What Your SILENCE Means to The Narcissist

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What Your SILENCE Means to The Narcissist // In this video, I share with you exactly what your silence means to the narcissist.
Here’s what I cover specifically:
☑️ Why narcissistic people are actually energy vampires
☑️ What qualifies as narcissistic supply
☑️ What your silence accomplishes with the narcissist
☑️ Why it’s always about power, domination, and control with narcissistic people
☑️ Being smeared and how to handle it.
Enjoy!
~ Tamie M xx
#superempath #knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
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⚜️ WHO IS TAMIE M? ⚜️
Tamie M is a Life Coach specializing in Empath Empowerment. She is an expert in the areas of codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery. She teaches people how to transform their lives through the use of many powerful healing, recovery, and ascension modalities. She does her best work with those who identify as being highly empathic, as well as those who have been cast as the family scapegoat. She is on the planet to support awakening Light Leaders to step into their personal power, divine purpose, and mission.
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• What Your SILENCE Mean...
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[@TamieMJoyce]

Hey Friends! Thanks for watching!! If this resonated with you, you'll want to sign up for the FREE WEBCLASS I'm offering on how to heal and recover from codependency and narcissistic abuse so you NEVER fall prey to emotional manipulation and psychological abuse ever again! HERE'S THE LINK: www.tamiem.info/freeclass

[@thereallisa1]

If you dont make time to study and heal, you will lose.​@@Goonapachamoothoo

[@starlitestarbright514]

I have 3 brothers and a son....I can't take it anymore ! It must stop ! I live my life taking care of my mom. I don't even think of them.

[@denisegriffiths5948]

Your advice to the victims is priceless. Thank you

[@bobbellendovich6825]

"When you go silent, prepare to be smeared." Yep.

[@starlitestarbright514]

I am the talk of the town and I don't care anymore.

[@DTia88]

​@@starlitestarbright514donated a kidney to my fiance. We lived with his n-mother at the time, so post surgery I was discharged before my fiance and had to return to the house alone with the narc. I was in pain, drugged out of my head while I overheard a phone call she had on speaker, where her friend asked her if I was speaking to her yet.... Yeah, god knows what she has been telling everyone about me. She made a phone call to my fiance while we were both still in hospital as well, starting off with the words "I know you think I don't like her..." That's the confession right there.

[@singstreetcar5881]

So true

[@gogi682]

See, I'm losing my mind but for the sake of the smear to my grown children and grand children, I have nothing else I care about, I have to stay....and he knows this and can hurt me all he wants.@@starlitestarbright514

[@mirandacash5689]

According to my narc mother, I am both a nazi and a communist. In reality, I am neither.

[@anonymousavatar6144]

I practice silence to protect myself; not to hurt them. There is just no point for any conversation. It’s useless. 😶🤐

[@BeachPeach2010]

The first sight of that smirk is something that is not easily forgotten.

[@wadedyam]

How true. In the book The body keeps the score they quote Charles Darwin "When a man sneers or snarls at another, is the corner of the canine tooth raised raised on the side facing the man whom he addresses?" Something to think about! (Book is not particularly relevant to Narcissm)

[@JoniPreston55]

My husband has snarled and growled at me like a dog. I believe it’s demonic possession but I like the commentary.

[@FindYourFree]

my god

[@zengreen7]

They always smile when they successfully irk you.

[@gogi682]

Yes!! The smile!! When they know they are getting to you, hurting you, trying to anger you, that smile, (and gaslights the thing he does as is makes me enragred) then the blame for me....what do I do, just say "oh you are right that never was said, or happened" and carry on with what I'm doing for myself" the nightmare I've been dealing with for years, gonna go out, do my hobbies, not cry, not remind him about what he has done to me, see what happens. This will not be easy!@@zengreen7

[@angiep10]

I had a narcissist mother. The only thing that worked was when I went completely silent. I had to ignore everything she did. I did not respond to anything and that was one of the best things I ever did.

[@amandamiller8360]

My mother is a narcissist also. The last time she tried her shit with me, she was trying to get me to let my teenage daughter live there. When she didn't get her way, (at that moment I was waiting for law enforcement to arrive), she began calling my two sons horrible names and accusing them of atrocious things. I knew she was grasping at anything she could to get me to respond and it didn't work, I sat there facing away from her completely silent and unmoving. She has since complained profusely to everyone in the family how much a terrible monster I am and I am punishing her amd she didn't do anything.

[@FabulousCucumber-ip9hu]

They're crazy people. You can't engage. Just run.

[@springboard1994]

One of the worst things about a relationship with a narc is: Because of the mirroring & the love bombing, the trust level feels off the charts. So you share deeply personal things about yourself you maybe never told anybody else. Or only share with few. You let them in on your weaknesses, your fears.. Then you learn that you shared your inner self with the most calculating, emotionally irresponsible creature -- an enemy-- that you could ever have confided in. Its devastating. It SUCKS. 😑

[@pollytopps3540]

Yes it is! And i did exactly that.

[@Colemanian91]

Going through it right now

[@springboard1994]

@@StaceyMcCormack-ki3oe Almost always 😣. And expect that some of it will be blabbed to others, especially to new supply.

[@springboard1994]

Was porn one of your boundaries because he was too obsessed with it?

[@EYE_GOTCHA]

I finally went completely no-contact with my covert mother and overt older sister, just last month. It is the BEST FEELING, and my lifelong intestinal issues are slowly going away. I know that Mommie D and Sissy are going nuts and driving each other crazy (crazier, actually), too, because they only have each other, now, for “supply”. 😊

[@Am-cz4qg]

I had the same situation with my overt mother and sociopath sister. I remember her screamimg out that if I left she wasn't going to be my mom's punching bag. At the time I thought her saying that was kind of odd since I would never say something like that. Now I see they both know they need a scapegoat if there is any chance of them getting along since they are both tantrum throwing demonic monsters. I have no idea how they're getting along nowadays and don't care. Although if I had to guess its not pretty!

[@GuitarMatt]

Usually it's the younger sibling that's the scapegoat and the older one that's golden child. Ironic that my EX-sister was always the one complained about my mom without me even bringing up anything negative about her when I was a kid. Yet at the end of the day, the apple didn't fall far from the tree on that one. It's a blessing in disguise and my younger brother and my older brother decided to follow her lead and we no longer speak. I just turned 50 but I had reservations about the one sided relationship I had with both over the years. Their collective smear campaign over the years (before I saw for what it really) that used to look like organic one-off situations I saw eventually was something that was always there from day one Me, the SCAPEGOAT, eventually became THE ESCAPE GOAT! Thankfully I no longer have to deal with the feelings of cognitive dissonance that I had before the mask came off of the other two siblings (or EX-siblings i mean) too. Once you see them without the mask one too many times, it reminds me of that song Pilgrimage* *I don't know what the hell Michael Stipe is actually singing about and this old classic but actually it reminds me of the negative feelings I had going back home during the holidays at the end before I finally went NO CONTACT with my FOO:: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWbdZJKFdqh6jposi=o4cXNirfZJtFd1vJ

[@oudonbail]

Do you not think the fact you are conscious and enjoy the fact you are amking them "go nuts" means you are a narcissist too? You should never cut loves ones off , especially if they have mental illness like personality traits. And if you did have to cut them off from safety or what not, a normal person would be devastated to lose a person they loved

[@oudonbail]

@@ZeezArcade can you not see what i am saying ? if you are cutting them off to make them suffer and you also enjoy thinking about their suffering then you are also sick

[@Am-cz4qg]

nah....

[@charlienelson2002]

Silence is a superpower. Give silence in abundance. The narcissist is a cowardly, weak, nothing. I'd rather talk to dust particles or be in a flash flood.

[@lerightmerightpeople3165]

😂😂😂

[@jesuswarrior6468]

So that was you floating down the river.... Yeah f..K em

[@Imblessed2day]

Lmbo!!!

[@shannonellis391]

Spot on. I had to go silent. Got a protective order and called police every time he contacted me. Then, he started having his family harrass me. I called cops on them,too,to stop the harassment. My neighbors called cops when he came to my house and i was gone. It worked. He married the side chick immediately and quit abusing and contacting me. He literally replaced me,since i refused to be a victim anymore. I only saw him in court after that. After 7 years...this finally worked. I am free and happy. 🎉

[@palapalak.8907]

Thank God.

[@FabulousCucumber-ip9hu]

Amazing 🤩 He didn't know who he was messing with

[@plr7806]

It took me 23 yrs to realize my husband was a narcissist. Before then, I took all the attributes as singular issues (thinking I could work through them). Once I realized it was a collection of issues (narcissism) I’ve chosen the silent treatment and it has completely saved me. Can’t go full no contact yet - but hopefully soon.

[@canadianlady777]

You sound just like me…I too was 23 years with a husband who insinuated the trouble was all with me…Unfortunately he passed away from covid vaccine injury just before I was going to leave him…I am struggling to get back to where I was when he and I met….I like myself again…

[@billie505reed]

How long did he respond to the silent treatment? My husband is big on passive-aggressive, and he's been increasing that more and more. I'm looking forward to the day when I can have some peace. Like you, I can't go full no contact yet... God willing, soon. Thank you!

[@plr7806]

@@billie505reed it took a couple months for him to find a new supply. He now gets his supply directly from his family and friends which is fine with me. For the silent treatment is more about protecting my own peace than worrying about how he responds to it. Honestly I no longer give his reaction much thought. I’m already walking away from him before he can respond. Sending good vibes and peace your way.

[@AnEmptyNest]

I’ll pray for you, as you pray for me Sister! 💛

[@AAXS-op1vo]

@@canadianlady777you have been freed, sweetheart. Trust me . . . and rejoice.

[@boonie3]

I'll never forget that smirk when I'd open myself up and tell her that her silent treatment and other psycological abuse was hurtful. Felt like it was all a game for her and she knew exactly what she was doing.

[@mariasharminsara1852]

OH MY GOD..I Can't believe my eyes!!I feel like crying..This comment right here made me feel i am not confused at all!!He really was a narcissist..I thought i was the only one seeing that smirk when i him about how he hurt me!!I always knew it was a red flag but I never knew till now I really was in a relationship with a narcissist!!That's why i went throught so freaking much in that relationship and it took me so much long to get myself together!!

[@b.d.9434]

The silence works. I was grey rock for years when she still had visitation and that didn't slow her down very much. As soon as my youngest son was 18, I went completely silent, blocked her on phone, etc. and it has been great.

[@FindYourFree]

phew

[@MrANTBIG]

i have 12 more years to deal with this narc how did you do it

[@spaceparrot8702]

Sad that you had to go through all that horrible crap. At least she didn't get custody, becuase that way she would have manipulated and destroyed your child mentally.

[@TheMary0831]

I already went silent (for the 3d and final time) with a younger sister narcissist. It's great. And I don't talk about her to other siblings (well, except one who also has been abused by her). If a narc isn't a family member, they tend to leave me alone these days (talking about coworkers especially) because they know I spot them. I don't give them any energy and stay out of their orbit while giving all my attention to others. That keeps them at arms' length. I enjoy your videos.

[@999TopG]

I feel your pain❤

[@voiletwhitehorse]

3rd time with my younger sister,I've pulled the plug ,had enough

[@monikatomic8938]

How did your parents react? And other siblings? I have a similair situation, but it’s my cousin who i grew up with. Now my aunt is texting my mom to ask what happened..

[@TheMary0831]

@@monikatomic8938 Well, I'm 60. So it's a bit easier. My siblings live all over the US (there are 8 of us) and my mom doesn't pull the same stuff she used to because she's super old. My dad died in 2011. My siblings have all been injured by the narc at least once, but most keep getting hoovered back in. So while they don't outright complain about her, they also won't defend her. But it has split us for sure, because they don't get it and continue to do the codependent sucker behavior, which I don't any more. We're not that close as a result of years of most not working on their childhood trauma, so there's that as well.

[@TheMary0831]

@@voiletwhitehorse You'll be better for it. It's so peaceful not having to wonder what they are going to pull next.

[@haydenholden1367]

I did exactly that to my toxic:narcissistic dad. It’s now been 52 months. My whole life got better. My house is organized & clean now. I have more friends, am closer to other loving relatives that he unnecessarily hated. My life is beautiful without him in it!! I recommend PERMANENT SILENCE to stop the abuse & pain,

[@thebackstreetphilosopher9587]

This is my older sister. She always got off on triggering me. She would always smirk. I finally went no contact with her after nearly six decades of her cruel treatment. Of course, she’s got other family members thinking I’m just awful for it. I’ve lost all respect for all of them.

[@EmpressAngelE]

My story but I’m at peace

[@carolzappa1804]

Sounds like my big sis too. Who knows the trash she has said about me. I used to care what the rest of my family thought about me. It used to bother me that they didn't really know me, nor the truth about me. Been there done that. No thanks. Byeeee to all of them. Except for my one bro...who can see through all the garbage.

[@gogi682]

OMG the smirks/snarks, to get you angry, to cause a fight....Makes you crazy.@@carolzappa1804

[@MargaretHerman-nt9sm]

I can relate.

[@theoutside8346]

I went no contact more than a year ago. Gradually increased my silence, not to punish him but because I was so hurt that with each day I had less and less to say. And then one day I just stopped saying anything at all and left. There were no goodbyes, no pointing fingers, no tantrums. I was empty, I felt so empty and destroyed that I had nothing more to say. It took me a while but slowly I started going back to do and enjoy my hobbies, to focus on me and what I love. He's still driving around my house, I see him sometimes when he passes but I want nothing to do with him anymore. He's a cardboard cut-out of a human shape that has nothing behind it and it's glued to the ground with a black slimy substance made of hatred and resentment. If I get to close that slimy substance will start crawling all over me and suck my energy to give artificial life to that cardboard cut-out.

[@victoryamartin9773]

Great insight and description!

[@zengreen7]

Learn to spot them early.

[@leiatravels]

Great description!

[@pollytopps3540]

Well Spoken!

[@palapalak.8907]

Exactly

[@wendyclark387]

"Co-Dependant Amnesia"... Great term that perfectly describes it!!

[@amandamillington8308]

I've gone silent on my narcissist daughter who's 30 since october 31st 2023 I am in peace I had to as she made me so sick. I feel so much better but I'm struggling as she is my daughter but I don't miss the bullying and abuse its a hard pill to swallow. I need to stay strong for my own well-being

[@ginger6582]

You are not alone.

[@zenaidasrodriguez3076]

I was also always in Prayer while being silent and it does or did work for me 🙏

[@TrudyPatootie]

*Absolutely Zena...I say the Serenity Prayer over and over..."God Grant me the* *Serenity to accept the things that I can NOT change (Narc) the Courage to* *change the things I can (ME cutting them off) and the Wisdom to know the* *difference. Amen!* 🙏💖💥 *So much power in prayer!* 💥💥

[@chrissemenko628]

Time to do this. Cheers. Christi

[@kendradamm1428]

Praying 🙏🏻

[@Mykitchenchanne1]

I’m only on day 4. But the more I listen to videos like these, I know I’ll eventually heal

[@Bleepbloopblarp]

I’m on day 4 too. Don’t ever look back, we can do this ❤

[@ChaChaWitYa]

Rooting for you both

[@YoliOlivia]

Keep going! Always choose YOU. I’m 7 months so I’ve been at day 4 and know how difficult it is. But you can do it. Will be so worth it!

[@Bleepbloopblarp]

@@ChaChaWitYa @YoliOlivia Thank you both for the support! ♥️

[@kateg7298]

I have a 38 year old stepdaughter who is a narcissist/rage disordered/oppositional-defiant. I've been no contact for over 4 years now. It helps me think of her as an angry dog who bites. You can't reason with them, they don't care how you feel, you can't give them positive attention and make it better and they're never going to love or respect you. They will bite you. Every time. Back away and keep your voice down. Don't provoke them and don't try to dominate them. Just get very, very far away. If you're ever tempted to go back and give them another chance - remember that they bite.

[@FabulousCucumber-ip9hu]

Your silence is the last word 🏆

[@selfmadedimez783]

At this point I just need to go far far away from people who have the title as my “family” these past few years I’ve endured so much disrespect and psychological trauma/limitations just because I don’t ignore certain shit to keep the peace. Im at the point where I can’t look at these people as family. Im ready to be done once an for all.

[@sal8815]

I'm married 42 years to a covert, communal, Christian narc. Figured it out 8 years ago. Trying to "stay well" because of financial reasons and grandkids. The part where you said we pick people who match our trauma is spot on. My narc really believes he is a good guy and doesn't talk about me to others or yell. He's more the silent treatment type. He just has no sense of self. Mirrors me a lot, nobody home upstairs but quietly passive aggressive if corrected. I'm trying to heal while staying in it. It's tough. I had a cruel overt narc adoptive mother so no surprise why I married who I did.

[@chrisballina8855]

It took me 27 years of being married to a covert narcissist to figure out what was going on, its literally Satan working through the closest person to you.

[@nicoleowens2318]

I can relate, but I had 2 parents, a sister, a husband and best friend as narcisissists. To be honest, I don't think there's a way to get better while being subjected to that. No matter how difficult it is, I'd leave. My daughter has thanked me 8 years after leaving for doing so. I could barely parent her under those circumstances, it drains you of who you are and everything you love and dream. It's too toxic. It was hard at first, I even had to take my then-toddler to a domestic shelter, count change to buy food and we even were without power for a month and a half! The struggle would have been much worse with him around. It's better to be broke and struggle than be with someone who repeatedly hurts and disregards you. Leaving him might have been the most important decision of my life. I hope you find the strength to leave one day soon. You deserve to have a life free of someone else's miserable moods.

[@VestaVisions]

Sounds more like avoidant attachment style which is often similar but not the same

[@reneegardner2286]

my covert somatic narcissist has a father who fits your description to a T, his parents have been married about 25 years, but I believe his mom is likely a covert narcissist herself

[@TrailerHitchRVCenter]

Wow amazing comment. This describes my ex fiance to a T. She didn't yell either. Her weapon of choice was silence.

[@KENDOGGSEA]

Been silent for four days. Gonna get in touch my Father above and all will be well. I trust him.🙏😎🙏

[@DANNYTHEFROG123]

I'm 2 days in never been happier

[@dalleeftz]

Definitely go silent! Our narcissist neighbor accused us on our neighborhood Whatsapp chat of calling the police on them. (We have never done that). She accused us of having cameras pointing into their yard and says she has proof. Again, no! So when she started ranting and raving and bashing us publicly, I stopped trying to defend myself and just went silent. Hard to do, but it really does work!

[@dumbphonemom]

I don’t know the whole context, but this sounds more like paranoid delusion than narcissism. Be careful, she may be going through serious mental illness and that’s very dangerous if she doesn’t seek help.

[@marye1596]

My daughter has already been putting me down for years... but according to her, she's the only one of my 5 kids that sticks up for me. . Lies. I'm done.

[@GuitarMatt]

As a 50-yr old guy, I had an older sister like you described! Even though I was living my own life 2300 miles away ago away from my family of origin--she warned me that she was supposedly the only one who stuck up for me behind my even though I was thinking it's gone and not thinking about that stuff. Guess who the SMEAR CAMPAIGN orchestrator was the last 6:years? Her! It was all because of that SUBHUMAN. Thankfully my older and younger brother followed her lead and I no longer speak to them. Good riddance to the bad garbage that took itself out for me!

[@elainesmith5313]

The greatest revenge and the safest!! Silence is Sincerely "GOLDEN". PEACE AND QUIET AT LAST! THANK YOU

[@DANNYTHEFROG123]

Silence is golden

[@gem7078]

Went FINAL no contact with entire toxic family (except for my adult son) led by narc mother almost a year ago…first week of February 2023. They’re all blocked &/or deleted on my phone now. I’ve moved to a totally new city. Like I’m done done this time 🙌

[@Jen-nr2kw]

I wish you all the best.

[@gem7078]

@@Jen-nr2kw thank you 🙏💜

[@worshipwhilewewait]

TOTAL Truth! I did with someone in My Life about a year ago - gave them the Gift of Silence. About a month later friend came up to Me and asked "what happened? Why You so Happy recently?" When They asked that, I KNEW it was getting OUT of that environment with the Nar-Guy. Even at Home there was a HUGE sense of RELIEF in the air - the PEACE - whew....All that stuff about what they're going to say and do - bottomline, who cares! Im at PEACE and I CANNOT go back! Great HEALTHY advice!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

[@user-gb3zg4dq4q]

I was with one for 2 and and a half years then all the sudden he wanted a break and suddenly he was back with his ex not for the sex but for her to perform on him I guess you would call it I caught him in two lies he denied it and now he's giving me the silent treatment so I gave it to him and he's not giving me any trouble I just want to know if I keep this up will it get rid of him cuz I cannot go back the minute he called me after this 4 1/2 month break I started getting anxious and anxiety and just awful and I told him I had moved on and I don't want nothing more to do with them so he's not talking to me anymore and that's fine so how long do you think it will take to give him time to move on

[@pamelasmith241]

How you do that when you live in the same house??

[@sarit2023]

Words by words! Stay away from toxic people!!!!

[@umadox41]

🤯 "The smear campaign is all the narcissist has left when you go silent on them". Truer words were never said. Going through this now. Thank you for this 💡 moment. I needed that reminder.

[@chrisballina8855]

4th week into your program. As one of probably the few men that do it. We too can be the victim of destructive narcissists, not even realizing it. This stuff works for men too! Thanks Tamie!!

[@nicoleowens2318]

My mother, best friend (female) and sister were all hardcore narcissists. I watched them ruin man after man and discard them without any regard for the men, so I know what you say is true. I love that you're man enough to admit this. I hope you receive healing in every way soon. We need our men to be happy and together. I wish you the absolute best in life.

[@digidrum2003]

Yes sir. My narc ex wife left me 8 months ago for a twice divorced dude....I haven't spoken to her for almost 1 month now....I'm not gonna lie....I didn't want to,still in love with her,but I have to think about ME now!!!! Good luck to all of the men out there who have been hurt and betrayed.

[@kamalvipul9213]

@@digidrum2003 - Someone won the loto, go cash it and enjoy your life. And do not turn to look back.

[@toomanynarcissistshere2102]

Married daughters of the narcissistic mother, and weak father, they typically marry older men and are easily redirected. Sons are often left with drama and destruction in their lives, a wedge is deliberately stuck between themselves and their wives, and that was the plan. Nobody gets out alive with the toxic person still breathing... Best to find a tall staircase or forget to give them their meds.

[@dirtwhisperer658]

I did it to my so called "best friend" narcissist. We've been friends for almost 40 years. Amazingly I didn't figure out he was a narcissist until about 10 years ago. I mean I knew he was arrogant and selfish but just didn't put a name to it. I completely ghosted him after he made a really terrible comment about my wife. Social media and all chat, I went no contact. 6 months later I got a message from him out of the blue. He said "I don't know what I did but is this the end of our friendship.?" I told him exactly what he did and he claimed he didn't remember any of it. Never apologized either. Said he was probably in a bad mood that day. I can't even imagine being married to one of these people. Another thing a narcissist can't stand is sick people. They don't want to hear about it and they don't want to help. Because they have zero empathy and if you are sick you are no use to them. What they use us for is stoking their ego and they love to think they are smart and manipulating you.

[@graveyardghost2603]

When I first went silent on my narc sister, I could tell she was very confused. But it left me in peace, bc silence really works! Thanks Tamie, i am learning wonderful skills from your videos :)

[@TamieMJoyce]

You're welcome! I'm glad my videos are helpful! 💕

[@mirandacash5689]

I moved 3k mi away from my narc parents and flying monkey family members 9 years ago and somehow I'm still the cause of all their life problems. It must be my superpower lol

[@dgvfsa66]

I went NC with my narc sister. Was interesting to see who became flying monkeys and who chose to believe her pathological lies. The only people in my life now are the ones that I allow ❤

[@williamsaloka9043]

"Good riddance to bad rubbish" ...Says it all for me!

[@arenee118]

I went no contact with my narc sister. My five other siblings made excuses for her behavior towards me ("She had a hard life.") and scapegoated me. So I went no contact with them as well. That was summer 2020. My Aunt just died and I went to the funeral. My one brother and sister attended. The sister left after the viewing, possibly because I was there. My brother insisted I say "Hi" to him. That was at the viewing. At the church meal after the service, he asked, "Don't you recognize who I am? Don't you know who I am?" I said, "I know who you are. I'm no contact for my mental health." Then I proceeded to engage in conversation with the lady across from me. Apparently, he forgot about the no contact letter or he remembered it and still insisted on contact. So glad I didn't have to deal with the narc sister, although the one that did show up has abused me as well.

[@martyyoung598]

Here’s one someone can explain to me… I went NC on my narc sister about 4 years ago when she broke the last straw with me. Long story, of course, not the point of this post, but we all know why. Anyway, I receive this 500 word letter from her today, out of the blue. She is attempting to extend an olive branch and “patch things up” between us. She writes on and on how I misunderstood, how I was wrong, how I was bad, how I was at fault, etc… but had good news. She had prayed to God and found it in her heart to forgive me so we can put all the bad stuff I did in the past! She is actually living in this upside down reality that is impossible to understand. She’s trying to “win me back” and still can’t refrain from her poisoning put downs. The Twilight Zone has nothing in her!

[@RonnieWisdom]

Tamie, Happy Friday! I have been with you for a few years now and learning from your videos! Young male here in his 20’s. I enjoyed how you explained the spiritual aspect of the narcissists. I’ve always seen the eyes of a narcissist flip when they attempt to trigger someone or feed off of them. The eyes tell it all! Your strength and balance intimidates them! Pain and reactions make them feel alive, which is sick and demonic. I had a guy that I considered my best friend, he would reach out and then not reply for a week when I would reply back. I knew it was about control. When I would go a few hrs with replying, they would freak out and send me more messages. This was a game of power. There were so many other things I saw an experienced. On the outside, he was the perfect guy (job, style, looks) but inside it was pure evil. I believe he sought me out as a friend, because we share many of the same physical qualities and are both successful. My spirit guides gave me a clear message to cut that person off in early 2023. The friendship was not healthy. Once I did that, I felt a clearing and so many blessings began flowing into my life. It has been a year now with no contact! THANK YOU TAMIE!!!

[@TamieMJoyce]

You are so welcome, Ronnie! Well done, Brother!! 😎

[@flyingeaglewoman8682]

Gee sure sounds like you just described the gang out East on a certain plot of land… those criminal gaslighting narcissists seem to think they have the power to control and dominate an entire republic… incredibly abusive. Add in their lapdog cohorts and wowzer… thank you Tami! Excellent as always.

[@lindseyowen5968]

I split From mine for 8 blissful months. He begged for another chance saying he wanted his family back. I fell for it. I let him back for a week and he got me pregnant. Now, while I’m only 8 weeks he is putting me through so much unnecessary stress. I am pro choice put personally couldn’t go through with termination. Now I’m stuck. I have no family, he had made sure I have no friends and because I was left flatlined after my last birth I will have to have a cesarean. So I will need him to look after our son (which in itself worries me because he never wakes up to him). I regret having him back for that week. Please, if you get the chance to escape then don’t ever let them back

[@katiemccormick8846]

I will pray for you and your baby. God bless you!

[@malikholmes5045]

May God be with and protect you and me

[@isabelleg267]

Another enlightening no BS video on narcissistic abusers and their ways. Thank you for breaking it down into bite sized nuggets of wisdom so that more people can free themselves from these energy vampires. You never cease to inspire Tamie ❤️

[@sundara888whelan5]

Right on! ♦️☑️❤️🙋

[@Shivani-Spectrum]

I have chosen to embrace the silence and isolation, finding solace in the ability to focus on myself and my goals. Regaining my strength, I am determined to return to the person I was before encountering my narcissistic husband. I plan to leave this relationship soon.

[@badhabit714]

Have you left yet?

[@Shivani-Spectrum]

@@badhabit714 Yes🙏😊

[@hannahshmulsky7119]

I’m 5 days away from 2 years of silence with my last narcissist 🎉🎉🎉He’s put up several profile pics with some new girl and the only thing I feel is sympathy for the awful journey she’s inevitably going through. I wish I could do something to help her, but I know full well that I’ve been vilified and discredited 😂 She’d never listen to anything I tell her. And I’ve let that go! She probably knows exactly who I am, and she’s welcome to contact me anytime if she needs support. But I will not be reaching out to her, whoever she is. He has zero significance to me whatsoever at this point, and that’s something I feel really proud of. I wish her well, and I reeeeally hope she uses dependable birth control.

[@krislove6171]

Hi. Its 1:01am and i cannot sleep at all. I stumbled upon this video and God am i glad i did. I feel like for my own mental health i need to explain what happened. My 6 year old niece confided in me about how devastated she was about her parents divorce. She said she wanted to drive a car and crash it on the side of the road so her dad would pay attention and be there for her. I was gobsmacked and was at a loss. She said that i didn't know whay it was like to wake up wuth no dad and bawled. I hugged her and shared how my parents were divorced when i was her age. My sister came home and my niece ran out of the house saying i forced her to talk about the divorce which was a total lie. My sister believed her and didn't even give me a chance to explain what happened. Instead she screamed at me. I told her as best i could that my niece needs counseling and she threatened to hit me so hard I'd never get off the floor. She then left in a rage and her kids were sobbing crying for me. Its been about six months now and ive been completely cut off. I am devastated. My parents keep telling me to apologize but i literally did nothing wrong. I don't think my sister is a narcissist but im at a loss. All i did was try to love and comfort my niece and was cut off. I am an empathetic person by nature and am reeling from this. 😢😢😢😢

[@brendastein404]

They are the ones that are in the wrong and not you~ I would feel as you found do but I would go as low contact with all of them and grey rock them!!!! You will understand this better if and when you get away from all the toxicity. Good luck and I send you Love and Light to warm your path~

[@80swoodpanel]

The only two words I've communicated to my immediate family since my epiphany after our last Christmas dinner has been ''No contact'', an e-mail sent to my mother after she sent me a text, called my workplace twice and knocked on my door, all within two hours.

[@allieeverett9017]

Oh that kind of stalking is spooky!

[@folgerscrystal4992]

Hi Tammie! Love your advice. You’re a bad ass! Power to the empath! ❤

[@WillyNillyBaptistBilly]

Nearly 2 months no contact now!

[@TamieMJoyce]

Well done!!

[@metalfacemartinez]

Stick with it! You'll likely feel guilty about it for a while. Took about a year+ for me for it to start going away. Good luck Billy

[@WillyNillyBaptistBilly]

@@metalfacemartinez Thank you sir for saying so. I do have moments where it is hurtful to the spirit; cause I tend to default to going back to the perception that was projected before I knew what the mask was. Or any other facet of NPD for that matter! I invested enough time, effort and resources into it at the outset that once I realized I had been dupped, it was not so simple to hit the reset game over button. To the point where it actually suprised me myself. But once it becomes clear; doing what has to be done (let her go) is the most wise course of action etc. Its just a dam shame thats all.

[@WillyNillyBaptistBilly]

4 months now just turned the camera on today to reflect!kzbin.info/www/bejne/foClh6yqZcRohrcsi=CYZV7mireANRotem@@metalfacemartinez

[@WillyNillyBaptistBilly]

almost 4 months now!! Just did a short video. @@TamieMJoyce kzbin.info/www/bejne/foClh6yqZcRohrcsi=CYZV7mireANRotem

[@borderlineguitarguy]

I've gone silent on my older brother since xmas night. Now he just sits in his room drunk having conversations with himself all night. It's quite disturbing and sad to witness.

[@cocoholmes2465]

I listen to you everyday. Im.going thru this with my niece with me, jealousy and envy, people are now seeing what shes about, ive documented everything very very sly, but i treat her though shes dead now, it works, absolutely pathetic. Shes hiding from me now. She knows im onto her and wont take her BS, but others in the family are seeing this now. Ive done my.homework on every type of narc, im now clued up. Especially on the games shes playing, comical now.Thank you and i continue to watch every single day to keep me on my path to calm cool n collected, no reaction no response ever!!!❤

[@FrostInFreezer]

My narcissistic sister tried forcing a reaction just after christmas and I thought it would provoke her more to write a kind and understanding message back, so I did and that obviously made it much worse for her and she exploded and wanted me to leave her alone. So I did. Blocked her. Happy New Year to me.

[@lindabruns6020]

I am 74 and my narcistic husband is 79. We have been married almost 53 years. He goes nowhere except to the grocery store, is not sociable and will not meet up with his longtime friends or clients. He has always been very controlling. Our middle son has treated me disrespectfully since going through puberty - for over 30 years and he and his family live next door. I get verbal abuse from both my husband and my son. We cannot afford a divorce. My husband actually hit me in front of his doctor over a year ago and the dr pulled me aside and told me to have him arrested, get a protection order, leave and also get help. I talked to my pastor and he suggested joining our church abuse ministry. I did but it was recently discontinued. My husband was verbally abused by his father as a child. My son was loved as much as his brothers. I am stuck. I have gone to therapy over the years but nothing has helped. I am going to try your method of silence and hope it works.

[@jocelyncarr3421]

This is my only child my daughter. We haven’t spoken in 7 years. I’m an empath & when we did see each other she did everything mean to punish me, & told lies about me. I have no family apart from my husband, & he has no family. It’s a tough loss to handle. It makes sense for my peace to not try & have her back in my life. But it’s painful losing her. For my own self respect & health I know she won’t change. It’s a tough one, I still grieve the loss & wish she was a kind person with empathy & love like me. Thank you your videos really help me a lot!

[@maryros3249]

I hear your pain I have a son narcissist like that I spent 30 years to try to make him love me and finally I got confession from him that he never loved me😢

[@Soundpj]

I have similar situation.

[@FindYourFree]

😢

[@sicuro5050]

Have you considered the possibility that you are the narc ?

[@misspeach3755]

@@sicuro5050I've seen so many people claiming to be empaths and full of love to be real bullies. But that's all on their terms only. It's all about control and safety due to their own unhealed trauma. So, what you said was my first idea when I read this comment. (cPTSD symptoms and narcissism can appear to be similar.)

[@diamondonpurpose9145]

Thank you for this 2024 refresher and reminder if you will. Im a God fearing woman and I don't dance with the devil!!! . I refuse and rebuke him and he will flee from me. Your message is spot on!!! Silence silence silence!!!! . They can only hear what you say. They don't know what you think. Whenever you speak to a narc you give them ammo. Stay far away from self serving, selfish, greedy, spiteful and arrogant people. Even if they're family.

[@victoryamartin9773]

True, but they sure believe they know what you think and what motivates you, and they're more than happy to tell you, but it's all a gaslighting projection.

[@diamondonpurpose9145]

@@victoryamartin9773 Precisely. To bait you into arguing and "correcting" them which all equals more ammo smh🤦🏿‍♀️

[@Luckybetta]

I've got ten years no contact with an ex-everything/situationship. 30 years and this person experienced no growth, or lessons learned. True arrested development. Someone very entitled and self absorbed and incredibly lazy. Thought they were so smart, but they were just good at manipulating people. Just a quiet, covert, vulnerable type. A true user and loser, and they bragged about it. They exploited my good heart and my need to help and rescue. Treated my life like a damn revolving door to come and go as they pleased. Whenever they had a crisis, they would bleat a distress call like a baby lamb, and my codependent ass would run there to save the day! I've healed that part of myself, and blown the bridge up. I heard their mother passed recently, whom they were living off of their whole life. She was a beautiful person, but painfully codependent. I'm sure there's someone out there that's willing to adopt a 55 year old homeless leach that can't hold a job, and won't do anything to contribute to your house hold. (Not even cut the grass or shovel the snow!). You just have to pay for everything and do everything while they play video games and eat your food. Free to a good home. I'm sure there will be lines around the block, especially in this economy. 😅. NOT my problem anymore and they're probably crazy and pissed that they can't find their meal ticket/retirement package. Narc free for a decade and loving it! ❤💪🔥

[@tshamiemphaphuli1997]

Doesn’t seem like you have moved on after the 10 years.

[@Luckybetta]

@@tshamiemphaphuli1997 I actually have. It's called sharing your experience so others can relate to or learn from it. This is supposed to be a place for healing and learning here. The only reason I even knew about his mother is he went looking for me at my old job, and an old coworker let me know some person was asking around for me, and that it was weird and stalkerish. I didn't hear from a flying monkey. I wasn't snooping or checking up on ex narc. I had left that job with no forwarding information, so no one knew where I had gone. I'm happily living my life. That dumpster fire is someone else's problem. God bless.

[@victoryamartin9773]

Oh wow, I think they have moved into my house! Unwilling to pay more than $45/year for utilities and no rent. No job, they spend their waking hours screaming for money on the phone to every government agency. He made his annual contribution this month, and now he's screaming at me for a receipt. I'm not giving him anything any more. I hope my silence will make them leave, but they are just way too comfortable in my home with me paying all the bills.

[@misst1928]

I broke up with my ex by getting a DVO. When we went to court he was so smug, he told a friend of his I wouldn't get it because I loved him, the thing was at the time I hated him far more than I had loved him. It's nice to know it caused him pain when I went completely silent and blocked him everywhere.

[@Sam-pl3yd]

Hia Tamie 💕yes when I go silent I feel so much better now they aren’t even getting through my door anymore! I am done with all there abuse! I am done ✔️ 🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@mickeymousey1239]

Love your hair so pretty. I recetly got rid of a narccist friend; she was constantly in my face with her grandiose lifestyle and blah blah blah you get the point. Nohting i was doing or anything i said mattered to her. I thought she was funny, witty and entertaining at first......as time went on i got tired of her constant bragging, her emotional ups and downs (boozy marriage and son, higher than thou husband) and one day i decided to ignore her. She would leave me messages on fb obviously upset that i wasnt falling into her 'trap". I then blocked her for two weeks. I unblocked her to see if she missed me or cared about me. Not even, i got criticized, insulted, and the final words "Your dead to me" hit me hard. I blocked her for good that was two weeks ago.. I was so hurt and upset by her hate and drama but now i am feeling better and working on "ME". Silence is Golden is the truth. I dont' care how she is what she is doing. I am finally finding myself again. Thanks for this very informative video.

[@GuitarMatt]

I, as a 50 year old guy, got rid of a male friend like this somewhat recently. It's funny seeing the narcissistic RAGE ATTACK when they can't trap us into playing the Mini-Me inferior friend role that they are trying to sneak us into. NO CONTACT CURES ALL! The hilarious thing about that little dismissive letter she emailed to you was how it was so obvious that she was just hoping that you would just go back to the box she was hoping trapping you into out of some undue GUILT TRIP of hers

[@wheeeeeha]

I've felt and done much better ever since going no contact with my abusive narcissist filled family. I have no idea what's going on in that dysfunctional group. My armor is contempt.

[@kathyjackson144]

Totally understand. My question is what if they believe that I am the Narcissist & are believing they're treating me as the Narcissist....no contact, grey rock....and she's my only child. Highly challenging.

[@victoryamartin9773]

Saves you from having to do it! Enjoy the silence.

[@naowright9308]

Your videos really helped me because your description of the corvert narcissist was closest to the description of what was happening to me. It has helped me find out why nothing I ever did worked or helped. Thank you for helping me get clarity.

[@maryros3249]

In Psychiatry world it is narcissistic personality disorder these people considered to be sick I completely disagree with this statement because these people are evil and when I see these people as a evil help me defend and protect myself give me a clarity if I see this people as a sick I immediately have compassion it is very important for me to identify and clearly Define this type of individual and the most important part evil is not treatable

[@wadesnyder6871]

agree

[@barbarasitton2880]

I know this person to the T. It helps to be re enforced to what is going on. Thank you for the truth.❤️

[@keemee2012]

Thank you for the light you shine on destructive narcissist. It's very helpful. May peace, well-being, and favor be with you and yours!

[@deborahbloem1325]

Thanks again Tamie! Learn so much from you each time! And love your facial expressions when you are making something clear.

[@nicholasvallas6029]

I am 63 years old, your message reinforced a conclusion It took me a lifetime to learn. Your video was extremely helpful in that it reinforced the conclusion I had already come to believe. You are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO on the money. Maybe a few empaths out there can learn this valuable lesson much sooner in life than I did. Thanks for the vid. Best anti Narc vid I have ever seen. BRAVO!

[@felicitybywater8012]

Don't beat yourself up. My mother never learnt. He blocked her access to the 2nd round of chemo and she died.

[@duece5c]

Tamie, THANK YOU for NOT sugar coating the reality of these blood sucking vultures.🙏🙏🙏🙏✨ I watch a lot of narc videos, and you are one of the BEST in stating it like it is, in respect to these type of people. You are also so super funny and I love you for being so blunt and empowering!!! You are a breath of fresh air!!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!! THANKYOU!!! 💙🙏✨💙✨🙏💙

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Thank you for your great analysis about what the power of silence is and brilliant advice how to regain our power Tamie ❤ Silence is our best protection against narcissistic abuse 😊 God bless you❤

[@bonnyblacksheep]

OMG what you said about amnesia hit hard! SO TRUE!! thanks again for creating this content, it has been super helpful.

[@jophiel9120]

Just wanted to add that right before the smear campaign they will act hurt and play the victim to get you speak and feel sry for them and as an empath you will have to restrain yourself from trying to help, I know it’s hard but if you don’t they go right back on the attack

[@richardcavallo9850]

Spot on advise! I am out of the game and never defending the truth!

[@francophiledawg9059]

Great video. I’ve been hamstrung in the past by the fear of the narcissist’s smear campaign behind my back. Thanks for including that aspect in the video. I can now move forward, ignore the narcissist (ex-friend) trying doggedly to Hoover me after 15 years of no contact. So far, I’ve ignored her and I know it’s a matter of time before she realizes I’m not interested and she will try to destroy me behind my back. (One of the reasons I dropped her as a friend was her vicious gossip about people). Going to continue ignoring/gray rocking and let the chips fall where they may. (PS She has an agenda and re-friending me gets her closer to it. I see right through her)

[@Bootchie2023]

Going no contact, grey-rocking and cutting off supply, attention, and all other physical, emotional and mental, engagement, are the best things, I've ever done.

[@felicitybywater8012]

Yeah, I knew that after I left he'd smear me even more than he already had. And I still miss the normals in my family but I had spent the 1st 17 years of my life in that vicious hell-hole and the only other way out was in a box so I left. It was the only sane choice.

[@NikkiMarie4130]

It creates severe stalking and continued harassment!

[@victoryamartin9773]

Thanks for the warning.

[@g.marion5888]

A+ video, Tamie. Thanks for the education and empowerment you provide.

[@denisemoore9163]

Thank you for all that great advice 👍

[@ninjacrypt5795]

Found this is absolutely the truth, organically came to this conclusion, thanks for the affirmation 💪👍

[@gabrielleaumont3971]

Not mincing words. Refreshingly to the point. Thanks.

[@havingafloat]

Excellent vid! I found you last year just after going no contact with a horrible narc mother who constantly tried to undermine my life. Her and her flying monkeys have no idea where we live now and are blocked on everything. Its taken me months to heal but my God it was the best decision I've ever made. Thank you for reinforcing that i did the right thing ❤

[@Chrisb4jc]

Thank you so very much I’m in the process of doing this. I’ve already put up my boundaries and made it clear, and I am not allowing myself to be subject and have chosen not to react, but will stay silent or walk away. I appreciate your advice very much.

[@lorimchair2190]

Thank you. Great advice! Silence is Golden as they say, and my life is much more peaceful and happy.

[@rolandberendonck3900]

Wow! You're looking good Tamie!

[@wfsmithiv51]

100% truth. Recognize they need you more than the other way around

[@labridgers8264]

I moved far away for 30 years. I had lots of guilt and missed my family; not being able to have a family of my own the isolation is almost worse than the abuse. How can I possibly walk away permanently when my parents are aging and I know I couldnt live with myself? Im SIXTY. I was happier away but felt empty without anyone to call 'family'. I needed their support after suffering the consequences and procedures of infertility. They could only support my siblings who all had children. Nothing has changed and Im out of real options. All I can do is think about my next life and how I will choose more loving and supportive parents, who dont blame me for being molested.

[@victoryamartin9773]

I know all about that loneliness. When you get tempted to reconnect, remember that nobody's home. Remember the abuse. Remember the times they weren't there for you. Remember the loneliness you suffered being with them. It's where the loneliness you're suffering now came from. You at least have a chance to begin healing by being away from them. Going back will only restart the toxic injuries.

[@cynthiaholtmeyer5672]

Why is it so hard to go silent? It breaks my heart. I love him so very much.

[@BillyLintzenich-wf7sk]

Me too cynthia. It was easy when i did a no contact for 5 weeks last sept, but once i broke it then things got worse. She met another guy 2 weeks into my 5 week no contact. I feel miserable because i lost her but rather lost what i thought we had. She never loved me in the first place yet i still love her. She even filed then dropped false assualt charges on me. I never laid a hand on her. Ever. How can you do that to someone if you love them? That was in oct 2023. Its jan 2024 now and i still love her. She lives 1200 miles from me. She gaslit me. In short mindf**ked me.

[@Bleepbloopblarp]

I know how you feel. I have to keep reminding myself over and over that it’s not actually HIM I love, it’s the fantasy he sold me during the love bombing phase. That version of him doesn’t really exist, it was all a con. Still hurts like hell though 💔

[@tundrawomansays694]

What you “love” is the *illusion* of this person you’ve created. Just as you’ve created this entity you can also destroy this illusion with *reality.* Believe yourself and your experiences. What they call “love” is merely possession. What you call “love” is codependency. This is a “you” problem, my friend and only you can choose to allow someone else to continue to cause you pain-or not: Your choice. Choose carefully. This is where the rubber hits the road.

[@mylegacytransformed]

& do you love yourself more? Where’s your own worth? One must love themselves enough to honor their own peace in order to rid themselves of toxic relationships

[@felicitybywater8012]

You don't love them. You love who they pretended to be. There's a real person out there for you who is genuinely all they pretended to be ❤

[@FadeToBlackLLC]

I could go on for days about how my EX wife acted as mentioned in this video for years. I tell myself not to fall into her trap but information like this really helps. It does no good trying to reason or waste time trying to talk with these types of people. I’m glad our kids are older because I can’t stand even talking with her. Very good information.

[@jbuntine1255]

Thank you Tamie Wish l new all of this more than 20yrs ago.

[@oceanelf2512]

Energy vampires! That's exactly it! My ex-friend sapped my energy for four years.

[@MimiReese220]

Luv it!👏❤️👍5 yrs no contact

[@Gigi-qm2oy]

Absolutely brilliant advice! 100% spot on.

[@joannegriggs8865]

You are very good! You hit it all right on the head!!

[@aisharedux781]

This was all so perfectly put! 🤯

[@sallyarrison9726]

Yes!! Thankyou it's working for me❤❤

[@karenstanislaw8912]

Right on.

[@queenb5411]

Amazing class. Love!

[@Divergent960]

Brilliant video and describes a situation I know of with online people exactly.

[@judithcarrillo3157]

You have helped me so much!!! Last year this time I was in such a different place. Drama free. I know smear campaign has been going on at different levels... And I don't care. I did take the bate in March/caught myself and the Grey Rock was indeed reinforced. Thank you!!!

[@judithcarrillo3157]

Today I am drama free! Last year 2022 was hell. So last year this time I found you and implied grey rock. It was so hard I am such a people pleaser and like to help educate and dispense information. So I had to go against my empathic nature to help. Thank you so much for your encouragement and your points and I agree with the demonic. I was working on two fronts. My sister... And my son's girlfriend. Even though the 2 have NO friendship are any reason to relate. You guessed it...THEY TEAMED UP. But today I am free. I could not relieve the lengths they went to and trying to elicit others. blocking on the phone, email, returning mail unread. It worked. Thank you. I did lose a sister(which was actually not a loss at all) but sadly I lost a son who is high functioning autistic. BUT I had to. The girlfriend is a vampire of the worst level. Thank you, thank you. I'm greatful for your straight talk.

[@judithcarrillo3157]

I just watch your talk on what happens when you go no contact. I've been 2 years out with my autistic son and his very clever malignant narcissist. She played the long game. She had our whole family fooled for 18 months before she made her a drastic switch and the snake struck! Well I had to do hard job of protecting myself financially, emotionally, physically. Well the sting and heartbreak of loosing my gullible dependent son all crises and trauma that this abusive women caused. I had to go Strick NO CONTACT and lost my son. A)Now that I'm thinking clearer and less reactive b) just watched your video on what happens after no contact.C) I noticed your tracking smear campaign can again happen. This woman is revengeful and dangerous. I'm firm in my resolve and have some very firm strong support on this. D) Im thinking I might get blindsided again. Thinking it's a good time to take your class now that I'm not raw and be prepared for a future assault.