What the narcissist thinks when you finally leave them alone after the discard

[@SunBbatical]

My narc shot himself in the foot. He discarded me 2 weeks ago by ending our 7 year marriage. He sat me down to talk to me and simply said 'i'm sorry to say this but let's go our separate ways' and his reasons were very vague, nothing sensible....I told him I respect his decision. The next day I started packing my stuff and he panicked and asked me not to make quick decisions 😂😂😂 I'm still packing away slowly planning my way out. UPDATE > Hi everyone thank you for your kind comments. I just wanted to update everyone on my progress. I FINALLY MOVED OUT!!! I moved to a different city. I've levelled down in a big way in terms of standard of living/lifestyle. I've found my own little place, i'm job hunting and this past week has been the happiest I've been in a very, very long time so I say it's a big LEVEL UP!! Thanks again to all you kind hearts. Hi everyone! another update, this is 3 months later. I got an excellent job and it's so far the best job I've had. I am so happy. God is so faithful and good.

[@shannonluck5066]

Be very careful! Any signs of physical abuse or even repressed anger get out fast! ❤

[@TheDevineFempress]

Call the cops and go… the first and only time my ex husband ever hit me was when we separated and I asked him to leave my new apartment I woke up 4 days later in the icu ….

[@SunBbatical]

@@shannonluck5066 thank you

[@SaminaQazi-q8c]

It's me😂😮😊

[@richardgulley4860]

Get the hell out!!

[@AgustinaFigueroa-e2z]

ONE OF THE SADDEST THINGS IS THAT EVERY EMPATH I'VE MET HAS BEEN FORCED TO ENDURED UNIMAGINABLE CRUELTY AND SUFFERING THROUGHOUT MOST OF THEIR LIVES AT THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO CLAIMED TO LOVE THEM. ❤❤❤❤

[@vodkavuitton]

Knock it off weirdo. Most people are shitty & it's not uncommon for others to have horror stories of meeting shitty people empath or not. Get a life

[@thunder8011]

🥹🥹🥹

[@cricket88671]

It makes me realize what the Bible explains about Jesus. Never lied,never committed one sin and he helped many people in his 33years of life”But he carried his cross and died for the bad of all sinners. We must guard our hearts and not let the evil from others to change us. Vengeance belongs to God. His punishment is way worse than we could give. We good people couldn’t live with the guilt of doing wrong “ Truly give it in prayer and watch God work!! It really really does work ONCE YOU truly let it go and trust Gods got this!!

[@Butterfly72890]

I think alot of people use the word "I love you" to manipulate you at this point. We are called to discern fruit 🍓🍉 so I be lookin now 🧐

[@Kat_862]

Very true

[@123raven4]

They always want the other person to feel like they did something wrong!! BINGO!!!!

[@Agheel963]

Narc I know f'd up and wanted me to apologise

[@roydied15]

I gave my ex probably the most effort I’ve given anyone I’ve ever dated in my 32 years on this planet. She discarded me 72hrs after the best night we had in our entire relationship, gaslighting ME saying that I was making things too serious and moving too fast and such when I know for a fact it was mutual and her avoidant ass started to catch feelings and got scared so she ran for the hills. Or so I thought…. Come to find out that like a week into no contact, my sister creeped her Instagram (for the record, I actually did NOT ask my sister to do this and even voiced my displeasure in her doing so and sending me screen shots), and not only had she taken down any evidence that I existed in her life at any point in time, but put back up (or unarchived) all of her pics she had with her ex before me. She used me as a rebound and caught feelings that she didn’t plan to catch, then blamed me and said I was the problem for “moving too fast” when I was just reciprocating the same energy she gave to me, only for her to start hitting up her ex again less than 2 weeks after dumping me. Truly shameful, emotionally immature, and frankly narcissistic behavior. I initially thought she was an avoidant, but now I’m starting to think she’s just a narcissist, posting all these things on her stories and such (again, my sister told me) about “freedom” and “growth” and all those cool buzz words, as if she dumped Jeffrey Dahmer when I can guarantee that no man has, or even will treat her as well as I did. She even told me that, again, like 3 days before she dumped me via text.

[@Roblu-k6u]

They’ll use an old excuse over and over. Ask you something and quickly accuse you of snapping at them your mad and they like to do this when they see you with a beer or around another female they’ll say your drunk or your being rude because of the other person

[@Melvina1975]

Non stop and about everything they do even though we know were not doing anything wrong at all!!!

[@52cardsFacedown]

​@@Roblu-k6u 🤨🤨🤨

[@SAMSUN21]

They are people users and will cut you loose when they don’t need you anymore.

[@cherrieguitar]

💯

[@chantellecosgrove4858]

They don't feel nothing! They don't care

[@watchthisusa]

Well which is it?

[@user56gghtf]

They want to be in control. No contact. Silence. No reaction. It's crazy driving to them because, although they will not admit it, it's reality showing them they're not in control at all.

[@1111spiritualone]

1000 agree

[@lucindafalcon483]

Thank you so much he has devastated my whole life it’s been a whole year I left him June 12 of 23 and just four days ago he started his crap found me on TikTok and started commenting on mine and my new boyfriend’s pictures

[@user56gghtf]

@@lucindafalcon483 they're going to lurk.

[@MelissaGtafkam17]

Even when they have new supply. It’s the funniest thing ever

[@raindrops-z4w]

It’s really not funny it’s devastating and sad you can’t get away from these. Demons

[@gutsandgrittv5076]

They will ruin your reputation to save their own.

[@cherrieguitar]

💯

[@nicselectronics81]

Try to, can't stop God's plan

[@LeahIsHereNow]

If some random narcissist can ruin your reputation, you must not have had a very stable reputation to begin with because why would anybody listen to them? Anybody who falls off because a narcissist is talking badly about is not someone you should be worried about. They weren’t your friends anyway.

[@HealingQueen]

@@gutsandgrittv5076 don’t worry about their smear campaign against you- they are living in constant self preservation mode , they will say horrible things about strangers - you got close and they collected information, that’s their ammo- you’re peace, happiness and resilience is their kryptonite - live your best life without them. You deserve to be happy and have peace ✌️

[@ahhwe-any7434]

If you're talking about all the direct little personal connections ppl have w/ narcissism that's a little bit easier. But there's levels to even narcissism. If it's that other narcissism that tries to control your actual entire world/ bubble, then I might not always be friendly in general, but I will never fake kissing arse Not only does it feel degrading, they gotta be stupid as 🥴 s to think ppl rnt trying to gain something from them, ..too. Bc surrrpriiisssee, they're prob narcissistic as well, yaaay 🤗. Must make me feel so warm & fuzzy inside. Ikr, it's Soo shocking. I'm not the attention narcissists want. I'll call everyone out & damn put everyone down, if called for. Otherwise, I wasn't even bugging anyone. Stalking me is like being disgusted by the fact that I don't poop solids all the time. Liiikkkeee, the hell r u stalking me for? Also freedom of speech makes more sense in essay form bc it's just that. If I wanted to make a speech I would. Like I'll save that for some course, at least I get cred for it, thx. Meanwhile a ish post is just that. Don't judge me by the ish I say on the toilet or don't. There's a time u know u're supposed to be presentable. There's other xs where ppl need to stop trying to force others to care when it's not even like that. I am not capable of caring that much about strangers through a screen anyways. No1 is. Bc could I really ever do anything about it? Not really. Ramble but that's all I'm doing. As opposed to some platform that solely focuses on , scratch. That puts more focus on Actual r.ships. bc like honestly, who the f am I supposed to be impressing? Bc that's news to me. Anyways, narcissism on a personal level is funny to me. Get an army of brokest of the broke permafd ignorant ppl together & yeahNo

[@pamelaskaggs8739]

Digging a hole for someone else but falling into it yourself is straight from the Bible!

[@KarenKeating-t2p]

Amen 🙏

[@howyduinyall7653]

Take the Bible outta school wham, chaos.

[@jamesh8648]

Ecclesiasticus 27:26 KJV: Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that setteth a trap shall be taken therein. 🙏📿

[@SeekAfterGod]

great memory you know your bible 💪

[@curtiscollins2174]

Very well said sir. Ecc. 27:26.

[@arthurshat7793]

They hate losing control. And get very insecure because they think they’re better than you. ‘Why aren’t you fawning over me? Don’t you know how better I am than you?’ Truly sick people.

[@tinaureta9891]

@@arthurshat7793 Why aren’t you fawning over me? Wicked…. I was in such a fog after 25 long Faithful hardworking years of Marriage to help him be the Naval Commander …. That he tricked me into saying, “ I’m sorry if I did anything wrong, Please don’t go.” Sobbing and Sobbing. I was brainwashed and desperate not to lose my family unit. And for WHAT! He was running off with his NEW LIFE AND NEW SUPPLY. It’s been a year now… he’s paying for it dearly. Never to hear my voice again. And Alimony is huge. Grass IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

[@MMAAQQ123]

Literally my mother.

[@TheLace]

@@MMAAQQ123so was you the golden child, the scapegoat, or the invisible 🫥 child?

[@MMAAQQ123]

@@TheLace scapegoat & invisible child. Definitely not the golden one lmao

[@Mask_On504]

Sometimes you don’t need closure 🎯

[@joannturi3968]

The best closure is closing the door and turning the page.

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

Best closure is living a life filled with happiness and peace. Don’t give the narcissist a thought. They don’t even deserve that.

[@michaelthompson-li7zs]

Having had enough is closure . Was told recently by a narc "friend" i had never been any support to them and i should "pee off". I have!!! I'm an empath and will never stop being what or who I am - just more selective of who is deserving of my love and kindness

[@shani.ninety]

Disrespect is the only closure I need

[@Mask_On504]

@@shani.ninety 🎯🎯🎯

[@wendydaniel1110]

You don't need to seek closure when you are dealing with a Narcissist. Close it out yourself, shut the door and walk away with your dignity, self respect and power. Those are the qualities they lack..❤

[@elezde]

So true. Cut off a narcissist, going on two months now. I know they want me to run to them, but my heels are firmly planted in the ground. Let them stew in their toxic juices. Mind games be damned....

[@curtiscollins2174]

Very well said.. firmly planted..

[@jenniferphillips3561]

Same here

[@morganblackshear1705]

Bravo👏🏾 : insight in getting out of clear & present danger 🤥😵‍💫🧐

[@jnorway7295]

I was miserable 2 years into my relationship with my very handsome fiance. His mind games, yelling 3-4 days a week & jealousy were out of control & I didn't know the term "narcassism" then. I felt suicidal & my self-esteem was GONE; right where he wanted it. I hid it from my out of state family who he forbid me to visit for 16 months. That was hard on me. Thank God my friends were supportive & even my employer (a surgeon) saw what my relationship was doing to me & my job performance. So the dr gave me a female counselor's business card & told me to call her ASAP. At my first appointment with her, she explained narcassistic behaviour 😮. OMG, finally...there's an explanation to my fiance's Jekyll & Hyde, emotionally abusive personality! One day, after we both came home from work, as I was making dinner, he told me: "Get out of my house!" with both his hands facing me like 🖐🖐. I turned off the stove & said, "OK... I will..." Hmm, he did NOT expect that. I started packing my clothes in the car & said "I'll have my friend's help pack & move my big things tomorrow". His response was "Oh babe, don't go. You're the love of my life!!" (What?!) I said to his face, "Stop playing Mind Phuck with me...I'm SO outta here!" I cancelled the wedding plan & got my own apartment. After the 4 years we were together, my ONLY regret was I hadn't left his sorry handsome ass 3.5 YEARS SOONER!!! Do NOT EVER get involved with a narcassist!!

[@viewerwatching5712]

She divorced me after 20 years together. As soon as I moved I blocked her everywhere. Its now been 10 months and I haven't said a word to her and she will never hear this voice ever! She has tried hoovering many times and I ignored them all, she; is disgusting to me and she belongs to the streets.

[@MarkFritscher]

Same here brother

[@NikkiJ]

They’re gross.

[@lightitup33333]

It’s hard to keep them from reaching me through all their flying monkeys

[@chasradcliffe1045]

Same here. Stay gone it’s the only way

[@TheHempCreative]

It's been 10 months for me too. 13 years of hell he tackled me down a staircase and broke my foot and tore my rotator cuff. I am now finally walking and have tons of physical therapy still to go. Just this past week he had been trying to contact me! The audacity! I lost my job, failed my school semester and fell behind on everything I worked my tail off for. So much physical pain I've been going through for almost a year, that's besides the emotional and financial pain. Even though I have so much to say! So much to scream to that monster! He will Never hear my voice again!!

[@bikinibaetay6803]

I blocked him, changed my number and moved across the country. Guess i’ll never know what he thinks lol!

[@emrosa1843]

Exactly like and old house,I don't live there anymore so what the new tenants do is not my business.

[@ausgaze]

I did this too lol. I had to change numbers

[@truthhurtshuh5443]

Blocked and shut down my social media.

[@michaeloneill5877]

It irrelevant what he thinks

[@nicholettej1742]

Well done!

[@sonlightpsalm942]

Let's face it. Both the narcissist and sensitive person (empath) are both damaged, and looking outside of themselves for validation. The narcissist is in your life for one reason. For you to learn to heal from them, and their shenanigans. To learn to love yourself more than seeking their love and validation that you may not have gotten as a child. The difference between them and us, is we don't take advantage of them, but we can not ever find love and validation through them, as it not within them. The truth is they can never give it because those are the very things that they lack, but seek to control you, and feed off of your resources, such as time, money, property, making them look good, feeding off of the emotional pain that they cause, etc.) 😊❤😊 The journey to healing is an inward journey of self love and validation, and cutting the cancer of the brokeness they create. You don't have to hate them, you have to understand the principles of how they operate so you don't get bamboozled again, or you'll have to repeat the lesson either with them, or someone just like them.😊

[@lj6871]

100 % truth

[@AshleyJones-kw8bv]

🎯

[@reneegardner2286]

An empath is just a codependent person

[@lj6871]

@@reneegardner2286 I'm an empath and I'm not codependant. I've been single for years!

[@saulescamilla3605]

@@reneegardner2286 I believe you mean narcissists which is why they are known for having multiple supplies.

[@everett552]

They basically want and need people to chase them...NOT!!!Not only does it give them an ego boost but it gives them a fuel hit too... He can get it elsewhere from the ones he did me dirty with behind my back....This well has run dry, dismantled and removed over 5 yrs ago ✌️

[@Agheel963]

Once we close the door they are never getting back in 😊

[@silverlaptop2022]

They don't care, they just feed off their other suplies . Save yourself, keep away from them. Ask God to help you, He will, and He will restore your peace🌹

[@c4goldreptiles1]

Watching them spring their own trap is kinda rewarding. I know my ex is feeling the loss. It makes me feel good to know that I have created freedom through no contact. knowing that they need to get out of the trap is truly the turning of tables in their own game.

[@AgernonTheUnfair]

Don’t be happy if they feel sad even if they abused. They are miserable and you can really love they will suffer for ever. The more I learn about them the more I’m sad for them they are empty and constant have voices in their heads destroying their egos

[@AkiTheLionAli01]

Forgiveness sets you free. Forgive them to forget them to move on.

[@jenj3299]

​@@AgernonTheUnfair Not our problem

[@AgernonTheUnfair]

@@jenj3299 i didn’t have the same experience. I’m a sigma empath so since the beginning I destroyed the girl without knowing so I now I feel bad knowing she will be miserable forever. I’m also catholic so I’m trying to love everyone. But I understand and respect your hate for them they are monsters

[@AkiTheLionAli01]

@@AgernonTheUnfair this ie where forgiveness works both ways meaning forgive yourself.. no you can not possibly ever make them happy or remove their suffering, it's not your fault and nothing you can do about it so no need for any guilt or blame instead forgive them out of pity and forgive yourself enough to forget their fake persona they made to connect with you and abuse you so that you can be free truly without guilt or pain and knowing you did nothing. The old saying goes if you truly love them let them go. If you truly love you then don't blame a disorder or trail of others onto yourself you can not help or fix everyone or their disorder or abuse or be accountable for any sins another commits. You still need to heal friend. Once you truly heal you will forgive them but also forgive yourself enough not to feel any guilt, remorse, bad feelings for their pain as it is not in your power nor are you a God. Only a God or they themselves can fix this not you. You need to focus on healing, self love and self care.

[@ttt69420]

This only works if they haven't found sufficient supply elsewhere, which for women especially, is easy. But, you must tell them goodbye and no contact regardless. As hard as it is, you have to let go of the delusion that they still care and will come back. They don't, and they won't - they've already erased it or replaced it. Probably long before they left. You have to accept this.

[@PrayingWarfare]

Then why do they still hoover if they replaced or erased. Let's be real. "Greed"

[@user-gs3ms2dt1G]

@@PrayingWarfare Just to see if they can get you back (control) any time they want or if their current supply runs out. You and all of their other past connections are their backup supply.

[@angelalowe6549]

This is not true in my experience. These ppl are self sabotaging even when they have something good of a grade A supply they will cheat, stalk and Hoover ex’s or new potential supply. This is my experience with a covert narcissist that I’ve know for 24 years we have an 11 year old daughter. It’s been years of the same pattern over and over again

[@denyse450]

No contact also creates this whole landslide effect with the new partner- all of their crap that was directed on you now has nowhere to go except to the new supply. It’s a beautiful thing. They just don’t ever get it. My ex has a string of women who absolutely hate him.

[@templemanning6180]

I think this is one of the best reasons, especially if they have third partied you and are feeding off the increased supply of triangulation drama.

[@MistypedCreations333]

Spot on! Exactly 💯

[@dougedoug2105]

I said this the other day. The new supply often times forgets that once they’re involved with a narcissist and you’ve been discarded, their old position opens up and that the narc NEEDS that slot to be filled. Played both sides to get fcuked in the middle 😂😂😂

[@jnorway7295]

After I left my handsome, verbally & emotionally abusive, narc ex-fiance, I went no contact. I later learned that he had left his next girlfriend (who he cheated with, while with me), then the next year moved on to yet another woman to torment. He FINALLY got counseling & omg actually married his therapist. I laughed out loud 🤣 when I read that!! Now here's the finale...last year I read his Obituary online, smiled, looked up to the Heavens & said outloud, "KARMA!!!" What a relief. He's done.

[@Gamechangerpurpose]

The cycle changes the runner becomes the chaser and the chaser becomes the runner it's a universal law

[@Sufferfish]

They lack self control, they are co dependent i believe. Being a person who can cut ties and disappear infuriates them and it shows who the stronger person is. 💪 and whos really in control when shi hits the fan

[@Prlvrboi1]

These creatures so destructive and pitiful. Thank you.

[@beautimo8482]

There‘s no bigger satisfaction than knowing I didn‘t fall into the final trap: Blocking me after the discard and me not contacting him/giving him a reaction to that. 3 months into no contact and he‘s 99% out of my system.

[@lorihoop3831]

Time heals, and every day is a win if you don't get sucked back in. Over the emotional rollercoaster. Way over it

[@beautimo8482]

@@lorihoop3831 Close to 6 months of no contact now. Trust me guys, life gets better when you focus on yourself and leave the trash where it‘s supposed to be: outside. I am constantly hitting the gym, became way more muscular and I can just see how I‘m glowing. And I heard he still wasn‘t able to replace me. I couldn‘t care less. Of course you can‘t replace loyal husband material, especially nowadays.

[@Zeeniization]

I have gone low contact with my elderly narcissistic mother, no explanation and it obviously bothers her. She said ‘I don’t want there to be a rift’, I said ‘there is no rift.’ Because there is absolutely no point in my expressing my feelings and having an adult conversation. I go in, put on an act, ignore the elephant in the room, set a timer on my watch, leave and journal. It has taken me a long time to come to this conclusion. I have taken back my power.

[@Areyouanarcissist]

Congratulations. That can't be easy

[@willmarshall4685]

I’m in the same boat. I do not share my feelings or even medical issues. I had a fairly serious surgery and didn’t tell her. What’s the point? You end up regretting any show of vulnerability. It’s sad…but it’s necessary for me to take control of my life.

[@jeanmlabrador]

Perhaps the moment you realize what they really are and the brutality they've put you through, is the moment you have closure within yourself...

[@t590-j3z]

they turn everybody against you (behind your back) but they have been having affairs etc.they make up stories to justify their actions.but when you dont bother or talk , they try to make you jelouse or get others to ask questions etc.they love gossip and creatiing it

[@Gonehermitmode]

My dad told me narcissists are similar to robots. No emotions , can’t converse , me Mr me it’s all about me not you. 😂❤hope this helps !

[@renarich4942]

What a lovely dad 😊

[@alyeskakalee814]

Your dad is correct. Me is all they ever think about. I dated several of them and it’s true they are like robots and feel nothing unless it affects them personally. You are disposable and until you void every control they have in or over you then you live in a hell they create for you if and when you reject them knowing no one is going to save you from them other than you. Run 🏃‍♀️ and don’t ever look back

[@samanthamarquez4358]

They go after everybody but if they sense they cannot manipulate that particular person THEY want then they will move on to someone else who is easier to convince

[@wonderwonderdc9875]

You don’t need to explain anymore…Your absence is closure enough… for you not them

[@justintyler1060]

I'm definitely not a weak person and I got duped. I even wondered why I put up w the push pull from her; something I would have never put up w before. However, the love bombing and infatuation phases are so strong. I've NEVER chased women, and even I did a but of chasing during the push stages. They're good at what they do. I was done before the final discard, so jokes on her lol

[@TraceyBettencourt-it9th]

How did you get to that point?

[@bridgetmenham6686]

We arent weak ..We are generally people with good souls The narcissists actually gets angry when we stand up for ourselves xx

[@tillapaugh1995]

There is research that shows that those of us in this are not weak. We tend to have parents who had npd bpd and our inner child resonates

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

I learned from the best 😂knew my parents were crazy lol 😂

[@Hy-yn1cc]

I’m scared I have a baby and the only place to live is back my parents my mom and dad are both narcissistic..

[@lindagodwin3680]

I am very grateful for the education that I am getting , answers to what was going on in my so called relationship that I was in. I had to learn all the terms of narcissistic behavior and abuse.

[@etaokha4164]

I couldn't give 2 effs about what they're feeling. What father abandon his child? I'll never forgive them and their karma are their children

[@howyduinyall7653]

Or what mother prevents the father from seeing them whilst poisoning them.

[@renarich4942]

It’s probably best he isn’t around the children lest they become like him

[@sohamyogaindia6275]

I would rather have his abandon the child. It is better than being around and confusing the child, lying to them and worse case abusing them emotionally, physically or sexually. I am praying to God to get rid of this monster from our lives permanently.

[@Hy-yn1cc]

@@sohamyogaindia6275I’m going through this . I have a one year old he is getting violent and not telling me we are roommates until he gets his citizenship papers then will divorce me after leaving me to live alone with our child . I have no job stay at home mom. He says this is the rule now he’s getting more violent and I can’t say a word to him. I have no family support and he knows I have no where to go with the baby . He says he’s here just for the baby but he disappeared for almost 2 days and came back to teach me a lesson and tell me about our roommate agreement and using our marriage for benefits like the papers or something … I just can’t believe and I’m shock. I don’t want to end up in a shelter with my one year old and he should not want this for his own child .. so he is saying to stay while I find a job and he will abandon us after he gets his citizenship and I get a job

[@Daniel-pm7np]

This can also be a time when you need to be extra alert. Especially if they're married. Be Alert!! and watch for any triangulation.

[@janetabramson6978]

I ran for my life over40 years ago and never looked back. I ALWAYS knew where he was. He died and now I can finally breathe.

[@helenbardakas1321]

No contact no feed back.

[@michaeloneill5877]

Only way to go !!!

[@OfGhouls]

I isolated myself due to my CPTSD and then the narc and his friends gang stalked me. All while smearing my name to my friends. No one ever asked me about my point of view on the subject, just watched me like a freak, like it was my fault- even though his behavior was like psychotic torture.

[@jennh6226]

I’m so sorry. Rebuild in silence and take as much time as you need ❤

[@Agheel963]

They call you crazy when you finally see behind the mask

[@karenevans9152]

Never heard of a Narcissist until I met one.I was the dumper.Wasn’t doing anything he wanted to control.They Will never be happy in their sad twisted awful lives.Can’t be cured.I have well healed.Moved on to a much peaceful happier life again.Honestly don’t care wat he is doing or how many with.Good job I am a strong woman.Staying her..🙏

[@ananonym1617]

It is a bizarre experience being in a relationship with these people.

[@sandie4870]

All they’re doing is creating enemies with every whole that they keep digging for themselves. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Catina-jz1tp]

I wish he would leave me alone… fool me once… Never again…😡💪🏽💃🏽❤️

[@ToniWilson-c4q]

I disagree , i am an empath & i am not dependant on any one , the narcissist are the ones that are codependents on others , they are the ones that jumps from one relationship to the other , without ending the last , so i disagree with what you say about empaths , empaths dont depend on others for they security blankets , thats a lie , i left 12 years ago & never went back , neither looked back after my divorce from him , he's the one that wanted to come back to me , he went as far as sending one of his flying monkeys to " Collect Me Up !! " , i didnt go & never returned to him , he was the weak one , not me

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

Agree 💯

[@shirlspark_stardust]

Truth

[@crimsonking7955]

Timing is everything, I am at a crossroads with my aging narcissistic mother. I needed to hear these words exactly when I did. Thank you.

[@SheriWilson-x3l]

So grateful to be out of that situation and have clarity Again within my life!!! 🙏

[@powerofme7144]

Once I told her, when the love bombing stopped, that the past two months felt like a big fakery, she totally backed off.

[@emen6080]

I told mine I felt like a 7/11…always there for your convenience. Never there when I needed them. Sad how stupidly I got duped. Fantastic play of events going back taking everything you said as experience. Big’ole thank you.

[@richardturner7664]

I moved 3 states away, well over 600 miles, just to avoid that very thing....Done..never Look back, its how one Heals. 👁️

[@onlydebra4580]

I walked away..I just figured he's not treating me well..he must want me to leave..because I wont take that! Uh uh..I'm good without abuse..

[@bellithia]

I really needed this right now, thank you Joe, your videos help people immensely. After 1 month of NC, he appeared back saying he was worried for my health (he also has a new supply). I answered him very cold and brief. He is relieved and keeps being kind and considerate, but it triggers me that confusion and anxiety that I no longer want. I stop and keep with my healing journey.

[@At2069-j9y]

What do you do when you just can’t leave because of illness an financial dependence? I moved from Europe to the US to advance his career. We lived in 5 different states and 15 different houses and/or apartments to advance his career. I took care off EVERYTHING! I didn’t work outside the home and catered to his every need so he could advance his career. Now that he is retired he just ignores me. He is so cruel!!

[@ChumpanZees]

Very powerful stuff Joe, thank you so much for such deep and accurate insight. This is very timely for me and believe me your work is saving lives. God bless you brother. Much love from Sydney, Australia ✝️🙏

[@stilettoeyes9734]

Heal

[@andrewrees8749]

10 yrs I've wasted, had to finally walk away, 9 weeks and counting, no contact, but I'm still on edge, as she may show up at my house, and walk straight in, she's done it before , she ticked every box of a slimey covert Narsisist !

[@Agheel963]

If i took my attention away from the narcissist and talked to other people the narcissist would always come over and take over. Then act surprised when i was leaving.

[@Cassandra0127]

Even when they have a new supply!

[@conservativemom12]

His 16-year-old new girlfriend tried to attack me. He is a 50-year-old man....going after underage girls!

[@sarahh3061]

My ex is a paedophile (didn't learn this till after) so I know the feeling :(

[@TheLace]

You should maybe report him to her parents or the law ?

[@conservativemom12]

@TheLace Will look into this. Thank you.

[@kerimorgan6665]

I have come to the conclusion that I will never get closure. After a while you just kind of stop asking and give up hope that you will ever know. I don’t think questioning what you supposedly did ever really goes away. Even knowing about NPD doesn’t really answer the lingering questions. It’s normal to wonder and to question what happened.

[@sarahharas9114]

Yes, this completely describes my familys experience with my husband's adoptive father. There was this cycle of abuse and pretend reconciliation. When we cut him off he went completely off the deep end and caused his own desstruction. Very sad and disturbing.

[@simi6152]

You are so on point in your explanation. I'm dealing with someone like this. He was so confused when I no longer cared for his attention, and I moved on.

[@catalina9876]

I just found your channel and I love it. I’m going through the discard right now. I hear the empathy in your voice, and I can tell you really know what you’re talking about. Thank you.

[@DOTMH_1]

They do move on with us as a distance memory

[@LaneyThomas-vr1gq]

I had to get a restraining order

[@lindaadams1008]

When I think about growing up and our family dynamics, I realize mental illness is real... I've been no contact for 20 years now... It's the best thing I've ever done for myself... Stay safe...🙏

[@Sarah_sunshine14]

Just love all these videos Joe….keep em coming 😂….always a delight listening to you ❤️…..Thankyou ! 🙏🏻❤️

[@penibeni1085]

Thank you. I quit playing my part when i hung up from a 3 way shouting match

[@jamieswithenbank1813]

Ive always been fine being by myself, but based on my singular experience with one severe narcissist - she HATED to be alone. To the extent that she had to find someone else before moving on. She thought I would be patient forever and that she could destroy me and then have me like a little dog with no options, while she was with other men. Total delusional fantasy. She was never all that, I only stuck it out because I was stupid enough to let myself get feelings for her, and I didn't want to give up - but honestly she was never anything good in my life and only ever caused problems and pain in the end, and she was completely incapable of keeping any promise or agreement. Breaking her word was a way for her to feel powerful, so no surprise that she literally betrayed anyone she ever worked with.

[@akhlaqkamyabi]

The dog-cartoon is very cute!

[@OneWhoKnowz]

They sure do because they are never satisfied ❤

[@6886a]

Good morning Joe 🌞 thank you 🤗❤️ btw, the ones that you do outside are really good, i miss the birds 😆. Thank you 🤗

[@trishedwards9120]

We accomplished a lot together. He was living a separate life behind my back. When he was busted, I wanted him to move. I filed for divorce. He begged me not to leave. I was surprised. He realized he messed up. He destroyed the life I thought we had. He regrets how that will affect him. He tries to convince me nothing belongs to me. He cannot change. I live in a separate part of the house. I don’t want to be near to him. Narcissist are disgusting, especially when they get caught. To be so disgusting and unable to self reflect or change. So sad. It wasn’t another woman. He was destroying me behind my back.

[@heatherlynn2695]

when there isn't anyone left to hunt they have to bait you

[@Nana-dp4hs]

ur videos somehow align with my real-life timeline...

[@MikaCream-v3u]

The art here is so beautiful I'm obsessed I love every picture they bring me serenity and peace.

[@DarkFeminine555]

Ex narcissist is in the poor house with his new supply. He brought her here from Cuba. She’s probably going through worse hell with him than I did.

[@Nanasfsw]

Here we go again. My narcissist wants to leave town again but can’t financially without my help. Not gonna happen ever again!

[@msanonymous704]

Omg I always wondered why he is going to provoke me even more, hurt me After everything he did Why Does he hate me so much? But you finally made it clear at 7:40 I am feeling so much better now, thank you!

[@helenmcclay2622]

Yep. Unblocked after I went no contact.😅 I sent a message recently of acceptnce of it all thinking I was still blocked (he blocked when I tried to get confession/closure) So I deleted fast. I blocked him & all traces. Unless he hoovers me physically. Then its done for me... forever. ✌

[@butterflycomb]

The narcissist didn't offer to do anything nice for me. Instead tried to trigger me for a reaction ..

[@RhendiHeibel]

Me too

[@11IntuitionAboveInstitution11]

I always see really negative comments towards narcissists. I've just recently discovered that I am a vulnerable/covert narcissist. I severely damaged an ex-partner due to drug addiction, which I blamed on everyone else and the addiction itself rather than taking accountability. I was incapable of feeling empathy towards anyone who was affected by my addiction, like I feel like I honestly can't put myself in other people's shoes. I didn't even realise it at the time, but I'd use silent treatment when things angered or offended my weak sense of self. I basically just tick all the boxes of covert-narcissism, and honestly, it's pretty painful to realise what I was doing to people while simultaneously realising that at the time I had zero idea what i was doing, it was all subconscious. I feel like a damaged person. I haven't dated since that ex in 2018 out of fear of doing the same thing to somebody else. I've always been highly introverted. I thought I was very introspective but I obviously wasn't because my behaviour went unchecked for years. I just want people to know that there are some self-aware narcissists who understand how poisonous they are. I feel a lot of guilt about the way I've acted.

[@TJ_775]

Go for therapy, learn a better way, forgive yourself & hold yourself to a higher standard

[@11IntuitionAboveInstitution11]

@@TJ_775 Great advice and that is what I try to do each day. Thank you.

[@boondocks8002]

And pray and ask God for forgiveness and to turn your ways and your heart to good in order to help others and be gracious in spirit. Blessings

[@TraceyBettencourt-it9th]

Would you go back to someone who was really good to you? And is liked by all ? She even drove when you were to plastered to drive, and gave up her everything for you?

[@punit257]

I'd start by saying kudos to you. You atleast have a path to understand true feelings and be able to experience joy, it'll take work but you can.

[@MelissaGtafkam17]

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it and it actually brings me some peace.

[@swagatrout8748]

I understand she called me once a month after brekup blaming me for things that are happening in her life like me telling her new guy about her or trying to reach her through common friends. I had never done any of that once it was over it was really over for me

[@czeketa6140]

Do not give ANY approval after discard (that could be simply saying ‘hello’ back after they text weeks later) They don’t want you, they just need a justification for their bad behavior to relieve their own guilt. Simple ‘hello’ will do that. (‘oh, she/he replied. I must not be so bad after all.’)This further enables their bad behavior.

[@lioubovgrant1935]

Good morning ! 🌞 New video and a cup of Joe with Joe !☕☕ Life is good ! 🤗❤

[@teresagarcia7580]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂cute

[@TBD3.0]

Keep your head on a swivel and always follow Gods teachings above all and you will never go wrong.

[@JasonD81]

Amen 🙏🏼 Your 💯 % correct Great comment 🙏🏼✝️🕊️

[@Breezy_Summer]

I wrote a super long message recently getting out all of my feelings then I blocked them. I also did that to who turned out to be his gf and not just a friend like I thought because she's married. It was all online. I can't do the letter writing cathartic release stuff unless I can send it to the person. I feel so much better after doing that. I'm getting back to paying attention to things I enjoy and finding joy again. I miss him every so often. The relief I felt unexpectedly knowing I wouldn't have to talk to him again though was a good surprise because it made me feel like I really did make the right decision. I realized he was a serious energy vampire. I think the gf who I thought was a friend is a narcist and maybe projecting onto him. It's not my circus anymore so I try not to waste my time thinking about who could be what.

[@mariellegervais8825]

Your words and the imagery were soothing. Thank you.

[@bvad7884]

Can you do a video on why the narc thinks you will never leave them? And also one on what happens when the narc sees you moved on to someone else?

[@Luke747gal]

Adding to this, please do more on the narc always devaluing their main supply no matter how great the supply is: money, status, gullible, useful.

[@reneegardner2286]

That's the whole reason why they treat you bad, because they don't think you'll leave. You get stuck in their cycle.

[@missb1982]

The narc thinks you'll never leave because of their inflated ego and sense of self. They are delusional and feel they know just what to do to trick ppl into staying with them because it's what's worked for them so many times. And when they see you've moved on that ego still tells them they can get you back. Like a whole game. As long as they can keep you believing in the confidant inflated mask, the ego is safe. But if you can see through that, they know you'll discover that they're really pieces of 💩 and hate themselves. And they do not want that at all costs. They want you to believe in them. The hoover is to check and see if you still believe in the mask. They'll check from time to time to see if you still believe in their false self. But once you realize 100 percent without a shadow of a doubt who that real person actually is, you'll no longer want them near you and they'll know it.

[@Lenak2266]

Yes you express this very well! Also if your sensitive to other people's energy and you've been away from them for a whilst then somehow or other you communicate with them again you realise how toxic their energy is! Especially if you've been around good l loving people who's e nergy feels peaceful and makes you feel good. I stay well clear their energy makes you feel not peaceful and dogs up your mind ! They're so chaotic and I feel the hate coming from them quite easily now ! I can spot them a mile off ! Stay well clear !Don't be fooled by their being nice act trying to win you back. God Bless !✨💗✨🙏

[@nessauk2786]

Ask them what they want and its guarenteed to be the oppsite to what you want.they force you to hate them.

[@Deborah-l1m]

Very well said! They are exactly like that! Thank you for your very valid explanation.

[@ananonym1617]

Motivational indeed, for those of us pondering why we were devalued and discarded…and in no contact finally. It is time to accept that people can do whatever they want, we control nothing much in life, but we can control our reactions to bizarre nonsense.

[@carolnahigian9518]

yes! be free! FIND JOY AND Peace

[@diamerist88879]

Recently my boyfriend kept purposefully bothering me about something we’ve spoken about 3x within the week before. I finally called him out on it and he got mad and said shit like, “who are you to be saying shit to me? You’re nothing. You have nothing. You’re nobody.” Blah blah. So, I started acting like nothing to him. Cause he needs me more than I need him, that’s for sure. Soon as I reminded him of what he said to me, all of a sudden he “never said that.” But failed to tell me what he said if not THAT. Later in the day, we were just chatting and I said something normal responding to him, he said “you love to lie.” In a half joking way but I wasn’t joking when I kindly reminded him that HE’S the one who loves to lie. He quickly changed the subject after that. If you listen close enough and sometimes for long enough, they always tell on themselves. I can’t wait to get out of here.

[@diamerist88879]

You can’t joke with them without them showing their true selves. Yesterday I was making a joke that I’d be as tall as him on Monday because at the time, I was standing on my toes to hug him. This mf gon look me dead in my face and say, “when ? When you’re in hell…” I said “you think I’m going to hell ?” Asked him that TWICE. Another quick change of the subject. That shit was not funny to me. I’m not religious but that’s not a joke to me. He said it with a straight face too. I just let it slide because it’s more ammo to leave his stupid ass. Am I tripping ?

[@MeriaChristinaHavana]

I told him We're not compatible and he run away and get his own place😂

[@HealingQueen]

Absolutely he thought he was the most clever person on the planet, often bragging about his high IQ and comparing himself to myself & others while his personal life was a disaster.. trying to convince me that all my many flaws were to blame for the sudden and abrupt breakup ( discard) , which occurred a week after his bday when I surprised him with a plane ticket to finally visit his family , we held hands kissed and he told me many times he loved me and that it was such a big deal that I’d done that . I told him that after 5 years together I was ready to move towards us being married as we’d been discussing before our planned trip to meet his family together , this all happened two weeks before my birthday. I’ve since learned that narcissist like to devastate people who love them by blowing up important events. My ex got a three in one 😣 I got up quietly picked up my coffee cup, thanked him for the coffee and left the cafe with my head held high and not a single tear. He looked confused and stared at a spot on the floor as I walked away. ( not the response he expected from me) 😌

[@keeeennnny]

I had one or someone with narcissistic traits dump me on the day before my birthday, then took me back on my birthday

[@snowberryheartpetssanctuary]

God bless you! It will be hard, but you’re doing the right thing and the only thing that will ever bring you peace and self-respect. ❤. You’re in my prayers!

[@agusia1217]

😂 CLOSURE 😅 I ALREADY GOT THE CLOSURE BY WALKING AWAY 😂

[@monabarber2335]

I just found Your channel and I love ❤You ! You are exactly right ! They will go Nuts when they lose control over You ! Thx so much !

[@rashidarowe7882]

Great content, can you do a video on when you dump the narc and they moves on to someone else but still wants to keep you in theìr lives, so they go back and forth between you and their new supply.

[@kaoshi_kutie]

@rashidarowe7882 Why are you allowing this though? It should be a straight block and NO Contact. You staying in this shows the Narc you are okay with being used . He does not care for either of you, it’s the SUPPLY and CONTROL he is after, unfortunately you are letting him do it ❤