What to Tell Friends and Family? - Living With Cancer

Are you wondering if you should let other people know about your breast cancer diagnosis or what is the best way to do so? Are you worried about your privacy? How people will react? In this video, Dr. Jennifer Griggs explains things to think about as you get ready to tell people about your diagnosis.
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[@EC-yd9yv]

I haven't told anyone...i already have chronic illness and pain, not well managed.. been homebound for a decade+ Yes when my illness left me unable to care for everyone else, (i felt so guilty) .Well they were pretty good first cpl years, It was clear that theiy biggest concern was, How my illness affect them. Adult children and husband...im my own cheer leader, and still theirs. But yeah im forgot ten. Friends send a few words a year. So in light of how they've felt sorry gor themselves to this day, no matter how i made effort to put my best forward for them thru my worst of times.. There's No Way I can see telling them. They'll probably abandon me all the more. I have zero energy to deal with that. I won't be doing treatment either. Self care as best I can . 💜 I appreciate your videos v much, your calm, peaceful and gentle demeanor is a blessing. ❤️🙏 Blessings to all....❤

[@yerbba]

It's incredibly tough to feel isolated, especially when dealing with a new diagnosis on top of existing challenges. You are not alone. Women do a lot of what has been called "kinkeeping," where we are in charge of everyone's well-being. People can forget that we need care as well. Choosing how and when to share your health status is a personal decision, and focusing on self-care is important. We're glad that our videos bring you some comfort.

[@EC-yd9yv]

@@yerbba 💗🕊️

[@gabbykitty5318]

I"m in that super scary spot of waiting for the testing to rule breast cancer in or out. That testing is tomorrow. I've watched a few of these videos and find them very comforting.

[@yerbba]

Thank you for writing, and we hope you're doing okay.

[@dcfc12]

You are such a comfort to me at this time, thank you so much. I'm stage 1 post surgery & radiation therapy. I thought I was handling it well but now that the radiation has stopped and I'm due to start tamoxifen next week, I am having acute waves of anxiety regarding reoccurrence. My cancer was oestrogen & progesterone + Her2 - , clear margins and no spread to vascular or lymph nodes. Oncotype of 10. Definitely going to go to counselling as I haven't cried once since being diagnosed early June. All I can think of is my little boy who's 9.

[@yerbba]

Thank you for sharing your story. It's so common to feel like the bottom has fallen out once the busy times of treatment are behind you. It's like you go from having a to-do list to feeling so vulnerable. If it helps to know this, tamoxifen is a really important part of your treatment, so you are definitely doing something to improve your outcome. Finding a group of people in your situation may be really helpful. Same with individual counseling. Your little boy will help you as your body heals from everything it's been through. Sending good thoughts your way.

[@dcfc12]

@@yerbba thank you so much. With my particular histopathology report and cancer type tamoxifen will only decrease my risk of reoccurrence by 3% so I am going to continue to eat as much cruciferous veg, turmeric, black pepper and cut out all inflammatory food and drink. There is a 3% chance of getting severe side effects such as blood clots, uterine cancer & cataracts and after agonising over and throughly researching this very important decision, I am going to make a personal decision to decline synthetic hormone treatment and get regular screening. The NHS calculator 'predict' was very helpful and greatly influenced my decision as well as speaking with several other stage 1 breast cancer thrivers 🥰 I finally feel at peace for the 1st time since my diagnosis in June 🙏💕

[@luticia]

@@dcfc12May I ask you if you‘ve taken tamoxifen or not? How are you doing now?

[@karenalexander1579]

I agree with the need to know basis. That's what I have been practicing and have been working well so far 😊

[@yerbba]

Thank you for sharing!

[@gingerjoy5836]

This was excellent, thank you🙌🏼💗

[@yerbba]

You're so welcome

[@deschelbutler4859]

Thank you for this post.

[@yerbba]

Thank you for watching

[@sashneeindurjeeth5203]

Thank you for this video, I was just diagnosed and your video is so helpful.

[@yerbba]

Thank you for watching, we are rooting for you!

[@oumali06]

Thank you so much doctor I am on chemotherapy treatment now for bteast cancer and I need to hear all what you thank you again, God bless

[@yerbba]

Glad to hear the video helped!

[@princeahmed5795]

You really help me with informative video.

[@yerbba]

We are happy you found our video helpful!

[@dulcepinili998]

I love all your videos.

[@yerbba]

Thank you! Very much appreciated !

[@jumjumjumuk]

Thank you so much 😊 xxx

[@yerbba]

Always a pleasure to help.

[@ColorWhims]

I had a friend who had breast cancer and she’s still struggling to recover after 1 year. She’s still in a walker and going to Pt and Ot. She gives me her beanie cap and she wanted me to have it in case in case I lose my hair after chemo therapy! Long story short, no chemo, no radiation and I’m only taking aromatase inhibitors (anastrozole with mild side effects). I couldn’t believe it. She gave me her beanie cap and I thanked her but declined her offer. I’m 7 weeks post op and I’m back exercising and I have my weekly physical therapy. I met up with her for coffee recently and she doesn’t look good. She claims she is 1 year cancer free, but she doesn’t look good at all.

[@yerbba]

It's definitely the case that everyone has their own experience, isn't it. It's clear you care for your friend and are worried about her. Thank you for coming here to share your story.

[@alexandramuradas4619]

Mil gracias. Thank you so much.

[@yerbba]

You are very welcome

[@luticia]

I told only one neighbor of mine. She knows me over 35 years. As her response, she sent me a stone with hand written „Good luck!“ That‘s it. She has never talked to me again.

[@yerbba]

It must have been really hurtful to receive such a minimal response from someone you’ve known for so long. Dealing with cancer can be very isolating, and it’s hard when people don’t respond the way you need them to. We hope you have found support elsewhere and know that you’re not alone in this journey. You may find our video on ghosting to be helpful.

[@pattymendiola4318]

Thank you Doctor .. you all right this is time for us and stop taking care of every body like if nothing is happening 😞

[@yerbba]

Thanks for watching and writing. Sounds like a hard lesson learned.

[@XX2020XX]

I told my mum I have an aggressive breast cancer. Her response was “I hope you’ve learnt a lesson from this”. Next day she told me how disfigured her friend is after surgery. That wasn’t really helpful.

[@yerbba]

We're truly sorry to hear about your experience. It's important to receive support and understanding during such challenging times. We're here for you and sending you our best wishes. It is likely that your mother is highly unskilled at expressing her own needs for reassurance.

[@user-gq5cn6wv9l]

I am so sorry for you. How insensitive from your mother. I hope you have good friends who are with you during your journey. Love and hugs!

[@juaquiene7726]

When people, who should know or do better. Say such cruel and devastating things. As did your mother. We have to put on their shoes. See it from their perspective. There is so much fear & dread. Many of us have memories of what it was like to run into someone. They might not have seen for awhile. Now with end stage cancer. I recall running into my son's beloved elementary school teacher. She recognized me right away. It took me a moment to recognize her. I tried so hard to keep the look of shock, horror and then pity off of my face. The moment was just a few seconds. I knew instantly she read my feelings. Though this happened quite a few years ago. I hate how I reacted. Ashamed I caused this dear woman pain. If I had known in advance that she had such a serious cancer. I could have approached her with calm and compassion. Kept that awful look off my face. It wasn't her appearance that was so awful but my own. 😢💔🙏🙏

[@rogano2668]

Amazing words.. Thank u so much, im start to ungergo on chemotherapy this month. YES... I DO TO NOT TALKING OTHER PEOPLE, IF SOMEBODY ASK ME WHAT HAPPEN, THEN I TELL... REALLY I CANT TALK MORE ABOUT MYSELF NOW. ESPECIALLY IM ALONE IM OFW HERE IN KUWAIT.. ONLY MY EMPLOYER AD BOTH FAMILY WITH ME ALL THE TIME,, IM SO THANKFUL THAT I HAVE A GREAT EMPLOYER.. MY EMPLOYER SHOULDER ALL AND THE THE BEST FOR MY TREATMENT, THANKS God

[@yerbba]

We hope you're doing well. I'm happy that your employer is so supportive.

[@princessofjannah8222]

Hello kabayan! kumusta na po kau ngayon? myron din ako breast cancer stage 2 at isa din akong ofw na katulad mo, ano pong stage sa inyo baka pwede po makahingo advice sau..anong surgery po yun sau, mastectomy ba? nasa step pa lng ako na magppa chemotheraphy

[@suzannebazeghi5698]

Hi thanks a lot for your incredeble vidios i had mastactomy 2 monthes a go and stage 2 but they didnot do chimo and radiation just hormon therapy i know its hard time but even doctores dont know your emotion and problems but you understand most of my thing and its so help full i wish all oncologist were like you and could guide thier pationt .stay safe,

[@yerbba]

Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. We are happy we are able to provide helpful information for you, and at the same time, we wish you were happier with the level of support you are getting. Keep watching! We are rooting for you.

[@brandonallen4873]

You should definitely tell your family

[@yerbba]

Thanks for sharing your perspective. Deciding when and how to share a cancer diagnosis with family can be deeply personal and sometimes challenging. It's often beneficial to have the support of loved ones as you navigate your treatment and recovery, but it's important to do so in a way that feels right for you. Each family dynamic is different, and sharing your diagnosis can help build a network of support and understanding around you.

[@bobbipetty7411]

I've told my family and a couple friends. I fell very detached right now. I've had my lumpectomy and next is chemo and/or radiation. I don't have any daughters so I'm not worried about that. Its a long journey.

[@yerbba]

It's completely natural to feel detached and overwhelmed when facing a cancer diagnosis and the upcoming treatments like chemo and radiation. This journey can be emotionally and physically demanding. Remember, even without daughters, your health and well-being matter immensely. If people have an inherited mutation that is responsible for their breast cancer, their sons are at the same level of risk of having inherited such a gene. Your medical team is there to provide the best care and support throughout this journey. We're here as well, offering our support and a listening ear whenever you need it.

[@mandeepnarang5086]

Can l remove my chemoport after complete treatment. Please answer. I beg for reply🙏

[@yerbba]

There are very few people who need to keep their port. The standard advice is to have the port removed. I hope this is helpful.

[@lucysmithers357]

Wonderful video.. I was diagnosed with invasive lobular cancer two weeks ago.. having surgery and radiation treatments soon.. im getting all kinds of reactions.. you're ok , Ong im sorry , are you sure , why are you having a lumpectomy instead of a total masectomy.. im 71 years old..

[@yerbba]

Thanks for the feedback. People are just so unskilled at knowing what to say. You ought to feel free to ask for what you need from people. You'd be helping them out. If that is not possible or if they won't listen, consider taking a vacation from those folks.

[@alexiasherman3358]

Lucy Smithers About month ago, I too was diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma. Surgeon wants one more biopsy of calcification area so no surprises during surgery. Radiation treatments after surgery too. What caught my attention in your post is your age. I'm almost 73 years old, a widow and live with my three pets and very independent. I'm in good health other than the cancer, however I worry sometimes if I'll have the strength for radiation. I don't see too many posts or role models for older people with breast cancer. I hope you're doing well and I'm sending good healing energy your way.

[@EC-yd9yv]

@@alexiasherman3358 I hope this finds you well 🌺🙏✨

[@coreydann6629]

I had ultrasound mammogram MRI CT scan all came back normal but I want biopsy doctor won't do it because they can't see it on the scan

[@yerbba]

It sounds as if you have felt something in your breast and that nothing has shown an abnormality. If this is the case, please talk this over with your medical team. You may also wish to have a second opinion. Without knowing what you're noticing and being able to examine you, it is hard for me to make other suggestions. Wishing you all the best.

[@shathaomar1516]

Or some people told me "do not worry. This disease it treatable. You will live. Its not that complicated as before". Hummm seriously! do we really concern about death or life only here! We all are going to die. Can't they really understand the worries, the pain and suffer that cancer patients go through whether the treatment was successful or failing ones. All types of treatment are painful😢 The worries about the change in the body, the work energy that will be lost, the money ...etc After my surgery, someone told me : ah do you know how many women go through the c- sections during giving birth? This is similar. The cut is deep and all women do it these days. 😮. In fact he tried to convince me that c section is more complicated than double mastectomy and axillary clearance surgery. I just kept quite and never argued with anyone. At the end, I will be home suffering alone no matter what others would say. Positive or negative. God only who will be with me. و الحمدالله على كل شي

[@noone.s202]

what if that person doesnt believe that i have cancer???

[@yerbba]

It can be really hard not to be believed when you are going through something stressful like breast cancer and its treatment.

[@sallyhoffberg8224]

You don’t tell anybody

[@yerbba]

If you don't want to tell anybody about your breast cancer that is absolutely your personal decision. You can be confident that you are not alone., you are in control of your path.