEG put me in check, so I cast disintegrate right in his face. Needless to say, he failed his save.

[@directorkrennic9019]

Keep up the good work man

[@oppositeeto]

My friend got a bone from an enemy and shoved it down an enemy’s throat and used mending to make a full skeleton inside their throat

[@MelvinTheWeedWizard]

This took place inside of a madmax-ish setting in 5e, I was playing as the disembodied head of an alien that was placed inside of jar that controlled a 8ft tall mechsuit (we do a lot of homebrew). The gm decided to give us a moaning diamond because he overplayed his hand and put us inside of a temple that we were not supposed to be in until MUCH later. This was taken by our warforged Artificer. Fast forward a couple of session, some goons shot my space ship out of the sky with a rocket with us in it, and we were surrounded by a literal army of bandits. This was supposed to be a capture scenario where the gm would have nerf us because he gave us too many items. Me and the gunslinger were captured, while the necromancer used invisibility given by the artificer to sneak out of the ruined ship the alchemist and artificer were hiding in the ship. When the goons neared the end of looting the ship, the artificer uses the moaning diamond with the two looting goons still inside. For those of you who do not know, the moaning diamond is a major artifact with three charges per day from PF and 3.5 that can reshape as if by the stone shaping spell 5,000 cubic ft of earth and once per day can summon an elder earth elemental. He uses it to bury the ship thousands of feet underground and summons an earth elemental to start to slam all of the bandits into the ground. Gore from the bandits flew into the air and some of them them were buried alive by the elemental. After the two players dealt with the goons they were trapped in the ship with, they started to dig a tunnel of the course of the next few days that was heading towards the mining camp me and the gunslinger fighter were at. The Gm while impressed I think felt discouraged because the next session was a different campaign and we never got back to that one.

[@metalfarmer8151]

I got that Ziltoid reference at the end.

[@killereye]

When the Ivory Elephant crushed the Vampire Lord was it struck instantly to dead for good, or was it forced into Mist Form and returning to it's coffin to rest and regain their body? I would choose the latter...