When a man says he’s not ready for a relationship… believe him

[@CuratedVibes]

The older I get, I look back and realize it was me who broke my own heart expecting everything while receiving nothing.

[@Faithful_inspiration150]

This comment!!! Yaas

[@chanellaugustine7341]

Yes yes I am truly learning this now and getting out now as best as I can may the universe forgive me and forgive myself for trying to think hurting them back will do me good but it doesn’t 😂😂😂😂

[@ladyyuni218]

Exactly!!! I CHOSE them…AND…CHOSE to stay when I saw it wasn’t working!!! I have learned people [MEN] are who they are and I can NOT change ANYONE, except myself with CHRIST’s assistance!!! Since then I am “friendly and respectful” with everyone “outside” my personal space, but will ONLY let the “man” in that is a FIT, and wants to be with ME above all others!!! ❤

[@r.m.90]

Yeah, that's your first mistake expecting something from a male. They put themselves first-always and ONLY do things if it benefits them somehow.

[@valyuen915]

This is me now 💔💔💔🥺

[@livvyo2123]

When a man tells you who he is BELIEVE HIM. Never think you are more special than the women he has already used and discarded.

[@QueenUglyDuckling]

Facts 💯

[@EdenSophia118]

Amen.

[@venusspacey9685]

that's dumb. you can actually build yourself so that he sees more value in you. if you leave, you just like the women before him. women take no accountability. if he's not ready for a relationship and yall fxcking, when go out somewhere, ask "can I go." even if he says no, you'll be on his mind. you not doing this to manipulate, you doing this for the rest of your life with him and you 2 family. if he isn't ready for a relationship and playing the field, then that means it hasn't been a woman to prove him wrong. if he smashing other men wives, gfs, and single women, why would he commit to you if you aren't presenting anything of value?

[@livvyo2123]

@Venus Spacey All that playing about and maybe babying is fine if it's your thing. You sound like you don't know how to spot a fakester. I have no patience to be fixing grown people when it comes to relationships. If a guy tells me he's not ready for a relationship, my first question is why then has he approached me, and why is he not away working on himself until he becomes ready. I would also take it that he's asking for relationship benefits with no strings and is really asking if that's okay with me. It certainly is not. It's easier than you think to unknowingly be giving free "relationship training courses" only for him to benefit someone else with the "experience" and growth he gained while faking it with you until what he really wants comes along. It is what it is but for me those guys can keep walking. Don't know about you but I'm not a charity.

[@QueenUglyDuckling]

@@venusspacey9685 "...you can actually 'build' yourself so that he sees more value in you...women take no accountability" 🤔❓🤔❓🤔❓ If there is ever a dumb comment, it was this comment by you. Exactly in what way shape, form or fashion can a female "build value" with herself IN ORDER to "MAKE" a male SEE value in her 🤔❓ Particularly, how do you figure he "sees value" in a female if all that it is between him & that female is sex 🤔❓ Accountability. I'm all for that. However, where is the accountability where the males are concerned? I.o.w.? If dude is claiming he isn't ready for a relationship, ok, that is forthcoming. However? If all that he is "ready" (as most males are) for is sex, where is the accountability IN HIM STATING "I'm not ready for a partnership, but, I won't lie , I stay ready for engaging in sex." ??? Would that not be a form of accountability on his part? That way, that female cam decide for herself whether to rock with him or not. People cannot be forced to see value in a person, Venus Spacey. Either they see it or they don't. What I know about the male species? To them, if it's just about sex with a female, while at same time he "isn't ready for a (romantic) relationship," the last thing he is thinking of is value where a female is Concerned. A female cannot sex her way to VALUE as far as a man goes in case you didn't know.

[@Jenjenn1111]

Exactly…when a man tells you he is not ready for a relationship and you proceed…you are only hurting yourself!

[@tinaleigh3273]

Shoot, they'll tell you their ready & still waste your time! 🥴

[@childlikefaithfilms]

Watch how they act not just what they say. And tell a guy you don't want premarital sex, you'll weed out the folks who aren't serious.

[@luckie6682]

That's why you smile walk away silently and gracefully, keep it moving and go do you , love will come trust and believe, Amen

[@daniaddi]

Listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth. No actions necessary in that case. Either he’s not ready for a relationship at all or he’s not ready to be with you, now or ever.

[@DNS0_]

“When a person tells you who they are, believe them.” If a person says, on the first date, that they’re an asshole/bitch, they are an asshole/bitch.

[@livvyo2123]

Exactly...even though he's "not ready" he's still approaching to try to get relationship freebies at the woman's expense, think about what sort of man that makes him . good and ready to take what he can get but not ready give anything back. It would be a mistake to harbour secret hopes for better cos he's made his intentions very clear. For me, he can keep walking.

[@inbornwanderlust1076]

@@livvyo2123 yesssss absolutely! This is a really important part of it that you bring up that most often HE is the initiator and the one who pursues. I think this is what throws off and confuses young women (and some older ones too), and they think well he said he's not ready but is pursuing me, so deep down he must feel something special about me and he probably just needs time. But in reality this simply is not true. I'm glad you mentioned this!

[@livvyo2123]

@InbornWanderlust Thank you, I appreciate what you say. It's the maternal instinct in us that makes it confusing but I think we should save that for the children and save ourselves from unnecessary heartache.

[@marionwilliams910]

​@@livvyo2123Amen

[@doityourselfqueen]

I wish these types of men would leave women alone. If he's not ready to be in a relationship he isn't ready for your noonie. These low vibrational leeches get on my last nerves wasting women's time, brain cells, and energy knowing full well they don't want you. It takes a sadistic, manipulative, opportunistic sociopath to think this behavior is cool. What's worse, too many women tolerate these jokers, willing to settle for the dysfunctional individual which encourages the behavior.

[@ericabelcher8760]

💯💯💯🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@sabir1208]

That part

[@livvyo2123]

Absolutely. If they're not ready for a relationship they keep walking. It's that simple. There's no benefit for the woman in this scenario, while the parasites tries to get all the relationship privileges for nothing. They've really got some nerve.

[@r.m.90]

You just described 90% of the male population.

[@Wwattz]

🤣🤣but if he says he's not ready for a relationship, he's being honest & open. That's perfect communication. Now it's your turn to say what you actually want. Most of the single female population says that they are happily single. Why the hell would it be bad to not be ready when most women who are single are happy with it? If he says this & you try to convince him otherwise, you're borderline being manipulative. You're trying to deter him from living his life the way he wants to. Just walk away or enjoy the ride.

[@neesha1]

It's perfectly ok for someone not to want a relationship. It's not for everybody. We all have choices. Now if he lies and says he's ready and you find out he/she is cheating...that's a different story.

[@nyikawynne3164]

Damn Ace can we put you on a billboard with this message... Thank you for this translation. This message allows a person to feel good about the discomfort of walking away from someone you care about especially someone cares about you back..... But neither one of you are ready. It sucks to have to walk away from someone you care about ...but when you put a little perspective on the true cost of the alternative. It makes you feel good about making the inconvenient choice. And it allows a person to stop delusion pains of remembering all the nice things. Without remembering the long term cost. When deep down your goal is to dance into a healthy relationship and put in the work to allow that to happen.

[@trenastewart2599]

I can't with you. You be killing it every time. I hope we ladies hear and extend this to your partnerships. Bc when we know and hear better, we do better.

[@MM-fc2gi]

FACTS! No man is EVER that honest with me to tell me that and even when I tell them hey you're NOT ready..they insist they are and that's when I politely give them examples of all the reasons why he is NOT ready to be with ME. And bounce

[@kaliahrosekisses675]

At least he wanted to date you

[@veronicachapman5682]

Please ladies listen to this man he not lying. He like a father, brother and male best friend looking after you. He probably even had history being that type of man himself but grew out of it.

[@kimberly0717]

Yes ladies, that's when he's NOT lying..take heed and look for the relationship you want unless you are totally okay for a "situationship".

[@helenhart3942]

Amen. Listen please please listen. I didn't listen and I learned and still am learning.

[@haleygray6443]

If he says he does not want a relationship and you try to go for it anyway- YOU are the manipulator.

[@inbornwanderlust1076]

Hard truth right here! ☝️💯

[@faith8373]

Where was this guy 20-something years ago he should be teaching about relationships is he is awesome dude seriously if I heard these words when I was younger I would have made so many less mistakes

[@rachelmm05]

Unfortunately many women have interpreted this as ok I'll stay with you until you are ready smh. When a man says he doesn't want to settle down, he doesn't want to get married, that he doesn't want kids, etc... please believe him. Dont waste anymore time and commitment on someone whose not on the same page as you are. If you choose to stay you setting yourself up for years of hurt, pain and let down.

[@marionwilliams910]

One problem is most men won't say to a woman, he'll lie to her to get what he wants from her. I call it deception.

[@valariecooper3039]

Yess! I swear, the honest guys working on themselves will be honest with you. And some will try to still play the field. You are factual ACE!! I don't chase, I hope there's someone who has enough willpower to walk away like I did. You have to think about your character, what kind of mentor are you and that's stepping on God's toes. God doesn't need our help to give us our husband/wife. #stopcrying #waitonGod

[@khrisi9410]

When he says he's not ready for a relationship or I love being single he's saying I'm selfish and a selfish man wouldn't hesitate to hurt you.

[@keemah8672]

That don’t mean that he’s selfish that means exactly what he said he’s just not ready so he’s giving the women the option to walk away unfortunately a lot of women don’t hear a guy when he says that so they turn into bob the building thinking they can fix him but he already said he’s not ready which is okay for any person to not be ready

[@QueenUglyDuckling]

Hmmmmmm 🤔 Wouldn't classify as selfish. I'd classify that's a guy ....that is keeping it 💯 .if dude is keeping it a buck? Selfish? Nah~~keeping true to himself. Females should take it at face value. The ones who DON'T keep it 💯? Those are the ones females have to watch out for. Those be the ones who females discover the drama, the BS, the foolishness AFTER THE FACT! FACTS 💯

[@PurrthaKit]

Yes, that means go away and open your self to someone who is ready. Thank that dude for being honest. Selfish would be that he strings you along and NOT tell you.

[@doityourselfqueen]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👏🏾🙌🏾

[@khrisi9410]

@@keemah8672 use logic & common sense okay. If a man is pursuing a woman and in the same breath says he's not ready for a relationship then anything he does going forward after the honeymoon phase of getting to know one another is over will be him running, him being distant, him being self involved and selfish, this is a natural outcome. So WOMEN when a man says he's not ready and you are ready it's in your best interest to not align yourself with a man whose AVOIDING love, avoiding intimacy, who avoids prioritizing anyone else other than himself. Don't make the mistake of believing because you're a great woman he will see the light, come to his senses and choose you because HE WON'T. The only thing he will do is ghost you completely OR he'll breadcrumb you to string you along until he's ready. So Keemah him not being ready for a relationship is okay but what's not okay is when these men pursue women as if they're available because inevitably he ends up being selfish and doing selfish behaviors to stay single.

[@katmatlou]

It's always better to be honest from jump ans and if you choose to stick around, then it's self inflicted pain.

[@mariaddis9341]

HE AIN'T LYING!!!!! And do not let him tell you other things to dismiss that assertion. Even if he's says "I love you" or "just be patient with me" It's just a ploy to keep you around and continue to use you and bleed you dry. We have to stop thinking that these sick vampires don't exist. These conversations and topics need to continually be had! Now is the time for us to thwart this behavior and start encouraging change. Never forget that he told you that "he IS NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP!" Believe him the first time.

[@sylvialuna6791]

Yes sir! Absolutely true.Their not ready,that's your answer to move on and not waste your time.Peace and blessings!💕👸💯💯💯

[@yolandayolanda3840]

Absolutely !!!!💯 tell the truth brother Ace, you keep it REAL💯

[@melissarobinson9365]

Speaking facts

[@NPRYRS]

This is true facts & how a boy's brain works. I've experienced this & he's exactly right.....will look you in your face & claim he didn't lie🤷🏿‍♀️ he didn't, your guts DID 💯❗

[@SacredWomensWisdom]

Facts! That's exactly what they mean and say!

[@phasashapharr]

FACTS..HE IS NOT READY 🙏🏾💜💪🏾👑 LOVE THE T-SHIRT ❤️

[@pinkdiamond8565]

absolutely 💯

[@andziagreen4922]

You are so right... I learned the hard way😊

[@tanjalikatheblacksheep708]

I got a chuckle because I can relate and I definitely identify. It makes so much sense.

[@mirandacarter5197]

I come back to you, Ace multiple times a day. You have been the only one that has helped comfort me with your hard truth. Showing me I did this to myself and time to change my behavior and choices. I can close this door permanently and not go back. Thank you for helping a stranger get through the Struggles of a fresh break up.

[@jezebelproudfoot4976]

Amen, and you’ve got to listen to the men who warn you. What’s to love, ladies? Wrong basket for your eggs. Find better.

[@TheBizeediva]

When people actually TELL YOU who they are: believe them.

[@gaynellmoore8362]

The ones who don't say it, but show you are worser, pretend they want a relationship,but really want to use,hurt,abuse like you saying

[@miawilliams4615]

Exposing GAME! 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾

[@demetreusross5150]

This dude is comical. You have a choice when he says he don't a relationship. Don't involve yourself. Y'all keep listening to this dude....he will have y'all out here like that jaxson dude😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@StrengthNLove]

When a man not ready leave that not ready Man alone he need to grow up some more ,Real Man want a wife that he can love and take care of and they both love each other and do right in God eye sight cause God is watching

[@genevieveaniko6492]

I like honest waste men... He's giving you a out from jump. Don't try to change him... Just walk away.

[@Tns85]

It also means he's with somebody else he never wants to be with you is actually what that means

[@joymccracken1939]

SMH sooo true! Preach! When I think back...my my my...

[@raynita27]

I love this man’s energy❤ sorry not sorry. People be tryna come for me in the comments because I truly love how he brings the real on our behalf.

[@tynaangelici3023]

He does not deserve the title of a man. He is a grown boy. Real men don’t behave that way.

[@YoYo-cj1zz]

Facts facts facts💯

[@44Michellef]

Facts! Oh my gosh, I've been saying this shit for years! Thanks for confirming that for me brah!

[@conor7179]

"I'm not ready for a relationship" is code for "you're ran-thru, I was just hitting it"

[@williamdearmond2334]

if a person tells you that they ain't ready, that doesn't mean they will lie to you, they don't have to lie, ya not together, how are they cheating on you, ya not together, when a person says this, this is actually what it means, it's you to stick around and let the dice fly, the person not ready, but you are, move around and move on...I disagree with what some he says

[@kaliahrosekisses675]

But he continues to beg sex from you and is waaaay to damn close to his girl best friend and kept saying women hurt him saying women are toxic and on social media wants to drool over other women who aren’t you and only be nice to you for sex I told that man my feelings and got hurt I stopped talking to him and I’ve dealt with men like this for years their all the same I let myself go and got depressed i haven’t talked to or even got flirted on by a guy in years there are no good ones anymore

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

Years ago this guy wanted to use me and I stopped him. He got mad because I didn’t want to date him and he was married and just had a baby and lied. That was the first and the last time he saw me. I didn’t want a relationship with him, but professional but he had other intentions and I shut them down and Dr. Jekyll came out.

[@shandabrown5580]

FACTS

[@juniorhendrix642]

Yes that is what he mean, yes that is your own fault..

[@brendajones9110]

No he's definitely not lying.

[@iriswood3744]

Struggle love Mary is the Queen of that

[@marionwilliams910]

Then she should ask " why did you approach me"?

[@disnalee]

He is correct!!! Listen to the mans word. Dont guess but listen.

[@TheonlyLadytee212]

You are so right about it!

[@mekaeats9604]

Come on brother!!! Preach!!

[@nono7105]

This is correct. We will lie to get sex. If we get sex then we don't need to improve ourselves and get ready for a relationship. Because we're already good enough for what we want. Sex. If a man says he ain't ready, then he just ain't. Don't waste your time in him and definitely don't give him sex. This is why you should protect yourself by not having sex until you're married.

[@livvyo2123]

But no responsibility on the man here right?..just the women. Don't worry, we hear you good and clear.

[@nono7105]

@@livvyo2123 No, none. A man can _take_ responsibility, which is what women want them to do. But they are not responsible. The woman is responsible for getting pregnant. They are responsible for their choice of mate. If a woman wants a man to take responsibility she should select such a man. To ensure it's not just a lie to get sex she should demand a show of responsibility first, i.e., marriage. If women don't have sex before marriage then it forces and rewards men to develop themselves into responsible competent people in order to get sex. As it stands those who do so are getting punished by the current system. Because women just give out sex to anyone at the moment, making your effort to become competent and responsible wasted. They are also not marriage material nowadays either. Making the decision to be responsible and marry them very often turn out to be a bad one.

[@lataciajackson6574]

🙌AMEN AMEN AMEN FACTS 💯💯💯💯💯💯‼️ THANK YOU GOD BLESS YOU IN JESUS NAME AMEN

[@prettydoll8690]

Talk baby talk 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@oreopumpkin5002]

Tell the truth brother that's the way it really is

[@superkelica6219]

Took me 3 years to understand that. He still calls me and try to get back with me and I feed him the same bs he gave me. I CONSTANTLY break off dates...he doesn't get it. I do it to waste his time.😂

[@flyingdutchman2442]

Men don’t mind wasting their time like women do. He’s waiting for you to be vulnerable or drunk. Lol He probably hits up multiple women.

[@sweetness3367]

Been there..but he didn't say he was not ready.. He spoke family and the works

[@mariehenderson5125]

That part!

[@Sonyahenry268]

Exactly

[@marthanunez8609]

Thank you 😌👏

[@StupedPunk]

Can confirm

[@jens8223]

This is sad but true

[@EdenSophia118]

Absolutely!!!!!

[@lindawood8114]

Your telling me truth!

[@landrat3481]

🤔💭 sad but true😳.. facts💯💞

[@gloriablackmore18]

Yes! You did.

[@bettyphillips40]

Not her fault. The soul tie is real

[@jenniferarzadon2525]

hes not ready wow i experience this all true hurt reject drain pain accuse abuse 😔😐☹️

[@katkanegyke177]

I don’t understand this. When I’m not ready to be in a relationship I completely distance myself till I’m ready. I don’t play with people’s feelings or waste their time or use them for validation. And when I don’t want to be with a specific person, I tell them and leave them alone. How can some people be intimate with someone they don’t feel connection with or chemistry? And those are the worst who claim they don’t want to be in a relationship and act like a proper boyfriend/girlfriend, because they want all the benefit of a relationship. And those who make you believe they want something serious just to tell you a few months in that they actually don’t. These people need therapy not a situationship…

[@LiveLife-hs6gn]

Speak facts

[@healthyhairbydee]

Big facts!

[@gingerhoney4031]

When someone tells you who they are...believe them "in Maya Angelou voice"

[@Sheperdsdaughter]

What happens when he tells you this in the middle of the road! And that he thought he was ready! Two to three years into the journey.

[@ericabelcher8760]

Definitely had this happen to me! Lesson learned! Smdh 💯💯🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@Sheperdsdaughter]

@@ericabelcher8760 I know it's painful. You have to pick up the pieces and continue the journey. I had to go through it too.

[@najaahamari4199]

You do everything that you can to wean yourself off him. You focus on yourself, indulge in good health and joyful experiences, immerse yourself in learning new skills. Immerse yourself in knowledge, learning, good causes, and become the best version of yourself. Build your self esteem and develop acute clarity and vision. When your cup runneth over with self love and love... You'll be alright

[@neesha1]

As hard as it may be, you respect it and move on. Easier said than done. But what else can you do?

[@Sheperdsdaughter]

@@najaahamari4199 Thank you so much for this message.

[@basimahknowshow]

Yup! Listen 🎧

[@dynettawashington4564]

I agree except now you will have women believing they are truly responsible for someone else's messed up thinking and undermining sincere feelings even if they are nieve and not well thought out but .... Is that really right?🤔 or is that the point so that men can continue having the "GO AHEAD, that it is ALRIGHT" to do and be heartless? 😐I'm just saying🤷‍♀️ it sounds like we rather make excuses for men's inhumane behavior then to be honest that it should absolutely never be in or considered in a relationship...I hate this world🙇‍♀️

[@jacquelinecole8000]

Right ❤

[@joypowers1714]

Lord!!!¡!!!!

[@talyadraper3221]

What is it when a man says he wants to get married and is looking for someone to do that with, but puts in no effort for you with dates and coming to see you? But tells you he likes you and cares for you and knows you're a good person and do not want to let you go. I understand not being ready for marriage right now due to not being ready financially and maybe mentally but still I think there should be some effort instead of it being me all the time.

[@inbornwanderlust1076]

I hope you're young because if a fully grown man is doing this, it means he is a narcissist. You have to run. If you're young maybe he just doesn't know or is still too immature to be able to confidently step into his manhood. So if this is the case, then you have to tell him what you need from a man that would be a serious partner or husband for you. You tell him you need to be taken on dates, treated like a lady, he needs to be a gentleman. You tell him that he needs to lead more and initiate contact and effort. If he responds positively and steps up and does these things for you, then you're good to continue with him and tell him how much you appreciate him taking a leadership role. If he doesn't respond (because no answer IS an answer) or responds negatively or simple does not step up, then you let this guy go because he isn't a man.

[@gloriablackmore18]

It is called " Playing House. "

[@lauravorpagel1938]

Omg @Ace !!! Will you be my big brother? 😁

[@divinediva_]

PeriodT!

[@JazzyBlessed1]

💯💯💯

[@judahalicem]

True

[@allleo5214]

💯

[@sunnyflower1979]

ooo weeee 👏🏽

[@Ms.B.Warren]

🎯

[@theresajohnson2405]

💯💯💯👏👏👏

[@angelaaldas5591]

You are very fine❣️ I love your outspokenness❣️

[@rkbranch737]

EXACTLY

[@yardena1234]

Amen🧐👀💯🌈💓🤩

[@NoExcuses_FckExcuses]

Naw fam I have to disagree with you on this one. If I’m not ready for a relationship it’s because I have much more important things going on in my life that requires a lot more attention and time than a relationship.

[@londab2881]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯

[@nyny1042]

✔

[@puylicious3134]

YESSSSSS

[@jstzolaa]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽