When Chris Distefano’s Mafioso Grandpa Fought in WWII

In his special Size 38 Waist, Chris Distefano discusses his lifelong struggle with anxiety and imagines what his mafioso grandpa was like fighting in World War II. (Contains strong language.)
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[@UltiChadMan]

"38 waist 32 length. what kind of dimensions are those" FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

[@mediocreengineer8012]

Circumference and length obviously

[@johnathandoughboy]

katebe chikontwe wooooosh.

[@elsnowman123]

IKR. Its so difficult finding pants in the right size :(

[@hamthe1st326]

Hard to find jeans even boot cut jeans

[@ericoliver1603]

fatty pants bitch hips lmao!!!!! UGH! Relatable AF!

[@adambenzaari324]

His nyc Italian accent is the most beautiful thing I ever heard

[@MaloneMantooth]

He has no accent

[@limp6129]

Malone Mantooth it’s very faint

[@lsrpjune3500]

Yall tripping haha this ain't no accent if you think he even has a slight accent in any type of new York slang or accent y'all tripping😂😂😂 I got sicilian family in new York after moving over or being born and yall trip😂😂

[@brandonstonestone1795]

Gay

[@publicopinion3596]

@@MaloneMantooth he just gay lol

[@sup_toonn399]

"you don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank"😂😂

[@ejl74]

Liquid actually shot out of my nostrils

[@TEXAS2459]

ANXEITY IS FOR DEMOCRATS hahahahaa that cracked me so hard

[@age-ben4910]

Lol

[@SirTootsAlot]

I before E unless after C , come on PV get it together.

[@HamsterK37]

The follow up is what made the joke funny. Lol

[@TheKatarinaGiselle]

S R huh?

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

Yea PV do a better job. We expected better from you. You let us down.

[@EnLaLuna23]

“Go make the fire house great again” 😂

[@bigfan1041]

He sounds hot!

[@johnsonjj117]

Chris always just seems like that really funny friend you have. Like you can tell it's very natural to him, and never feels like he's up on stage doing a bit

[@kylepowpow]

"How bout no" and his motion fucking KILLED ME literally burst out laughing holy shit this guy is hilarious

[@cdr8031]

My grandfather also fought in ww2, he destroyed 3 german tanks only equiped with a crowbar, a hammer and a wrench, never made a big deal of it. But his officer called him the worst mechanic of the Wehrmacht.

[@shempthedog8923]

Lol that was good

[@Userhandle7384]

Underrated comment

[@genekendrick679]

Lmao 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@curtislee-brown6353]

🤣😂🤣😂

[@JustTheFlecks]

You think making light of the war is appropriate? I had a great uncle that died in a concentration camp. The ladder to his tower was icy and he fell from the top rung. Tragic.

[@rochellethundercloud346]

My new favorite saying is yeah,how about no

[@robinsonshe06]

rochelle thundercloud - lol me too... that and the image of flicking cigarettes at the German tankers 😂🤣😂

[@047Kenny]

rochelle thundercloud “why don’t you go do it Eisenhower

[@jeremyblackwater439]

😭😂😂

[@nikos2652]

brilliant

[@baron6797]

Dr. Evil

[@austeasadauskas2665]

‚If you knew my fireman friend‘s political views you‘d be like just let me burn‘ 😂😂😂 I‘m dead

[@TheDeven1000]

Did you burn?

[@mr.buttnugget3023]

😂😂

[@excuseme1543]

That hand thing he did with it was the cherry on top 💀

[@Fire_Marshall_Bill]

It is extremely accurate too.

[@OneMinuteTechTips]

I guess you technically would be. Lmao

[@foxbritten]

“No we don’t Diane”

[@hatkins02]

Grayson Fox lmfao I burst out laughing bro

[@robinsonshe06]

Grayson Fox - “You’re eating your feelings” 😂🤣😂

[@alexdee6096]

“i’m good go make the firehouse great again” that line killed me and wasn’t laughed at enough

[@TheGodlyGamers]

Ladder 11

[@PendulousJohnson]

Wasn't that funny

[@tubby4388]

@@PendulousJohnson I know, Most civil servants are conservatives.

[@teddyperkins3406]

@@tubby4388 most college educated people are liberal

[@remcovanvliet3018]

@Teddy Perkins most college INDOCTRINATED people are liberals. Most educated people are conservative. Most smart people are libertarian.

[@heyheyitsJoanna]

I don't know why, but at "Go make the fire house great again" I had to pause the video I was laughing so hard.

[@bigfan1041]

He sounds hot!

[@rightbraind77]

YES!

[@kingbrutusxxvi]

My grandfather was also in the mob and fought in WWII. In his case a judge offered his a second "visit" to prison or five years in the army. This was in 1938 and no one in America had any idea what was about to happen so he took the army option thinking it was better. Fun fact, he actually spent a good amount of his army career in the brig. Ah, memories. ;-)

[@Barbaroossa]

Can't get mowed down by an MG42 if you're in the brig. Big brain moment.

[@ktbk5vn]

The mob that’s cool (in a way) what fmaily

[@ktbk5vn]

The mob that’s cool (in a way) what fmaily

[@ravagesoyjoy]

So he was a sandbag? I knew a dude like that. No kidding, he got kick out and he didn't know about until one morning he was told by the s-1 guys that they got his papers ready. Lmfao! He thought he had a year left or something😂😂😂😂

[@jamesbarrisjr]

Your grandpa lied to you

[@GatLaFlare]

I died when he said "I'll make the whole thing look like an accident" 😂😂😂

[@workingguy-OU812]

He's got a great vibe for a comic - he could go far.

[@dansmith935]

We'll still not that famous

[@RichPianasOilPump]

@@dansmith935 tuck it back for chrissy d

[@allnamesaretakenful]

I hope so, because he fucking sucks at history. He thinks they had AK-47s in WWII and that the US army was using them.

[@exposedbhauturma130]

@@allnamesaretakenful well this might surprise you, but a mafioso fighting in world war 2 with a wifebeater and a baseball bat is not a story intended to be a history lesson.

[@poppytan5747]

@@allnamesaretakenful I dont think the joke was intended for historical analysts. I think it's meant to be a joke bud

[@mikemerc74]

“The bodies in the trunk of the tank” lol

[@brianbell139]

Best part!

[@zacharyp7511]

“I can hide it, shoulders” Idk why but to me that was one of the funniest things he said 😂😂

[@NetworkSkyler]

“Anxiety’s for the Democrats.”

[@bull419]

Right now it's anxiety for republicans ..!!!

[@maniclurker1]

@@bull419 Haha, yeah! Such a good joke. Wow. Funny!

[@johnlewis8934]

Nahh a good joke is a good joke.

[@MichaelDelvalle-nt4gp]

bull419 not at all lol

[@konvix1673]

bull419 wrong lol

[@squirlesg2228]

“UNITED STATES OF MARIO THATS WHOS HERE NOW” LOL

[@BICfootball92]

Pure comedy gold

[@almostfamous5225]

His cadence, timing and jokes were on point. He got so much better.

[@michaelivy5327]

Someone was heckling bad, you did a good job sticking to your joke.

[@npc1172]

Lol what? Nobody was heckling.

[@michaelivy5327]

Towards the end you can here someone.

[@MrWolfSnack]

Everyone tries to heckle this dude's jokes - he makes a lot of pansies cry with his stories.

[@DreIsGoneFission]

@@michaelivy5327 hear

[@The1Mustache3]

" Just a War of all grandpa's " this line is gold

[@Nesto38]

Lmao "I'll make the whole thing look like an accident"

[@morenow3092]

He got funnier since guy code

[@cecilycook5592]

THATS WHERE I KNOW HIM .... THANK YOU 😱🙏🙏

[@moosemilk8956]

He was also in benders. Not to well known but great series.

[@tatsusama3192]

I was trying to remember the name of that show for years. Thank you! Him and Andrew Schulz were hilarious

[@zaxx29]

@@tatsusama3192 That's where Pete Davidson was too. So many good comedians came from that show.

[@basketanand]

Ohhhh yeah!! That’s where I know him from. It’s so fucking weird to think about it now, but Guy Code was like a University for great, new alt-ish stand up and comedy, the people who graduated from there. It was like a stepping stone where they were paying their dues. Pete Davidson still jokes about it, about how if he got fired from SNL he’d just sneak back into background on Wild N’ Out hahaha

[@speedrob]

"You don't have to stick the bodies in the trunk of the tank" lmfao :D

[@outlawz7623]

Damn I remember this dude from guy code... didn't know he was this funny.

[@zaxx29]

Yeah for real. Him and Andrew Schultz have been killing it recently. Hopefully they get some specials soon.

[@Sylveon1002]

“Walking up to german tanks flicking cigarettes at them” 💀💀💀

[@happyhaunter_5546]

Everyone who's been active knows there's always someone just like this in your unit, and another guy that is Texas everything

[@dansmith935]

Well tx is everything

[@daniloventura112]

The canned laughter almost killed this... The man is funny enough on his own. Great bit.

[@r.p.mcmurphy8917]

just found this dude today and I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time

[@thatonemetalhead4176]

until he makes it political. shits annoying

[@teddyperkins3406]

@@thatonemetalhead4176 dont be so sensitive snowflake. the WORLD thinks trumps a clown

[@Zkullz69]

You know what mobsters and ww2 have in common, the tommy gun...

[@TheDocV627]

"Grandpa you dont have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank" HAHAHAHAHA

[@epoisme6160]

confused black ladies in the front row at 1:01 was my favorite

[@justcurious3514]

Just finished watching this whole special. Funniest thing I've seen in a long time. immediately watching it again

[@NIIIIQQ]

Someone funny on comedy central? This was actually quite refreshing. Digging the new direction, keep it up guys.

[@Shaunster1995]

One of the funniest jokes of all time I've watched this 20 times over the years.

[@stevemeters3090]

i completely understand. My grandfather was an Italian dude raised in Brooklyn named Guiseppe... 1000% not lying.

[@erttttt]

"Grandpa, you don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank."

[@eliweinsteinlcsw]

I loved the 38x32 been that way for years and it's a hard life!! Love your comedy man

[@IPlayOneOnT.V.]

I haven't heard Chris in a while and I love his family mob stories.

[@libertasmorix]

AK-47 in WWII? Which universe is this?

[@joegarcia1149]

hahaha ...just roll with it ...

[@samuelmorel9340]

This is a dude who got famous on Guy Code on MTV he's not a historian

[@InnerDness]

The one where this is a joke in a comedy routine, dipshit

[@darthballz5349]

A liberal universe lol.

[@MOperator]

@@samuelmorel9340 the manufacturing year is in the g damn name guy

[@davescott8859]

This guy is a beast at the comedy game, great set.

[@coloradogrownHD]

Iv been watching every podcast and every video I see of this guy. Hilarious!!

[@originalrecipe7988]

"United States of Mario, that's who's here." lmao sounds like something an Italian would say

[@elmido2664]

I pictured his grandpa as Paulie Gualtieri from ‘The sopranos’ and it’s just perfect

[@brandynwells5068]

You don't have to put the body's in the back of the tank was priceless

[@huntercrowley564]

Love nothing more than people that go to a comedy show. Sit front row, and don’t even crack a smile! STAY HOME

[@michellea.4243]

I feel like the pants joke is relatable to every woman who ever lived 😂

[@harmonyquinn2557]

2:53 My captions on the video read “You’re eating your veal eggs”

[@alecmoore7664]

Babe speaks “Valley Girl” perfectly

[@davidortiz8705]

People should check out BENDERS. It was a show, cancelled already, but he’s funny as hell & so are most of the rest of the cast. Great if you want to just laugh. It’s on Netflix currently.

[@isaacc3307]

No. Were not checking out shit.

[@keysersoze3804]

The voice he does when he says "I'm writing an exposé on the mafia." Sounds just like Nick Swordson

[@sxnchamusic]

Great humour after a while for a change. Class, man!

[@clydekaila123]

Still coming back to this and it still kills 😂😂😂

[@davidpfeifer4388]

“Shoot them, move up the beach”😭😭😂😂😂💀

[@DekkarJr]

hahha man. This guy is an underrated comic.

[@darylchristie3809]

Great comedian. Most naturally gifted comic. All his stuff is brilliant

[@frankdehaan3980]

Check out : Shane Gillis. I bet you will like him too ✌

[@scope402]

*walked up to german tanks flicking cigarettes at them* 😂😂😂

[@Aklifedesign]

i love sensitive guys. soft & cuddly✨

[@aick]

Thanks for making me insecure.... if 38/32 is mom hips I'm a morbidly obese Minion....

[@pavelcruz2345]

Eric Beckstead 36/32 here. I feel ur pain.

[@gamingsaint6238]

Aick B its okay your hips are kind of like calves, size is genetic.but also you fat

[@1evol909]

I love his friends list

[@NomanAhmed3]

"War of all Grandpas" I just realized mine did too.3:01

[@Erik-my1in]

Noman Ahmed mine did too lmao

[@AMetalWorld]

‘Fattypants Bitchhips’ is my new favorite insult

[@TwentyOneBunSalute]

It's was just a war of all grandpas" lmao dead

[@ejaylala1]

This guy is really funny. He is so naturally funny

[@brosegoes]

Not too shabby

[@TheBrob1983]

Definitely watching the rest of this special😀😀😁😀😁😀

[@jonsamuels9245]

Flickin cigarettes at tanks! One liner of the year!

[@kt420ish]

"Grandpa you don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank" 😂😂😂

[@colleenbenson7755]

"All my friends, cops, firemen, criminals" lol

[@malekula1]

Don't worry Ill make the whole thing look like and accident... XD Normandy beach looking like and accident after he gets through)))

[@raulcazares1985]

Love this guy man

[@ludvigeh]

“United States of Mario is who’s here now”😂

[@joshjohnson2600]

It’s sad that he passed up the opportunity to express how hard it would be to flip the bird without thumbs.

[@iveketsmyroksov6834]

Grandpa, You don't have to put the bodies in the trunk of the tank. Hahahahahahaaaa

[@PapaGuapo]

1:01 these two girls up front are unimpressed 🤣🤣

[@yesfan157]

I like Chris's standup style.

[@michaelc2321]

My great grandfather was in Sicily and fought in the Italian resistance and was also involved in the Italian M during and after WW2. After the war he came to the US and worked in horse racing for the M at Santa Anita horse park (Arcadia CA) then moved to Keeneland Horse racing park in Versailles KY before being shot & k*lled in 1987. Wild life story

[@MrAppleOrchard]

The fact that Chrissy Chaos thinks that everyone had AK47s in ww2 really bothers me for some reason...

[@mikedegrazia]

Maybe he was in stalingrad...

[@michaelvega3157]

It shouldn’t, it’s comedy ya dingbat

[@phuckyocouch9098]

@@mikedegrazia they had the ppsh 41 in ww2 the ak47 came later.

[@gmont5082]

"The melting candle from beauty n the beast"...😂😂😂

[@thatstndguy5862]

" Who needs to go bye-bye? "

[@imthesnakeking]

"United States of mario" is one of my favorite lines ever.

[@josephscarborough8888]

This dude reminds me of Ben aflecs character in good will hunting, if he stopped doing construction and retainer jobs and got into stand up.

[@DanTheTrojanMan123]

As I put my 38x32 pants on! Crying! Lol

[@christinehazard9641]

This guy is fantastically funny! So few new-er comics really are it seems. All I am seeing here are shorts, mostly him doing the same bit(s)- does he have a special somewhere?

[@runwithscizzors3904]

I'm an Italian who puked myself until I passed out because of anxiety last night.

[@dansmith935]

I have that what help me is learning how to draw fruit at the beginning and are easier try that bro

[@rileymcphee9429]

That mafia WW2 bit was legendary

[@TheNebraska402]

Glad I found this guy

[@MrKhho100]

The fact Chris is confirming mafia stereotypes baffles me

[@tiffanycalle8836]

United States of Mario--DEAD.

[@calebsargent6902]

This is my new favorite joke sequence

[@eharragan]

Oh lord, he’s a treasure 😍😂

[@taemeister9302]

This bastard inherited his grandfather's soundproof basement.

[@anthonyalecca3414]

1:36 Truth...! Make the Firehouse Great Again!

[@LexValidus]

Honestly surprised there wasn’t something like “Nice bunker you got here. Be a shame if something happened to it” in there.

[@sabrinaz670]

No we don’t Diane. I CRIEDDDD😂😂😂😂😂

[@chromecannon2536]

Quality. best line is at the very end with the tank and the flicking

[@dr.c.c.1671]

You are hilarious! Thanks 🙏

[@damonsta247]

“No we don’t, Diane”