Doug Smith - Stabbed in the Face - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

In the process of fending off a rapist in a subway station, Doug Smith gets knifed in the face.
Watch more This Is Not Happening: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
Follow Doug Smith on Twitter: / whodougsmith

[@standup]

Ready to rumble? Check out the craziest fight stories from This Is Not Happening here: kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5oyyo90i2VkGb7ImrDKdYBg

[@Joe.k.e]

Let Ari have his show back!!

[@Nolan-hy2gn]

chlamydia

[@karigisla]

ur intros piss off everyone and the videos would be good without them

[@rileykouf7453]

What happened to the crackhead host i liked him

[@georgebabus2030]

This is like if that Stavros halkias bit was real

[@IICubeII]

Got a cool scar, a great story, and saved a person. I’d say it was worth it.

[@unhandme6913]

You know, apart from the whole getting stabbed bit

[@nickh3788]

@@unhandme6913 bet he gets mad puss tho

[@williamdennis3158]

I thought the scar looked aight aswell😂😂

[@RamiroBelmaresJr]

Also he's one of the few men who can pull off having a Mustache, while being super confident and funny as hell. I'd move to New York to offer him all my joints, he seems like a genuine nice guy.

[@DGarza2324]

@@RamiroBelmaresJr datz gay cuh...

[@EhurtAfy]

Good thing the knife was not laced with feathers.

[@Andrew-re8hz]

Dwight underrated comment

[@olivacruz4763]

Don't get it

[@olivacruz4763]

Now I get it lol

[@KZ_MMA_]

Fucking hilarious 🤣

[@ryanndelaney7394]

I actually laughed out loud... Great wit

[@thepowerwithin211]

Y’all probably pay a lot of money to make the intros I always skip

[@3RABBITFOOT1]

🤣 one of the greatest comments yet

[@nandimoozle703]

They get told on every video but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@majestic-lamp3657]

@@nandimoozle703 i like it, its only a Little bit and interesting to see some good vfx.

[@DatMothBoi]

Real shit 😂

[@wahidhassani689]

That’s some cool ass intro tho

[@timothybrown2398]

"Weird growing up with an indoor cat and an outdoor friend." Crazy solid joke.

[@sonquatsch8585]

i must be dumb cuz it was the only one i didn't get.

[@laykantheealien5722]

I know lololol

[@Gibbypastrami]

@@sonquatsch8585 the friend couldn't come inside because his nose bleeds, so he had to play with him outside, outdoor friend, cat lives inside, indoor cat

[@Kinobambino]

@@Gibbypastrami boom joke explained

[@Gibbypastrami]

@@Kinobambino you're welcome for the knowledge friend

[@captaintexican5993]

So BOTH of his fights were life-threatening.

[@Phyoomz]

hospital both times. What are the odds.

[@francisco.segura]

BADASS

[@DasInf13]

I think he was in more danger with the pillow fight, allergies are no joke except in this case

[@manictiger]

It's a good thing New York is so anti-gun. It's really helping with that crime. Oh, wait.

[@jarchdm]

@@manictigerI agree I think the results would have been slightly different if the homeless guy had a gun getting shot in the face not quite so survivable

[@superpulaski9767]

This guy pretends to be soft but he’s low key a badass got stabbed in the face and continued fighting

[@isakferm7674]

You can be both soft and a bad ass

[@ADMUFKA]

Adrenaline will make you do that

[@justinbuergi9867]

Adrian Delgado very true. Ive made it 20 minutes before realizing I was in incredible pain.

[@moondoff]

Most people who realise that they are in a possible life or death moment won't get stabbed and just fall and beg, I'd assume most would continue fighting with everything they've got so they can make it out.

[@alfredospautzgranemannjuni5864]

I got run over by a motorcycle when I was a kid and has a little flap of my scalp opened, didn’t fill a thing till I put my hands on my head

[@chazblank2717]

“This might be a cause for concern in a small town, but in a city of 8 million people... some of them are gonna be screaming”

[@drphot6050]

Definitely a NYC thing to realize lol

[@Kinobambino]

@@drphot6050 NYC is like a jungle 😆

[@frederalbacon]

His little jokes during this story are great. That being one of them. Just completely separate from the story, kinda providing a little backstory, but really funny.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

i know! utterly true

[@alexia3552]

that had me cackling. I mean, the math works out, you can't argue with that

[@Bs-cu3oo]

Damn it’s kinda scary how he did all that to that girl and no one did anything

[@yaint77]

_bs420 well he ended up with a cut to the face! Incredibly dangerous to intervene but you’re right, it’s a scary world. Someone should’ve at least told him they were calling the police.

[@ketmakura]

It's sadly real. People don't want to get involved.

[@macaronicheese8721]

Seriously.. I would at the least call the police. I also have a license to carry a gun so that could come in handy sometimes.

[@akhil-sharma]

@@macaronicheese8721 But it's New York...

[@jdotx9843]

@Lancer1131 that's what makes them criminals

[@marshallfox1786]

Man, it’s great how this guy carefully crafted a joke from this incident but it must’ve been scary as shit during that moment.

[@joycor1419]

Marshall Fox Exactly what I thought

[@ThePyranthos]

plot twist, the scar was actually from running with scissors, but this story sounded better, lol

[@theredball]

For sure!

[@NeroVuk]

Yeah, it was pretty awesome, but I feel like he could have made fewer jokes that make him sound like a pussy. Especially since he's obviously not a pussy.

[@jellyjolly777]

That poor woman, thank god he stepped in because that shit goes unhelped by so many people

[@TheSkulleh]

he can actually use "Wanna know how I got this scar?" as an opener.

[@LoreCatan]

reminds me of that vine lol

[@evanduncan2139]

Even better when he gets to follow it up by saying he stopped a hobo from raping someone

[@BlahBlah-cm1os]

BeCaUsE yOu DiDn'T uSe NeOsPoRiN

[@blakeharris8986]

Like the guy but I don't know if I could afford that opener

[@lifeofanoreo9864]

The fact that he didn't tells me he isn't that funny.

[@aidanmcavoy2930]

I couldn’t stop laughing when he said “ Hey Buddy Thats a lady” like honestly how did his brain say ok this works

[@1SGCarter]

Aidan McAvoy With his mustache and that line... he reminds me of a badass gentleman from the 60‘s.

[@erikjimenez5851]

Honestly my mind did the same thing like what should I say in this situation "hey buddy!" then he continued with "that's a lady" and I was like... where the f*ck did that part come from

[@tallerwarrior1256]

It’s like when you off handedly tell the ticket guy at the movies “yeah you too” after he says “enjoy the movie”

[@Ghettojaku]

@@tallerwarrior1256 IVE FUCKING DONE THAT. I wanted to die the whole minute walk to the chairs

[@InshasChoice]

😂😂🤧

[@ryntintin5211]

I cannot thank you enough for saving that girl from a life of trauma & rehabilitation! You are a god amongst men, well done

[@AD-eg9cw]

Yes!! Hero doesn't even begin to describe him!!

[@TheJellybellymonster]

great he was able to do that-she's still fucking traumatized tho!!!!!

[@ShubhThakkar]

@@TheJellybellymonster And this man's got a scar on his face for the rest of his life - while saving a complete stranger who may or may not have been careless about her safety

[@TheJellybellymonster]

Shubh Thakkar victim blaming tho... 🤔 consider doing some research on the experience of those who are sexually assaulted. Trauma doesn’t occur only when the penis goes in... this guy saving her from that part does not diminish the fact that she got felt up and basically kidnapped for an amount of time unknown to us. And her trauma here also does not diminish that what Doug did was a brave act.

[@ShubhThakkar]

@@TheJellybellymonster I am not victim blaming though, I'm just highlighting that this man did a lot already, what more could you freakin' expect him to do for a complete stranger.

[@robluxipiech4033]

What a guy. True badass. Being a hero doesn't mean you aren't afraid, being a hero means being afraid and jumping into the danger to help anyway.

[@RustinChole]

robluxi piech damn right.

[@sixteennumberthree5544]

Words of Wisdom

[@robluxipiech4033]

Thanks guys, I just realized my typo I didn't mean to say fraud but afraid but I think ya got it when I used it again =) thanks again this made my night

[@careymxsmith-thomas8134]

Well said!

[@jpkjnn6733]

Damn straight, brother. We need more courage like this in the world. If these types were just twice as common the world would be a much better place. Keep fighting the good fight.

[@shamyiamcnair1943]

It’s as if nick offerman and zac effron had a drunken one night stand and he was the result

[@derekortiz3663]

Damn that's perfect, I had the zac effron half and wouldve spent way too much time trying to figure out the other half. Thanks for saving me four hours.

[@joebakboord6861]

Very accurate

[@sophirofe2557]

Kinda looks like Penn badgley mixed with Zac Efron too

[@oscarclarke2653]

I'd say Jake Gyllenhaal and Nick Offerman.

[@steadywatching7564]

Yasssss

[@Drunkyboi]

I got a little teary eyed when I heard the lady go "aww" when he said the bit about the cop calling him a hero... Thats like the ultimate compliment anyone could say about you

[@EdiCallier]

Same!

[@marvinuhilarious]

Fuck 12. ACAB

[@macaronicheese8721]

@@marvinuhilarious shut the fuck up.

[@mxe2693]

I was called a hero by my village and a local newspaper, never felt better.

[@Nom1fan]

@@mxe2693 interesting, what for?

[@Patrick.Weightman]

"I know that's not how it works - you gotta share a cup of water" This dude is FUNNY

[@EJ-tf6yt]

and "I already had it" haha

[@Kinobambino]

@@EJ-tf6yt lol

[@kerjakerja1665]

Can someone explain what it means ? Is it a quote

[@sorbas-irokanshi5256]

No wonder the bad guy ran off...imagine you stabbed someone in the face and he continues to fight you xD

[@CarminaMoraTheArtist]

no kidding lmao

[@tweker95]

Happens a lot most people don't know they were stabbed

[@jordanhicks5131]

Thats why you dont stab them in the face. You stab em in the neck

[@hannahsmith3807]

jordan hicks or, and stick with me here, maybe you don’t stab anyone at all? Radical thought.

[@jordanhicks5131]

@@hannahsmith3807 if i'm in a physical altercation and i have something with me that can be used to stab with, i'm gonna use it. Thats how self defense works sweetie. You use whatever you have to in order to win.

[@missnerdynurse5923]

Fighting someone after you got stabbed in the face is the most badass fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve been an ER nurse for 7 years and have heard some badass stories. This is definitely top 5. Strong work sir. You’re the real MVP.

[@jimgritty7064]

I like this guy. He should be famous and not people like Louis CK.

[@malimusimu5641]

what are the other four?

[@BothHands1]

I'd be interested in hearing too lol

[@NeroVuk]

How do you not know how adrenaline works as a nurse? :D

[@brettnelson7518]

I've talked to a guy that got stabbed with a steak knife and he said it felt like he got punched and didn't realize he got stabbed at first. Then i talked to another guy that said it was the worst pain he ever felt and pretty much wouldn't have been able to fight back when he was stabbed. I guess the pain depends on where ur stabbed

[@Pyranice]

um, he is a GENIUS?!?!?! every detail of his story served a purpose! amazing work

[@landonbrown78]

"Sentenced to 15 years of having a home" killer line

[@Azzataky]

Lol this story has everything. A hero, a bad guy, suspense, comedy and a happy ending.

[@conservat1vepatr1ot]

Don't forget the damsel in distress lol

[@yzertqhbog6597]

@@conservat1vepatr1ot dammit I was gonna say that

[@DingDongDaddyFromDumas]

The rapist/slasher got away lmao how's that a happy ending

[@bblcommisions]

@@DingDongDaddyFromDumas Did you watch till the end? The guy got caught and got 15 years.

[@ShyShy2551]

He's handsome & the scar is not just a bonus of making him more attractive but makes him stand out instead of like going unnoticeable good looking.

[@yaint77]

Chey R. And the story of it couldn’t be any more attractive! Very badass. He’s a great guy.

[@MonkesReturn42069]

The scar genuinely isn't that bad, good on him for doing the right thing. Plus, now he look like a total badass with the scar and mustache combo!

[@arthurhe5398]

He's Zac Efron regardless

[@molassio1989]

A friend of a friend got shot in the face in Iraq and it didn't do a lot of damage, but gave him a very Jokeresque scar on one side, and apparently he was a handsome fellow. So girls would ask about the scar and he would say "I'm a Marine and got shot in the face."

[@BluntStuff]

@@molassio1989 So presumably he has about 30 children, right?

[@musiclaboratory9694]

Now he sees the funny side. Now he is always smiling.

[@amateurhourresearchofself4714]

underrated

[@wntrinheaven]

underrated comment

[@Dibious]

"You wanna know how I got these scars?" Yes "Alright take a seat, this is gonna take a while"

[@AlexReynard]

"Had it all along" caught me so off guard I almost choked. Perfect swerve.

[@Kinobambino]

This man is too funny

[@g.s.651]

That, sir, is a sexy scar.

[@sunnyoverthemountain5029]

G. S. Thought i was the only one that found it attractive

[@VincentGonzalezVeg]

hes the hero we've been wating for till the end of the night

[@TheForsaken666]

its not sexy until you hear the story honestlyXD

[@TheCarlosCobain]

That together with his dope mustache makes him look hard as fuck, honestly.

[@idunnowhatimdoin]

@@TheForsaken666 - as someone who clicked on the thumbnail because of the stud with the sexy scar, I have to disagree.

[@aliceaprilmay]

i love how he’s ties it back with the pillow joke at the end. genius

[@williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664]

TRULY,TRULY ALL ABSOLUTELY BEYOND UNIMAGINABLY UNIMAGINABLE TRANSCENDENT TRANSCENDENTAL TRANSCENDING BOUNDLESSNESS LEVELS OF AMAZINGLY AMAZING AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICE, VERY NICE.

[@williamb.j.blaskowicz.5664]

TRULY,TRULY ALL ABSOLUTELY BEYOND UNIMAGINABLY UNIMAGINABLE TRANSCENDENT TRANSCENDENTAL TRANSCENDING BOUNDLESSNESS LEVELS OF AMAZINGLY AMAZING AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICE, VERY NICE.

[@kickmoji8243]

This guy pretends to be soft but he’s low key a badass got stabbed in the face and continued fighting

[@machoman2929]

It's a called a "call back" joke

[@jobivuvuvfvi605]

Major respect for this man for actually helping that woman. So many people would not have done anything!

[@nolannalon1527]

guy is down to earth person. very few people on planet earth can talk about this kinda heroism/ tragedy in funny modest way

[@EgbertWilliams]

This guy is actually a hero... no joke.

[@larryrestelle1434]

Hes not a hero hes a pussy he saw what was happening and had to convince himself to do something

[@blankshaw3285]

Bass Addiction heeee still did it ?

[@crashycymbals]

@@larryrestelle1434 yo, holy shit, it's almost like this is a comedy bit and he's exaggerating the story to be less depressing

[@GlitzPixie]

@@larryrestelle1434 wow I'm sure you're so brave Larry please do tell about the time you did anything important

[@tomjordan6092]

@@larryrestelle1434 Just go fuck yourself. He got stabbed in the face trying and succeeding in protecting someone and still fought back and you call him a pussy. You're Dad is a pussy and so are you

[@JamesFerrerosa]

I guess you can literally call him "the Joker"

[@firapuroki4571]

James Ferrerosa best comment yet.

[@alexhennigh5242]

Or just The Joker

[@alexsullivan5002]

How bout' midnight toker??

[@Yeti547]

He's telling us how he got those scares

[@yzertqhbog6597]

Partial joker

[@jonathaneagle3554]

Dude's a freakin hero.., how he manages to construct comedy around his pain and suffering is remarkable

[@nadirimyers6643]

Even I forgot about the weed in his backpack 😂

[@demeraragold4644]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣yeah

[@gotskinn]

Sentenced to 15yrs of HAVING A HOME! Brilliant! I like this guy.

[@hipfirehippie3474]

He may have gotten his face slashed, but he won the best pick up line ever.

[@alikaandrade3435]

Hipfire Hippie “Do you wanna know how I got this scarrrrrrrr?”

[@pippincovington1348]

Dude the scar is the best part, it makes him so hot 🥵

[@masster87production]

Damn, I just realized I was the nose bleed kid

[@paulklee907]

LilSauce me too

[@rnungaray1990]

Same

[@2004dale]

LilSauce me too!

[@ipodtouch495]

Same

[@theatermx]

Me fucking too

[@Silmarieni1]

A hero, so modest he transforms his brutal ordeal into 15 minutes of delightful funny storytelling.

[@honeyrayen3549]

That was some of the best story telling I’ve ever seen, no lie

[@TheSands83]

Seen?

[@FutureTrackZ86]

@@TheSands83 was thinking exactly that.

[@honeyrayen3549]

X acT Muziek and mansonlamps I just watched this video so yes, seen

[@waswaswad]

same

[@BikingVikingHH]

Heard* the story doofus

[@kairussell7372]

Thanks brother. I wish everyone would do the same as you but that's realistically not the world we live in. And especially in NYC where you're programmed to turn the other cheek or to " not get involved " . From the bottom of my heart, i thank you for acting. Adrenaline is crazy! Notice how he had to be told his face had an extra mouth on it? My friend got his face slashed at a concert we were at in 2007. He didn't even know it happened for the first 3 minutes. Someone bumped into him and started a fight. He gets hit, gets a couple hits in and its broken up, and the guy storms off. We all thought that was that. Like 2 hours later when we were all nice and drunk this kid walks by my friend and punches him in the face. That's what my friend thought. The kid actually stuck a karambit ( those hooked knives ) into his face and drug it all the way behind his ear and into his hair line. It was 64 or 74 stitches for him. The kid did end up being charged about a year later. There was this was this whole investigation. He was from Pennsylvania and was bragging to people that he cuts some kids face at this concert, and the detectives put the pieces together. We were from NJ, so without the detectives the kid never would have been caught. He got 10 years in prison, I think.

[@alexia3552]

That's horrifying. I hope he recovered okay.

[@metitfour131]

I like how his scar brings more attention to his moustache. I look at the scar for just a second before I end up back at his perfect stache. Amazing.

[@abremnath]

i got slashed in the face, it's true you dont realize until it all calms down and someone points it out. Adrenaline is a crazy thing.

[@butthugz]

this makes me feel better honestly

[@dovehq1031]

I got a tooth knocked out with a frisbee. Same thing, but wayyyy less badass.

[@hanzflackshnack1158]

I got hit by a truck and unfortunately I was wearing shorts and sandals. Fractured knee cap that got skinned to the bone literally, palms were hamburger meat, road rash all over my body, toenails on my right foot completely ground off... I have to say, I didn't even know I was injured until I got up and started looking at myself. Adrenaline is a crazy thing indeed

[@quixoticvalkyrie]

I got hit by a car when I was 4. That hurt like hell so I'm quite envious of all of your "this didn't hurt at all" experiences.

[@avalosavalos795]

Kinda true. I got cut in the face too. Missed my eye by an inch. Didn't really hurt till i saw myself in a mirror then it started to sting lol

[@poot111111]

Bad things happen to good people, even ones with a good sense of humor

[@Sigmundfraud]

Thats right, there is no karma!!

[@richardwhite8905]

Well if he hadn't done what he did, he would be a bad guy. So, doing what was right was inseparable from the risk involved. Karma didn't have anything to do with him getting stabbed.

[@TheKaneECO]

Not in this day and age. The woman will just sue you and say you were just fighting over her

[@kiernan415]

@TheKaneECO That woman was viciously attacked and almost raped. Somehow you interpret this story of a vicious a@@hole who attempted to rape a women, who also stabbed Doug Smith in the face as a victim and paint the woman who was assaulted (and only a mere mention in the story) as the problem. WTF???? All you INCELS need psychiatric help.

[@TheKaneECO]

kieran you must be new to this thread, some comments were removed. Have you not seen the woman who sued a man for saving her from drowning? Why? Because he touched her body without concent making him a rapist. Events like this happen all the time. Soon you'll be sued for just agreeing with a woman let alone trying to save/help her.

[@jimbrown2701]

A ‘buck fifty’ actually refers to the cost of a slice of pizza at the time. So the term ‘ buck fifty’ means a ‘slice’. Slice of pizza...slice on the face. Buck fifty

[@leocriss6354]

Wrong it’s a prison term for how long you would be in the hole if you stabbed someone. “Such and such got buck fiftied”

[@cam1834]

Thank you for being the greatest running back of all time

[@quill1260]

@@cam1834 Right? The Browns have never been the same without you Jim Brown.

[@Kinobambino]

There's 48 different versions in this comment chain. What is it

[@dbongoloid9541]

Wrong. Its how many stitches it takes to close up a slash from the ear to the corner of your mouth.

[@koosh138]

I've usually heard that scar referred to as the Glasgow Smile.

[@thejohn6614]

That's different. A gang is glacow used to take razor blades and put them in your cheeks while they beat you. The more you scream the more it cuts.

[@thejohn6614]

@@koosh138 Google says: A Glasgow smile is a wound caused by making a cut from the corners of a victim's mouth up to the ears, leaving a scar in the shape of a smile. The act is usually performed with a utility knife or a piece of broken glass, leaving a scar which causes the victim to appear to be smiling broadly. I'm sure there's lots of ways to do it. I wouldn't call myself an expert on it. I'm from the states. That's how i understood it though.

[@MsEssTee]

Glasgow smile or Chelsea grin is when the scar is from BOTH corners of the mouth extending upwards to the ears. It's caused by literally cutting the face, not razor blades in the mouth.

[@alundavies8402]

Ms. Ess it is not an everyday wound it is a punishment for grassing or something else like as an excuse for something else like getting someone to get into debt so that is the pretext for the terrible snitch mark it is saying that you are no good I am glad that although I am scarred nobody gave me one of those

[@IBeSyd84]

Does he look a little bit like zac efron with a mustache to anyone else? lmaoo

[@ohsnapkimyap]

i was just about to comment that !!!

[@missnerdynurse5923]

Squid S I literally said the EXACT same thing! Sexier though because he stopped a rapist 😍

[@trevorjohnson5213]

Minus the muscles no homo

[@gabriellehenning1400]

I can see that

[@nope8100]

Squid S Omg I thought the same!

[@error404blah]

Great story, excellent delivery, awesome crowd. One of the best TINH in a long time.

[@zackarysimon8396]

agreed. Never seen this guy before but he killed it.

[@MKaponeProductions]

cant agree more i nearly didnt watch it

[@Depuratumba]

+1! best of the season so far, hands down

[@InteractiveIdea]

And they did it without ari... Somehow

[@pts5217]

sucksqueezebangblow Absolutely! I find that so many of these are not good. This one was perfect. And the show should be full of interesting stories that are told in a funny way. This dude got it. So many of them are pointless non-stories fluffed up with bad predictable jokes and sarcasm...Like how Joe Rogan literally told a story about somebody setting off the fire alarm in a hotel. That was the whole story. WTF?

[@sidneylowery1543]

Yikes, I would totally marry this man.

[@4WingedAngels]

“Every woman over thirty has a surplus of purse napkins.” True!😂

[@7r3v0r]

he deffo got that scar in a pillow fight and his dad made this story up for him

[@drphot6050]

Hahaha

[@Kinobambino]

Definitely

[@carveylover]

I read the story about the guy and saw pictures of the injury when it happened. It was brutal. I love how he could make this funny.

[@smallmanbigmouth2699]

Rachel Frumkin Oh wow. Do you know of any links to the article about it?

[@numberrunner3133]

....just brutal...wow

[@RustinChole]

A hilarious hero.

[@AxelCross]

Holy *s h i t*

[@jimgritty7064]

Looks like a shark bite or something.

[@dw9864]

For some reason when i see knife wounds on white dudes face i automatically think that dudes got a scottish accent

[@ayebing]

Why just bc his best friend is William Wallace ?

[@johanneskeidel6515]

Seen a lot of "sons of anarchy" or "Gladiator" lately?

[@Voltron4ev4]

This was by far my favourite of these and I've been binge watching for days now. What a story. What a hero.

[@eldanomurua]

Dude has an outstanding mustache. Respect.

[@sunshineproject]

Anyone who can make something horrible like this funny is a true standup ;)

[@RustinChole]

Farm To Table he’s a hero man. Pretty badass scar too.

[@doomdoomerson6524]

Patrick Chole hell yeah...he probably agrees I bet... PLUS he became a fuckin GREAT comedian

[@TheTyTyXD]

The funniest stories are usually the most traumatic ones lmao i think thats why the best comedians have the roughest early life

[@burntreflection4500]

You like this watch the Joey Diaz joke about taking acid.

[@noesunyoutuber7680]

"I did not win a fight - I just got stabbed in the face" like those two points are mutually exclusive. He definitely also won that fight.

[@tmoney0925]

08:34 "It appears to be quite severe". That part killed me LOL

[@tomasotreasaigh111]

LMFAO! At about 12:45 this happened, he actually says "..I could push on the gland and shoot it across the room!!.." Lady in the audience half yells and half squeals "AWWW YEAHHHHH".

[@Estebanmdp100]

I hated that lady, she kept on being overly loud and annoying

[@tropicarls]

hah fuck i didn't notice this

[@BothHands1]

lol! That lady's my hero

[@covertbandit0114]

a drunkard wannabe heckler lmao

[@Nungasak]

@@Estebanmdp100 That's what women do. Men don't give birth.

[@remindmewhy]

Don't be a bystander- be a badass like THIS guy! Sexiest scar in the history of scars. An actual, real-life hero. Put yourself in the perspective of that woman... WOW... Must have been absolutely TERRIFYING. Paralyzing fear... Such violence and violation... I hope wherever she is now, she is doing ok. That is a lot to go through... And to think what would have happened if this dude, Doug Smith, didn't step in... Put HIMSELF in harm's way... I don't believe in angels. But people like this guy, rare as they may be, are why the rumors of them on earth exist. Rooting for you now, Doug. To make THIS funny, you've got skillzzzz. Hope to see more from ya.

[@vinny5638]

lol that was from the heart respect, this was my first time hearing Doug as well to make this kinda thing as funny as he did is pretty hilarious to think about

[@k9dogtraining]

Kudos to the lady who tried to stop his bleeding with paper towels. In a big city, its easy to just avoid.

[@Maniceureka]

It's definately admirable to intervene like he did. But would you do the same? Because frankly, a punch on the nose or in the throat can kill you. So stopping a violent rape incident could easily mean risking your own life. And that's a lot to expect from a complete stranger.

[@CBMMmercinary]

You're right. He is a hero for electing himself to get involved in a clearly life or death situation. Now imagine if he wasn't barred from owning a firearm to offset the obvious disadvantages he had in that fight with the knife wielding rapist.

[@cheriann6461]

@Carter S. : What makes you think that he is somehow prohibited from owning a gun? Even the strictest gun laws don't outright 'bar' the average person from owning a gun.

[@ericko5232]

His body and his speech say: "I'm a goofy thirtysomething" But his face says: "As a half sheriff half firefighter, let me give you some advice, son."

[@conflagrationTuesday]

That is one of the best acts I've heard in 30 years. Simply beautiful timing, and vocabulary, and self-reference...

[@MacBaza]

I think the scar makes him look sexier. No homo.

[@banksdiggy]

You can't choose the word 'sexy' to describe a man and finish with no homo

[@BAgee-lw9ct]

Same, no hetero

[@lolgamez9171]

@@banksdiggy watch me

[@raymccormick6285]

When you say no homo that's sealed your a homo

[@revfunk8823]

Whatever you gotta tell yourself cutie

[@kiwikudos555]

First, he's gorgeous. Just gonna put it right out there. Second, he is absolutely hilarious. His delivery and timing are perfect, and his content is very witty. Third, he's got amazing stage presence. Very comfortable. ❤️ Great job overall. 👍😄

[@BananaRama1312]

i also think that ur looks matter most. atleast in a comedy special

[@RiggedandReady]

@@BananaRama1312 Ha Ha.

[@jb613jb]

see this is why Dane Cook ever had an audience in the first place. A guy would never say "that's a talented dancer" just because she had big... well .. em.. you get my point.

[@erenjaegerbomb8653]

Ok I've watched about 20 of these, wide range of quality but this is the first time I've been so impressed I'm gonna look this guy up. Super smart, imaginative comedy and great demeanour/ delivery.

[@baxterharris2847]

I return to this video like every other month cause Doug just crushes it with this set.

[@theoverunderthinker]

if not the Joker, you can be the Smirker!

[@D4RKBRU73]

Haha good one. Twoface is also an option ;-)

[@yui_bernz]

Not a good one. Dumb af

[@manuelmateo3392]

Or the Comedian.

[@simcity_]

@@yui_bernz cry about it edgelord

[@thebigh4752]

Brilliant story. Great pacing, no rushing through the retelling, interspersed with punchlines. One of the best stories this season. Thumbs UP! (Also; Hero.)

[@jjfarnsdad]

Doug Smith is a great comedian and storyteller. I have watched this at least 8 or 9 times and it is funnier every time.

[@justtim1269]

This is one of my favorite stories from the entire series. Doug should do an hour long special he’s got great presence and delivery

[@Pedro-tl7jg]

When you're so good looking even a scar looks good on you.

[@pippincovington1348]

The scar makes him hotter

[@SAMMIE_SCRIPTZ]

He's very attractive

[@fuckoffjesus]

The scar helps

[@johnnycastellanetta7183]

This is easily my new favorite "This Is Not Happening". Amazing 15 minutes!

[@damiansandersom7026]

He makes the most serious situations sound hilarious! Great comedian, I can’t believe I haven’t found him since now. He just made a new fan.

[@SkoalTide96]

That’s a bad ass scar!

[@jayg1438]

outstanding story. Made us laugh about sexual assault, AIDS, a pillow fight, 'creepy mustache guy' the homeless and getting cut like the Joker.... and nothing all that offense. terrific story telling and perspective, and he did a great thing to help a stranger the only thing that doesn't jive is he went to Manhattan for weed when lives in Brooklyn!

[@ironicchannelname6457]

Gotta travel for good bud

[@antkiller98]

This dudes one fight away from becoming the real life joker

[@LizzyArmogida]

This is not only one of the most courageous stories but I kept laughing so hard during his telling of the story. Talk about a great human being and hilarious to boot! ♥️

[@ProjectUnity]

His scar looks dope now though

[@RamblinAround]

Great job man! Best one I've seen in a while!

[@dopestgamer5686]

Happy to be 420

[@alanmassimo2698]

Great story , great delivery...Got to check out more of this guys' stuff...

[@nnn248nnn]

This guy is my newest favorite comedian, wow what a FANTASTIC delivery and set.

[@lilspliffster88]

I seen his other sets n the crowd was dead he is a great stand up Comedy Central Netflix give him a special

[@panicwithcompulsion]

If his other sets are this good, I hope they give him a Netflix special. They've been giving most of the slots to female comedians and they are hilarious. Though I will stipulate that they pander to women's issues as much as men pander to men's issues, which can be a turn off for a lot of male audience members; they actually got rid of comments because of how sexist and toxic it was, which is a shame. I hope Netflix invests more in comedians, the younger generations love that shit.

[@chimdikeogbuokiri1835]

Best story since MEXICANS GOT BOOTS

[@DGarza2324]

lol rns

[@doctorowl2812]

Mitchell knows it ain't gon be good

[@anythingbutmyrealname]

It appears to be quite severe

[@Cynry]

Shit, where's CC at ?

[@sambeck2510]

@Killer Neko what about a shiv?

[@neilguylindberg6672]

Great humor! I had my left foot broken saving a gal in the same way. Ends up the guy had just gotten out of prison 10 days before - after 9 years for rape. Guy knew some tricky fight moves... Anyway, stand tall! Do right! Live laugh and love!

[@becky2235]

Thank you on behalf of all women. Bow did you break youre foot? Kicking the person?

[@andersonpommer4130]

He's 10000% a fallout 4 character. he just doesn't want the fbi to get involved on how he came into our world

[@missoula2213]

This guy is a hero.

[@RustinChole]

Eric Wilsey for reals.

[@garrenbloomquist5747]

Suffer No Fools here’s the article on it theinterrobang.com/new-york-slashing-victim-turns-horror-comedy/

[@danrom1721]

country zach efron is a funny dude

[@thatherton]

Dan Rom hes from NYC did u watch the video or

[@molassio1989]

@@thatherton I think it is maybe a reference to his mustache and/or his attire?

[@javierluna5235]

The mustache and train tracks joke is a very underrated joke

[@jmfs3497]

This guy is a great story teller. I love the "credibility" of fighting experience and face-bleeding with the pillow fighting introduction, moves into the drama, awkwardness, and blood of suddenly finding yourself in violent encounter, and then revisits the pillow fighting reference as the final punch.

[@DocFeelGood4]

The herd mentality of people in cities like new york... i will never understand. Props for him interfering but wtf new york?

[@nzwaywish]

DocFeelGood4 bro just shut the fuck up. If you don't live here ahut the fuck up. Theres a bunch of crazy shit going on all the time , if you were to stop and give attention to all the fucking crazies you would never make it home or to work.

[@dudeman7738]

@@autisticaussieyt6416 you were probably born with a silver spoon in your mouth if you think what that guy is talking about is unreasonable.

[@Qdawwg]

nassim zway it's like you're right but that's also why fuck new york, yeah I have tones of friends there and as a musician it is the greatest city on earth but I was born in the midwest (chi) and people here are just nicer than both the east and west coast that's why midwest to me will always be the best just overall kindness, manners, and respect

[@Vincisomething]

@@nzwaywish so you would just watch a women get raped? There's a difference between weird guy pissing on the subway and a women getting raped...

[@Kaydiasez]

Is anyone going to point out that herd mentality has nothing to do with New York? you get a group of more than 2 and this happens. Human nature to preserve your own safety over everything else. NOTHING to do with NYC. EVERYTHING to do with humans being human.

[@zmo1ndone502]

Beautiful brilliant timing and word choice excellent stuff

[@fossrampant5826]

1. Total hero. 2. One of the best-crafted and well-told stories I've seen in this series. 3. "In a city of 8 million people, some of them are going to be screaming." Totally authenticates the premise -- this man has definitely lived in NYC.

[@Undxscxsd]

I'd like a hard count of how many times this story got him laid. It's gotta be a lot, and well deserved! He's got the scar to prove it.

[@jaycub722]

I really enjoyed this one. This guy is fantastic.

[@RustinChole]

Jay Cub and a legit hero.

[@DrunkDuckXD]

New York is full of a bunch of cowards. How could people not have done anything? Im glad this guy helped

[@Gary_Seanfield]

The brunette at 4:28, notice how her expression changes completely once Doug declares that he's gonna intervene

[@StormAlterWorlds]

Protip: If you see something like that, where you *know* that the guy needs to get the shit kicked out of him, don't warn him. Don't yell. Don't push. Don't behave in any way that would be considered civil or courteous. You rush up on his blind side, and you hit him in the side of his head as hard as you possibly can. Then grab ahold of his shirt by the back of the neck, if possible, and keep hammering away. Don't stop until you are absolutely certain he is unconscious. If he turns around on you with a knife, use whatever hand is closest to grab his wrist and keep fucking hitting him in the face. Eventually he will drop, unless he's on something really potent. If that's the case, your best bet is to start screaming for help but DON'T STOP HITTING HIM. Too many times I see the "good guy" lose a fight because they tried to play fair. Don't. The point is to take the guy down without taking any damage yourself, if at all possible. Nowhere in there is "warn him" part of the mission. Play fucking dirty, because rapists and their like don't deserve to be treated courteously.

[@magicolmos]

Good guy with a mustache! rare now n days...

[@orangesoda8635]

M agic The only thing that stops a bad guy with a moustache, is a good guy with a moustache.

[@conservat1vepatr1ot]

And you're awesome.

[@3Demon100]

9:03 I really like the dude in the blue shirts reaction behind him. Everyone is laughing at the joke and a new fear just unlocked for him.

[@r3fu53d]

I lost my ear and it took 173 stitches in total. there was 3 layers.

[@danzobrough3915]

Damn... Hope you Ok these days

[@connor48880]

Please explain how you _completely_ lost your ear That _has_ to be a great story

[@r3fu53d]

@@connor48880 Not really, I tripped over a door frame and it got caught in something as I fell and ripped it off

[@connor48880]

@@r3fu53d 😱 That sounds terrifying? Could you still hear out of that ear?

[@r3fu53d]

@@connor48880 yeah but I lost peripheral hearing on that side

[@blasteroid9143]

yesss... i hope his friends call him scarface.. that'd be such a cool nick name..

[@TwoGuysWithPants]

blasteroid damn so true

[@Boba_Fettuccine.]

or AIDs scar

[@Berkmnn]

Wow way to fucking spoil it for me

[@es_three232]

Berkmnn why would you be reading the comments before finishing the video anyway?

[@perskarva123]

I got a scar on my face. Got called scarface for a while...not that funny.