When an emotionally broken man is using a woman, he’ll show these signs!

[@naomidaum8277]

Never waste your time and energy on someone who values your body more than your soul.

[@NBnNC]

Bars 🎤

[@monicaramirez51015]

Wow this is deep 😮AMEN ❤

[@renewyourmind1815]

This hit deep

[@kelseyleeann5482]

Deep and true

[@suzanne4396]

Ten years of that ... Kept telling me " "Things would go to the next level IF I would only ______ ... ... " putting the blame on Me. ** That's called future -faking and it's what Narcissists do on the regular*** Until I walked away and blocked him ( 739 times) Then and only then he came running and made promises. Again, future -faking.

[@nangel270]

Narcissists can’t be saved. You need a partner not a project.

[@E4439Qv5]

Damn. I would feel bad if I cared.

[@PsychedPerspective]

This right here!

[@janelorna9449]

Well said!

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Amen!🙏🏽

[@JulieMontrose-cr4lj]

That is bs!

[@ZFern9390]

If your partner can't have difficult conversations its a dead end !

[@CherylrhondaMoreland-wv2fj]

Foreal foreal

[@ValerieLorna1]

Money issues = RED FLAG! Gaslighting= Avoiding serious problems by abusing you mentally! Isolating= from family and friends by talking about your mental health.........! Strange put-downs in front of his colleagues= making himself feel better than you, ( a substitute mother)! Allowing his family to see you as miserable and strange= But he becomes happy and concerned after his abusive behaviour! Hides your clothes = hiding and throwing away the things you love: including old letters and fun stuff from your childhood, as well as important appointments or your portfolio etc... The RED FLAG at the top is the KEY to all other issues he can't handle or talk about!!

[@BrendaBaBoom]

It’s also a waste of time.

[@kimarkoh]

Yep. Hence, why I'm now done after 7 yrs. I held on for way too long hoping to save it.

[@dianedoncheski2302]

You betcha!

[@piamerida1687]

A man like this will never find happiness and peace in his life...

[@karenkaren9913]

Mine says he is perfectly fine and happy with his life and his job and an expensive car. Yet he's a single man in his late 30s that is scared of serious relationships.

[@oliviaolivia8397]

and when you marry someone like this you just ignore them, you don't need him to make you happy. You've been single since you married him and you're in it for sex and kids.It's not worth the heartbreak. Were old.

[@piamerida1687]

@@oliviaolivia8397 that's right one day he will be old and sick...hope someone is willing to take care of him while he is sick...

[@joeynarciso94]

NOOOO KIDDING!!

[@samuelpayne5460]

It’s so ironic. This video highlights the attributes that most women bring to a relationship, yet it “shames men for doing them”. The reality is that men that do these things don’t get into a relationship. Women do these things and are encouraged to do them with the saying “if he can’t handle me at my worst, he doesn’t deserve me at my best”.

[@dragonclaws9367]

Asking for clarity was seen as "starting a fight."

[@GigiTelevision]

😅😂 yep...then they victimize you by acusing you of starting a fight

[@phalinimcleod8819]

Yup.

[@Tandy_N]

Think of if this way... the fact that you are needing clarity, should be your clarity. When he truly loves you, you will never be confused. The fact that there is confusion means he is not the one

[@GigiTelevision]

@@Tandy_N Thank you my friend

[@BrendaBaBoom]

@@Tandy_N 🎯🎯🎯

[@kjb17]

I’m an empath and I was always attracted to broken men wanting to fix them. It only backfires.

[@ciarahorton4828]

This is me 10000%

[@guzelfetkulina9599]

I can so relate😏

[@teanna4569]

Yes it’s usually a karmic lessons past life karma that needs to be learned

[@lisaosborne8635]

It's often a way of fixing yourself or resolving your past through fixing someone else

[@dianedoncheski2302]

Lesson learned Katie. Move on with your own good progress! The quality of people you attract when you take care of yourself first has a lot of positive upswing!

[@1984musicman]

Better to be single than existing in an unhappy relationship

[@busiebasiyano583]

That's very true 😢

[@MC-mk6gs]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@yathingowda889]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯happy to be alone 🤍🙌💐🤍💐

[@joannvige5465]

I agree

[@Iamanillusion1]

Yes they're useless today

[@LibraryBP2]

The narcissist will flirt with waitresses and even your close friends. When confronted, the response will be "Oh please, I'm just being friendly and sociable." Maybe you're just jealous and insecure!" No, the one who is really insecure is them! They always need a 'new' supply to nurse their ego.

[@kimberlyedgett3592]

What about a male midlife crisis

[@biondna7984]

Yup. Married to one for 24 years. Second marriage was to a genuinely loving man. He made me feel like I was the only woman on the planet. Never felt so desirable, so free, so cherished.

[@Nothing-h6i]

My X did that...said to the outdoor waitress "I'd rather be taking my clothes off". I just froze. Wtf??

[@biondna7984]

@@Nothing-h6i Mine too. I never said anything; I knew he'd sneer at me. Our older son as a young teen said to me, "I don't like it when Papa flirts with other women." It took his courage and honesty to slap me awake, bless his heart.

[@nambiligamxamub3075]

They even flirt with your employees

[@Win_Nguyen]

Something that helped me is just telling myself that “he is sick and I was conned.” Because that’s what people like this are, they are sick and they make you sick too. They trick you into thinking that you are loved and of value to them, but you are not. Use every ounce of will power to let go and move on.

[@Life-e11g]

Well said, I was with one , he made me believe it is all my fault the way he is, very toxic and destructive behaviour, I suffer from severe anxiety and stress because the amount of abuse I received from him. Now he is still repeating the same mistake, more victims and trauma caused. Wishing everyone best of luck on keeping them away.

[@GigiTelevision]

Yep

[@louisecampbell2628]

Ah! Yes.."they are sick and make you sick"😢 spot on!

[@sassy46201]

Exactly sick in the head

[@samuelpayne5460]

That’s a lot easier than facing the truth. Which is that he was a good man (otherwise you wouldn’t have been willing to date him). These attributes are a result of how you have emotionally abused him throughout the relationship. And, if you don’t learn the ways in which you abuse men, then you’ll be blaming the next one for the results that you have created. Men really are simple, you women bring the chaos that he is trying to avoid.

[@dollyrama1132]

Inconsistency is a major red flag. MAJOR😮

[@albatrozz3058]

and avoiding conversations. Not just difficult conversations but just conversations in general.

[@conniekimes6019]

True that

[@gayleneflower398]

You forgot He Blames You for Everything that Goes Wrong

[@ldy_c8423]

So true!!

[@felixmom12]

Right and they don’t like when you blame them or hold them accountable. I’m dealing with one. I always take the blame and hold myself accountable when I am wrong

[@SharonArdizzone]

@@ldy_c8423

[@bhuvanmohinidevi194]

Wow..and fun fact is..I already have had this from my own family!

[@MonishaJefferson]

Thats what my ex did

[@riverafamily7]

There is a HUGE difference between authentic love and selfish attachment.

[@suzanne4396]

Toxic attachment I called it; and once I went through three years of trauma therapy ( old issues from my childhood) I was able to 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃. AWAY!! 👋👋👊

[@waakkeuppp]

@@suzanne4396what methods of trauma therapy helped you the most ?

[@suzanne4396]

@@waakkeuppp CBT and EMDR, with a little bit of DBT as well. I also have watched Dr. Gabor Mate regularly, as he experienced severe trauma as an infant ( 80 years ago) and has amazing insight on what the long-term effects of trauma are and how to heal.

[@waakkeuppp]

@@suzanne4396 Thanks for sharing. I took notes a while ago on one of Gabor Maté’s interviews about trauma healing and he mentioned: body-based therapies such as somatic-experiencing, Sensory motor psychotherapy, EMDR, IFS - internal family systems - Dr Richard Schwartz, Compassionate Inquiry - Dr Gabor Maté himself uses, Laurence Heller’s work on trauma healing - I still haven’t found a decent therapist - I chose one who was trauma informed but I don’t think she had enough experience. So I’ve been having to figure this out on my own. Jordan Peterson has a ‘self authorship’ program which he recommends for CPTSD. I also like some of Jordan Thornton’s KZbin videos. Needless to say, I’m thankful for mentors I’ve found through KZbin.

[@SallyBeauchamp]

How do you find real trauma therapy specialists and doctors?

[@brookesmith3476]

Ladies, please don’t just settle, love yourself you deserve the best.

[@ayandafree4354]

Ain't that the Truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@primmyntuli]

There's a reason this video popped up on my feeds. 🥺

[@kerensegevnoy]

Me too ugh😅

[@meggtokyodelicious]

Likewise!!!!. I am dealing with a karmic narcissist who thinks he can get me without therapy and Shadow work. 😅

[@christineribone9351]

the reason is "algorithm"

[@hbestinternetwatch]

Yeah the KZbin seems to listen our conversations without our knowledge or consent perhaps that could be the case too!🤷‍♀️🙄

[@sunmisolapedetin]

Honestly

[@victoriacastro6436]

I remember telling him “I’d rather be single than be in a relationship and feel like this” and it was flipped onto me He made me feel awful and crazy I was so stressed when I was with him I couldn’t think straight and I forgot to put myself first I thought I truly loved him but now that I’m free I see the relationship for what it really was and none of it was real He lied to me and I lied to myself

[@mariasahar2788]

So relatable 😢

[@kristinburton4953]

If you were providing sex, he might have been using you. ;)

[@nananeva333]

You are not alone! Just ending one of these situations. My intuition kept giving me nudges and I ignored them, but no more. I know my worth and I deserve better. When it's time, it'll happen. I'm grateful for the lessons. I'm more aware and enlightened. This was meant to happen because it did.

[@LadyEpileptic]

Very Unbelievably ❤relatable

[@snowmiaow]

Telling them that stuff is worse than useless.

[@obtenirbacplusmention2025]

the signs🔽: 0:23 he avoids deep conversations 1:27 he's inconsistent 3:21 he only contacts you when he needs something 4:31 he doesn't include you in his life 6:21 he avoids commitment 7:05 he makes you feel guilty 8:19 he doesn't support your goals

[@Priya-oz5lz]

Thank you

[@manofmanstrobannamani3886]

Thank you for taking the time to do what you did

[@UrsaBella]

that is my husband

[@lilyjane1011]

​@@UrsaBella sounds liké hé is possibly a narcissist....

[@djgeol3892]

Thank you bro

[@Fundream]

I know him.I couldn't take it anymore.After years of being labeled and blamed for everything.I became a moving statue.I became silent 🤐.He packed up his clothes (the only thing he owned in the house)got in his car and left.I never shed a single tear.I have never felt so better in my life

[@sandrarama7556]

Omg! I had the exact experience! I'm at peace now 😊

[@leslietalman5463]

Sounds like a Avoidant personality. They really can mess with your heart. They are master manipulaters. Was with one for many years. Finally got the strength to leave at 65.

[@Asr203.]

I know. You sound like me I’m 65 1/2. I was with one for 23 years. It was very difficult. I tried to commit, but I was really in love with him. Our intimacy was good for a long time then it stopped eight years ago. I gave him a break on that. I asked him many questions about that too. He just said he wasn’t interested anymore. He still wanted a relationship I considered that still very selfish. I thought about this long and hard. I finally decided that it was gonna have to be over. I was battling with this for so long that I didn’t even cry a tear. such a waste. Of many things.

[@Asr203.]

I know. You sound like me I’m 65 1/2. I was with one for 23 years. It was very difficult. I tried to commit, but I was really in love with him. Our intimacy was good for a long time then it stopped eight years ago. I gave him a break on that. I asked him many questions about that too. He just said he wasn’t interested anymore. He still wanted a relationship I considered that still very selfish. I thought about this long and hard. I finally decided that it was gonna have to be over. I was battling with this for so long that I didn’t even cry a tear. such a waste. Of many things.

[@hollandgem2]

Yeah, I was with one for 20 some years and I left at the age of 65 also. Unless lonely living on my own, just turned 71 and I have tried the dating scene but there are a lot of emotionally unavailable and broken men looking for women to take care of them, and make their lives good again. They’re not looking at what they can bring to the table. But I am looking at what I bring to the table. And I know it’s a lot, and I’m not going to settle! I’m content with myself and my friends and my spiritual practices. I will not allow someone to make me feel unloved and not valued simply because they’re not capable of it. Oh, I have one guy who said he love me, but I made him really nervous, and sometimes he felt intimidated because he didn’t feel good enough for me. Yeah, right he didn’t bother to try to invest because basically he was emotionally broken and a man child! Very sad for him, but I moved on. It took a lot out of me so now, my lesson from that was self love and self-worth and self compassion! Lesson learned!

[@redleeks6253]

BS. Let's call things by their names:USERS. They're not broken, they know exactly what They're doing

[@joannvanterpool115]

Great for you leaving. Keep rising

[@Sweet-T-v2v]

I dumped my narcissistic ex today... the relief i am feeling.. he is exactly like this...

[@mezlandia]

I hope you’re doing well now

[@Marsha_Ann]

I'm trying to work up the nerve..

[@Sweet-T-v2v]

​@@Marsha_Ann i have healed and am feeling great... the sooner u do it , the better because i doing much better

[@Sweet-T-v2v]

​@@mezlandiayes... its 4 months and am doing amazing❤

[@ThePaigealex]

Good on you, please stay safe 😊

[@marie-soleildauphinais9530]

I hope one day, these behaviors will be considered unacceptable. Enough people have been hurt and broken by this kind of unavailable partner. We can't thrive on crumbs. They may be broken and I can feel empathy for their struggle. But there's no excuse for their lack of integrity and honesty. If someone doesn't want to commit, he must be with people who's not looking for long term relationships.

[@bonitasmith6064]

So very very true, makes them a bad person, to take advantage of someone's feelings, when they know they don't or won't feel the same.

[@brennam954]

They're true energy vampires. Just use other people.

[@vodkavuitton]

If you pay attention they lie about everything because the connection is not genuine so they don't feel the need to be honest

[@GigiTelevision]

I learned...that these men dont value anyone but themselves. They will say anything in the moment to sleep with you.

[@Manju-m1p9s]

When we stop stereotyping women with these videos on KZbin ..advising how to stop men from running, and how to make him fall in love with you .. All those bullshit videos

[@sunitafisher4758]

🌸 Ladies please don’t waste time on mr wrong, the hot n cold, and they also refer to that as breadcrumbs Move on and live your life to fullest Trust me along the way you will meet Mr Right ❤ I remember reading a comment that made me very alarmed, one woman complaining about a man, she said it was 14 years and he didn’t marry her or was committed to her! Another lady moaning about another man and it was 3yrs…… Don’t waste one minute! Your time is your youthful life, your best life, don’t waste it please 🙏🏼 Especially not on wrong idiotic people, some use manipulation, just be carful Narcissist love bomb, run from them as fast as you can You will meet right one ☝🏼 ❤

[@TimTheEnchanter0]

This!! A man knows within seconds if you are the one or a placeholder. If he hasn’t proposed in a year and put massive ACTION (masculine principle) into you then cut him loose. A man that loves a woman SHOWS it by taking care of her, seeing someone to preserve vs convenient/useful. Gary Vee’s betrayal of his family highlights that. Men prize 2 things - youth and beauty. Dont waste the pretty.

[@joanb8489]

Ladies, this is excellent advice. Please , please, please follow it.

[@reneelibby4885]

or you'll be happy without a man!

[@654Tennis]

Very well said! Never settle for bread crumbs, especially when you're giving someone the whole loaf!

[@nancylamb1117]

I'm just mad I wasted the summer.

[@beyondether4641]

We are not doing little girls justice by feeding them the ' my prince will come ' stories. You may never meet this ' prince", but you should never settle for a man who undervalues you, who makes everything center around him or you will find yourself catering to his bloated ego and you will never receive the amount of love he extracts from you. Fulfilling relationships are give-and-take exchanges otherwise why should you bother with them.

[@trudy-annsmall9600]

Please say your comment out loud it makes perfect sense

[@DanielVanRomeo]

If everyone would act the way you write the world would be netter tomorrow. Unfortunately the Case ia a different one. People always Look on Others instead on their own Life and it's development within own Relationships to Partners and Friends.

[@sandie4870]

Exactly. 😒

[@SangmiKim-v5i]

Exactly right!!!

[@t-money2607]

My prince came and wrecked my life…he’s the Prince of Darkness! 😢

[@starchoo4616]

Insecure man, broken man, toxic, do all this things,

[@louisecampbell2628]

YES they do

[@sunflower6434]

All the same thing. With a different name. Or you they just overlap like a colour wheel, insecure man becomes immature becomes broken man becomes narcissistic traits become bipolar traits becomes insecure man 🔃🔁…just spin the wheel and see where it lands this week, this month, this year.

[@Sherri-w9b]

@@starchoo4616 that exactly explains my ex, it's really pretty sad

[@reneerosie]

@@sunflower6434You’ve perfectly explained why my narcissistic ex husband was diagnosed with a ‘mood disorder’ but medication never worked. I left to have surgery so I could be looked after by my father & he filed for divorce. Classic narcissistic discard. The relief!!

[@-First-Last]

It is about TOXIC femininity too. (I'm a woman)

[@Rowana0610]

That's why the role of a parent is essential to a child. Specifically mother and son relationship. Parents are the first persons to build up a man inside his home and growing up in a toxic environment can make them so broken as they grow older. I'm a young mom to my son (toddler) and as his parent, i want to build him to be a man that someday would build his own family out of genuine love.

[@Devi-tg8fh]

You are absolutely right, bad mothers make broken men. they always give reason to their mothers so if the mother was insufficient for what ever reasons, it’s very rare that men can evolve beyond that.

[@ytaylor8734]

ABSOLUTELY!!

[@2780-l2k]

I am trying but my husband counter- parents me, needs to be the favorite (it isn’t a competition), and isolate me from our son to be center of attention, he upsets our son by being attentive and cold and it’s the same as he does to me, the list goes on. Yet he thinks he loves our son because the feeling is there (18 month old), versus he has no loving feelings for me. We have only been married for two years and he has been this way that whole time, as this video describes. Then he wonders why he has no love feelings for me when he actively finds problems with me, nitpicks me, hates me, is selfish and hates himself because he knows who he is and I am just a dumping ground for all his negative emotions.

[@Rowana0610]

@@2780-l2k This is a difficult situation, i feel sorry that you have to deal with it. Perhaps you can discuss with him how you feel or if it still seems hard for the two of you, maybe you can seek help from your most trusted relatives or friends for support and counsel.

[@parinazaz4044]

Wow, amen to that.

[@Vibrantly_Monochromatic]

After putting up with someone like this for 4 years, im glad im free and thinking about my hobbies once again Thank you god for not allowing it to get worse

[@christineribone9351]

What are you thanking him for?? He's the one that brought you two together and he allowed him to torture you for years.

[@Vibrantly_Monochromatic]

@christineribone9351 why would I blame God for that? I blame humanity for all the abuse I suffered from so called friends and family

[@christineribone9351]

@@Vibrantly_Monochromatic Again, dummy, he''s the one that stuck YOU with those family and friends. Wow, youre stupid.

[@karenkaren9913]

I just finished 2 years relationship with an unavailable man exactly 💯 like in this video. I thought there was something wrong with me. I am glad it wasn't 4 years.

[@sophielovesdnb]

I feel you, 4 years for me too! I forgot who I was, what I liked and what made me happy. It’s like learning to walk again. ❤

[@BinishHum]

I was kept lingering in the background. When he died, his family changed the locks to the home we shared never even asking if I had anywhere else to go. I spent 8 years of my life being his wife but because he never cared enough he left me with nothing not even a title. You can’t save them. Walk away while you still can. Run, run away while you still can. Men like these need to be alone.

[@denisewilcox9267]

Oh so so sad. Thank you for sharing-- it does ever help me.

[@melissajean-yq5pk]

I'm sorry you experienced that. That's awful. How were they able to do that? You lived in that house for 8 years, and I'm sure any judge would've granted you the house. After all, you were married.... you should be considered next of kin.

[@brandyoggknows]

So devastating I feel your hurt. I had a very similar experience and situation someone I lived with and loved with all my heart who I spent 5 years with living together. I was clueless about the topic of emotionally unavailable men. I tried daily to work harder to get him to notice me. In the beginning he pretended to adore me. I always saw myself as the problem until one day I heard the things he had said about me behind my back to his ex wife and family. It was horrible. I always tried lifting him up and in general despite the lack of affection, was a happy person even in crappy circumstances. Thank goodness I left as soon as I could. He wasn’t ever planning on marrying me. He just bought a ring because I felt secure wearing one. It took me a very long time to recover I loved unconditionally and loved him just the way he was, flawed and broken. He had deeper issues and never dealt with then and transferred his pain onto me. Luckily I am happier without him. I was heartbroken when I left him as I watched him create a new life with a stranger he just met, A woman he found that was vulnerable and unsuspecting of his ways. She lived with her kids and didn’t have a job or car. He did the same to her and made her feel special. I saw the transactions occurring. He treated women as possessions until they stand up for themselves. His attention was always on work, his hobbies and his friends as well as other women or his family including ex. It was never on me, He never loved me. If I had stayed I would have continued to feel rejected on a daily basis. He kept finances seperate, wouldn’t dare put my name on his house, and I tried talking to him about these issues of future security. He would keep postponing taking any action and do the opposite of what he would say. He was a very successful man that left his family and kids to play the field and live a bachelor lifestyle. He cared more about his golf membership than me. Still when I left him I told him how much I loved him and that through my eyes I saw someone innocent and hurting. Regardless he didn’t want me. He knows that I know about his private issues and stop he would go around gossiping and making up false narratives about me to make himself look good after I left, telling random acquaintances of his that I was unfaithful etc… he made me out to be a complete disaster and was good at convincing people of this. I had no idea he hated me so much. Moved on and matured…. I gained my joy back that he stole from me. He now tries to make up for being a bad father and husband to his original family and discarded me like trash. Had even the new woman convinced as I watched him put her up high on a pedestal. He tried to make me compete over him with the new woman, I didn’t fall for it. I kept my distance. He made me feel so alone during holidays birthdates etc.. I don’t envy the life of his new roommate. I never knew he saw me as a roommate…. I worked hard to get where I am today. I have been very resilient throughout life in hard times. I’ve always put others before myself. I dont understand people can be so mean.

[@karenkaren9913]

My ex was exactly like this. Yet he made me believe there was something wrong with me and my mental health, but he was always the good guy and perfect. Couldn't stand this hot and cold behaviour, ignoring me for days, giving me silence treatment, not making plans together. But i had to be always ready to be intimate with him, when I said no he would say he can't develop feelings for me because i don't want to have s** with him when he wants😂. I feel stupid that i let that happening for 2 years and he made me believe i am not good enough so he can't properly love me and stay consistent.

[@phalinimcleod8819]

Oh, Karen, so sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@mariannenapoles146]

I endured for 10 years thinking he would love me one day. I jumped out and blocked everything. It’s the only way out.

[@janelorna9449]

You did well to walk away ,you are a gem and too valuable to settle for a man who didn't value you,the one who's for you will love you not for what you can do but for who you are.

[@mrs.latoyamelvin652]

I had to reLook back to see if I had written this, cause this is exactly what I go through too & finally had enough. I take day by day fighting against self heart to not go back to him, to remind myself I deserve same treatment I put out, what man is and has done just simply not right, And I have to do this just to be in a good mood and keep my sanity protected from accepting ones disrespect...

[@NR1985-c7w]

You are not alone.. I felt the same way with my ex. We had a long relationship but I was suffering. All the things told here is so true. He made me feel that its my fault . But I left and I have mental peace now

[@janet8982]

I married one of these. I definitely settled. Was a great guy while dating with lots of love bombs. After marriage, he became selfish and can’t give me the time of day. Never wants to go anywhere. He works, golf’s and sports tv. Lesson learned, don’t get married. Too old to divorce and regroup. I’ve learned to just live a separate life in a marriage. Very disappointing.

[@lonelyplanet2021]

❤

[@jaifyre702]

😢

[@SharonBaisden]

Same thing happened to my mom and he's dead now so she got back her glow

[@melissavalentine9771]

Never to old!

[@trudy-annsmall9600]

Never too old to find yourself, peace and new people and places to know

[@GodHelpMe369]

When an emotionally broken man is using a woman, he’ll show these signs: - he avoids truly deep and emotionally vulnerable conversations - he's inconsistent - he only contacts you when he needs/wants something - he doesn't REALLY include you in his life (it's all an illusion/fantasy) - he avoids commitments/labels - he makes you feel guilty/crazy/needy - he doesn't truly support you or your goals (in any real and tangible way) So, 1) Never EVER be afraid of losing him. You are the Divine feminine. Let him fear losing YOU! 2) Have an EXTREMELY low tolerance for ANY bad behavior... AVOIDANT or NARCISSIST? Let's be real. It's irrelevant. They both behave the same. The damage they do is the same. The trauma they cause is the same. FUCK THEM BOTH. So, When there’s a disagreement, an argument, a conflict, some bullying, disrespect, boundaries being crossed etc... someone will inevitably, most likely, be disappointed in me... So, I engage in each and every situation in a way that ensures, that the person disappointed in me, NEVER ENDS UP BEING ME! I aim to never repress, never suppress. I aim to never lose parts of myself. Radical honesty only: 100% of the time. Always, all ways. AND REMEMBER: to test if ANY relationship is healthy - you've got to judge the relationship on its bad days, not on its good ones!

[@Notyourplainjane]

Wow!!! Thank you! You are a hundred !💯 stay gold! Ure a shining star!

[@JJ-iq8mi]

💯

[@Lyddiebits]

We are 13 years married, so much of this rings true. "Last night, I even told my husband, I ask about your day, I want to know how you feel, you don't ask about my day" And he STILL didn't ask about my day. I feel like I gave him the perfect opportunity to ask, and nope. Finally tho, he has tapered off on drinking alcohol and also, finally after years has agreed to couples counseling. He is most often not awake in the morning to talk, and way too busy (he is) at work to talk (I don't ever expect him to have a deep conversation while he is working, not possible) but then, he is too tired after work to talk...so.

[@OrchidTingz]

Wow so true 💯

[@niyazfathimasn3445]

Most pure soul suffer silently in the name of love😢

[@reneelibby4885]

at a certain point you are simply being a masochist

[@angelic9762]

So true we suffer

[@tanturakshit7410]

😢

[@Lucid-logic]

And suffer due to lack of financial resources too,

[@charlenegandy9315]

😞😓😪 I'm in a marriage like that, but I'm ready to let go. There is no communication in our marriage and I believe that my husband never ever really loved me. Now we live together but sleep in separate rooms and it's been like that for years. I'm now letting go and going to file for a divorce after seventeen years of marriage. I deserve better 😢

[@maudynyathi332]

I know it's difficult to let go of someone you still love, but the more you stay in that relationship may cause you a lot. If you are a good person, you end up being affected with anger, and anger opens doors for the devil to make you sin. He is just not the one for you. Remember Life pain are there not to harm us,but for us to learn from them, and also help others with advise facing the same challenges.

[@CherylrhondaMoreland-wv2fj]

@@maudynyathi332 wow so true

[@imaginewonder6570]

I'm in almost exactly the same spot. Maybe I need to let go too.

[@Vivi921]

Same here

[@karlar2478]

Me too, and I always felt confused and devalued constantly cheated on. I was always on the sideline.

[@Belluser-we1uc5cb2l]

I dated a guy like this. It's called narcissistic. Broken my foot, don't feel sorry for these fools. He can also be bipolar. Run and don't look back. This is mental and emotional abuse. Friendship can be like this. Hit BLOCK 🚫 On your cell.

[@GigiTelevision]

I agree...their behavior is emotionally damaging

[@carolinemyers5994]

You couldn't have said it better

[@joannvanterpool115]

Yes indeed. It's not just man/woman relationships. Narcissism/toxicity/evil etc. also manifest in all other relationships/atmospheres/ places/spaces

[@ValerieLorna1]

​@@joannvanterpool115 coming down from a parent: usually the Mother!

[@mariannenapoles146]

Best video ever. Life changing. Why can’t we see this occurring? 😢

[@pamelaking1104]

I recently had to let go of someone like this. Spent 6 years with the off and on relationship and I feel so used and that I wasn’t anything or good enough but I finally was able to let him go and end it.

[@karenkaren9913]

Same here my dear. I feel so used. But learnt a lesson. Now we know who to avoid.

[@HikerGirl-ct3nd]

Dont get upset still lucky I was with one for 17 years 😢

[@Presh_Ngcobo]

Same and he never wanted to talk about settling down, it's been almost a year of breaking up, he's marrying someone else!

[@kerrymillar1267]

@@Presh_Ngcobosorry that’s really painful, you’ll meet your person.

[@NavyLady82]

It saddens me that most of my relationships have had many of these attributes.

[@sharonmarsh3728]

An attribute is something positive, something beautiful. Your mate had in-born, negative Traits and didn't go for self-improvement.

[@LuvBritTV]

This applies to your family also. I married two of these men, divorced and happy to be alone now, forever possibly.

[@sezza271]

It's inconsistency on a massive scale unfortunately, I have to let him go.😔

[@GigiTelevision]

You are better off

[@metamorphosis9671]

🫶🏾🫂 You deserve consistency and respect. Go *B.I.G!* Block, Ignore, Ghost.

[@gatubela_nay]

I been stuck on this loop for over 3 years feeling like I was the problem and too needy, I changed my personality and basically strip the old me out and ended up with severe anxiety. I finally walked away yesterday and I am ready to heal...😢😢

[@ginasmitasin479]

I hope you are doing ok, know it will get better. We were together in high school and then again at twenty. After six months I had an epiphany and moved away. Three days after packing up my stuff I met the man that would be my husband. We were married a year later…I should say we didn’t date for the first six months ( I was a temp in his office). I’m sure most of the people at our wedding didn’t think it would last. HA! December 8th 1979 Take care of yourself, take some time. Hugs

[@gatubela_nay]

@ginasmitasin479 I'm doing alright just taking 1 day at a time...

[@He-de-hi-js2yu]

I’m not far behind you at 4 years. Just got to pick the date. No fool like an old fool, but with age comes knowledge. Just always takes too long to realise I’m just done.

[@virginiacreager4331]

The one about avoiding deep conversations is huge ! I wish I had known the connection to emotional brokenness

[@BritneyDeuth-y3y]

I was a damn fool for WAY too long. Put up with nothing but bullshit.

[@Erika-h1m8x]

You're Not the only one, it's not your fault they're great at what they do.

[@doreathaannhighsmith2808]

I totally understand

[@lisaosborne8635]

It was for a reason it will have taught u so much about your self and made you stronger

[@user-wo6px5bh3d]

I feel you sister. You ain't alone! 🙏🏻

[@DebrahBond]

I was in a relationship. Way to long..I thought the strong pull to be with him ment twin flame . But he kept cheating,deceitful and feed me lies. I waited thinking he would see. But truth is he was teaching me lessons that I needed to fix about my self. . Not he needed time to realize he felt something for me. . wow! I waisted a lot of years waiting. Mad at myself .. but learning to forgive myself. Trying to move on.moven on

[@idantswaki2763]

😢😢😢why would some people make you believe that they love you while they dont😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😔😔😔am in that relationship. Please pray for me to get out😢😢 Thank you guys I had never had so many likes like this before 🤗am so glad that I left him and it feels so good

[@ScorpioKay1027]

You don't just need prayer. You need action. ❤

[@Nancy20012]

Prayers don't help mate, realising that he doesn't love you is a massive first step to detach emotionally from that person

[@jJust_NO_]

honestly your worrying creates just lots of unnecessafy noise. if youre loved or unloved, whatever your criteria of judging is and based on what premise, no matter what, youre gonna be ok. youre introducing friction or chaos into the space of your relationship because of insecurity. dont outrightly hate or punish his distance or whatever perceived problem but just observe 'lovingly'. but that 'lovingly' gesture needs self mastery to embody. nm.. if he is there, be ok, if not be ok. just live your life.

[@Nancy20012]

@@jJust_NO_ that's not great advice is it? You have no idea about the circumstances of that person. Someone feeling not loved might mean emotional or even physical violence and these never end up to ok. And what about the lovingly part? People legit can find themselves in dangerous situations, a lovingly approach can be harmful or even lethal for that person

[@jJust_NO_]

@@Nancy20012 dang.. when i wrote the comment, i was envisioning the OP as a teen still new to romantic relationships hence the emojis? i dont know any adults who write this much emojis. so there goes my advice. idk anything about physical abuse or married couple.

[@sandradejonge6381]

I recognize some of it. He is absolutely emotionally broken. Almost ready to move forward without him.

[@andsoitbegins464]

Sometimes ....you must.

[@melissavalentine9771]

🎉 do it Please, 🙏 I wish I would have

[@er_5406]

Do it girl!! Do it. Period. 🔥🔥🔥

[@toledogold]

I understand the “almost” part of what you share. I was finally ready on Sunday and I spoke clearly without crying. That’s how I knew I was over it and ready, I didn’t cry when I spoke to him. These things can take time. It took me approx 9 months to let go and grieve while I was still in the relationship. When I ended it I knew I had done my best. And I spoke for myself. I didn’t tell him what was wrong with him but what i needed to do. This is healthy communication and also eliminates any “I can change” retorts or similar negotiations. Part of me is disbelieving that I actually did it, I really wanted us to succeed. He had older teenage children and didn’t want to blend us. He made attempts to blend but his heart wasn’t in it. He feigned awkward inexperience. This is what dragged this out for 2 years longer than necessary, because experts were saying it could take 5/7/10 years to successfully blend a family. This time last year he confessed to me he deliberately white anted our relationship to prevent us from becoming solid. He shared with me he adopted and maintained the belief that I didn’t want anything to do with his kids. Once I got over the shock and truth of his confession, the grieving started and I started to slowly detach, being as protective of my heart as possible. It became an emotionally diabolical situation for me to navigate out of. I’ll never doubt my intuition again and I now know what it feels like to be gaslighted.

[@ButterCookie1984]

Just almost?

[@lindavarbero3791]

I started dating my late husband when I was 15 from the get go we were by each others side. We had great times and hard times but always worked them out.. If he was still here we would be together 57 years.. Every relationship is different. I've been a widow for 8yrs now and he was and always be the one for me and I'd do it over again and not change a thing.❤❤❤

[@mariasahar2788]

Lucky you.

[@lindavernon8051]

@@lindavarbero3791 I’m happy for you. You must miss him very much. It sounds like you had an exceptionally happy marriage. I rarely hear about happy marriages. Of all the couples I know who are married, none seem very happy. The reality of marriage very rarely matches up with expectations. So yours is a happy comment indeed!

[@positivevibeskx1102]

It is so sad that when we are in love we turn into blind the see obvious sighns ,we even don't believe if someone try to open our eyes, great video

[@chelseajackman7730]

Avoidants tend to use romantic prospects for ego boosting but avoid inner work and commitment. If you're being used but also getting mixed signals, consider the possibility that he's an avoidant. Then consider your own attachment style. Avoidants tend to gravitate and latch on to anxious attachers because anxious attachers are the ones most eager to please, overgiving without asking for much or anything in return.

[@mezlandia]

You can also be securely attached and tricked by their charm and “niceness” at the beginning. I learned this is possible. It happened to me.

[@jaclyn1755]

Real time this 100%. We have friends in common, he is probably going to go to the same Halloween party we met at this year. Pretty sure who he moved on with puts up with a lot of rubbish, yet I miss him. Thanks for the love bombs and then throwing out a nuke on me. He was the perfect illusion.

[@Thefreckledfacedhippie]

I have an anxious attachment I'm working on. And I am with an advoidant attachment style. I'm new to this revolution. I'm beyond tired of my needs not being met. I feel so alone.

[@TenYah144]

This video just validated my feelings 1000 times more than the emotionally unavailable situationship I just pulled my energy away from. Pulling away is the only answer. It can either be a temporary pull away IF they heal…. Or a permanent one. Be open to either! ❤🙏🏾💪🏾

[@timetocelebrateia]

Love thyself and move on ladies

[@sukhasukhasingh]

there's a book called whispers of manifestation on borlest , and it talks about how using some secret tehniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal

[@J.A.Madventures]

All the narcs will get it and use it to attract their prey

[@mezlandia]

@@J.A.Madventuresoh god 🫣

[@laurielong7038]

1. Avoids deep conversations. 2. Inconsistent 3. He only contacts when he needs something. 4. He doesn't include you in his life. 5. He avoids commitment 6. He makes you feel guilty 7. He doesn't support your goals

[@wordsfallshort3563]

“Drop it like it’s hot in the comments” was such a left turn 😂😂

[@mezlandia]

🤣 my thoughts exactly

[@bonitobonita9263]

This is not only for women with toxic, narcissistic and or unavailable men but any kind of relationships of whatever gender. Avoidant attachment is really toxic and it’s an abuse.

[@zadabeasley]

Respect yourself. Don’t do it. ✅

[@LadyHawk1]

I walked away from this individual. Final free of negativity Sending light and peace

[@angelrockstar5694]

Men lost ruins good women and then women never w an r anything to do with men again ever again

[@mobee7613]

facts!

[@artbygilik]

This is where I’m at after too many investments in broken men. I can finally focus on my own life now.

[@Nottodaysatan71]

He's breaking my heart. Love him so much but he's obviously not wanting me as much 😢

[@raspberrykissable]

It’s best to let go as soon as possible and free yourself. Trust me your life will get better. I speak from experience!

[@carolecochrane8173]

When they start playing games with your feelings, run. Your too good for this loser. Please take my advice. You definitely will not be disappointed. 😀

[@heidiroman2573]

Move on. Enjoy your life alone and the right one will come. Same boat.

[@GodessQueenTila]

It's because you "love him so much" and he knows it. Never let a man know how you truly feel about him unless he lets you know first that he is madly in love with you. When you show your hands too soon it's like willingly sacrificing yourself to a predator. Wise women don't reveal their cards and keep men chasing.

[@Ulysses88047]

Don't WASTE your time anymore....Get away as soon as possible....

[@DJSFROMVENUS-ey6yh]

I AM WORTHY OF THE BEST OF DA BEST OF DA BEST IN FRIEND'S, EMPLOYERS, EMPLOYEES, LOVER'S ETC... I DESERVE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS,

[@trudy-annsmall9600]

Wow....I am now questioning the men around me because most of them would fall under this list....who to trust now?

[@AngieSainty]

Yourself ❤

[@silent_whispers319]

No one!! Learn to be alone.

[@faithellis6783]

Sweet Jesus ❤

[@chelseaaa7360]

There are truly good men out there believe me,as a non believer before THEY DO EXIST!

[@parinazaz4044]

@@faithellis6783yes trust Jesus he will direct your path.

[@specialk8927]

Facts that’s why I’m through with his lying cheating behind

[@TrueLibra91]

I lost 30 lbs dealing with a man that exhibited every one of these traits. I had to do some deep soul searching after finally detaching physically. Two years later, I’m still healing and trying to find emotional balance. If I knew then what I know now..

[@mezlandia]

Girl same!

[@drmichellefacaros8097]

I feel like i am the common denominator here. Working on communication and being emotionally available to myself so that i could be available to the right one.

[@crazykittylady6226]

You must love yourself more and just walk away at the first red flag and don't look past it don't ever think it's going to get better. It doesn't, it gets worse. The moment they tell you that they DON'T want you in their future as their Spouse and Parent of their Children PLEASE for the love of God walk away don't stay🙏🙏🙏 let them see their loss even if it hurts so much please walk away.

[@newkath7235]

100% true with the guy I'm dating right now. 😢 It helps me to break up.

[@Jerome12222H]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@Malaikamuskan-v5z]

Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@ThailandLottery-vz3pm]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Is he on instagram?

[@Malaikamuskan-v5z]

Yes he is dr.porassss.

[@alluringbliss4165]

I gave up on dating but I am listening.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Stay off dating sites they full of them ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@fainfoxstudios]

This really helped me feel more at peace with leaving him behind. I hope he never reaches out, because I have more peace now.

[@amoramor5930]

1. Small talks & ( avoids deep conversations) 2. inconsistent ( not invested ) 3. Only contacts you when they need something 4. Doesnt include you in his life 5. Avoids commitment! 6. Makes you feel guilty 7. Doesnt support your goals

[@jelenakatic1778]

Then again, there are people who talk about nothing else but their childhood traumas. That’s a connection stopper right there too.

[@mellyjelly3331]

This is heartbreaking but needed

[@HappyGull]

I needed this video to confirm what I felt was happening. Thank you.🙏

[@sharonstrauss1146]

Thanks.Some of this goes for weak friendships.Rather reconsider these relationships too.😮

[@joeyhowells3848]

How do we do this to ourselves We believe it's our Prince Charming After 7yrs of dating I'm done I walk out No more lies no more broken promises no more tears Better to be alone

[@glowieokenney7915]

I’m proud of you

[@nancylamb1117]

I never thought about it this way ... until recently. Emotionally broken people can use people so they dont' feel alone, but they aren't really in it at all. Reframing it this way, I can finally see .

[@Lovesapuzzle]

Yes. They will always see you, and treat you, as their back-up plan. They don't want you. They want someone. There is a big difference.

[@Portia620]

He misses my fun sunny personality and my photos same old story…guys over the moon for me..disappears and comes back and says I love you or miss you! Sorry I moved on stud! You snooze you lose. You play stupid games you win stupid prizes!

[@raquellaureano6726]

Just broke up with this kind of man. I know I shouldn’t be sad But I will somehow move on. I know I deserve better 😢

[@SoulEagle]

I am just grateful for an honest person and their courage to take action. For this I will respect their bravery to not follow the crowd like everyone else does. Whether there is too much damage and confusion that is evident. But I can just be grateful and express my appreciation. I would not have made it this far otherwise. That is a fact.

[@rdrr833]

I Hope all woman watching this

[@judyroth5461]

Here i am

[@urbangirlsify]

Never settle for Less than you desrve!!

[@justbargelle]

sad to say, but this is so accurate and I found this only at this very moment that I am too broken and ready to accept we are not meant to be after 6 yrs he had been wasting my time and my feelings I invested in him... So many people told me maybe he is just temporarily wanting me in his life but has no plan for me, I was so in denial and BEEN FIGHTING in PRAYERS to prove them wrong. God really knows when to step in... When to confirm things.

[@ONLYLOVEIZATION]

I like the drawings you use as illustration.

[@kellystewart1657]

Lady's please believe this video I've just revised that I've been this type of man for 30 plus year and new about thus kind of man beware

[@stacybradshaw4818]

I spent over 7 yrs with someone exactly like this, I've lost myself, and estranged from my family, who have passed away during covid, now I'm trying to learn to live for myself again. I hope someone sees this, and chooses NOT to make the same mistakes.I PROMISE YOU IT WILL NEVER CHANGE! 💔💔💔

[@aussieallstar66]

He can't wait to show you off and share his life with you. Yes!

[@Emily_Paris]

There is a guy who comes around and shows some interest but more than anything shows inconsistencies with the emotions. I’m ok not being in any relationship. It’s all good.

[@katiey9408]

I was seeing a man like this and it was exhausting. Never again. It was an eye opener for me.

[@callmestiix94]

Definitely my past situationship. SMH Thus the reason I left it alone.

[@carmenbarrera-cp7en]

Is really hard to deal with a person who doesn't accept his/her internal matters. Therefore, they don't want to search for help for healing properly.

[@Namaste56]

In a relationship with a guy who didnn't make me feel safe when I expressed my feelings on an issue that I need support from him . Many red flags convincing me that he's not the right guy . This makes me feel sad and wondering how many times more do I have to meet abusive guys ?? Meanwhile I'm quietly moving on and leave him behind. 😢

[@Empress647]

So emotionally hes not invested.. Been telling her this for sooo long.. if hes not emotionally invested, he can go... ❤

[@silviapinheiro4472]

Unfortunatelly I was married with someone who began acting like this and I gave him everything I could. I did not understand until U began studying about narcissistic, toxic patterns . I cut him off my life to save myself

[@nompire_productions]

Number 4. Exclusion is painful. This video did a great job explaining this simply. Thank you.

[@RoyalBlood23]

I've been single for over a decade and I'm in my early 40s now. Although i miss company of a man .. Damn the peace and freedom is priceless. Id have more weight to shift grey hairs to dye and wrinkles to mask with one of those narcs or emotional avoidants ... I'm glad I swerved them because a truely compatible, respectful, loving lasting relationship is so so rare... like diamond in a haystack and most of us ladies give up half way down that hay stack due to peer pressure and biological clocks and get stuck , blind sided and hurt.. I'm so glad for you commentors being so honest so it smacks that fomo being single which occasionally pops up, right out of me ❤

[@kaym.2854]

It would be great if you can do a video on what emotionally healed/healthy looks like. There are some men and women who truly don't know. have an awesome day!

[@Pia_creator]

For me build a good friendship first before you get into a serious one. Relationship is not built overnight it takes time to mold it and to make it comfortable for each other. Then one day you realize that you are falling in love with each other.

[@melindanaumovic8124]

Yep. Just been through this for 7 an a half years. Thankyou for this video. It was a lovely gentle way of putting it all. ❤ I've finally walked away to let him do his thing honouring his journey.

[@SangmiKim-v5i]

I'm feeling the same way about My new relationship. Don't have emotional support at all.

[@ShannonsBibleStudy]

Get away ASAP.

[@pillspideza1474]

😢

[@DerriciaDaley]

If I could only hit the like button under your comment more than once.. this!!! No emotional support, I'm always the one overreacting about his inconsistency or absence in being there for me too like I myself emotionally supportive to him

[@Lala89856]

I experienced all these with an ex. He would belittle me and called me needy, too sensitive, and crazy afyer wanting to connect and have a conversation with him. I was the last person to find out about his accomplishments, and he wouldn't care about my goals and success. He would get jealous when i got promotions and passed classes. He was my biggest bully and enemy.

[@Tholakele-qo3zn]

Same here I was the last one to find out about his accomplishments and get jealous of my accomplishments.

[@theexoticalaspielady]

I experienced this in a marriage where I felt drained and hidden within weeks of the marriage. It took years to recover and I had to forgive myself for getting involved. I knew something wasn’t right just before marrying him but did it anyway. The marriage ended in divorce by year 9. He divorced me because he wanted children that I couldn’t have s anymore but that was a blessing in disguise. He’s the sort of man who would use his own children and the mother would suffer severe emotional and financial abuse because he was cheap. Hated spending money on anything 🙏🏽

[@chantakchantal6065]

I left him, I spent 3 years with him, I am happy I did it. Strange this came up! He will only hurt more women.

[@abigailaddo4980]

thank you for this, i met a guy two months ago and i saw all these traits. he even called me immature for asking him questions about our relationship. In the beginning i was okay thinking he would change but now it's worse. i have to be bold and say no to him. Thanks so much

[@umarae27]

Avoids deep conversations also means he nods cool to your thoughts, but is more focused on his own. Too many ppl assume it means he won't even share his own thoughts.

[@joanb8489]

Where was this information when I needed it? I only hope it reaches those who need it. It is extremely valuable. “ He marries you and then abandons you for years”. How sadistic!