What Teenagers Want You to Know | Roy Petitfils | TEDxVermilionStreet

Our biggest fear isn't being rejected, it's being invisible. Roy Petitfils discusses the invisibility epidemic faced by teenagers and what we can do to help.
Roy Petitfils, LPC, has worked with teens for over 20 years as a minister, teacher, administrator, school counselor and now as a therapist in private practice. He’s published four books, including, “What Teens Want You To Know (But Don’t Tell You).” His blue collar roots, natural humor, contagious enthusiasm and diverse background have made him an internationally sought after presenter for both teen and adult audiences. Roy lives with his wife of 14 years, Mindi, and their two sons Max and Ben in Youngsville, Louisiana.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@Jmcmick]

I swear adults always say teenagers are antisocial but when i take my dog on a walk and greet people on the trail adults answer the least

[@redyoshi777]

Yeah, I'm a 15-year old introverted teenager who still says hi and good morning to people, and 70% of people try to act like they didn't see me.

[@cupidshootmagic3428]

Don't smile at me

[@elenagibbons4719]

Plus they’re probably mean asocial and not antisocial.

[@NedInYaHead]

Adults are afraid of teenagers

[@kagger911]

Because parents are full of contradicting sayings.

[@luko3artist399]

What teenagers want: To be heard To not be patronised To have our ideas considered and not dismissed

[@sonnyfox60]

To be considered learning adults. Not little children who don’t know how to do anything and don’t have any responsibility, and not adults who should be able to do most things without fail. We need you to let us find our destination but we also need you to make sure we get their.

[@verbon47]

basically, also if we do something wrong TELL us not just yell. educate. it seems alot of parents have lost that thesee days

[@IRonMan-kw2jp]

What? Meh

[@IRonMan-kw2jp]

Psych, I have two teenage boys and I strive to treat them as equally as is appropriate. Their mother and I decided early on that we would let them teach us who they were, rather than telling them who to be. You know what? They taught me who I was too.

[@Love-m6u]

You actually mean teenagers want to live.😁😂 😥😭

[@SharkGuru9000]

This is the first and only time I have ever seen "all teens want is attention" in a positive manner and honestly it's really touching

[@alexchong6524]

It’s truly touching. I teared while watching this.

[@raflamar4146]

They call us failures.... when they’re the ones who failed to raise us.

[@danahansen5427]

For those of you with a religious bent, you may have heard of the "Prayer of Jabez". Be careful if you pray this prayer; I did, and my boundaries were increased ... to include the lives of a family of four youngsters plus a desperately struggling mom. My wife and I are effectively grandfolks to this family. That includes 'seeing' them. It also includes giving them unconditional love. Thanks for the TED talk.

[@tristantheoofer2]

alot of actually need it in some way. the reason we look for attention for our problems is bc we dont get any

[@donovandouglas6817]

I dont. I would rather be left alone. Maybe from past experiences. Idk

[@Jake38nine]

And those invisible teenagers grow up to be invisible adults. It doesn't just stop at the teenage years. It can go into adulthood too.

[@luckypunch89]

yeah thats what I thought too. Its not only teenagers who desperately wanna be seen. I think humankind desperately needs to been.

[@sorrowandsufferin924]

Great point, one mistake: It's not "can go into adulthood". It's "will go into adulthood".

[@camilafilosafia333]

I think instead of this creating invisible adults it should push people into becoming visible and changing the cycle by making visible those of the next generation.

[@Jake38nine]

@@sorrowandsufferin924 not necessarily. "Can" means there's a possibility. "Will" means it's absolute. Some people will grow out of it like a phase.

[@Jake38nine]

@@camilafilosafia333 I don't even remember what this video is about. My YT notifications came up with your comment and I just notice I have one of the most liked comments. Lol.

[@rottencopper1833]

My parents would always tease me about being in my room all the time and would call me a hermit or a shudden but that always made it harder to actually get out of my room

[@springstar4793]

@@alizanazir14 same. they only think im here cuz of my mobile and laptop

[@andrewmirror4611]

Yeah, you don't want people that are bad to you feel good on the fact that they were bad to you. That's why I only lost weight when I stopped being constantly told to

[@MelonLord8]

Me too

[@_wowzaimshook_9368]

My dad always says I’m in the dark. But thats because of the window because of the way the shades don’t completely close. The neighbors are across there and I’m afraid they’ll see me in my room if the bright light is on. Keep in mind they’re ALWAYS out there smoking, looking across at our place and looking over the ledge talking to people walking by.

[@aviationdude9546]

Same

[@mochiattoart514]

My parents: "why r u always in your room?" Me: * gets out* Then: Oh wow, you _finally_ came out Don't you know how discouraging that can be? When you try to do something but get shunned for not having done it sooner?

[@Ludicrousism]

Same

[@minikipp8549]

Yeah i finally pluck up the courage to go to tesco by myself or decide to be social at an even, an they are like ooh shes coming out of her shell for the first time took her long enough

[@ImAmity]

My parents literally do this almost weekly. I have locked myself away in my room for 2 years now, and everytime they are suprised or shocked that I have come out, and it drives me to want to put myself away even more.

[@binguspogglebonk7089]

I hate it when they discourage the behavior they want to see

[@mochiattoart514]

@@Agent-cj5uk Sameee, they also don't like me locking the door =.=

[@that_one_av57]

This guy sounds like he’s at the verge of crying yet he can’t stop making jokes. It made my brain oof

[@BaldMancTwat]

That sounds like teenagers to me. Seems like they picked the right guy.

[@helleboreofficial4692]

*_sad oof intensifies_*

[@lorddeezus523]

That's my life tho...

[@saraneff6831]

Comedy is a popular coping mechanism. If you can make people laugh instead of feel sorry for you it doesn't hurt as badly

[@angelinaa676]

did you just summarize gen z in one sentence? impressive

[@trippymemez8759]

As a teenager the only thing I want people to know is please knock on my door before you enter my room.

[@square2037]

SO true

[@kodywhittaker4437]

Yesssssss

[@dianeinsertlastnamehere7296]

I mean, that is somewhat like this message: they're paying attention to your wants and needs instead of treating you like you're not there, like they're walking into an empty room.

[@ixalaz4536]

As a teenager, I want people to know that depression doesn't go away if I cheer up and if I talk and smile for a few minutes, I didn't stop being depressed.

[@ixalaz4536]

As a teenager, I also want people to accept me, even if they don't understand me.

[@wellplague]

Adults always say we need to “learn how to make our own choices” or “be more responsible” but when it’s a decision that actually effects our life the most we suddenly are not allowed to have any input.

[@fionamariano9240]

Yeah when i want to make my own choice and they just opposes everything...... i cant understand them

[@starricerulean1721]

i just told my mom that when people turn fourteen in my state they are legally allowed to make decisions with their health. her response? "My children aren't.-If you think you need that kind of help. (she just guessed this, and it's referring to mental help) Then you can call Uncle ----------" oh, and she was using the fact that we need her and my dad to get places as a way to easily prevent that. she even brought it up in that conversation.

[@Lingosharp]

My mom had me change what I wanted to major in. I knew once she got involved in my education I was screwed out what I wanted to do.

[@mr.prodarkknight5698]

Absolutely true

[@ignitedprithgaming9269]

Exactly

[@winkwonk6361]

when his voice cracked when he said "my wife" i teared up

[@Badboyifier]

He overcame the impossible

[@nithyasreesathyanarayanan5611]

I felt the same way 😢

[@occasionalfan-content4771]

I teared up at the last story, he’s an amazing voice actor!

[@christopherlewallen1829]

@PenguTheOfficial 7:57

[@kanooklapook414]

Teenagers want you to know that their problems, like the ones of children, adults, and the elderly alike, are deeper than a 5 sentence paragraph, a 3 page multiple choice test, or anything you can write on a college application

[@billyosullivan4514]

Teenagers have a suprioty complex and think they have deep issues cus we have never had hardship

[@khaliah7754]

@@billyosullivan4514 Are you speaking from your own experience? Many people, children and teens included, have had hardship in various ways, so I doubt the majority of teens have superiority complexes.

[@billyosullivan4514]

@@khaliah7754 Hardships are nothing to do with superiority complexes and generally its not hard being a tee.

[@khaliah7754]

@@billyosullivan4514 Again, difficulties vary from person to person, and teens are no different from that. Now, why do you think teens have superiority complexes? Yes, we may exaggerate how difficult something is, but we often react instinctively.

[@billyosullivan4514]

@@khaliah7754 Ill tell you why "Yes, we may exaggerate how difficult something is, but we often react instinctively."

[@Hope4thebest]

Me: Trying to make a valid point. Adults: This is not a kid's conversation. Me: Keeping my mouth shut Adults: Why are you disrespecting?

[@78anurag]

Why do people hate children just because of our age? We also deserve our rights. (Limited, Yes. But right now we don't even have a bit of a right)

[@Superbatmanbro]

😤😤😤😡😡 really frustrating that they do that

[@expresso4thedeppresso]

I feel this in my s o u l

[@ohpolary]

Amongus?

[@Im_inside_your_walls_teehee]

Parent: *Begins to argue* Me: *argues back* Parent: DON'T DISRESPECT ME Me: *keeps quiet* Parent: ANSWER ME I'M NOT A W A L L

[@anti_MATT_er]

When asked if bullying was a problem in my school, I would always say no, we mostly ignore each other. We all have our circles and the ones who don't have a circle are just left to wander.

[@bobbyswanson3498]

Matt Nguyen so true, and if there is bullying it’s usually doesn’t affect the person who’s bullied bc it’s so secretive

[@iitimaii8011]

And don't forget how the groups HATE each other and fight ALL the time. Also, the wanderer's are often just... Looked down upon. But, no one needs to know that. We're all happy, said NO ONE EVER, but mom! I'm perfectly "fine"!

[@harveyjames6777]

Matt Nguyen school is just many social circles avoiding the other circles and some kids who don't get into any of those circles bouncing from circle to circle

[@tiffanychan5737]

Matt Nguyen same

[@10kirneh]

I'm in one circle kind of cross fading into other circles when I feel like it.

[@otterwoods8881]

I think it hurts more to get fake attention like when it feels like your parents are forcing themselves to be around you and anything you say or do is forgotten by everyone they're there but not really there

[@kelebogilesegwati7399]

Bruh

[@iristeixeira3797]

i felt this

[@zachmeyer2718]

Ouch

[@RowingGameDev]

i feel like this alot im not fully sure if this is the case but i do feel like this alot and it sucks it especially happened a lot when i was much younger because the only people around me were like 20 while i was only 7 and i just felt extremely unwanted at times

[@ritzieratc1116]

Otter Woods right? I hate it when I try to show my parents a drawing I’ve made and they don’t even look at it, they just say “okay cool” or something.

[@snifferproductions9651]

Me: *makes a valid point in an argument* Parents: H O W D A R E Y O U D I S R E S P E C T M E

[@Anorak1357]

Cool dude I know right

[@tajamulkhan75]

So goddamn true

[@БаракОбама-ч6з]

Lil_Wine_Bottle ikt

[@БаракОбама-ч6з]

ikr

[@datboi1026]

relatable 100

[@ellac8958]

I was in class and I think my teacher was in a bad mood. This girl walked up to her to ask her a question and the teacher yelled at her. The girl didn't show any disrespect so I instantly knew it was wrong of her to yell at this girl. I told my teacher that "all she did was ask a question so you don't need to yell". She gave me a detention, but why was what I did considered wrong? The fact is it was not wrong at all. I only received this because I'm a child and a child can NOT know anything. They always say stand up when somebody is being mistreated or somebody is being rude, but if it's the teacher I guess it doesn't apply. I didn't try to go against it or tell any other teachers because I didn't want to make it worse besides who would believe a child.

[@chriscarr6791]

You have to remember that there are many teachers, many people, who have gone through some thing or event that Roy described briefly. The most important thing is to do your best to use the words you speak and the actions you make to leave the situation in a positive light and mood. As hard as that may seem for many circumstances or people, remember that they too were once our age and may still be as sensitive as we are sometimes.

[@krishm_2359]

Respect to you for standing up for her

[@blokvader8283]

I hate the "I deserve respect because I'm older than you" mentality.

[@huh_what_]

@@Jack-zw5qn How do u know issa guy tho

[@suktadas9737]

@@blokvader8283 I strongly agree with you.

[@BetteDavis19]

"i dont know how to not avoid them but i dont want them to avoid me" this made me cry. Im a 17 year old girl too and ive never known how exactly to express it but i feel this exact way about adults. i wish i could talk to this guy he sounds incredible.

[@roypetitfils]

Thanks BB! I appreciate you watching and commenting. I'm so glad my words resonated with you and "named" one aspect of your (what is I'm sure vast) inner experience of yourself. Best to you my friend!

[@kerimira4882]

Yes, you expect them to read your mind then blame them and yourself when they don't do anything.

[@charlottelifestruggles8552]

Roy Petitfils thankyou so much for this The tears are still streamimg down my face haha happy tears mostly because as a teen i am so thankful that someone who is an adult can see this major issue. Thanks for this, sincerely a teenager wanting theyre mum to notice theyre problems

[@munnibaithakur2709]

BoggessBroadway we are going gg

[@WoodStepp]

?

[@fatiguetm1975]

"teenagers are experience rich, but language poor." these. these are some wise words, and they hit home.

[@mrcookie9828]

No, teens don't have any life experience

[@CatfishMan131]

@@mrcookie9828 they’re experiencing a lot of things for the first time. Rich in quality not quantity.

[@walkerlocker6126]

"you didn't have the words yet to articulate what the problem was" is something I learned in therapy. Now that we're old enough to know the words, we're not staying quiet anymore.

[@Jamuakarrumput]

@@CatfishMan131 does that mean experiencing something the first time is somehow "better" than experiencing it 2nd time ?

[@elimidd6626]

Teenagers are expected to act like adults but are still treated like children. Even being 18 and living with my parents I didnt magically get the attention society deems worthy of Adults Only. I had a talk with my mom a few months ago about saying thank you to Me for simply doing the dishes or setting the table and she got upset with me, making me feel like I wasnt worthy of the simple act of being thanked. Later once I'd calmed down and she was driving me to a meet up with friends I said to her "you expect me to say 'thank you' after this car ride right? Cause that's the decent thing to do" and she said yes and I said "all I was saying is that I wish you'd extend the same courtesy to me" and she apologized, saying sometimes she guessed she forgot her pleases and thank you's. I wish I could have more moments like that with my parents, where they would actually listen to what I'm trying to say rather than immediately jumping on the grumpy sullen teenager train, as he said: we are experience rich and vocabulary poor and we need people, Especially adults to reach out to us cause sometimes we dont know how, or its misconstrued as something that's just a "teenager problem"

[@daughter_of_hades5312]

I don't even care for "thank you" that much but sometimes hearing "sorry" would be nice...

[@dr.granolias753]

Lol go back to tumblr

[@pressf3921]

None of you should thank each other. It's just chores. You shouldn't say thank you each time your mom does the dishes and she shouldn't have to thank you for simply putting in work into your collective household. In my opinion, It should be normal for you to not expect a thank you to contributing. It degrades the word. You are thanking for something important. Not for chores. Just my opinion. I respect yours though. :)

[@moniquegrove9809]

Danny 6798 must be nice

[@BaldMancTwat]

Dude you kind of have to remember that your parents came from a time when parents DID NOT speak to their kids. They likely have NEVER had a heartfelt conversation with their likely deceased parents. It would be very hard for you to connect with your kids when you came from a time when parents specifically didn't want to connect with their kids.

[@jacobbiancardi9153]

I'm at such a crossroads, I want to be seen, but clam up during any conversation, and my real thoughts don't come out.

[@roypetitfils]

Hey Jacob, hang in there. I used to be the same way. There are lots of reasons we "clam up" during conversations, so I don't want to make an overly simplistic suggestion, but know that I'm pulling for you to pull through your crossroads. And know that some of our most important moments of learning and growth (not that we're always wanting to learn and grow, I get that) happen at "crossroad" times in our life. Thanks for watching!

[@Georgia-vx9rn]

This is exactly the same for me. I understand completely, but what is there to do.

[@unoriginal5839]

Me too ... I gave social anxiety and depression ... My mum is depressed and not the same person who stopped me committing suicide at 8 ... I am here just drifting

[@JadeDragoness77]

I am the same way. If there was something I needed to say to my parents I would write it down in a letter, and give it to them. Then we could have a conversation. Explain that it is hard for you to find the words when talking so you have to write them down.

[@humanbean4037]

Same

[@michael-hd4ef]

Adults think their so smart especially teachers and parents... They think their always right no matter what, you argue or talk back and try to prove your point, you get punished and you never win.

[@firebal6129]

Well, no one is every right all the time...although it is true that adults HAVE lived longer, so they had better know a thing or to more then us teens, just sayin

[@freshcomic2006]

@@firebal6129 true, but doesn't they are infallible

[@chriscarr6791]

How much of that, though, is due to us not showing the potential we have? My father is a high school teacher, and I have personally seen during my exam blocks when I was in his classrooms working on projects the number of students (nearly said kids) that are on their device or chatting to someone while a man who loves to teach those who listen and respect others has to dedicate an hour of his time attempting to get them to remember at least one thing for their exam or assignment. I'm graduated in '19 and work as a civil drafter for a civil engineering company, and I now see more than ever the amount of family time my father misses. I've gone from being home at 3:30 to getting home almost in time for dinner at 6:15. And my work stops in the office, his continues to his bed as he marks assignments and struggles to fit the curriculum into 10 weeks, still teaching the future generation what they need to know to at least pass their exam.

[@freshcomic2006]

It could be that schooling needs to catch up with the modern world. Could also be that, not every problem in schools is the students fault

[@firebal6129]

@@chriscarr6791 They way that you put it is really sad...but it is true. I've seen many of my classmates sit in the back and be on their phones while the teacher isn't looking. Still, not all teens are like this, and I think that's important. It is a shame that so many adults generalize the teenage age group as entirely lazy, unmotivated, ect.

[@ThomasSmith-z5q]

Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life

[@williamhauser3686]

Thanks for the recommendation. I'm going to check it out. I wish you and your family the best

[@moldyduckdonut8658]

The day before winter break this year, my language arts teacher gave us one assignment for the day and that was to write as many compliments to people in the class as possible. At that point, sirens were already going off in my head since I wasn't close to really anyone in that class, let alone did I ever really talk to any of them. The teacher said her goal was for everyone to receive a compliment. _Oh, god._ Guess who got the generic pity compliments from people who barely know me. Yup, it was me. That exercise was meant to be uplifting for everyone, but it totally ruined my day. Being invisible sucks

[@xXMasamuneundYuXx]

Moldy Duck Donut I feel you. And worst of all, it sticks with you. While the others see it as a nice, passing gesture, the invisible will always remember that day and feel bad and lonely.

[@bessyisyourbestieforever3164]

Your only invisible to people who dont deserve your attention in the first place. Dont worry about what other people say or think about you. Be who you want to be and comfortable with. Dont be afraid to walk towards people. You will find your crowd. Message from a woman of colour who once in her life decided to move away from a rural town full of racists. Best decision ever made. Sometimes we just happen to be in the wrong place but it DOESNT mean that we are invisble. We are just surrounded by people who are not deserving of our kindness.

[@redacted144]

Guest who was called a hermit. You guest it right, NOT you. You are a human being. Suffer is a thing but resilience is what make us live. Fight your devils. Fight them with your family. Don’t need blood bond to have one. Things will be better. _A stranger online who was called hermit_

[@vemcomachines9634]

I feel you, me being the only kid with acne makes it 100x worse

[@charlotteforst1256]

Moldy Duck Donut We feel ya, man.

[@garbageboy9164]

Literally all my parents do is criticize me, and then they’re like, “Why don’t you ever spend time with the family?”

[@bananakids_1212]

Sometimes kids need to be left alone. I think parents need to realize that. Especially at the teenage years, they need their own space and time. They parents must remember how they felt at that time and treat their kids a way that they know will make them feel good.

[@garbageboy9164]

​@@samyasingh9213 I understand that, but learning from someone else's mistakes isn't the same as learning from your own. A lot of parents try to live vicariously through their kids and project their own fears and insecurities onto them because they think that they can make them perfect. Nobody is perfect, and it's just unrealistic to expect the impossible from someone.

[@owen.hates.school]

After all, what's better? A developing brain, or an *ill-developed* brain?

[@ogpurple8712]

I get this a lot and I see most people in the comments are like this too. I'm glad I'm not the only person with problems like this. To any parents like this, if you wanted to have a kid who never wanted to live their own life and not just be bragging rights, You should have made a robot. It would've worked a lot better.

[@theboogeyman2590]

this, or they're making fun of one of my many honest mistakes, or blaming something on me.

[@simplyluxurious6302]

This is so true, teenagers thoughts and opinions should be valued as much as adults. That magic age of 18 doesn't make a difference. Amazing talk 🙌🏼

[@roypetitfils]

Thank you!

[@roypetitfils]

Maira Amal thank you! That means a lot!!! I appreciate you watching and commenting!

[@hannahnalbandian8483]

this is the most amazing ted talk I've ever watched honestly. it really brought out emotions in me that i didn't know were even still there. I'm only 15. I'm a two time therapy drop out because i could never open up and it makes things really hard because now i either dont't tell anyone anything and deal with it myself, or i still don't tell anyone and instead of trying to deal with it myself, i end up pushing it down even farther so that it ends up not even being visible...ya know, until something super small triggers it again. my parent have been trying to get me to go back to therapy but i just can't. if i had you Roy Petifils to talk to then i definitely feel like id get somewhere because even just watching this, i feel a connection that i just didn't feel with any of my other therapists.

[@roypetitfils]

Wow Hannah, so sorry to hear that counseling was a "miss" for you. Been there, but was fortunate to have had a couple therapists who were phenomenal and I was able to connect with and trust. Best to you!

[@baoanhnguyen4128]

i turn 18 today

[@taekiotan9158]

as a teenager I can tell you that he is spot on. We really want to talk to paents and to adults in a normal way, we want to have serious conversations as well, but somehow it's just so hard to talk normally to them. You can't even force yourself to be nice to them and stop acting cool. So please adults do that instead of us and we will be really grateful.

[@yazzer4963]

as a teenager i can tell you that you are only appealing to the small group of teenagers with daddy issues

[@simplymarvelousliving]

I’m a little late but 😂 A.R.M.Y. gang

[@yazzer4963]

@Elizabeth Taylor i enjoy ted talks

[@creepybabby]

@@yazzer4963 586 people is a lot

[@yazzer4963]

@@creepybabby Out of the 1,392,679 people that watched this video, let's say that 1/3 of them are teenagers. That would be about 464,226. Let's say that 1/32nd of these teens have seen this comment. That would be 14,507 teens that have seen this comment. Now out of these hypothetical 14,507 teens, only 587 of them (currently) have decided to like this comment. That would mean approximately 4% of teens identified with this comment enough to leave a like. I don't know about you, but 4% isn't a lot. But of course, these are arbitrary measurements, and I could be wrong, but still. 586 people on the internet isn't a lot.

[@o4_]

Me: Begins winning in an argument My parents: I'm sorry, I don't speak d i s r e s p e c t

[@skaoaooakkzkksnowpack5905]

andyyy wu same lmao

[@robinvan7086]

Me: begins winning in an argument my parents: lets talk about something else / thats not what you said

[@fionamariano9240]

Same T-T

[@mysterypuns]

Isn't it "I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!!!"?

[@cdub9925]

@@robinvan7086 thaaaaat part

[@roswara]

Russel Barkley : “The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways”

[@NewNormalDigital]

So true..didn't think that way

[@AlanaFosterTheLlama]

Over the past few years I've become baffled over the negative connotations behind the word 'attention seeking'. It's one of the worst, most insulting, most degrading and invalidating things you can be called, at least at my age and where I live. It's an attack on your character, and if you're labelled an 'attention seeker' you're also labelled a terrible, selfish person. It's almost as if humans aren't inherently, biologically social creatures. Like elephants, meerkats, whales, birds who flock. Social isolation can literally BREAK a person's brain. It can cause things like psychosis in very severe cases. People NEED people. People NEED to be SEEN in order to be healthy, in most cases. OF COURSE people are attention seekers. OF COURSE they crave being seen and understood, and they long for empathy. It's in our nature. And I just can't believe that when I was 13, 14, I would DESPISE people and look so far down upon them for being 'attention seekers'. And I can't believe how deeply it would affect me when people called me an attention seeker.

[@slaterrox23]

This is so important and you've worded it really well. Aside from the negative connotations, it's a scary label because of how effectively it strips a person of their power. If you're known as an attention-seeker, people might stop taking anything you do seriously, or they might disregard anything you say. Comments like "they're just attention-seeking!" are usually willingly accepted and people can believe it as truth for no reason at all. Similar to calling someone 'crazy', especially towards women (usually ex-girlfriends) A neuro-psych friend explained it to me like this: Demanding attention from others to address unmet (potentially damaging) needs is just basic animalistic self-preservation. If a baby doesn't demand attention when it's born, it won't survive. They'll cry and scream to express that they need something in order to keep themselves alive (ie, milk, help to move/burp etc), a need that they aren't able to fill themselves. But they'll also cry to also express more complex needs like that of intimate contact and direct focused attention, which is just as imperative to healthy survival. Our brains absolutely require that fundamental attention in order to stay healthy. If a person is genuinely acting in an 'attention-seeking' manner (subconsciously or consciously) then you should give it and listen to them and try and find the reason why.

[@thebiggestal]

I definitely agree with you for the most part... except I use the word differently than other people use attention seeking. The way people do use it for, I despise, because you did word this perfectly-and people, especially teenagers, need attention and care and love. I use it to refer to teens who make up stories, such as abusive homes and cutting themselves to the bone and pretending they have mental illnesses because they like drama. Not because they want to be seen because they aren't, but because they like to thrive in the spotlight, and fabricating their own stories is the easiest way to do that. It allows them to get pity. As someone who had a friend like this, who faked panic attacks up to twice a day, this was VERY emotionally taxing, and she pretended she would cut herself so deeply they left scars, but... the bandages she used would disappear a day after applying them and no mark would be left behind. She did it because she so desperately wanted attention from others even though she had enough talents she could use so many other things to attract them. She was funny, sweet, and kind, but she was also terribly toxic as well and only cared about people paying attention to her rather than anyone else's feelings. I'm saying this to provide an alternate view on why some people use 'attention seeking', but mostly because I was wondering if that makes me wrong as well. Again, I don't think I use it in the same context as others. I have plenty of girls in my grade who are labeled as attention seeking because they like to wear revealing clothing and like to flirt a lot, but it doesn't bother me as much. So I'm not sure if I'm just blowing things out of proportion or not, especially since giving her the attention she wanted made her get even worse-mostly because she figured out it worked. So I guess my question is... even if I didn't say it out loud or to her face, am I in the wrong as well? Is this something I should try to change about myself?

[@user-fk8zw5js2p]

I agree with you for most people especially young people. But, there are people out there who dont care about attention and even avoid it because it makes them anxious. For example, I can go days without talking or interacting with anybody and it doesnt completly fracture my psyche like people think solitary confinment would. Yes I read and play games so I have my entertainments. I know many people that go for hikes by themselves for a day, or meditate alone. So, the negativity you experience with the attention seeking may be a way for adults to shame young people into less overt activities. I dont know your specific situation and Im just guessing. If that is the case though, why would they do that? Are they jealous? Do they find attention seeking annoying? Would they prefer you to dress more conservativly and read more? Would they prefer you to learn something other than the best ways to get attention?

[@TonyCorin]

While I agree that "attention seekers" is an often misused label, I disagree that people we label "attention seekers" are necessarily people in the same "market share" as non "attention seekers." People generally call a person an attention seeker when they feel they do not add anything to the conversation but take up resources and time away from other people.

[@ilikecoins9560]

Right, about half of mt school can be labeled as "attention seeking", but i only know of a couple of kids at my 1500 person school that truly crave to much attention, and i know that for at least one of them, its because his parents very rarely pay much attention to him

[@gauravnath8926]

"rejection is not our greatest fear .... Greatest fear is invisiblity " I love what he just said !!!

[@ottelo7773]

Our greatest fear is to be invisible Close enough dosent matter still the same message

[@socialanxiety9153]

My mental health went down recently because of that. It’s getting better though

[@minidini4000]

@@socialanxiety9153 I hope you are better now and that you have people in your life that do good to you and your mental health and treat you right. I wish you all the best, because you deserve only the best! Care for yourself, take yourself the time YOU need and always remember: take one step at a time. It will get better that way and you can reach higher levels of happiness you've never even though about! Lots of love from a teenager from the other side of the globe

[@Paul-nn9oj]

@@ottelo7773 Abused kids wish they could be invisible coz then they wouldnt be under fire all the time, I used to hate going home after school coz thats where the nightmare begins

[@ghostecrack997]

it kinda sucks that i have a better relationship with a stranger over the internet than my own family...😂

[@Matthew0640]

Ikr

[@cheelsalinas5743]

But it’s okay, sometimes your family is not how you wish they were and it’s okay. Your family, are normal persons, they just share your same blood. Family sometimes doesn’t understand how you feel and it’s okay, it’s okay not to get along with your family, you don’t need to love them, or be with them. Dont feel bad about that, it’s not your fault

[@raflamar4146]

My first friend in over 9 years was over the internet 😅

[@adrijaghosh7156]

Ikr!!!! When i told my parents that my online friends provide me more emotional support than y'all do they r like u shouldn't go around speaking about our personal matters to some stranger 😑

[@78anurag]

Same.

[@crometic-3982]

Yesterday, my mom and I got into an argument and I’m a teenager right now. You know what she told me? She said, and I quote, “You have no rights and you deserve no rights”. So I just want to say I’m going through a bad time right now and this ted talk really helped me. On that note, thank you.

[@nimishasinha2048]

This speaks to me

[@nimishasinha2048]

It feels good to see that I'm not alone

[@sylversquirrel4703]

No disrespect to your mom, but she's straight-up wrong. You're a human being. You have just as many rights as any other human being, and you deserve them just as much as any other human being. Your age isn't the only defining factor on your character. And yeah, maybe you don't have as much experience with the world as she does - that's to be expected, she's had more time to amass it. But that doesn't invalidate your thoughts, your actions, and your basic rights. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

[@1and314]

My mom told me because I’m a child I have no rights

[@bluecow4173]

My mom says I don’t own anything and that everything that I do “own” she can take of me and use. And that really hurts me because I appreciate personal space a lot and I don’t love to share. I don’t feel comfortable showing my emotions, so she doesn’t know how bad that hurt but I hope she can tell that she is doing something wrong. 💕

[@darkrealm9136]

its so rare to see a person born before 1996 to understand the life of teens nowadays. Props to u Roy Petitfils

[@EveleaSolgos]

This is so important. Being sixteen, i see so many of my fellow classmates either act out in an attempt to be noticed or shut down in hopes that someone will care enough to find out what's really going on. We live in a world that is so deprived of love and true care, and we all need to remind ourselves to bring kindness everywhere we go, even to those that are in a different social "group" than us, age groups included. Thank you!

[@roypetitfils]

Evelea S hear, hear! Couldnt agree more. Thanks for watching!

[@khaliah7754]

I agree. I fit into the category of shutting down and hoping someone asks me what's wrong. I also hope we bring more kindness to others

[@jacobmarin2568]

Wow now your 18!

[@yazzer4963]

no thanks

[@charliegraham2966]

I got chills when he said “you haven’t been able to get an accurate weight at the doctors in years” “it only goes up to 350 pounds”. That’s so sad.

[@garbagejuice1]

That is very sad, but seeing your profile picture in this context cracked me up.

[@weirdoodee1216]

It’s sad because there are kids that weight I wish we could do more for our youth

[@suhasop4919]

@@garbagejuice1 lmao

[@teagan8908]

My family always mocks me and make jabs at the fact I'm always downstairs away from everyone. But every time I come upstairs I am further belittled and I can just be standing there and they say "Ok bye" "why are you still up here" "go back downstairs" Then they have the audacity to ask me why I never come upstairs.

[@funkuro]

@@samyasingh9213 I get being mocked and banter and stuff like that. But if what they say destroys their will to be around them that isn’t their fault. Banter can be about actual things people can find funny and not ‘GO BACK TO YOUR CAVE’ which only destroys a conversation.

[@funkuro]

@@samyasingh9213 yeah I know about not taking things seriously hence my use of the word banter. But I guess people have different limits of what they can take as banter. Also thanks but I don’t need to talk about anything. Thanks for the offer though.

[@emilyvandusen796]

Same...its so annoying

[@davepetasprite7585]

That must have been really awkward for the butcher

[@blackfirefox666]

He uses it to cut meat off those giant animal halves. It's a butcher's tool.

[@hileman8600]

@Kingofnerds77 the ascetic.

[@kshitijbenedict8431]

@@hileman8600 Aesthe-thiccc, you mean

[@hileman8600]

@@kshitijbenedict8431 lol, yes.

[@zimablue0079]

F

[@silvermist4110]

Teens don't tell adults cause they are labeled negatively or told off for it. Student: "Hey sorry i don't have the assignment done i had a long _____ practice last night an things happened at home, but i promise I will get it-" Teacher: "You will have half credit cause it is late. next time manage your time better an stop making excuses an being lazy" The the worse is when adults compare as if two people the same. Student: Sleeps in class Parent: Yells "What is wrong with you!?!?! You teacher called you sleep in class now?!" Student\Child: "I don't care.." Parent: Even madder yells "I work all day, and you saying you don't care!? Ungrateful. your sister seems to do just fine." Student/Child: ........"I just don't care...I'm tired. I been workin hard all year." parent: "And yet still can't speak english. WORKING not workin" what is they battle depression, anxiety, have a job, doing 8 assignments a night. So many outside variables can change things but if voiced are shrug off am the childs is labeled an blamed. so they keep quiet. hopefully someday this will change

[@jemmagordon4439]

I wish we as the students could make a diffence to the lives of other kids not just in our school, in our country but the world because we are so privileged but every time we try to speak out we get told excuses for wanting to help, for wanting to make a difference. All we get is ignorance and it dose not help that there are thousands of people suffering from exploitation famin and war whist we are sitting here not doing anything because the whole truth is held back from us form adults that think they always know better by stopping us. Because the truth is out there to why not show it to us? Its our world we as the next generation are going to inherent your's and pasted generations mistakes so why lie she we Will find out the truth when its too late.

[@sathyarajesh7787]

you okay bro?

[@jemmagordon4439]

Yes, I'm just a little bit annoyed on how we are treated as inferiors when we deserve to know the truth.

[@sethnoeske5455]

Man I have had this conversation more times than I can count.

[@levihuerta9393]

@@jemmagordon4439What truth? Can you be more specific? I have answers you might be interested in.

[@user-gt4kc7bl5r]

my mom: tell me everything u feel, dont let it sink in me: starts to tell... my mom: *WHY ARE U LIKE THAT!!!???*

[@dimitrisskar4174]

mhm

[@theboogeyman2590]

oh yeah, i told my mom we should see a therapist and she went on about how we're all perfectly fine and how we're all mentally 100% healthy. and was like "you'll tell me if youre not normal right? but youre fine, im assuming, cuz i dont see anything wrong."

[@Ali_art]

Ma momma no never ask me how i feel But when i tell her about me.. "she's like no no no you alright i can see you alright whatchu talking about" Im 22 now.. the only person i talk about how i feel is my girl who did see me and always listen

[@Alexus1235]

Ikr

[@GraceTheTDI]

my mom:something is wrong please tell me what it is me: starts saying a fraction of the verbal abuse she does every day her: "well thats your fault for being rude to me in the first place, and i can say whatever i want im the parent and your the child"

[@erinhoban3351]

I had this incredible headmaster at my secondary school. He would always greet us and ask us how we are doing. He learnt everyone’s name and regularly took people out of class at random to go to his office, have tea and biscuits and talk with people we usually would never (for example: 1st years and year 13’s). He made sure everyone’s voice was heard and treated us all with respect. He valued our opinions and helped us when we needed it. He truly was an amazing headmaster and I miss him. Our school has a new headmaster who doesn’t care about the students and is giving detentions out over the smallest things, even opinions.

[@onion_man324]

My headteacher gave some a full lunch time because they were listening to music when they walked into school. Like this was before school had even started. Lunch at my school is 50 minutes long.

[@jenniferg.1169]

That sounds wonderful

[@clinicall]

i just wish my dad would listen. he never lets me voice my opinion, he doesn't ever talk to me, and i don't feel like he really cares much. i want to be able to talk to him and have a good relationship with him, but he shoots down all of my ideas and makes me feel like i'm less of a person than he is. so i'm constantly stuck between wanting him to hear me and wanting to save myself from rejection.

[@LoveIsLouder224]

I feel the same about my mom sometimes. :( it sucks.

[@proctorjunior14]

abigail Same here

[@rainbowocean5075]

*hugs you*

[@flam1ngicecream]

I have the opposite problem. My dad always listens to my opinions, then makes a meaningless facial expression and continues with what he was doing. I want to have meaningful conversations with him, but sometimes I feel like I don't even know the guy. All I really know is that he's cautious, quiet, and introverted.

[@MJ-gm3ko]

sucks being in that zone between overcoming fears and facing rejection o make you even more scared of overcoming your fears...

[@celestegriffin7215]

Me: Is frustrated upset or sad My parents: WhAt'S WiTh ThE AtTiTuDe??

[@pedrofernandezpena2]

Me: Says a fact Parents: I’ll pretend I didn’t see that.

[@celestegriffin7215]

@@pedrofernandezpena2 😂

[@mrkitloin]

Parents: _says or does something that ruins my day_ Also my parents: *why are you so upset?*

[@Moszan]

It's as if these type of parents lack self awareness.

[@GottEddy]

@@Moszan The root is personality disorders, it's a pathological disease of the new age. People which cant even take care of themselves want to tell others what is right.

[@SweetasSugar42]

I was bullied for all my years in school, it's only stopped in the last year. I've moved schools but the bullying continues. Just different bullies. The 'psychic shock' Roy talks of here is true. Once in one of my new schools, a girl came up to me and wished me a happy birthday. She had remembered what I had told her a month before. I cried because I was so in shock that someone remembered me. The smallest of gestures can really change someone's life.

[@joaonogueira6247]

I relate.... the other day I was almost crying because an old random lady at the bus stop said "here, I'll share it with you" and placed her umbrella above our heads to cover us both from the rain. I saw her getting her right shoulder wet, and told her that it was ok, there wasn't need. she said "ah, shut up, we both fit under it"... I know my mom gives me a roof and a plate with food at the table everyday, but that lady acted more mom than my mom does (emotionally ofc). I couldn't stop saying "thank you" to the lady...

[@pudgethefish.4553]

An adults opinion about teenagers I can finally agree with, this guy is amazing.

[@CuppaTeaExe]

I started KZbin because I was afraid of becoming invisible. And eventually, I became invisible... I am 15 year old immigrant from England who lives in the US. I moved when I was young and you can guess what happened. Bullying. Non stop bullying. I moved school...but instead of being bullied, I was invisible, all because I was the only one who could not fit in. If it was not for my small youtube community, I dont know where I would be. Home is where I can fit in and be me

[@farateq]

you just earned a sub my guy

[@farateq]

Agent 6729 congrats you earned a sub

[@juliap126]

I never understood why am I sad in family meetings... I always want to go home and cry. But why? this is my family I am supposed to be happy to be with them. Now I know why. Everybody is ignoring me. They are taking with my oldest cousins because they crossed this magic line of 18 years old. Us younger members of family sit next to our parents. We just send glares and little smile to each other to signalize that we fell the same. We just want others to talk to us. Thank you for making me understand why I always feel like leaving and crying in my room when I am in a room filled with my family. Sorry for for mistakes English isn't my first language.

[@taylorbritt499]

Your English is perfect, no worries!

[@firebal6129]

Wow...that is really sad...It makes me more grateful for my extended family I guess, since it's not like that at all. Actually, that is why my family reunions are my favorite part of the year. Everywhere else I am pretty ignored, but when I'm with my 16 uncles and aunts, my grandparents, and my 60+ cousins...that's when I feel the most loved, and included, and cared about. I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences >.

[@juliap126]

@@firebal6129 I'm glad you have a good relationship with your extended family. Honestly ever since I wrote this comment I'm avoiding any family reunions. I'm turning 18 at the end of July so maybe something will change. I wish you all the best and a lot of health especially with what's going on in the world :)

[@firebal6129]

@@juliap126 Yeah, Covid is quite the experience XD

[@jeiberry]

@@juliap126 yeah the magic "you're out of high school i suddenly see my child/niece/nephew and can talk to him" thing is definitely messed up. My uncle and aunt never talked to me except to lecture me until i hit college application age, and then the only thing they've been able to talk about is college college college. Like, was i invisible for the past 17 or so years? Why are you trying to talk to me now this is awkward

[@samanthahere5531]

i hate it when they treat me like a kid and expect me to get a job and act like an adult like wtf bruh? Amma chill and spend mah teen years before my ass becomes an adult. Cuz we're between kids and adults do we basicallly act a mixture of them. We can act like an adult at times and kids at times.

[@catfishmilkthesaddrummerbo8439]

SamanthaHere I agree with you 100% I'm glad I'm not alone with that.

[@MelonLord8]

Yeah bruh

[@jennabobenna2131]

I want my parents to know that speaking my opinion to them is not me being rude. Regardless age we should all be able to express our opinions.

[@Joao_66]

Most parents don't care about our opinions

[@jamireign5645]

No ones talking about the fact that a guy that’s 4 times my age is telling me what I want others to know...

[@galaxi6585]

IDK, these are all pretty accurate...

[@democratsshoulddowhatpeped7836]

That dude 4 times ur age was ur age once. Ull be him one day. He's experienced everything u have and are about to.

[@raindrops7388]

"Rejection is not our greatest fear. Our greatest fear is to be invisible" That is so true... wonderful talk

[@mareenamathon2401]

Currently crying, this is all I’ve wanted the adults around me to understand and most of them never have and it makes me extremely happy to know that at least someone can see us and that even if it’s not me, one of us will be seen. That’s all I need to know to keep my hope

[@DaNintendude]

_Just wanna point out that this comment escalated into rambling about an unrelated topic, so you may wanna skip reading all of this_ Ya know... I'm not invisible...but I am in a weird area... I'm well-known by the people who know me... I guess I have some kind of strange quirkiness or something that people see in me or something. I'm not popular, I'm not bullied, and I'm not talked to much. But a ton of people know who I am. To be honest, I haven't had a true friend in 4 years. All the "friends" since then... I haven't really felt close to. I haven't had fun with them. We have laughs, and we talk at lunch and stuff, but eventually all my old friends drifted away into their own groups, and now we barely know each other any more. When looking at people at school, you can usually place them into their respective friend groups, but I don't have one. There are some people that I "hang out" with at lunch. They are just the people who sit at my table, and although I know them pretty well, I honestly don't fit in with them. I don't understand who I really am. I don't have friends, I'm not popular, I'm not hated, I'm not bullied, but I'm fairly well-known... I'm pretty much the only person I know that can't fit into any respective friend groups, and no one shares similar interests like me, in the way that I do. My likes and interests aren't important to the conversation, but they are what I want to talk about the most every day... the problem is that no one else really cares, and if they do, they are no where near as passionate as me and they often don't really know as much as they let on. I'm stuck talking about boring and trivial things at Lunch, instead of what I really long to talk about. People often say that I just need to look at the stuff I do have in common... and I do... The problem is, there isn't a nice balance between talking about what I love, and the other stuff that I happen to have in common with others... I never really talk about what I love, and it makes me feel so isolated. If you ask me who my greatest friends are, I'd probably start listing off the people I speak to on Discord and KZbin, because they are the ones whom I can actually converse my passions with. I can talk about the most insignificant details and ideas and still have people understand... I can have debates and arguments that feel fun to me, and I can be introduced to things that I never even noticed, or thought about. So Who am I at school? I don't really know... I'm someone who doesn't belong... I'm just sort of there...

[@bananablues142]

This. You put it into words absolutely perfectly >.< Thank you.

[@harishankar_]

I know this was one full month ago, but I feel like responding is the appropriate thing to do here. I am in the same situation. I have a few good friends. Otherwise, I'm in the same situation as you. Just... no one seems to care. At all. I have 2 really good friends, but that's it. Some may say that's enough, but at the same time, when you look at the general, normal person, who has 30+ really good friends, you can't help but feel left out. There is often no escape to this feeling, unless you're like me, and have learned to tolerate such things. This has been prominent throughout my entire life and being raised in two places (One with a large abundance of people, and therefore, decreased value of the lives of others; the other with a high value of lives of others, but a low value of the lives of themselves) has really had an effect on me. I feel as if the negative sides of both places are the ones affecting me the most; not the positive ones, for whatever reason... I just hope that the world and teenagers, in general, will see the world in a new light. Because you are not invisible. You just have yet to meet the right people. There are people facing the same issues. There are people who are just like you and share your interest, therefore making a perfect friend. Don't waste your life, letting these negative thoughts plague your mind. It's not worth doing so, I guarantee it. You will find a person if you just look in the right places. One to take away all the negativity. One to give you more positivity. That being said, stay positive. Stay hopeful. Never stop dreaming, and, most importantly, never forget how powerful you are. No matter the situation.

[@evesalzwedel5605]

I really resonate with this. Everyone is an acquaintance if I know of them at all, mostly. I think people feeling this way are just waiting to arrive in their generation or era. People like this are old souls that feel lost and fall into being observers of the ones around them. But people like this, like us here under this comment, must realize that our souls feel out of place because we have something to radically change about the world. So we must go out, on our own, and make that statement. We may not have an army, but we do have passions that no army could ever take away from us. "The day our lives begin to end is when we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr. "Take up the space you deserve." - One of my Professors

[@ToLoveGod]

I can relate to your two paragraphs about talking to people about your interests. I have 5 people in total I would consider my friends and all of them are online. This is because I do homeschool. So, because I don’t go to public school or somewhere people are kind of expected to pay attention to me, I don’t necessarily feel invisible, but just lonely in general. 4 of my friends practically never talk to me anymore. Maybe once every few months because they’re bored or something. This leaves me with my 1 *best* friend. When it’s not summer or winter break, we talk only on the weekends, sometimes only 1 day out of the weekend. And though we have similar interests, they’re not quite the same. We are both big fans of video games, music, and KZbin. In all of these categories, there’s a good amount of the same stuff we like, but a lot of different stuff too. Games are very special to me and always have been but my active interest in them has slowed down the past year. My primary interest has become music, but he’s very unopened to different music. He likes to stick to his comfort zone of only music from video games that he likes, made by entertainers on KZbin he likes, or from shows he likes. The very few songs he enjoys with an origin not listed above are old ones that are just classics to begin with that he liked when he was young. There’s nothing exactly wrong with this, it’s just disappointing and annoying. It’s like he gets startled when I show him a song that I really enjoy but is a little different from what he’s used to. Like he gets disturbed, almost.

[@avasylvester7612]

This comment literally explained who I am. Thank you.

[@samanthaevaristo2140]

I honestly cried so much while watching this video because I, myself am a teenager and even though I may not be poor and have a great family, that doesn't mean that I'm not ignored. I honestly related so much to this video that it made me have flashbacks to all the times I've been ignored and it honestly made me tear up at how many there are.

[@lucylucy1813]

Hello Samantha, I didn’t want you to feel that your comment was ignored. How are you today?

[@unoriginal5839]

I am considered a popular kid but by no means am I acknowledged ... The way I see it I have 1 friend and it is my girlfriend ... After some horrible events in my life I don't even feel like my mum (who has always been there for me) even loves me ... I constantly avoid my unpredictable stepdad and haven't spoke to or even in front of him in 6 months even tho we live in the same house (my longest is 2 years) but the worst part of this is that me and my girlfriend are drifting apart, im going to college (i don't do well with new people) and I am having suicidal thoughts again

[@zillomanstrum]

Daniel Williams I know this is the part where people start telling you not too but it only makes it worse so I’m here to tell you instead that’s it’s your life you get to decide what to do with it and that nobody can take that away from you but yourself

[@JadeDragoness77]

Daniel Williams My brother committed suicide last year. Let me tell you that it devastated our whole family. If he only reached out and talked to us about it. You need to make your mother and step-father sit down and listen to you, really listen to you. Show them this video first if you have to. Let it break the ice for you. I was the same was as a teenager, though not popular, and only one friend. I am so grateful that I did not go through with it today. I have a wonderful husband, and 3 AMAZING kids!! My life is full. Though I suffer in pain everyday from a few autoimmune diseases, I still don't let it get me down. Life is an amazing thing if you stop and look around. Take in all the nature you see around you. Enjoy every smile, and laugh you see around you. Take in all the small things. Those will get you through. Most importantly if you ever need anyone to talk to who understands, and will not judge you, you can always talk to me. You can find me on FB as Brandie Vizzier. I have a proud to be pagan as my avatar. Please reach out to your parents. I know it is scary, and hard to know how they will react. No matter what their reaction is, you need to make them see you by letting them know how you are feeling. If you have to write it in a letter, and hand it to them. I find it hard to talk to people, but when I write it down I know I can get it all out without interruption, or looks of judgement. I hope this helps you sweetie. HUGS!!!

[@unoriginal5839]

JadeDragoness77 my mum has depression too so even telling or showing how I feel she will feel like a failure and for a depressed mother to feel like that isn't worth risking

[@josepheid03]

Fun Fact: Most people watching this video are teenagers.

[@mlgtakeo4065]

Yes

[@mariamsaghir2101]

Parents don't usually bother. Even if I find them watching they brush it off

[@Magicw1zrd]

Correct

[@AstroDas360]

ikr

[@DreamingDarlin]

I'm a grandmother watching so I can be there for my grandchildren so there may be a few of us "Boomers" and others who care to know things like this. :D

[@torrilewis526]

Thank you at least one man sees this I'm tired of feeling like I'm nothing just because im not 18... im 17 and can't wait to move out

[@samminicksm]

Torri Lewis I hope you’re happy now.

[@SFAYouthMinistry]

Torri, you have my attention. You're not invisible. I hope things are going well for you.

[@lizpeckham9031]

I've never cried because of a Ted talk. I guess there's a first time for everything.

[@creepy_glitcher5083]

Mom: youre anti social Me: *sees my mum on the phone every single day*

[@sorrowandsufferin924]

How social is a phone, I mean really? Sitting at home and texting - can that compare to actually being around someone or hearing someone's voice? Knowing that babies can literally die from stress if they're not being touched enough. We're probably pretty social, considering the world we grew up in, and, even more extreme, the world children now grow up in. In the early 2000s, the world saw the start of a shift, away from the gardens and parks in which to play, towards digital screens, for entertainment at first; games soon followed. Today, we do almost everything on our computers. Society and economy is positive about that, because it's efficient. But humans are not products, nor machines. Efficient isn't our strong suit, with one exception: survival. We get extremely efficient with our life on the line. Other than that, we are creative. We create our lives, we create ourselves, ideally every day. We create and shape the world around us, it's what we do. It's what the screens did. What do we do now? Because there is one truth: The meaning of social has shifted. And I'm not sure if that is positive or negative, but I'm leaning towards negative.

[@mcplumpkin6191]

being antisocial is an illness my guy

[@starwizzyy]

My parents swear that we will never use phones when we're having dinner, and we should interact more but as soon as we sit down they take their phones and forget I'm there until I make a mistake.

[@arnavchauhan178]

My parents have their own startup, and I got a new phone that I payed for with my own money I earned doing stuff here or there. I only use KZbin, Messages, and Discord occasionally. My dad is usually at work, so when he’s at hone he makes quite an effort to spend time with me and my younger sister, and I prefer that. My mom left her job to work on their company full time, so she started working at home a lot more. This was during summer break, and she went to a WeWork while we were in school. She started spending a lot of time on her phone and laptop, which I found ok because she had so many people to take care of at the company. After a while I got curious at what she did online, and I set up Screen Time on her phone. Before this, my mom would get extremely angry if I spent a long time on my phone, so it got confiscated every night and I got it at breakfast in the morning. I became more responsible, and then my parents started trusting me to take care of it, and gave it to me all the time. This was confusing, because if I could afford a new phone for myself, am I not responsible enough already? Once I saw her screen time readings, it was about 14 hours a day. Most of these were communication and whatnot, but then I went inside and found hours of Facebook, Insta, etc. I confronted her, and she kept changing the subject. I got really annoyed, because she kept blatantly lying about why she could spend more time on her phone, and I can’t. Then we had an argument, ended up in me being grounded for 2 weeks, without any electronics. I had all valid reasons, and once again, mom pulled out the “You’re still a kid, start studying”. One good thing, my dad was supportive, but he also looses all the arguments with my mom, so he let it slide. He gave me my phone if I asked for it, unlocked the parental controls off my laptop if I finished all my homework and everything. In the end, I guess I have to wait until I can get my mom to listen to me

[@toast1067]

@@arnavchauhan178 my mom does just about the same thing. the only thing different however, is that once i bought my own phone and payed for it myself, i didnt tell her because i knew that she would have made me return it because she doesnt trust me with electronics. i managed to keep it for a few months, but then she wanted us to fly out to my aunt, and she found out when we were getting on the plane. after we got back, she took it from me and told me that i could only have it for three hours a day. at this time i had just turned 16 and i found it very confusing as to why i was only allowed to have it for three hours when i see her on her phone for half the day.

[@felix.mp3639]

My parents and peers always say that I have no emotions. It’s just I don’t always show how I am feeling. I might be do sad one day but be smiling and laughing at my family’s jokes about me being emotionless and me doing nothing and being lazy. Little do they know that I am hurting sO much on the inside. I don’t want to show them how I am feeling because they will just say it’s a phase or make a joke or just something that will make me feel uncomfortable. The only person I tell how I am feeling is my best friend. I love her like a sister but sometimes it’s also hard to tell her how I am but she is the only person who knows me really well.

[@sylversquirrel4703]

I'm glad you've got a friend to talk to. I hope your family will understand better, it sounds like they don't realize that their jokes are really making things worse. If you ever want to talk, or just need someone to listen, I'm happy to chat. Good luck stranger.

[@rishikesh7456]

you at least have someone to vent,I'm jealous

[@kauyori]

@@rishikesh7456 if you would like to speak to anyone im here, I dont mind

[@arjunramakanth4370]

I understand the pain and the feeling of being ignored. I’m glad that you have someone who cares for you like that. I thought I had someone like that, but it turned out to be one big lie on her part. If you need a stranger to vent to, I’m here to listen as someone who’s gone through the same things and who knows how much venting is needed

[@pihumysterygirl7183]

@@kauyori well....i know...it's a year....but....i just wanted to ask...how are you? Know wierd...but just that.... The people who have most beautiful Personalitiy have the worst broken heart... So just wanted to ask.... And I'm there to listen too...

[@songbird2614]

What I wish I could tell my parents: 1. Being strict/abusive won't make me behave better, it'll make me behave worse. 2. I'm trying. I'm trying to get better in math class, I'm trying to battle my depression, I'm trying eat normal. 3. School is unbelievably stressful, you yelling at me won't make my grades get better. 4. I don't self harm for attention. 5. I'm sorry that my depression hurts you, hitting me won't make a difference. 6. Goodbye.

[@hiii6450]

I,... I don't know what to say about this,.... I want to help you, but..... if you need to just *talk* to someone without having a negative affect, I will be here always, and I might be able to help you in math (...???gods, this feels so out of context...), and from what the little I know of you, you are beautiful and amazing. Even if you have problems, you are still beautiful and amazing.

[@nimishasinha2048]

I can relate to that. Don't worry. Things will get better. Wish you hope. I'm literally holding back tears right now...

[@xmoonilyx2977]

Honestly number 6 broke me.

[@sylversquirrel4703]

This.. This is scary. Songbird, I'm so sorry you feel like this... you shouldn't have to. I have no idea where you are or what your situation is, and I know I'm a literal stranger on the internet, but if you ever need to talk... Please, feel free to write back to this comment, I'm happy to listen to anything on your mind. We can find a more private way to chat beyond that if you don't want it public. You're not in this alone.

[@devanshvajpeyee8440]

Oh boy.... we're together! Just hold on bud, and tbh, the first one is so damn true nowadays

[@wrengaming1519]

if i showed this to my parents they would cut me off completely from the internet

[@NijahPlays]

Regrettably too relatable

[@kat1gb]

Comments like these break my heart. I'm a step mom on KZbin trying to get ideas on how to relate to what my nearly 13 year old step son is going through. I've learned to stop knock/opening in one motion (oops) but I read a lot of misunderstanding on both sides. I wish the parents and the teens would communicate better and understand each other better. We adults were there once but things have changed and none of us can read minds. Talk to your adults... at least try. And if they don't listen, sometimes it helps to tell someone "you're not listening to me" or "your not hearing me". I wish i knew how to help my own kid but now i wish I could help all of you too!!

[@wrengaming1519]

@@kat1gb really it just comes down to 'you have shown me something, now lets poke around on your discord, youtube, whatever, and look at all your personal stuff, breaking your trust. that's all it comes down to tbh. broken trust and more reasons to never talk to them once you can move out

[@kat1gb]

@@wrengaming1519 but why is that breaking your trust? What are you hiding and why don't you realize parents are doing this to protect you, not as a "gotcha!" If i find that you're looking at things online that are inappropriate, you broke my trust by breaking the rules of when i gave you a device. This video is educational and something i would love to see in my son's history, but if, say, I'm so proud he's watching stuff like this that i want to see what else i can learn from him and i start finding things he shouldn't be watching or times he shouldn't be watching then, who violated who's trust? I'm a big believer in, if you break the rules, you lose your rights to privacy. The more trustworthy you are, the less i check on you. It's that really an unfair expectation from as parent?

[@wrengaming1519]

@@kat1gb no i see where you're coming from, but my parents never actually gave me privacy at all, so its something i became very parranoid about

[@mercutioescalus6782]

Your teen years are the one time when everyone expects you to be perfect

[@garbagejuice1]

Which is actually (arguably/generally) the most sensitive time in your life. Setting up an expectation that’s that high can be very destructive to us teens.

[@_jordanleano]

My family didn't really ever include me in important conversations even though I'm supposed to know everything. I had a set of close friends but they didn't care about me like how I wanted to be cared for. How I cared for them. But this one teacher. History teacher, he was known as the best teacher. Not for his ways of teaching, although they were great, not for his funny expressions.. no, it wasn't that either. It was because he gave us his absolute undivided attention to a bunch of high schoolers were any of them ever to approach him. It wasn't much, but it made my day absolutely better. I wish I could talk to him every now and then, because if I ever just wanted to make sure I existed, he made me certain of that.

[@vk2336]

herr gerlach

[@redred7702]

All I need is for my parents to understand the concept of privacy. Other than that, love them

[@alcoholic402]

That is completely inappropriate. Talk to somebody about that

[@katelyn9011]

That’s no appropriate and definitely not normal

[@user-ue3cg6be9d]

That is abuse. Privacy is the most important part of all relationships.

[@nimishasinha2048]

Dismantle it

[@mcplumpkin6191]

are they gone yet?

[@pennysmith6657]

outstanding. now if you will excuse me,I just need to go reapply my mascara.

[@roypetitfils]

:)

[@flo5580]

lauren smith hahah I was trying to put on my makeup but I couldn't

[@abigailrose7455]

same..I cried

[@lumos7549]

SAME

[@rayorauck735]

awwwwww

[@aridan9023]

I try to be with my family but I feel more lonely when I'm in the same room with them. When I'm alone with my mom I'm too scared to say anything so she just makes that phone call she's been meaning to make.

[@roypetitfils]

ACE ice8031 i hear ya Ace! Sorry to hear that. I totally hear ya-there are times when we can feel most lonely and alone when we are with people 😞

[@noemoneytoya8758]

I FEEL YOU

[@construct8295]

honestly, i get it. ik this sounds cliched but my parents will ask me why i don’t spend more time with them, and then why i finally interrupt homework or something else to appease them i get nothing but ridiculed and insulted.

[@cjwhite7801]

Love how parents always say we’re spending too much time at home or in our room, but when we ask to go out do something with friends or something they always say that we never spend time at home and are always out smh

[@mintcssr8882]

im not trusted to go outside

[@alexwilson4793]

This is so accurate! I was a really quiet kid all through school, a good student. But because I didn’t show any connections to people because that would in my experience make me a “bad student” and so I was separated from my ONLY friend in the entire grade. I spend that whole year being severely depressed and blamed myself for what happened. If the adults in my school had even so much bad asked who we wanted to be in a class with I wouldn’t have self harm scars. This talk is so powerful and I’m so happy that someone understands what teenagers want.

[@JJ-pp9rc]

This man got me crying two times...in just one video...

[@roypetitfils]

Jessica Julie sorry to make you cry. Thanks for watchinh!

[@alexchong6524]

When he talked about the girl saying that she wanted to connect with her parents and 8 people agreeing I teared up a bit.

[@angelfox4919]

I'm a 17 year old who is invisible to both peers and family. I have anxiety, so I hate introducing myself to people. I just get really sacred (I actually only have 5 total friends, all of which talked to me first). My mom constantly works, and my sister is never at home. It's not the fear of being invisible (as I've been this way most of my life) that hurts, it's the soul-crushing loneliness that happens when you are ignored. Also, this TED talk is scary accurate to my situation. I wish I could actually receive counseling from Mr.Petitfils. Good work!

[@unoriginal5839]

AngelFox49 I am 16 and am invisible to all too ... I have social anxiety, depression and bipolar... I have 1 friend which is also my girlfriend and we are drifting apart ... My mum is severely depressed leaving me to look after a 3 year old, a 5 year old and an 8 year old ...I am going into college and will find it extremely difficult considering I have been told I will amount to nothing ... I avoid my very unpredictable stepdad and haven't spoke to or in front of him in 6 months despite us living in the same house(my longest is 2 years) ... My biological father and brother are trying to kill me and the only reason I haven't tried to comit suicide again (I was 8 last time) is to please the people who don't notice me ... Can you tell me more about yourself .

[@angelfox4919]

Hey there, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. As a coping mechanism, I began drawing. I would suggest pursuing an art (writing, acting, drawing, etc.) in order to help you let your thoughts out. It isn't healthy to be silent for so long (I'm talking from experience. Longest I've gone without talking with anyone is 8 months.) I hope this helps, and I hope your situation gets better!

[@unoriginal5839]

AngelFox49 might have given too much information but I need it off of my mind and if I seek professional help I will be locked away

[@angelfox4919]

It's ok :)I have had mental issues since I was little, so don't feel bad about your issues :)

[@queenchanel2017]

I'm just wondering but 2 years after you posted this comment- did it ever get better? Are you happy now? Did anything change?

[@carolyn6689]

Damn good Ted Talk😢😭My son is 16 and over the past years I see him closing up and shutting me out...instead of reaching out to him,I pulled away to give him space but things didn't change and now more than ever,I feel like a stranger to him.😔I wanted to be his loving mom who understands him but instead I feel like "I shut him out".I was a teenager once and felt all alone too,I don't want him to feel that way.sometimes I think us adults get so wrapped up in our own issues we do forget about our teens...😣I want to find a way to reconnect with my son,let him know I care and love him.🙏

[@te1327]

ArtNMusic Carol all the best

[@inklypse4248]

I know this reply is over a year after you posted this comment, and you may have already found a solution. But if not... I'm seventeen, and in my last year of high school. Things are great! But back in tenth grade, I remember that I'd withdrawn a lot more than was normal for me. I was at a new school and adjusting. I was distracted and didn't realize my dad was feeling the same way you are now. This was his answer: He found a day when he wasn't working, and asked me if I had any plans. I said no. So we went out together for a bonding night. It was just us going to a simple little restaurant and talking about what was going on in my life. It was wonderful. It was simple, and sweet. Just a father and daughter conversing over dinner. But I remember it vividly, and thinking about it makes me smile. It just takes something like that. Just a few hours together talking, without any rush. Try it for yourself! Maybe a private movie night, or a hike, or dinner. Anything along those lines with just the two of you. Be sure to take your son's opinions into account, and be open about your feelings. You can do this!

[@anjabone9177]

I have had issues with bonding with my parents all my life and I have made it a very very hard life for my entire family. As a result, my parents stopped trying to do things with me when I was about eight years old. I am now 18 and have moved across the ocean and I am only now seeing the parent logic in some of the things they did. My point with this is that no matter how good a job you do, there will still be tough times and he probably won't fully "like" you until he's lived alone for a while. However, I what you can do is take time out of your busy schedule to spend just with him. If he has siblings you should do this for them too, but NOT together. What my mom did near when I was getting ready to move out and graduate was that she would sometimes just randomly take me out on the weekend for lunch and then a spin through the thrift shop. It was just the two of us and it was something we both enjoyed and most importantly, I didn't have to pay! Ha ha... jokes aside, when I think back to my mom, it's these moments that I miss because the rest of my childhood was spent ignoring and being ignored by my parents. This definitely made me much more independent but also lonely. One warning though! DO NOT try to get him to bond with you by bashing other people. This is how my dad tried/tries to bond with me. He would be driving me to a doctor's appointment or something and start complaining about my mom or sister and how they ALWAYS do this one annoying thing and why can't they just be more like us, we're logical and don't whatever, blah blah blah. As a kid, I love dit because I felt like it was me and him, against the world, but as I became a teenager I realized that if he would tell his 8 year old daughter how annoying her mom and 5 year old sister were, he was probably also telling them how annoying I am. Well um after this giant response I hope that someone reads it and if you are, then I wish you the best of luck and lots of bonding :)

[@not_that_creative6507]

sometimes you have to let us be alone, and let us hurt, because if we make it, than we truly do get stronger

[@uhhhnah4564]

I think sometimes you can't talk to them to make them feel better, you might just have to give them a shoulder to cry on.

[@angie2989]

i wish i could make my parents understand that you can't just "get over" social anxiety and depression

[@multifandommochi6547]

apple And that no, joking about my problems, while I’m having a panic attack is not how you make it go away

[@sarcasticundead6087]

I'm homeschooled, ad god I wish someone would just take me out for coffee. I spend my life in my room, in this house, and no one even bothers with me anymore. Everyone wants me to go out to big events and when I dont want to they sum it up as me being anti social. but really, I'm not. i dont do well with crowds but god, I'm so lonely.

[@bluphoenix6412]

This must be difficult for you. I can relate. The want of going out, but the fear of large crowds. Especially of strangers. It's not where you go, but who you are with. I imagine that being homeschooled can be very lonely. If there was only a network of homeschooled students, so that you can hang out with. I'm not sure what to say honestly. The internet can only do so much, but it can never replace physical contact. What times we live in. I hope you are doing better.

[@neverpointnever]

i know it’s been a year since u left this comment but man i can relate so much. i go to public high school but all of the friends i used to be so close to have left me behind. no one talks to me outside of school. my life consists of working school and living in my room watching tv and eating. i’ve never felt this lonely in my life. it’s fuckin hard man. really really hard.

[@sarcasticundead6087]

@Cameron Bond yeah, actually, I am. I moved out and all the way to new zealand, and Ive been doing a lot better.

[@TenaciousDiva]

Incredibly brave - you made me cry. You're a beautiful man. Wishing you so much happiness in life.

[@roypetitfils]

Thank you Cynthia!

[@steampunkmike5767]

I started crying when he talked about holy cross high school. That story was powerful, and it resonated with me deeply.

[@katieemery7899]

My parents tune out of my conversation when they're not interested. Now I don't talk to them as much. And they say I'm antisocial.

[@simpguardsmanofkrieg1603]

Me: finally snaps and talked back* Parents: *YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME, MORTAL?!*

[@CJ-xw4tl]

1:55 that sank my heart because of how much his mom did for him.

[@andreacarroll3851]

When I was little, I was shy, but I still talked to people and made friends. Now as a teenager, I've noticed how cruel and judgmental other teens are, especially behind people's backs. Now I don't have any friends because I'm terrified to talk to people my age. I always worry that they're thinking bad things about me and they're going to make fun of me. This was something I never worried about when I was younger.

[@ELcinegatto87]

Once upon a time I had the same problem, and actually preferred talking to adults as I found them more interesting. All I could tell you is kids are super insecure, they just want to be accepted and will do and say anything to fit in. They're kids just like you at the end of the day, don't mentally put them on a pedestal or feel you are somehow less worthy. Free yourself of what other people think about you and just be yourself. Seek out those who share common interests and show interest in others. Learn to laugh at yourself too, that disarms people. Hang in there, it will get better a lot better as you get older. College and the real world isn't like Jr. High or High School. Good luck!

[@Gnomereginam]

If you're still struggling with this or if someone else is and happens upon this: A very concrete solution is to start thinking positively of others yourself. Make a point out of not talking bad behind people's backs. Make a point out of acknowledging beautiful or respectable things about the people you see around you. You don't have to do it out loud. It's like reverse-engineering your fear of other people's thoughts by changing your own. It's such a simple thing but it straight up changed my life.

[@arfanaveed8308]

And I don't make friends cuz friendships are not guaranteed commitments and it is for sure painful to get used to one's company and then be left all alone sooner or later, spend time with nature, it soothes one's soul, if you feel you are neglected and not listened to, then keep a diary like me and jot down your wandering thoughts on it whenever u feel occupied. It'll forever conceal ur secrets & you'll feel ur anger burned in to ashes, your tears n pain get dissolved in a blotted form and ur memories all gathered in a locker.

[@anyam1845]

Every time I watch this video I end up crying. When a stranger on youtube sees you more than your mother, you know somethings isn't right.

[@mrflimflam5755]

Home doesn't feel like home.

[@theamazedala3441]

Sure, I’ve been in pain every day for the past 2 years. But that doesn’t make me any less in pain. Just cause you have a hard life doesn’t mean we don’t. No mom, I don’t wanna go to school today. Cause school only makes me worse. But yes, I’ll go because I have to. I’ll put a mask over my pain and make people think I’m perfectly fine. Every single time I try to tell my mom that I don’t feel good, cause there’s a bulldozer in my head, she says “i don’t know if this is real anymore. Your sick way too conveniently” and I’m have to go to school where I don’t even pay attention, and make it through about 2 periods when I go home sick. I would have been fine if you just let me stay home, but now the process is gonna be repeated because you just made it worse.

[@mintcssr8882]

if you ever need to talk im here ok?

[@salimshady117]

As someone who currently suffers from depression, so i've been told, teenagers, and kids in general, really just need someone, someone who'll listen to them, someone whom they know that respects them and will listen

[@RainLiss]

I saw this guy speak at a conference I went to in high school. Absolutely amazing speaker with a phenomenal story

[@bluetheleopardcat1324]

0-12 years old: "Let me do that dear" The day after your 13th birthday: "Your growing up now,you need to learn to take care of yourself!" "When you move out,you'll thank me for teaching you to do dishes" "She's only 3! Your a teenager, you can take care of yourself!" "Get out of your room and be social" Five minutes later at dinner... "Eat with your mouth shut! Use a spoon like a girl your age!". Teenager" I just became a teen,give me a break"(breaks down and and runs out of the room crying).

[@5minutebakes500]

For me it was more like 0-9 years old :(

[@thomashopkins261]

I never had that suddenly I had to do stuff age because I'd been mowing lawns since I was strong enough to push the mower but I had to remind my parents that I wasn't 4 anymore when I was 14 and my mum was trying to stop me going out for drinks with my mates

[@alancary6917]

I’m just so happy abt all these comments, that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Yes I do have friends I talk to at school, but I have one really good friend that I hang out with outside of school. To some this is very little but to me, this is enough. Sometimes I’ve drifted or been on and off with some friends, but for the most part it has been fine. But the bad part comes in when I walked into my 9th grade English class. I only know one person in there, my neighbor. But we don’t really talk because I was super weird in elementary school and ig she judged me on that. But in some classes I feel comfortable with people, and the class while in some others like English, I literally feel so out of place. I sit in the front cause we have assigned seats unfortunately, and I just feel completely invisible. We did though have a project recently so my neighbor knows I’m not weird anymore and we’ve talked a little, but it’s so weird. My best friend is nothing like me, tons of friends, super popular, and athletic, and weve known each other since the 6th grade. (Now in 9th) but we get along so well. If anyone made it this far, thanks for reading all this rant, and have a nice day. I rly hope someone can relate to this. Edit: if u ever feel invisible, listen to “Invisible” by NF his music is so beautiful

[@wellingtonaviationchannel634]

Ahhh you're a Neil Finn fan! I'm in the same boat! His music is great!

[@smakkacowtherealone]

Since I'm not there, I'm glad that I'm assured that I might not be alone when I do.

[@ianha3264]

This made me tear up bc this so true... So many nights i cried myself to sleep because no one in my family wants to pay attention to me or talk... And they wonder why im so distant now.

[@viduminim6725]

same;-;

[@AutumnFallsOver]

I truly hope that I can be the best mother I can be to my teenage son/daughter. ❤️

[@haibai1766]

By just the fact that you watched this video and made this comment, I know you will be

[@PositiveBlue]

Start with communication. Even as a baby and toddler, I communicated with my kid. I treated them like a person, an individual, because kids are people - they're just learning a lot. I apologized when I made mistakes. I let my kid talk when they disagreed with me or were frustrated. I learned how to communicate when I was frustrated and needed a break before a conversation could continue. My kid's entire life has been built around building a relationship where my kid feels safe, seen, and heard. Some times, I still make mistakes. Some times, they still push buttons. BUT, every time my kid asked me to show up, I was there if I could be and every time my kid NEEDED me to be there, I was. I never told my kid to do as I say, not as I do. I walked my talk and I am still doing it. Keep your mind open to learning and communicating. Do the best you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Love you kid(s) and keep them safe. It'll add up.

[@levloggereuse]

I am 19 and on my way to study psychology. This talk has really put into perspective both my feelings but at the same time the fact that through this profession there is so much I wish to do and people I want to help. Outstanding talk, thank you!

[@roypetitfils]

Awesome. I'm so glad. Best to you as you move forward in your career!

[@triptinath7021]

Schneeball all the best

[@Figurecharout]

This made me cry and you understand us teenagers so well..thank you so much for your story Roy.. it was amazing.

[@billyosullivan4514]

Why

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@billyosullivan4514 Because they feel misunderstood in general ?

[@gxnja_bxby8010]

he was so spot on i started crying

[@mmmarvel]

A really really great talk. Thanks for the insight and reminder.

[@roypetitfils]

thank you so much!

[@bread6290]

I wish i could like this video over and over again. wonderful insight!

[@roypetitfils]

thanks Keziah!

[@Me-fv7iv]

@crying in the toilet | I like ur name

[@makkdogg6937]

I was trying to

[@rebecasandstrom6526]

There’s a replay button

[@bread6290]

@Me the amount of times i've changed my name is embarrassing

[@onlywithbuts1781]

This guy made me laugh and cry in one session, such a strong amazing story that touches everyone. Amazing!

[@cameronf3343]

4 months into being 17, I'd be lying to state I've ever seen anything better than this.

[@madelynpoling1738]

I'm 13 and this almost made me cry. I've written a poem about being invisible and people who read it said, oh this sounds like anti-bullying you should hang this up in the counseling office, and they completely ignored me and what I was trying to get across with those words. I just want people to listen to me, and value my opinion instead of thinking if me as just a teenager. All around me adults are trying to tell me what I need to do without hearing what I have to say or valuing my opinion. I'm invisible, even to the people who seem to pay attention at their heart of hearts don't really care. I just want to be heard, and I want my words to be valued. If only people would take the time to know this. Please don't let me remain invisible...

[@billyosullivan4514]

Then talk to them

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@billyosullivan4514 It can be hard to open up.

[@sylversquirrel4703]

@@billyosullivan4514 That's not always easy to do, and often they either don't listen or don't understand. The problem is, it's a two-way gap, and there are obstacles on both sides. I only wish it were that simple..

[@gabrielkerne9175]

Our whole lives we wait for the moment a person sitting across us says: "I see you."

[@ashe.t9576]

"I know avoid them but they also avoid me, and I don't know how to not avoid them but I don't want them to avoid me" *SAME*

[@birthdaywishes3471]

So true! I feel like people look right through me. It would be so nice if the adults in my life could see this and know it's true. We all need love and attention, that doesn't change the minute we become a teenager, but when we do turn 13, we don't get the love or attention we need.

[@roypetitfils]

great insight..."look right through me." Sometimes it can be like, they know we're there, but they still don't "see" us, right. Thanks for commenting!

[@unoriginal5839]

Roy Petitfils my attention stopped when I tried to end my life at 8

[@tot4lrand0mness59]

It's really good to have people that can see you even when you feel invisible. Just a simple "hey" can really lighten up your mood.

[@gvd3975]

I have spent the last 5 hours crying because I feel so invisible. I’m 18, so I’m still barely a teen, but this Ted Talk has spoke to me on another level. I feel so seen, I feel so validated, I feel calm. Thank you so much.