What They Don’t Tell You About ‘Love Languages’

What They Don’t Tell You About ‘Love Languages’ #short

[@tkc403]

Wow! This makes sense! My love language is acts of service, but my toxic trait is that im a procrastinator and I struggle to get things done quickly, so if someone does it for me I love it 🤯

[@dreyes397]

😂😂

[@SpindarellaMotloung]

Wow😂

[@user-cq4so1oh9u]

Lmfaoooo me tew

[@Alexis-dx4zc]

Omg this is funny but actually true asf

[@Alexis-dx4zc]

I’m still mind blown, thank you because I just learned this about myself today

[@Kefkiruja]

Just goes to show a good relationship is when your partner can cover for what you lack.

[@ninarodriguez6158]

Beautifully said

[@Seekers2.0Hindi]

Truly insightful.

[@AlisonRuthless]

As someone whose love language is words of affirmation, I can 100% agree with this. Negative self-talk is huge.

[@inhumanjoey310]

Every person on the planet wants and gives words of affirmation. It's comes with being a good person.

[@adammcinnes5615]

On the one hand, I agree with what she says about toxic traits based on love languages in myself: •Words to affirmation: lots of negative self-talk •Physical touch: feel like I am repulsive to others, don't take good care of myself •Quality time: I don't take time for myself and my needs It also affects how I give love to others: •Words of affirmation: I know how much it hurts to have negative things said about you •Acts of service: I know what it's like to not have others do nice things for you (and what it's like when others treat you poorly) •Receiving gifts: I give thoughtful gifts because I know what it's like to livebin poverty and what it's like to not have someone respect you individual characteristics •Quality time: I know what it's like to be lonely and what it's like for no one to want to spend time with you •Physical touch: I know how good it can feel to be touched in a truly loving way as well as what it feels like when others treat you as repulsive So I would say my personal love languages are based on toxic traits in myself, and I show love in ways that others don't have to feel the pain that I feel inside.

[@inhumanjoey310]

She's a walking contradiction

[@isaidwhatisaid3564]

we’ll never be perfect we all have toxic traits and ALWAYS will, it’s about how toxic

[@jiliciar.1423]

I agree tbh.

[@isaidwhatisaid3564]

@@jiliciar.1423 I’m telling you cause it’s absolutely ludicrous if we’re about to start finding negatives to love languages and judging others because of it. We all have trauma and flaws, as long as we try to be our best selves it what matters.

[@Its7n]

If mine is physical touch, does that mean I don't touch myself enough?💀

[@jenster29]

Yeah i want an answer to this too

[@user-cq4so1oh9u]

Yep because healthy nature is wen u are aroused by your own self no need for external factors..nd pleasing yourself is better

[@Nusasen3584]

Maybe but not necessarily. Probably things like -not liking, appreciating or taking care of your physical body -being unaware of you or others physical boundaries and body language - having a hard time differentiating between basic physical affection from others vs genuine love and care -and oddly enough being an extreme germaphobe, hating PDA or recoiling from physical affection from anyone but your partner

[@barb7124]

I communicate through touch. Im a dancer and a massage therapist. Growing up I was not kind to myself. Im had eating disorders ans self-hrrmd. Its not about seegs.

[@Seekers2.0Hindi]

😂😂

[@ChristyMurphyWriter]

OMg! This is so true. I just took the quiz, and my love language is "acts of service." I just got diagnosed with ADHD. When my guy takes my car in for an oil change or does this dishes, I feel like I've hit the love lottery.

[@somethingbetter6818]

Which quiz? Done

[@oshunenergy3884]

Ppl need shadow work that’s the issue

[@jackjack4412]

Self awareness is missing

[@waterwolf982]

Shadow work isn’t required. Sometimes clues, like body language, and a little bit of communication, can get you your result. Though, maybe that’s because I appreciate not having to rely on those things- like tarot, scribing, or like you mentioned, shadow work

[@benedictballesteros3717]

@@waterwolf982soo are you saying that understanding and accepting the parts of yourself that you probably neglected isn’t necessary for a healthy relationship?

[@waterwolf982]

@@benedictballesteros3717 I am not saying that at all. I suppose I was trying to convey that you do not have to rely on a spiritual method to understand yourself or anyone else. As for Shadow work, which is looking into yourself, I'm saying you do not have to do utilize it to also look deeper into yourself. Looking into yourself, even the awkward or disliked parts is 100% necessary for a healthy relationship! But you don't always need shadow work for for it. Everyday I think deeply about my actions and what stuff may have caused it. Like if I had lashed out, for example, I try my best to follow the stem down into the roots so I can hopefully prevent such a thing happening again. It has been difficult at times to understand myself, but I'm still growing to be a better me. And I haven't practiced ever (and likely won't since my method works best for me). Though, like in my previous comment, I might just have a negative bias towards shadow work. I try to remain as respectful as possible to safely get the point across- since KZbin's comment section can easily be fired up. Though, I will say if you DO need shadow work to see into yourself, then I'm glad you found what works best for you.

[@benedictballesteros3717]

@@waterwolf982yes i do agree, there’s no one method to understand one’s self, and yeah you don’t have to be spiritual to understand yourself cause there are many methods of doing so other than shadow work.

[@RedArmyMedic]

More examples please

[@rnbsteenstar]

My three main love languages are physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

[@JeffreyScott-yr5wb]

Hi

[@monicatorres4686]

My love language is quality of time, I love spending time with my self. I have no problem .. but when I was with my husband.. it’s only natural I think to want to have that quality time.. you love them you want to spend time with them, right? 🤷‍♀️

[@furyberserk]

There's a psychological test here on KZbin that suggests your personality based of faces you are afraid of. Mine was manic. I then incorporated it into positive things such as creating a story. I'm still a recluse, but I can now talk with passion and flare. Incorporate your negatives into your positives with desires and focus. It may help

[@meel.369]

What is the name of the video?

[@mantiilove]

​@meel.369 look up face psychology test . On internet

[@Yoyomeyo]

wellll that's not true for me. I give myself plenty of alone time but quality time is my top love language

[@Glowwyangel]

Could also be toxic for others or a "hate language" do you ever ignore someone or avoid them when you're upset? Or find yourself distancing from people? These can count as toxic traits if it's to an extent :)

[@ChristopherCraven]

But that is the inverse, you give yourself alone time, but appreciate and love when someone you love makes you not spend time by yourself. That is the inverse. How did you just come to the conclusion this didn't apply to you, when you immediantly described two averse characteristics?

[@monicatorres4686]

Me too!

[@user-eh8ku8xz9p]

When your love language is physical touch and you realize it’s because you’re insecure

[@hellihello2333]

Well for me my love language is words of affirmation but that comes from my parents constanly talking me down

[@halihali3135]

Same

[@ChristopherCraven]

​@@halihali3135and the result of having your parents constantly talk you down, is that a part of you thinks they are right, which is why you like positive affirmations.

[@JDoomhauer87]

Mine is quality time, even though I self isolate

[@michellea9857]

This feels like a nature vs nurture type of debate, and the likelihood it’s a mixture of the two.

[@navadawilliams4413]

She is perfectly right to heaven and back!!! It's not always the best aroma when your partner is extremely dependent on constant reassurance, validation, motivation, etc to feel normal

[@hibbah3210]

My love language is physical touch, what's my toxic trait? (Idk how this works)

[@duckwithadream]

Same I need answers TwT

[@ManifestingDestiny]

I'm guessing not enough massage, physical self care, pampering for the body, scalp, skin and hands????

[@SpindarellaMotloung]

@@ManifestingDestiny😂😂

[@Nusasen3584]

For me it’s things like this! : -not liking, appreciating or taking care of your physical body -being unaware of you or others physical boundaries and body language - having a hard time differentiating between basic physical affection from others vs genuine love and care -and oddly enough being an extreme germaphobe, hating PDA or recoiling from physical affection from anyone but your partner

[@pro.dreamer01]

mine is the 6th love language and it honestly makes sense cuz idk shit abt myself

[@tessayaslin]

Where can I find the full episode ??

[@TheCoffeeBreakup]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iJ3RfKiMpLyDhsk

[@headtrippinearthling4899]

Sheesh, this woman be looking like a straight ten! I don't really voice my opinion on such matters but, sometimes you just gotta simp with a limp.

[@glorious6779]

So true 👍

[@yunglion.]

Wow this is spot on, mine is quality time as well because I'm very busy working a lot for other people

[@growth_mind_set]

Good insight.

[@luvinsingin07]

Gifts + ADHD = Impulse-purchasing presents for myself, I guess 😂😅

[@queenmc8786]

Where is the full interview

[@0vermars520]

Gifts of service because I'm broke. It makes sense now

[@dreamynikkivibess]

Yesss makes sense

[@polsap9985]

So mine is physical touch. She says you cant do that for yourself, yet i touch myself all the time...😂

[@Hannahdealer8180]

BAHAHAHA

[@dudette2c]

😂

[@ChristianaToyin]

🤦🏾‍♀️😂😂

[@missrani5656]

No I think for pshysical touch the toxic trait is you crave a lot of physical affection maybe you never got that much affection growing up like hugs and head pats and kisses which happened Ed with me personally So mine is physical touch as I always felt there was no one there to understand me So I wanted someone to just hug me right and say it's all gonna be ok Just the thing that someone is there it happens with abondonmenr issues too when u feel like there is no one for physical touch releases oxytocin plus it makes u feel safe and secure which u may have not felt

[@AUTHENTICALLYYOU88]

Where can I find the entire podcast for this?

[@MorganBanda777]

So what if yours is physical touch

[@inhumanjoey310]

Another reason you dont listen to women on this subject. Words of affirmation come with being a good-hearted human being. Nothing special. She told you, fellas. She's goin to give thee bare minimum, lmao.

[@alexandriaaugustin2611]

negative self talk

[@voltear]

Whoooa, thats wild

[@illusoryLifeee]

Now I know what's wrong going on

[@JasonHeilmanMusicalRemedies]

Could be true - also, might not be

[@jahearlmartin6490]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Nelfa183]

Jesus this is ao accurate

[@jackjack4412]

This is basic 1+1 = 2 type of psychology. Self awareness, self respect, and self love guys.

[@ChristopherCraven]

1+1=2 philosophy would be "ppsitive reinforcement gives positive feedback" Disnmssing this as basic just feels off the mark.

[@RDotDizzle11]

Yup

[@rhondab4655]

Can someone give an example of the dark side of acts of service?

[@ananieva4096]

Hmmm yeah agree its "probably". Bevaise this is not the case most of the time.

[@lezleabel3945]

Ok so my main love language is receiving gifts… would my negative trait be being stingy? (I’m clearly no smart)

[@5050TM]

I love doing things for other people but have little drive to do things for myself. Does that count?

[@georgesonm1774]

So - if one has no toxic traits or unmet needs - no need for love? :)

[@michaelchifulo4696]

More examples

[@neshthepisces]

WOW!!!!!!

[@brixandblooms]

Self sabotage wow

[@chrais78]

Interesting

[@ItsOkayToBeHappy]

🤯

[@Name..........]

Psdeo science

[@nalaninani8005]

Probably should exercise self love

[@jackjack4412]

That's really the key

[@rolandorzabal1955]

This short clip didn't really make sense. I need more examples of how these can be dark

[@krishamaymosende3261]

What if my Love Language is everything, this definitely answers the opposites of what I've been feeling and wanting.

[@diamondlungs3020]

What if you dont have a love language?

[@Glowwyangel]

Everyone does. How do you know if someone loves you? If they spend time with you? If they give you gifts? Those can be translated to love languages

[@diamondlungs3020]

@@Glowwyangel i literally dont have one i dont believe in love

[@Glowwyangel]

@@diamondlungs3020 you don't have to believe in anything to experience it. You doing things for others is a love language whether you feel it or not :)

[@erika-sm4bu]

​@@Glowwyangel wow really I never knew that.. I honestly don't even know what love language is so that's why I'm here trying to get ideas and see if I can relate or just understand it more.

[@Glowwyangel]

@@erika-sm4bu happy my comment helped someone! If you wanna figure out what a love language is and what yours is find out your hate language. It's the opposite of your love language. What do you do if you don't like someone? Give them silent treatment = words for affirmations Hit them = Physical touch Neglect them with physical essentials/wants = Gifts. Love languages are just the way be best express our feeling to someone! :)

[@nancydee6106]

Speak for urself 😮

[@TorisTerrorTime]

Me who has no love language: 🫠

[@Hannahdealer8180]

You can learn to do this for yourself, you just have a limiting belief or a weakness in this area. Get rid of the limiting belief and start working to improve until your weakness is a strenght. Love you xo

[@sharky8882]

Mine is quality time and acts of service

[@Tshego2000]

Love languages aren't real

[@The_cAtLasToR23]

What if my love language is teasing? What meh toxic trait?