What was it like to leave Evangelical Christianity as a married couple?

[@GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic]

0:50 Our Christian background 5:21 When we started doubting 9:08 Drew tells Taylor about his doubts 14:02 Double standards on “spiritual leadership” 18:34 Telling Drew’s family 21:47 Starting the channel 25:08 Taylor deconstructing her faith 31:27 Telling family and friends 33:50 How did this affect our relationship?

[@Digitalhunny]

Maybe, y'all should tell your parents the truth? That you journey to becoming Atheists _started_ with _their_ MLM scheming? How do you think _that_ would go over, eh?!😂😂😂 You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing.😘💕

[@ALone-wc2oh]

May your days be Blessed. You have everything you need, all that's left to do is pay it forward to others who need. 🐦

[@ezimm1829]

I'm an atheist who is dating an agnostic Muslim. She follows Islam enough that she doesn't eat pig meat and celebrates Eid (but doesn't fast for Ramadan), but really besides that you wouldn't know she is Muslim. We respect each other and our beliefs and appreciate each other regardless of this, but one time we ended up talking about death and afterlife. I believe there is nothing, while she believes there is something, but she doesn't know what. But she also said that she used to believe in Allah, but now she doesn't and is more spiritual--she believes there is some greater power or presence but not Allah as the Quran portrays him. It made me realize that if she begins deconstructing more than she already has, I will likely be her main support, as both her boyfriend and less importantly an atheist. I've thought about this some, but I was never religious and I've never known anyone who has deconstructed, so I don't entirely know what to do. I don't think she is going to start deconstructing tomorrow or anything, but if that day ever comes, I want to be able to tell her my beliefs, why I believe them, and where they came from, and give her advice, but most importantly not say too much and have her feel like I'm pressuring her, and I don't know if there's anything important I should know.

[@joeygreathouse3029]

Doubting empathy? Why? Who hurt you?

[@joeygreathouse3029]

@@Digitalhunny none of this is Christian at all

[@amygrowls]

This is so refreshing. My husband and I have been married 23 years and have raised 4 sons in the church. He comes from a VERY deeply evangelical fundamentalist family and he came out to me as an unbeliever right after the pandemic hit. I was very upset and lost at first because how will this look to our kids? How am I supposed to spiritually lead teenage boys on my own? I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was on my way out of the church as well. Amazingly our marriage and our relationship with our sons are so much healthier and we are all so much closer. Kids respect honesty in their parents and living this Christian life that was just going thru the motions was total bullshit. They saw right thru it. While we are still struggling with our relationships with our parents and their refusal to accept that we are now atheists, i feel like we can love our kids and each other far more meaningfully than we ever could as Christians. I wish we had been true to ourselves 20 years ago….but we have today! We have TODAY.

[@letahamilton]

Wow. Thank you very sharing. Appreciate your story.

[@the-nick-of-time]

"We have today" is a great approach to life.

[@NOMAD-qp3dd]

I'm happy for you and your whole family. You've done the right thing as far as i'm concerned, and I hope to have a similar outcome. my spouse is religious but I'm 'deconverted' and i was even raised in the church from a much earlier age than her, much more fundamentalist, stricter, meaner, much more hell fire and brimstoney than the churches she was raised in. But now i don't believe in any supernatural things whatsoever and i'd even say i am anti-religious when asked by curious people. it's funny how it was never an issue for the first 6 years of our marriage, we virtually never argued about anything at all but once we started makin a couple humans she takes them to church, i'm biting my tongue because in one way it doesn't feel worth the fight but...ugh... it's just messy. I never would have predicted this conflict so i do warn those who want to marry: You ought to be on the same page in that zone or it will come back to bite you. To me, taking children to churches is brain washing, cruel even, to teach children to believe these absurd ancient stories and here we are in the year 2022... It makes me sad but it's good to hear stories like yours it's uplifting that people can and do change, and have the realization that religion is... terrible!

[@Justas399]

Do you realize that there is no good reasons to think atheism is true? No facts for it and it must go against reality?

[@letahamilton]

@@Justas399 just really disagree with you there. It’s an experiential thing & you denying my experience is not cool. I respect your right to believe as you do, but a blanket statement about anyone who doesn’t believe in a higher power is uncool. Nuance exists & we are have incredibly complex brains, plus infinitely varied human experiences.

[@blackmore4]

As a European, it's always amazing to hear about how difficult it is to "come out" as non-religious in the US. I often wonder how a nation so rich in culture and revolutionary forward thinking is almost pre-Enlightenment in its attitude to religion. Then again, we have to take into account that the modern United States was started by a bunch of religious extremists who thought that England wasn't sufficiently pious... in 1620!!

[@laundryweather]

I think "coming out" is mostly part of the atheist/areligious experience for people from strict religious backgrounds. I don't come from a religious background and I've been open about not believing in god my whole life (which has mostly been in the US) and I've never been shamed for it. The intolerance is mostly by religious people, within tight knit religious communities that are not the majority of the country.

[@DianaCHewitt]

It depends heavily on where in the US you're from and the cultural background of your family, friends, and community. Metropolitan areas tend to be much more apathetic about religion.

[@jhonklan3794]

I mean the founders were staunch secularists/atheists. Its why America was largely aristocratic at the start; to prevent the common man's authoritarian/religious impulses from infecting the state. Also, a lot of the IS irreligious, at least a quarter, but there is still a social stigma against irreligiously.

[@historiansayori2089]

@@jhonklan3794 The only clarification I would had here is that the American founders didn’t want democracy at all (the Electoral College actively takes the Presidency out of the hands of popular vote and Senators used to be appointed; Senators being elected popularly took a Constitutional Amendment to fix), especially when slavers wanted to keep African-Americans down. The people were by no means saints or anything, but they weren’t the ones imposing authoritarianism without input from the elites. Asides from that, I largely agree

[@SuperEdge67]

Yep I’m from Australia, and no one really cares whether you believe in god or not.

[@johnhargreaves4010]

Just wanted to say I really appreciated this video I’m 17 and am homeschooled in a very strongly evangelical family Since I started dating an atheist a year ago I’ve been questioning my faith and found it quite challenging emotionally to balance my feelings for her with my religious beliefs Videos like this give me hope that no matter what conclusions I come to with my faith, we can make it work with love + respect

[@thearachnid7779]

Are you born again?

[@lorib4516]

@@thearachnid7779 WTF!

[@Dananlol]

@@thearachnid7779 bro îs mentally insane

[@oliviadawn9002]

Evangelical homeschooler here! I have a decent idea of what you’re feeling right now… I am an agnostic now, and it started with my husband exposing me to logical arguments against God’s existence. It’s scary, I know. To question your reality and entire upbringing. Just know, you’re not alone, and you’re awesome for setting out on this quest for truth!

[@EyeLean5280]

Take your time, there's no rush to find life's answers right now. Be respectful and loving and let things unfold for you as they will.

[@ohhello937]

I was raised with nothing besides "be kind to others." I never put thought into religion until I worked at a Christian owned business. They hands down turned me agnostic/atheist. Tearing up work I had done for Christmas because it was Santa & not Jesus, letting me know "dogs don't have souls" after my dog passed away, implying my LGBTQ+ friend (who temporarily worked there but left due to bullying) was in hell after he died in a car accident... The list goes on with how cruel they were. I only stayed there so long because the job was fun but not the people. I couldn't imagine living with that & being forced to stay.

[@juegosofgaming1215]

They technically weren’t wrong dogs don’t have souls so when they die it’s what an atheist believes death is like and unless your friend accepted Jesus then they were right too

[@ohhello937]

@@juegosofgaming1215 Telling someone that after their dog dies or telling someone’s whose best friend just died that they are in hell is cruel, gross, & inappropriate to say. You completely missed the point of my post & are just like them. 👏 Congratulations

[@hannibalbarca1147]

@@juegosofgaming1215 Dude, wrong place, wrong time. Don't be a jackass.

[@aerka0s760]

@@juegosofgaming1215 Nobody has a soul, it's just a concept to manipulate people not to be afraid of death because "there is something after life dw". And if you looked at the fact that we are animals, therefore we are like a dog, we are just more "evolved" especially on a cognitive part, then we all have no soul or we all have one, there is no in between, it's just denying reality by giving much more value to human beings than we deserve.

[@thearachnid7779]

Are you ok?

[@idrabohm3678]

I'm glad that you had each other during your deconversion. Losing a place in the community can be a big fear for people when their beliefs change, but having one person in your corner can be a game-changer.

[@nenmaster5218]

Know "Sargon's Petition: A Measured Response"?

[@mommakimmins5554]

It absolutely helps. Especially someone as close as a spouse. My husband has been an atheist since before we met. I was still a Christian when we got married. I'm currently in limbo between belief and disbelief, but he's never pressured me one way or the other. He's only accepted me for whatever I choose, as long as I can make it make sense. It's been beyond comforting to know he accepts me for me, and not for my conclusions.

[@Juiceboxdan72]

I think you are correct on that, I didn't have anyone when I went through it, but I always wished I didn't have to do it alone (I'm not bitter, it's just what happened) :)

[@KattReen]

@@nenmaster5218 Carlgon "I can't be bothered reading past a headline and basically never have any idea what I'm talking about" of Akkad?

[@nenmaster5218]

@@KattReen Haha, exactly that one. The famous wanker.

[@kylemoore7746]

My wife tolerated my Catholicism when we started dating in 2005, my loss of faith in 2008, and me recovering from alcoholism a few years ago. She might not be religious, or give a shit about it, but that's as close to a "saint" as I've ever seen. Now we have each other when we sit through family ordeals about their ideologies. It's about your relationship with each other and not the thoughts you have in your own mind.

[@MH-be6hr]

I wish my dad had believed that! 😢

[@lightbeing8174]

Kyle Moore Did john lennon make a deal with the devil and what about paganini the violinist and the codex gigas oh my gosh how can the devil write that book in one night that's more then just thoughts that's a physical book It would take 30 years for some one to write the codex gigas but the devil did it in one night.

[@gooddaysahead1]

I believe in my wife. We experience joys together. We comfort each other in times of need. She gives me plenty of grace. She listens to my desires and my questions. She is in my life and someone who I can see and someone I can relate to. She makes me a better person. She is not invisible. She is real. That's why I believe in her and not something invisible. She is someone I serve. She is not omnipotent. She is not omniscient. She is not beyond time and space. And she is a font of love. What more can I ask for? I do not want to be in love with a creation of someone's imagination. I want to be in love with a person. Isn't it ironic that every religious belief and all content of religious belief is invisible and imperceptible... While my wife is right in front of me.

[@GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic]

This is precisely what I was thinking when I left Christianity ❤️

[@gooddaysahead1]

@@GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic We should never miss the opportunity to love what's right in front of us... and allow their grace to be sufficient. It's as otherworldly as I need.

[@Jeanettesboxingchannel]

Air is invisible..

[@ggez3109]

​@@Jeanettesboxingchannel and very much perceptible, anyway have you ever seen a tornado? All that air swirling? Very much vissible with all that dirt? Because invisible is not the same as insubstancial which is exactly what is anything that is imaginated.

[@Jeanettesboxingchannel]

@@ggez3109 who made the tornado?

[@glutenfreesnark]

"Faith is not a reliable method for determining truth." 🤯 thank you for that nugget, Taylor. Thank you both for talking about your deconstruction journey. It's so helpful ❤

[@topologyrob]

Faith isn't about believing things - it's simply trust. So glad I woke up out of atheism and got free.

[@jimmydavo249]

Faith is 100% "believing" Faith is believing without sufficient evidence That's why there's the saying "take a leap of faith"

[@topologyrob]

@@jimmydavo249 no it’s trust - that’s why cheating on your partner is called being unfaithful

[@jimmydavo249]

@@topologyrob Faith noun strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof.

[@topologyrob]

@x doing very well indeed and you’re clearly very confused

[@julietijerina8176]

Thank you for posting this video. I never understood the "free will" argument at all. "Love me or burn," isn't "free will". It's narcissistic abuse.

[@shovel1934]

Lol remember “I’m not burning you. You chose to burn yourself”

[@codyking4517]

The reason that you go to hell if you don’t accept Christ as your savior is because you have sinned against a holy God. It’s not because God hates you, but because the wages of sin is death. Jesus Christ took our wages and died in our place so that we could reconcile to a Holy Loving God!! God bless you!!!!

[@shovel1934]

@@codyking4517 what do you think this comment will accomplish?

[@spicytrash4981]

@@codyking4517 It's sociopathic. "Love me or you'll be tortured for all eternity." Something a serial killer would say.

[@codyking4517]

@@spicytrash4981 It is because God is Holy and we are sinful. He cannot be in the presence of sin so he sent his sun to take our punishment and wipe our sin away!! He did that because he loves us not because he hates us!! He had every right to let us all burn for an eternity but instead he demonstrated his love toward us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us!!! I hope you will think about this and realize there is a Holy God who loves you!!!

[@jametrics]

Your videos have helped my wife and I as we have left evangelical christianity. I still have lots of family that are deep in. Thanks for the community that comes from your videos.

[@MaestroMephisto]

Did leaving Christianity make you feel obligated to become a raging liberal leftist? There are conservative atheists. Liberals love to scream about science until it comes to the part about BIOLOGY. Then they suddenly don’t quite like science very much.

[@cyrilsneer5957]

Have you tried messianic?

[@indianamerican6362]

I recommend watching Friendly Atheist channel as well. He has great content there.

[@mgrey9066]

I also recommend watching Matt Dilahunty. He had studied to be a pastor. He knows his stuff.

[@mikeygarcia8271]

After your death, what would you do if you woke up on the other side to discover that you were doomed to be bound in hell for eternity...where there is no hope of escape? Your soul will be entombed there together with the tortured souls in hell? Where there's eternal darkness, pain, sorrow, misery, and grief? Can you say with a 100% certainty that there is no hell that awaits you when you die? You may think there is no hell but think again. Many atheists became believers after experiencing hell during a near-death experience. Here is just one of them, a well-documented true story of an atheist college professor who saw and had excruciating agony in hell. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oX3MnqKnj7qKndk

[@mjinba07]

Sounds like you're both ethical, intelligent, independent people. And it sounds like a tough challenge, stepping outside that powerful culture of Evangelical Christianity. Thanks for sharing your journey thus far. Best wishes to you both going forward.

[@edvelociraptor1794]

I really felt identified when Drew mentioned that his family told him that he would come back to christianity one day, because that is exactly what happened to me. Only difference is my family took it a step further by saying that for my sake they hoped it wouldn't take tragedy for that to happen, but if that's what it took then they would welcome me back. I thought, "wow, my parents really want something terrible to happen to me just to prove a point?"

[@GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic]

I didn’t say it in the video out of respect, but they told me this too. They didn’t want something bad to happen, but thought that might be the way it would work out in the end.

[@MaryamMaqdisi]

That's the same way my father reacted when I left the Church, luckily he deconstructed a lot with time and I love him dearly despite his past decisions

[@SeekingVirtueA]

Thanks to both of you! My wife and I are both deconstructing from our conservative Catholic faith, and I’ve found your channel very helpful - especially humanizing the journey. Thanks again!

[@williamlarochelle6833]

Ex-Catholic atheist here. "Apostatized" some 20 years ago & have never once regretted it. I'm never tempted to return to it--not knowing what I know. There's just no way. And I was no nominal Catholic, either. I was very devout.

[@frankiesayspanic]

sending love to you both! 🖤

[@chipperhippo]

Take your time, lots to consider, and hopefully you find a nice support system. Great that you have each other as well

[@pazuzuxx]

Be careful. I'd think twice if I were you. An eternity in hell is not fun. Gods wrath is ferocious

[@robertthomas3367]

Welcome to the facts for living 💯

[@patrickudochukwu6280]

My best point of this video was when you, Taylor said, "God using literature to pass his words was not the best of ways, cos literature is open to interpretation". I feel the same way too. Love seeing you both doing videos. Love you both greatly.

[@thetwelfthdoctor9892]

and, even not considering interpretation, the literate ratio was really low in the period of time God supposedly left his message. It's strange to leave a message directed to all the humans by writing it on a piece of paper that 70% of humanity won't be able to read...

[@Timzy2DripPUBGMOBILE]

1 Corinthians 2:11 ESV / 48 helpful votes For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 1 Corinthians 2:10 ESV / 45 helpful votes These things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.

[@marahaquala1686]

I love this video. I'm a Christian but I wish everybody could see you all talking to each other. You're so harmonious. I think many christians could stand to learn a great deal just from your example as a married couple.

[@jamiehudson3661]

As a Christian you are glad that they are happy leaving christianity because they talk to each other? This is the wierdest comment I have ever heard.

[@triciaperry2234]

@@jamiehudson3661 ie NOT CHRISTIAN 👏 👏

[@jamiehudson3661]

@@triciaperry2234 An accusation with no evidence is simply an accusation.

[@emmanarotzky6565]

It’s not a weird comment at all. Not all Christians are the kind of people who think they must convert everyone because their own religion is the Only Real Way to Get Into Heaven (TM). God will always prefer a nice atheist over a mean theist.

[@marahaquala1686]

@Emma Narotzky Thank you. Some Christians do think that the only reason anyone can get along is because they're Christian. They need to see someone they would condemn getting along perfectly fine.

[@Saezimmerman]

Y’all have such a sweet dynamic. The mutual respect and care you have is beautiful to see.

[@janinegriffiths8281]

You guys are so lovely together. Two intelligent and loving people figuring it out together. Life doesn't get better than that!

[@persephoneharrison3439]

““Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad and easy to travel is the path that leads the way to destruction and eternal loss, and there are many who enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow and difficult to travel is the path that leads the way to [everlasting] life, and there are few who find it.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:13-14‬ ‭AMP‬‬

[@marcomoreno6748]

@@persephoneharrison3439 ?

[@m.a.sperry3424]

@@persephoneharrison3439 As narrow as the mind that thinks this.

[@cybersandoval]

just a note of appreciation for how well these two communicate as a couple, evidenced by staying together through a fight with society

[@mads597]

Ooh well said!

[@fishking7519]

As a teen in a cult rn, watching your vids gives me hope that the future will be ok

[@charlesmendeley9823]

Which cult are you in? Do you need help?

[@fishking7519]

@@charlesmendeley9823 Hasidic Judaism. I think I’ll be fine

[@yolsawise783]

I hope for the best for you. I'm an Atheist, so I cannot pray, but I hope you end up in a good place.

[@fishking7519]

@@yolsawise783 thanks, I’m an atheist too but I still say the word pray since for me it just feels like saying you really hope It turns out fine

[@lostandfound5145]

I used to live in NJ near the Hasidic enclaves and I would take my children to the local playgrounds and see the families and it would be so hot and the kids were all bundled up, following so many rules, it lacked freedom to such a serious extent… I would find that so smothering. Jesus is the way, I have found that in my adult life through a lot of careful research, but the legalism and the free will crushing behaviors of organized religion destroy all messages of truth. It’s soul crushing. I don’t know what type of family you live in. Some of the less strict groups have very nice families and upbringings and have modern lives. Then you get a lot of help to be successful as an adult. That’s pretty nice. Having family can be incredibly important. Unless they’re totally toxic, then it’s better to go your own way. But it’s a very sad decision to have to make Don’t make it unless you truly have to. Good luck to you ❤️

[@andrewliamdesigndevelopment]

This is honestly making me cry to think about how much fear you both had around being truthful about your doubts. No one should ever feel scared into silence or fear the loss of a loved one.

[@aaronlawrence6350]

One thing Taylor said was basically identical to my journey. She said that she began to realize that the reasons she had for believing, weren't actually that good. I LOVED apologetics. I loved rationalizing my faith, knowing that there was something real and grounded and intellectual beneath the "feeling" I had that God was real. Even as young as age 11 or 12, I attended multiple Apologetics seminars and conferences, and I took copious notes. Notably, at none of these seminars were rebuttals ever raised. You basically got a script, that was presented as a "proof," and I guess whoever you said this to was supposed to just instantly realize how wrong their atheism was. But as I got older and got into Missionary work, and I tried those arguments on other people, they had counterarguments that I could not rebut. So I got on youtube and started watching debates between atheists and Christians, so I'd learn how to refine my Apologetics. And instead, I realized that there weren't any adequate rebuttals, and at the bottom of it all was just faith. All the reasons I had for believing, were actually bad, and I JUST had faith. And that wasn't enough for me. So I stopped believing.

[@pansepot1490]

Doug of the Pinecreek channel always says that the purpose of apologetics is to reassure believers that they are not stupid for believing what they believe. After all the Bible itself admits that “the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing” (1 Corinthians 1:18 NASB1995) meaning that the gospel sounds stupid to those who don’t have faith to begin with. Some people are satisfied with the arguments, often camouflaged as evidence, that apologists provide, while others are not. I have heard of many people who got into apologetics to dispel doubts and fortify their faith and ended up leaving religion altogether. It’s what regularly happens to people who value intellectual honesty. I find endlessly fascinating to learn about other people’s journeys. I would be a good fit for “you never were a true Christian”. I never felt any god/Jesus presence inside or outside of me even if I tried. I was unaware that faith meant that one has to believe regardless of evidence. As a child I assumed that adults believed in god because that was a proven fact (like the globe earth: not an obvious and apparent fact but still a fact that can be empirically proven). As soon as I realized that that was not the case I was out. Must have been 12 or 13 yo.

[@risingregime568]

Thanks for sharing your story. What missionary work were you doing? would really love to hear those arguments you couldn't rebut

[@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep]

That was the issue. You looked to apologetics instead of the person of Jesus. The bible demonstrates there is no evidence good enough to secure faith in Jesus or give ones life to Jesus because there wasn't for the disciples. They all saw him raise the dead, walk on water and so on, yet all denied Jesus on the cross. It wasn't until Pentecost when the Holy Spirit was given whose promise is to reveal Jesus and make him real to you. More real than if he actually did appear to you in the flesh and do miracles like raise the dead and walk on water. It wasn't till the Holy Spirit then the disciples would rather give their life than deny Jesus. Same with hundreds of thousands of Christian martyrs in the Colosseum. The only evidence that substantively matters is from the personal experience of the presence of God. If one doesn't seek that out the person is dead the scripture basically says. It literally sustains the spirit man. It doesn't come from reading the bible, or what many refer to prayer which is making ones requests known to the Lord. It's from what the bible actually calls prayer. What happens after waiting upon the Lord. However long that takes. The bible says then the Lord will put a new song in ones heart, quicken the spirit. The tangible reality of him becomes known. There is no Christian walk otherwise. It's just religious, dead works. It is so important that is why prayerlessness is called a sin. Jesus never said seek faith. He said seek me and I'll give you faith. Jesus is the source for everything. The only evidence that will keep or give in the first place ones assurance in him has to come from him. Seeking the presence of Jesus. Hebrews 11:1 Paul wrote the Greek "hupostasis." It means an internal unseen tangible substance of assurance, of the person of Jesus he gives as an "elegchos" which basically means like a clinical evidence like given in a court of law. As I already brought up it is the most important evidence one can have to give ones life to Jesus. Ultimately nothing else is or can be sufficient. Like I said Jesus, God could appear infront of you right now and do miracles and that wouldn't be enough for you or anyone to give their lives truly to him. It wasn't enough for the disciples. Apologetic and even reading the bible is not enough. One has to wait upon the Lord. It's the key. It may sound boring, but it's his obligation to lead us along and we have to remember that. It's not about trying to find what we think is some key or revelation in scripture, or memorize it, learn the source language, or do works, or pray till blue in the face. It's all ultimately carnal without the presence of God. It's all on him not us. We just have to show up.

[@2020-p2z]

@@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep If the only evidence that substantively matters is the personal experience of the presence of God, then Christianity is a belief that cannot be substantiated. There's no independent way to verify the veracity of such evidence. Your own thoughts are really unreliable as evidence. Your memories are imperfect. Every time someone has told me about their experience of the presence of God, it sounds like someone describing an experience they had on hallucinogens. Why should I believe someone describing such an experience? Why shouldn't I dismiss them as reading too much into their own drug trip? And if I had a similar experience myself, why shouldn't I treat it with the same degree of skepticism as I would an experience I had while tripping out on mushrooms? And yes, things like that can, and do happen in the absence of drug use. The human brain is complicated.

[@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep]

@@2020-p2z But as I showed there is evidence. Meeting someone does not equate to a belief once again, and by your argument all the immaterial is hallucination which is nonsense given your biological existence along with all life is based on an immaterial reality of information.

[@frankiesayspanic]

very excited to hear this story! my husband (of 12 years, we’re 30 lol) and i also left christianity together, me before him (by like two weeks) and it was…hard. very hard. but i’m so glad we’ve had each other, because a lot of people don’t have anyone during this process.

[@the_algorithm]

Or they let their family dictate the relationship and end it.

[@BallotBoxBoogeyMan]

It is so hard!

[@nodieza]

My (then) fiance did not join me on my de-conversion journey. Even now, 10 years or so later she'll send me a message from out of the blue baffled at how I left the faith and how it made no sense. I am glad you had someone. I lost my best friend (fiance) and she took all my friends with her at a time when I had just lost my mom and my church community. Being atheist meant I also lost any meaningful connection to my father and my brother as well. I don't long for those days ever but I am thankful for where I have landed.

[@_Warm_Bread]

Wife and I are in the same boat. Happened 5 years ago for us. The gaslighting & infantilization of my wife was truly incredible. They all said I was coercing her, manipulating her, and forcing her into following me in my unbelief 🤦🏻‍♂️. It was really gross. Thanks for sharing. Solidarity from PHX.

[@nenmaster5218]

Want some Watch-Suggests? Atheist-Channel, Fraud-Debunkers, Science-Channel?

[@FakingANerve]

Interesting takeaway...

[@elapid_skeptic]

I fear this is how my mom will react to my husband as my husband has been an agnostic/atheist since we’ve known each other (for 10 years). I’m worried about her blaming him and saying he got in my head about things. When I actually did all the research myself and came to my own conclusions. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell her honestly

[@_Warm_Bread]

@@elapid_skeptic thinking of you both. There is no good prescription broadly. What I can say is that we both would rather live in the truth of our unbelief with the consequences than lie or pretend for others benefit.

[@flyfree78644]

Your relationship is a healthy breath of fresh air. Thanks Taylor and Drew.

[@AlleyBetwixt]

Just came back to watch this properly after meaning to for a few weeks. This was a great talk and super valuable for anyone else going through a similar process. Huge appreciation for Taylor sharing her own unique journey! Thank you both.

[@Nick-yj8im]

I'm currently leaving Evangelical christianity to join the United church that has an affirming church for lgbt people. I am transgender and am losing a lot of friends from my pentecostal church. Your videos help me even though I'm not an atheist and still believe in Jesus. Thank you Drew!

[@levipierpont]

Hey Nick! When I was 18, I left my father's Baptist church for a United Church of Christ down the street exactly for the reason that they accepted me as a queer person. I don't identify as a Christian anymore, but most of my friends are, and let me tell you, if the affirming church you're attending is anything like the one I found, you could have close friends and mentors from that community for the rest of your life. You might appreciate some of what I've written (albeit years ago) about my coming out journey on my blog. If you search my name, it should be the first thing to come up. Good luck to you!

[@HumanimalChannel]

Are you gay and strugglibg w that because of how you were raised and so assume uts more acceptable to transutuon and then be "straight"? You cannot change sex. Real gebder dysphoria is very rare, and requires PROPER help, not dangeroys damaging Affirmation.

[@burtbackattack]

Aww, you two are an extremely cute couple! Glad you've both found your way out of your respective denominations.

[@dennissmith1072]

The main thing that I disregarded when I cast off my faith was that marriage itself is the point. I couldn't fathom the idea that I could be with someone else and have children and be secure without a ring. I also stayed in a failing marriage for way too long because I thought I'd be a failure if we got divorced. I'm with the love of my life now with no plans of getting married and have never been happier.

[@charisma-hornum-fries]

I’m married but without kids. That’s unacceptable for many. We each have our own and others stereotypes to knock down. My husband and I agree that if we split it’s a bigger issue getting out of our debt to the bank then getting a divorce.

[@luadiva]

this was such a treat to watch; maturing together through paradigms shifting, keeping what matters most (each other). Not everyone shares similar tempo in growth measured through the function of time. Excellent job, both of you!

[@tessa6307]

This is such a sweet video; I can imagine deconstruction being such a difficult event for a marriage, and it’s really refreshing to see a couple who was able to weather that at such a young age. I really connected to Taylor’s story. My loss of faith was slow and somewhat uneventful. In hindsight, I think a big factor was my relationships with other people. I’d been told for so long that the only way to have meaning in relationships was if Jesus was in the center. It didn’t sit right with me that my most meaningful friendships and relationships were godless, and the ones where Jesus was at the center felt so contrived

[@Lousysuperior]

My wife and I went through a very similar situation. Married at 21, I started having doubts. This is incredibly re-assuring and I wish I had seen this video a year ago!

[@jeansindhikara1823]

I am so impressed with you two as a couple. Your honesty and openness and compassion make for life long happiness. I know you will enjoy the journey ahead.

[@timoteoneves1811]

I really loved hearing your journey in leaving church. You brought up a transparent picture of how to face faith in relationships in an inspiring way. I'm Evangelical Christian and was brought up that way as the son of a pastor and a missionary kid. After becoming independent and going through a process of deconstructing and reconstructing my faith (which I still am), my faith has become stronger than it has been. I'd encourage anyone to do the same, regardless if they grew up with it in their families or if they had a last-night conversion (I loved the comment Taylor said on that. It was quite insightful). In the video both of you also presented serious issues with the way many Evangelicals approach marriage and this was very valuable. I, found out about this channel recently, but I have a lot of appreciation for the way it problematizes issues with the church and Evangelicals today in a respectful and sincere way. Keep doing what you do!

[@someonerandom256]

I'm 38 and my husband is 40, married 18 years with three teenaged sons rapidly nearing adulthood. My husband was raised Catholic, but never bought into the theology, and was happy to call himself a non-denominational Christian and live a largely secular life. I was raised in non-denominational and Methodist churches, with a mother who is quite fundie, but a father who is very laid back about religion, despite being a deacon, helping with church finances, and donating to lots of Christian charities. I've been deconstructing for the past 5 years or so, very gradually as I had always prided myself on my faith above all things. Finally a few months ago it was like a switch flipped and everything fell into place. I talked to my husband the next day and told him I was no longer a Christian and he confessed to me that he was always skeptical and simply accepted the Christian label all those years because he knew it was important to me and his Mom. I am very happily agnostic, with a tentative belief that there could potentially be some kind of nebulous creator somewhere in the universe that doesn't fit the mold of the Hebrew God. I call myself a deistic leaning agnostic. I lean a little more toward atheistic than my husband. He never had the lightbulb moment of certainty that I did. He was just skeptical from day one, and never examined his beliefs very closely. We aren't saying anything to family. Both of our mothers would be crushed, and both of our dads are unlikely to live more than a few years, so we are holding out. We also have some close family members in a Pentacostal faith healing cult, and we don't want them to cut ties because they have children that we care deeply about. We are gradually changing the way we talk to our kids about religion, but we have always raised them to be skeptics and question everything. While there was some low key indoctrination going on as they were growing up, we haven't gone to church in probably 6-7 years, and it gradually tapered off as they aged and I began to question things. If they asked me outright if I still believe I would tell them the truth, but I'm more trying to gradually put out hints that our stance has changed. All I know is that since I started deconstructing I've become much more mellow and forgiving of myself, and now that I'm no longer a Christian, I feel truly happy. I'm so glad not to have the idea of Hell hanging over my head at every step! So much fear has gone out of my life!

[@leahdossantos9556]

I have such a great admiration for the strength of Drew and Taylor's relationship for withstanding the challenges of their deconversions❤️ It sounds like they dealt with things in such a healthy way, and I found it wonderful to hear about.

[@AbbeyRoadkill1]

Thanks for sharing your story. I was raised by devout Catholic parents but I became an agnostic/atheist very suddenly in my mid-teens It happened after taking my first biology, chemistry, and physics courses at school. After discovering science the world made sense to me for the first time, and I realized I didn't have good reasons to believe the supernatural parts of Christianity.

[@jedimaster8103]

I became an atheist about a year ago (I'm 22 for reference) after experiencing extreme doubt over what I had been taught growing up and going to extreme lengths to justify and explain my faith. I'm autistic and am very logical and precise by nature and deeply wanted to discover the true nature of reality which over the period of about 6 years led me to abandoning my faith. Being autistic has always made relationships very hard and I had kind of given up on finding someone but about a month ago I started working with this girl who is also autistic, we share many of the same interests and we think the same way. I've never connected with anyone like this before and don't feel the need to mask or hide who I am around her. We've been dating now for about 2 weeks. The only problem is she comes from a very fundamentalist family (as I also did) and nobody knows I'm an atheist except my 2 closest friends. I really don't care, I have some gripes against organized religion but have no issues with a personal belief and connection to god, in fact I believe it's extremely beneficial for some. However I know what her reaction would likely be because I would have had the same reaction a year ago. I don't know how to handle this because I really think she's the one and when you're autistic there's really not that many other fish in the sea but I also want to be honest and open with her. It's also further complicated by the fact that in my job we work in teams of two and our boss is my first pastor (the one who married my parents) and he also was her pastor a few years ago. He wants me to take over the business so he can retire but I also know he prides himself on the fact that it's a Christian owned business so if this doesn't work perfectly I'll lose the first girl I've ever really connected with, my coworker, and my future career. Maybe I'm Catastrophizing, which I tend to do quite often but any advice is greatly appreciated.

[@irishkat8451]

Someone give this man advice!

[@kenbee1957]

@@irishkat8451 There is unfortunately not much advice that can be given here The layers are just too deep @OP It's sad to say but, you're going to have to lie a whole lot for a a long while to a bunch of people. Your situation really does not leave much leeway for anything else. It probably won't be forever though, things change and in recent years (after the pandemic) things change a whole lot faster than they ever have The reality is that you're going to have to "fake it till you make it". You seem happy with your situation already, you seem to really be into this girl and your job sounds comfortable (and rewarding) Hold on to those things until such a time that you can finally come out safely without jeopardising all of them. If Drew's story is anything to go by, I will add my own personal anecdote and assure you that it is often surprising how transitioning stories turn out to have a "What? Me too!" reaction from your partner. Jumping to that point prematurely though is never a good idea

[@jedimaster8103]

Update: I really appreciate your advice@@kenbee1957 we did get to have a conversation about this and it turns out she's been at least doubting her faith for several years. She hasn't made a firm decision anyway and I'm not pressuring her. I told her whatever she decides can't change the way I feel. We are in a good situation right now. We still have not told her parents or my boss but things between the two of us are going great.

[@kenbee1957]

@@jedimaster8103 It sounds like you're halfway there! This is really really good to hear

[@ech9817]

​@jedimaster8103 Glad things are at least going well with your partner :) If you want my two cents, honesty is probably the best bet, not because it'll make your situation necessarily better with your boss or parents, but because the mental weight of carrying a lie like this for them cannot be carried forever. If you get the company and come out as atheist later, it might cause worse problems than if you had just come out sooner and been denied the company outright. I really do wish you well and hope things turn out well for you, regardless of what you choose

[@rbilleaud]

People are always talking about these very visceral deconversion experiences, but I think the vast majority of former Christians just gradually drift away. It was like that with me. I went to a Catholic school and really started questioning fairly early on and just kept running across things that didn't make sense about religion. It was only recently (and I'm 56 now) that I more or less completely disconnected from my belief in God. I guess I still believe in a creator, but in sort of a nebulous sense. Like what the universe or multiverse had to come from something, but I'm not sure what. And I'm comfortable with that. But I don't believe this creative force, whatever it may be, intervenes in our lives.

[@pansepot1490]

“Visceral” deconversion experiences make better stories to tell that’s why we hear more of them.

[@rbilleaud]

@@pansepot1490 true. I don't think anyone would be interested in boring "drifting away" stories.

[@rainbowkrampus]

"the universe or multiverse had to come from something" Logical inference doesn't mean much when we're talking about a point where cause and effect stop making sense. It may not seem like it but, "it had to come from something" is a big leap in logic to make considering we don't and currently can't know anything about the universe prior to just after the Big Bang. As far as we know the concept of time or objects before the Big Bang might be entirely irrational. Also keep in mind that our stupid monkey brains are real bad at conceiving infinity. It's possible that the universe has always existed and will always exist and didn't come from anywhere in a sense that we would understand. Point being, I'm not sure I'd be so ready to saddle myself to even the most nebulous idea of a creator considering the above factors. You don't really need one, the concept itself may not even make sense and the most likely candidate for one is the universe itself.

[@jeannie1592]

Thanks for sharing! If you cared to put a label on your current beliefs you're describing, it sound like deism 😊

[@Justas399]

@@rainbowkrampus The creation of the universe requires God because He is the best explanation for it. No naturalistic explanation can explain it.

[@uplate6674]

I’ve always wondered how married adults do it. I left Catholicism as a teenager, and while I did have to tell my parents why I no longer wanted to go to church, I didn’t have to negotiate any of that process with a partner I’d met as a Catholic.

[@Skylancer727]

I pulled that more direct path of never truly believing in the first place. Back in 1st grade, I was already confused with the fact they would tell me the story of Cinderella and tell me it's totally made up, then tell me a story from the Bible and get mixed answers if it was serious or not. I eventually came to just the understanding internally that it was all hogwash. But my opinions of the church tanked when I learned those letters were giving at church actually was our money. When I asked why the church needed our money, mother just used the excuse that the church needed to be maintained and to run the AC, but then they later started doing double payments for "increasing energy costs" when we literally live in an area with the cheapest electricity in the entire country. From there I just kinda took on the fact it was just hogwash, it was a scam.

[@SeekingVirtueA]

It can be scary. I asked my wife not to leave me while choking back tears (I never cry). She was thankfully willing to walk this journey with me. But there’s a lot of challenges in doing this.

[@haleyholbrook7542]

Y’all are lovely together 🥺🥺 the way y’all communicate is so admirable

[@Shventastic]

It was the constant feedback about my wife being a "restless and strong-willed woman" and me "failing to lead her." I started doubting more and more over the course of three years on my own in secret and after suffering through a sermon on submission and biblical marriage, I finally snapped and accepted that I was no longer a Christian. I remember constantly thinking, "You're telling me God didn't make even one couple that would benefit from female leadership?" My wife and I had an identical marriage dynamic (including the 'processing period' after I blurted out my loss of faith).

[@GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic]

In my experience, the type of men who preached “biblical marriage” most enthusiastically was incredibly telling. The more emotionally immature, insecure with their masculinity, and communication-impaired the man, the more he boasted that God said women were to submit to him. It made me realize that attitude likely informed the original doctrine, having been written exclusively by men in the first place.

[@mbs8001]

@@GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic pllllease do a video on this! If you already have, I need to find it! I’m still in church, for my husband’s sake (but he’s not into headship), and they seem to really be doubling down on the male dominance, lately. I’m scared for Christian women.

[@marknieuweboer8099]

Heh heh, my preference for strong-willed women and me refusing to lead them is one important emotional factor to dislike christianity on a personal level.

[@svensvenforkedbeard170]

I'll be open that I'm a Christian and I really can't stand this mindset. I'm from an area where women have always been historically powerful in the community and to come across people with beliefs on the perceived inferiority of women? Man it sucks to hear

[@jamiehudson3661]

The Bible nowhere says that a woman is a door mat. That's not what submission is. It is recognizing that the woman has a different role than the man. The man might be the leader but the wife is the influencer - which has the most power? It's only when both the man and woman are submitting to God that these roles work together and complimenting one another. If all the man and woman are focused on is power then of course they will buck one another. I look at it as two different types of metal. The man could be compared to steel and the woman to gold. The steel is toughter than the gold but you cannot say that the gold is inferior to the steel.

[@rashkavar]

Even just watching you two interact, it's plain to see just how much respect you have in your relationship, and how much you value communication with eachother. There's huge swathes of this video where, despite the content being for the benefit of the audience, your body language is directed more at each other. Really awesome to see that...too often the whole "respect and communication" thing is just there in the words as window dressing to hide the cracks in the relationship. And huge respect to you, Drew, for holding back so much from trying to convince your wife to follow you away from Christianity. I always get frustrated by missionary-style attempts to convert people, but in that situation, with someone that close, I'd find it very hard to not talk about it. But that's coming from someone who grew up agnostic/atheist and not being particularly close to religious folks. I've had friends who believed, of course, just generally limited to folks who are willing to accept a friend that isn't religious. I can only think of one time I actually had to put that into words - something along the lines of pointing out I'd never tried to stop them from believing what they believe, and I'd appreciate it if they'd show me the same courtesy. Can't remember their initial reaction, but I don't remember it causing problems long term. (And yes, that's why I find missionaries frustrating - on the one hand they're generally decent people who are trying to save others from what they see as literal damnation, on the other hand they're telling people "your belief system is inherently wrong" which I consider to be incredibly disrespectful.)

[@richardbigouette3651]

Communication is a huge component of marriage and you two got it. I noticed y'all talk like friends too which is awesome.

[@anonymous01792]

Love this! I spent several years going through my own deconversion. For many of those years I didn’t particularly care if Christianity was true so I didn’t seek a lot of resources one way or the other. But a year and a half ago my son was born and I knew instantly, one day he’s going to have questions about spirituality and I haven’t prepared myself to answer these questions! At that point my deconversion went from 0-100 I spent hours pouring over Native American philosophy, your KZbin channel, re-reading my notes from my Biblical Hebrew classes. Christian apologetics, pagans, the list goes on. To wrap up this story I came out the other end a Buddhist. But your channel was and is a HUGE help for me. This is a discussion I still haven’t had with my very religious/Catholic father but it will come in time I’m sure. Thank you both for all your work!

[@JP2GiannaT]

I know a surprising amount of Catholics turned Buddhists. I wonder why.

[@celloafterdark4173]

I left Christianity while I was still in school so never had the inundation of expectations of a marriage that comes with being in that religion. So sad that yall felt the "magic" of your relationship and your love was credited to god and the church and I'm happy that you realized that your relationship is your own! ❤️❤️ Also Taylor's makeup looks amazing, yall are such a cute couple

[@MooChoochan]

I found your channel recently, was a pastors kid in a pentecostal church for the first 19 years of my life, so I commend you for even having "the talk" with your parents. I think mine have gathered that I'm at least agnostic but I've never broached the subject. Now that I'm on my own and on the outside it's hard to not see it as some huge mlm scam. I've found that it's really hard to deconstruct when your entire support system is so set on you coming back into the fold so to speak so it's great you had each other through the process. ❤️ Wishing you both the best.

[@SilverDragonJay]

12:54 this story is both amusing and wholesome husband: "oh no, my wife, she has left me. my marriage is over!" wife: "heeeey~, I went out to get starbucks!" I'm glad everything worked out for you two.

[@mads597]

I know I loved this!!

[@honeylemon2372]

I know I chuckled at this.

[@rohanfirminger9182]

Applause! What an absolutely uplifting and heart warming story. It’s so sublime to feel the deep love and respect you have for each other come pouring through the video so warmly and positively. I’m so glad you had the courage and generosity to share your journey so openly and sincerely. Truly moving, inspirational, and touching. And what a wonderful journey to share together, rising from the harsh control and rigidity of the cult like mental prison of fundamentalism and ignorance, to your own unique “brand” of free thinking, logic and “enlightenment”. I wish more people could be as mature as you both are, and as respectful and thoughtful. The world would be a better place.

[@ckblackwoodmusic]

This was just lovely, as the two of you are; becoming an atheist is a big part of growing up indeed!

[@Frostything]

I love the closing lines on growing up together. My girlfriend and I went through a similar process a year ago and it has been such a bonding experience as we discover the world all over again.

[@mads597]

This is beautiful

[@abigailbaxter5530]

you guys are so cute!!! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, it shows me that two people loving each other can break down barriers that patriarchy and Christianity place in between people to keep us isolated, alone, and scared to doubt. Love you both!

[@rosadele9715]

what did christianity do ?

[@mattcrowing]

I’m really glad you guys shared this. I consider myself a believer still, as does my partner. However, I find your channel particularly refreshing because it gives a different perspective than my own and, I feel that it is INCREDIBLY important. We are both currently questioning where exactly we are going to land with our own struggles on this subject. This video encourages me to continue to seek out the perspectives of others and really introspect to see what I may end up landing on.

[@nopnop4790]

This has been one of the sweetest videos I've watched. Thank you guys, because of you I'm diabetic now. Jokes aside, thanks for sharing your story! It was wonderful!

[@rolandking640]

This was very nice to hear. The dynamic of their relationship was stronger than faith and intellect was given room to do it's thing

[@charisma-hornum-fries]

It’s really great having both of your perspectives from kids to now. Having each other must have been a giant support for you both. Thanks for talking about yourselves in such a deep sense.

[@Lord_zeel]

I love how deep the programming goes, that I can hear someone say "I believed the world was about 6000 years old" and my first thought is "more like 8000" before the rational part of my brain can catch up and remind me that both of those numbers are absolute nonsense.

[@rainingtacos3135]

Thank you for posting videos you have helped me so much when I left Christianity love your videos!

[@Didisayhi]

Very inspirational!!! Thanks for sharing!! From a long and happy subscriber!!

[@stephenrichie4646]

Thanks for sharing. My wife and I met in a Southern Baptist church, agreed mostly, though I always was a bit more liberal, and skeptical. At about the twenty year mark, my thinking had evolved to the point where I simply could no longer accept the faith. It took some time for her to get her head around this reality, but now, 42 years later we are in complete agreement. (BTW, I was VP of a bible college when I thought my way out.).

[@svensvenforkedbeard170]

You know I didn't find out until recently that the southern Baptist church was founded to promote slavery. I was shocked

[@dogearflopper7011]

I'm glad you emphasized the process over the conclusion. The processes are so much more important in the discovery of truth, and well-intentioned people should have nothing to fear from a well-refined analysis.

[@Ofthehouseofbeards]

I love hearing you two talk. Very calming, but also you are both so sincere. Wonderful listening to you.

[@barrylyndongurley]

When the need for inclusion in a group gives way to a deeper impulse for freedom of thought and spirit, somewhere an angel gets it's wings. Congratulations to you both.

[@sandequation2653]

This is such an interesting conversation, you both have a beautiful way of expressing yourselves. Your dissection of the whole thought process you went through has helped me to understand what it's like to live with these beliefs implanted in you from a young age, which I think is very helpful in understanding a lot of behaviour and struggles which are quite mysterious if you did not grow up in a religion.

[@deekman78]

You're so close to half a million subscribers. Fantastic. Thanks for telling your story; hopefully it will help others in some way.

[@jeffharrington7525]

I love this story and how you both stayed together. My deconstruction from Mormonism was tough and it took many years for my wife to follow. Our commitment and love for each other transcended our beliefs and kept us together. We are stronger now than before due to the struggle of change together.

[@turtlezen4292]

This was such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it.

[@lisahenke5027]

I love that you're critical thinkers at your age. It took me decades longer and kudos to you both!!

[@lightbeing8174]

watch the devil and father amorth trailer. That is a real exorcism being documented in real time.

[@collierbrooks9344]

Thank you so much for this!! Your story is very similar to my wife and I. I resonated so much with everything you said. You are lucky to have each other, and I'm glad that you and others in the comments were able to put your love about your faith!

[@theologytherapist]

I really appreciate that you've both let yourselves be such a great example of how leaving one's religion/spirituality doesn't always mean total impending doom for everyone! There's space and opportunity to maintain relationships that are grounded in, as you said, open communication, love, and empathy.

[@tychaos1667]

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. It reminds so many of us that we aren't alone in our journeys of breaking free. Also you guys are cute AF togeher 😭🧡

[@MooMooMath]

Thanks for sharing your story. I had a similar path and left the Church, and many parts of my faith. Nine years later, due to some weird, bizarre occurances in my life, like crazy serendipitous events, random coins appearing in my normal activities everyday for over 200 days, and having very clear spiritual insight, I'm slowly looking at faith again but from a very different point of view. I know for the many skeptics reading this it sounds ridiculous, but it's been my journey and I have taken a picture of every single coin that crossed my path.

[@QuiveringEye]

It does sound a bit ridiculous, but I still wish you the best.

[@erikrohr4396]

I'll just put it out there - the idea that the world and its people are not created by God is nonsensical.

[@erikrohr4396]

@@lepidoptera9337 How about chicken?

[@erikrohr4396]

@@lepidoptera9337 Okay. Are you trying to persuade me of something?

[@erikrohr4396]

@@lepidoptera9337 Ah, the first insult. Good day to you.

[@bobh5087]

You're both smart and good people. Thanks for sharing your stories with us. Religion is such a suffocating and claustrophobic trap and an unnecessary burden to carry through life... a sort of straight jacket. It's always a good thing to lighten our mental and emotional loads so that we have the freedom and energy to devote to real, not imaginary, issues in life.

[@SartorialDragon]

You two have such a good relationship with good communication. ❤it's a joy to see that!

[@JackieOdonnel]

Really enjoyed this one. Glad you two found each other and that you only grew stronger through this. That's really healthy. All the best to you both!

[@tombrewsaugh1399]

People often ask how my wife and I have stayed married for 41 years. Our answer has always been open communication and trust. We went to church with our children for quite a few years and became very involved so much so that I eventually held an elected position. Then one day we just started to really listen to what was being taught and paying attention to the words in some of the songs and a realization came over us that we no longer believed what we were hearing. We decided that day to walk away.

[@TommyFlanagan666]

Thank you for sharing your experiences, Taylor and Drew. My wife (a Nazarene PK) and I began to have doubts in our 30s and finally decided to walk away from religion a few years later. That was 15 years ago and our lives and our marriage have grown richer and stronger every day since. While my wife’s father has passed on, her mother has done her best to understand our decision. Respect it is another thing entirely, but she is at least trying, and that’s all we have ever asked. We really enjoy your channel here and wish you continued success as you educate and seek to help believers see that we needn’t be enemies. Take care.

[@richardb7495]

Wow I'm very touched that you guys were so sensitive to the legalization of same sex marriage that made me feel very affirmed 😃 And as an aside you guys look great together

[@RolfStones]

When I came across your channel you were already pretty big for someone who had just begone posting videos. After binge watching all 3 or 4 videos at that time, I subscribed, and I am in no way surprised you're almost at 500k at this time. Maybe a little gutted you didn't reach it already. Thanks for all the quality content! Looking forward to seeing your channel grow larger still! Well done!

[@thomashennessy8427]

Good for you two. The tone of your videos is helpful - and no doubt reaches those open to listening.

[@braydenmiller8021]

Drew, my story is very similar to yours. I was a Christian apologists for 6 years and I’ve recently left Christianity. Thankfully, my wife who is still a Christian knows me well enough to know that it’s not because I hate God or anything like that and she loves me regardless. My family is also very into essential oils lol.

[@svensvenforkedbeard170]

That's so good that you are still together and can reconcile your differences

[@redpillsatori3020]

Sad thing is I like essential oils. I use tea tree oil for bug bites, and I make a homemade cleaner using lemon oil and hydrogen peroxide, but it just sucks that companies like YL have turned it into a cult that scams people.

[@braydenmiller8021]

@@redpillsatori3020 yes, and there’s absolutely no problem with using oils!

[@svensvenforkedbeard170]

@@redpillsatori3020 The issue is never snake oil, it is the people selling it and their tactics.

[@chocolatestraw3971]

Someone tried that Josh Feuerstein circle thing with me. After they were done, I asked if I could borrow the drawing and pen. I then made dots and wrote Odin, Zeus, Quetzalcoatl, Pachamama, Ganesha, etc. next to them.

[@ransom2610]

This is amazing.

[@vls3771]

You guys are so fortunate to be able to move forward together ..All the best and thanks for channel ...

[@stevenhogenson4880]

I was a believer most of my life, leaving it all behind when I was in my early 50's. My parents don't know. None of my kids know, but most of them aren't involved in faith or the church anyway. I lost my first wife, an ardent Christian, in an auto accident when I was 41 and when I remarried my current spouse was very attracted by the faith aspect. Now she feels angry and utterly betrayed and cannot understand why I no longer believe and really doesn't want try to understand. For us, faith is the huge elephant in the room that doesn't get talked about. I don't bother trying to explain because she doesn't want to listen. She just thinks I'm messed up and will come around eventually. Not going to happen. But SOOO many Christians jump on the "but if you don't believe, you'll go to HELL when you die and I"ll never see you again!!!" I've never told her this, but the only time that will matter is while she is still alive. Once she is dead, it won't matter. Same for all believers. Once you're dead, you're gone. You really won't care anymore about seeing anybody. Fade to black, no going back.

[@juegosofgaming1215]

Not what religious people believe bro for her what matters most is once you’re dead

[@paulb4940]

Thanks for sharing. No question that I'm having an easier time than you. Keep strong.

[@gigi.l]

I've never clicked earlier, this looks very interesting. I'm interesting in hearing both of your perspectives

[@crystalgiddens7276]

it means "open marriages" and stuff!

[@starpenta]

That is so cool that you guys stayed together through that! @, Taylor, it took me years of questioning before I could let go of the belief and that seems to be true in many cases. I know a handful of people that knew from when they were small and I've only heard of one that was raised atheist.

[@hanna-writes]

As a European PK who no longer believes in God, it’s so fascinating to hear about your journey. The Christianity I grew up with is much less strict and culty, so questioning my faith didn’t feel like as much of a betrayal, but at the same time, there weren’t as many glaring red flags to make my questioning feel justified, if that makes sense. I’ve expressed some doubts about Christianity to my mom and a few more to my sister, but the only person who knows exactly how far I am from ever going back to Christianity is my husband. He has been my rock through all of this, and as he’s currently struggling with some doubts himself (more around the church than the faith itself) I hope I can be his rock, too. He’s Canadian, so his experience with Christianity and the church has unfortunately been more like yours.

[@eloisesjohnson28]

You both are very mature. Being raised in fundamentalism in foster homes, I couldn't go along with such a rigid belief system. But it took years before I broke my silence, just to keep the peace. I do believe there is something more, But I have no exact answer to what that more is. It's great that you both accept each other's belief. Keep up the good and sometimes difficult work.

[@fdcaires]

I am a physician for 20 year now, converted to christianity 10 year before I get to medical school. I am married to a wonderful born christian, somehow conservative, wife. I lived at the church, kinda supressing the doubts, specially those of scientific nature, because the church and friends were a kind of a cosy place to stay. The pandemics and the polarity that came along just made it crystal clear how the dogmatism is indeed dangerous, - must of my closest friends became antivaxxer just because our altright president was (or were, sorry my english) - that I stopped supressing my doubts, and ended up an atheist/agnostic. It was kinda hard, especially for my wife, which is still christian, but we think we are dealing quite ok with it. Watching this channel has been a huge confort to me!

[@georges617]

I've got friends here in Germany who've been together for almost a decade now. The woman is deeply Catholic. Her boyfriend is not just atheist, he's pretty much an antitheist. So one day I took the liberty of asking them how they can make this work. His response: "Discussing theology during dinner doesn't really make for a good conversation. We'd rather talk about the 99 other things we've got in common instead of the one thing we disagree about." Maybe this phenomenon is more evident here in Europe rather than the US, but here, religion is pretty much like political beliefs: an entirely private matter that doesn't get to define your relationships with the people you interact with on a daily basis. My girlfriend and I also have some fundamental disagreements when it comes to politics, but since any action on that is limited to the voting booth and stays out of our household, we can live with that and never was there even a suggestion that this might hurt our relationship in any way.

[@oryx_85]

I think it becomes an issue in a relationship when the religious partner wants a religious marrige. In Islam and fundamental Christiananity marrige is part of the religion. Especially in Islam is is said that half your "deen" or faith is being married. Mormons also have some belief that women can not obtain the highest heaven without a husband to show her the way in death. So these extreme lifestyles make people not accepting a spouse who does not belive as they do. Even in casually religious homes you would have to determine how to raise the children you might have either as religious or not religious. If religion is introduced too late in a child's development they will likely not follow through with a practicing faith. I dont see an issue with that but some people want their kids to have the same faith as them and that could create conflict in a relationship. Also if a religion demands a tithe of 10% of your household income that may also cause financial disagreement. I would not want to be in a relationship with anyone that had a strong conviction of faith because I see it as a negative but that is just my personal preference.

[@QuiveringEye]

Yes, there is a lot to a person besides their religion or politics. There are certainly people worth including in our lives that disagree with us. It's why I despise "if anyone believes this, they are a horrible person."

[@buttkid3548]

I can take my wife being a believer, while I myself am antitheist, but I could never tolerate being married to a right wing Trump supporter. No f**king way.

[@QuiveringEye]

@Kenneth Johnson What would you say if I could show you unequivocally that homosexuality exists and that there are more than two sexes in the animal kingdom?

[@QuiveringEye]

@Kenneth Johnson And even better than baffled, you'd be educated! More than 2 sexes: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oYWTeX2hp5adoJY Gay Animals! kzbin.info/www/bejne/iJOmY6WkZ72Satk

[@RePlayQ]

As a young kid my parents were a bit religious. They believed in at least a god and heaven and hell and we’d go to church now and then. However, ever since I was diagnosed with cancer in second grade religion basically disappeared out of my household and I remember my dad no longer wearing a cross. I’ve never really discussed this shift with my parents and I hardly remember it but I feel they went through a similar deconstruction of faith during my first couple years of treatment. As an adult I’m openly atheist and often have scientific and moral discussions about life with my parents and any mention of religion is typically in reference to history, movement of people, psychology, etc. I very much find it interesting that care, love, and respect within a family can separate them from religion. At least in these 2 anecdotal examples.

[@norcimorci]

Dunno why this video popped up on my feed, but what an awesome couple you are! Well spoken, smart, will probably watch more of your videos😀

[@rawaspectgaming7093]

I was 10 Years old when I left the Baptist Church, and religion/Christianity in general. I remember the Catalyst that caused me to quite literally stand up and walk out of the Church and go sit in the car until service was done so we could go home. I was sitting there and we were listening to the Pastor do his sermon when all of a sudden he just starting rambling in unintelligible speech. I Looked up at my mom and asked her, "What is he doing and why is he talking like that Momma?" Her reply, "He is speaking in tongue. It means God is speaking through him." I said, "Really, well I can do that too," then continued making a bunch of rambling, unintelligible speech like the Pastor. "See, I can speak in tongue also." Then immediately got up, amazed by how ridiculous that "Speaking in Tongues," thing was and walked out of the Church. I have no been a God Fearing Believer since. I've been a very happy and proud Infidel I guess you could say and I'm glad it happened when it was at an age where I could easily disregard my Religious beliefs and not 100% Indoctrinated.

[@rawaspectgaming7093]

So I was the literally the ONLY Non-Believer on my mom's side of the Family who all had grown up Southern Baptist and stuck, unable to open their minds to look at all the angles of their beliefs. However, when I approached my Late 20's-Early 30's.. my Mother started to finally look and gaze upon the larger picture and start to question things. She is STILL a firm Believer and Religious, but not as hardcore as she was back then. She now comes to her Non-Believing Son to help her Understand her Bible and interpret her Beliefs for her from a Different Angle and she loves it. She will often read me a passage and ask me what it means, and break it down into an interpretation she understands better.

[@letahamilton]

Nearly 500k subscribers. Well done Drew. Definitely enjoy your content. Both you & Taylor are tip top humans! 😊

[@claireleblanc5471]

I love that you guys made it out and made it out together. It can be hard to leave when you know you will lose people, but having a partner on that journey sure would help

[@sofiatgarcia3970]

Thanks to both of you. I left the church a couple of decades ago and for me it was a slow drawn-out process of me examining and re-examining my beliefs until I realized none of them were in a god or the church. Thganks for sharing.

[@zacharyjohnson7944]

I’ve always been atheist, my mom tried making me go to church, it never caught on. I’ve just never understood how they get away with shrouding the idea that everything they do is good and godly when they just want sexism and homophobia and an 1st century way of thinking leading their life. Especially when you get deeper into the science denier kind of Christians, it just amazes me that anyone can use faith as evidence, but this video made me understand more than these people can’t even help it. Their entire being is based on the fact this magical man is saving them from a life of damnation.

[@tiana5395]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! Your channel has been an important part of my own years-long deconstruction story, to help me untangle the dogma I grew up with from what is real around me in a fair-minded good-faith way.

[@catherineclock4878]

This is in an interesting story. I'm a devout Catholic, but I married an evangelical Christian who converted to Catholicism. I can't help but notice that doubt can be catching in a marriage. My husband has had his own doubts, and definite wounds from his upbringing, though he still practices. I think the reason why Christians would counsel against marrying someone who's lost their faith is because it DOES affect you. Without very profound and concrete spiritual experiences in my life, my faith would be very affected I think.