When Apple’s Features are NOT For the Boys

[@MeanBeanComedy]

Ryan's delivery on "Oh, it appears that won't be possible," is perfect. Just perfect.

[@guitarskin9758]

that was awesome

[@AdamKlownzinger]

I love how they just REFUSE to allow it to be put on the board

[@WontSeeReplies]

Because if they had, it WOULDN’T be apple.

[@palaceofwisdom9448]

This started off funny, but quickly became a dark reminder that the goal really is for us to have no control over our devices.

[@WraithOfMan]

*over your own life.

[@FuckTheState]

@@WraithOfMan yes, but you missed the point here. We’re talking about being able to exercise full ownership over our electronic devices, which seems to be a far fetched dream at this point given the anti-repair movement, the software locks, software as a service and so on.

[@Janzer_]

wahmans luv control

[@MrHowardMoon]

@@FuckTheState Which is all part of you having no control over your own life. Here in the UK, electricity and gas suppliers have just been given permission from the government to send debt collectors to your door if you miss a single payment. They won't even take your stuff, they instead will forcibly install a pre-paid meter that you have to put money on or your electric/gas will turn off and once your debt is paid back, they will not remove the meter either. Cities and towns are also being split into "15 minute zones" which people won't be allowed to leave without local government permission and if you need to leave for any reason, you have to ring the council to request permission and give your vehicle registration which they will monitor using CCTV and if you aren't back to your assigned "zone" within a certain time, they'll fine you.

[@latt.qcd9221]

And, darker still, that it's largely women pushing the control, and the changes will generally impact men.

[@wehdawi]

Love how she calls him Danny and Danny isn't even one of the names on the board

[@garthbass5327]

Oh it appears that won’t be possible 😂

[@sixupsprite5501]

She glosses right over it, this lady is on the spectrum.

[@tyrelljames3880]

thats fuvking amazing

[@mcj4418]

Hahahahaha!!!!!

[@AYFKMRN]

Best part is watching Elle trying not to break character- when Ryan snaps his laptop, she barely holds it together.

[@Voller84]

Couple of times where they cut the footage just when she can't hold it anymore 😂

[@nolaughingmatter]

Did he really snap a $3000 MacBook for the sketch ? What dedication

[@marshallmykietyshyn4973]

@@nolaughingmatter no kidding. they only had one take to get that one right

[@deagle2yadome696]

@@nolaughingmatterit almost certainly didn’t work anymore

[@CoffeeFresh_]

Danny biting his nails like his wife is about to notice he just bought flowers to store at a hotel.

[@mofayer]

At the flower hotel district nonetheless, 😂

[@johncifelli5851]

When people say dumb things like "I don't care if the government spies on me because I have nothing to hide," show them this video.

[@PorterB]

I genuinely don't care if the government spy on me and get to see all the toe sucking gay fetish porn I enjoy watching. I'd just feel like Nelson Muntz going 'Ha hA'.

[@jennycoyle8204]

So true 😂

[@christianboi7690]

I genuinely don’t get how this video would change anything. I like the idea of privacy, but If the government could stop or at least harm child trafficking or industries that profit off of it through monitoring them I don’t really care that much. I didn’t even have internet until I was 13. Why can’t the internet just be this thing where we all agree there shouldn’t be privacy on and we can save private correspondence for text messages, emails (even though that still is internet, I guess, and phone calls. Doesn’t sound so bad to me.

[@christianboi7690]

I’m not saying that that’s the main purpose of the government having this I formation, I’m just saying that conceptually I’m not against them having it, even though most of what they do with it isn’t meaningful.

[@johncifelli5851]

@@christianboi7690 because the things you read and learn about should also be private. Do you think the government should have access to what books you check out at the library, or what magazines you subscribe to? That is the analog version of the internet.

[@johnhinkleman9757]

Ryan has consistently been dropping good sketches for how many years now? The goat

[@AlexanderMichelson]

Yeah, people say he is a legend.

[@leonardoalvarenga7572]

"The goat" isn't a number. 🤓

[@gregorywitcher5618]

Ryan Long = Lyin’ Wrong

[@thomaschristopher8593]

why i loved the 60's, 70's, 80', 90's and the 00's - once you leave the house you are unreachable, untraceable, and incognito.

[@commanderwyro4204]

danny watching the marker roll off the table to avoid eye contact kills me

[@halcyo]

“When you get a message, we’ll have it wake up every device you own- your phone, computer, tv, screen in your car, refrigerator, and watch- and prominently display that message so that in case YOU miss it, everyone else in your house can see it and relay that message to you” - said an Apple designer, probably.

[@DanielPeaster]

“Everyone knows it’s the flower hotel district” 😂😂😂

[@groinBlaster31]

The flower-hotel-storage district!

[@Sl4yerkid]

so demoralizing... "I'll put it up on the board if its an issue!" lmao

[@BKroyals6]

Danny being SO stressed is killing me lmfao

[@noseotter-01]

“It appears that won’t be possible.” Amazing work Ryan!

[@shun_maru]

Danny's reaction to the picture to name bit 😂😂

[@dandeluca5645]

Whats even wrong the picture bit

[@shun_maru]

@@dandeluca5645 Big dent in the affairs economy 😂

[@jeebus2121]

@@dandeluca5645 Someone puts in a name of "Jack from Work" when it's actually "Jacqueline from the Vegas conference", the picture would update to show her rather than the no-picture that was there for Jack.

[@hhhhoooojdjd]

@@jeebus2121 oh, thank you for explaining that. lol.

[@stevenschiro1838]

Seriously everyone, see this guy on tour. One of the funniest guys I've ever seen in person. Dude acts like he's a 30 year pro

[@vknight7497]

I will second this. Saw him in Charlotte and he absolutely killed it. Danny did too!

[@TheUzamaki1234]

@@vknight7497 I live in Charlotte and missed him. I'll have to try to get tickets next time! Was it at the comedy Zone or one of the Broadway theaters?

[@vknight7497]

@@TheUzamaki1234 it was at the comedy zone

[@DaleSandusky]

I love his skits but I was very underwhelmed by his stand up.

[@RMTP5]

@@DaleSandusky Same. Haven't seen him in person but don't like his standup that I've seen online. Has kind of a weird "isn't this SO funny?" persona on stage. Love his sketch comedy though... the best.

[@LokiTricksterG]

3:29 Danny had a video up of someone jogging, because he's such a health nut. From the labored breathing sounds in the video, you can tell that person was really getting a good workout in. Good on you!

[@DailyLifeSolution]

horizontal jogging

[@jarnailbrar6732]

exactly! and the person was jogging through that hotel district where flowers are stored.

[@name-vi6fs]

I love how the actress is trying not to laugh after each feature is mentioned.

[@RobertTowell]

Oh man this had me cracking up. The humor in it plus the darkness of how many permissions they like to take away when they do "upgrades."

[@webrevolution.]

Bruh, they have to be very good actors for not cracking up laughing when that dude bends the laptop just to avoid her watching the browser. There is a cut scene exactly after he does that, but still it's very very hard even to resist that short amount of time without laughing badly. Props to all of them.

[@chkltmilk13]

2:13 “flowers” already on the board 😂

[@christophercostello696]

I've watched this video like 10xs, and it's funny every time...everyone's reactions are perfect...Danny's pure disgust at every suggestion, ryan confused and they other guy trying to think of a work around for every situation....I could see this being me and my friends in a real focus group 😂

[@snes09]

I love how she just keeps moving on like nothing is happening out of the ordinary

[@bobfred159]

The Boys addressing the 'Tech Question' in art because we can't in real life. Beautiful.

[@Wowreally42]

snapping the computer in half had me rolling!!

[@ditw_music]

The irony of a Samsung tv in the Apple boardroom is great.

[@timopper5488]

I don’t even take incoming calls from a doctor’s office in front of other people!! Nobody fucking needs to know my business.

[@jashanssandhu]

Thanks!

[@kawrno5396]

The woman was trying her best to hide her laughter. And virtual GPS tracker to another person? Are they insane? It's a huge privacy breach.

[@WraithOfMan]

Something close already happened: One of the social fitness apps showed you the routes that other users jogging/cycling past you were routinely taking, including essentially giving you a map right back to their house....

[@kawrno5396]

@@WraithOfMan Do you know what's more horrible? Young generation these days embrace these kind of things. It's like the lambs welcome the wolves to get near them. Children these days have zero online privacy awareness. And if someone tries to warn them, that person is immediately marked as conspiracy theorist and the possibility of danger is laughed off. For me there is no need for possibility of danger even, 'breach of privacy' is where I draw the line.

[@danielandrews5357]

She’s an ok actress but really cute.

[@MrHowardMoon]

@@kawrno5396 I'm 30 now but I'll always remember my nephew telling me about how him and his friends got jumped and how nobody should have known where they were and that they didn't understand how these lads found them. I asked him "Do you have Snapchat and if so, do you have the feature turned on that let's you see where contacts currently are?" and him and his friends just went "Yeah but....oh......".

[@AYFKMRN]

Elle barely holds it in, she does, but jjjuuussssttttt barely.

[@crazycjk]

This sketch was so funny, you all absolutely nailed it 😂

[@vitaliydvorkin1342]

Help me out, I got the first 3, but the picture of the phone contact, is that for a side chick, and I'm guessing the last one was about going to see hookers?

[@californiavirus3566]

My favorite Apple feature is the one where they put big icons for everyone youve recently talked to so that if you tap the screen twice you automatically send them whatever website youre looking at. It was even better before when you couldn't remove the icons.

[@bladynebula346]

Ummm what ???

[@willmiller9981]

@@bladynebula346 safari automatically sends the link you put in the search bar to your contacts. And that’s a problem, for obvious reasons.

[@rachelclark6393]

Why the heck would any moron make that a feature. Even ignoring por* there's a million things the average person searches that their contacts shouldn't be privy to, and as a contact I would HATE to be constantly bombarded with what everyone I know is searching. Seriously, why.

[@californiavirus3566]

@@bladynebula346 If you tapped the share button from Safari, it would include a list of recent contacts in the form of large icons that you couldn't remove. I accidentally sent a link that way at least once and almost did it several times. Just from using the phone when sleepy and not realizing I'm touching the screen. It's freaky when you look at your screen and see a message prepopulated with a link to a manager or parent. Eventually they made it so you could remove the contacts in the list. I think I experienced it worse than others because I don't update software unless they trick me into doing it or I have to do it, so I probably lived with it longer than others.

[@bhavyasharma8091]

That’s scary! Is this just for Mac or iPhone too?

[@StevieObieYT]

*Ryan's laptop took one for the team* 😂

[@anonmeatcheesebun]

This is genuinely one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen in my life

[@mmm-ie5ws]

"if you exit a website middle of the night, this feature opens it up next day so you can continue from where you last left off".

[@DangOldRegularOld]

The samsung tv in the back 😂😂😂

[@brendanmulcahy4273]

Amazing - actual footage from inside the room at Microsoft when they were discussing the new Recall feature.

[@ronaldraygun3386]

This is so true. In the distant pass (like already in the 90s or so), I recall the general idea of the future (ie. now) is that we will all do our video calls, internet web page visits etc. on a huge wall-size TVs in the living room. I wondered already back then "But what if you don't want it to be so public to everyone which web pages you visit or who you are calling?". And yeah, that is actually where people have gravitated over time, doing all that stuff (internet, social media, watching videos etc.) on their personal devices, usually their pocket size smartphones.

[@newbietubie]

Another legit laugh out loud sketch! Awesome work.

[@kylemckiernan1445]

Bending the laptop really got me crackin up 🤣🤣🤣

[@billyvo4218]

When I was a carefree college student I let one of my female friends use my google chrome to look something up. 2 seconds later she gave it back to me and asked me to look it up instead. Lesson learned 😂

[@KG-et7lq]

It happens haha

[@grammar_shark]

Did you get the bang?

[@jackbits6397]

"MY LAPTOP IS DEAD!" 🤣

[@V4VideoGamer]

The look of horror on the guys faces lmao.

[@spk1121]

😨 😱 😳

[@seinfan9]

A macbook was sufficiently sacrificed for this video.

[@FatNorthernBigot]

I knew there was a reason I didn't buy Apple. This is the perfect video. 😂😂

[@annafilou]

You realize these aren’t real features, right?

[@FatNorthernBigot]

@@annafilou I am aware this video was not meant to be taken seriously. Nor was my comment. Maybe yours, too?

[@hanskover]

@@annafilou Honestly have that feature since a few days. Everytime I open my MacBook in the morning it blasts the KZbin video I was watching in the evening on full volume.

[@peakyblinders6735]

@@annafilou flew right over your head. No wonder you use Apple

[@JustNobodyButME]

Don't worry, android is catching up.

[@ashersilbermann5552]

I love Che joining. He’s for the boys

[@silentrob668]

Ryans work is just getting better and better ,and the more self deprecating the humour the better it becomes.

[@irrojer]

Hilarious video. Minor oversight, the names on the board are Tre, Bryan, and David, but she addresses Danny as "oh Danny..." when she opens his laptop up.

[@madtabby66]

I could come up with examples. My dogs attacked my phone over pheasants.

[@vinjass]

I need the bloopers of these sketches lmao

[@trublgrl]

Comedy requires committment. _R.I.P. Sh!tty Apple Spyware Machine._

[@moneymikz]

How about this? Every Friday at 5 o’clock your search history gets tweeted out, we’ll do it automatically you won’t have to do anything, easy peasy

[@jasonsworld333]

I think apple is trying to make serial killers a functioning app

[@fab-antonio]

Great episode fellas. You nailed it.

[@Death_by_Tech]

Chemistry couldn’t be better but 100% awesome sketch as usual

[@davidschaftenaar6530]

RL Google Chrome "Your recent searches will show in your suggestions when you type so much as a single letter into the address bar. We've highlighted these results differently from other suggestions, to make it more obvious that this is somewhere you've been before and might want to go again. Additionally, any and all pages you bookmarked will _always_ show up in your search history. No matter what. There is no way to disable that. Not that you would want to, of course."

[@Torgomasta]

At 1:00 cookies will do that shit, been having xxx pop up on my browser for a looong time lol

[@Torgomasta]

Oh and Google has a search bar history that can’t be cleared on certain websites, super great stuff

[@yodawgzgaming4416]

1:45 Always wanted to do that to an apple laptop tbh, that looked fun as hell

[@CrextComicConsent]

0:42 She could not withhold her beautiful smile. ✌🤣

[@MrWinczakos]

Being a BOY is hard thing

[@realrghnck]

Underrated comment.

[@Yorkshire42069]

Unironically

[@climbtheskyspine5748]

Girls do the same shit, they're just professional liars, spies and decoy operators.

[@nonamenoname1942]

this comment made it even harder... Like, superhard... Like, Hardy Boys from South Park hard!

[@artimussantiago4779]

That's what she said. Couldn't help it. Never watched that show.

[@neilmattson9804]

Seen this vid at least a dozen times..Ryan breaking his laptop gets me every time.. Honorable Mention : “ The sounds gonna be on too?”

[@rasmus5341]

"Like what" "No I can't think of anything". Lmao

[@baldoggie]

Best skit yet! keep it up bro

[@baldoggie]

wow I am watching it again

[@KingcoleIIV]

Ryan breaking the lap top! was great! hahaha that man thinks fast

[@justicedemocrat9357]

Buying a hotel room to store flowers is a really great idea.

[@MrMcKane]

Next iPhone gives you a slight electrical shock whenever you receive a text, message or call. You can't turn the feature off without breaking the phone.

[@yossarian1633]

I like it. Now we're talking. Call it the iTaze feature.

[@kevwiz369]

Lol..if anything, a girls DM's and inbox should be monitored. You will find some crazy stuff in there..😂

[@JUYOBWISIT]

3:20 “Oh, Danny boy………” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@PsychoMike21000]

When Ryan rios his laptop in half I lost it

[@VaelVictus]

Clever, one of the better skits of late.

[@koolfizz-1795]

You can tell its segmented because 2:12 has flowers on the board

[@frankiew1922]

Ryan sketches are just next level funny!

[@burnbear522]

*breks laptop

[@BaresarkSlayne]

Holy shit, this is goddamn hilarious! Knocked this one out the park!

[@tonyg490]

The amount of times that lady half smiled when delivering her lines.....

[@theugliestweinie8365]

"Please don't put Donatello on the board."

[@calistafalcontail]

I mean...she offered to put it on the board 🥲

[@JoeSmith-fr3hl]

This is the funniest skit you’ve made.

[@razoredgechris]

ok guys this is by far the funniest one yet.. and most of yalls stuff is funny.. but this one almost had me litterally on the floor in tears laughing so hard... granted a little LSD may be involved on my end.. but im pretty sure im right about this one.. LOL

[@Qabick]

a lil bit of Lucy always helps

[@climbtheskyspine5748]

Dick In The Peanut Butter sketch is better.

[@ingi1095]

1:49 "Oh, so it appears that won't be possible" hahaha

[@kiljaedyn]

I love Ryan. he makes me smile a lot.

[@tpstrat14]

0:44 "like what?!" she almost held it together there. Smirk at the end lmfao WHAT DO YOU THINK, MS. LADY?!?!

[@Eagleone1776]

this is so f'in good. you guys nailed this

[@JG-zs8tr]

Awesome sketch guys, this one killed me. Keep it up BOYS

[@onlinebills9169]

YES! Have the video on full blast. Especially at Starbucks or the college library.

[@Animanarchy]

Happened to me once turning on a laptop in a McDonalds when I went to charge the battery after it died and it resumed the music I was playing so the place got hit by a quick blast of industrial metal before I muted it, making a staff go "karen" on me.

[@grammar_shark]

@@Animanarchy *staff member

[@Animanarchy]

@@grammar_shark Thanks grammar not-see, I'm typing casually, not submitting an official English class report.

[@grammar_shark]

@@Animanarchy Try harder.

[@Animanarchy]

Natsun, what is your major malfunction?

[@BlackElon1]

😭😭😭😭 " let's put it on the board"

[@HughMirin-Bruh]

Aah yeah, the hotel flowerstore district. Such a lovely place!

[@V4VideoGamer]

Hotel flower storage area

[@wombatsgalore]

Awesome, bravo, Ryan et al!

[@Ieatpaste23]

Can't tell if she's innocent or playing 4d chess to get these guys to spill their hidden stuff.

[@tonymouannes]

Smart phones already partially do that. All pics are automatically added to the library and Google Drive's app default to and often opened files. Even windows computer have the taskbar previews that show a screenshot by just hoovering over it. Tech companies always assume that no one shows anyone anything on their device.

[@TheLobsterCopter5000]

I died a little inside when he snapped his Macbook...

[@peterpandetimmerman]

0:43 she could not hide it! LOL

[@d1ts321]

Ngl i think an ace dude here just being really confused would make it 10x better

[@thatguybonds9571]

Comedy Gold, dude you are top tier Ryan!

[@BlamingBuddha]

I lost it when Ryan broke his laptop in half 😂

[@Solid_Sayori]

When apple features were designed by the FBI.

[@tmass1]

the hotel flower district

[@KingSteady]

When he breaks laptop....🤣🤣🤣🤣