What to do when you go through an endless cycle of bad sleep followed by better sleep

Many people with chronic insomnia go through a lengthy period of poor sleep followed by a short period of better sleep, only for the bad nights to return and the cycle to continue where it left off.
This is actually quite common, and the good news is that the good sleep that follows the hard nights is evidence that your sleep system is working as it should - when sleep drive builds (through repeated nights of poor sleep) it soon becomes strong enough to overpower the arousal system (usually the culprit for the bad nights) and this leads to better sleep.
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Unfortunately, after you experience enough sleep to relieve this sleep drive, the arousal system can - once again - take over and make sleep more difficult. So, you end up trapped in a cycle of poor sleep followed by better sleep, followed by poor sleep, and so on.
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If this sounds familiar, I encourage you to look into cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques. CBT-I techniques specifically address the thoughts and behaviors that activate the arousal system and make sleep more difficult. The result is less worry and anxiety, better sleep, and fewer bad nights.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach KZbin channel is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice or medical treatment and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other licensed healthcare provider. All content is provided as is, and without warranties.
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[@InsomniaCoach]

All content found on the Insomnia Coach KZbin channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[@jarheadjake101]

Due to the pandemic my sleep got all messed up do to working from home, stress and anxiety. I experienced a couple bad nights in a row only getting a couple hours of sleep a night and then I became worried and anxious about getting enough sleep. This turned into a vicious cycle of a few bad nights and a couple good nights for about 3 months. I started implementing CBT-I techniques and they have really helped me get back on track. When I do find myself struggling to fall asleep I go to my living room to reset. That’s been huge. I also keep busy throughout my day. Days where I am more sedentary I tend to have more trouble falling asleep. Exercise has helped a lot too. My mind starts to follow my behaviors. So sticking to a routine and keeping myself from constant worry about sleep has been key this far. All in all I just want to say thank you for this valuable information. It is very noble of you to share such valuable knowledge. I can sleep!

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you so much for sharing, Jake! Would you be interested in coming onto the podcast to discuss all the great points you mentioned in this comment? If so, please drop me an email: [e-mail]

[@dillonpeterson1658]

😮

[@loriscolangeli6142]

Yep, few days of bad sleep until my body is too tired to care about anxiety, I pass out and sleep great for 2-3 days and so it repeats

[@InsomniaCoach]

You might find something useful in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bmfUdZKJe7WXaJY

[@richdamico7524]

I can't believe how wonderful this channel is, I wish I had this information when I went through my bout of insomnia back in 2001 when I was 44, I did everything wrong and broke all the CBT-I rules. At the time it lead to sever clinical depression, something I never experienced in my life before that time, 20 years later I am completely healthy with no meds. . Now knowing this information, I plan to stay that way. The only question is, what is done with someone who comes to you so far gone they are clinically depressed and non-functional? Thank you for putting this info out in the way you do, I am sure you are saving many lives.

[@InsomniaCoach]

I really appreciate your kind words and you sharing your experience, Rich. If someone comes to me clinically depressed and non-functional then I am not the right person to help them, since I am not a licensed healthcare provider.

[@musa8180]

your channel is very helpful bro , stay blessed

[@InsomniaCoach]

I appreciate the kind words - thanks, Musa!

[@seanking6184]

This is great to hear unfortunately I can’t access CBT-I for at least a month... what can I do in the meantime?

[@InsomniaCoach]

It's possible to implement these techniques by yourself! Here's an overview: insomniacoach.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia/

[@weiszsantosify]

Martin I've already enrolled in your course waiting for week 2. My problem is my house is small and the TV is near my bed. Can I watch TV before bedtime because watching TV relaxes me. But now I'm 2 days with no sleep. and I'm on sleep restriction.

[@InsomniaCoach]

If possible, I'd suggest watching TV in the living room or somewhere other than in your bed. We want you to associate the bed with sleep and nothing else, in order to make the bed a strong trigger for sleep. It's hard to accomplish that if you are doing things in bed other than sleeping. I hope this helps!

[@augustsim8851]

Hi Martin, I am doing CBTi for 2 months now, but this week I have trouble falling asleep and I don't know that else I can do. I am doing stimulus control, but still every night I just don't fall asleep. After few hours of no sleep finally I' m out but then in the morning I feel very tired. In the evenings I feel a bit anxious about my sleep, but then I try meditation and other techniques to calm my nerves down, but eventually when I'm in bed I still can't fall asleep. This month I only had few days of good sleep and five days in a row of not so good sleep and I'm getting frustated that this circle won't end. What else should I do? P.s. love your videos, keep it going.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Back when sleep wasn't an issue or a concern, were you trying as hard as you are now to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts and feelings?

[@MikeL0084]

Martin, by "CBT-I techniques", are you simply referring to implementing a strict sleep window and the 'get out of bed if you don't fall asleep within 20 minutes or so' things?

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for the great question, Michael! Sleep restriction (observing a regular and appropriate sleep window) and stimulus control (reserving the bed only for sleep) are the two primary behavioral components of CBT-I. I think many people can be successful with those techniques alone. CBT-I will usually include a sleep education component to help address incorrect/inappropriate sleep-related thoughts and beliefs (this is the cognitive part), information on relaxation techniques, and a component dedicated to relapse prevention so you know what to do should sleep issues return in the future. You might find Episode 1 of the Insomnia Coach Podcast helpful - it's taken from a Facebook Live and gives a general overview of CBT-I techniques: insomniacoach.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-insomnia-ep1/ I hope this helps!

[@MikeL0084]

@@InsomniaCoach Thank you Martin. Do you have anything at all that addresses relapse prevention specifically? My sleep drive/pressure always builds up nicely after a week or so of CBT-I and I begin doing well. But once it wears off and my window becomes bigger and bigger I am prone to relapse. It seems as if I cannot sleep well consistently without a strong sleep drive/being exhausted and I want to change that for good.

[@InsomniaCoach]

​@@MikeL0084 I wonder if you might be extending your sleep window prematurely, or by too much time. Ideally, you want to be filling your sleep window with sleep for a couple of weeks before extending your sleep window. Then, try adding around 15 minutes to the sleep window for a week or two and see how you're doing. If you are still filling the window with sleep, add another 15 minutes and repeat the process. You might find this video helpful: How (and when) to change your sleep window when implementing sleep restriction for chronic insomnia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qnnPdqKgrplkZtE

[@AkshayBarge1]

I think I should try CBTI now. It has been an endless cycle since 4 months of sleepless nights followed by some sleep. I hit the bed at 12 AM but cannot sleep before 3 or 4 AM. And then I have to get up at 9 Am for work resulting in incomplete sleep I am worried. Please let me know more about CBT and where I can get it

[@InsomniaCoach]

Here's an overview of CBT-I: insomniacoach.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia/

[@colinpatrick2729]

Hi Martin going through all your old videos for inspiration. Can the arousal system give you rubbish sleep every night regardless of sleep drive. Ie you are getting sleep but its not that great quality therefor both are in a see saw situation and finely balanced (arousal v sleep drive). Ie you do sleep but its not so great, every night. I do still worry about sleep as lets face it its not nice not sleeping well and i think this is what is creeping into the sleep i do have

[@InsomniaCoach]

Arousal can temporarily suspend sleep, but sleep drive always wins in the end because it continues to build with every minute of wakefulness.