When insomnia comes back: how to deal with insomnia relapses when insomnia returns

Many of us recognize that every day of our lives won’t always be fantastic, won’t always be great, and won’t even always be good. So, I think it makes sense to consider that every night of our lives won’t always be fantastic, won’t always be great, and won’t always be good.
In other words, just as each day isn’t always as good as (or better than) the previous day, each night won’t always be as good as (or better than) the previous night, either.
Here’s the thing - difficult nights themselves aren’t really the problem. It’s our reaction to difficult nights that usually determines how long they’ll stick around for. When we don’t react much to difficult nights, we give sleep the opportunity to get right back on track all by itself.
Related video:
Get rid of chronic insomnia by getting rid of sleep efforts and safety behaviors: • Get rid of chronic ins...
The best response to an insomnia relapse is not to respond at all - at least, in the short term! Continue going about your day as normal, avoid the temptation to go to bed earlier or stay in bed later or to nap during the day. Continue to do things that bring joy and enrichment to your life and refuse to allow concern about sleep to control your life or your decisions. In other words, avoid the temptation to modify your life or your routine in response to this temporary sleep disruption.
Related video:
Adding more enjoyable moments to your life and planning fun activities reduces the power of insomnia: • Adding more enjoyable ...
Now, let’s say that your sleep doesn’t seem to get right back on track all by itself - even though you feel you haven’t made any changes since those difficult nights returned, maybe you’ve found yourself struggling with sleep for a few weeks.
In this case, I’d suggest re-implementing any techniques you found helpful in the past. If you’re a regular viewer of this channel, you know that I am a big believer in cognitive and behavioral techniques such as sleep restriction and stimulus control. If you’ve implemented techniques like these in the past (and found them helpful) then you can simply implement them again - just as they proved to be helpful in the past, they’ll almost certainly prove to be helpful again!
Related video:
Watch me use my mystical powers to reveal how your sleep issues began and why you now have insomnia: • Watch me use my mystic...
Perhaps the most important response to difficult nights, though, is going about our days as normally as possible - because if we can live our lives as though insomnia doesn’t exist, it often stops existing, because when we give sleep less of a role and less of an influence in our lives, we often start to put less effort into sleep, put less pressure on ourselves to sleep and allow the body to take care of sleep all by itself - which is exactly what it wants to do.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach KZbin channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
#insomnia
#sleep

[@InsomniaCoach]

All content found on the Insomnia Coach KZbin channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[@yonj3269]

I sleep and dream and during the dream I hear what is happening in the other room and I know what they are talking about then I get active Is this considered sleep?

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@yonj3269 It's hard to say for sure - we only know that sleep is happening for sure when we measure brainwaves. If you can hear sounds from other rooms, you might be awake. If you are dreaming, you are probably asleep. It's entirely possible to be somewhere in-between, too - sleep isn't just "on or off"!

[@SongofaBeach2012]

Today there was an active shooter at my sons highschool. Thankfully noone was injured and the suspect was apprehended. But it was very stressful and now its 1am and Im wide awake. I think the adrenaline of dealing with police and being around other frightened parents and students before I was finally able to pick up my son safely had and still has my adrenaline going. I hope I can sleep soon but even if I dont I think being sleepless after such an event is normal. Your videos are so comforting and reassuring. And even better your voice is very relaxing and its helping me calm down.

[@spottedpardalote]

I’ll be sleeping well for 5 or so days, have one bad night and then I’m right back to square one with insomnia. It feels like it will never end- and my anxiety is worse during relapses because I thought it was all over at last

[@Clapstick77]

Same here.

[@xmynationalanthemx]

I think it’s important to remember that sometimes, sleep is elusive. Having one or two or even three bad nights in a row is something many people go through. You just gotta always remember that eventually, you WILL sleep again.

[@vibingbig488]

Well doing fun activities and adding richment to our lifes gives serotonin making us crave less simulation at night because we feel satisfied and happy. It’s when we go to sleep sad and had no fun activities during the day where we feel hyper arosed

[@dodgdurango6128]

I got months and months of the best sleep of my life. then all the sudden two bad nights put me back into the anxiety and ocd panic. Tossing and turning all night from anxious thoughts

[@TruthisMarching]

I'm in the grip of insomnia fear right now. I just love this guy. Have had debilitating insomnia all my life. I recently decided to travel, knowing it was a risk. I don't want insomnia to totally rule my life. It's been brutal. I'm wondering how long people can live without sleep, but I don't want to know because I'm afraid my brain will set it as a new goal! It's got to be the most diabolical problem ever. Martin really calms me down. I'd give my right arm to sleep like a normal human being.

[@mikebucur8461]

''Thoughts are just thoughts so they require no rection beyond recognizing them as though'' - Great quote!!! We are not our thoughts but still many people identify with thoughts and get stuck into terrible long-term loops that diminish their Mental Health.

[@user-du6vh9mm4d]

just want to say thank you! I am having a relapse due my severe health anxiety and post-lung surgery, and I feel extremely overwhelm. it's truly a blessing for this video.

[@hozay6552]

It’s been a while since I’ve had bad insomnia where I couldn’t initialize sleep. Sadly a heavy load of school work came in recently, and now my insomnia came back.

[@Dajlec]

Your content is life changing. As with most psychology issues it is all about the perception of ones situation. And the way you are able to explain things is really helpful. After almost a year of searching I finally found this channel and I am grateful

[@InsomniaCoach]

Your words really mean a lot to me, Dejan. Thank you.

[@pilarboutte392]

Yes, it took me some years. I had to keep journals to see my progress. And read them and re read them. And come back to Martin, and Daniel. Folks: it totally works. The content is FREE. ALL OF IT. Zero dollars spent to get coached. YOU are your own coach. The guys are extra help if you have the idea you need to buy help. But I did not. I am fit, lean, I sleep plenty. Health❤

[@Clapstick77]

Back with a relapse this week after well over a year of decent sleep. It started with a bad night where I couldn’t sleep due to terrible indigestion. So I did what you should never do, I decided to sleep in that day. Then that night I couldn’t get to sleep. Frustration set in and I started going back to my old behaviors again of trying to force myself to sleep. I’m so glad these videos exist. I’m not back to sleeping good yet but Martin is a true lifesaver.

[@basiabarbara3365]

Thank you Martin for the reminder. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I consider myself as a 'overcomer' of insomnia , but sometimes I experience relapses and to listen the talks like yours helps to bring back the balance:)

[@InsomniaCoach]

So glad to hear this - thanks for sharing, Basia!

[@shwetabhatia1679]

Hi Basia, I relapsed too... But my issue is... I get so much anxious even if I don't sleep well one night.. Then it continues in cycle... For several nights... What do you do? In such cases

[@basiabarbara3365]

@@shwetabhatia1679 hi:) It’s continuous work we need to do, isn’t it? When sometimes I get similar to yours, I tend to work around my attitude towards my sleep and/or anxiety about it. I found acceptance commitment therapy very helpful in changing my relationship with sleep:) It’s normal to have bad nights sometimes and it’s normal to have anxiety. The most important is to not get stacked in negative thinking, believing the worst and focusing on whatever you feel. Whether is tiredness or anxiety. It’s all ok, and cannot harm you:) Be kind with yourself:)

[@shwetabhatia1679]

@@basiabarbara3365 I agree feel like continuous work lol. I liked your comment, it was so positive.. Thank you.. I also need to accept less sleep somehow someday.. It is a viscous anxiety about sleep and then not sleeping well cycle which I somehow can't break and want to break.. I really liked your comment when you said tiredness and anxiety can't harm you 😊

[@jymloke]

What an awesome video, especially the analogy around tripping...puts a lot of my fear at ease

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for the kind words, Mike! I'm glad to know you liked the tripping analogy and that this video helped put a lot of your fear at ease.

[@surafelgetachew2300]

Thank you!

[@akkhan8972]

Thank you thank you bless you for these videos

[@l4zrh4wk]

Huge help, thank you!

[@patb8138]

Really enjoyed the video Martin! I loved the tripping analogy...! Hope you are well.

[@redaa195]

You are amazing Martin, thank you.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Ah, I am humbled by your kind words! Thank you!

[@rashaunaraphael3666]

Wow. The day after my relapse I found this video. Helped me sooo much. Thank you!

[@vitalbodystudio]

Very helpful as usual Martin. Thank you!

[@InsomniaCoach]

You're welcome, Jack! I appreciate you taking the time to share that you found this video helpful!

[@chiragraju821]

Wow. Thanks a lot.

[@InsomniaCoach]

You're welcome, Chirag!

[@vitalrestandrecoveryclinic7752]

Very funny and accurate. Thank you!

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts - and, you're welcome!

[@pamw3238]

You are absolutely amazing!!

[@InsomniaCoach]

You are so kind, Pam!

[@musa8180]

Thank you so much you changed my life

[@InsomniaCoach]

I appreciate your kind words. You changed your life!

[@mariarooney6262]

Such wisdom and perspective. I even chuckled at the described scenario. Thank you so very much.

[@aussiesoapgirl3378]

Hi Dr Reed, what do you think of sleep meditation videos?

[@memento_mori6019]

We don’t deserve you Martin! Tysm for all your outreach towards those afflicted by difficult nights!

[@InsomniaCoach]

I appreciate your kind words! Thank you for your support!

[@lakegirl7729]

You’re changing my life, Martin. Thank you for everything you do!!!

[@InsomniaCoach]

If you are using what I share to make helpful changes, then you are the one changing your own life! I appreciate your kind words!

[@nildamarcelo5104]

Always be grateful for each night of restorative sleep and keep a positive attitude.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing, Nilda!

[@vitalynewman1315]

thnx!

[@InsomniaCoach]

You're welcome!

[@knowwhatsup8464]

Very helpful video.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for letting me know!

[@LsgNyembe]

Iv been taking Dopaquel for a year now would you recommend it long term ?

[@belsdiary9137]

Thank you so much for your videos. I really needed to hear this today.

[@vivifalabella]

Dr Reed, you seem to read our minds, and know exactly, the mechanisms we’ve implemented when bossed with sleep deprivation. You make us feel at ease as there is hope. Thank you so much

[@InsomniaCoach]

Ah, no mind reading here - it's just that insomnia is virtually identical from person to person! There is ALWAYS hope! Oh, and just to clarify - I am not a doctor! Thanks for sharing, Vivi!

[@briano.2431]

Great video. Your 'tripping' analogy at the 4:00 min mark really cracked me up. I guess in truth there is humor. Exactly the message I need to stop overthinking my rough nights. Thanks.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing, Brian! When framed another way, sometimes we might see that our responses to all this difficult stuff might not be helpful!

[@TheEnterr1]

I was never expecting to be watching your videos ever again :D.. but here I am on a vacation and my brain thinks it's 2019 again :D

[@june8898]

Thank you Martin! This was excellent and a great reminder for those of us who go into full panic mode when a few bad nights occur. I always tell myself “after a few days, you’ll be back on track”, but at times it can be difficult to remember that. Thanks again for the reminder

[@InsomniaCoach]

You are welcome - thank you for your engagement! I think that panic mode is the brain's default mode since that's often the most effective way to protect us from danger. However, with insomnia, the "danger" is almost always a perceived threat rather than a genuine physical threat!

[@jeffboone7959]

I wish i could like your vidieos more than once. I find myself watching your old vidieos every few months when I have a rough night.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing, Jeff! I hope they are proving helpful!

[@jeffboone7959]

@@InsomniaCoach yes they are

[@pheonixm2678]

Hello Martin, you have no idea how much your channel has helped me and many people as I have had severe insomnia in the past that focused on not being able to fall asleep. Now I wake up after 4 hours at most and if I’m lucky I’d get 5.5 hours of sleep. This has been going on for a handful of nights that’s why I decided to come back on here and ask for your advice. I’d feel tired and not refreshed during the day and I’d get dry/red eyes because I get so little sleep when I use to get like 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Any tips? Thank you.

[@InsomniaCoach]

When you wake after about four hours of sleep, why do you think you find it hard to fall back to sleep? If you were getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night, what would you be doing differently in your life?

[@heathershanley6537]

Thank you for all your videos - so helpful! I have a question - I’ve been having an annoying once a week no sleep night for the past four weeks where it goes like this: bad/no sleep first night, second night do restriction and get some sleep, third night much better sleep, fourth night crash. Then it’s usually the weekend and I have some alcohol and sleep well but then it’s all back when I don’t drink. Granted I’m probably thinking about it that day a little bit like “I hope I get sleep bc maybe the good sleeping was from alcohol”. Do you think this random night is happening bc I’m giving it life thinking about it or do I just need to do sleep restriction those other days even though I can easily crash and sleep 7-9 hours? I’m getting really sick and frustrated by this so thank you for any help!

[@InsomniaCoach]

Hello Heather! An inconsistent/inappropriate sleep schedule can definitely set us up for a bit of a rollercoaster ride - you might find this video helpful: How to stop the sleep roller coaster and make sleep more consistent and more predictable - kzbin.info/www/bejne/bmfUdZKJe7WXaJY

[@faizashiekh6603]

Absolutely 💯

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing, Faiza!

[@paulinaferiancova8195]

Hello, Martin, Thank you for those videos, reminders and tips. I went through some bad insomnia last year and had seven months of very good sleep. My anxiety disappeared as soon as I started to sleep again, thanks to cognitive behavioural therapy. Sadly, in the past few weeks, my sleep went from bad to worst, with some nights with 0-2 hours of sleep. I panicked and started taking herbs, drops, CBD oil, you name it. Of course, I tried to remember everything I know any CBT, but somehow I find it very difficult to stick to it this time. I re-watched some of your videos and it helped me to calm down a bit. It really helped me the last time and I believe that it will help me again. I just need to stick to it and commit to it completely. Thanx for the reminder, Martin.

[@InsomniaCoach]

It's so easy to get pulled back into unworkable behaviors when things are difficult! What's important is noticing when this is happening, and changing direction!

[@noellewest4347]

This is very practical advice. One thing I would like to add for anyone reading these comments though is that autism (which is often undiagnosed in adults) plays a significant role in the need to control one's environment. The hypothetical scenario of going out of one's way to avoid tripping is a perfect example of how an autistic person, particularly those who are high-achieving and called "high-functioning" (aka Autism Level 1/Aspergergian), may behave. And, unsurprisingly, insomnia is a frequently documented comorbidity of the autism spectrum.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you for contributing your expertise, Noelle.

[@smfh3492]

Thank you so much for sharing your much appreciated advice via these videos. So so helpful. Would really value advice on how to approach broken sleep resulting from last trimester/new baby. Sleeping on demand not easy when there is a small window of opportunity nor dictated by you! Also have found that this broken sleep has subsequently led to insomnia (not sleeping even when baby is sleeping for longer periods). Thank you

[@InsomniaCoach]

You know, I think at times like this we might have to accept that there's going to be some sleep disruption and practice some self-compassion! If sleep still proves to be difficult once a baby is following a more predictable sleep pattern, that might be a time when we can start to work on implementing techniques that will bring a bit more consistency to our own sleep!

[@yogafitnesswithvbw187]

Hi Martin 👋 I hope you're doing well my sleep relapsed again this is making me feel not well my stress was, I didn't clients to teach yoga 😬 and pandemic situation in india 🇮🇳 scary also stopped body clock from 2 months..

[@InsomniaCoach]

I hope this video was helpful. Remember, we always get to choose whether we take actions and do things (no matter how small) during the day that help us live the kind of life we want to live - sleep doesn't control that.

[@andrewb50]

First time meeting a friend since lockdown, I was so anxious it kept me up. I got 1 hour or less and I must admit I did think “oh no I hope the i word hasn’t returned” it’s happened to me so many times with sleep anxiety but I deal with it much better but it’s still upsetting none the less.

[@InsomniaCoach]

If you felt anxious, we know you're human Andrew! Every human being lives with anxiety - the most important thing, though, is what you do in response. Did you still meet your friend the next day?

[@andrewb50]

@@InsomniaCoach I did meet my friend that day and I went out for cycle ride, I felt actually quite good after it. I also slept well later that night, I did watch this video and it gave me that encouragement not to cancel and not let the negative aspects of poor night stop me.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@andrewb50 Thanks for sharing that big insight, Andrew - and good on you for committing to meet your friend, even after a difficult night!

[@lauraleshchiner9530]

Martin please explain the difference between slipeeness and tiredness .

[@InsomniaCoach]

Here's a video on that, Laura: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sJuVdodugdmDbaM

[@spennynash]

Feels like an addiction. Like you go to rehab, get some therapy, like Sleep restriction start to improve then all of a sudden it's back. Crept back in and made itself at home. For me it was 18 months, took me a while to get back on track but here I am.

[@InsomniaCoach]

How did you get back on track, other than with sleep restriction? Was there any change in your relationship with the thoughts, feelings, and emotions generated by your brain?

[@mospencer7660]

@@InsomniaCoach I had to go back to basics. No chilling out in my bedroom during the evening. I extended the time I was up from 17hrs to 18hrs in order to feel sleepy. I showered just before bed, so I was relaxed. I used the 4-7-8 method once I was in bed. This focused my mind and breathing and I don't lay down until I start yawning.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@mospencer7660 Thanks for sharing!

[@sarahjameson1180]

Hi Martin, thanks so much for your video. Currently going through a relapse after sleeping well for a few weeks. My mind starts to panic and I can feel a rush of cortisol which is keeping me awake which is super frustrating. Do you have any tips or techniques to reduce anxiety when lying in bed? Would rather stay in bed and rest than be up and about if possible

[@InsomniaCoach]

If it feels good to be in bed, that suggests that conditions are right for sleep to occur - so I think it's fine to stay in bed! If being in bed doesn't feel good, it might be worth getting out of bed to do something more appealing until conditions feel better for sleep. There's not a whole lot we can do to reduce or eliminate anxiety since that's a symptom of having thoughts - something the brain is hard-wired to do! Acknowledging and accepting anxious thoughts can be more helpful over the long term.

[@richardbryant3600]

Hello Martin. I have dealt with Insomnia in 2012 for about a year but with CPT-I I was able to master sleep for over a decade. I had one bad night a few days ago and it has continued. It's not the thoughts that get me, my anxiety comes when I am getting comfortable. It's like minute my mind starts to see that I'm about to fall asleep all hell breaks loose. And this thought and feeling is elusive. I can't expose myself to it or allow it to run its course because the moment it occurs anxiety hits I'm awake and it's gone again. Please let me know if this is common and what i need to do.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Nothing unusual here, Richard - although it is, of course, difficult. It sounds as though a lot of your struggle comes from an (understandable!) unwillingness to experience anxiety - and yet, as you know from experience, the more you try to fight or avoid the anxiety, the more difficult everything becomes, right? So, with that in mind, perhaps an alternative approach that involves allowing anxiety to come and go as it pleases might be more workable?

[@maisie6904]

I was laughing to myself when you compared tripping over - I tripped today ( and do so frequently) because I was so damned tired Re many sleepless nights - today I didn’t hurt myself - just dropped a carton of cream when shopping - simply embarrassed- hoping sleep will come.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Glad you didn't hurt yourself when you tripped today! Yesterday I knocked an entire dish of food out of the microwave and it went all over the floor - and that was in the afternoon and after a great night of sleep!

[@isxaxrealxgirl]

Just wanted to say how helpful your videos and website have been and how grateful I am they were available to the public even though you have a paid course as well. I'd had insomnia issues in the past and eventually got over it, but recently had another "flare up" and found all my old fears coming back because I had never addressed the underlying anxiety about and emotional attachment to sleep. After two bad weeks I've found myself slowly gaining control of my mindset and a lot of improvement to my sleep.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you so much for sharing - your words mean a lot! What did you start to do or change to address the underlying anxiety about sleep and the emotional attachment you had to sleep?

[@isxaxrealxgirl]

@@InsomniaCoach It really helped me to realize that the reason I was not falling asleep was not that I had somehow "damaged" my ability to sleep by having insomnia multiple nights in a row, but that my anxiety was keeping me amped up - and if I could lessen my anxiety response, the sleep pressure I was building would win out. So I shifted my focus from suddenly trying to pile on half a dozen new sleep hygiene habits that I never needed before to just making sure I was living my life mostly as normal and not focusing on sleep so much during the day. At night I focused on feeling comfortable in bed as my goal and not falling asleep. Not looking at the clock is also key for me! I've learned there's no real use to knowing the exact number of hours I did or did not sleep at the expense of creating anxiety around knowing how late the hour is.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@isxaxrealxgirl I love it! Such powerful stuff here - recognizing that we can't control sleep and focusing attention on what we can control (the behaviors that help us move toward the kind of life we want to live, regardless of how we sleep) can be truly transformative! Not putting effort into sleep and not checking the clock can also be really helpful! Thanks again for sharing - how long would you say the process took, from constantly worrying about sleep and struggling with sleep to abandoning sleep-related efforts and shifting attention away from sleep and more toward living life?

[@isxaxrealxgirl]

@@InsomniaCoach All told I would say it took about a month. About a week of trying to "power through it" without really addressing the anxiety, a week of spending way too much mental energy on sleep efforts and trying to adhere to a bedtime routine that was too strict, then finding your videos and realizing I was doing more harm by trying to DO anything. I played around with figuring out what actually helps me in a bedtime routine for another two weeks (the end result for me personally is just reading until sleepy). I still have a "bad" night here and there since there have been some disruptions in my schedule, but at this point I know it won't ruin my day and I'll just definitely be sleepy enough to fall asleep the next night.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@isxaxrealxgirl I love it - thanks for sharing! Would you be interested in coming onto the podcast as a guest and discussing your experience? I think your story would help a lot of people and I'd love to talk about your transformation some more!

[@MikeL0084]

Hi Martin- after years of dealing with insomnia on and off I am doing pretty well these days after implementing a lot of different techniques including CBT-I, but still continue to struggle with what is referred to as "special event insomnia", where if I have something significant going on the next day it throws me off and my anxiety builds up a bit before sleep. I feel like it is just something I can't shake as it has continued now long after I've recovered from my chronic insomnia. I have developed some general anxiety as I've gotten older and though I've never taken any medication for it ever, I'm curious if you think it's an ok idea just to take something on these "special" nights every so often. Thanks.

[@basiabarbara3365]

Hi, I recovered myself from insomnia, and I experience relapses - I think this is very normal, not only in insomnia but generally, so no worries at all :) But I also use some medications, and for me it was a real blessing. Even though I am natural medicine practitioner, I believe that medications have its place if they are used correctly. If you do all good to yourself regarding sleep and overall health, then sometimes it might helpful to take something extra. But definitely, not to take it if other things are out of the balance. This is my personal opinion. All the best:)

[@MikeL0084]

@@basiabarbara3365 Thanks. While I am open to the occasional pill, I just don't like the idea of it considering at one point in my life I slept fine almost all the time. I feel like I should be able to get back to that.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@MikeL0084 I think it can be helpful to recognize that difficult nights of sleep from time to time are normal and part of the human experience! There's not much we can do about them, nor do we need to!

[@pilarboutte392]

Hi Dr. Reed, It has been a year since we have had contact. I have had severe insomnia for years now and have had doctors/therapies too numerous to list here. Long story short: a menopause internist MD, did extensive blood work on me. It turns out I am living with undiagnosed hyperthyroidism. The other symptoms I experience were of importance in my doctor making her diagnosis. I know that many people have insomnia due to hyperarousal. But once in a while it can be due to an underlying health issue. I’m just happy I kept seeking answers to my problem. Thank you for your channel! Pilar

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing, Pilar! Have you been sleeping well since getting that diagnosis?

[@laceyjayfiedler]

I had my first bout of anxiety when my son was born when the nurse said to make sure I sleep when baby sleeps and of course people with anxiety like to be in control so one bad night turned into 6 months of crap trazadone and having a doctor saying we will figure this all out was comforting and helped. Now going on a girls trip and not sleeping for two nights triggered something in my brain that this was a threat and now the cycle continues. The hardest thing for me is laying in bed all night. It feels so lonely. I’m trying to just go with the flow and accept the way things are. Did you ever get those panic feelings while laying in bed all night unable to sleep. I’m not sure if I get up a bit those nights and read or just relax as best as I can accept it and enjoy laying in bed. At least their are people to talk to going through this. 11 years ago their was no podcasts or you tube videos it was a very lonely time

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@laceyjayfiedler Have you tried getting out of bed to do something a bit more pleasant when being in bed doesn't feel good? That might make the nights a bit more tolerable. Making sure you are allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep might also help reduce the amount of time available for nighttime wakefulness.

[@TruthisMarching]

​​@laceyjayfiedler You are so not alone. I panic a lot. I get zero sleep quite often, with 10 MG ambien. You are right, it is the loneliest feeling in the world. ❤

[@pilarboutte392]

Came back to say, couple years later, the many doctor diagnoses were never helpful. Nor was medication. It took several times coming around, but the sleep is growing, in fact, I'm confident it's here. I ignore the insomnia "problem" and I find I feel well even after a few hours of sleep. Heck- even 2 hours is fine. I think it odd I used to think I needed "8 hours". I can get all the sleep I need when I let it go❤ Thanks so much!

[@jamiekim6926]

Useful video thanks! I wanted to thank you for your videos generally. I've helped my terrible insomnia, using a CBT-I book, your videos helped massively too by answering important questions, that the book didn't cover. It's changed my life for the better, I'm very grateful, thanks again.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you so much for letting me know, Jamie! May I ask what book you found helpful and the important questions you feel it missed? You are the one who changed your life for the better, Jamie, because you implemented the techniques you learned - good on you!

[@jamiekim6926]

@@InsomniaCoach The book was Sink into Sleep, also the CBT-I coach app was helpful as it automates the diary for sleep restriction. The book covers the sleep restriction part well, but your stuff on mindset and how to think about sleep/insomnia (the cognitive part) was really helpful. I felt the book didn't emphasise this a lot. This side was important because at the 2-3 week phase I was finding it difficult, because it was hard, but I wasn't seeing great results yet. Also, I wasn't clear what was the best behaviour in the morning (I had the early wake insomnia). I was getting up immediately, which I thought was ideal, this made the sleep efficiency very high, but actually staying in bed a bit (but not excessively, still maintaining the out of bed time) made me a bit more rested, making things easier.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@jamiekim6926 Thanks for sharing, Jamie! I have a copy of that book on my shelf and will be reading through it before the summer is out!

[@Poke-Chann]

Do you still respond to comments? If so A.) are you ever going to upload more sleep snippets and B.) my problem is that my insomnia isn’t chronic, it’s acute and relapses happen multiple times now. I’m in one right now. I keep telling myself that I can’t control it and that I’ll live, but I find myself worrying about it anyways because I get very emotional and anxious when I don’t sleep well. What do I do if I fully understand on a logical level that it’s my anxiety keeping me up and that sleeplessness is okay, but my body is still anxious anyways? Do I just give myself time to accept it?

[@InsomniaCoach]

A: Yes - hopefully from 2024 :) B: Difficult nights from time to time are normal - just like difficult days from time to time. It's OK to worry and to experience difficult thoughts and feelings. They are natural and normal. What matters is how you respond - do you try to fight or avoid your thoughts and feelings (and get tangled up in a struggle) or do you acknowledge them, perhaps even thank your mind for looking out for you, and then continue to do things that matter?

[@jordanc1910]

I still struggle badly... probably the worse case on here. But I do look foward to a good recovery testimony. I average 2-4 hours a night now for a couple months now

[@InsomniaCoach]

I look forward to reading your recovery testimony, Jordan!

[@TruthisMarching]

You're not alone ❤

[@TruthisMarching]

@@jordanc1910 Did you recover through following this channel? I would love to hear what you did.

[@karlafryer4666]

Hi Martin, what would you recommend if while doing sleep restriction therapy you have to stay in a hotel - where there is only the bedroom?

[@InsomniaCoach]

Sleep restriction can still be done in a hotel room because that simply gives you an earliest possible bedtime and a consistent final out of bed time in the morning. If you're referring to stimulus control (the most common implementation is getting out of bed when sleep isn't happening) you might want to simply sit up in bed and do something like reading a book whenever lying in bed waiting for sleep to happen feels really unpleasant. Our goal with stimulus control is really just to eliminate sleep effort and make being in bed more pleasant.

[@annaswiatowska1800]

If I am in a hotel and cannot leave the room (perhaps could but would be a bit weird) I would sometimes just sit next to the bed to break association with bed as a source of my terror. It's more about the mindset than necessarily changing the room. Occasionally I will put a pillow where my legs were and change the position- sometimes does the trick too. If not, then I'm doing my best to be compassionate with myself because I'm 'failing ' at sleep. Getting out of bed also cools temperature which allows your body to fall asleep better. Good luck :)

[@PamelaCisnerosArtist]

Such great tips, Martin! So reassuring and made me laugh hysterically re: how differently former insomniacs can treat sleep than anything else in our lives! Great example/reminder. ❤️

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for letting me know you found this video reassuring, Pamela! I appreciate your comment.

[@cindy.s2244]

@ Pamela Cisneros his tips are great helped me get over sleeping pills rebound insomnia two years back !!! Now I’m back on this channel only cos my insomnia is back cos I was put on cortisteroids Fr 15 days it’s back probably the medication I was fine before that . I come and watch his videos to stay motivated . And hoping by gods grace my sleep will be back on track fingers crossed 🤞

[@PamelaCisnerosArtist]

@@cindy.s2244 Yes, life has a way of throwing us curveballs that may cause insomnia to return. but luckily we now know exactly what to do!

[@salumoyakenram6171]

love u

[@seanking6184]

I’ve had several months of really good sleep after an 8 month period of chronic insomnia… had a bad night last night and worried it’ll return. Here to remind myself that I can’t control sleep and shouldn’t worry!

[@last2first167]

How bad was your insomnia

[@seanking6184]

@@last2first167 3-4 hours of sleep average, considerable anxiety about it to the point or made me ill. Was never a great sleeper beforehand but that was as it’s worse. Before I would average 6 hours, 7 on a good day and felt fantastic… back to that now for the most part 👍

[@last2first167]

@@seanking6184 At least your getting some sleep if you believe your getting 4 to 3 hours of sleep. My insomnia was worst I would get no sleep for some nights not even one minute for two months. Now I'm doing better I might be getting 6 to 7 hours a day now but I still get a little anxious still before bed I drink chamomile tea everynight it works. FYI some comments about insomnia are saying they haven't slept for weeks to months there is something wrong with that beyond sleep and anxiety so don't let that scare you just saying.

[@last2first167]

@@seanking6184 how do you feel after you wake up is really important.

[@InsomniaCoach]

It's hard not to worry since that's a normal human emotion - and you're not a robot (or are you?!)! A more effective strategy might be making space for some worry - recognizing its presence, then redirecting attention where it matters rather than getting caught up in the worry!

[@fawkes.6820]

So i messed up sleep schedule because i use to stay up long and it causes me to wake up 4-5 hours early. So my plan is to sleep from 12midnight to 8am. I can go to sleep easily since it takes me 10-20mins to fall asleep. So usually i wake up around maybe 5am or 6am. I dont look at my clock or phone and my question is should i just relax and either fall asleep and wake up to 8am alarm or should I get out of bed?

[@InsomniaCoach]

If it feels good to be in bed before your alarm goes off, I don't think there's any need to jump out of bed!

[@patonyema2641]

Where have you been all this while

[@willofdodong4513]

May I ask? Is it possible to stay alert/awake while in a deep sleep? I read a book about that.

[@InsomniaCoach]

As far as I know, it's not possible to be awake during deep sleep (N3 sleep) - but it is possible to be awakened from N3 sleep.

[@jenniferlee9029]

Hi Martin. I was not able to sleep 5 minutes last night. What can i do, im on short-term disability and my days are long and dragged out without much to do throughout the day. Does inactivity during the day cause insomnia?

[@InsomniaCoach]

Inactivity doesn't cause insomnia but it can make sleep more of a focus and that, in turn, might set us up for more of a struggle. Any kind of activity, especially activity that's aligned with your values and interests, can be helpful - not necessarily as a way to get rid of insomnia, but as a way to keep you moving toward the life you want to live even in the presence of insomnia.

[@saggitarius8939]

Hi I've insomnia for 3mths pass and i was prescribed lorazepam n mirtazapine and after that i was having sleeping jerk and i normally taken mirtazapine then lorazepam as told by doctor.. May i know jerking is it part of the meds that i consume? Ive tried many tips n trick even massage chamomile tea name it nothing works.. Any advice? Thnks

[@InsomniaCoach]

That would be a question for your doctor. You might also find this video helpful: Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it) - kzbin.info/www/bejne/gXfPqZyOl76El8k

[@Alstruction]

I had a question about stimulus control. I was implementing it and it seemed to work on most occasions to get back to sleep. I was reading a book until i got tired, then went back to bed and it usually did the trick. For the last 4 nights or so stimulus control has suddenly stopped working and now I just can't get back to sleep. It feels like it has failed me and I am discouraged from getting out of bed and doing something due to the pressure I feel to do something enjoyable when at that time I don't want to have to do anything - I just want to sleep. Any tips Martin?

[@johnmonk3381]

I am pretty sure you are sleeping too much, resulting in trying to sleep with a weakened sleep drive! Spend less time in bed, forget about the 8 hour rule because 8 hours is way too much for a healthy individual. You sleep your best when you sleep less! This is the ironic and twisted universal truth about sleep.

[@Alstruction]

@@johnmonk3381 I am actually on a 7 hour sleep window so that is not the issue atm.

[@johnmonk3381]

@@Alstruction The healthy amount of sleep is actually 6-7 hours according www.nytimes.com/2002/02/15/us/study-ties-6-7-hours-of-sleep-to-longer-life.html . So if you consistently sleep 7 hours or try to sleep that much or make yourself sleep that much, you might have to give some of that oversleeping back, which your body will manifest in the form of wakefulness, difficulty sleeping, getting only light sleep or plenty of awakenings. I went all through this myself. When I was regularly doing 7-8.5 hours, my nights would progressively get worse and worse, kinda like what you are going through now and I would get more light sleep instead of deep plus waking up a lot. I also found there is nothing wrong with doing 2-3 hours sleep too, because I discovered in the past I was already doing 8,8.5 hours but my average would always stay the same of around 6-7 hours only. So now I only allow myself to sleep 6-6.5 hours, I slept more deeply and wake up feeling great and more energetic than if I had slept 7-8.5 hours, which would leave me terribly groggy, fatigued and basically hung over. Amount is really not important so for insomniacs, when will the lesson ever be learnt? You sleep your best when you are sleeping less!

[@InsomniaCoach]

The goal of stimulus control isn't to make you fall back to sleep because sleep cannot be controlled! Although that can happen, when it happens it's simply a bonus - not our intent! The intention of stimulus control is simply to give us a more appealing alternative to being in bed when being in bed feels really unpleasant. By getting out of bed, we also prevent ourselves from reinforcing a negative association between the bed and unpleasant wakefulness. So, if you are getting out of bed when being in bed doesn't feel good, the technique is "working"!

[@TheMegapenthes]

I am having a weird issue these days: I am dozing off while reading a book before going to sleep hence I am concluding that my sleep-drive has reached an optimal limit and it's time to go to bed, but when I am lying on bed and shutting my eyes, an alternate-world (the nightly horrifying world returns to haunt) and gradually the familiar feeling comes that it will be another night of sleeplessness, of anxiety and quick decisions (to wake up, again go back to bed, again get up, etc.) and it is driving me crazy. I'm so tired, my eyes are shutting and yet I am not mentally in the right state of mind to sleep (still tossing and turning). And the entire night is passing like that. The next night I am able to sleep well - 7 hours, etc. Because, probably the sleep-drive reaches the limit. But this not fitting right, to sleep alternate nights. Please suggest, what to during those miserable hours, when nothing seems to work: breathing exercises, mantra chanting, just simply shutting my eyes to atleast get some rest. I even decided to shut my eyes till the morning, as a some coping strategy but I become anxious and in the past it had not yielded any results - I remained on bed with shut eyes for 2-3 hours and yet couldn't pass into sleep. I have normally observed that when I have some unfinished business which remains insatiable like intellectual pursuits of reading a book and deriving the right kind of contentment, and I remained busy with other engagements during the day which weren't my topmost priority, then my sleep gets disrupted in the night and I also remorse that I could have probably got enough satisfaction so that it didn't get in the way of my night-sleep.

[@InsomniaCoach]

As you said, Sunay, it sure sounds like sleep drive is high when you go to bed - so, that's probably not the issue here! Often, we find it most difficult to fall asleep when we go to bed before we are sleepy and/or when we put effort into sleep or put pressure on ourselves to sleep. Since you mentioned that you've tried lots of things (such as breathing exercises and chanting) we might consider that there's a possibility you're putting effort into sleep - and this effort backfires because sleep cannot be controlled and doesn't respond well to effort. Sleep ALWAYS happens in the end (and that is the reason why you enjoy better nights after difficult nights). So, perhaps you might consider that you don't need to put any effort into sleep (or any pressure on yourself to make sleep happen) because sleep will happen anyway (and happens best when we remove ourselves from the process)?

[@TheMegapenthes]

@@InsomniaCoach Thank you.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@TheMegapenthes You're welcome!

[@janbertenshaw8597]

Hi Martin l wondered if you could do a video on an issue l have been having with trying to implement CBTI. For instance after following all the techniques to the letter for 8 weeks l'm still waking up in the early hours then experiencing performance anxiety because l'm not sleeping through to the end of my sleep window, even when being strict with stimulus control. Should you be sleeping through at this stage or is it just normal to wake up after deep sleep and eventually stimulus control will start to work and performance anxiety and watchfulness will decrease. Thanks Mike

[@InsomniaCoach]

Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep - if it's hard to fall back to sleep that means we either don't need more sleep, or arousal is too high for sleep to occur (we might, for example, start to put pressure on ourselves to fall back to sleep or put effort into falling back to sleep). If you consistently spend a lot of time awake, you might be allotting too much time for sleep. Otherwise, I'd suggest reminding yourself that waking during the night is normal, trying to avoid checking the time during the night, and getting out of bed if being in bed ever starts to feel unpleasant. I do hope to record a video about this in the near future.

[@sumitrajput2777]

❤❤❤

[@wednesdayschild3627]

I am having trouble again. I had a difficult sickness.

[@piyushverma8210]

Why is it happen i always cant sleep night before important day 😢 but meanwhile my other family members sleep very fine before a important day

[@noellewest4347]

Hello all- what is stimulus control? I heard him mention that with sleep restriction (which I already do now).

[@InsomniaCoach]

Here's a link to an overview: insomniacoach.com/stimulus-control-therapy/

[@noellewest4347]

@@InsomniaCoach Thank you! This has already begun to work for me.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@noellewest4347 Fantastic! Thanks for sharing!

[@lenathebarbarian9952]

Hi Martin! I was wondering if you could give me an advice on how to get used to a snoring spouse. My husband’s been always a snorer but for the last couple months it started to bother me all of a sudden. We live in a studio so sleeping in a different room is not an option but snoring is really disturbing my sleep :(

[@InsomniaCoach]

Well, I think in an ideal world it might be helpful to tackle the husband's snoring! You might have to put him in a straitjacket and cart him off to the doctor's office!

[@joshuaroberts4245]

Do you recommend using sleeping pills for those with insomnia?

[@InsomniaCoach]

I don't make medication recommendations one way or the other. A decision on that would probably best be made after a discussion with a doctor. What I can say is that sleeping pills aren't a recommended long-term treatment option for chronic insomnia, they come with side effects, and they don't get to the root cause of insomnia.

[@last2first167]

For people saying they havn't slept for months would't they have disabilitys already therefore can't function to type a comment on youtube. They could be light sleeping to a point it feels like they haven't slept. I feel comments like that makes people so nervous and have anxiety. I want to hear your take because without sleep you can't eat sleep and digestion work together.

[@InsomniaCoach]

It can be worth emphasizing that it's impossible not to sleep for months (I believe the world record is 11 days and that took immense effort by a "typical" sleeper). We might not be happy with the sleep we are getting, but the body will always generate - at the very least - the minimum amount of sleep we need, as long as we give ourselves the opportunity to sleep.

[@honeybunny7792]

Now why would they lie I have really severe insomnia for 6months now and no medication is helping also I don’t feel hunger

[@poojachhatwani]

Hello, I struggle with chronic insomnia on and off since 2018 but it was short lived earlier. This year in around March I started having chronic insomnia and sleep anxiety again to the point that I get acidity and nauseousness the next day which continued for months of sleepless nights. So I decided to consult a psychiatrist and he put me on anxiety meds since may which worked until last to last week. Strangely, since last week I wasn't able to sleep at all even on those meds. So he suggests I take a sleeping pill also if I don't fall asleep in 30 mins which obviously I don't want to take since I'm in early 20's. But this insomnia and anxiety makes me sickkkkk af. I've started with therapy also recently and will be moving to CBT. Any sort of help is appreciated.

[@poojachhatwani]

I'm helpless and hopeless now as I was in March-may. I get suicidal thoughts at times because of this.

[@poojachhatwani]

And my doctor and therapist says that GERD is a result of anxiety

[@melissahoughton4482]

Omg me too. I beat sleeping pills because of Martin. I'm having a bit of a flair up too.

[@melissahoughton4482]

@@poojachhatwani Don't give up. CBT-I helps. Did your sleep ever improve?

[@poojachhatwani]

@@melissahoughton4482 How? With the help of your doctor you tapered it off? Or you stopped taking it cold turkey yourself?

[@iamkakashi20]

i been geting 2 mounths of good sleep. latey now tho im geting good night sleep and bad night sleep. i,ll only get 4 hours of sleep. then the next day i,ll get 8 hours of sleep and next night again 4 hours. idk if its insomina. im trying to fix my sleep going bed night time. when i been geting good sleep again i been geting 8 hours but i been sleeping day time like i,ll go bed 6am and wake up 2pm. today i been trying to stay up 24 hours to fix my sleep. idk if this is insomina or just over tired. i had inomina in march and it went away in augest.

[@InsomniaCoach]

You might find this video helpful: How to stop the sleep roller coaster and make sleep more consistent and more predictable - kzbin.info/www/bejne/bmfUdZKJe7WXaJY

[@deelicious1610]

Temporary sleep disruption? It’s been 38 years!!

[@M9Diry]

I just had a 8 hour panic attack all night instead of sleeping

[@mariadanezis5333]

What if someone has adrenal disease It affects the circadian rhythm.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Hello! My videos aren't aimed at people experiencing sleep disruption caused by the presence of a disease or medical condition - rather, they are aimed at people with chronic insomnia (and chronic insomnia is perpetuated by all our efforts to get rid of it and to make sleep happen). It is, of course, possible for chronic insomnia to exist alongside other medical issues, too.

[@ob5393]

48 hours and a 14 hour shift ahead of me. My anxiety is amplified because I've done this before and I'd rather be punched in the face repeatedly by Mike Tyson.

[@InsomniaCoach]

There can be no denying that insomnia generates more difficult days, compared to when we sleep well. If only we could control sleep and how we felt. I hope things get better for you.

[@jordanc1910]

Zero sleep last two nights in row….. still wide awake

[@InsomniaCoach]

Sorry to hear that, Jordan.

[@user-wh3hr3oz6l]

Slept 9 hours after watching this

[@maliknasirhussain5575]

Can u help .

[@InsomniaCoach]

Feel free to contact me here: insomniacoach.com/contact/

[@wednesdayschild3627]

I think hormonal fluctuations cause this. I am trying not to be negative about menopause.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Hormonal fluctuations can definitely affect sleep. That doesn't mean we are destined to forever live with insomnia as soon as we enter menopause, though!

[@wednesdayschild3627]

@@InsomniaCoach agree. It comes and goes. I bet men get it too with hormones, but are not paying as much attention. I am being positive and avoiding negatively

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@wednesdayschild3627 I appreciate your engagement with the channel! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@Qaimkhani-]

0 dislikes ❤

[@Qaimkhani-]

@@InsomniaCoach can u give me advice i watch ur video but still cant sleep for 3 4 5 hours lying on bed

[@InsomniaCoach]

​@@Qaimkhani- Watching a video probably won't create good sleep - our behaviors are what set the stage for sleep! I'd suggest looking at this page on CBT-I techniques since they help create good conditions for sleep to occur: insomniacoach.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia/

[@tartanbabe3747]

10p short of a quid🤣

[@InsomniaCoach]

!

[@backwood2203]

I got Insonima had it for 4 months now can anyone share there experience on how they cure Insomnia

[@user-mp9lq3xv5b]

I also have severe insomnia, i can’t sleep at all, what about you ?

[@backwood2203]

@@user-mp9lq3xv5b same I use warm sleepy time tea and honey it kind of work I got like 4 hrs of sleep the 1st few months was the worst I couldn't sleep at all I'm still trying to cure it tho I think I got my Insonima from noise

[@user-mp9lq3xv5b]

@@backwood2203 do you feel shaking before falling asleep?

[@backwood2203]

@@user-mp9lq3xv5b naw but I do feel a weird head buzz sometimes and I have alot of dreams

[@backwood2203]

@@user-mp9lq3xv5b do you smoke?

[@OfficialGaming11_]

They say insomnia cause health issues this why I get scared more.

[@OfficialGaming11_]

@LastmanStanding-xo5pl thank you. I get a few good days of sleep then when I get one bad night can’t sleep tossing turning all the fear and worries come back. Then the next day I worry will I sleep tonight will I toss and turn list goes on.

[@OfficialGaming11_]

@LastmanStanding-xo5pl I understand what you’re saying. But I don’t know how to contorl sleep anxiety and over thinking worrying.

[@OfficialGaming11_]

@LastmanStanding-xo5pl how did you get rid of your sleep anxiety insomnia ?

[@OfficialGaming11_]

@LastmanStanding-xo5pl wow that’s so crazy you seem like a very strong mental minded person proud of you man keep going never stop. I go thru anxiety too sleep insomnia and anxiety I went 4 days with not even 1 minute sleep. When I close my eyes I say when will I sleep ? Sleep jerks, butterfly feeling in stomach. Googling about health and symptoms too much stress. Eveyeome says google is the worst thing to search about health.

[@OfficialGaming11_]

@LastmanStanding-xo5pllike last night I couldn’t sleep again today it made me more anxious

[@honeybunny7792]

I’m really struggling with insomnia for almost six months now I’m mentally exhausted someone help🙏🥹🥹I don’t know when I’ll finally get my sleep back in the past I used to sleep for more than 14hrs and would nap during the day. Can drugs like weed and codeine be the cause of my sleep deprivation ?

[@InsomniaCoach]

Drugs can influence sleep. When it comes to chronic insomnia, it's often kept alive by all the struggle we engage in as we try to make sleep happen, try to get rid of wakefulness, or try to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia.