How To Deal With An Emotionally Immature Partner & When To Leave the Relationship

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Күн бұрын

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@ReeseBose-db8tj 3 ай бұрын

An emotionally immature avoidant partner is a nightmare, absolutely nothing can get resolved. Anything you say and do can and will be used against you!

@martinturcin2297 Ай бұрын

I agree

@courtneyhall3761 27 күн бұрын

Yep I tried but it turns into an argument.

@jforrester1208 4 ай бұрын

In my experience it is completely futile to try to communicate with an emotionally immature person. They just don't see the world the way others do and they have no idea that their behavior can be inappropriate.

@easygoing6397 4 ай бұрын

You are right except for the part when you say they don't have any idea that their behavior's inappropriate: oh Yes they (do) have (every) idea that their behavior's (inappropriate) - for sure!!!!

@Clevelandsteamer324 4 ай бұрын

It’s like trying to kick water up the stairs

@Zetos 3 ай бұрын

I think that's the point, that it's pointless and you have to set boundaries in order to proceed in your life.

@ArabaDowell 3 ай бұрын

Agree!

@ArabaDowell 3 ай бұрын

@@Clevelandsteamer324 So true!

@ipaycloseattention Ай бұрын

No matter how calmly I bring up something, no matter how many I feel statements I use, no matter how much I tell him it's not an attack, he tells me I'm attacking him and that he's just not enough for me. Then he goes into a deep depression for days where he's completely shut down. We end up having to slap a sex Band-Aid on it just to get him out of his shell again. It's ridiculous.

@mochachaiguy Ай бұрын

Always on eggshells trying to figure out what the approach should be to avoid a meltdown and it’s different every time. I often get “if you only said it this way…”. I have no faith that said approach would actually have avoided another crisis.

@ipaycloseattention Ай бұрын

OMG mine is constantly telling me what I should have said instead.

@mochachaiguy Ай бұрын

@@ipaycloseattention Ugh. Sorry to hear that.

@kianaraymond3012 4 ай бұрын

I had to let the person go, it became overwhelming. Especially when the person isn’t putting in the work.

@martinturcin2297 Ай бұрын

I want to do the same

@Tmcsinger91 Ай бұрын

Same I can relate to that I had to cut off a now ex friend because of that ❤

@martinturcin2297 Ай бұрын

I can't stand my partner ge gaslights and acts like he dosnt understand he makes me want to leave my own home to live in peace

@MissEbony821 4 ай бұрын

In my situation my partner shuts down. It’s like he’s in his own little world. When I attempt to talk to something serious or my feelings he will either not respond or he’ll respond by talking about something totally unrelated. I remember once telling him about something traumatic from my childhood and he responded by changing the subject and talking about how much he likes chik-fil-A. So now I’ll politely repeat myself but he will simply not respond and claim he didn’t hear me. When I lose my cool and explode on him he just sits there with a weird confused look on his face. Then he will respond to what I’m saying but with a very short sighted response. I’m so over it

@antoniostrina82 4 ай бұрын

This is the mistake I made in my relationship many years ago. She was an emotionally immature person, but I was immature and stubborn as well, even if I never had emotional issues.

@baumbaumkuchen 27 күн бұрын

'I' statements don't always work. The emotionally immature person can use it against you, and you're told you're the one that gets unreasonably triggered and that's something you need to work on, rather than the emotionally immature person taking accountability for their poor behaviour.

@katb3735 4 ай бұрын

The last few words of what you said are my reality. And I haven’t been able to cut the cord. It’s very unhealthy for me.

@bruceroberts8815 Ай бұрын

Same

@lesliengo8347 4 ай бұрын

I don't have a partner but I do have parents, especially my dad, who are emotionally immature. I think this applies to all close relationships. Communicating, setting boundaries and accepting different ideas is crucial to having a good relationship. Sometimes, when I tried addressing issues with my dad, he doesn't have the emotional maturity to properly address it, shuttting down the conversation. However, by knowing he doesn't have the emotional maturity, I can understand why and not blame him for being a selfish or terrible person.

@romerlydramos 2 ай бұрын

HAD to let go (after literal years of relationship) but the part of addressing the issue not the person works on anyone, that really resonates xo

@percystreet 4 ай бұрын

Everything!!!!!………. Absolutely everything……………oh dear God………I think it is called covert narcissism

@bidbadgray 4 ай бұрын

I think I'm the immature one really

@vw3749 4 ай бұрын

Self realisation is the first step towards the healing proces❤ Namaste

@chrisdigitalartist 4 ай бұрын

How to Deal with an Emotionally Immature Partner & When to Leave the relationship. Julia, thanks for bringing up this topic in today’s KZbin video. I am not in a romantic relationship; however, I think these things still relate to family members and friends. Here are my notes: * A relationship with an immature partner can leave you feeling lonely, isolating, not meeting your needs, not sure how to meet their needs. * We can't change anyone else, but we can have a managed mind to help change any situation. What to do: * What types of things are they immature about? * Don't be afraid of addressing the person's behavior. * Don't lose your "steady". Their immature response does not create yours. * Communicate what is okay with you, and what is not okay with you. (Clear, clean, and classy) * Open up conversations using language like: "There is an issue here. Let's Talk about it." * Reframe the problem as "The two of us against the issue." * Accept some differences. Notable Quotes: * "Resentment in a relationship is poison, and once enough resentment has been built it is almost impossible to recover from it." - Dr. John Gottman * "60 % of all conflict in relationships is unresolvable." - Dr. John Gottman

@lindab6974 4 ай бұрын

Set a timeline. Otherwise you're gonna get stuck being their mommy.

@ielohim2423 3 ай бұрын

or Daddy

@remydrh 28 күн бұрын

When trying to resolve conflict I try to reach for understanding. When I explain my part (intentions) so they know my reasoning I'm told I'm "defensive" despite the fact I'm open to changing my behavior. It's frustrating. I'm trying to open a dialogue so that we can understand each other's reasons and motivations. Knowing we aren't trying to be hurtful and maybe we're making bad assumptions. But constantly I'm told it's a defensive behavior. I should just accept I was "wrong" regardless of what I meant or intended.

@thewishingpooltarot5425 4 ай бұрын

Thank you Julia, this was really helpful. What I found useful is changing the perspective to we have an issue rather than you do this.

@Clevelandsteamer324 4 ай бұрын

You leave. No one is going to change. Get out right away

@aliahmedyacin721 4 ай бұрын

With one condition: That immature partner shouldn't be a narcissist. If he or she is a narcissist, you are in big trouble.

@Nick-kf3io 4 ай бұрын

It really doesn't matter though. If they're immature and show no willingness to learn or change, labeling them a narcissist or not doesn't really matter. All that matters is getting away from them with your sanity intact

@aliahmedyacin721 4 ай бұрын

@@Nick-kf3io You are right, Nick, 100%

@VonKrieg 14 күн бұрын

How to handle an emotionally immature partner. Drop them, move on.

@tulsibloom 4 ай бұрын

Great video❤

@yaroslavlebed7964 3 ай бұрын

Thank you.

@ArabaDowell 3 ай бұрын

This is great.

@petrabeuck1019 4 ай бұрын

Hi,Julia! I have not a Partner for a very long Time and looking not for one ! I AM NOT INTERESTING ON IT!

@mochachaiguy Ай бұрын

Great point on resentment. For me, this has killed our sex life for the past 10 years.

@ricklegendary2990 3 ай бұрын

i tried to comminicate about her emotional neglect, i dont say she does it, but she doesnt respond to my bid for affections, when i bring it up, she gets upset and says i always start things, thats the way she is, but she wasnt this way before.

@thebirima91 2 ай бұрын

That is the problem. It’s alike masking that avoidants and autistic people are capable of doing during courtship. Fair to say that I neglected some red flags too. However I could never have thought in my wildest dream in what situationship I find myself now.

@ricklegendary2990 2 ай бұрын

@@thebirima91 crazy right

@thebirima91 2 ай бұрын

@@ricklegendary2990 Yes!