D&D Players, what's the most screwed up thing you've ever done in a game? #1 (r/askreddit)

[@mentalgaming4life535]

I love how at the start he isn't emotionless he's literally struggling to get out his words and it's a nice pace

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Personally I'm glad people love that style of narration. I know you can't please everyone, but I find it's much nicer to listen to someone doing a narration or reading (like these stories anyway) where they just... be themselves. If they're laughing, it's real and genuine, it feels like you're getting together with a bunch of pals just having a good time rather than reading from a damn script.

[@kadyvoss733]

Mentalgaming 4life in our campaign our 6year old aerokroka monk decided to chop the balls off of this hill giant and stick them to his forehead Another time at the beginning of our campaign we came across 2 child skeletons and our rouge decided to take there heads as trophies. Then we. Fought the hill giant in the next room and a family was inside layer we started talking to them and they went on and in about there 2 children and if there ok so our rouge pulled them out of his pocket oso the mother slapped him so hard he took 4 damage Not to long ago our party was invited to a ROYAL party and our dragon born decided to go to an alchemists shop and buy drugs called rocket fuel. Apparently when you take 2 doses it is called chicken flipping. So he went back to his newly bought apparent and chicken flipped the bottle. He started to hallucinationate and thought our 7ft rouge was a unicorn. His movement speed was also 100ft so he was faster then Usain Bolt. Later when we where escorted to the party he was already pretty hooped so then while we were there our dragonborn wanted to leave and mix the drug with Kandel crush a very alchlogolic beverage. Before the drug thing we where in a crypt fighting some skeletons. It took us 4hours to take down the 8 skeletons the wisp and the skeleton king. It was tough so to remember the day I took the skeleton kings left femer bone

[@kyle99223]

I about choked to death watching this because of that😂😂😂

[@ainzooalgown3927]

Kyle Cadwell was it a wiener?

[@RE-qr8ds]

8

[@jinxtheunluckypony]

The party was fighting a husband and wife assassin duo. Wizard used flesh to stone and petrified the husband. The horrified wife rushed to her lover’s side as she vainly tried to save him. Wizard used animate object and made the husband statue strangle his wife to death. Nobody gucks with a high level wizard.

[@knight4light]

oh.. thats evil. what would have made it worse would that it was a slow turn to stone... and the husbands head would be the last to turn and he could see himself strangle his love.

[@emmettboyd1173]

Worse is flesh to stone, Stone to mud, mud to stone, stone to flesh in earlier editions

[@blackstone1a]

that’s amazingly cruel, I love it

[@leppyleppy6210]

I think imma use this idea

[@blakewerner5466]

NothingXemnas ok there buckaroo, you need to calm down

[@mattevans4377]

"....I didn't just love my horse, I was in love with my horse..." Someone played CK2....

[@rodrikforrester6989]

*throat singing intensifies*

[@jaceross7648]

Matt Evans I only saw the first part of your comment and was about to say “this is about d&d not ck2

[@borntodie297]

That player should not meet my DM, because the chance of your mount dying, especially horses, are beyond reproach. Seriously, i'm leveling a paladin now, for once safe in the thought that if he kills my mounts, I can just summon them again.

[@N3t0L1n]

i bet your horse was a unicorn, same as ordinary horse, but more HORNY.

[@borntodie297]

@Akira Mizuki Believe me, it would only slightly limit his options. My DM will find a way to absolutely delete any mounts XD

[@stevenpeven258]

6:30 yeah, dust explosions typically form the basis of thermobaric weapons, which are amongst the most powerful non nuclear weapons. Pretty much no way for the dungeon master to bullshit his way out of that one.

[@ajgunter8932]

'The roof of the silo is in bad condition and water has leaked in, turning the dust into a paste, no explosion."

[@caiusdrakegaming8087]

@@ajgunter8932 Would have been a TPK regardless. He couldn't punish them just because he didn't know about dust explosions. He set it up for it to go that way, no one to be mad at but himself. Hell, he actually rolled for there to be grain in the silo.

[@ajgunter8932]

@@caiusdrakegaming8087 that was then only way I could see a dm denying that

[@caiusdrakegaming8087]

@@ajgunter8932 Yeah, but even then it would feel like a cop-out since he did unknowingly set it up so that could happen. He really couldn't be mad at the players just because they used a real life event to beat the final boss. Plus, that reason would have maybe lead to the grain spoiling, since that's the whole reason for a silo is to keep the grain dry, and...well again it'd feel like a cop-out because what village would let their, probably, only grain silo fall into disrepair? If he really wanted to fuck over his players, he could have just had the general turn into some demon with fire immunity. He' have survived, while his army and the party wouldn't have.

[@umlautabuser2769]

If i was the dm, i would be proud. Seriously, that's some advanced applied physics.

[@BillyCobbOfficial]

I actually thought the grain silo was a fitting and clever end to that campaign considering they were most likely going to die anyways and it ended up killing all the bad guys. A noble sacrifice.

[@SnoppleWopple]

ok

[@davidyounger2965]

It worked. It wouldn't have in real life as there would be no dust to catch fire if it were inert. The fireball would have impacted on the concrete exterior and probably done nothing. Yes if the fireball had knocked over the grain silo it would have created some dust but the real power with such an explosion would have been from the concrete being expelled from the shock wave. Like how your hand explodes if your fist is enclosed around a firecracker but just gets a little singed if it's open. Had he blasted the grain silo with a wind spell first and made the air extremely dusty then the resulting fireball would have burnt the hair off of everyone, maybe given them a third degree burn but the town wouldn't have been obliterated by the fireball. If anything it's a cool fireworks show for the bad guys to watch while they kill his character.

[@WarriorplayzBeno22iscool]

@@davidyounger2965 we are talking about older silos, this is an older DND campaign. They were weaker. So actually this is quite plausible

[@davidyounger2965]

@@WarriorplayzBeno22iscool In that case it likely still would not work. If your fireball strikes the silo in the center it would be put out before the dust can be stirred up by the grain above the impact area landing in the fire smothering the flames, the air rushing past it as it falls to the ground blowing the fire out, and the construction material landing on the flaming portion putting out the fire. Even if he were to shoot the roof and knock the silo over the little fireball it would create would travel away from the person who fired it and would maybe be hot enough to singe someones hair off. How a grain explosion works is the dust is stirred up and compressed by the walls of the structure. That is what does the vast majority of the damage. The built up pressure which is compounded as the dust expands during combustion. The fresh air and falling debris would snuff out your fire like it did to the twin towers when they fell over in 2001. The dust in that situation is equally as flammable as the dust in the silo. It doesn't explode because most of the fire is put out by debris and the dust isn't compressed.

[@froopea9094]

@@davidyounger2965 bro your debating whether a Dragonborn can blow up a demon possessed army general in a fantasy world with physics lol

[@asterodon]

Imagine making a pc so horrendous and malicious that the dm asks to borrow it for a villain in future campaigns. Props dude

[@buffalowings3215]

I bullied a space celestial into killing himself by giving him mass depression using a nat 20 persuasion check. Fun times

[@retosius7962]

bard?

[@MasterGiza]

@@retosius7962 ò ⁸

[@SirVennie]

Damn

[@jamoses5766]

Neutral Evil

[@pizzaball6564]

So just like mass effect

[@aenwynonymous1958]

My first character, Nia, a Goliath Cleric of the Light. She was a strong, wise, stupid character whose only goal was to have her life mean something, an impossibility according to her family. She is adopted by the party when she defends their panther mascot and finds a group she belongs with in doing so. She travels with them, dines with them, cries with them, fights with them. Then, eight real time months later and a few in game years, we end up in a arena and are accosted by several dozen fey and Genasi. Nia puts up a good fight, heaps her party a few times, saves the dying, stops monsters from teleporting and saves the character who first demanded she be taken in by the party. Then she takes three hits from three different air Genasi's and a character I can't remember what it was other than its affectionate name 'beer witch's. Two hits crit and she was down, rolling death saves, the air Genasi tries to stomp on her head and misses... Four times he misses Nia's unconscious, dying form. The party was in tears laughing and filled with dread in same moment. Then it's her turn again, I roll my saving throw, add the bardic inspiration d8 from our Bard (the one who demanded Nia be a part of the party) and still only manage a nine. Nia died for nothing, having achieved none of the great feats she wanted, having been unable to save her friends... And then my new homebrew Quickling PC flies in and steals all Nia's loot, even taking the holy emblem Nia had clasped between her fingers, for no other reason than it was shiny.

[@hosannapyles8201]

WTF IS WRONG WITH HIM

[@retosius7962]

@@hosannapyles8201 he's a quickling who likes shiny things

[@courtneycherry113]

Hahaha awesome

[@TheSpencermacdougall]

Lol did not expect you to screw yourself! great story.

[@stepkagnm1486]

*YOU’RE LIKE HITLER, BUT EVEN HITLER CARED ABOUT GERMANY OR SOMETHING*

[@Ajehy]

Obligatory “not me”. In my college gaming club, there was a “good and evil” game with two parallel parties. The evil game did some screwed-up stuff, but the ones that got famous were: 1. Petrifying an angel and selling him to a sketchy guy in an alleyway and 2. Killing and eating a unicorn.

[@Entropy67]

thats impressive

[@Grodycell]

Fucking voldemort

[@imacat4973]

THATS how angel statues are made!

[@Pooknottin]

Hmm... never petrified one before. It's something for the bucket list.

[@plantainsame2049]

Made a Is weeping angel

[@Aaryq]

Not D&D but a homebrew using Palladium Rules: Worst I ever did was killing another player's family in front of him because I couldn't kill him personally.

[@Hadaron]

Abdul Aziz ibn Musa al-Rahib “Killing Another player’s family in front of him” Not another player’s CHARACTER’S family... another player’s family. Please stay far away from me, I’m scared

[@Aaryq]

@@Hadaron AAAHAHAHAHAH! OOPS! No, I mean his Character's family...otherwise I may have ate a Thanksgiving with real zombies last year!

[@supercool1312]

Abdul Aziz ibn Musa al-Rahib PLAYERS

[@Aaryq]

@@supercool1312 Yeah, I got that word wrong but it's too funny to edit

[@BlackRainRising]

Why do I think of Eric Cartman in the episode where he puts the kids parents in his chili

[@willschroeder4934]

"I was in love with my horse" oh god no

[@jessegd6306]

Friendship is magic.

[@johnhorst779]

Caligula would like to know your location.

[@calebthecondor]

No bucket required

[@begga7173]

We had someone who would fall in love with any inanimate object he saw. Bards. What can I say

[@emeraldkoala2]

🤢 kzbin.info/www/bejne/f5zZpX-cd8Sdl80

[@DanePavitt]

Playing Eberron: We kidnapped a Halfling who was an agent of a rival crime family & interrogated him for information. Once we were done with him, we decided we had to kill him & get rid of the evidence. The spell Prestidigitation can be used to clean up & remove mess, so if we could turn him into a mess, we could magic him away. We decided to mash him into a fine paste, disguising the screams with one of those singing bass fish ornaments (long story). Once the session was over, it hit us what we had done & were immediately horrified. It still haunts us.

[@ebolachanislove6072]

Here's a pretty long one but it's all needed and i tried to keep it short This one made my DM cry. My First character ever, Noble background human Black draconic sorc, Maleron Brask The game is free roam af with a contract system for quests but a whole town to mess around in other than that. Two important things happen before the quest this story is about. first my character collects emergency taxes for the merchant guild to pay for repairs to the market square after another player's combat encounter spilled out of the sewers (he ran and a lot of monsters chased him out) and the second one is that my character attempted to strike at the heart of organized crime in the town, (I wanted to control the gangs and black markets so that i could raise the funds to build a proper abode for my pompous noble character.) instead of being in control of much i would up murdering the largest gang in the town down to 5 men. they would later go on to have a dispute with some of my actually hired muscle while I was out running around and only one guy survived that fight,but that's after this story and I still wound up with a pretty nice crime lair in the slums that none of the other players knew about IC. The town is on the very edge of civilization so the peasants are by and large not as properly respectful of nobility as they should be, my character has drawn a lot of attention from the higher echelons of society in this town and the local count winds up contracting me to find his run away son, the boy's ran off with a common tavern wench from the slums recently. this needs to be dealt with immediately and quietly so that no further harm can be done to the image of the noble classes. If news of this got out it would be a large scandal. I've already met the owner of the slummer bar the girl works at and with a little abuse of office and my mission to collect taxes, have a deal that he acts as my informant in the slums in exchange for not reporting the illegal prostitution happening in his bar. I have an armed goon undercover watching over the barman at all times, (A rowdy dwarf i payed a fair chunk of gold to make sure no one roughs up my informant, he gets fed and boozed up like a regular customer so as to not draw suspicion) Interviewing another barmaid that was friends with our little lovebird reveals she's recently joined a "self help" organization that screams fire cult. whatever they did gave her enough self confidence to run off with the count's son. she tells me where the cult is headquartered and me and my merry band of hired thugs pay them a visit. it takes me a while to trick the doorman into letting me in and just as we make it through the front door of the fire cult HQ, whatever ritual going on goes wrong and the building fucking explodes. This is basically just a large shack and the slums are not exactly built to fire code standards, this fire is big. We find the count's son knocked out and pinned under a burning support beam with the barmaid frantically trying to free him. I order my 5 men to lift the beam and I extract the lovesick son. We need to get him away from the fire so me, the count's now considerably less conscious son, my hired thugs and most importantly (for this story) the barmaid all return to my shiny new lair so that we can make sure the boy doesn't die. I take the girl into the back room and have a heart to heart conversation, she's reluctant to follow my character into a back room and says "I know his father sent you to bring him home, this is the part where I die isn't it?" My character simply sighs and says "You aren't in my contract, **Honestly why do people always assume the worst of me**?" She replies "It's not you it's the count that I don't trust" before following me into the other room. I talk to her for a while and get all the info that she has about the fire cultists. The cult had a lot of sayings about "using your inner fire" to improve your life and apparently the leader wanted to become a fire elemental and it seems the ritual just turned him into a lot of fire. She hands me a potion the leader had given her saying she wouldn't need it any more (later identified as a fire resistance potion) as i grab the potion with one hand I put the other over her mouth and CAST RAY OF SICKNESS directly into her lungs. In her final moments the barmaid witnesses the monster that is Maleron Brask, mocking her as she lay dying. **"The thing about assumptions my dear, is that they are usually true"** (evil laughter and DM tears intensify) To wrap every thing up nicely I take her corpse back into the other room and lay her down next to the count's son and wait for him to wake up When he wakes up he asked what happened to her and I tell him we found her collapsed on top of the beam that we found him under and that it looks like she breathed in too much smoke while trying to free him. The poison damage to her lungs lines up fairly well with death by smoke inhalation and he doesn't question me any further. With his lover dead and no reason to suspect that the man who saved his life could have killed her, our lovesick teen has no further reason to avoid returning home. The woefully weak reputation of the noble class in this town is spared what could have been a monumental blow and my character becomes good friends with the Count who goes on to hire me for a few more important tasks before the rp group falls apart a month later.

[@sfb4996]

ebola chan is love please give tl:dr

[@ebolachanislove6072]

@@sfb4996 here is the trumpet lunged doctor version :DDD >Be me (thas me :DDD) >important ebil manz >local bossman's son is running around with a girl he shouldn't be >track them down >save them from a burning building >boy is KOd but gonna live >take his big tiddy barmaid gf to other room and play the victim when she suspects me not be good. >she tells me everything about the fire cult and hands me an item > "But actually am ebil :DDDD die" >trick boy into thinking his big tiddy barmaid gf died trying to save him so he doesn't hate me >everyone wins (cept barmaid :DDD)

[@BrianVaughnVA]

Long reads are often just fine mate don't worry.

[@lycanender9459]

That's evil, I love it

[@Sorain1]

See this? This is Super Villain credentials. It's about presentation. Anyone could just have killed her, or tortured the info out and then done it. But utterly abusing her naiveté and trust before setting it up so she is the kids lost Lenore? Chef's kiss.

[@sammy_mmantha]

Not DnD but Shadowrun I played a no nonsense assassin who'll kill anyone for the right price, no exceptions. But she was also a professional who wouldn't kill people she wasn't paid to. She got a job once where she had to kill a man under witness protection who'd been given a whole new identity and left his old life behind entirely, the man placing the hit didn't have any ideas on how to get the guy to show up, or who he might be now so my character just says "Does he have any kids? Even those under witness protection are gonna go to their kids funeral." This shocked even the man hiring her, who worked for a particularly bloodthirsty mafia family. But he agreed with the idea, and worked the man's child and wife onto the contract. They were both killed at the same time with Wesker style hand-through-the-chest attacks before the man was garroted at their funeral in front of his security detail. The GM didn't spare any details in how that kid died, I felt really bad ooc

[@filthysewerrat3490]

Jesus fucking christ, your character might be even more badass than mine

[@brianguidry907]

I was about to play a campaign in Shadowrun until the DM and one of the players got into such a bad fight the entire campaign was scrapped. My character was a technomancer with the Gremlins negative trait.

[@snarkbotanya6557]

My Pathfinder group, playing an evil party, stole a man's dogs and made them love us. We encountered him again later, and he recognized the dogs and tried to get them to come back to him... only for them to stay with our diplomancer antipaladin. The guy was absolutely crushed. I think that might be the most flat-out evil thing we will ever do in that game. Oh, my necromancer also surgically removed a dead guy's eyeballs and is storing them in a vial because she thinks they're pretty and wants to give them to her zombie maid.

[@greenapple9477]

To eat or to look at? She's a zombie.

[@snarkbotanya6557]

@@greenapple9477 To put in the zombie maid's face when her current eyes rot away beyond the repair of Prestidigitation. My necromancer is a noble lady who has high standards for the presentation of her undead servants.

[@greenapple9477]

@@snarkbotanya6557 That makes 10x more sense than what my dumb self thought.

[@CasperTheRestless]

well here eyes were as deep as the ocean and as beautiful as diamonds

[@nephilima3956]

Had a character that was a homebrew we called Puppeteer, which meant that one of my abilities gave me the ability to turn creatures temporarily into puppets by controlling with something called arcane strings. What happened was that we were send on your typical monster slaying quest by some widow in a farmhouse. Or so we thought, because the "pest" we had to deal with turned out to be some level 4 demon which managed to kill all of my party members before I finally managed to kill it. What we had gathered during the quest, though, was, that that woman we got the quest from was somewhat the wife of said demon and she us on this quest as some kind of offerings to her "husband". Needles to say, my character was fucking pissed, as one of the other party members actually had been her fiance. So she went back to the farmhouse, immobilized the woman with strings and turned the son into some kind of living puppet. In the end, she made the kid stab his own, PREGNANT I MIGHT ADD, mother before snapping his neck. And before you look at me funny, all of them were in on this, because the kid was some kind of demon hybrid who had first tried to stab me after me appearing at his door again made him realize I had butchered his father.

[@retosius7962]

damn that's chaotic neutral as hell. I like it can you send me the homebrew for that. might shove it into the patchwork subclass for warlock I'm making

[@stone9302]

That's not that bad. It's just retroactive self defense.

[@nephilima3956]

@@stone9302 Would it chamge your opinion if I tell you that I enjoyed it?

[@nephilima3956]

@@retosius7962 Would have to find that info sheet of the class, that should be lying around somewhere, but sure.

[@stone9302]

@@nephilima3956 Not really. You enjoying it doesn't change the fact they drew first blood. Lol

[@thejudge4421]

I committed genocide against ogres because the GM didn’t want to progress the story. We were trying to take over a fort and couldn't do it so I raised and equipped an undead army and wiped them out. later I was going to create a virus that targeted only ogres. that game fell apart soon after. I would later use this same character to massacre an entire village as a resource to build a nuke for the queen of cheliax. This character post-war would go on to crusade against pirates with a legion of undead using them as suicide plague bombers and turned an entire island into a chemical testing ground. he is one of the main BBEG in a game I'm now runing

[@stone9302]

The origin story of papa Nurgle.

[@charlesreid9337]

youre "that guy" so you know..

[@thejudge4421]

@@charlesreid9337 in my defense, most of this took place in a campaign called hell's vengeance (an evil campaign) and it does call out for you to do stuff like the above mentioned. but you are correct I realized a while ago in the ogre extermination (in a non-evil game) wasn't kosher.

[@notafightitsanexecution]

@@thejudge4421 whats he mean by "that guy"

[@knight4light]

i like this type of reading more than the robot voice. this one you can hear the readers reaction. also why i like r/slash lol.

[@BrianVaughnVA]

I try to do my best while reading mate! All my emotions are 100% natural and locally grown too.

[@elliotthartup4095]

In my first proper DND campaign experience, I played a lawful evil dragonborne vengeance paladin. We ran across a town that turned on us hard and were some kind of cult. We escaped, but I managed to pin a cultist by the hand to our cart. When we stopped, I went full bad cop mode. I pulled a gold amulet off him, and began heating it up. He was pinned down and we interrogated him, and once I was out of questions, I placed the red hot amulet on his face branding him. It was cool, but also royally fucked up.

[@wesleybcrowen]

Not even fifteen seconds and we already got a peak DnD moment there.

[@GZilla311]

WesleyB Crowen Yeah I was like "Holy crap, they usually build up to this stuff!"

[@legatetheanime9827]

Most screwed up thing I did was in my current campaign. I was playing a 45 year old veteran cavalier and the rest of the party are spell casters who had never seen combat before. First combat session I slice a man’s stomach open and then hit a guy with my lance. I roll a nat 20. And max damage. This man was insta killed. The lance goes through the armour and out the back. My character then turns to the last guy and says “Are you sure you want to still fight us?” The last guy feints so my guy gets off his horse and cuts off the heads of every enemy then gets sticks and puts the heads on them. Then he just got back on his horse and just continue going with the party. The whole party was throwing up and was terrified of me. This was the second session. The first session had a Warlock making sentient cheese and now having a girlfriend. Then next session a guy scars the whole party.

[@ryanconroy9589]

My friends and I were playing Out Of The Abyss, and we were trying to escape from the cells the drow had us in. I was playing a Tabaxi barbarian. First part of our plan to escape was to lure a guard in so we could gang up on him and take his stuff. I tried to lure him in by beating up a Derro NPC who was also in the cell with us. When the guard just laughed and enjoyed watching me beat up the Derro, I snapped the NPC's neck, looked the guard in the eye, and took a bite out of the corpse. THAT got him to come in.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Playing OotA ourselves now; we managed to whittle the number down even before we made a break for it. Our fighter critted one of the drow with the same crossbow bolt they shot him with, that got Jimjar fed to the spiders. And our mage managed to got off a minor illusion; created a monstrous roar while on the lift that allowed him to boot one of his guards off about 100 ft up, and rolled near max damage for falling too.

[@shaurmiath6719]

The most screwed up thing I ever did was in an early game. We were playing an evil party, but it was kind of... selfish or maligned characters against monsters or truly maniacal evil. A friend of mine and I were playing a Druid and a Necromancer, respectively. There was a ranger NPC woman who we were both crushing on, but she ended up falling for the Druid. She ended up sacrificing herself heroically to save him. It was all very touching, and I stayed behind afterward to "say goodbye." Next combat, we're sending our minions into combat, the druid and I. I command my minions. "Go forth, my skeletons! Go forth, my zombie vulture! Go forth, [Friend]'s Dead Girlfriend!" and his jaw drops. Everyone was like "You didn't!" I did.

[@spookyegg9303]

Oh god. The very first post reminded me of a campaign I'm currently in. One of our players is a dark elf ranger-type, who obsessively collects the "coin purses" of our male victims. Even had one tanned and strung to act as a literal coin purse. (And people still look at me funny for raising the dead. Yeesh!)

[@MrGrimm-eo5lc]

Sheesh, i guess the ranger had a NUT fetish

[@SH-qs7ee]

Did something similar in a 3e stormwrack campaign; character was looking for new crew, someone in the bar said something nasty to her and flashed his wedding tackle; One Nat 20 later, said tackle is in the floor and Joke Boy is bleeding out beside it. She took it as a trophy and nailed it to the mast; it made every other male crew EXTREMELY polite with her.

[@Wirmish]

In the _Descent to Undermountain_ adventure, in the 3rd level of the dungeon, I opened a door and found myself face to face with a Lich. During our short discussion I noticed that he was holding a pipe. So I gave him a collection of pipes and a bag of tobacco that I had found in the middle of the game. The Lich thanked me and asked me to close the door when leaving...

[@SlowMonoxide]

(This is going to take a little explaining, as the setup for this happened over an IRL year's worth of sessions.) WH40k Dark Heresy campaign: Playing a party of Imperial Guardsmen (so, basically the lowest level grunts, if you are unfamiliar with 40k) with some friends. The first important thing to know is that everyone's characters had extremely specific, selfish, motivations and everyone was *very* committed to staying in character. Second important thing: right from session one, my character Kaibre, a snipey-stabby type, had conflicts with a friend's character, Zunnoth, our heavy-gunner/lorehound, and pretty much every session our characters would nearly come to blows over our disagreements, thus leading to a heavy grudge between us. Third important thing: our DM *loved* to screw with us, me in particular, and I had acquired a nemesis in the form of a disembodied, metallic, alien-seeming hand, that would crop up to attack me at the randomest of moments. Last important thing: as all of our schedules were different, the way we handled a player who was present last session being absent this time, was that their character did not simply vanish, but was unconscious and had to be carted around and cared for by the others. Relevant events: One time we were in between deployments, on the ship our unit was attached to, and had some rare downtime and the ability to purchase equipment, augs, etc. This was quite rare, as our DM had pretty much had us running from one fight to another since the campaign began. After each of us completed our 'in town' actions, so to speak, we were to return to our bunks and sleep, and were told that we would receive new deployment orders the next day. That night, I awoke from a nightmare of being strangled, to find that I was *actually* being strangled, by the ever-persistent disembodied hand. While thrashing around the room, desperately attempting to find some way to damage this thing without injuring myself, and unable to call out for help since I was being choked, my companions were awakened by the noise, and began to try to help. Unfortunately for me, Zunnoth's idea of 'help' was that he should shoot the hand off of me, despite precision not being remotely his specialty. The hand, by this time, was on my face clawing at my eyes (I'd Emperor's Fury-d the strength roll to tear the hand off my throat and fling it away, but crit failed the roll for the aim, so it bounced off the nearest bedpost on landed directly on my face) so when he, inevitably, missed the hand as it successfully rolled to dodge, (escaping into a vent shortly thereafter) he ended up literally shooting out one of my eyes, nearly killing me in the process. Luckily for me, we were on the ship, so I simply told Zunnoth that I would repay his "kindness" in the future, and went to the infirmary for treatment, and got a shiny new prosthetic for my scorched eye socket. When I returned from the infirmary, everyone had gone back to sleep, so I privately conferred with the DM about what sorts of actions I could take by relying on my stealth and weapons knowledge. I passed all the rolls I needed with flying colors, and successfully sabotaged Zunnoth's heaviest gun, the one he would be sure to take out when the poop really hit the fan. From then until the next time he used it, the DM would occasionally have him make Perception rolls, without telling him why, but he failed all of them and never discovered the sabotage. In a later session, we were ascending a hive (arcology skyscraper, basically) on a world that was in the process of falling to the forces of Chaos. We had managed to find an intact elevator that would bring us all the way to the top level, from where we could contact our air support. However, the elevator stopped partway up, as if summoned by someone from that floor. Of course, we knew that almost certainly meant we were about to encounter hostiles, so we formed up as best we could in the confines of the elevator, with Zunnoth at the front, heavy stubber at the ready. I sent private transmissions over the vox network to everyone else in the squad, warning them (without stating the reason) that they should keep a certain distance behind Zunnoth, rather than rushing to support him as he charged. The elevator doors opened, revealing several extremely surprised Chaos Space Marines, and since we were prepared while they were not, we had initiative. Zunnoth boldly strode forth, raised his gun, took aim, pulled the trigger, and..... the barrel exploded, taking his dominant hand with it, severely injuring him, and sending his (now unconscious) body flying back into the elevator. Zunnoth's player was absent for the next couple of sessions, so it was established that he simply had not recovered enough from his injuries to awaken. Our medic was an extremely unscrupulous individual, who cared for nothing but his medical experiments, and money/supplies/subjects with which to continue them. During this time period, I finally managed to capture and contain (but could not destroy) the hand that had haunted my steps from the earliest days of the campaign, and conceived a nefarious plan. I heavily bribed our medic to surgically attach the hand to Zunnoth's stump while he was unconscious. It emitted some sort of weird green light, fused with him with no problems, and didn't seem to cause him any pain, though upon closer inspection it seemed it was beginning to convert his tissues to the same metallic substance as the hand itself at a slow rate. OOC we all knew this was a bad sign, but as Zunnoth was the only character with a significant amount of lore, none of our characters thought twice about it. Several sessions later, we had managed to put a halt to the summoning of an avatar of Khorne, thus drawing the ire of every single heretic on the planet, which was a lot, since they had pretty thoroughly invaded. Zunnoth, though upset with me and our medic for our unconventional surgery, had been somewhat pacified by the fact that the hand functioned just fine, and he didn't seem to be showing any ill effects. To this day, we give his player flak IRL for not noticing *immediately* what was wrong with the hand we'd grafted to him. Anyway, we were completely cut off from the retreating Imperial Fleet, and it was clear that no more shuttles or assault craft would be braving the Chaos blockade to pick us up. Put simply, we were screwed. We decided that since were nearly certain to all die anyway, we may as well go out in a blaze of glory, and decided to fight our way to the center of the densest concentration of Chaos forces, where they had successfully opened a portal directly to the Warp for some purpose as yet unknown to us. We'd had an NPC officer who was receiving visions from (what we thought was) a Saint along with us for quite some time, and as we were fighting above the portal, he said that the Saint had told him if we were to enter the Warp, it was possible we would find a path to safety somehow, despite the fact that entering the Warp sans-Geller Fields normally meant instant death and/or possession. We dove into the portal, destroying it behind us, finding ourselves in the Warp. The very instant the portal closed, Zunnoth began emitting green light, and swiftly became (if you know 40k you've probably guessed it) a Necron. The Necron that had just replaced our friend immediately began consuming Warp energy and replicating itself at a ridiculously rapid pace. As we watched, an infinite tide of Necrons spread into the infinite distance, consuming all of the daemons of the Immaterium, converting the energies of the Warp to Necron energy, and replicating even more rapidly. Essentially, based on 40k lore, this means that we unwittingly helped Necrons defeat and consume the only roughly comparable power to them in the galaxy, thus dooming not only all of humanity, but every other race in the galaxy, and probably thereafter other galaxies. So basically, I won my petty grudge match against my friend by dooming the universe, killing all of our characters, and ensuring that we couldn't even roll up new characters in that continuum, ending a campaign that had been running for over a year in one fell swoop.

[@CasperTheRestless]

wow just wow. I love this novel of a post

[@whoxman1621]

A necron not only suriving in the Warp, but also replicating itself to the infinity? Honestly, that's where my willing suspension of disbelief for the freedom of DMs in their campaigns is dropped.

[@flibbernodgets7018]

We're playing an evil pathfinder campaign where we're trying to become gods through a competition. We needed to get a sample of our holy color in a spectacular way, and we were brainstorming ideas. One of the players, who is IRL very cheerful and friendly, hits us out of nowhere with "well, my sister's scales are a very pretty shade of blue". We all stare at her. "What? And, if I desecrate her corpse by skinning it, she can't go to her afterlife!" We all looked at her differently after that, and that was the moment when it really sunk in for us that we were the badguys.

[@retosius7962]

yeah I'd have done worse by making it purple and also draining her blood and using her bones as the pestle to mix the horrid concoction.

[@nicholasavasthi9879]

“Hans, are we the baddies?”

[@celricdisvervegia1342]

3.5E some ten years ago, I'm dming for my group of friends (we were like 13 or something): the party enter a city and need to talk to the mayor to get the details of the quest, they instead decided to wonder around randomly and ended up in front of an old lady's house so, obviously, they force their entry in it and kill the lady. Mind you this all happen mid day, zso guards notice and went to investigate, the rogue had a lot of deception skill but decided to excess in caution and so he skin the lady's face and wears it like a mask to talk to the guard, which notice the "ruse" and is about to strike but the party ended up kicking him out the house and start looking for another exit. Now this lady was supposed to be an important npc later in the campaign, with a secret passage to the sewer system for the local thief guild, and the party found it, but they needed a small boat. While the party is discussing what to do, the same rogue, still wearing that old lady's face, perk up and says: since imya taxidermist by craft I should be able to skin the rest of this lady, sew it up nicely and fill it with air, we won't have a boat but that should work.... I ended the campaign right there, first 30 min of game.

[@retosius7962]

he, he tried to make a fucking old lady sex doll to use as a boat?! damn that's fucking horrid

[@keithshepard3]

2nd E. My party member, a half- elf rogue thief and my PC a wood elf ranger ran into a group of 5 gigantic centipedes at lvl 4. We get surrounded as well as our horses. Apparently their venom is an insta-kill and I get hit in the second round of combat and so does my horse. The rogue has a negative AC so she basically cannot get touched. She decided to loot my body in the middle of combat, like an absolute asshole and when she got all of my valuables. She hopped on her untouched horse and rode away. Leaving my body to get picked apart by scavengers

[@Wirmish]

Never trust the thief !

[@keithshepard3]

Wirmish FACTS

[@masmurdermonkey9233]

69 views, possibly appropriate.

[@davemakesnoises]

Mas MurderMonkey nice

[@edwardhans1502]

69k now, very nice

[@lettucehead7767]

I dont have friends to play so I always love hearing other's experiences on your channel

[@ketchupchxp_8623]

So my first time playing DnD I chose rogue from the DM's advice, anywho as after all our characters had met up and were headed to the first town we encountered a band of bandits my first action I chose to stealth rolled nat18 the DM says I literally just vanish into the woods so when my party looks back I'm already gone, so as combats nearing its end I've been in the trees shooting arrows my party finishes all but one bandit I roll to attack nat20 plus my stealth bonus as rogue DM asks where I would like to shoot him and I respond "I let loose the arrow it flies true and strikes the target perfectly going through his ugh shaft splitting his lower regions in twine" The DM tells me the arrow hits After combat as I'm looting the bandits and collecting arrows the DM asks if really want the one I'd shot pretty mush through someones ass and balls I say yes and he tells me I've collected a powerfully poisoned arrow eventful first fight

[@shadowtheimpure]

You know you've played an 'evil' campaign properly when the DM asks to use your character as a recurring villain.

[@grahamreid2844]

You guys should upload these videos as a podcast on Spotify! I love listening to them on the way to class and I think it would make everything much easier and give y’all a whole new fan base. I love you guy’s work and it genuinely makes my day when you post! Keep up the good work!

[@Now_Its_Orange]

Really looking forward to your d&d game!

[@BrianVaughnVA]

And we hope you like that cluster fuck when we do it! Two noobs and two experienced guys usually makes for some interesting events.

[@ThetaSigma718]

This was my last session with a group before I left because my DM was targeting me for out of game reasons, and effectively the last session of DnD I actually played. Our party was helping our ambassador barbarian rig an election. We were tasked with getting everyone else out of the running. My drow warlock had the idea to use mask of many faces and disguise himself as a prostitute to sully the name of someone running who was racist, beat children, and had the slogan “make Sidrit Great Again”. So, I go in and after mask of many faces is up and we both roll terribly on performance, I get down real close and whisper “you just fucked a drow child, congrats future mayor” my character was canonically 17 and it is my proudest moment. I ruined a politician

[@gabrielladavidson2938]

That's pretty good tbh

[@thomasrush2095]

I once free form roleplayed a character whose only skill was in crashing helicopters, in an adventure objective that requires the entire group to ride a helicopter. Needless to say, it was a very short game session.

[@miniperico4499]

Killed a blacksmith and 7 villigers by blowing up the blacksmiths shop on accident with a magic folding boat. I wasnt allowed to hold on to it for the rest of the campaign

[@stash4766]

Dude that vampire bad guy saving the dying children by turning them is so good

[@butterflykittens5487]

My friend was playing a Lizardfolk and I was an Elf Durid. I died and he cut off my fingers and was going to eat me when I came back to life and said in a monotone voice to give me back my fingers, then I reattached them by using magic.

[@Wirmish]

What kind of magic is that?

[@FartOfAsspiration]

Mmmm. Druid fingers.

[@serpentinewolf7085]

I might be a lizardfolk….

[@michaelpeace8128]

OK do I have a good story for you and it’s really involves myself and another player that messed up really really bad. Mild spoilers for the mines of Phandelver. I play a Irish monk of the way of the drunken master named Shaymus O’briety (pun intended) in an adventures league. Our DM likes to occasionally add a few homebrew items into our campaign such as a type of zombie we would call clickers because of their ability to track us down by sound. After a point in the story, we barely completed a timed puzzle where if the timer ran out we would all be dead. That’s when the party decided to take some time to explore the room during a short rest in preparation to fight the BBEG Mr. Spyder. Some of us worked on how to open the door to the next room all the rest of us including myself went to go look at the body of the dead doppelgänger and a skeleton that was in one corner of the room. There is a rogue who is currently looting the body of the doppelgänger and a sorceress who is taking a close look at the dead skeleton being sure that it wouldn’t come to life any second. The rogue had found a box containing three gems. A diamond worth 300 gold, a gem that contained a spell, and what appeared to be a soul gem with something in it. She couldn’t tell what it was and was going to take it to the sorceress to identify it. Meanwhile, the sorceress had found nothing on the skeleton except for a hourglass filled with sand right next to it. She proceeded to pick it up and flip it over to which the DM’s eyes got extremely wide like a deer in headlights. He then proceeds to write something on a piece of paper and hand it to the sorceress. That is when the sorceress loudly proclaims that the room is trapped and starts making her way to the door. I being somewhat inquisitive (and drunk in game not irl) decided to go check out the hourglass itself. I intended to only look at it on the ground without picking it up but in order to get a really good thorough look at it I had to pick it up. I rolled a decent investigation check but not enough to determine the runes that were on its side. From what I could tell there was a small crack on the top of the hour class and the sand turning from a light color to a darker color on the bottom half of the glass. I decided to flip the glass over to see if it would do the same in reverse turning from darker to light like a sort of minor illusion. However, when I did the crack got larger and the sand started turning from a light color to black and the crack started spreading faster. I quickly flipped it back to its original position which only made the crack even larger and started to shake. The damn looked at me and showed me a timer on his phone saying that I had five minutes. I immediately placed it on the ground and booked it to the door. When the sorceress noticed the hourglass start to shake she cast dispel magic on it instead of running to the door like I was. Man if you could’ve seen the DM’s eyes they were about the size of dinner plates. The DM then asks who was holding the box full of gems to which the rogue replied that she was. The DM then describes how the bag that she was holding the box in immediately has a large bony hand sprout forth from it with the second hand coming to open up the bag the rest of the way. The sorceress then runs up to the rogue as fast as possible and quickly tries to shove one of the large bony hands into her bag of devouring. This of course required a save to not be immediately sucked into it to which whatever this hand belonged to naturally made the save Easily according to the DM. The creature then pulls itself out destroying the bag and stood as tall as a stone giant but had the look of death upon him. He carried with him a giant scythe that seemed to emanate a dark energy. Basically he looked like a Grim Reaper except huge. When we rolled to see if we recognized him The only thing that we came up with was his name. His actual name had been long forgotten but we have come to know him by one name the right hand of death. It turns out that box with the soul gem was supposed to be the hook into the main campaign that the DM was planning after the module. I am in an attempt to quickly dispel the threat tried to convince this champion of death that we intended to let him go because surely being stuck in a gem has got to suck right? I rolled a deception check and got a nat 1 and with my modifier of -2 meant I had a total of -1. The right hand of death having been stuck in a gem for so many years and almost being sucked into a bag of devouring found my blatant lie to be quite offensive. He responded by saying “I thank you for releasing me and now I shall release you from your mortal coil”. The preceding fight lead to a near TPK with several party members being knocked. If it wasn’t for our cleric in the party who had a scroll of returning, we would have all been dead. TLDR in taking a short rest to heal the party up before the BBEG, I and another player accidentally released the Biggest Baddest Evilest Guy Ever who almost TPK the party.

[@aarushshah6686]

As a group of khanards in a band, the way we started the campaign was by heading to a town. We saw a family of 4 also heading there. My bandmate wanted to say hi, and our DM has us roll for a charisma stat. He got a nat 1. The family was disgusted by us and started dashing away as fast as possible. I, as a great band mate and friend dual casted firebolt and killed 3 of them with a nat 20 that went through two of their heads (the mom and the 5 year old child) and an 15 that hit one dead in the chest, which made them fly off their carriage into the grass. Then, we set fire to the carriage and then hunted down the dad, and I used message to act like his dead wife to tell him to come back and I rolled REALLY high on persuasion. He turned around, screamed his wifes name and started running towards us. Then, he got jumped by a homebrew monster, which was an ant and a spider combined but REALLY fuzzy and big. (6ft long 3ft wide) He then got his head bit off. Right before he died, he yelled for his child to "RUN!!!" while saying something about I love you. One of our party members casted crown of madness, so she attacked the homebrew monster.She then ran and we had to break concentration. When she ran, the skitterling took opportunity attack and did 3 damage. The child was on 2 hp, running for their life. When they got around 600 feet away from the town, we killed the homebrew monster and I caught upon my horse. I stabbed her twice , doing 1 damage the first attack and4 damage the second attack. We then used mold earth to bury her body. WE got questioned by the guards about the fire, but we rolled high on persuasion so they thought nothing of it. Later on in the campaign, when we were supposed to leave, one of the players had to go, so they were just unconscious. We were bored, so we decided to bury them. Well, our dm had us roll to see how recent of the coffin was, and we rolled a 18. The most recent death was the family we murdered. We put them in a coffin next to the child and mom they murdered, snuggling with their dead corpses. and when I arrived, I got so scared that I casted firebolt and got a nat 20. I perfectly burned the inside of the dad's head, (that was decapitated) and then let our party member stay there. Then, when they came back the next session they woke up next to a body and a head, but rolled low on perception, and wisdom so just took the head with them, thinking it was no biggy. Our party members got away with murder, but then took their dead head around with them to all the shops in town. The barkeep was friends with them, and started attacking us. She did around 10-15 damage to each of us (at level 4) when I just didnt care and blew her head off with mind sliver. In around 2 in game days, we killed a family of 4, killed the barkeep who gave us free stuff and helped us, and also finished a campaign. We're now on a quest to revive an NPC who was our friend, and could have honestly taken all of them, but we didn't. We are not good people.

[@farmgrownnerd]

Oh I got one, very start of a new campaign. Party of just two (game had been canceled for four weeks solid and we went ahead and played with who could make it) trapped in a prison with no idea why we were there. After some investigation checks for any way to escape (nat1’s and just bad rolls), we had to sit and wait for someone to come by or close to the cell. A cook eventually comes to deliver the dinner for the evening and we both rolled charisma checks to see who he would talk to. Other PC rolled something low, I rolled nat20. For some context, this player had been dismissing suggestions I would make for escape as ‘uncreative’ and ‘boring’, constantly going on about how we had to be stealthy and not make a huge noise. Before eventually agreeing (acting like it was their idea the entire time) that trying to talk to someone about wtf was going on and why we were trapped. My character was a tabaxi bard, tabaxis have a chart to roll from for daily obsessions ranging from mundane objects to rare magical items. I had rolled a mundane item for this particular day. Which I took to mean a magic pipe (no battle use, just for funsies) that blew smoke in animal shapes. Rather than ask this cook why we were imprisoned, I obsessed about where my pipe was. Asking if he could find it for me. “It’s of great sentimental value to me! I must have it back! Please, is there any way you can find it for me and bring it here?” Other player was groaning the entire time while the DM and I are laughing our butts off that my bard went totally spaz cat mode rather than ask for help escaping.

[@redeyestakewarning8255]

I was playing as a gnome bard who acted like a garden gnome and was obsessed with carrots and buckets. We were babysitting two royal kids when I was trying to steal from their loot stash, however Thor decided to try and stop me so I started singing about buckets and with my fear that let me impersonate voices I picked a random god, Freya, Thor’s dead mother and made him cry. I made the god of thunder cry by singing about buckets.

[@hatmcshooty]

In my session 0, I may have unleashed an evil dragon that may or may not come back to kill me, but hey, I have a flame tongue shortsword

[@Wirmish]

flame tongue ... and the dragon was red... hehe.

[@hatmcshooty]

Wirmish there was a blinding green light, and I didn’t see what the dragon’s color was because it was midnight, so I’m assuming it is green

[@nathan714]

That vampire quest was really well done, it was forshadowed effectively and still suprising at the same time

[@alex9x9]

The DM shouting at the bard sounds pretty annoying but the bard was a fucking LEGEND!

[@rainthesomber]

Honestly it was so the dm's fault, like I get you don't like bards but you gotta wing it man especially with a new player, it wouldn't have happened if the dm wasn't toxic.

[@bootsmecat7810]

My friend stole my flint and steel, and proceeded to attempt to burn down the * ship we're on *.

[@MrStoltverd]

I'm a DM, not a player. But here's my worst: At the start of the campaign I gave all my players things that they would treasure and develop trough the campaign. From characters, to business to guilds. Designed systems for development, etc. For one of them (the star of the story) I gave him a family (in other continent because adventuring), a blacksmithing shop and a community to manage. He LOVED IT ALL. He developed a relationship with his character's wife through letters and started sending her spoils of his adventures and gold. The gold he didn't send, he would spend in parties for the community and charity for the poor members of said community. I even involved the community in some adventures to develop the relationships even more. The rest of the gold and loot? Spent for the development of the blacksmithing shop... Then, a visit from a son and adventuring with him. The catch? From the start, I planned to take everything away on the last adventure. This was a grim adventure. The player's characters would end up corrupt heroes. Not saving the world because it was the right thing to do, but because they had stakes in it. The adventure would end with the characters fall and the almost sure end of the world. (They're actually about to doom it or save it next session) So... First, I made him meet his wife. Let him share a few adventures with her. Receive a magic item from her as a gift, etc etc etc. He grew attached as I said, so he have her a magic item too. Then... "You feel how your wife is taken violently from your arms. You can't see very well in the dark, but you hear her screams, the splattering of blood and a loud growl". A lycanthrope. (He also got the curse) His character changed, and the player's play-style too. I left him to work on the other players until last session, when I took everything from him in one fell swoop. After a boss battle, he said to the other characters: "hey, let's go sleep, heal and plan our next move at my shop. It's a safe place" Well... Thing is... The boss wasn't dead. ... "You find the place in flames, it's been burning for a while and it can't be saved. At the entrance you see two Spears with something on their heads... You see the severed head of your son and the head of the leader of the guards. (Best npc friend and second leader of his community). The player screamed, stood up and almost cried. It was glorious.

[@charlesreid9337]

ya this wasnt good this was you being a douche. I note this was all unavoidable by the players and didnt come from their actions. It came from you having a deep need to do harm. Thats sick not clever. Get help

[@MrStoltverd]

Relax you two. The players knew how everything could and most probably would end. We were playing shadow of the demon lord. The most grim of grim settings. They often joked of killing everyone and then ending it all and other things. I asked on session 0 for soft and hard limits and asked them if it was ok to make them feel rage, fear, sadness and disgust irl. (I'm a narrative designer and they have experienced other forms of media from me, so they know to what extent I could be talking about). And finally... They are still talking about it and telling me what a great story we all made. I believe that exploring difficult themes and negative emotions is a valid form of storytelling and should be even encouraged more... After all, what better place to talk about rape, racism, genocide and so on... That one where you feel safe.

[@MrStoltverd]

@@charlesreid9337 and to answer you directly... It came from their actions. One player for example, willingly got a cursed sword because of the powers it gave him. The catch? It ate souls and was feasting on his soul the whole game. At the end it could invoke a prince demon of the void. And he knew all this. Another one, used a book made with children's skin and used dark magic contained in it. He died on a hellish conflagration when the top devil came for him personally. They all did something horrible on one point of the campaign or another. And doing even just one single evil thing could cause corruption in this setting, staining the soul almost permanently and attracting the attention of devil's, that manifested with bad luck, mutations, terrible event to loved ones etc. (This is an actual mechanic of the game. The corruption system). They knew this not only because I told them on session 0, but because they dealt with devils.

[@MrStoltverd]

@@charlesreid9337 oh and I didn't even mention how they killed the children of a whole town after killing their parents, because the people were forced to worship demons by the town elders. "Can't risk any of the parents being a real demon worshipper, or the kids growing up to become one. They already have participated in demonic rites!" Which I guess was partly true since they just had defeated a demon prince summoned by parents sacrificing a couple kids... Oh man... Shadow of the demon lord. Play it. But only if you and your friends git the stomach.

[@Hoovy00]

My friend and I were playing with a group and he went down to a village on the north pole and made all the men fight to the death and those that survived were adopted and where members of "The yeti force" and he basically made the village die because the women couldn't hunt

[@BlackRainRising]

Had my players hearing about child kidnappings in town, they really didn't chase the lead so I had the lead catch up to them. They are hunting these necromancers terrorizing the area for the BBEG and were trying to get in front of them and drive them back. Well, this kidnapping lead got wind of what they were doing and met them at their next destination. They go in and meet this guy who has 8 children tied up near a pillar of the outdoor temple (Temple of Ehlonna) and he's asking them where their copper dragon friend is, he would make them a deal, for killing his green dragon mount, he would keep the green dragon collective off of them if he would tell them where their copper friend was and make it "an eye for an eye" kind of thing... he was a Black Guard of Tiamat and a Green Dragon rider. Well the rangers tried to sneak around and scoop the kids and bail through dimension doors opened by the bard, or at least that was their plan... They finally give the whereabouts of the copper dragon and he leaves them with his own friend, a Yuan-Ti Abomination he has named "Brutus", the party quickly learned he had class levels in Frenzied Berserker (I got told later this fight was really fun). The Black Guard and his entourage duck out through dimension doors of their own and as the rangers try to scoop the kids, an adult Green Dragon drops invisibility with a loud roar and activating it's aura of fear, the kids scream in complete terror, the rangers grab for the kids but at the same time the dragon lets loose it's breath weapon... the last thing the rangers see of the kids is a field of green mist and them dissolving in their hands with the terrified and pained screams fading into vanishing echos... I made them make will saves, they all failed, they now see that scene in their nightmares constantly.

[@eechee2979]

3.5e We had two Rogue-ish characters in the party ("ish" because there was multiclassing and subclassing). One was a "Ninja"... A ninja who never liked no for an answer. If she couldn't steal it, she killed for it (or tried to, given the rest of our party wasn't evil). If she failed her sleight of hand check, she would endeavor to poison the subject and use an antidote to barter for it. She'd even done this to party members. The DM, curious to see how we would handle such a contrasting character in our party, actively refused to use the campaign's setting to oust or punish this character, so we received no help there which led to carrying this character into higher levels. With combined effort, we managed to use the DM's words against him by allowing Feeblemind to be cast with Permanency on a creature. It was relatively difficult as we needed to have the DM clearly confirm that uncommon spell combinations can be researched so long as enough time is spent on it, and we needed a spell level and variables breakdown of research times while leaving no room for our DM to throw ridiculously long times at us or just say no without it being obviously arbitrary and unfair. We used a recurring nemesis as the scapegoat for our motivation to avoid the ninja's suspicions. All of our arcane casters collectively attempted to learn both spells, in case the DM chose to abuse the rules in favor of the ninja... again. We then proceeded to inflict permanent Feeblemind on the ninja while she was unconscious during combat with said nemesis, stabilized her, bound her, finally subdued our nemesis (who partly surrendered due to their delight in our ninja's punishment), eventually healed the ninja to consciousness and then attempted to explain to her while she was feebleminded why we did it. We then sold her for cheap (basically just gave her away) to a brothel. The player wasn't satisfied with leaving it at that, so the DM decided to change the narrative so she would get kicked out of the brothel for trying to kill someone and end up wandering the streets until some random high wizard or something miraculously stumbled upon her and removed her Feeblemind. She came after us but we'd already considered that possibility and just kicked the shit out of her, bound her, healed her, kicked the shit out of her again, rinsed and repeated until she finally gave up her character after several failed bluff attempts. I think that was the worst I've ever treated a player character. Looking back, I now realize our DM was probably trying to get in the ninja player's pants.

[@MetallicD3ath]

I don't remember if I told this story already, but this was a Call of Cthulu one shot. First time I've ever played CoC, actually. Well, your typical Call of Cthulu type stuff is going on. Cults, abominations, insanity. What this boils down to is (and forgive me, I may be taking some artistic liberties here, as I don't remember specifically), the cult is, or has been, doing some sort of ritual on a baby. Well, the lot of us go in to interrupt the ritual, and the building ends up going up in flames. I, being the "completely sane" person who doesn't want any of this to continue, decide "hey, this baby is the source of all the trouble in town. I can't possibly leave it here for someone else to find and rescue." So I take the baby...and throw it into the fire.

[@sharks4thecupkelanowen764]

I played a campaign where my buddy had a dog that he found and planned to take in as his pet. Suddenly, we came across a boss fight that our DM had planned in this basement of a manor. The setting was a dark and cold basement, with a stone table set in the middle. After some good rolls, I figured out that this table was for sacrificing to the monster. I picked up my friend’s dog, sacrificed it without any hesitation, and saved our party from fighting the monster. My buddy was so mad at me 😂😂

[@martymcmeme5362]

Im a dm, and my first “boss” was a bandit king. Long story short my players cut off all his limbs and carried him on the barbarian’s back before later in the campaign he died by falling off his back into a pit of lava

[@quinbast3763]

The lover of my character was put on trial for the killing of the emperor (which he totally did) and it was put to trial by combat. The party were desguised in the crowd casting spells to help him. In the end, my friend was bested and my character freaked out and used the last spell scroll she had (circle of death) and killed 180 civilians and most of the guards of the kingdom in one shot. She was put to death after this but man, solid session

[@captainmorganiv1034]

We vaporized a sad diseased banker We were sneaking into a city we were... Not welcome in The bard pretended to be a noble from a new country that rose at the end of a big war and whenever we did something completely stupid we just said "eh that's how it's done in hoggenschpeele" Hint hoggenschpeele didn't exist We had accidentally signed a paper that if inspected would reveal we aren't actually a country And the banker was keeping it in his briefcase The bard then makes the logical decision to dress up as a lady and seduce the banker... NATURAL FUCKING 20 We later learn this banker has like 45 separate diseases and hates his job and we decided it would be much more merciful to just kill him So the bard leads him into the forest where the rogue is waiting Now instead of just stabbing the poor banker like a NORMAL PERSON he decided to throw a... He decided to throw a dart NATURAL FUCKING 20 He is an assassin rogue Also so yeah but guess what **HE ROLLED M A X D A M A G E** The DM describes as the dart hits the poor defenseless diseased banker who has a maximum health of 2 and vaporized him with like 76 points of damage The entire party wanted to give him a proper burial but there was nothing left to bury At the end of the session the DM describes how the banker is in the afterlife playing in a meadow with all the dogs cats and other animals he couldn't play with before because he was deathly allergic And that was the story of how we killed Harold (weenie hut) the banker Edit: later the bard found some dust on his shirt and tossed it on a man in an outhouse just trying to take a poo

[@I_do_stuff_like_games]

That first one was actually hilarious-

[@retosius7962]

I'm currently playing a warlock under the homebrewed patron the patchwork. basically I am required to spread creations, divinate with my patron, and make a cult in exchange for powerful magic. well on the first one since it's fairly early on I made 50 teddy bears that i decided to put glyph of warding set to use pyrotechnics when the bear is destroyed. I decided to give one to a child. what i didn't expect was to roll to see how the child would treat it, roll a 5, and see the cfhild fucking rip the bear's head off while staring straight into the bear. well he was knocked unconscious and had his face singed and was now traumatized by fucking teddy bears. I backed off slowly then fucking ran, picked up our NPC party member who fucking froze up from the sight of a child having a teddy bear exploding in his face. I also threw the teddy bears into the cloth shop that I bought the teddy bear materials from who btw tried to steal money from me by I KID YOU NOT by hiding the price tags in his pocket. my character's backstory is that he's a past criminal and trickster, so I fucking knew it was bullshit and rolled a nat 20 to call bullshit. part of the reason was to punish the guy for trying to steal from a past thief and to get rid of evidence. win win.

[@tgime3]

I was DM in a 3.5 game. In the opening night of the campaign the heroes' home village is of coarse being raided. But these are demon summoning mages. Between fights and trying to save as many people as possible, a little girl comes running out of a globe of darkness screaming for help. The party scoops her up and makes it about 3 steps before the delayed blast fireball planted on her explodes severely damaging the adventurers with flaming child gore and bone shapnel.

[@walk2574]

So.... I was a triton cross class fighter sorcerer and we were interrogating a goblin.... I had grabbed another goblins body and used shape water to take all the blood out of the body and choked the other one with it for interrogation..... then after we were done with him I suffocated him with shape water by contracting his lungs till he was unconscious, I left him alive though so he would spread rumours ( lungs are 82% water and blood is 92% water so we all decided that shape water worked on them). Oh yeah... I also made the goblin drink. every. last. drop. of his fallen comrades blood. (Edit: extra story and grammatical corrections)

[@jacthing1]

so...blood bending?

[@walk2574]

jacthing1 yea, pretty much

[@ChannelName66]

I still kind of new to playing so I haven’t done much stuff, but I created a special attack. I called it the static ball shock. I used Shocking Grasp on enemy’s testes.

[@crowflight105]

Not me, the DM The DM got my sister attached to a dog in a dnd campaign and had it incinerated right in front of her character

[@crowflight105]

Jeremiah Wiggershaus 1 Dm hasn’t seen jojos 2 I haven’t seen jojos 3 This was before jojos was popular 4 I swear everything these days is a “jojos reference”

[@iwatchstuffs7933]

The one with the dust explosion is literally goblin Slayer ahahahhaha

[@TheManInBlueFlames]

I have an idea for a video Mr. Ripper: *What are the funniest moments you've had with a character/encounter with charm person/hypnotic gaze/any possession spell?!* Send your stories in below!

[@MrRipper]

Oh I like!

[@MrRipper]

If can't find something like it, I might ask the question!

[@TheManInBlueFlames]

@@MrRipper Yes do! There's been at least two or three instances of that type of spell being used in the two campaigns I've played and they've all been pretty wack. I'm sure there are lots of good stories out there in the KZbin comments sections!

[@WolfBoy-om6dw]

@@MrRipper dnd pet storys?

[@collkev]

So, I'm playing a bard with little offensive capabilities since we're level 1. A bunch of Orcs attacked us on the ship we were travelling in, and I did the best thing I could do. Charm an Orc with Charm Person and make him push his crew-mates into the sea. A long, bloody combat later I realised that I only had like 5 minutes left on charm person. So I told the Orc that I forgot something on the island and that I really need it. So he goes Commando, giving me EVERYTHING he has and skinny dips in the ocean. We later hear him yell out my name furiously in pain and agony, swearing that he'll destroy everything I hold dear to my heart. That's how a reoccurring villain is born, and his name is Grunk

[@unprankable666]

That first story though 🤣🤣🤣. I don't think I've ever heard of someone doing something that messed up. It sounds like something I would do.

[@TubingBread]

In one campaign half of my party was killed by a huge group of orcs. We found a map on one of the officers we killed. It showed the orc’s base. With the remaining characters consisting of a dwarven barbarian (me), a human rogue, a tuba I rogue, a human cleric, and an elven paladin. The paladin was lawful good. I made a plan. We made Molotovs and when we went in the dm basically gave me an involuntary rage because of the lost of my 2 best friend’s (irl) character’s and my NPC fellow warrior. I was tossing Molotov upon Molotov. I tore up an orc with my hands (nat 20, max damage). We then came upon a locked room with a metal door. I asked the dm, “Can I roll to open it?” I tried and nat 1ed it. I then asked if I could tear the door away. It worked. I was some fucking demon. Inside were 50 orcs. Only 10 were soldiers but a couple had crossbows and shot me twice (2 and 4 damage) and my other clan member (max damage, he was only at 3, RIP). There was kids in it. I threw in like, 8 Molotovs. I then threw in more oil and then jammed the door in. Before I could however, the paladin tried to stop me, I threw him in too (the guy was a dick irl). I then shut the door. The thing that actually haunts me is the fact that I didn’t try to stop the rage and it was all sort of voluntary (had to role play). When we came back up an orc hunting party saw us with their loot. I just tackled them, to let my party members get away. (Just saying, these orcs were evil down to the bone, they razed an entire village to the ground and killed all the inhabitants just because one man didn’t bow low enough.) Tldr: Murdered an entire clan of orcs including kids just because they were a wee bit evil.

[@asmodeus6380]

back in 3.5, and was just starting D&D. Was a bit of a murderhobo back in the day. So, thinking the setting was similar to Skyrim, were necromancy is a bit taboo but not outright outlawed, I casually asked a TOWN GUARD were I could find a Necromancer to train me (I was level 1 at the time). The guy looked at me and asked my party if I was crazy. My guy was offended by the comment, and after a few exchanged threats and a curse (no, not the spell;), he storms off to the tavern. Later that night I used the total of my prestidigitations and burning hands to set fire to the whole village (turns out building an entire village out of wood was not a bright choice of materials). The party didn't know it was me and suspected it was part of the plot. Nearly 100 people died that night, and it earned me enough xp to advance to level 3; This character turned into a Lich, and to this day I still occasionally use him as a villain in the campaigns I run as a dm.

[@arklaw8306]

I split the party.

[@BrianVaughnVA]

HOW COULD YOU!

[@formula2233]

Pure evil

[@brotmeister9559]

11:40: My party visited an oracle once that would answer one question if you made it past the icy tunnels leading up to its chamber. However, the oracle would only answer a question per person once per one hundred years with groups who came together counting as one person. The players make it, the oracle appears. "What is your question?" Enter the half-giant warrior. "If go back... and go through dungeon once again...can ask another question?" "No."

[@Troleandocreyentes]

I always wonder a necromancer can manipulate a whip techincally it is leather, dead skin so it is posible?

[@BrianVaughnVA]

.....This is a very interesting idea! I mean in Diablo a Necromancer can actually manipulate "bone" constructs and use'm as spears....

[@PerpetualGM]

In a d20 Conan game, I had a player Barbarian use the other players that he was chained to as make-shift flails and bludgeons during a slave uprising. I had to answer, "So...how much damage does it do when I hit someone with the Thief" on the fly. "Uh...they do their hit dice type in damage...why not?"

[@lynncheng4094]

Slapped my dying brother’s boyfriend with his blood as I told him he’d never be forgiven for his sins

[@lynncheng4094]

Kat Murphy Shooting my brother in front of me and torturing him emotionally for decades. Also being mean to me about my height Edit: Spelling

[@Grandhighdruid]

My best friend in high school was DMing a Dragonlance campaign (I don't remember which one) and we had the normal characters (2 fighters, a ranger, a cleric, a wizard) and my character who was a kender. Now for those who are unfamiliar with kender, they are a spedial type of halfling only on Krynn, the Dragonlance world. Kender are childlike in most ways, are VERY good thieves, and VERY curious AND have NO FEAR. As you can imagine, this can be a very dangerous combination, when played like kender are supposed to be (which I did, much to the party's shagrin). We were exploring a cave that seemed to be leading into a dungeon. The DM had constructed what I will basically describe as a room trap which was, for all intents and purposes, a toilet. After the party got into the room, my character saw a level and immediately pulled it to see what it would do. This activated the trap and, to make a long story short, nearly drowned the entire party. After that whenever I started to do ANYTHING the phrase 'grab the kender' was instantly nearly shouted by at least one (and usually several) people.

[@ajgunter8932]

Had a DM literally drop an Ancient Green Dragon out of nowhere on top of the party while walking thru a forest. We reacted faster than he expected and killed the dragon in only like 3 rounds. After it died it depolymorphed into an elven child. Apparently the child/dragon had been transformed as a cruel joke and was coming to us for help. We responded by ripping his heart out...fml

[@LlorDrei]

In a Spelljammer game, was in a skyship with the party over a major city we needed to go to. A fleet of enemy skyships below us.I come up with the brilliant idea of combining the vials of salamander fire I had with the helm bomb in the ship... which no one explained to me was the equivalent of a mini tactical nuke. Needless to say... A flash fills the sky, as all the skyships circling below us are instantly vaporized... along with the city, and a good deal of the woods around the city, the God of Death briefly seen within the flash of light... Got rid of the enemy skyships, though!

[@ZesTofthelemon]

7th comment, lucky me~

[@roguehades2348]

Man that vampire was so wholesome it was a twist but a wholesome one.

[@o.d.d.792]

1st

[@funnyblog100]

Actually I beat you by three minutes. Sorry bud.

[@o.d.d.792]

funnyblog100 um, did you use the newest setting on the comment section

[@funnyblog100]

@@o.d.d.792 idk

[@FruitNDoggie]

8:10 After reading the journal, my thought was to try and play on the vampire's fragile mind and pretend to be one of his children dying of the plague. Man, I'd have felt kind of guilty afterwards. Kind of.

[@funnyblog100]

First to comment! Finally!

[@Cthulhu4President]

We were playing in a modern day setting as a bunch of seemingly regular folks who happened to also be spellcasters. My character was your average drug-addled college drunk. The DM had seen fit to slip in the fact that apparently my character was Half Demon, born from a Duke of Hell. I got some cool powers, the easiest to use being the ability to summon hellfire at will. This becomes important later. In one early fight, we're up against some nondescript guys in suits on a staircase. My character gets knocked down to his knees, directly in front of one of the suits. I simply smiled and said "I light my hand on fire, reach up, and grab a handful of honey-roasted nuts." It took my DM several actual minutes to get what I meant even though everyone else was trying super hard to keep a straight face. The DM finally gets it and laughs so hard he pees himself. While still trying to choke down his laughter, the DM decides to continue. The suit I violated grab his now burned and bleeding crotch as he falls to his own knees. I then proceed to light up my other hand, grab him by the neck and use hellfire to fuse his throat shut. End Scene.

[@BYERE]

Geez... that story about the vampire, at 7:34 No wonder the party cried after that...

[@LoudAngryJerk]

one of the other players got an air ship. That player's character had been warned not to cast mind-affecting spells on my character without his permission. He did. While we were about 1000 feet in the air he cast sleep on my fighter. My fighter was wearing a homebrew item called ring of spell-return. It was basically a reverse uno card on any spell, that got destroyed whenever I decided to use it as a reaction. It was an attunement item that I got explicitly to protect myself against spells cast by him. While he didn't know about the item, I did, again, explicitly warn him not to do what he did. Anyway, he cast sleep essentially on himself, and in response my fighter grabbed him, before anyone could respond, and threw him over the side. the effects of the spell ended just in time for him to hit the ground. he did not appreciate that.

[@retosius7962]

you did warn him. honestly i would have tied him to the front of the ship by his ankles.

[@LoudAngryJerk]

@@retosius7962 I'm just glad someone understood my rambling.

[@MaPleWoRlDOrder]

I have placed multiple bodies in my bag of holding in front of the party's cleric while he just death stares at me. My character was a goblin named Goblin and I would collect shoes wherever I could find them. In one game an entire town was put into a trance and started to slaughter each other. So, my character went around to all the bodies in the street and started to put their shoes in my bag of holding

[@off-topiconhottopic2815]

I rolled a 20 and transformed a horror one-shot into a necroerotic one-shot

[@johannmueller9660]

I decided to allow one of the players to make his own a gun. This is 3.0 D&D and there is a pict of guy he wanted to play. since it only does 1D10 damage, with a 3 round reload time, I decide to allow it as long as he takes "Gunsmith" and "Alchemy" and keeps them at the highest as he levels up [gunpower was considered a magic item]. Fast forward to level 10, and they are up against an army of undead lead by a necromancer. One of my friends returned from a two year stint in the army [the 2nd gulf war] and wanted to play. He makes a normal Cleric character, uses "Create Undead" on one of the dead players [with permission] loads a barrel of gunpower filled with daggers, nails and scraps of metal into the torso of the zombie [basically an IED], gives the zombie a torch and orders it to walk up the the necromancer and light the fuse... no more necromancer.

[@rinthewolf]

Playing a space themed game. I'm an engineer and accidentally kill an enemy pirate captain's girlfriend by sucking all the air of her room when hacking. Later, when we stole a small ship and tried to run, my friend said that he had brought her body along with him because... reasons i guess. When we heard the pirate fleet was chasing us, I decided to have our medic hollow out the dead woman and stuff her full of explosives, setting a detonator that would react to a rise in temperature. Then we tossed her out the airlock so that she would crash into the window of the lead ship. The captain, seeing his dead lover on his windshield, had her brought in and cradled her body as he swore vengeance on us. That's when the sensor went off and blew him and the ship up. Another player asked if the explosion would set off the weapons on the ship. Turns out, when the lead ship in a space armada suddenly explodes, all the ships following it tend to explod on contact with the resulting fireball. TLDR: Turned a space-pirate's dead girlfriend into a corpsebomb that blew up him, his ship, and his whole armada.

[@sammokthegrey4992]

I played a bard in a post apocalyptic/re-awakened magic setting, that had some bags of holding that had everything one could think of. I always had the most random things in there that I always found ways to MacGuyver into out of the box solutions. I once was teleported just out of Earth’s atmosphere and was able to use a gas canister to propel myself back towards the Earth. Still lost consciousness and suffered near death burns, but I was nearing god-hood at level 42, so I survived in the end, although not without losing a lot of non magical gear and requiring extensive healing magic. Anyway, around level 20-25’ish, the party was in a mass scale battle with a Drow army. I had feathered wings so I could fly around, picking up soldiers and dropping them to their deaths. I picked up a sorcerer and just decided to cast a force cage around us, though I don’t remember why. It quickly became apparent that none of this low level caster’s spells could penetrate my natural damage resistance, even at max damage and me willfully taking one the DC check. I laughed at the guy, started rummaging through on of my bags, pulled out an acid flask and looked at him menacingly (roll intimidate, he nearly shat himself), then shook my finger as if to say, “no I got something better for you”. I then pulled out what was essentially a water ballon, but filled with urine. I then mockingly shouted something like “acid splash” and drenched the guy with piss. He immediately broke down in tears from the complete degradation of it all; his centuries of training, his clamoring up the Drow hierarchy, all to be brought down and humiliated in this grand battle for the surface, covered in some iblith’s piss.

[@Wirmish]

Our group was in the city of Cauldron (D&D 3E). The DM asked my Cleric (11th level) to roll a d100. I got 100! The DM announced that an Elder Dragon had just woken up and was emerging from the lake in the centre of the volcano. I had the initiative. I cast the _Harm_ spell and touched it. He missed his saving throw and ended up with 4 HP. I killed it the next round with a _Searing Light._ The locals erected a statue in my honor.

[@toadofsteel]

One time, I played a wizard who *really* liked his hat. During a fight at level 3 against some bandits, one crossbow-wielding bandit rolled so bad on an attack that he missed my abysmal AC by 1. The DM said "You feel the bolt hit your hat, which goes flying off and lands on the ground behind you." It was meant to be a fluff piece, and the DM offered me a single cast of mage hand as a bonus action to recover the hat. I had other ideas. Taking a cue from the "he shot my hair" scene in Spaceballs, I decide on the spot that my character really liked his hat and that shooting it threw him into a frenzy. I use my one alloted "bonus action mage hand" to reach into the bag of the party Barbarian, who was carrying around the head of a bugbear we had killed several sessions before. I summon the mage hand carrying the head back to me, and place the bugbear head on my own head. DM has me make two rolls. First a CON save. Fair enough, I pass with flying colors. Then, an intimidation check. Fail. That crossbow guy shoots me again on his next turn. Another near-miss, so the bolt is now lodged into the bugbear head. Deciding I wasn't intimidating enough, I look down next to me, where the party's druid in wolf form had just ripped off the head of another bandit. I pick up the head the wolfdruid had just dropped, and stuck it onto the bolt sticking out of the bugbear head, on top of my own head. My character is now shouting in Draconic (which he knows), which as a player I interpret for roleplay purposes as "shouting in Hulk Speak". Once again pass a CON save. Once again fail an intimidation check, even despite advantage. The bandit ONCE AGAIN shoots at my head, and for a third time near-misses, lodging yet another bolt into my stack of heads. I'm pissed that my intimidate checks aren't working, so I straight-up charge at the bandit, lowering my head in the process, and essentially attacking with an improvised weapon: a melee attack with the bolt sticking out of the top of the stack of heads. Keep in mind, I'm a wizard, with the requisite garbage strength stat. Natural. 20. The bandit was already at low HP from other people in the party, so the DM has me roll damage as though the bolt was fired normally, and doubled as per crit rules. So I fluff it in my Draconic/Hulk Speak as "YOU SHOT MY HAT! NOW BECOME HAT!" The bolt ends up slicing the bandit's neck and decapitating him, with his head now capping off my tower of heads. By this point, the combat was basically over. Everyone in the party stops and looks at me like I have three heads. The DM flat-out tells me "If you try some stupid shit like that again I'm forcing your alignment to change to chaotic evil." We ended up on settling for a compromise where I would have to roll a Wisdom save if my hat was forcibly removed (DC10 for knocked off accidentally, DC15 if it was downright stolen). Later on we retconned it as being that my hat was my arcane focus, and that I had to be within 50 feet for it to work.

[@genericbackgroundcharacter4252]

In one campaign we infiltrated a drow city in the underdark. When snooping around we discover a group of 60 drow training in the Courtyard in formations. The druid cast several stone spike spells between us and the drow so they can't swarm us. Our wizard snuck up on the other side and cast wind turrent tossing dozens of drow through the stone spikes . The drow were blended instantly. Then the wizard gets highest initiative and cast the spell again sending dozens more through the spikes. The remaining 18 drow fail their moral check and take off running. The druid then cast stone spike under their feet and they die.

[@danielzoller6911]

Willingly walked into black mirror at the start of the Tomb of Horrors module.

[@SharpSquid_12]

One time when me and my party were battling a big bad evil guy well gal we literally took away every single way for her to attack, we blinded her, cut off both her hands and her tail. Yes our dm was plainly traumatized

[@axer112]

Mine also spawned the best one liner... "GM, how much blood does a baby have?"

[@archellothewolf2083]

I literally just saw this after a game where my Sorcerer with Tavern Brawler picked up a bandit and beat the bandit leader to death with him via the Green Flame Blade cantrip. Bandits count as improvised weapons and GFB requires a weapon attack as part of the spell. All the while our party's cleric *accidentally* killed all the other bandits by making them attack each other via the Sanctuary spell as he ran back and forth healing everyone with a healer's kit. The rest of the party kept missing their attacks and pretty much just watched in horror as two of the most underrated level one powers were used to peak disturbing efficiency.

[@GregJonson]

That dust bomb thing though. That is a story of heroic sacrifice.

[@lex5938]

Dm here I was doing a run of The Lost Mines of Phandelver and my players just beat the first boss. They have convinced the “eye monster” to not fight them and they had a goblin (Droop) helping them, the goblin had helped them find the boss room really fast and was a nice person. They decided that because the eye monster, that had just let them pass, was so helpful that they wanted to feed it the goblin. They ended up failing since the goblin could hear everything and ran away. Btw this was a party of 2 neutral, 1 good and 1 evil party.

[@wolfflamekindl9339]

I played an all rounder. true nuetral, Half Vampire lore Bard with a dip into Rogue. His temper was one not easily roused, and a saying was coined, "Hell hath no fury like a Bard betrayed." A Duke and campaign boss(about a level 20 fighter) was killed by the group, and my Bard wasn't finished. He told the others to leave, and proceeded to cast 7th level resurrect on the Duke.... Just to kill him one on one. The final words between them? Bard: "They say that sometimes we reincarnate as what we resemble most. So I'll make sure to squash every cockroach I see." And proceeded to do the thing with his fangs.

[@ryanm6004]

As of right now, I’ve only played one session, but it would probably be during the “boss” fight when our bard put almost all but one of the minions to sleep and I incapacitated the “boss” and then we walked around a slit the throats of all the now sleeping goblins. Pretty tame by d&d standards, but again- that was my first and only(so far) session of d&d