What to Do If Your Husband is Immature | Paul Friedman

[@bellabong8862]

Being completely honest, I have watched/read several of your videos/comments up till now and had mixed feelings. Mixed because I felt some of your advice would require one to be delusional and put up with a spouse's negative traits with a smile. Something clicked for me in this video. The realization that we can feel happier in marriage (and personally as well) by simply flipping a switch in our minds to change our perception of an annoying trait into a positive one (i.e., instead of immaturity, see it as a cute childlike quality) is very simple but really profound. I struggle with depression and realize it is due to the unconscious habit of habitually choosing to entertain negative, unloving thoughts about both myself and others. Bam. Simple as that. According to this video, I can consciously choose to simply observe any negative thought that pops up to pass on by and let it serve as a reminder to think of a positive, loving one. I've resisted this type of strategy because I want to remain grounded in reality, but I realize that perception can be what you CHOOSE (glass is half full, yada yada) and choosing positivity is not choosing a delusion necessarily. It does mean the difference between happiness and misery, though. If it's that simple, why wouldn't I do that? I loved how you spoke about letting love flow through you. It made me understand that when we allow ourselves to be conduits of love from a higher source (God, the Universe, or energy or whatever you believe), the love that flows through us to our spouses and everyone is also received by us in the process, and we can experience the emotional healing that love causes. Love engenders understanding and acceptance of perceived faults and can transmute them into endearing qualities if we so choose. Wow, this puts a different spin on the prevailing mantra of "self love" that is touted everywhere it seems. That brand of self-love sounds good on paper but it just seems a bit narcissistic to me and I couldn't quite get with it. I think the truth about it is that choosing to allow God's love (or whatever source you believe it comes from) to flow through us to others and choosing to see the good in others will enable us to also see the good in ourselves. Thanks for allowing me to rant on. I'm truly grateful for the words of wisdom you've shared. Thank you so very much.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

You do get it and it is not theory but the most important realization you have ever had, run with it! The "problem" is that we must master our minds for this to work. For that, for most people, including myself, an exquisite tool was "given" to me, the SEW technique. I am so glad you hung in there. Now, bannish those unwanted thoughts and feelings forever.

[@bellabong8862]

@@TheMarriageFoundation I know I'm now on the right path and, again, thank you for making this wonderful video. It caused a paradigm shift in my thinking. I will learn about the SEW method. Thank you for sharing that with me. Much love to you and thank you for all you do for your listeners.

[@ThereIsHopeWithGod]

This is *SUPERB* for daily meditation...and not just for marriage. 1 Corinthians 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. THIS VERSE BELOW IS ENGRAVED ON MY WEDDING RING: (a good reminder...) *And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.* Much love & peace to you b'shem Yeshua (in Jesus' name.)

[@hannah_aeiou]

I’m not married, but I will be using this method with my current boyfriend. I think a lot of my judge-mental mindset in that area is an exact reflection of my mom and how she has always been in her relationships. I heavily believe in being souls in “meat suits” and having this experience. I never thought about just changing the perspective of judgement of viewing things as “immature” and turning it into love. Now I will. Thank you.

[@tanyasites4890]

OMG! This is such great advice and I am putting it to use right away. Thank you so much. I love your videos, and your voice is so calm and soothing I could listen to you talk all day!

[@Moon-lt5bi]

Thank you! Your videos are reminding me to keep an open heart. Do you advise that perspective in all relationships (friends, family, and work) or specifically for our partners.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

The world is cruel and will people will take advantage of you so use your discrimination. I have gradually set aside my protections and increased my love for all, but you have to take time with that strategy in your general life. However, in your marriage it is meant to all-in with love.

[@melstyle7619]

From what I have learned from you I want to ask you something semi off topic. The teen that did in the 18 kids in Texas. Couldn’t that have been prevented with the right up bringing? But everyone talks of taking guns away in the western culture. Instead lets replace bad parenting with love. 💗💗💗💗 Am I close?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

We are only here to serve those who want their marriage to soar into the realms of love and joy. There is no panacea for world troubles other than love but society is still learning.