What To Do When Your Partner Hurts Your Feelings (2 Steps) | Feeling Hurt In Your Relationship

[@emilyngo]

Thanks so much for watching! 🤗 Let me know in the comment what you want me to cover in my future videos ❤ Click here if you want to work with me -> www.fiverr.com/emilyloveadvice 💻

[@kcz-q4]

Really good video! Thank you for sharing

[@herstory4768]

Girl i have watched less than 10 seconds of this video, and i wanna tell you that you're amazing. Your smile lights up your face and it gives out positive energy.

[@emilyngo]

You are too nice! Thank you so much! Glad you enjoy the video :)

[@nigelthornberry1386]

I was feeling so hurt and fed up at my partner for the entire day based on something they said, but watching this really helped me think clearly about how to handle these emotions and how to properly communicate. Thank you!

[@cherylcc4035]

I have been feeling hurt and filled with anger all week with my spouse. Work is also piling up. but as i am emotionally unstable, i did not feel motivated to work. With the added stress of procrastination from work, i have been sleeping all day, and now i am here watching youtube. But the moment i watched your video up to step 1, the hurt and anger completely evaporated and i was able to forgive him. I’m so glad to have found this video. Thank you so much.

[@emilyngo]

Very glad to hear that from you, Cheryl!

[@nandhu4365]

Content starts at 3:10

[@megrzhutch]

Thank you. STEP 1 takes so much practice but it's really good to watch this and be reminded.

[@emilyngo]

Hi Megan :) I'm so glad you say that it requires practice because it actually does :D Till this day, I'm still working on step1 every day. It's like going to the gym every day to keep your body healthy and fit :D

[@bailey1493]

I’ve apparently listened to this in the past because I see the red line. But now I feel DEVASTATED. I hope this will help for that.. it changed my heart and I know I don’t want that but I can’t change how I feel now

[@pearli8181]

This probably applies to normal people. Narcissists relish people's pain.

[@gloriaeze9124]

Thank you. Could not sleep till I listened to you. I'll try to sleep now.

[@natashamotilall6283]

Thank you I was so hurt this help me to let him know that he didn’t mean to but he hurt me

[@vishnupriyakbharathi1594]

You are doing amazing… This is the best “2 step” advice in the entire universe!!! Thank you so much … ❤️pls keep doing what you are doing❤️❤️❤️

[@emilyngo]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[@tl8117]

You have a positive attitude and beautiful Aura! Hope this works out for couples who successfully try these suggestions and good luck! Unfortunately, my boyfriend just doesn't seem to understand anything except his feelings. When I try to calmly tell him about something that that I don't agree with, he gets very defensive, frustrated, and I am considering leaving this relationship, because no one should feel hesitant about coming to their partner about their feelings and being treated meanly.

[@emilyngo]

Sorry to hear about your situation. At the same time, I'm glad you love yourself, respect yourself, and have the courage to walk away from the relationship that doesn't serve you after you respectfully and calmingly talk to your boyfriend. It's awful to be afraid of speaking up in a relationship. And yes, no one should feel that way when sharing one's feelings with their significant other. Thank you for your kind words. I'm here to help so please feel free to let me know if you have any other questions :)

[@krzysztofofski4497]

I cry everyday because of one person , please help me immediately

[@Naomi-wm3uf]

Probably leave the person? I know it hard but if this person hurts you this much, it goes to far. Or talk to them about it without attacking them. Good luck!

[@Lady-ts3tr]

My boyfriend, when his female friend is with us, give all attencion and time to her, even touch her leg od arms im front of my eyes.

[@NazrulIslam-m2n3c]

*please do reply* I've been in a relationship for past 3 years and we are in a LDR. We have been trying to Understand each other. But my boyfriend and I both are sensitive. If I ever hurt him unintentionally, he gives me cold shoulder and whenever I want to talk about it..he doesn’t want to open up. He says he is scared, what if I say something that HE doesn’t want to hear at that moment. On the contrary, he expects me to "understand" his "situation" of talking rude to me. Whenever we have a fight, he never texts me first. Even if I put my anger aside and text him, he acts like It's ALL MY FAULT and I should be sorry. I couldn’t take the silent treatment.

[@gehadyasseralymaher7004]

Thankyou so much that was sooo helpful

[@erinmota1708]

My boyfriend hurts me every day & he literally doesn't care or ever acknowledge it.

[@emilyngo]

Hi Erin, my question for you is then why you are still in a relationship with a man who constantly hurts you. What are the fears and limiting beliefs that hold you back from changing your situation?

[@mashiyattt5417]

@@emilyngo I'm dealing with the same thing. He hurts me everyday and doesn't even acknowledge it. Maybe he hurts me unintentionally but he does! Every frickin day! And why I'm still with him? Idk, I love him so much and I'm so attached to him that I just can't let him go. I can't

[@emilyngo]

@@mashiyattt5417 Hi Mashiyattt, what is it about him that you love him so much and cannot let him go even though he hurt you every day?

[@ryanclark6988]

Sounds like my wife.

[@fireflies192]

Break up with him

[@prisantyaf7516]

I always thought positively about someone Until the people around me deceived me For example: I shared my embarassing stories to my BF at that time. Cause I trust him as he is my partner. Then I found out indirectly, He told that to my friends My friends betrayed me as well. Since she asked for help, I sympathize and agreed to help but then she "forces" that I should help her by her standard, not caring my condition. And many more. All of them then it makes me anxious and cautious to my new BF. It's hard for me to assume things well anymore but it's also tiring to always think bad about a person. I confronted my BF for the things he done, He shared that he didnt mean to harm me, like in your videos, but the promises that he made and then not fullfilling it causing my anxious increases. So I'm not sure anymore how to heal myself. Could you please share your advice?

[@bailey1493]

What about this- you see his ex wife for the first time after she yelled at you to get out of her face at their son’s wrestling match. So I shut down all day to stay out of their way. Found out way later she said hey - I did not hear her because I was in my head and nervous. So. When I talk to him about it he yells at me and we so sit broke up. But! He “loves” me. He cried… didn’t want to lose me. He’s tried to make it up to me… but I still feel empty and not the same at all

[@minervamariekirk1171]

My Boyfriend posted something mean about me on TikTok and it hurt my feelings so Bad and made me cry 🥺 😭💔

[@revecasamin9922]

this is so goooood 😩

[@ShlomoJesmerRelationshipCoach]

Hey, glad i found your channel, I love all channels to do with this topic, and you are great at communicating your message in camera.

[@emilyngo]

Thank you for your kind comment 😊

[@noname2763]

Thanks Emily. :). Following your videos helps to improve my listening skill.

[@emilyngo]

@@noname2763 Glad you have found them valuable 🤗

[@LouieGripz]

I’ve been so empty these pass few days 😔😔😔

[@emilyngo]

What happened to you, Luis?

[@anadelcastillo7101]

Best advice eveeer omg

[@cathywertz]

What do you do when talking to your Partner they don't apologize, but just say that you're being too sensitive??

[@178_monikaemaniakristienda8]

thank you so much

[@crystalseed.422.4]

wow yu have no idea how much this helped thank-yu

[@emilyngo]

You are most welcome! Very glad to hear! :)

[@crystalseed.422.4]

@@emilyngo ❤️❤️❤️

[@norainaintik91]

Thank you so much for this advice

[@magdalenabak6580]

question: What to do if partner knows what's hurting me bacause it's repeting over and over again but he doesn't care what's triggering my emotion? He's like 'your pain is your problem, i want to speak everything what I want' :(

[@emilyngo]

If your man knows what's hurting you but makes no effort in changing his behavior to help you feel better and support you, then it is up to you to make the hard decision. He even said that it is your problem. Lady, even you realized and said that he doesn't care about your feelings, then my question is why do you still want to be with someone that doesn't care about how you feel and your problems. Note though, when he said it is your problem, was he angry? Because he might feel hurt, and therefore, said hurtful things to you without really mean it. Don't take what he says word to word, look at the context as well. However, if he really means what he told you and continues hurting you then it is you who need to make the tough decision. You can't change him but you can change your situation by leaving him. Your happiness depends on your decision, not on your partner who doesn't care about you. You have total power and control over your life, lady. :)

[@ngocanh7524]

He hurts me so bad. He wants me to block him.

[@carolinecaroline7077]

Thank you for these wise words

[@carolinecaroline7077]

You have really helped me in my relation with my boyfriend

[@pharmclare]

Nice one. Thanks for sharing

[@bsunshine9915]

Thank you! This really changed my perspective.

[@emilyngo]

You are so welcome! Glad you enjoyed the video. :)

[@richapandey3322]

M glad I watched this , your video is gold🌸 thanks a ton

[@emilyngo]

Glad you find it helpful, Richa! :)

[@mizzprezli]

No they can't possibly know everything that triggers any/all negative emotions which are always changing so that we don't even know what might trigger our own emotions but when they continue to twist the knife until your a sobbing mess on the floor gives me the feeling that they are indeed doing it purposely to hurt you because they can see you are hurting & if they were a better person, they would stop twisting the fucking knife. Hello?

[@BayabasChannel]

Thank you for this useful advice!

[@emilyngo]

Glad you enjoy it, Emil :)

[@trixiexiang]

Great intro thank you I support your youtube efforts. I feel like telling you I genuinely want you to succeed and be happy with your endeavors in life. Your efforts to make this video has helped my heart. I sometimes feel like strangers wouldnt care about another stranger. (They just care about how much money they made not the quality of what theyre doing. Gratitude for the energy and heart you clearly have to do this and the heart you put into this. I feel moreso now the truth is there really exist women like you who geninuely do something because they would care about a stranger like me and want them to succeed.

[@emilyngo]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Trixie. I'm so glad to know this video has helped your heart. It is one of the best feelings to know my videos do bring value to people's lives like yours. Thank you for your kind comment again 🤗❤

[@paulineabas213]

Yes yes

[@Mk_7777]

People that hurt you clearly know what they are doing

[@samboriboun2213]

I just leave,im not going to stay if hes going to swear at me life is too short i tell him straight but he ignores,its pretty simple dont swear at me.People arent stupid they know exactly what they are doing.

[@smf427]

@sam… one of my pet peeves. If he can do it when he’s at work or talking to elders in his family, he could do the same thing for me. I don’t like swearing when we’re having a discussion

[@mariejae]

He's abusive. They know what they're doing and know they can keep getting away with it if you stay. Abusive men think their reasons are justified due to entitlement.

[@umusafanahjalloh3950]

You are perfect

[@emilyngo]

Thank you for your kind comment. We are all imperfectly perfect human beings 🤗❤

[@annanuss2041]

she is way too close to the camera but I like what she has to say!

[@tiacathcart4603]

Thank you so much, this really helped!! :)

[@emilyngo]

I'm so glad, Tia! And you are very welcome! :) If you have any questions about relationships, I'm here to help :)

[@yungcashregister8587]

Ok, so my boyfriend sometimes says mean things to me and I’m now just learning how to go about telling him how I feel when he says these hurtful things. I’m just worried that he will keep saying these things even after he says sorry, he has a bad memory sometimes and I feel like he could fall into old habits of saying mean things-how should I go about this?

[@emilyngo]

A new habit will take time to be formed so what you worry about is legit. Yes, I can see he may make the same mistake and accidentally say hurtful things to you in the future. However, what difference is that he is improving himself for you and the relationship. He is not perfect and he will make mistakes. But you can help him in his journey of forming a new habit to not say mean things to you. Know when are the triggers that he is going to say hurtful things to you, let him know in advance that "I know you may say not so nice things to me so I would like to let you know in advance and please be conscious with your words and what you are gonna say to me." You can help him break the pattern of his bad old habit. Look at it as teamwork. You can remind him, encourage him, forgive him and give him another chance as long as you see he put in the work and effort :)

[@noahmason3061]

My partner keeps making mistakes and upsetting me, but I know they don't mean to. They struggle to put themself in other people's shoes due to their autism, but once I point out what they've done wrong, I can tell they are actually sorry. So I don't know what to do

[@emilyngo]

Deah Noah, thank you for sharing. Do you think your expectations for your partner with their condition are realistic in the relationship? And Why? :)

[@jzlz2806]

Thanks you are fun and pretty 🛍nam myoho renge kyo🛍

[@KristenFuller-gx8sf]

yesterday I was at a theme park with with my boyfriend. Than I try to pay something my card declined . He got mad and saying he don't trust my card. Saying I don't wanna be here anymore all cuz of my card wouldn't work for some reason on somethings. So he just wanted to go home I only made on 3 rides. me and arugued for the last 1h wasted my trip time and said i wanted to go on more ride but he wouldn't let me cuz he was so angry. He made me cry at my fav happy place. I its hard to enjoy and have fun. I don't think he has fun as much as i do. He's always getting depressed or mad sometimes. wondering if theres therpist out there for people like my boyfriend. idk what to do anymore. He don't trust my card he has trust issuis

[@LiLxWEiRD0x]

wow this was incredible thank you so much for this emily :)

[@emilyngo]

Glad you find it helpful, Richard! :)

[@ravenmerluza4245]

Thankyou:(

[@happygirllll2222]

Your voice is so sweet. Your video is very useful❤️

[@killswitch8784]

I swear I never wanted to hurt her

[@jamesmitchelsalazar7474]

hi i'm new to your channel I did find you from the comments and your point of view of fighting for someone is I do agree with you it must be two of you and not only you. by the way I want to express how beautiful you are :) ill watch your videos coz this is what I need. I'm struggling to get over my ex. I did everything to chase her beg for her and nothing happens. it seems I'm the only one who in love. :(

[@emilyngo]

Hi James, thank you for your comment and for sharing your story. Breakup is never easy. And I have so much compassion for what you are experiencing right now. At the same time, I strongly believe you will overcome this hard time with lots of grace and wisdom, too. Sometimes, we forget our ability to overcome literally anything in life. You had a lot of great memories with your ex which is why it's difficult to move on from her. However, with time, knowledge, and the right support, you can heal from the breakup and start a new chapter of your life. Your love life is not over. In the future, you will meet a new partner who loves you the way you are, who appreciates you, and who doesn't reject you. I take a note here and will make a future video soon for you about how to get over an ex. If you have any further questions, please feel free to let me know in the comment section. :)

[@andireyes8282]

My boyfriend say bad things to me when he’s mad. I told him that he should not say those things to me and he always say sorry. But when he’s not in the mood or he’s mad e talks to me without respect again. What should I do?

[@emilyngo]

Hi Andi, sorry you are going through this. Such a great question, though. Yes, when we get angry, we can say things that could be hurtful to our partners. As much as we understand this is the reaction only when he gets mad, it is not his excuse to be disrespectful to you. In your case, I have two pieces of advice. First, I would suggest you work on how you tell your boyfriend how his words affect you. Instead of telling him "you shouldn't" (clearly, we know he shouldn't), linking more of your feelings and emotions when you hear him say disrespectful words. For example, tell him, "I feel so hurt and humiliated. I feel disrespected when you say these words. I feel like you don't love me..." instead of telling him, "you shouldn't say these words to me." The more feeling you link to your statement, the better it is. Because we are more likely to make a change when we know how we have hurt our partners, letting him know how you truly feel can raise his commitment to changing for you and the relationship. My second piece of advice is when you start to see him get mad, let him know, "I know you are angry, and I want to remind you to please not be disrespectful to me." You break his bad habit by stop it right before it is going to happen. Continue to do this for a while and he will start to learn and adopt the new habit of not saying disrespectful things to you. Hope this helps :)

[@Cook_with_sukh16]

@@emilyngo yes mam really it's very helpful thanku so much ❤️🙏

[@emilyngo]

@@Cook_with_sukh16 You are so welcome! Is there anything else I can help you?

[@giggles6034]

@@emilyngo thankyou ❣ This advice is Going to work for me too

[@emilyngo]

@@giggles6034 very glad you find it helpful, Priya :) Please feel free to let me know what else I can help you with your relationship :)

[@shreyabajaj]

He keeps repeating patterns and mistakes

[@winnieunfamous8711]

You look so cute and your voice ❤️👌

[@emilyngo]

Thank you for your sweet comment :D

[@lalvlog2362]

Love you

[@freddiedallas3706]

hi my name is Freddy and I was calling about my girlfriend Maria she has hurt my feelings very badly and now she's trying to make up make up to all of my family members that are here with me and she's saying that she didn't care about my sister and she won't want sister to go to hell and all this stuff and I can't turn my background of my family I love my family to death they're all my family and sometimes it make me mad about this still my family and this girl is keep texting her tell my sister to go to hell and all the stuff and it's it's hurting my feelings and she said pretty mean things about me but she put restraining order against me and now she's saying that she wants to have me back as her as her boyfriend and you know I don't know what to do about this whole situation and I'm very upset I don't know what to do a little more I turned that I told her that I was still myself because of her in a very upset about emotional so please give me a call me back and let me know what to do about this I still have feelings for her but I'm not in love with her anymore I still have feelings for her I don't know what to do but her name is Maria luque doing this s*** to me in the hospital and she needs to come and talk to me apologize let me get this message please send me an email or text me back or whatever you can do for me to help me thank you how was your day bye

[@leenanegi429]

My bf cheated on me today and I’m numb

[@emilyngo]

How are you doing, Leena? I just saw your comment. Sending you love, strength, and courage :)

[@shanborlamurong643]

You are so byand gorgeous 🔥🔥

[@MirroCosmoKenisis]

Emily your beautiful girl!

[@racilleashley9506]

I disagree with you.

[@jyoti5983]

Wow

[@itsmeaustindsouza]

I'm sure she is single😂

[@anitabasumallick9368]

Couldn't help watching her :p

[@emilyngo]

Thank you, Anita :)

[@theheat4346]

What about when they do try to hurt you just to make you feel bad because you don’t agree with them

[@emilyngo]

That's a great topic for me to cover in my future video. My quick answer here is to let them know that you FEEL LIKE (*this is important, don't accuse them of doing so, but rather tell them that you just feel like so you give them a chance to explain themselves*) they are making you feel bad about something you disagree with. Reassure them that your disagreement about something doesn't mean you disapprove of them. It's simply just another way of looking at things. Your partner most likely takes it personally when you disagree with them. Their behavior of trying to hurt or making you feel bad consistently could turn into emotional abuse and dysfunction in your relationship. It's important to ask them to respect the difference by telling them that it is okay to disagree on certain topics and reassure them that the way you view them and your love for them would not change just because of the differences. In other cases, maybe your partner strongly believes in something because it relates to their values. When you disagree with their belief, then they feel like you also disagree with their values and who they are. I would need some more context to best help you and your partner. Thank you for a great question again :)

[@crystalseed.422.4]

💗💗💗💗

[@joveeviernes673]

cute

[@racilleashley9506]

Sorry I REALLY DISAGREE with YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@killswitch8784]

Pls help me

[@pamhankes900]

How about giving advice on when to stop making excuses for your boyfriend’s shortcomings and to trust your feelings about the situation before you get hurt, badly? Your croaky and timid voice makes you seem subservient as you explain all the ways we are wrong to trust our gut feelings because fact is that some guys do things out of carelessness and disrespect that we should protect ourselves from and not open ourselves up to. Things like accepting hurt repeatedly. If your’re with a guy and he just doesn’t get it then say goodbye until he can grow up some.and save yourself some headaches and find a guy who actually gets it.